 Oh, uh, waiter. Yes, sir? I'll have Yankee pot roast, some mashed potatoes, a mixed green salad with French dressing, and a bottle of cold, perhaps blue ribbon. Yes, sir. Finest beer served anywhere. From Hollywood, perhaps blue ribbon. Finest beer served anywhere. Proudly presented. Production, don't trust your husband. Director, Lloyd Bacon. Star, Fred McMurray. The Hollywood screen directors present an interlude of laughter. The motion picture comedy, Don't Trust Your Husband, starring Fred McMurray, and introduced by the director of the film, Lloyd Bacon. One of the facts of picture making is that a camera is a machine that sees what the director wants it to see. And if the machine can capture a whole world of entertainment, much of the credit belongs to such pioneer directors as our guest tonight. The creator of such grand films as Mother is a Freshman. You were meant for me. And, of course, don't trust your husband. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Lloyd Bacon. Thank you. And you probably guessed from the title of our story, it doesn't try to solve any pressing world problems. But it might help you forget a few of them. As we turn to the particular brand of nonsense that made this picture so much fun to do. Now here it is for the first time in the air, starring Fred McMurray and his original role of Vince Dome. And don't trust your husband. The title of our story does not necessarily reflect this program's views on marriage. However, if you happen to be the wife of an advertising executive who spends his evenings with a mysterious client named Mr. Frazier, we advise you to listen closely. Especially if you should wake up at six o'clock some morning and find your husband in evening clothes tiptoeing into the bedroom. Vincent. Oh, good morning, Paula. I'm sorry if the alarm woke you up. Alarm? I didn't hear it. You must have been sleeping. I just turned it off. Oh. I thought you said you turned it off. Well, it must be an echo. What are you doing in your clothes at six o'clock? Well, I got a date with Mr. Frazier to play golf. In your tuxedo? Well, I like to be neat. What time did you get in? Well, it was only, what time did you fall asleep, dear? About 1.30. Well, that's just about the time I got in. Mr. Frazier wouldn't let me get away any earlier. Did he sign the contract? No, not yet, but he will. Vince, were you really with Mr. Frazier? Why, Paula, what a question. Certainly I was with it. I mean, him. I see. Yes, well, there were teeing off at seven. Goodbye. Paula, I was just thinking. I've been so busy lately. Maybe we should take a night off for ourselves. Go somewhere, huh? That would be very nice. Tonight, huh? You pick the spot. Darling. Uh-huh. I don't want to call you a liar, so you just run along to your golf game. Yes, dear. But I'd like to break a niblick over your head. Well, that's very bad form, Paula. The rulebook calls for a mashy shot. Oh, Vince. Yes, dear? You can tell Mr. Frazier I don't like his brand of face powder. It keeps coming off on your lapel. Oh, look, Paula, I can't tell him that. He might think I'm being catty. Well, goodbye, dear. No, darn. Vince, what's happening to us? Hi. Don't you believe in letting a sister-in-law sleep these mornings? No, hello, Eve. What's all the commotion? It's your brother. I think he's turning into a fiend. Well, maybe you're just feeding him too much meat. Honestly, I don't think there really is a Mr. Frazier. Who's he spending all his time with? That's what I'd like to find out. The way he comes in at dawn every morning... Maybe he's playing pinocchio with the milkman. No, I'm serious, Eve. And I'm worried. You know, it's just too bad you can't worry him for a while. I bet Vince wouldn't even be jealous of me anymore. No, not unless you give him something to be jealous about. And you couldn't... You couldn't... Paula! You could! Huh? The Ted Burke Taland Agency. They handle all kinds of actors. Now, why couldn't you do this? Right after breakfast, we'll go downtown to hire a fella to... Miss Nelson. Yes, Mr. Doe. Take an inter-office memo. Yes, Mr. Doe. To the president of Hendricks, Benton, Dorton and Der Advertising Agency. Dear Mr. Hendricks, I quit. Sign it for me and go hit Mr. Hendricks across the mouth with it. Vince, my boy! Mr. Hendricks, I've got news for you. That'll be all, Miss Nelson. Did Margot Frazier sign the contract? No, but she's breaking up my marriage. The company can have the usual 15% commission. Vince, why didn't you tell your wife that the president of Madame Cosmetics is a