 This episode's brought to you by LFS Logistics. Your product, our priority. Details and links are in the description below the video. Fantastic Beasts 3 is here, baby! Fantastic Beasts, the secrets of Dumbledore, is in theaters. No one is excited about this film. Let's be honest. I'm amazed they're still making these things. They're embarrassing. The fact that they're even remotely related to Harry Potter gives me cringe. This is my last review that's going to be filmed in my house. It's been sold. This is the last night I own the property. Normally my production is a little bit cleaner. It's a little bit more well-executed. It doesn't sound like I'm talking at a cathedral. Subscribe for quality content! Speaking of quality films, let's talk about the Fantastic Beasts secrets of Dumbledore. If you are one of the few that is excited about the Fantastic Beasts property, why? Don't let my negativity sour your experience. I don't even know why you're watching this. I'll probably title it something salacious, like Fantastic Beasts gave me cancer or something. I don't know yet. I'm still workshopping these creative ideas. But for me, when I look at the Fantastic Beasts films, it's much like this house. Empty, hollow, devoid of substance, of identity. They're just barren walls. A movie that is still at odds with itself, pushing and pulling in multiple directions. We're married to the Fantastic Beasts, so we do have Newt and his adventures. But we want to have a more interesting, larger scale situation with Dumbledore and his battle with Grindelwald. Their lover's quarrel. If you made it past the second movie, which was a complete narrative shit show, this one is better. It's definitely a better film than the second movie. I still think the first is superior. It's just a little bit more fun. It's got some color in the palette. It's not just grays, which reminds me. David Yates, listen man, I went to bat for you several times in the Harry Potter films. I liked your direction there. I like that it was growing up with the property, the somberness of the tone, the lifeless nature of it worked there. But we're starting over and you're at ground zero already making this boring, drab look. It's called Fantastic Beasts. Yet your colors are so muted, so down. I can barely differentiate scene to scene. Oh, we're up in the mountains now. We're in a crisp lush forest. How do they look the same? If you're hoping that J.K. Rowling was gonna structure this movie a little better, without the soap opera baby swap reveals and all that other nonsense, kind of it's definitely a little easier to follow. Doesn't help that Grindelwald changed appearances again and it's never mentioned. I don't know how you go from a freaking guy looking like Jack Frost in the second movie to a dude with just a comb over and a couple grays in his hair. He had spiked hair in the second film. It was Johnny Depp, albino white, white tipped, frosted to all hell and now he's just like a dude. Just Michael Madsen walking around kind of gallivanting around the streets. People worship him. He's not really even playing a character anymore. It reeks of not caring at all about what you're making. I almost fell asleep several times in the film. Now to be fair, I've been pulling a lot of late nights. We're moving across the country, but it's two and a half hours long and it takes a dumb while to really build into any sort of story. At its core, at the core of a wand, this movie's kind of an Ocean's Eleven-esque heist film. Now there's no heist per se, but they do the switcheroo. It's all about pulling the wool over the eyes of old Grindy. If it was just Grindelwald being replaced and the story not giving two craps about changing the actor, I mean that's still bad enough, but the fact that it's not just him, but other prominent players that were built up that go nowhere that tells me this movie series doesn't care about itself. Tina, remember Tina? She's gone. No more than a minute of screen time? They just totally got rid of her. I didn't care because I thought Tina kind of sucked. But the fact that the movie doesn't care about its own character just shows that the script is a disaster and this whole property is a mess. I don't honestly remember the title of the last Star Wars movie, the one that came after the last Jedi, Rise of Skywalker I think. This has that vibe going on. It's almost as if it's ashamed of the previous movie and the setups it did, so it tried to kind of reset without fully going all in. Queenie for instance in a relationship with Jacob remember how she brainwashed him in the second film in order to convince him to marry her because for some reason she had to trick him in order to do that? Come on she's a 10. Well that film ended with her joining Grindelwald for reasons I can't possibly explain and now in this third movie she's just like everyone else thinking why did you do that? Jacob still have nothing bad to say about the guy. Love Jacob. But can we just get a spin-off Jacob show where he's fighting wizards without any special abilities of his own? That's the movie I'd pay to see. I mean I paid to see this unfortunately. You might be thinking Adam I don't care about the plot. I'm here for the wizarding duels. How are those? There are some. There's a couple scenes that I thought did work really well. One in particular is when they go to this German propaganda Nazi rally type of thing where Grindelwald's kind of getting popular and rising to power and there's a little fight inside one of the the dinner halls or something. But some of those bigger moments are done metaphorically. They're like done in a king's cross station sort of an area and it turns out none of it's real to begin with. It's like a battle of the minds or the wills or the souls and not so much an actual battle with consequences. Listen I love me some good wand play and by wand play I'm talking about masturbation. I also like it in these films not with actual wands. Blocking the magic. There's definitely more slow motion in this one. Lots of slow motion bullet time wizarding dueling going on. There's not a lot of style to it. Nobody has the serious black style where he's like snapping it. There is a 1v1 Dumbledore Grindelwald. It's not great but they did get close together. They're really pressing each other and I was hoping they would just start throwing punches like wand through the face makes a slice takes the wand into the guy's head. If you're here for the fantastic beast portion of it that's fine too. They ram in some fantastic beast nonsense. You have a Bambi character that is very prominent. It bows to only the purest of heart and the one that's worthy. Kind of a bizarre storyline. It's a little messy but everything in this series is because J.K. Rowling's writing like it's a book still that has 700 pages and not a script. Hey look if a successful billionaire is not going to take the advice from some random mid-tier youtuber then what is she even doing? You know there is a new character. I apologize I don't remember a name. I think it's like Laylee or Lally. Great new addition. She's having a good time. One of the few people with a personality. Youssef another new character. Terrible. His whole arc goes nowhere. It's really unceremonious. There's no payoff to a lot of this film. One thing I did notice a lot more in this film was the music. They definitely upped their game. Not only are the old nostalgic Harry Potter songs back which this film doesn't deserve to use but it had some newer numbers or some kind of remixes that I thought were very well handled. There's definitely some nostalgia bait thrown in. It's like J.K. sat down at one point and is like let's just throw a bunch of references from the other older films. Look we got the Quidditch references. There's that monster book that eats things. We're three movies deep. You're either on board or you're not. I can't imagine anyone not liking the second one and being excited for this because I thought that film was just terrible. Now if you're one of the people that really enjoyed the second movie you're probably gonna like this. This whole thing is just a disaster okay and and they clearly know it and they're trying to course correct by throwing out a lot of the stuff that didn't work. There's characters that were introduced in the second movie like the stupid Nagini lady nowhere to be found here. I don't and the thing is I saw the second movie once. I don't remember it at all. I just remember being completely bored and lost by these story lines and why they were doing the things they were doing but decisions and choices were made and what we're left with is a third film that's at an identity crisis. Doesn't really know where it wants to go next and I think that's because Warner Brothers doesn't know where they want to go next with this property. My guess is they're gonna do one more film and call it a day. They're scheduled to do two more and I think originally it was supposed to be six. That was paired down to five. I think they're gonna pair it back to a fourth and just let's just be done. We tried it okay. We tried it. It worked a little bit but not all the way. We definitely dropped off a lot of the Harry Potter fans. Let's start over. There's a lot of ideas out there we can do with Harry Potter. Let's just go another route. Well those are my fantastic thoughts on a not so fantastic film. Let me know in the comments what you thought but maybe think about liking this video, subscribing if you haven't. I do post a lot of movie reviews, rants, reactions, things of that nature and hopefully I'll see you around.