 Okay. So we said, okay, we need to discuss. We need to hear each other. We know that that's a difficult step in order to resolve conflict, but it's a necessary step. Right. So let me just share this. Okay. So it's something that needs to be done. So lovingly discuss. And, you know, it's easy for us to discuss good things. It's easy for us to discuss happy things. But when we hear someone say, okay, you know, here are some things that happened and because of which, you know, you fought and when somebody points out, speaking the truth in love and saying, okay, this is where you went wrong. It's not easy for us to take. It's not easy for us to receive it. Right. So, but it needs to be done. Okay. One of the things that really help help in this discussion. Okay, one of the things that really help us is this is the kind of statements that we can use to share what went wrong. Okay. Now, suppose, like, let's say the husband and wife wanted to go to church on time. Okay, now this is what normally happens. So they wanted to reach church on time. The church service was at, let's say, nine o'clock nine a.m. And something happened, and they went late. So they went, they reached by 930. And yeah, so so that is that cost a conflict. So what happened was they started late from the house. So as they were going, both of them were hurling in cells at each other. This is what you did. This is why we are late. And the other person was saying, you are always late. You always do this. Remember last time also you said that so all the while they are fighting, and then they go to church and then they are not even looking at each other. And on top of that, that this sermon was about forgiveness and the whole thing of unforgiveness. And so, you know, they are very condemned, very convicted. So all this happened, right? So, let's say they are trying to solve, they're trying to resolve this and sitting down and talking. So what would be the best way to communicate what happened? Okay, maybe it was the fault of the husband who woke up late. Okay, and maybe the clothes were not ironed. The wife's clothes were not ironed. And they started ironing it only in the morning. Okay, so that also contributed to it. And, well, you know, so many other things, right? All these small details. So what would be the best way to communicate that to each other? You know, you're speaking the truth in love and you need to share this. Because this needs to be sorted, this needs to be spoken. So the best way to share this is to use these I statements. Okay, so to say that I felt hurt or I got upset. I got upset when I saw you ironing your clothes in the morning. Because I've seen I've told you some 10 times earlier, you know, that's not the correct way to do it. I've, you know, we discussed it in the past that that should not be the case that we need to, you know, get everything ready the previous But I got upset. Okay, so if one person says I got upset rather than saying, you know, you're always doing this, you know, you make me angry or you make me upset. You know, the thing is that the same truth. Okay, what is the fact one person got upset. And that person who got upset is telling the other person that I got upset. Right, is communicating that and what caused that person to be upset. It was because that person did not get ready and was ironing the clothes at in the morning. Okay, but when you say it this way, you know, I got upset. I was angry. I was upset. I was disappointed when I saw you ironing your clothes in the morning, instead of getting ready the previous evening itself, getting them ready the previous evening itself. And the fact that it delayed us. And because of which we went late, I was upset. I was angry. And I'm sorry. Right, the other way to say it is, you make me angry. Every time you iron your clothes in the morning, instead of getting it done the previous evening, you made me angry. You made me upset. You delayed us. Right. The difference is the same thing. The facts are the same. But when you say when you make these I statements, you are deflecting, you're changing the direction of focus. Right. Instead of blame, it is like you're objectively stating how you were feeling, how you felt because of the situation. Okay, so same thing is communicated. But here, you're just communicating how you felt, and you're not making a judgment on the other person. Okay, so then it helps the other person to again, you know, reevaluate what they were saying, what they did, and come to a place saying, yeah, I know. I'm sorry I did that. Well, now it's the turn of the other person. I felt hurt when you constantly criticized me and when you constantly blame me. I felt hurt. And you were shouting when you I felt hurt when you shouted at me in front of all the others. You know, the neighbors could hear you as we get into the car or as we got on the bike, the neighbors could hear. In fact, the children were watching from the balcony and you didn't, you know, when I felt hurt, I felt ashamed by what you said in public. Right. So, in