 I've been given the privilege to share my testimony and I do want to tell you guys this. What Tommy was sharing is so true. Take heed lest you fall. You know, I struggled a lot with anger. And anger was actually the fruit of an unrepentant heart of mine. When I was little I went through a lot of stuff. Because I was asked to share my testimony and I'm going to do that man. I grew up in a Christian home. My mom was really sick. She was actually diagnosed later on as schizophrenic. Because of it we didn't want to be around our house. Because my mom would do things that you know hit us or scream at us or always blame the devil type of thing and it was hard for us to grow up with someone who was sick. Well in that time in the church me and my brothers were molested. I know it's something hard to share because you know we think about man dude. Nobody wants to confess that ugly part of your life. But I remember going to my father and telling him actually not my brother but we told our big brother who was here with me today and my brother went and told my father what had happened to us. And my father didn't believe us. In fact a few years later from today I remember going up to my father and I told my dad, dad why didn't you believe us when we told you that we were molested. And to be honest with you it broke my father's heart. My father turned to us and said you know I'm sorry you know and he began to cry and that day God mended our hearts with there was healing that took place but then he answered the question by simply saying well because your brother Johnny was a liar man and when he came to me I thought he was lying I had no clue. Well that was the beginning. We entered into gangs and I can share a bunch of stories about gangs and stuff like that and the things that we did but that's not what it's all about. And probably some of you guys have crazier testimonies than me in regards to that lifestyle. But in that lifestyle I've developed an anger you know going through that and seeing my friends die in front of me you know getting you know wanting to pay back and stuff like that and but not only that at home my mom's still being sick I remember one night my mom went out with my little brother and sister to go look for us in the neighborhood and everything it was crazy because every time they will go my mom will go out there look for us in the neighborhood we would run from her right we were running my mom knows you know we take off and stuff but one of the nights my mom did not come home and I'm sharing this please understand with the permission of my dad and my family because they're pretty mature in the Lord and they feel it's important for me to share it so that some of you guys can understand what God did in my heart. What happened was that my mom went to go out and went to the neighborhood to look for us and that day she was raped and I remember hearing about it and couldn't really do much about it because you know we didn't know the people who did it but all that was being held inside losing our friends getting involved in drug life you know I hardly talk about my my drug life but yes we did cocaine we did acid PCP and all that stuff and and just through life I felt like the world owed me something so I had this attitude became very prejudice especially through the LA riots when everything was going on I remember you know going out there and jumping some guys and stabbing some guys just because of the color of their skin it was just my way of releasing the anger but when I became a Christian you know it didn't go away I still kept it in my life and many times it will come up you know and I would hide it from the people from the from the from the body of Christ you know I will come to church and I will lift my hands and worship and praise and read the Bible but when I got home it was a whole different story in fact I remember the first day first day I got saved you know I ran home and I told my dad and my mom about that about my salvation and then I went home and I talked to my wife a guess what I gave my life to Jesus Christ it's the bomb and all that stuff and she's like whatever I'm a Catholic to the court and then I said no you're not and I smacked her and then after that what mean we men usually do after we do something dumb right oh baby I'm sorry you know I love you baby this is for real you know type of thing well my wife stayed with me but throughout those years I was developing anger but here's the thing there was sin in my life that I never confessed and dealt with and because of it it kept coming back and my way of releasing that anger was with people or even my own children this morning when I came here my son Jonathan was laying there and I told me who you gonna go with us Tyreen he had a long weekend you know he works up there in San Francisco drives down in the weekend and I said dad I'm gonna share something my testimony do you mind if I share the story with me you got into a fight he said no dad go for it man so I'm gonna share it with his permission that anger got to the point where one day my my I came home while I was at home actually and my son was kind of going back and forth with my mom I mean with his mom not my mom his mom and I'll be honest with you man I I told my kids before listen don't ever talk to my girlfriend that way if you do listen there's gonna be problems but that was pride and anger I wanted them to fear me right to fear me you know I missed about