 Hello, welcome to Kwok Talk. I'm Crystal here on Think Tech on the 10th of January, still bringing in the good luck and good vibe for the New Year 2017. We're going to be talking about some great energy. What do I mean by that? Energy and competition because sometimes competition brings energy onto the table. It strives you forward and motivates you and inspires you to do greatness, right? So today we're going to have a little fun angle on the concept of competition and that is through the beauty contest. Now we've done beauty contests before but that was on more like behind the scenes. This time we're going to talk to two beautiful beauty creams and their experience in competition and what it really means to be competitive for better or for worse. So welcome. All right, so lovely lady next to me, Steph. Now Steph has been here before and she's the one who I'll never forget this and I'm going to remind everyone that she taught me what butt glue is and we'll talk about that later. Okay, do you know what that is? Steph Wang has a huge title. I mean she's got titles. Should I even start with the most recent one is 2017 Miss Hawaii Chinese. That was very recent like in September. September. Wow. And your previous titles were 2015 Miss Chinatown Hawaii and 2012 Miss Narcissus Second Princess. That was my first pageant ever. How old were you? I was 19. And now you're a whopping 20 something. Oh, you're old lady. Dara, she was Miss Chinatown USA in 2003, which she hates to spell out. She was 14 years ago. People weren't even born yet. You know, do these young pretty girls? No, I'm a rooster. This is actually my rooster. So you're 24. Yes. Also the 60th anniversary that Miss Chinatown USA is celebrating. Absolutely. And I've got one more title for you. You were 2005 Miss Narcissus Queen. Now I had the honor of emceeing the Narcissus pageant last weekend and it was interesting to see what the concept of a beauty pageant is and the competitive nature behind it and between girls and what people aspire to be through trying to gain a title. So it's really quite interesting. Let's talk about this. Girls, first of all, do you find yourselves competitive by nature? Do you think that's something that's innate or you do that for a reason? What's your definition of competition, healthy competition? I've always been competitive by nature. I think just ever since I was a small girl, I think I just always wanted to become the best version of myself and whether it was through academics or sports. I didn't really pay that much sports but when I did in PE, I would always want to be the best and I think that's what really drives me to succeed. Do you think the parents play an important role in that competitive nature or that was you? Well, I was blessed to be able to go to school from a bunch of different places. I remember in Hong Kong and even preschool, starting from preschool, I would excel academically and what we'd get in school was awards and what that's what I really wanted was to get the awards and to bring home to my parents and to make them proud. I think that's what really drove me to want to be competitive and to become the best version of myself. That's really interesting you say that because a lot of people are unaware education system in the East is very strongly based on competition. Everything's about number one, number two, number three, which I hated but I'm surprised and I'm glad to know that you thrived in that type of environment. So good on you. What about you, Dara? What's your competitive nature? I am one of four and I'm the youngest. So it's, I mean, I have two older sisters and one older brother. Okay. So you have the boys, the first born, but poor thing, he gets like no bathroom time and growing up, he just got no talk time either. As a boy and a Chinese family, didn't he get all the attention or? One would think, but I mean, I think we were just so blessed and so fortunate. We had both sets of grandparents, we had aunties, uncles, we're the only grandchildren. So we kind of never wanted for love or attention because we had so much and we're so blessed and so fortunate. But yeah, and then going to school, my parents always just told us, do your best. So even when we started pageants, it wasn't to win, it was to make friends and to, you know, just push yourself to see what you could do. And so it was actually, I guess, going for miscongeniality a little bit more than the title because you wanted to get the full experience and make friends and lasting relationships. But you say the number, you're the baby of the family. How does that make you more competitive? You had to kind of grab the attention of everyone or I thought babies were always cuddle with all the attention. It's kind of weird, like even my older siblings, they always gave me love and attention. And so I didn't really, you know, fight for it or want for it. Right. So you were the spoiled little one. You'll have to ask them. You're okay. But no, I mean, I was totally fine with hand-me-downs and all those things that the youngest one gets. But it was overall and still is a wonderful experience. My siblings and I are very close. Oh, lucky. And you have one brother. Yes, well, yes, I have a younger brother. We're 11 months apart. So we're Irish twins. Okay. Are you competitive with each other? We could, we could be. I mean, I think more so when we were younger, I