this way, we begin to share and we begin to, okay, come to a place of saying, okay, now what do I do? How can we avoid this? How can we, how can we resolve this? Okay, so, so you come up with some solutions. Okay, let's, okay, I'll, it's something that works. Okay, let's get ready. I'll, okay, I'll choose to get ready. On the previous day, you come up with something and follow through with it. Right. So that's something that, okay, it's not just an idea, but it's something that you decide to implement, carry out that idea, implement. Right. So, so all this is done in an environment of goodwill and peace, which is something for us to learn. Okay. Because all through, whenever we've had conflicts, we've probably just let loose. Right. We just let loose without, you know, bearing in mind consequences. It's okay. Just let loose. Just forget about it. We'll deal with it later. Now, right now, the other person needs to know how I'm feeling. And I'm just going to know, I'm not going to hold back. I'm just going to give it to them. Right. So maybe that's how we have learned. Okay, conflict, trigger, anger. This is it. This is the learned behavior. This is how I saw my parents do it. My parents were yelling at each other, arguing with each other. So the kid learns, the child learns and we learn. Okay, this is how I should respond. The slightest trigger as the slightest thing that people are not getting ready or people are not doing what I want them to do. I'm going to, you know, just yell out at them. I'm going to talk down at them. I'm going to blame them. I'm going to make fun of them. You know, maybe that's how we've learned it all this while. We need to unlearn those things. We need to learn not to put down the person. We need to learn, you know, not to be sarcastic. Sometimes we do that in public, you know, in front of maybe guests or in front of others, you know, just to make those sarcastic jokes. The other person is not laughing. It's not funny anymore, right? When the person is not laughing with you, but you are actually laughing at them. It's not funny anymore, right? One person is feeling bad and the other person is just going at it. So we need to, you know, discuss it, and this needs to be done in an environment of Shalom or peace, you know, resolving it in peace. Now, like we said, when we choose to resolve in peace, the Lord Jesus is backing up that person. Blessed are the peacemakers. You know, making an attempt, you may not be perfect, but you're making an attempt and your intent is very clear that you want to make peace, right? You want to come to a place of agreement. You know, sometimes we would need to let go. We would need to, you know, just like what the Lord would have done, you need to forgive and let go, right? And there are those times when we need to do that. And this pride comes in the way, right? And there are times when you're thinking, you know, how many times do I need to let go? I'm the one, even the last time, you know, I was the one who was doing this. I was the one who backed off, how many times, right? Well, when you know that the Lord is applauding, you know that the Lord is backing you up in this, right? You can just go ahead and do that. Okay. Well, the Lord will deal with the other person. You can be sure of that. The Lord will deal with his spouse, because you're saying, okay, you know, the spouse is also in a place of receiving, in a place of wanting to, you know, be Christ-like. And maybe, you know, it's not as mature as you are. It's not as patient as you are. But you can be assured that the Lord will deal. You can be assured that the Lord is reaching out. The Lord is changing, pulling on their hearts and making their hearts soft and tender. So you can be assured of that. But it's very important that we do the right thing. We want to choose to do the right thing in that, you know, in that whole conflict or resolving the conflict that you choose irrespective of what the other person's response is. Now, that's a difficult thing, right? So irrespective of it. You want, you need to want to do that. You desire to do the right thing. So we looked at five steps so far, right? The next thing is to forgive. To receive forgiveness and to give forgiveness. Both are important. Okay, to forgive. To forgive, when we forgive, we are not saying that many times we find it difficult to forgive because we think that it is, you know, how should I put it? Because we think that, okay, we are actually not, we are condoning what the other person did. Okay, we're just brushing out whatever that person caused, that hurt that they caused. You know, when we say forgiving, I forgive you. We're saying, okay, all that hurt that you did to me, all that you, you know, the way in which you hurt me doesn't matter. Well, it's not that. Forgiveness is not that. Forgiveness is acknowledging, yes, this is what, this is not denial. So many times we find it difficult to forgive. How can I forgive? How can I say that all this didn't happen? It's not denial. We're saying all this