 I found a tech talk with actually good relationship advice. What is going on? Let's watch it together and see if it's actually true. If I could go back in time, I would never, ever, ever move in with a bae until there was a ring on my finger. I've seen girls do this where they get engaged and they buy a house with their fiancee. That's what I should have been doing. So to learn from my mistakes, never move in with someone until there is a ring on your finger. I don't care about the commute. And that is because when you live with someone, they're getting the wifey. They're getting the girl that's cleaning, making and baking. Is this thing on? Yes, banana bread, cookies, laundry. Why would they feel the need to propose? They've already got a wife. I think this is on the road to good advice, but I would go further than even engagement. I would say, hey, unless you're married to somebody, why are you moving in with them? Unless you've made that contract, that covenant, that promise that till death do us part before man and before God, why are you moving in with this person? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I know a lot of people say, okay, hey, it's just the next step in the relationship. It's just what you do. It's just culturally you wanna make sure that this person is gonna be somebody you wanna spend the rest of your life with. And how do you know that if you've never lived with them, people use that same argument for sleeping with the person. Hey, I don't know if we're gonna be sexually compatible, so I need to sleep with this person if I'm gonna be married to them for the rest of my life. There's some anxiety, there's some fear there. And there's also a sense of just like, hey, why not? Why wait? There's no sense of delayed gratification. If I can have it now, why not? Now, there's a lot more damaging for women than it is for men because weak men love to find women that will just give them what they want when they want it. They want women that will allow them to sleep with them and then be with them and do stuff for them and then also have no commitment or responsibility whatsoever. Weak men love that because it's just easy. It makes sense. There's no delayed gratification. It's just I can get whatever I want now. It's about me and my needs. They wanna cook and a cuddle buddy without the commitment. Now, even a lot of non-Christian girls, you're beginning to see this, are catching up with us, saying, hey, guys, what are we doing? We're moving in with them, we're cooking for them, we're cleaning with them, we're sleeping with them, we're giving them what they want and yet they have no obligation or no need to be committed to us, to protect us, to provide for us, to be any kind of a leader. Now, maybe you're saying, Isaac, what's the big deal? Like marriage, not married, like as long as you're kind of committed, you've told each other, hey, I'm in this, like what's the big deal? Here's the big deal, is that inside of a marriage, it is a specific covenantal union that is designed to image Christ and his church and showing, especially for the man, that it is about self-sacrifice. It's about laying his own desires down in service to his wife. Now, when I was thinking about it, the world operates relationships in this way. They date and then maybe they sleep together, they move in and then eventually, maybe they get married and then have kids. That tends to be the routine, the rhythm, what is norm in our culture. But God's way is different and I'll explain why it's different. God wants us to pursue an intentional relationship with somebody, once we're ready to be in that place of pursuing a woman, then we do that and then we're intentional about it. We're not playing games. We're not crossing boundaries that we shouldn't be crossed and then eventually you get married, great, wonderful. You move in, you sleep together, all that stuff and that's all blessed by God. You're under God's covenantal blessing. It's what God has ordained and it is a proper, especially in terms of sexuality, it's a proper outlet for godly sexuality within marriage. It's a beautiful thing. That's why God designed it that way. It's awesome, but when that's used outside of the context, when sexuality is embraced outside of the marriage context, it's destructive, because sex is powerful and so it can be used for great good or it can be used for great destruction. Now just thinking about it, the reason that I think God wants us to wait on that stuff is because when we are so intimately intertwined, there's risk there, there's great risk and if there's not commitment and a covenant bond there, then there's a big risk of just packing it up, of when things get hard, when somebody gets hurt, of just saying, okay, this is too much for me to handle, this is too painful, I can't do this. And so that's why God wants that covenant, that commitment, that responsibility to be there already. So then when we encounter that close intimacy, but then also that painful hurt that can come in that close intimacy, there's a rift in it, that you work through it, as opposed to, if you are doing all that stuff beforehand, you're sleeping together, you're moving