 The Kraft Foods Company presents The Great Gildersleeve. Gildersleeve, starring Harold Perry, brought to you by The Kraft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Man, Gildersleeve is quite a walker. But on bad days coming home from the office, he sometimes takes the V-line bus. There have been a lot of bad days lately, and this is one of them. Shop back with ya. What do you think I'm doing? Pardon, madam. It's little crowded, isn't it? Awful. Not to be a law. Yeah, you said it. As a matter of fact, I only happen to be riding on the bus because my car's in the shop. Mrs. Bullard has the station wagon. Me too. I just happen to be riding on it. You think of the election, or have I asked you that? It's a mandate from the people. My opinion exactly. By the way, how is Mrs. Bullard? No, she's fine, fine. That's good. And the rest of the family? She's a little Craig around much lately. Yes, we must get him and your boy together one of these days. Yes, we must. Is your boy learning anything at that school? School? Well, I don't know. I guess so. Why? Well, I'm darned if I think they teach them a thing. Now, Craig's been going to that school for two years. Can't read. Can't read a blooming thing. Well, after all, Craig's only... Can't even spell his own name. Well, I could read when I was five. It's this modern education, Gildersleeve. They don't teach him anything. You don't think so? Everything is projects. Everything is too darn much fun. Wasn't that way when I went to school? We worked. Oh, me too. We really had to buckle down. Yes, sir. Discipline. That's what's lacking these days. Discipline. A little of that old hickory stick. That's the idea. Why, do you know when Craig was in kindergarten last year, I found out the teacher had them sitting on the floor? On mats? What kind of foreign ideas that? Well, that's news to me, Bullard. In my day, we had desks and benches. You're darn right we did. Kept our hands folded, too. We kept them folded or else. Yes, sir. I hated school. I kicked like a steer all the way through. But by Harry when I got out, I knew something. Me, too. These darn kids. All they do is have a good time. What kind of a school is that? I don't know. Why, they don't even teach them manners. Craig comes home and acts rude to his mother. Say, grab that seat before somebody else gets it. No, no, no. You take it, Mr. Bullard. Oh, please. Oh, too late. They learn women. They slide in a head of you every time. Well, I don't know what you're going to do about it, but I have a good mind. He ain't Craig out of there and sent him to private school like the older boy. Well, to tell the truth, I haven't paid much attention, I guess. There's a lot of monkey business goes on down their gilded sleeve. You ought to look into it. Yes, sir, I'll do that. Glad you mentioned it. See, what do you think of the election? Well, I guess I asked you that. It's a mandate from the people. Yeah, I guess I asked you that. All over the place. I didn't do it. Craig did it. Well, I ain't going to stand for it. That's all. I don't care who did it. I'm going to have to tell your uncle. Yes, sir, this time, I'm really going to tell him. I'm going to tell him. That's all. I'm just going to tell him. I'll clean it up. Well, you better, because I'm going to tell him. I mean it. I'm going to tell him. The minute he walks in here, I'm going to tell him. I'm going to say, Mr. Gilded Seed, just look at this living room. It's a mess. I'm going to tell him who did it, too. I'm cleaning it up, Bertie. Well, you better, because I'm going to tell him. Tell him that's all. Even, Mr. Gilded Seed. Gilded Seed. Leroy, what are these cards doing all over the floor? Or all those boxes? What's that stuff under the piano? Oh, they were just playing, Mr. Gilded Seed. You know how it is. Rainy day, two boys and nothing to do. Yeah, it was all Craig's idea. Won't take me a second to straighten it up. Craig, eh? Nothing to do, eh? Why aren't you upstairs doing your homework? It's done. Oh, it is, is it? Well, we'll just see about that. Hello, Anki, you're late. Good evening. I suppose you finished your homework, too. I didn't have any. I did it all yesterday. Leroy, you know so much. What's the capital of Maine? Uh, the capital? Yes, the capital of Maine. Maine, gosh. What's the capital? I'll give you to like, count five. One. Well, I seem to... You're not concentrating. I am so. Four. Hey, you skipped three. All right, three. Come on, come on. Four. Audrey, can you tell Leroy the capital of Maine? Certainly. Well? Can you? All right, what's the capital of Washington? The state, yes. What's the capital? Oh, you're not asking me. You're supposed to tell me. Well, what... Ask the trouble, Leroy. You don't really know, do you? You don't really know. Well, you keep hollering at me. Gosh, how can I... Ask the trouble with