the local from the west side whatever right and I always had that that mentality you know what if I look at you better back down I just wanted him to be afraid of me I thought that if I had that power of him he's not gonna live a crazy life he's not gonna go my about my way but at the same time there was pride in there hidden with anger so I came up to my he was talking to my son I went up and told him something my son kind of stood up a little bit and when he stood up he kind of touched me that was it in that moment I released my anger I grabbed my boy to drop him to the ground and began to fight with it was hard because my son got up and he walked away and he said I hate you dad listen guys I remember I say yeah punk get out of the house my wife jumped in you know if you try to stop us and she did I began to talk to my boy went out and I'm dealing with the conviction of the spirit God is telling me David David David you got to repent from that sin but I wouldn't it wasn't two a couple years later you know I was still dealing with it so I came to a pastor's conference and there was a brother there who I love dearly Bruce from Calvary Chapel the Wilkins and he's sitting there with me and I'm sharing I'm just pointing a bunch of stuff to I'm sharing things that I did ask a Christian I remember once standing over my wife with a with a knife and she woke up looking dead at me and she began to say and I told her do whatever and I got up and I walked away I was contemplating killing her that's how angry I was towards her and that's why I love my pastor David Rosales man that I remember I called him and I told him pastor if we don't meet if we don't talk I'm gonna kill my wife and my pastor went all the way to where I live and we met and and as soon as I saw him we walked into Al Capulco's there and which is fake Mexican food and so we walked in and we walked in and he's there and and he holds me and he grabs me and he tells me David you have a calling upon your life don't mess it up and cried now I remember trying to say pastor I have this anger and I began to confess things that I was doing that I did in the past I'm committing adultery watching pornography and all these other things that I did my pastor said David God loves you but again going back to the pastor's conference I'm sitting there and this brother comes up to me we're talking and you tell me David I'm gonna tell you straight up you're in sin you're in sinning you need to repent or God's no longer gonna use you this is the crazy thing about it right before I got to the pastor's conference I was out at an L and Southgate I'm heading to Southgate I mean to the pastor's conference and I come across two cars right you know on a four-way stop type of thing right so standing there I'm right here the cars in this side I'm all excited cuz I'm one of the pastor's conference where God will speak to me and this car tells me you go and I say no you go say no you go brother go man just go he's like no you go so he goes you know I'm all blessed cuz you know I did something good in my mind but when he goes right by me he flips me off in that moment I was back to the world I remember I I kind of said well and I threw my car at him I chased him down a little bit put the car in front of him I got off the car I ran up to the window and I spit at him what's all fools and there were three guys in there guy looked at me and said no me no no no no peace peace and then I'm stumps I'm looking right I'm gonna say oh dude forgive me I'm a Christian my pastor and I got on my car and I drove you can imagine you can imagine the drive almost an hour almost an hour and a half from from Southgate to to Marietta conviction raw gave a message an anger the Lord spoke to me but he confirmed it with my brother Bruce when he confronted me and you know something guys I remember I left that um that pastors conference and I went home and I and my boys my our witnesses and I sat my boys down Jonathan and Isaac and even Samantha because they were all victims of my anger each one had been abused by me kick throne socked while nobody knew so I sat him down my wife wasn't there and I said listen first thing I want to do is this I want to apologize for being such a jerk I want to apologize because I misrepresented Christ to you guys and then I said would you forgive me my boys got up and they hugged me and this is that we forgive you we love you and I'll be honest with you it ain't go right away right away took a few maybe about weeks or months but I'll tell you this I'm free I'm free and let me tell you the key to my freedom are you guys ready obedience obedience obey the Word of God and you will set yourself free from whether it be alcohol pornography anger whatever it is obey the word of God trust the Word of God obey it and you're gonna see that you will be set free and here's the thing not only did God set me free but God tested me to see if I was real and I'll be honest with you man by the grace of God I am passing man because there's times where man I just want to get someone and God said no okay look I'm done you know he tested me when I went to Haiti like I think it was last year and we're driving down these these main streets there in Port-au-Prince and man there's so many cars there man I remember there was this one kind of a bus and all these guys were just hanging out this this bus with all the windows you know shattered and the doors to have no doors it's a very