was, he was more competitive with me because I was the one bringing home all the awards. And then as we got older, it kind of switched around. And so yeah, so that's interesting. And growing up competition between siblings, because sometimes some, some siblings are in the limelight always. And one is always in the shadow. And they can, you know, present problems. We can get a chip on your shoulder, you can have insecurity complexes or the other way around. Well, my sister, Deena actually was the first to do a pageant. Okay. And she loved it so much. She's the one who entered Dambi and me. So it wasn't like, I want to get all these accolades and I want all the crowns. It was like, I love this so much. I want my sisters to be a part of it too. So yeah, so she would enter us like the morning of the night before. It was crazy. She's like, I promise I'll help you with everything. I'll help you with hair and makeup to show up. How did your parents feel about you entering? They loved it. Yeah, as long as we, we did it for the right reason. Right, right. So I was talking to somebody, I don't remember what, but you know, the concept of pageants, it seems to be two schools of thoughts. There are some Chinese parents who think, Oh, yeah, go do it. It's a great experience. It'll encourage your confidence and exposure. But then there's the other half more traditional, if you will, I don't know, they go, God, you're not allowed to enter. No way, you're not going to be put on the stage to be judged by people. And God forbid, wear a bikini, you know, planting your body. So what do you think? Well, my parents were actually on opposite ends. So my mom was like, go for it, you know, she it'll be a great experience. And when I was 19, entering my first pageant, I was at a time in my life where I was not the most confident. I was stuck in a box. And I wanted to do something that would make me step out of my comfort zone. And growing up here, the pageant culture is so big, especially in Chinatown, you see the posters everywhere. So I was like, you know what, why not? And I decided to run in narcissists. But my dad was what you said before about like, you know, no, you're not going to stand on stage with your swimsuit. And, you know, there's a there's a stigma on pageantry. Right, right. Like all the like background, I don't know, you hear all these rumors, right? And but I mean, in the end, he saw how much growth I had, I got from the pageant. And I mean, in the end, I think he's just, he's very supportive now. And that's what I'm really grateful for you proved him, right? You can do it. It doesn't tarnish your image. You can do it in a swimsuit. But the narcissist didn't have a swimsuit aspect. Is there a reason for that? Was there used to be not in my when you had one back at the back then? I actually don't remember. Should I repeat that? That was 14 years ago. That was actually 12 years ago for me. No, I can't remember. I have no idea. Do you think there's any exploitation in any of these pageants? No, not that I and I've competed in a lot of pageants in Hawaii. And I haven't had a negative experience at all. Except for like, the 30 old guys who we are gonna get this anywhere though, right? Even if you're not like a title holder, I was like, Oh, you don't have to enter a passion for that. Right. My point. And you were a flight attendant at Hawaii Airlines? Yes. So you must get a lot of that life. It's people. You just, yeah, people. Right. Good point. But I want to take on that. The fact that you, you fly now you have a nice professional career flying everywhere around the world. Do you think that your title brought you to where you are today? Or how much did that crown or crowns affect who you are today? Well, definitely you have to do public speaking when you're in that role. And I was a speech major at UH, so I don't know if that's the catalyst that, you know, brought me to my career. Now I don't, I don't think so. I think that was just part of, I don't know, I'd like to talk. And that's a lot of what you do is I mean, you're constantly interacting with people. Yes. I don't know. I'm not sure. Maybe part of your personality brought you to the pageant because you're so comfortable on stage and interacting with everyone. So it's all right. I don't, we'll go with that answer. Sure. I mean, it takes a certain type of people. That's what I'm trying to get. Yeah, definitely. So I have a question. So me being like, dreading speech at UH, so I actually try to avoid it as much as possible. Like, what kind of kinds of advice do you have for someone who isn't the most comfortable with public speaking, but is what really wants. I think I've, I've come a long way in terms of speaking in front of people, but I feel like there's definitely always room for improvement. I would say just do it more. Like just find audiences like this, I think is awesome. Like it's such a, yes, there is no quote unquote, you know, live audience or anything, but I just feel like the more you do it. Always live though, streaming right now. Oh, okay. But I mean, just do it more. The more you do things in practice, it just gets better and you get more comfortable and it becomes more second skin, I think. But some people naturally, right? Some people naturally are comfortable in front of the camera and some people aren't no matter what or comedians, they say actually behind the