woman? Why? Because Margot and I used to be engaged, that's why. You know how wives are about things like that. Paula finds out I'm spending all this time with her, she'll never forgive me. I'm sorry, TD, but I can't go through with it. I'm quitting. You can't do that. You're the only one Margot Frazier will talk business with. Business? Well, she wants to do it neck. How long can I fight her off? Well, look, look, look, Doe. Now, how would you like to be a partner in the business? Hendricks, Benton, Dorton, Der and Doe. Now, how does that sound to you? Well, say it again, will you? Hendricks, Benton, Dorton, Der and Doe. Sounds kind of fussy, doesn't it? Now, look, there's a big bonus bid. Stand the job, get that contract, and you're in. All right, Mr. Dixon. All right, I'll try. Fine, my boy, fine. Mr. Doe, there's a Mr. Ted Burke here to see you. Send him in, Mr. Nelson. Mr. Doe, I'm Ted Burke of the Burke Townal Agency. Oh, yes. Sorry, Burke, we're not auditioning right now. Oh, maybe you can throw a little business my way if I do you a favor. Favor? Yeah, this morning, Dame came into my office and she wants to hire a guy to make a play for. You know, right in front of her husband, make him jealous. Well, look, what's I got to do with me? You're the husband. What? I thought you'd like to know. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's just a little joke. A great little kidder, my wife. You know, with a sense of humor like that, it's a miracle you ain't in the hospital. Tell me, Burke, where is all this going to happen? Oh, at the Spartan room tonight. Your wife says that you'll be sitting at table number four, so I reserve table number three for my client. Well, be sure to get a good-looking guy, you know, someone I can really be jealous of. Yeah, well, that won't be hard. He'll be real class, you know, and probably poses a big-shot businessman. Yeah. Well, we'll see who's jealous. Spartan room, Captain Stess. Oh, hello, Julius. This is Ted Burke. Yes, Mr. Burke. Julius, earlier today, I reserved table number three for one of my Hector clients, but he's going to be delayed. Can you hold the reservation? Oh, yeah, very busy, Mr. Burke, but I will try. Oh, sure, appreciate it. Thanks, Julius. Uh, Captain. Oh, good evening, sir. You have a reservation? Well, I'm afraid not, but my company usually has a stand-in reservation. Your company, sir? Uh-huh, Kim Cigarettes. I'm Claude Kimball. Kim Cigarette? Oh, my apologies, Mr. Kimball. Of course we have a table for you. Table number three, the actor who reserved it is late. George, please show Mr. Kimball to number three, next to Mr. and Mrs. Dawn. Yes, Paula? You see that man at the next table? Uh, yes, I know he's been watching you. I think he winked at me. Maybe he's just twitchy. Well, how can you sit there and let a strange man twitch at me? Don't worry, I'll take care of him. Vincent, darling, you're jealous. Now, you just sit where you are, Paula. This is a matter between two male animals. Hello, Bub. I'm afraid I don't know you. Look, if you're going to make love to my wife, you'll have to do better than you're doing. I assure you. I saw you watching her. I know just what you have in mind. Oh! Well, then I apologize. Come on over right over to our table. You don't have any objections? No, I just don't take too long about making a play for her. I have to get up in the morning, you know, so let's get this over with and get home early, huh? Yeah, thank you. Darling, this is Mr.... My name's Kimball. Yes, I'm Vince Dawn and this is my wife Paula. How do you do? Now, you just sit right here next to Paula. Here, hold my hand. Hey, what? Don't argue. You can kiss me later. Man, this sure beats Southern hospitality. Well, Mr. Kimball, what business are you in? The tobacco business. The tobacco business. Not any relation to Claude Kimball, the tobacco tycoon by any chance. Well, I'm Claude Kimball. You're Claude Kimball. Don't tell me. Well, Claude, I happen to be in the advertising business. Hendricks, Fenton, Thornton, you've heard of them. Maybe someday we could handle your account. Well, maybe you could, Vince. Claude, put your arm around me. Huh? Your arm. There. Vince, your wife. I hope you don't mind. Oh, no, not at all. Not at all. Claude, have a good time. That's what we're here for. Can't you be a little more ardent? Yeah, but you're husband. What are you? An amateur or something? Oh, hopping around. Act like it. Well, you too. I hate to break this up, but it's getting a little late. Oh, Vince, Claude, and I were just beginning to enjoy each other's company. Well, then, how about getting together tomorrow? The three of us? Oh, no, no, I'm going to be busy, but why don't you two make a day of it, huh? Vince. I'm going on here. Fine. Well, I'm welling. And so am I. Vince, old man, I'm going to think about that Kim cigarette account for your company. Oh, sure, sure. Sure, Claude. You do that. Good night, Claude. Until tomorrow, Paula. If you have any friends that you think are like my wife, just bring them around. Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll keep her just to myself. Vince, after all, you are my husband. But I trust you, dear, and you trust me. And if we trust each other, there's nothing to worry about. Is there? Good morning, Miss Nelson. Oh, Mr. Don. And Mr. Kimball has been phoning you all morning. Kimball? Oh, yes, Kimball. A great little act with that guy. Mr. Hendricks is waiting in your office. Oh, thanks, Miss Nelson. Well, good morning, boss. Congratulations, my boy. From this minute, you're our partner in this business. Funner. But I haven't landed the Margo Fraser account yet. I'm talking about the Kim cigarette account called Kimball phoned this morning. He... He did. He said he's giving all his friends to us and to credit you with the account. Kimball? Claude Kimball? Are you sure? Well, yes, I'm sure of the... What's the matter, boy? You look sick. Well, something inside of me just died. Tell me, how did you get to know Kimball anyway? Through my wife, I guess. Oh, I didn't know you were in so solid with him. I didn't know it myself. He says he considers you a close friend. He says he considers you a close friend. He does. And your wife even closer. Mr. Henrys, do you know what a man says when he's just put his wife on a silver platter and handed her to somebody else? What? No! You are listening to the Screen Directors Playhouse production of Don't Trust Your Husband, starring Fred McMurray and introduced by the director of the film, Lloyd Bacon. You are at Elkhart, Indiana. The train has just pulled out. You, hot, tired and bored from your long journey, stoop over to pick up your suitcase and sample kit. There must be some place in this town where a man can get a tall cooling glass of Paps Blue Ribbon. In the gathering dusk, you search among the neon signs. Ah, there you are. Just across the street, that little blue sign. Paps Blue Ribbon. Finest beer served. Anywhere. Yes, during these late September days, you're just one of millions of men all over America to whom that Paps Blue Ribbon sign means welcome relief. For Paps Blue Ribbon, it does something more than quench your thirst. It gives you taste. Blue Ribbon taste. The kind of taste you can't get anywhere else in the world except in that Paps Blue Ribbon bottle. And, fortunately, you can get that Paps Blue Ribbon bottle all over the world. Yes, you hear it everywhere. In Elkhart and Elmira, in Easton or Evanston, Paps Blue Ribbon. Finest beer served. Anywhere. Your taste will tell you why. Now, back to the Screen Directors Playhouse production of Don't Trust Your Husband, starring Fred McCurray. Paula, Paula, where are you? Hey, Vince, what are you doing home so early? Where is she? Where's my wife? Oh, she's with Claude Kimball. But he isn't an actor. He's real. A real man is out with my wife. Well, really, Vince, that just isn't any reliable substitute. Besides, how do you know about the act? I'll never mind about that. This Kimball guy means business. Oh, you're telling me we found out this morning. But Paula can't go running around with another man. Why not? Because, well, that's the stupidest question I ever heard of. He certainly is handsome as me. The nerve of that Mississippi moose. And he's rich, too. Will you stop praising him and act like a sister? Well, why don't you act like a husband? For your information, I never felt more like a husband in my life. Good. And maybe you can forget your Mr. Frazier. Frazier? Frazier? Good lord, I did forget. We've got a date for lunch. Well, you're my brother, brother. So take it from Little Eve. You better stop playing around or you're going to lose Paula. And I'll find some way to get even with that tobacco Romeo. How? Well, I'll stop smoking cigarettes. Margot, the contract's all drawn up. All you have to do is sign. Then, darling, I don't want to sign. Not yet, anyway. But you're wrecking my marriage. Stop foaming in each lunch. I don't want to eat. Then tell me about my eyes. You used to adore my eyes. Margot, that was five years ago. I happen to be in love with my wife. And I'm