Check in officer:Good afternoon sir
Indian:Good evening, is this the right counter for the flight to Madras?
Officer: Ya that's right sir
Indian: This is the first time I'm travelling on your airline so I just want to check a few things: How many meals will you be serving on this flight?
Officer: Just one main meal sir.
Indian: Just one meal? I'M TRAVELLING FIRST CLASS I'M PAYING MORE THAN A THOUSAND DOLLAR AND YOU'RE ONLY GIVING ONE MEAL?? My cousin flew from New zealand to England recently and he got more than 5 meals and what you can offer is one miserable meal?? And he was in third class!
Officer:Yes sir,but I mean your cousin's flight was a very long one, I mean your own flight to madras is under three hours.
Indian: Just under 3 hours? UNDER 3HOURS!OK I'M PAYING MORE THAN A THOUSAND DOLLAR AND ALL YOU CAN GIVE ME IS THREE HOURS DRIVE!! WHATS THE POINT OF GOING FIRST CLASS IF YOU CAN GET THE SAME TRAVELLING TIME AS THESE PEOPLE IN THIRD CLASS!!
Officer: Yes I'm sorry sir, but, you see whether you're first class or economy you're on the same plane. I mean its the same travelling time for everybody
Indian: RUBBBISSSHHH!!!!The last time I travelled to Delhi, I asked a man sitting in front of me where he was going and he said Dubai!And I said to him isnt it more than technology, WONDERFUL, your seat is going to Dubai and my seat is going to Delhi and you tell me you cant arrange a longer flight for us!!!
Officer: I'm afraid we really can't sir.
Indian: Anyway, YOU TELL YOUR PILOT,I WOULD GIVE HIM A TIP IF HE GOES AROUND A BIT, you know as they say, a little bit goes a looooong way!
Officer: Is this all your luggage sir?
Indian: Are you reffering to the bag,one washing machine, two televisions,three stereos and two computers?
Officer: Yeah thats right sir.
Indian: And the umbrella???
Officer:Yes sir, I think I should charge you excess baggage.
Officer: BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT OF BAGGAGE SIR!
Indian: SO?? HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH SPACE?? AM I TRAVELLING IN A BOEING OR A TOYOTA?? Whats the matter with you?? And another thing, have you noticed that I'm eating only INDIAN vegetarian??
Officer: AAHHMM yes we've noted that sir
Indian: Good! DONT GIVE ME WESTERN VEGETARIAN OR VEGAN TASTE LIKE BLOOODY SODA!!!!AND BY THE WAY, MAKE SURE YOU'LL GET THIS!!
Officer: What's this screen stuff sir?
Indian: ITS MY OWN BANANA LEAF!!!