scenes, they're very shy people. So yeah, I mean, that is a good question of how you overcome certain things. But maybe the concept of competition does help you confront those fears, right? For sure. It brings all your insecurity on the table and you've got a, you can't hide, basically. Well, especially in San Francisco, which you will be going to very shortly. I mean, you're just exposed to pretty much all of San Francisco's Chinatown. And I believe San Francisco has the second largest Chinese population after China. So this is huge. When I did it years ago, I still remember our parade had 750,000 people on it. Do you actually remember the number? It was huge because I never participated in something that was just so heavily community oriented. And what an experience it was. And just visiting all of the different, what do you call the groups where you're part of that village and part of that organization society. Thank you. And just going to see them and they're just so culturally proud. I mean, you're proud to be Chinese. Well, I was going to ask, do you think it's Chinese or innately competitive? Yeah, right? Like you said, academic. There's a stereotype, you know, Asians, not lesions. Yeah, that's redundant. A competitive Chinese. All right, so, yeah. But in a good way. I was going to say, so what's a bad way? What's the negative way to be competitive? Or what's being over competitive? You must have seen it through the pageants, some girls, you know, ugly stuff. Must have. When you focus, I think, too much on other people instead of focusing on yourself. I like to think of competition as a competition with yourself, who you were yesterday is different from who you are today and even tomorrow. So if you want to become a better person and, you know, be improved in any way, even outside of Paddingtree, it doesn't have to be a paddingtree. Right, that's just a little metaphor of life. Right. I mean, the little microcosm and the whole world out there waiting for you to show them what you got. Do you have like big dreams, big ideas of where you want to be? Both of you. I don't care that much. I mean, it's an ongoing process, right? I used to tell my mom I was going to be the first female president of the United States. That changed a lot over the years. But yeah, I think we always have big dreams and big hope. Good. What's yours? I mean, I have so many different aspirations. I think that's almost like my problem is I want to be, I want to save the world. I tell everyone I'm going to save the world whether it's environmentally or just helping people around the world. And I also want to be a voice actor and a model. You are a voice actor. I am, but I want to be even more. I want to be a, you want to be the next like not Moana, but whatever the next film is. Exactly. Yeah. So I think it's good to have big dreams and big goals because even if you don't reach it per se, I'm sure, just the journey along the way, you can grow so much and then you can, you become the person who is meant to have those dreams. You nailed it, Steph. It's the journey, it's the journey itself. So we're going to take a quick break before we continue this journey onto these lovely ladies and their lives forward and the impact their competition had on their lives today. So don't go away and I've got some pretty pictures for you to see. Aloha. I'm Reg Baker, the host of Business in Hawaii, the broadcast live every Thursday from two to two thirty. Today we were very fortunate enough to have a Dr. Miller and her service dog Muffin. We talked about the ADA and we covered some of the different do's and don'ts of having service dogs in your establishment and how to sniff out the fakes. Please tune in for Business in Hawaii on Thursday to find out all about service dogs. Aloha. Hello and Aloha. My name is Raya Salter and I am the host of Power of Hawaii, where Hawaii comes together to figure out how we're going to work towards a clean and renewable energy future. We have exciting conversations with all kinds of stakeholders, everyone who needs to come together to talk about renewable energy, be they engineers, advocates, lawyers, utility executives, musicians or artists, to see how we can come together to make a renewable future. Tuesdays at one p.m. All right. Back here on Bob's Up. So we're talking about competition through beauty patterns and there's a small little detail that I forgot to mention is that I too, which I usually don't like to admit, but because it's relevant to today's topic that I myself was in this Chinatown, but this was like so long ago that I couldn't even find any photos of it. In fact, I did find one that's a black and white photo. It's not because it's black and white. Now, this is not that old. It's only 1987. 