happened. Well, the person is guilty. The person is guilty of saying this person is guilty of doing all this. And yet, I'm choosing not to be, not to take revenge. I'm choosing to forgive. So what is the standard of forgiveness? We see in Ephesians 4 and verse 32, standard of forgiveness. Okay, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Okay, so that's Ephesians 4, verse 32. We see that even as God in Christ forgave, so that is a standard for forgiveness. So if Scripture gives us a standard, not just forgiveness, but any aspect of life, okay, this is how you ought to live. We can be sure that the Spirit of God will equip and empower us to do it. Because there's no point, you know, if this is not possible, if it's not possible to live in this manner, then the Bible has no right to dictate to us or instruct us and say, okay, you live in this manner. The Lord would not do it. The very fact that the Lord gives an instruction, it's because it is possible. It is possible as He empowers us by His Spirit. It is possible as we cooperate with Him. It is possible. So this is the standard for forgiveness, saying, how God in Christ forgave. So when you look at it, it seems like, wow, how did He forgive? He forgave unconditionally, He forgave. You know, not looking at my response or not looking at my reaction, He just forgave. So that's how, that is what is expected. And He forgave repeatedly. So that is what is again expected. So if I have that posture, then I can forgive, you know, God, you forgive me. So I'm willing to forgive. You know, sometimes the person's act has got so much trauma. It could be violence. It could be domestic violence. It could be, you know, maybe violence, verbal violence, like verbal abuse. It could be physical abuse. It could be sexual abuse. Now, in such cases when there's, when the conflict is very, very intense and it's so difficult, it's good to get someone to intermediate, you know, maybe a counselor, maybe a counselor, maybe a pastor, maybe a believer who's unbiased to help navigate this whole process. Because the hurt is too deep. And also maybe it has been something of a repeated thing that has happened over years. This total breakdown of trust, right? So in order to come to that place of forgiveness, you need someone to help, right, individually and also to facilitate that forgiveness, maybe, you know, as a couple as well. Right. So it's okay to get help. It's okay. It's not a stigma. Maybe in some cultures we feel that, oh, it's a stigma. How can I talk about, you know, these things that have happened to me? It's a shame. You know, I'm ashamed to even speak of that. You know, how can I even do that? But the fact is that as long as we keep it, you know, stuffed in and we are not really receiving healing, we need to be able to talk about it, right? There's no stigma. There's no shame if we want to receive help. There's no stigma in reaching out to get help. In fact, it is a brave thing to do. It is a courageous thing to do to reach out and get help. So here we're saying, okay, to receive or to extend forgiveness. What are we doing? We are accepting. We are being specific. We are accepting what we could have done wrong. We acknowledge our wrongdoing and we apologize specifically for what we did wrong. Sometimes, and it really helps. Rather than saying, I'm sorry for all that I did. You know, in a blanket statement, I'm sorry for all that I did. I'm sorry for all that I said. Well, it's good, but it's good to specify. You know, I know I should not have said that. I'm sorry. I know I should not have done that. I'm really, you know, please forgive me. It's good to, it's good to be specific. And it really helped in the healing process. It will help the resolving of the conflict to be specific and to say that. And to actually, you know, it's a difficult thing because you're owning up. So it's good to, you know, look at the person and face the person and say that. And maybe, you know, maybe not at that place yet to face the person and say it. Maybe you're writing a letter or a note would help to start, sorry, to start off. Okay. I'm sorry I did and I'm willing to change. I, you know, I will not give an assurance I will not do this again. So can you please forgive me? Can you please forgive? So the thing is this that, you know, one thing is to ask for forgiveness. The other thing is if someone asks us for forgiveness, right? So are you willing to forgive, extend forgiveness? You know, both are important. One is to ask for forgiveness and receive forgiveness. And if the other person asks for forgiveness from you, are you willing to extend that forgiveness? The other person is saying, I'm sorry. You know, sometimes we, well, it needs to be, it's need to be said in all sincerity. It should not be, you know, done in a very superficial manner, trivial manner. But we are not quick to forgive, right? We want to take our time. We want to, okay, I want to see some, I want to see some repentance, you know, on their face. I want to see some tears. They're too happy. How can I