these modern schools. They don't teach you anything. I was talking with Mr. Bullard about this on the way home. I don't know whether the fall is yours or your teacher's, Leroy, but by George... By George, I mean to find out. Yes, Leroy, why are you waving your hand? The capital of Maine is Augusta. Did you tell him, Audrey? Certainly not. Well, you're too late, my boy. I'm going down there to school with you tomorrow morning, and I'm going to have a talk with your teacher. Oh, Anki, you're not going to do that. Why not? I walked in there in front of everybody. Anki, I don't think Miss Goodwin is going to like it if you go over her head and start messing around with her teachers. Who said anything about messing around? Well, she's the principal in after all. All right, I'll have it out with Miss Goodwin. Maybe you're right. Maybe I ought to take it up with her first. After all, I haven't seen her even some time. I might just run over to her place after dinner. I know what she'll say, of course, but I know what I'll say. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I'm going to find out whether she's got those kids tending to business or sitting on the floor. Do you evidently think it's worth your attention or you wouldn't come running over here with it? I didn't run, I... Frankly, Throckmorton, I'm very tired of hearing people complain about the school. We're badly overcrowded. The teachers are overworked and they're underpaid, but they're doing the best they can with the little they have. And I think they deserve great credit for it. Oh, so do I. Yes, indeed. Don't misunderstand me. I think I understand you very well. You're complaining because Leroy isn't taught exactly the way you were taught. Isn't that so? Well... Are you so perfect? Are any of us? If we had learned all there was to be learned, would the world be in such a mess today? I guess not. School can't take all the responsibility for a child, you know. If you feel Leroy isn't developing as he should, it's just possible that what is partly to blame is the intellectual atmosphere around the home. Do I? Tell me. Do you ever read? Well, certainly. I read to the children, I read to them, well, I read to Christmas Carol every year. Once a year. Do you ever discuss things with Leroy? Oh, all the time. I mean besides his faults. Well, I'm busy. Gosh. Do you ever read yourself? Now and then. Whenever I can. Now and then. Well, I told you Eve, I'm busy. Busy at what? Well, things. Throckmorton, be honest with yourself. Do you remember any of the things you learned at college? Or have you tried to keep up any of the interests you had then? Gosh Eve, I came over here to talk to you about Leroy. This has a great deal to do with Leroy. This is very important to Leroy. Because don't you see, you're Leroy's hero. He worships you, he imitates you. You're his hero. And that's a very great responsibility. I guess I'm no good, Eve. I guess I'm just a drifter. Oh, I wouldn't say that. I guess you must hate me, all right? And I don't blame you. You're wrong. I like you, Throckmorton. Because you're human. And so am I. Yeah? It doesn't really seem right. It doesn't really seem right that weekly should be an attraction. But nevertheless... Oh, I'm awfully weak. Nevertheless... I sometimes think the only thing that makes life tolerable is the little weaknesses we share in common. Why don't you move over here where it's comfortable, Eve? I've got another little weakness we could share. Now I'm afraid you're making a joke at the whole thing. Oh, no, I'm not. Believe me, Eve. Just the same. Why don't you move over? Oh, you want me to come over there? I think we're getting off the subject. Nuts. Have you ever read Plato's Republic, Throckmorton? Fui, why should I read that? What'd you say? I said no, I've never read it, Eve. Oh, you should. It's one of the truly great books. In fact, I believe it's included in the hundred great books. The what? The hundred great books of all time. Some universities drawn up a list of them. It's really very worthwhile. All the students are required to read them. Read a hundred books? Oh, I think everyone should read them, if he hasn't already. Gosh, even if you join a book of the month, you only have to read twelve. You're not suggesting I should... Did you mean what you said, Throckmorton? Do you want to be an example to Leroy? Or do you just want to drift? I want to drift. Only kidding, Eve, I'm only kidding. I never know. I'll do anything you say, Eve. Oh, why don't you just try this book? Just to begin. I'd love to lend it to you. Well... Hmm. The Republic of Plato. Three hundred and eighty-nine pages. I don't know, Eve, this looks kind of heavy. For Leroy, Throckmorton. Yeah, for Leroy. You say there are ninety-nine others? Don't let that frighten you. You read them one at a time. Oh, say, maybe we could read