 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic how a high-quality man says I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Really quickly before we get started you might notice I'm wearing a suit this time. Someone recently mentioned that she thought I'd be better off be more professional if I wore a suit when I shot these videos. So today I'm wearing a suit. Although since I'm since it's COVID I am not wearing the suit pants to go with this. All right, let's just jump into a topic how a high-quality man, you know what let's shift that how emotionally mature man says I love you. Okay, how does an emotionally mature man say I love you? So I've come up with this phrase that I use what I love you means to me and that's what I want to share with you I want you to explore what I love you means to you and so whether it's a man or woman this really goes both ways and You know first I've got to stop real quick before I get into this. I am burning up wearing this So I got to take off the jacket I'm gonna throw on again, and I got to take off the tie Because you know what is cool as I might look it just isn't me I wear jeans and t-shirts. I live at the beach You know I wear flip-flops every day. This isn't my style, but I just wanted to start the video So just to remember I love you. Okay, so Thank you for your patience with me. I don't know why I just chose to do that, but anyway When I say I love you this is what it means to me and let me explain why after I share each sentence So the first basically there's six parts to I love you in my world. That's the world according to Jonathan Number one, I'm here I'm here and what that means is I'm present. I'm present to this relationship. I'm present to Acknowledging you I'm present to this experience Oftentimes most people are focused on the future or they're focused on the past In other words, they're hoping something will change in the future or they're reliving their past and it affects Their present so the first words I say when I say I love you it means I'm here. I'm present. I'm present to you Number two is You matter you matter So when I say the words I love you you matter means that your feelings matter to me In other words, I'm present to your feelings I'm present to your needs wants and desires not only my own needs wants and desires the average human is more focused on their own needs and And oftentimes women tend to be givers so they give to satisfy someone else's needs But I'm here to say that a true mature man when he says I love you He's saying you matter your needs matter and that's and and really when you reckon when you're recognizing that a man Doesn't value your needs He might say the words I love you, but it doesn't mean he really means it from an emotionally mature state Number three Well first, let's read real. Let's go backward. I'm here. You matter number three three We are important the we are important and I'm hugging myself to demonstrate that when you hug someone There's a we the relationship is a separate entity So oftentimes more people most people are focused in the I love you meaning I need you to love me for me to feel Good about myself. I need you to love me for me to feel good about myself But in a we relationship you recognize it. There's a you. There's a me and then there's a we we is a separate entity We is a separate entity and a relationship is a separate entity that requires an investment of time energy resources emotional commitment transparency vulnerability Personal responsibility actions matching words. That's what the we represents So when we step into the we matter then when someone says I love you It's coming from a sense of an immature person says it from an from a place of understanding that the we matters So I'm here You're important We matter I've got your back I've got your back That's the fourth one. I've got your back What that means is saying that we're We're part of a team, you know, we're working together in this we relationship as a team And I'm here to say if you're in relationship with someone if you've been with men who have said I love you but they don't treat it as I've got your back like you know that they've got your back You can feel it and you've got their back Because that's what an emotionally mature person does they recognize that if they're gonna say the words I love you that I've got your back has to be a component And the fourth or the fifth piece is I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere In other words, I'm committed to this relationship. I'm committed to the we I recognize there's a you There's a me and I'm committed to the we I'm not going anywhere and And sadly a lot of people say I love you, but they've got one foot out the door You've got one foot out the door. So people might say the words. I love you, but a true emotionally mature person Says it from a place is I'm not going anywhere. I genuinely mean this. I'm not second-guessing this and Lastly when an emotionally mature person says I love you they say Again, I'm gonna repeat. I'm here. You matter We are important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you you will feel cherished You'll feel respected. You'll feel desired You get it's coming from a place of I desire you I only want you I'm not interested in any other women. I'm not interested. I'm interested investing in this relationship. I only want you Ladies I get it's it's complicated trying to understand men, you know Men say that they're simple and yet they're so effing complex because they're all over the map It's one of the reasons why I wrote my book Understand men now the relationships men commit to and why you're not familiar with my book go to Amazon It's sold there both as a Kindle on a paperback And by the way, this was my first book and it's a little It's a little naive. I wrote it from a place of naivety and what I mean to say is it's just a base Understanding of man. It's not that deep dive of understanding men But it gives you some basic principles it piggybacks from my book that I talk about frequently is self-love what the heck is self-love anyway and why I'm talking about self-love is that Wow, I'm sweating from just wearing that jacket um self-love Understands that when we love on ourselves and we can be more open and receptive to love from another human being and they're Capable of giving love because an emotionally mature person steps into Saying the words I love you from a place of emotional maturity And if you haven't watched my video on emotional maturity go fine I did a podcast called the five signs of emotional maturity Half of my videos are all centered around emotional maturity, which sadly only represents a small percentage of the population And yet the emotionally mature person says I love you from a place of I'm here you matter We are important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you Doesn't that feel good, please tell me doesn't that feel good write a comment. Tell me how that feels just hearing it Oh, by the way, write a comment about my suit that I wore any thoughts about my clothing Anyway, I think you get the gist of where I'm going here I hope you found value in this video if you want help understanding men If you want to help take your relationship to the next level if you want help attracting the right guy Then check out my free discovery call to see if working isn't what the coach is right for you Also, check out my book what the heck is self-love anyway my book understand men now my podcast the what would love do podcast Just click the links below right there I'd love for you to take your love life to a whole next level And oftentimes it starts with a wake-up call. That's why I'm very passionate when I shoot my videos All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do now first off giving myself a big gigantic hug of self-love I'm gonna reach into the screen and give you a hug of love I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye. Bye now