forgive? Right? But the thing is forgiveness is a decision, right? Extending forgiveness is a decision. And this is what we see. Sometimes, you know, it's because it's so deep, we are not unable to forgive. But this is the promise that if we are willing, okay, we can actually come to that place and say, Lord, I'm willing. And as we come to that place of willingness, the Lord gives us the ability. Sometimes we don't even feel those emotions. You don't emotionally feel like forgiving because it's been so traumatic. What we've been through is very, very traumatic, very hurtful. So if we come to a place of saying, Lord, I'm willing, right? You make that decision and saying, okay, God, I'm willing to forgive. I'm not able to, but I'm willing. Two different things, right? One is the will, the decision. The other one is the ability. And you're saying, God, I'm willing, God. Yeah, I can, I'm willing, but I'm not able. I don't feel it, God. I'm not able to. The Lord understands. So if we are willing, the Lord gives us the ability to do it. You know, very interesting verse, right? Philippians 2 and verse 13. Philippians 2, maybe you can just read verses 12 and 13. Philippians 2. Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Verse 13. For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for his good pleasure. Right? God who works in you both to will and to do. So both to come to the place of willingness. Well, God works in us and we saw how we can prepare our hearts, spend time in his presence, you know, receive his love, receive his enabling. So it's God who works in us both to will and to do the implementation, the action part of it. Right? The decision and the action. God actually works in us. The Holy Spirit works in us. Right? So you see that, you know, in marriage, you see the part that we want God, we need God. We can't just do it by ourselves. He designed marriage. He designed it. So we need the designer. We need the creator to be part of our lives. Right? Okay. So both to will and to do for his good pleasure. Right? So we release forgiveness, we extend forgiveness. And the last step is to release a blessing. Now this is even more. Again, it's going to draw out a lot more. You're saying good things about them now. Lord, bless them. Lord, prosper them. Right? God, you know, it's not this, I forgive. It is to extend forgiveness. Yes. But it's also to release a blessing. Right? Well, in the gospels, we see the Lord Jesus saying, bless those who, I mean, bless those who curse you. Pray for those who persecute you. Bless those who curse. So it's a blessing. You're releasing. You're releasing the, just think about it. You've come to that place of extending the same forgiveness. Now you're blessing each other. And I remember we had this in one of the workshops. And we just spent some time, of course, it was not about resolving conflicts or anything, but we just did this exercise where people would come and speak blessing. Okay. You're just sitting there and maybe there are 10 others who are surrounding you and each person takes turn to speak blessings over you. Okay. Reminding you about who you are in Christ. Right? Speaking words of affirmation from the scriptures and just blessing. It is very powerful because it's the word of God. And the thing is, you know, we were all, we all spent some time just hearing from God, hearing what God would say, would want us to say to this person. And then, you know, from the word we just, just declaring scripture, declaring blessing. And it's very powerful. Very powerful, right? Ephesians 4 talks about how when we speak edifying words, there's an impartation of grace. There's an impartation of grace, which means there is an enabling, there's a enabling power because of the grace of God. So when you release, when you speak a blessing, there is that impartation of grace in their lives. So it really seals the entire process. Okay. So we looked at seven steps. You saw that, you know, you are speaking a blessing. You are, well, we are, we are choosing to, you know, even though we might be reminded during that whole process, we might be reminded of certain things which causes us to become angry, maybe you're looking at that person, you're seeing the expression of the person and you're thinking, okay, I know I need to, you know, you're reminded of maybe taking revenge or not doing things from your heart and all that, but you're choosing to stick to, you know, the process of resolving and knowing that, you know, this will result in both of you coming to a place of agreement. Now, again, just want to remind us about that verse. You know, we saw in, was it 1 Peter, chapter 3, it is to come to a place of understanding. Husbands likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. What is the result? That your prayers may not be hindered. Okay. So you're coming to that place of agreement. And the Lord Jesus also said, you know, if two of you agree towards symphony, meaning coming to that place of agreement and praying and asking, touching anything that you