poor you know our country they're in and I'm driving and the guys right next to me comment maybe about a car at a car distance and I'm looking at him and he looks at me and he starts cursing at me you know give me the finger I like Lord what's up with people give me the finger what's going on here Lord and I'm watching him and he's like what is it not it's it because you know they don't talk like me like that but you know what I'm saying like like that and I'm looking at him and my mind I'm thinking I can get off and bomb on this dude but if I bomb on this dude I'm gonna have the whole ages jumping me wisdom thank you right but at that moment I remember I just started praying for him I said oh Lord thank you and I wasn't mad I wasn't angry I was feeling sorry but see but there were still sins in my lives that I still had to deal with and one of them was pornography and I'll be honest with you it's hard thing to confess as a minister but the Lord delivered me from pornography years ago and I'll tell you how obedience here's the second thing falling in love with Jesus Christ you see when you fall in love with Christ you don't want to hurt God right falling in love with the Lord that will keep you faithful that will keep you committed and then he tested me I was in the bathroom area there and somebody sends me something on Facebook I think it was Facebook and I opened it and there was this girl band just straight you know and I'm watching and I said no and I kind of delete it right number one my wife finds out I'm out of here right I got over to go number two I don't want I don't want to break God's heart but this is what's crazy I went to church and I taught a message and a brother came up to me and I'll close with this and I'm sure you guys probably gonna say oh he's gonna share about his gang like but I've shared so many times I might share what God is doing now as a minister so so I go to the to the church and I gave a message afterwards a brother comes up I love this brother Juan he comes up and says hey bro you said I don't know how to tell you man but I gotta tell you I go go for it man he said I dream that you were watching porn do you have problems watching porn I said nah bro no problem and at that time I really didn't have a problem it just happened but I just want to show you how God much how much God loves me just like Tommy said he loves you too much you won't let you get away with saying it you know what I'm saying so I remember he said nah bro I'm cool man he goes oh bro I'm sorry if I approach you like that don't worry about it bro God's good man you God bless you but I drove home and God told me David you're wrong you know how hard it was for him to come up to tell you what he told you and you kind of shined him off I said oh Lord forgive me see the thing is that he said he had this dream two months ago prior to that time but he's been praying about when to confront me or he confront me the day after I had that little thing incident so I'm like oh God forgive me Lord so the next I was Sunday I went up to him goes hey bro can I have a word with you goes yeah what's up I go come to the back of my office and I say here let me share something with you I say thank you bro for being bold and to come into coming to me and telling me what you told me is it no no bro sorry I'm gonna listen let me share something with you the day right after you know before that you came to me you told me about an about pornography I said I denied it not that I'm addicted to it bro but it happened I said and let me tell something bro by you telling me you're warning me that God's always watching me and that he's not gonna let me go get away with it I told him praise God for his bonus we need more Christians like that right so check this out afterwards he starts crying they tell me bro thank you I go why he goes because you don't know how stupid and dumb I felt when I went home and I cried I said bro I apologize man I said I apologize and I said but it didn't make sense because I had that dream two months ago I said that's how the Lord works man he's awesome see he gave you that dream but he prepared you for that day so that you can come and tell me to warn me that God's always watching you should have signed me was like for real bro I go la neta carnal for real man for real and listen I'll tell you this God is watching you he knows everything you do he knows if you have some pictures on yourself from right now that you shouldn't have he knows if you got drunk yesterday before he came to this conference saying you know what I'm just drinking and today I'll get that repent get right with God and move on he knows he knows everything about you and I believe that God brought you today so that you can repent from your sin I am free from anger I am free from pornography I am free now do I struggle course I struggle if not I will be Jesus but I can tell you this I can tell you this guys my life is set I'm pleasing God now look at me standing before you guys with the privilege to tell you that God is good and he will help you if you just obey believe let me just read this verse 1 Corinthians 15 10 because I want God to be glorified 15 10 says this and now I'll pass it over to my good friend David Zamora he says by the grace of God I am what I am and his grace toward me was not in vain but I labor more abundantly than they are yet not I but the grace of God which was in me by the grace of God I am what I am