30 years, girls. Oh, my God. That's true. I love it. I love Chinatown. Yeah, you look younger now. Oh, come on. So yeah, so that was my experience and what it brought me to Asia because you get a trip to Asia and for me, that was my big thing. I entered because I thought, oh, if you get even as the first three positions, you can get a free trip to Asia. And that was what I did for winning. Anyway, it's interesting how things carry you forward and a title does bring you somewhere and you can use it to your advantage or you can abuse it. There are people who have abused privileges with the title. But I also want to share, Darrah, sorry, I don't have a picture of yours because I couldn't find one on. It was like point and shoot back in the day and I have no idea where the prints are. How come you never kept, or maybe your parents kept photos? Maybe. Not that long ago. I know, but yeah. Okay, well, sorry. I'm going to have to point you guys out. I swear. Okay, and Steph has some gorgeous pictures from last year. I think, oh no, that's me. I know that was me. Look at the date there, 1987, 30 years ago. Okay, the only reason I have this photo is because there's a similar one of Steph in the big, beautiful recent one. Did everybody require it? Look how pretty. I mean, it's just so noble, right? Yeah, that cape was made for you. That's perpetual cloak. Yeah, it's really pretty. Very royal. And then there's the picture of you being crowned. And I think that represents a lot. There's a very immediate moment of excitement and pure joy. I think it's something very, very sweet and real about that photo. Do you remember what you were thinking when you're going through that? Actually, that photo was taken, that was my second crowning because actually the crown fell off my head and I caught it. And then my friend, oh, I have footage, I can show you later, but my friend Crystal in the picture, she was helping me put it back on and I mean, but the regular crowning photo was the same face. I was so happy. It was just like a dream come true, just being able to represent Hawaii at Miss Chinatown USA. I'm so glad to be sitting in between two Miss Chinatown USA right now. Three generations here, okay, girls. But it's funny you say the crown fell off. This thing has happened. I don't, back to that black and white photo of me. If you zoom in really tight, when the lady before me, the queen before me crowned me, her hair, she had this gorgeous massive hair and when she came over, my eyelash got stuck in her hair. So when she pulled away, it pulled off half of my eyelash and you know how false eyelashes when you dry and you pull it off, you can't stick it back on. So you can't go like that. So close up, my eyelash was in all my photos. Well, I think the girl who crowned me kept her gloves on so when she crowned, the crown was stuck in her gloves. So as she was pulling away, it just kept on tilting. So I don't think I have any pictures of the crown straight. I think it's like real gangster, it's kind of like, yeah, it's like side tilt. So you have to kind of like balance it by tilting your head out. It was straight. I just had to sit like that. Have you guys seen the Netflix show The Crown, based on Queen Elizabeth? No. I've been watching that recently and it's just kind of got me thinking, the concept of the crown, aren't we kind of ridiculing the actual crown? Because think about how beauty pageants have become. But it really goes back to the old majesty days, the monarchy and the real crown. And I mean, do they think we're such a joke that we use this beauty pageant to show beauty? But what does it mean to have a crown and what does it mean to be a queen? What do you guys think about that? I mean, I think it's different for each representative of the crown and as long as the girl or the pageant and the organization live up to what that symbolizes, I don't see a crown. So what does that mean to live up to it? What do you feel you have the pressure of doing when you have that crown? Being a positive role model, just tomorrow. Right. Exactly. What you do with the crown really defines your character and it's not, I have a friend who says, who always says that she says it's not the crown who defines the girl, it's the girl who defines the crown. OK, so I mean, it's a huge responsibility. Right. Whether you like to or not, you're in the spotlight. You're in the limelight. And people will look at you. People are attracted to shiny things. That's just human nature. I mean, so what you do when you have that attention is very important because when I was little, just seeing people in crowns, I was watching. And I think as a little girl, as little as just the youth really look up to people. Right. Like that. So what you do with your crown really can make a difference in someone else's life. So how do you influence a young girl who aspires? They see, oh, look at the diddy. She's so pretty. She has a crown on her head. I want to be her one day. But she sees the beauty aspect only. How do you make a young girl understand what it really means to carry that weight and responsibility, not just the beauty aspect? I mean, I think there are a lot of other things that we do in the community that a lot of people don't see. And yes, they see the pageant aspect, but they don't see us going to feed the homeless, going to Waldorf and meeting with adopted children, yeah, reading to children at schools. And there are just so many things in the community that the title, I guess, and the queen in court are to uphold. And that's part of our quote-unquote job. And that's not the first thing people see, obviously. They don't know the behind-the-scenes. That's actually my favorite part about pageantry. I do it for the community service. I do it because having a title makes you more visible. And I have a platform, Bollifrey, Hawaii, USA. And with a title, it's more efficient than if I don't have it. So people, you have the power of attention. Right, exactly. And you have to use that wisely. They're celebrities. Yeah, they