ask, it will be done. So this conflicts, these conflicts prevent us from coming to a place of agreement, right? So our prayers are hindered. We're not able to pray effectively and we're not able to do much as a couple. And this whole thing is interfering with the communication, interfering with the peace in the house and all that. So God really wants us to come to the place of agreement, dwell with understanding, right? So we are refusing to be divided. We're refusing to let the enemy divide, but come to a place of solving conflict and releasing a blessing. Okay. So, well, okay, that's what we looked at. All the matter in peace, give the last three, you know, give and receive forgiveness and release blessing. So we pray and prepare. We receive God's empowering to love and forgive and receive God's wisdom to address the situation. So the first three are what we do on our own personally. Then we address the matter. We discuss it with the other person. We are speaking the truth in love. We are making those I statements. We're saying, okay, I felt this way or I experienced this when you said it or when you did this. It was upset when this happened, right? And we are choosing to resolve in an atmosphere of peace and goodwill. So we're thinking of options. We're thinking of ideas. Maybe we are brainstorming things and saying, how can we solve this problem? And how can we move forward? What should we avoid and all that? And all the way you're saying, okay, I'll do this. I will do this. And then you're receiving forgiveness. You're giving forgiveness, extending forgiveness, keeping in mind that, yes, the standard for forgiveness is how God and Christ forgave me. That is the standard. And then what will we receive forgiveness? But also we extend forgiveness to others, to our spouse, and we don't stop there. We choose to release a blessing upon their lives. So we do that. And then we resolve, we resolve, okay. So any questions here, based on maybe your own experience of resolving a conflict, maybe there could be some challenges. Maybe you're saying, okay, this is, sounds good in theory, but practically does it really work? So any questions? Where do you think the challenges are? Maybe some things that you need to work on? Or maybe you felt that, okay, this is not working. Maybe we could talk about that. Any questions? Anything from your own lives personally? Maybe if you're a single person, you could talk about maybe how you tried resolving a conflict generally with another person, and what worked, what didn't work. And if you're a married person, you could just talk from experience, share from experience, or based on your experience, maybe you have some questions, what worked, what didn't work, how can things be better? So yeah. Any questions, anything that you want to share? Go through all these seven steps. Anybody who tried it before? And maybe all these seven steps, maybe you did it in some order, in some measure, and you felt that, okay, somewhere something didn't happen, or maybe it was a great success, you could share about that as well. Anyone? There was a conflict between better, and for the first few weeks, we didn't just talk about it, and I thought it'll just go away, if we just don't talk about it, it'll just go away, and it'll all be alright. I think it was before I came to Balakalach. So I was actually packing for Bangalore, and I just made him busy working so that we just didn't talk about it. I was just telling him, we packed this, get this, but there was a little disturbance over the conversations, even when we were talking. Something was not right, something was not good. So I think before I came here, we should speak at night, after every month. We just got together, and I told him, whatever I said, I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry. I'm also sorry, it was good, because I was about to move, so I don't want to leave with such conflict, from home. He's also about to move, so we just sorted things out, and I think I wrote a big letter to him, and I also gave him some gifts. So that was good. After that, I think it's good. Right, wonderful. So the thing is, now you took the initiative, so that's a big thing. In a sense, it's a courageous thing to do. You felt trouble in your spirit, and you took the initiative. You said, okay, I can't leave this undone, I need to address it, I need to do this. Now that's a big step. Many of us, we feel that something needs to be done, but okay, I'm going to wait for him. I'm going to wait for her to actually take the step. So that's where we sometimes just miss those opportunities, and then it just gets over. Time just goes by, without reconciling, things could actually become worse, worse off. So the thing is, to take that big step, I think that's a great, that's a good takeaway from this whole thing. You took the initiative, and so did you feel a little uncomfortable, in a sense, a little weird, a little uncomfortable, just to talk about those things, or was it okay for you? Yeah, I think I took time, actually, one week. I