 Honey your hair looks so thick and beautiful. What products do you use? Can I run my fingers through it? Please sir Yeah Last night my boyfriend came over for dinner and a movie And so I made a nice meal for us And we got our food went into the TV room to watch the movie and my roommate comes in So I'm like all right, that's fine. She can watch the movie with us so I grabbed the remote to put the movie on and My roommate ate all the food off my plate when I wasn't looking So I was like what the heck and then she sat on my boyfriend's lap Who does that? So now I have to confront her and have a talk with her, but I hate confrontation Here we go Hey, you need to have a talk Okay, all right Do you know what's worse than being left on opened and left on red? It's being left on delivered and left on Unopened for days like I know you're on your phone. Just open and read my messages Let me tell you about this man who handled rejection like a king day when I walk my dog I walk her past the paramedics station that I live right by and he waves high to me every single day I always wave back. Well, he finally came up to me and he was like, hey, you know what? I think you're gorgeous. I would love to take you out for dinner being polyamorous But poly saturated which is when someone who's polyamorous is at their limit for partners I said that is so kind and generous of you, but I'm not single. Do you know what this fucking said to me? He said No problem. I hope at the very least I made your day You you did make my entire Are you kidding me? Like this man honestly had me thinking like well, maybe I could fit in one more partner That was such boss energy I Know to sell those she's not my girlfriend No She goes why haven't you asked me out of here? I was like 2020 why haven't you asked me to your boyfriend? Why are you so fine, you know what I need to get dressed. I'm coming with you away from me I'm coming. I need to come with you. I can't let you be outside this fine by yourself without your Hey, you getting this off topic Couple more hours. We're gonna work, babe I'm so sick of you working out of town. Oh, I hate working out of town also. It's ridiculous I know right? I'm gonna miss you so much though. You know what? I'm gonna miss you My britches are soaked and we are 30 minutes away from the house. I cannot go in there like this And learn We can't go in their house right now It looks like I pissed on myself. This is not funny. I Mean it's kind of funny, but what am I supposed to do? What are they gonna think that you paid your price? What are they gonna think? I Just got a text for my ex Which one you know Oh my gosh, you think after five years of marriage, she'd stop texting you. What does he say happy Thanksgiving? Not exactly Tell me your turkey's already getting stuck Making dinner for my husband McDonald's has a McRib sandwich back and I went to go pick up a sandwich and The audacity McDonald's what the hell is this? Let's make our own sandwich We're gonna need a rack of spare ribs or baby bags We're going to take off the memory from the back Season our ribs mine came seasoned, but I still added some pepper onion powder and garlic powder I'm going to wrap it up in foil and put it in the oven at 300 degrees for three hours Once cool off, we're going to remove the bones It should be fall off the bone tender and add our favorite barbecue sauce put it back in the oven for 15 more minutes Or until the barbecue sauce caramelizes meanwhile, we're going to thinly slice some onion and pickles It should be about two ribs per roll. These are the rolls I use I'm gonna butter up my rolls and assemble my sandwich put my ribs my pickles and onions close up my sandwich and Tell me the sandwich is not better than McDonald's won't be a sandwich. You know, I was gotta split open my sandwich