have a responsibility. Everyone's watching. And that carries on, right? Even if it's past your reign, you've always have a title once you've been crowned. And do you feel like you need to take that responsibility throughout your life? Sure, yeah. Even after you've passed the crown on, you're still a title holder. Right, right. What are some ways that you've seen people abuse that title or power? Have you seen, I mean, getting discounts? No, I'm just kidding. Wait, is that a bad thing? Goopon's out Walmart. Just bring his bottle bottle. Just bust your crown out of your bag and put it on before you have dinner or something. We've been at it as a Chinatown open market. What? So funny. What about boy issues? Because some, you know, you can attract a lot of attention being a beauty queen. But at the same time, there are some people who think, oh, she's on the pedestal. I can't reach her. I'd love to meet her, but I don't know how to approach her. You know, that kind of thing. There's a lot of intimidation that comes with the title, too. Have you guys had any problems with boys? No. I don't really, more so with little kids, because I think they're so, when they meet a princess or a queen for the first time, it's just like a Disneyland. I still get a Starstruck at Disneyland. Me, too. So no boy problems? Or did it affect your love life being a queen? Not with that? No. No? No? Yeah. People saw you as the real you after? Oh, I'm sure. I mean, I've heard stories from friends who are title holders, and they've said things like, people go up to their boyfriends. They say, you know, you don't deserve her. The boyfriends get a harass. But I mean, in terms of the actual title holder, I don't think. Or do you think as a reigning queen, you can't have any associations with gossip and relationships? So you guys have to kind of keep yourselves so clean that, you know, what do you think? I think you tried to. But like Steph said, I think all of that is much more attracted to you because of the position that you hold. And sometimes people use that to either judge you or to have all these preconceived notions when they don't know. I remember a vague memory of when I left after your crown and you have to walk out with all the public in your immediate crown. My boyfriend at the time from college was there in the audience with my family. And as I was walking out, it was almost like kind of a crossover like, see, this is my new life now. And I felt these flashes of my future. And he wasn't a part of it, which is not being ambitious on my side. But I felt like now is a different phase. It's something else now. It's a new chapter in your life. Yes, yes. And it wasn't intentional to say, OK, hey, I'm queen now. I can't be seen with you. I have nothing to do with that. But it was kind of weird how the crown did affect how you see your life moving forward. So Steph, yours is coming up another big pageant. Right. I know. This is a national pageant. Yes, it's huge. I'm so excited to be able to represent Hawaii as a national pageant. Actually, you mentioned there haven't really been that many representatives from Hawaii who made it through. Right. So actually, Darren's the last with trying to count on Hawaii to win the title. Wow. What is the history? How many from Hawaii have actually gone through? I have no idea. So just you. No, Steph, you did. I'm not from Hawaii though. We're talking like people from Hawaii, right? When you entered New York. I was from San Francisco. Oh, I see it. I don't know how many yet. You'd have to ask my sister Dana, who knows like trivia about every single pageant. You could ask her Miss Universe 1980, whatever, and she'll come up with the name. I'm probably the color of their evening gown. Oh, OK. Wow. No, I know it before Darrah's year, Hawaii used to win all the time. Oh. Yeah, it was. And then suddenly we had this drought. I don't know. Oh. I'm so great. I'm so great. But we always, you know, we need another Darrah. Wow, but you know, Steph's coming onto this. How do you feel about that upcoming new competition that there are ways to prepare? Or do you have any questions for Darrah? I mean, for both of you, how do you prepare mentally? I mean, I think I've always been good at preparing myself mentally and spiritually. But I mean, and physically, but I mean, anything else that? How about a big tip? Since we don't have that much time, each of you just give a big tip to yourselves and to each other of people who are going to be embarking on some huge competition, like the Miss Chinatown pageant, of what to do to prepare yourself and what it means to be a confident competitor. Well, for Miss Steph, I would just tell you, focus. I mean, you have it all. Like, you all can see this. She has it all. She's amazing, beautiful, smart, eloquent, all of that stuff. Just focus and be yourself. I mean, that's what my parents always told me. Do your best and be yourself. Yeah, thank you. I would, something like that, I would just focus on myself. And just focus on yourself. Don't worry about anybody else. Don't go stalking the other girls. You know, the less you focus on yourself, the more unprepared you become. Right, and be yourself. And you psych yourself out. You don't need that kind of energy. No, you've got the perfect energy, Steph. So we're going to wish you the best of luck in the upcoming Miss Chinatown USA pageant. Go Steph, yay!