wanted to solve the whole thing, but then I'll go to the room, and I think I'll speak about it, and then I'll come back, not speaking about it, I'll just speak about something, and then I'll come back. He was also not showing any expressions, he was also acting so alright, and I was like, okay, maybe he's alright, maybe I'm not like, he's alright, but then I spoke, I came to know that, you were also not alright, he was also having that feeling inside, and I spoke, it was not easy, it was not at all easy, because I think the conflict hurted both of us, we also want to be healed on the inside first, before speaking about it, I can't just go and shout at him, he was also hurted, he was also hurted, so I can't just go, why, how can you do this to me, I can't ask in that first week, maybe I would have just shouted, I think, because how can you ask these questions to me or something, but I took some time to be healed, to understand what is his perspective, why he said all of those things to me, and then I finally came, okay, this is his perspective, so he did it for my good, he thought about all of these things, and I told him what I thought at that time also, I also told him why I was hurted, why those things were hurting to me, why he didn't understand my perspective, so I also told that this is my perspective, this is the whole thing, and you talked on this side, but somehow it's all okay. Yeah, so that's the thing, see it doesn't, so that's another thing to keep in mind, that it's okay to feel a little uncomfortable, it's okay to feel a little weird, we might know the person well, we might not know the person well, but then it's going to feel a little uncomfortable to be able to do this, so as we take the initiative, as we want to do this, to expect that, so you know that okay, this is how it's going to be, but then it's okay, I need to do it, right? So the thing is that, when we consider God's perspective, God is for, the Lord is for peace, the Lord is for reconciliation, and we see it in so many ways, in terms of forgiveness, in terms of the Lord blessing the peacemaker, and calling them sons of God, so he's for reconciliation, he's for the resolving of conflict, okay? Now, so one beautiful thing happens when it comes to resolving of conflict is that the bond becomes even stronger, okay? So we're talking about husband and wife, and the relationship becomes even stronger than before, right? Because simply because it's in God's perspective and God's eyes, that's his will, when you work out his will, then you're in the will of God, you're in the plan and purpose of God, then there is God releasing his blessing upon it, so it becomes even stronger than before, and it's amazing how things can turn out, how the marriage can improve, how the marriage relationship can improve, how the communication can improve, and so on. But here's the thing, you know, one last thing before we close this chapter is that we need to resolve to keep strife out of our life, okay? So what is strife? You know, strife is intense quarreling, strife is intense, like fighting maybe. So we need to make a decision, okay, to the best of my ability, right? I need to keep strife out. You know it. You know, in your conversations, in your, you know, in your actions, everything, you know it, okay, there. Oh, this is a possibility. Now, the dam is going to break if I, you know, if we are going to pursue in this manner, we're going to keep talking in this manner. Well, that's it. The dam's going to break, there's going to be a flood of waters and it's going to be, we are going to be overwhelmed. You know, it's going to sweep us, all that has been built, you know, over these days and over these months, it's going to break down, right? You know that. And in fact, God actually wants, as he gives you a check on the inside, you know that. Okay, I should not pursue in this. So this thing is to put a pause, right? And say, okay, let's not go any further with this. Let's just be quiet and say, okay. So that is what we see, you know, even in the scriptures that we read today from Proverbs 25, we see that, well, the word fitly spoken, or by long for parents, a gentle tongue, well, this is going to change the whole scenario. It's going to change the equation. It's going to change the atmosphere, right? It's going to do something in the relationship. So yeah, so the thing is to pause, to take a step back and not proceed further in the same manner, right? So quarreling, contention, strife, it's going to affect everything in the home. Just understand that. It doesn't affect children. We think, okay, when we have quarrels, I don't remember, like when my parents used to quarrel, well, it affected me. For some reason, you know, there was a lot of unpleasantness and I just wished that, okay, things would just get better. I just wish the things were that they would not quarrel, that they would not be angry. And sometimes I would feel guilty saying, though it was not a fault of mine, maybe I should do something to stop. I felt powerless to