this together, huh? I think you'd get more out of it if you read it alone. Yeah, yeah. But any time you run into trouble with it, why, come over and I'll be glad to help you out. Is that a promise? That's a promise. I'm pretty rusty. It's still a promise. Bye, George, the things I'll do for Leroy. The fine cook is always very particular about the salad she serves, preferring to make them whatever she can with one of two famous products, Kraft Kitchen Fresh Mayonnaise or the popular Miracle Whip, also made by Kraft. Now, both have been scarce for some time and Miracle Whip will continue to be fairly hard to get because of the sugar shortage. But I have some wonderful news about Kraft Kitchen Fresh Mayonnaise. Now that the supply of fine salad oil is more plentiful, Kraft Mayonnaise is once again available and in reasonable quantity. Your dealer should have some soon, if not already. Kraft Mayonnaise, you know, is a truly superior mayonnaise with a delicate flavor that comes from the choice ingredients that go into it. Fine salad oil, selected eggs, fragrant vinegar and spices, and as a final touch of perfection, fresh lemon juice is added. And flavor is not all. Its texture, too, is superb. A special beater patented by Kraft gives this mayonnaise a creamy, satin smoothness you could never accomplish in your kitchen. For mayonnaise with a rich, home-made goodness, a texture nothing short of marvelous, choose whenever you see it. Kitchen Fresh Mayonnaise by Kraft. Now let's get back to the great Gildersleeve, who is about to rebuild his life at the 11th hour. He's finished a thoughtful supper and now he advances into the living room, which is already occupied by his niece and nephew. Marjorie is sitting on the sofa reading and Lee Roy is lying on his stomach in front of the radio, which is playing. I turn off that radio, please. I have work I wish to do. Marjorie is doing her homework. What do you think I'm doing? Homework with your head practically in the loudspeaker? Turn it off. Get your books up off the floor. Okay. I must say, Marjorie, what makes you think you can concentrate without music playing? It doesn't bother me. Me, either. Now listen to me, both of you. No wonder you're not learning anything in school. I'm doing all right. Well, maybe you are, but Lee Roy isn't. Anyhow, nobody can possibly study with that radio bladding out that hooray for Bob or whatever it is. You've got to play the radio. Why don't you play symphonic music? Why can't we have a little culture around here? Well? It's okay with me. I'm glad to hear it. What is it? What's what? What's what? Culture? Yeah. I'll tell you what culture is, young man. It's a love for the finer things of life. Oil painting, symphonies, great books like, where's that book I had before supper? Where? Oh, here. Look at that. Plato. What's it about? It isn't about anything. It's philosophy. 389 pages of it. You're going to read it? Certainly I'm going to read it. And I'm going to enjoy it, too. Well, Plato was one of the greatest thinkers that ever lived. I know. We had him last semester. Oh, you did? He made up a stale thing called platonic love. It had nothing to do with holding hands. It had nothing to do with the physical love. Plato was a very great philosopher above such things. Some thinker. Marjorie, I'm surprised at you. Lee Roy doesn't know any better, but you're in high school. Well, from now on, we're going to run this house differently. How? You'll see. I'll get back to your homework, Lee Roy. I want to read. Okay. That was in a book. There's nothing funny about it. It's the way it should be. Let's see here. Special introduction. Guess I can skip that. Lee Roy, can't you sit somewhere else? For culpa? No, children. Can't we all be quiet and enjoy our reading? Enjoyous. Very interesting subject. See that you learn it. See. Translators introduction. Seems to be a lot of that too. See, if I skip all this, it won't be so bad. Here. The Republic. Book one. Must be about page 50. Page one. Page one? What the... Oh, they use those darn little Roman numerals for all that introduction. Phew. Still 389 pages to go. Well, here goes. I could, Anki. Oh, fine. Great stuff. Deep, though, deep. See, if a man loves justice, he needs fear no attack from a dishonorable citizen for the just man cares nothing for possessions. A dishonorable man loves only wealth. For the more of a man loves justice, the gods run his side until eternity. Eternity is a companion virtue of truth and truth is the opposite of dishonor. Thus the wisest man is the eternal man and the eternal man is a philosopher. Judas. Say, maybe I could get a little help on this first part. Where are you going? You keep right home with your work, my boy. I'm going out for a little advanced instruction. From Miss Goodwin? Yes. She promised to help me. With Plato. I'll see you