 Six Tables of Monuggling Jack Benny's program presentation by Lucky Strike Feeling low Feeling tense These hate words are common sense Smokea Lucky To feed your level marker level best Smokea Lucky, because Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low calms you down when you're tense puts you on the right level to feel and do your level best That's what fine tobacco can do for you. And remember, L-S-M-F-T, L-S-M-F-T. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. So the next time you buy cigarettes, be sure to ask for the cigarette of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. For remember, Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low, calms you down when you're tense. Put you on the right level to feel and do your level best. Yes, smoke a lucky to feel your level best. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, The Sportsman Quartet, and yours truly, Don Wiltson. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Easter Sunday and in cities all over the country, people are Easter parading. Right now in Beverly Hills, Jack is getting ready for his stroll down Wiltshire Boulevard. At the moment, he's taking a shower and Rochester is laying out his clothes. Mr. Benny's been in that shower for a long time. It's funny the way the boss always puts on a bathing cap to keep his hair dry. Once it didn't work, he put on the bathing cap and then put his hair on top of it. He looked like a cantaloupe with sideburns. I better get his clothes out. Say, here's a suit he wore home from New York and I haven't sent it to the cleaners yet. I'll take it and, uh-oh, what's this book that fell out of his pocket? Well, it's Mr. Benny's diary. I wonder if I should read it. No, I better not. He sure got mad the last time I read it. Anyway, if Mr. Benny wanted me to know what he did in New York, he'd tell me. But he's been home over a week and he ain't told me, so here goes. Here's the first entry. A dozen sandwiches, that was all he took with him. All the sandwiches. The next entry is written as peanut butter. To use surgery, pull his ears back and tied them in a bow. Are he sure as dumb? Two days in New York and he ain't been to Harlem yet. April 6th, I sat on the right of his lovely wife, Barbara. Mrs. Paley is certainly a charming woman. I wonder what... Rochester, Rochester. Uh-oh, here he comes, I better hide the diary. Rochester, what are you doing? I was looking through this suit to see if it needed to be sent to the cleaners. Oh, well, while I finish dressing, look through the closet to see if there's anything else that needs cleaning. Yes, sir. This gray suit, boss. I don't know, how does it look to you? Well, it's got a gravy stain on the sleeve, salad dressing on the pants, butter on the cuff, coffee on the pal, and meat sauce all over the vest. It has? Yeah, should I send it to the cleaner or put it in the refrigerator? Send it to the cleaner. But first, Rochester, go through the pockets and make sure I didn't leave any money in it. Oh, boss, calm down. Mind just do it. Well, I'm all dressed, Rochester. How do I look? Fine, but you better put your glasses on. Oh, I'm not gonna wear my glasses. They make me look old. But you don't see too well without them. Rochester, I only need my glasses for reading. Now, let's see. I think I'll take a top coat with me in case I... I'll get it. Oh, hello, Phil. I'm Mary. Oh, happy Easter, Mary. Well, I'm ready to go walking if you are. I'm ready, Jack. But aren't you gonna say anything about my new dress? Let's see. Say, it's very pretty. But Mary, isn't it kind of daring? Well, no, this is the latest style. It's called a plunging neckline. Well, you better grab it fast, sister. It's getting away from you. Be silly, Jack. Punging necklines are the latest style. All the girls will be wearing them today. They will? Yes. Oh, Rochester, bring me my glasses. Come on, Mary, let's go to the Boulevard and stroll in the Easter parade. Gee, there are a lot of people on Wilshire Boulevard, aren't there, Mary? Yeah, and everybody's dress so nice. Well, so are you. See, that new hat you're wearing is really cute. Where'd you get it? The May Company. They give me all my clothes. The May Company gives you all your clothes? That's funny. You've been working for me for the past 15 years. I know. They send me food, too. Oh, well, that's nice of them, man. Jack, how far do you think we ought to walk? Oh, I don't know. Probably as far as La Brea. And then we'll. Jack, look who's coming this way. Isn't that one of the boys in your beavers club? Oh, yes. Hello, Joey. Hello, Mr. Benny. Hello, Miss Livingston. Hello, Joey. See, that's a mighty cute rabbit you have there. Yeah, it's my Easter bunny. I'm taking him over to Mr. Benny's house to feed him. To my house to feed him? Why? My father says you got more lettuce than anyone in Beverly Hills. Did you just get this rabbit, Joey? For Easter. In fact, I had two of them. Come on, Mary, let's go. In a minute, Jack. What happened to your other rabbit, Joey? I don't know. He just disappeared around Christmas time. Mary, let's go. When did your other rabbit disappear? It was December 23rd. Well, thanks for telling me. Goodbye, Joey. Goodbye, Miss Livingston. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye, goodbye. You know, Mary. Oh, quiet. You and your mink Christmas presents. That was just a coincidence. I happen to get a mink with pink eyes, that's all. You know, Mary, but strolling along the boulevard today reminds me of that picture we saw with Fred Astaire and Judy Garland. You mean Easter parade? Yeah, that's the one. Remember at the start of the picture when Fred Astaire was walking along Fifth Avenue singing that song and the people all answered him? How did that song go again? Oh, yes. I remember it now. Never saw such a lovely day happy stir. Happy stir. It's such fun just to nod and say happy stir. Happy stir. My, oh, me, there's so much to see as you stroll the avenue. And you greet all the friends you meet. Happy stir to you. Isn't that nice, Mary? They all answered us just like in the picture. Gee, I'll never forget how, hey, Mary. Hey, Mary, look. Look. Huh? Look, stepping up on the curb. Get a load of those legs. Who is it? The conductor on the super chain. Now, come on, Mary. We've got to keep up with the crowd, you know. I want to walk all the way down to La Brea. Say, Jack, look. There's Phil Harris standing on the corner. Oh, yes. Hello, Phil. How you living, you little Easter Bunny? Who's that egg you got with you? I forgot to take off my bathing cap. Say, Phil, Mary and I are strolling down Wilshire. Want to join us? No, no, Jackson. The Chamber of Commerce wants me to stand here till another bus comes by. Another bus? Yeah, I'm the grand finale of the 95 cent tour. Them out-of-towners go nuts. Brother. Aren't you a little conceited? Nah, conceit is when you think you got it and you ain't. And of course, Phil, you've got it. $16 silver dollars in the box of snickers to that gray-haired gentleman with a button shoe. Mary, you talk to him. I can't. Look, Phil, Jack and I are going for a walk. Do you want to join us or not? Oh, I'd love to live. But when I finish here, I've got to go home and take my uncle to the train. I didn't know you had an uncle here. Yeah, Rife Tuesday on business. Came out here for the eclipse. Oh, is he an astronomer? No, a pickpocket. Oh, Jackson, when will you learn to still those quivering lips? Come on, Mary, let's go. All right. So long, Phil. So long, Libby, you dove. See you later. Come on, Mary. Hey, Jackson. What? Don't feel bad. You've got the bluest eyes on Wilshire Boulevard. I know. Phil, come on, Mary. You know, Mary filled kids a lot, but underneath it all, he's really a nice guy. Oh, stop fluttering your eyelashes. Jealous. Now, come on, doll face. We've got a long way to walk yet. Walking with you side by side, happy Easter. Happy Easter. Fills my chest with so much pride. Happy Easter. Happy Easter. My, oh, me, there's so much to see as you stroll the avenue. And you greet all the friends you meet. Happy Easter to you. And bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. This young is Fred Astaire. Oh, he's 38. Perfect weather. Spring, the skies are clear. The flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. Well, look who's here. Bonjour, Michel Benis. Professor Leblanc, what a surprise running into you. Hello, professor. Bonjour, mademoiselle. Professor, you certainly look nice today. Is that a new Easter suit you're wearing? Mademoiselle, I am a poor violin teacher. I cannot afford to buy new suits. Well, what do you do with the money? I pay you for my violin lessons. I buy sleeping pills. Oh, are they any good? No. After a few days, I wake up. Well, it was nice seeing you, professor. And don't forget, you're giving me a violin lesson next week. I will not forget. I will tie a string around my finger. Good, good. Better I should tie a rope around my neck. What? Goodbye, Michel Benis. You're welcome. I can't understand why he hates to give me violin lessons. I can't understand it either. You played beautifully. Well, I, huh? See, Mary, that was sweet. What made you say that? I don't know. Just a nimp pulse. Yesterday, I kicked a cop in the pants. Well, sometimes you have to let yourself go. Hey, Mary, we're certainly running into a lot of people we know, aren't we? Yeah. Da-da-dum-bum-bum-bum-bum, happy stir. Happy stir. Yeah, ba-bum-bum, you doll face happy stir. Happy stir. My, oh, me, there's so much to see there's a storey avenue. And do greet all the friends you meet, happy stir to you. Say, gochers. What is it, Mabel? Elegant walking in the Easter parade. How do you feel? My feet are killing me. But it's my own fault for buying such small shoes. Well, what size did you get? Nine. For heaven's sakes. What's the matter? Getting your footing to a size nine shoe is like darkened the Queen Mary in a Dixie cup. Talk and get a load of your shoes. They're not so big. They're not. Last year, when we went on our vacation, every hotel we stopped at pasted labels on them. Well, it's a natural mistake because my shoes are genuine cow hides. Cow hide, yeah. From the way your toes stick out, it looks like milk and thyme. And look who's with them, Mary Livingston. She didn't have to put on ears with me. I remember when she and I worked at the May Company. Oh, did you used to run into her? Very seldom. I was a night watchman. Look, Mabel, they're coming toward us. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, happy Easter. Happy Easter. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, happy Easter. Happy Easter. My old me, there's so much to see as you stroll the avenue. All the friends you meet. Happy Easter to you. Well, Don, Don Wilson. Don, and you'll be happy you know how popular you are. Everybody I ran into was asking about you. Oh, really, Jack? Well, what'd they want to know? Well, they want to know different things like what you eat for breakfast, what you eat for lunch, what you eat for dinner, what you have for dessert, what you have after dessert, what you eat between meals, what you eat before going to bed at night. All those different things. Well, that's nice, Jack. But didn't they want to know anything about me on your program? Let's see. Yes, yes, they did, Don. They thought that my last couple of programs weren't quite as funny as usual. They want to know if you ate one of my writers. Oh, Jack, I know you're kidding, but I wish you'd stop with that talk. It gives everybody the impression I'm fat. All right, Don, I'll stop joking about your size. Say, Don, would you like to walk down Wilshire Boulevard with us? Oh, I'd love to, Murray, but I'm on the other side of the street. Oh, yes, yes. Lift your stomach, Don. Here comes a bus. Anyway, I'll see you later. Come on, Murray. Da-da-dum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Say, Murray, have you got a cigarette? Oh, sure, Jack. I have some right here in my... Oh, gee, I forgot to put them in this purse. Well, there's a drugstore right here on the corner. I'll step in and get some. A feeling, love, a feeling, tinge. Are these eight words to make a common sense? This is milk and lucky. Simone. Oh, oh, Mr. Mr. Yeah. I'd like to buy some... Magazine. No. Sunglasses. No, no. I'd like to buy some... Lifesavers. No, no, but as long as you're guessing and want to play games, I'll give you a hint. Now, what do you do to feel your level best? I loosen my girdle. What do you do? Well, if you must know, I smoke a lucky. Well, why didn't you say so? You want a package of lucky strike. That's exactly what I want. Here you are. Thank you. Here's your money. Goodbye. Happy Easter. Happy Easter. Jack, did you get your cigarettes? Yes, yes. Come on, Mary, let's keep on walking. Never saw such a lovely day, happy Easter. Happy Easter. It's such fun just to nod and say happy Easter. Happy Easter. My old me, there's so much to see as you stroll the avenue. And you greet all the friends you meet. Happy Easter to you. Wow, Missile, it's nice running into you today. Oh, thank you, Mr. Benny. And how are you, Miss Livingstone? Oh, I'm fine, thank you. Mr. Kitzel, you certainly look nice in those striped pants, cutaway coat and top hat. It's just... Yes, sir, it's just right for Easter. Oh, thank you. But I'm also wearing it for sentimental reasons. This is the suit in what I got married. Really? Yeah, I'll never forget this ceremony. It was beautiful. When the preacher asked for the ring, my wife handed it to him. And then... Wait a minute, how come your wife had the ring? We weren't even married and she went through my pockets already. Oh, I see. Well, Mr. Kitzel, it was a pleasure running into you on Easter, but we've got to be moving along. Well, I got to run along, too. This afternoon, I'm having an egg roll. An egg roll on your front lawn? No, in a Chinese restaurant. You know, Mary, it's always nice running into Mr. Kitzel. I don't know, he always seems so cheerful. Hey, bud. Come here a minute. Excuse me, Mary. Yes? What are you doing? We're just strolling along in the Easter parade. How far are you going? To La Brea. That's fine. What? You said you were going to La Brea and I said that's fine. Wait a minute. Aren't you going to try to talk me out of it? Not me, this is my day off. Happy Easter. Same to you, same to you. Nothing, it's all right. We can go to La Brea. Come on. First saw such a lovely day, happy Easter. It's such fun just to nod and say happy Easter. You greet all the friends you meet. Happy Easter to you. Dana, did you see it? Did you have an ice Easter? Oh, sure. I call it Easter eggs all morning and then I hid them. And then I told my mother to go look for them. That must have been fun. You know, it was a mess. The eggs splattered all over the walls, the ceiling, and my mother's new dress. But, Dana, where did you hide the eggs? In the Mixmaster. In the Mixmaster? Yeah, it was awful. But, Dana, colored eggs shouldn't splatter. How long did you boil them? Yeah, would you like to join us? Oh, sure, I'm not stuck up. Oh, that's nice of you. That's sweet of you, kid. Come on, kid. Could you walk a little faster, Mr. Benny? I got to get home and take my uncle to the train. Sure, we can. Your uncle? Yeah, he's here on business. He came Tuesday for the eclipse. Is he? Mary, Mary, let me take this one. What did you say your uncle came here for, Dana? He came here for the eclipse. Yeah, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. He came for the eclipse, eh? I know, Dennis, he's a pickpocket. No, he's a photographer, and he hasn't got a dark room. Well, gee, do you think it'd be all right here on the street? Well, sure, everybody feels good today. They're all singing. Yeah, they all watch it. OK. Strike means fine tobacco. It's not surprising that luckies are the overwhelming choice of the tobacco experts. Men who can see the makers of lucky strike consistently select and buy that lucky strike means fine tobacco. And this fine, lucky strike tobacco picks you up when you're low, calms you down when you're tense. Put you on the right level, the lucky level, where you feel your best and do your best. So the next time you buy cigarettes, a-