stop. I was not able to stop. And sometimes, you know, I used to feel guilty. I think maybe it's my fault. Because as a child, you know, you're not mature enough. And you're processing things differently and you're seeing and these things happen and it's kind of affecting you as well emotionally. So you think about that. Think about all that. You actually do not stand to gain when there's constant strife and quarrel and arguments in the house. It changes the whole atmosphere. Scripture says that in the tense of the righteous, there is a voice of rejoicing. Well, that's not there anymore. It talks about, you know, how the Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Now, that is not an automatic thing. It means that we need to cooperate with the Holy Spirit in releasing, in cooperating with Him, to have His Kingdom, to have His rule and reign in our homes. So strife is the opposite of that. Strife breaks down everything and strife is the weapon of the enemy. And the enemy creeps in very subtly to create a strife, to create disruption, to create disagreements. And we know the plan of the enemy, John 10 and verse 10, very clear, it is to steal and kill and destroy. It is to steal, the peace of mind is to steal the joy that God wants us as believers in a righteous home, in a righteous marriage, to enjoy and to destroy, to kill and to destroy. Destroy the very marriage itself. So that is Saviour's plan. And the Lord has come that we might have life and life in its fullness. So when we choose to keep strife out, now do we need to do it in the right manner? Just because we need to keep strife out, you cannot live in denial. Like if somebody is just abusing, if somebody is doing something, just because you don't want to, just set that right, you're going to live in denial. If you're going to just brush things off, that's not going to help. We need to address, we need to confront, but even it's done in a loving manner. Okay, so we'll stop here. Now there could be several questions in the sense I know, what if one person is all, one person is all in and wants to solve and the other person is unwilling, totally unwilling? What do I do? I'm all for resolving, but the other person is not. So obviously it needs a lot more from us, a lot more from you. One who understands that, well, God wants this. And so for both the husband and the wife to have the same, I mean the same goal or the same vision and saying this is what we want, it's very important. It's very important for both the husband and the wife to understand the goal of marriage. It's very important for both husband and the wife to understand, okay? This is what God wants. This is what God has designed marriage to be. So that's why it's important at the outset to have a proper understanding of, so what if it is not there? Well, in some way we can facilitate, right? Well, maybe the church can facilitate, maybe the ministry can facilitate. You have a lot of resources out there, maybe a Bible study on marriage, a series on marriage. There are ministries which have marriage workshops, talking about marriage, and they do it in a very non-threatening, in a fun way at the same time, exposing the couple to the Word of God, exposing the couple to God's plans and God's designs. So it can be deeply convicting, and you come to a place of saying, yeah, it is possible and I want this, right? So that is very important. So the thing is to get help, okay? The thing is to get help, the thing is to put pride away and say, and have those heart-to-heart conversations with the spouse and saying, we need to change. We need things to change. It's not helping. And to find out the root cause, why is it? Maybe one person is in some form of addiction. As believers, as carnal believers, some form of addiction, something, some emotional affair, something which is causing this, which is opening the door for them, something that needs to change. So that needs to be addressed. So the thing is to get help, get understanding, and then do it, okay? Yeah, so this we see as something that is very important and especially as a young couple about to get married. It is for everyone, people who are married, especially for people who are desiring to be married. So the thing is during courtship days, everything is fine, everything is happy, and they're all very starry-eyed and refusing to look at the negative side of the other person. We're also presenting our best self to the other person. I don't want this person to not like me. So you're just presenting your best self, and you're not really, the person doesn't see the negative side of you, or at least just glimpses of it. So it is very important for such people who are single and who are desiring to get married to actually have this capability or to have this skill if we have a conflict. How are we going to resolve it? To have this understanding, right? Okay, so we shall stop here. If there are questions, we can always ask in the next class as well. So we'll stop here. Thank you. God bless. We'll meet again soon. God bless.