going to lose her to another man because she thinks that you're a woman. Want to make some bed? She happens to... She happens to... Uh-oh. Benz, what is it? Over there. Paula and Kimball. I'm a dead duck. Hello, Benz. They're coming over. Death, where is thy sting? You heal. There it is now. Paula, darling, this is Mr. Fraser. Howdy, ma'am. You blue beard. Oh, now Paula, just because I didn't shave this morning. So this is the Mr. Fraser you've been carrying on with. My little sugar full. Mr. Kimball, would you please take your arm away from Little Sugar Puts waist? Vincent, don't I want a divorce. No, don't you don't fool me. I'm in a trucking home and sick in the morning. Mr. Fraser, I thought Paula Kimball was a man. I love you. I want a divorce, Vincent. A divorce. A divorce. A divorce, Eve. Paula wants a divorce. Can you blame her, Benz? I haven't done anything wrong. I'm completely innocent. Well, she's out in the living room with Claude. My advice to you is to make one last attempt. Tell her the truth. Well, Eve, I have been telling her the truth almost. My boy, there are two kinds of truth. The real truth and the woman's kind. Tell her the real truth and you're dead. Tell her the truth, she's certain of it. You've got nothing to worry about. You really think she'd forgive me? Certainly. Well, what about that moldy, mint jewel about there, that Kimball guy? Tell me. I kind of like him. How could he like a guy like that? Give him an inch and he takes a mile. All I did was give him permission to make love to my wife and look what's happened. You better get out there and make up some story about Margot Frazier. All right. All right, Eve, here I go. Well, Benz, we was just talking about you. I was just remarking what another jerk you are, dear. Well, maybe you're right, Paula. Paula, I've made a big mistake. I think so, too, Benz. Claude, I know this is very bold of me, but would you mind letting me have a few words alone with my wife? No, not at all. Thank you. You stay right here, Claude. Paula, I want to tell you the truth about Margot and me. I want to be clean again. Margot and I, well, I've been a fool. I admit it. And I know you'll be big enough to forgive me. There, I feel as though I've just taken a bath. I feel as if I'd like to hit you with a bathtub. I thought you'd be glad to hear the truth. Claude, hand me that vase. Yes, ma'am. No, no, no, Paula, I didn't mean it. There are two kinds of truth, Paula. Well, try this kind for size. No, no, Paula. Missed. Well, try this one. Well, Paula, that's bigger than the other one. What happened there? What happened? Big help you are. She went wild when I told her. Well, I never did know much about women myself. Well, you picked a fine time to let me know. Well, I'll go in there and see what I can do. Maybe I can convince her you were lying. I see if you can get that Alabama menace out of there. Well? Vinty boy. Margot. I thought I'd drop in for a minute. Well, drop right out again. My marriage is in the process of being retooled. Oh, Vinty, but I've been very unfair. I want to sign the contract. I don't care about the contract. You want to sign the contract? Yes, Vinty. Well, just a minute. The contract. The contract. Oh, here it is. Here. There you are, Margot. Just sign here. Here's the pen. There you are, Vinty. Margot, I could hug you. I'll go ahead now. Oh, and I will. Hey, not so hard. Vinty just told me that Vinty. Paula, if somebody will hand me a gun, I'll just blow my brains out. Ms. Frazier, would you mind stepping out of my husband's arms while I talk to him? Vint, why don't you let me go? I don't know. I think I'm paralyzed. For a minute, Vint, and he've had me convinced, but to bring this woman into our own home to display her openly like this. Oh, now wait a minute. Told me what you two have been up to behind my back. What do you mean, up to? I'll tell you exactly what he said. Uh, if you ladies would forgive me, I'll see you later. Uh, Vincent, I want to worry with you about your wife. No, you're still here. Listen, you son-kissed Georgia Peach. I'm going to toss you out of here and your son-kissed her. Uh, Vint. You stay out of this, Eve. Where do you get off? I'm going to carry on with my wife anyway. Now, Vinty. You said you didn't mind. That was because I thought you were getting paid for it. Oh, well, I couldn't accept money for a thing like that. You get out of here. Vint, I've been trying to tell you. Claude isn't interested in Paula. He isn't? No. You see, Vint, I've been told that Eve here is more my type. Yeah? Who