in together, then what motivation is there to work that stuff out? It's like, if it gets hard and you see this all the time, you move in with somebody and all of a sudden, it gets hard and they say, oh, you know, you go out at the honeymoon stage and why would you work through that? And people don't and then they just move on to the next person and it's like, okay, well, yeah, obviously this is not good for you. This is not what God wanted for you. But even still, I see Christian couples that justify the idea of moving in together. And maybe there's a couple of reasons. They say, well, it's because we wanna save money. Maybe they even say, hey, we are gonna be kind of intentional, we're not gonna sleep together, but we wanna live in the same place because we'll save money and it'll just be better because maybe they're long distance or something like that. And I just need to ask the question honestly, like, who are you trying to fool here? Like, who are you trying to pull the wool over their eyes? Like, because you're not fooling us. We understand what's going on. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself, maybe you're trying to lie to yourself to say that this is not gonna be a problem for you, but it will be, it will be a problem. And why are we just playing so loose with this stuff? Like, as if it's not dangerous, right? Proverbs actually says that can a man hold fire to his chest and not be burned or walk on hot coals and not be scorched, right? So it's like, how can we be so frivolous with these things that are so powerful, like sexual desire, especially within a relationship and think that we can move in together and not be tempted in that way? If anything, treat this as a space to demonstrate yourself, control and your patience, showing that, okay, God is gonna grow me in this season. It's going to be challenging. It's going to be difficult. I would like things to move faster. Maybe I would like to move in, but I'm not going to because I know God's way is better. A lot of what we need to come to terms with here is that we have a deep desire for our needs to be met, right? We have these needs in our heart for companionship, whether that's sexual needs that we feel like we have. We have these needs that we feel like we want them to be met. And so why can't we just have them met? And we need to understand, okay, number one, when you're approaching marriage in that way of I need my needs to be met, that's gonna start you off on the wrong foot. Like every married person that I've heard, they're like, okay, this is a bad road. If you're going down this road of only thinking about your needs being met. So number one, check yourself. Like that's what I think about. It's like, okay, check yourself. Do you really want this? Okay, you know, but understand that, hey, it's not about you. It's not about your needs being fulfilled when you want them to be fulfilled. Look, the key here in my mind is to let go of your own perceived needs. I need this to happen, or this is what I want. You start thinking about what the other person needs and what they need is Jesus. What they need is to follow Him. What they need is for them to grow in closer and closer relationship with God. And if that's what you want for them, then you don't want them to stumble and you don't want to lead them down that path of temptation. So that should be on your heart. That should be on your mind as you're thinking about this to say, okay, hey, you know what? I love you and I want this to, I want us to be connected, but I also want us to be under the blessing of God and not to step out of that context where we're pursuing what we think is best or what we want in this moment. Because ultimately it's gonna be better following God's ways, taking our time and just making sure that, hey, both of our hearts are oriented towards God and not just our own desires in this moment. And ladies, if you're dating a dude that wants to move in, you're dating a weak man. You're dating a man that just wants the immediate gratification. He doesn't want the responsibility. He doesn't want the commitment. He wants what he can get now. And I'm telling you, like, drop him, seriously. Like, why are you messing around with a dude that has no respect for you? Like, that's not respecting a woman to want to move in with her, to want to get the perks of being a husband but not the responsibility and commitment that comes with it. Like, being a man within a relationship, being a husband is a high calling and you can't just settle for any dude that says, oh, you know what? I wanna move in. Let's have a sleepover. Like, you don't want that kind of dude. Like, why are you messing around with a dude like that? I don't get it. Makes no sense. You are so much more valuable and you're worth so much more than that. You don't deserve that. You don't need to settle for that. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this in the comments down below. A huge shout out to everyone on Patreon who continues to support my work of equipping people to follow Jesus daily. If you like what I do here, subscribe because I'm putting out new videos all the time. Until next time, God bless.