later. Okay, but keep it platonic, Anki. But Eve, what do I do now? Well, might as well go in, I guess. Cozy for somebody. What time is it? About 7.30. Sure, it's me. Who'd you think it was? Getting someone else a little later. Tell him not to come. I can't possibly. But Eve, you said you'd help me with my studying. Throck more than you're a child. Wait a minute, I'll be out. You mind if I take off my coat? What was it you wanted help with? Plato, what do you think? That's deep stuff, Eve. How much of it did you read? How much? Yes. You mean how many pages? Yes. Well, I don't know exactly. That introduction is pretty long. Oh, I'm glad you read that. It's an excellent explanation of the whole book. It is? Well, I sort of skimmed it. And then you started in at the beginning of book one? Yes. I couldn't make head or tail of it, Eve. A lot of characters with long, Greek names running around talking to each other. What's it all about? Throck more than look me in the eye. What for? I want you to tell me the truth. Did you read one single page of the book? Why, Eve, sure I... Look me in the eye. I think I read a page. I will help you, Throck more than. But you've got to make a real effort to help yourself first. Now go back and try again. Read the introduction. Don't skim through it. Read it. And then read the first 20 pages. 20 pages? That's a lot. The introduction's long, too. All right, 10 pages. Read the first 10 pages. And if you don't understand it, come over and we'll talk about it. But if you could give me a little idea what it's about, Eve. I mean, right now, before I start. I've got to go out, Throck more than. Who with? I don't believe you know him. He's a teacher at the normal school. Going to some concert, I suppose. No. As a matter of fact, we're going dancing. Go on with your work. I finished it. You finished what? Your geography? Yeah. What about your history? I can do it tomorrow. No, sir. None of that. You get that right now and get it done. When you're finished, I'll examine you. Gosh. Now. Brand's later's introduction. The Republic of Plato is the longest of his works. They're telling me. Why the devil does he have to pick the longest one? Keep working, Leroy. I'll answer it. But you're mean. I will answer it. Up over. Then she might drop right back where she came from. I don't wish to be disturbed this evening. Goodbye, Gildy. I saw the light in the far right. But if you're busy. Not at all. Now sit, you do miss bell. Good evening, Marjorie, Leroy. Good evening, Judge. Hi. Doing a little homework, I see. Sure we won't disturb you. No, no, Judge. They've learned to concentrate. Have a chair. Tell me what you've been doing. Who's been reading Plato's Republic? I was glancing through it. I like to read a little philosophy occasionally. And when you're in the mood for philosophy, you can't beat Plato. You've been reading? No practical value, whatever. Why fill your head with a lot of theoretical stuff you're never going to use? Am I right, Horace? You bet I am. How about a game of checkers? It suits me fine. Where's the checker, boy? Here, underneath. Well, Leroy, what are you... What about your history? I've done enough. You've done practically nothing. You get your nose in that history book and learn it. Do you understand? We're not working here. I'll have no ignoramuses in this household. Which hand do you want, Judge? I get to move first. Well, the frost is on the pumpkin and Thanksgiving's almost here. If you're planning a special salad for the big day, top it with real glamour, craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise. Yes, this famous and superior mayonnaise is once again available and in reasonable quantity. Now that the supply of fine salad oil is more plentiful, craft is making a fair amount of craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise. And your dealer should have some soon, if not now. Yes, it's good news. For this is mayonnaise with a delicate flavor, a homemade goodness that only choice ingredients can give. Fine salad oil, selected eggs, fragrant vinegar and spices, and as a final touch of perfection, fresh lemon juice. Its texture, too, is something to be proud of. Craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise is velvety smooth and creamy. So smooth, you'll wonder how it was ever accomplished. Well, a special beater patented by craft is the answer. Yes, we're happy to tell you craft, kitchen, fresh mayonnaise is back. Name the 13 colonies. You better have them perfect. Perfect? Yeah, perfect. Well, I'll be darned. Go to bed, you lucky boy. Good night, folks. It was written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tatley as LeRoy, Louise Erikson as the girl who doesn't want to go to Memphis and Lillian Randolph as Birdie. Judge Hooker is Earl Ross. 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