told you? I did. Well, just get this venomous regimen out of the house. That's all I ask. Well, Vincent, don't. How dare you talk about him like that? Oh. Come on, Claude. Yes, little sugar poof. Marvelous. Vint, I just had a little talk with your wife. Well? Well, this is for bragging. Oh. Goodbye. Paula. I just had a little talk with Marvel Frasier. But Paula. This is for lying. Oh, and this is for being such a wonderful girl. Paula, please, not again. Don't again. Paula, you kissed me. Yes? Mrs. Jones. I'm Mrs. Jones. I'm from the Ted Burke Agency. I had a hard time tracking you down, but here I am, ready to make love to you. Do you want me to start right away? Pardon me, dear. And who are you, my good man? Just an amateur. Stick around and see what you can learn. Paula, come here. Watch this, my good man. Oh, Vincent. Wow. Just heard the last act that don't trust your husband. In a moment, our star, Fred McMurray, and screen director, Lloyd Bacon, will return to the microphone. The other day, a publicity writer said to me, Jimmy, what are you trying to do, wreck our business? All this talk you give out about Hollywood being a modest, home-loving town? Well, I'm only telling the truth. Most of the movie stars are just as normal as blueberry pie. Folks like you and me who enjoy such simple pleasures as sitting out in the backyard playing gin rummy, cooking hot dogs over a fire, and drinking cold bottles of perhaps blue-ribbon beer. Everything in perfect taste. Blue-ribbon taste. And it's that blue-ribbon taste that has made this internationally famous beer so popular here in Hollywood and all over America. As a radio announcer, I have a fairly wide acquaintance among the movie people. And I've observed perhaps blue-ribbon not only in the homes of the stars, but in the homes of movie writers, cameramen, directors, radio engineers, and, well, just about everybody I know. This seems to be unanimous agreement that perhaps blue-ribbon is the finest beer served anywhere. Your taste will tell you why. Next week, screen director's playhouse brings you a program in tribute to the late screen director, Mr. Sam Wood. Our story will be taken from one of his finest pictures, Pride of the Yankees, and our star will be Gary Cooper. Now, here again is tonight's star, Fred McMurray, and screen director, Lloyd Baker. Lloyd, you've been in the movie business a long time. Tell me, how did you get into the picture business in the first place? Well, Fred, years ago I was on the stage. And once I had a part in Oscar Wilde's play, Salome. Good role, Lloyd? Well, I'm friend for 450 nights. I had my head chopped off. Then I wanted the pictures. I thought you were ready, huh? Brother, with my experience, I could scream cut with the best directors in the business. Lloyd, how about giving the audience a demonstration? Like this, friend? Cut! That means the end of the scene. Good night, Lloyd. Good night, Fred. Good night, everyone. Thank you, Fred McMurray and screen director, Lloyd Baker. Friends, when you buy your weekend supply of beer tomorrow morning, ask your dealer to show you Pat's Blue Ribbon's new handy-six carton with a cleverly designed new easy-to-carry handle. It contains six regular-sized cans of Pat's Blue Ribbon. Finest beer served anywhere. Ask for the handy-six tomorrow. Don't Trust Your Husband was presented through the courtesy of James Nasser Productions, soon releasing Without Honors, starring Lorraine Day and Dana Clark. Fred McMurray will soon be seen in Borderline, co-starring with Claire Trevor. Lloyd Bacon is the director of the soon-to-be-released Columbia Pictures production, Miss Grant Takes Richmond, starring Lucille Ball and William Holden. Included in tonight's cast were Virginia Craig as Paula, Mary Ship, Betty Lou Gerson, Jack Edwards, Jane Avello, Hal Gerrard, Betty Moran, Herb Bygren, and Don Stanley. Don't Trust Your Husband was adapted for radio by Richard Allen Simmons, and original music was composed and conducted by Henry Russell. Screen director's Playhouse is produced by Howard Wiley with Dramatic Direction by Bill Karn. Listen again next week when Pat Blue Ribbon presents... Screen director's Playhouse, production, Pride of the Yankees, director Sam Wood, star Gary Cooper. Screen director's Playhouse is brought to you by the Pat Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, New York, New Jersey, and Peoria, Illinois, and sent your way with the best wishes of the Pat Blue Ribbon Dealers from coast to coast. James Wallington speaking. You're tuned for the stars on NBC.