 Okay, there he is dude. You want to know how you fix Q times chat. I'm re-rolling on a different server I'm not playing on Malboro anymore Look see it now. It's only a 44 person Q. I'm I'm level 23 we're gonna do our first dungeons today First we're gonna tank our first dungeons today. That was that was kind of a it wasn't a super long recap It was a little long, but it wasn't super long typically. It's like an hour How did you what? Why did you guys know I logged? Why did you guys know that I logged out here? How did you guys? That's hilarious. Okay Wait as Fandia television. No, this is not Wait, there's more coffee people here So here's what we have planned today. I'm gonna tank my very first dungeons So how do we do this just click on the entrance and you cue can I slash invite put on your regular gear before you go in? Look listen you look good you play good. It's just that simple. I'm the best thing that ever existed already This thing game music is really good. This is actually Final Fantasy 7. There was actually Final Fantasy 7 bad music The PlayStation one I guess at night time. There's no background music plays They're just kind of cool in a weird way. No no music playing at nighttime. It's kind of immersive But for stream, it's kind of weird, you know, oh wait what is a cutscene? But what is this? Linosha sastasha Wait, so we only have four people. Are we supposed to have how many people are in a party four of our dungeons? Okay, like listen recommended gear. I don't need all that. That's garbage. Okay. Let's do this tanks dance Dude, I'm the best thing already. They look at this So am I supposed to a wheel on how do I tell who it's targeting? Oh, right? Oh, okay, so target target target I'm I gotta get my my my muscle memory Re-adjusted in between the two games, but I'm trying to make my I'm trying to make which way do we go this way that way? Sir Matt. Oh I haven't discovered the dungeon yet. Okay Tank stance. I'm in tanks dance. Oh wait. I'm not in tanks dance. I thought I didn't I just hit tanks dance going into that first bowl Maybe I maybe I click it on accident But my mom bomb bomb bomb bomb. Oh, I love old nice Just button-match. I think not dude. It's all the skills Okay Okay, pull that I'm gonna pull more It's a little bit It's a little bit hard for me to track from targeting winning groups like this. I gotta get better at that Massive damage. That's what I'm doing. I'm doing massive tank. I'm doing massive threat Let's go here Okay, good. I've aggro on everything No time. I will say this I think I think the the animations are kind of way too dank in this game The animations are definitely a little bit way too dang. That's a problem with retail. Wow, too Are you gonna play the riot MMO? Yeah, I want to come down in 10 years. I'll probably try it Okay, blue coral formation. Oh Hold on There was a note at the beginning, but let's fan gas. Okay red green blue RGB B before G except after E R A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, R B, G, R, background Background Roy G. Biv, Biv, background. It's blue. Here's how they move in the distance Look, I'm a god gamer. I'm a god gamer. What do you guys expect? Chopper? I gotta get to the chopper A plundered Cavaliers hat has been added to the loot list. Ooh Captain Madison My leisure How did you find this place? I followed the quest idiot. What do you mean? You don't have to move much? No, I have to move. I have to move because here's the thing. I spin this way. Watch this If you spin with the sword it you get more force Oh with the Frick Try and catch me you two-legged landlubber the Frick. Are you serious you call me that? Positional mail-a's are gonna hit your guts, dude. Positional mail-a's are gonna thank me for making them better, okay? Missing loot loot is for losers. Okay, if you're good at the game, you don't need loot You just go in there with a t-shirt and a hat and say see my cat bitch. That's how it works What are you mad about the coffee, too? Why are you- why are these cat girls always scaring at me? How'd you make your character look like that? It's a mod. It's a mod. I got banned for it So I can't flip off any of this anymore Unlock the door to the captain's quarters. Ah The captain's quarters opens. Oh What shall I do to that cat? Oh, you're not the captain Let's run. Uh, aim It's a good attack Shadowtail reverb drops a wave rider gate key cool Oh my gosh, dude, the two and a half second global is actually totally noticeable. I've been playing vanilla wow for years Like dude, why is the global so long? It's always the retail players in wow going to classic that are like, oh my gosh one and a half second global I'm like, no man. You guys are just spurs Now here I am Uh-oh, hold on Run everybody cool My might you consider a parley. What is the parley? I thought parley was a I thought I thought parley was a vegetable Oh, that's parsley never mind Thanks dance wait did I hit my You know what I need to do? I need to I need to put this knot on a hotkey because I think I fat fingered it Oh Pop one check your popcorn Den the orga tooth. Oh frick. I didn't read that Okay, frick and never mind that wasn't okay I'm invisible Okay, you guys ready finless fools den the orga tooth murloc. Yeah, okay. Listen But this boss This is how this fight works. Okay What we need to do is I'm gonna go and I'm gonna tank him. I'm gonna run through him. Oh god Yeah, I stunned him. I stunned his thing Bubbles begin forming on the water surface Wait, where? Natural ripples do I pull them over here? Oh frick. Okay, that was bad taunting This one Oh, we already killed it. Oh, okay the round shield Blundered falchion Wait, so I got some good loot. I need those. I need those Wait, I got a new sword and shield I'm op That's my first green weapon dude And shield a boarded round shield leave duty leaving duty leaving duty I've been enjoying the game. It's really fun Yay, what Gross, what is happening here? I bet you don't have the slightest clue how to play this eyeball melting anime game Oh, sure You probably know that you can beat up enemies by clicking on them until they die But do you know how to find a static in your fc to help you prog uwu? I bet you don't even know what any of those words mean So sit down shut up and eat your gissel greens because i'm gonna teach you what the may have not know with Thy noobliness welcome to a crap guide to final fantasy The tank is the person in the front lines of every group leading the charge to inevitable party wipes Which is because you are the most important person in the party having slap fights with the boss Since everybody else is way too squishy to handle the post pounding patty cake You'll never see jimmy soft boots eyeing up the cloud of darkness with his two by four and scrigley tree branch But how hard can tanking be turn on your tank stance do your one two three combo and blame the healers when you die Right, that sounds like somebody who needs their short cue privileges revoked firstly tank stance You turn also tanking is the exact same as as it isn't wow this on to start gaining enmity What's enmity? It's where you shout at the bad guys a hit me They'll be paying attention to you so long as you're dealing damage So you better be dealing damage and not just having a staring contest if you don't then They're gonna start indiscriminately charging at the rest of the party like a dog in a movie theater If you are the designated main tank or in light parties the only tank make sure this is on If there is another tank in the party and you are the off tank make sure this is off Unless there's some other bad guys you gotta pull if you have conflicting stances with the other tank They will chuck their shoulder pads at you as a tank You should make sure the bad guys ass is facing the party as often as possible as indicated by the bright glowing Half-eaten donut underneath the target This is so that if the bad guy sneezes You're the only one getting down with the sickness and also if your party has anyone playing any jobs That particularly likes to clap them cheeks you've provided a bright shiny spanking space on top of this as a tank You are by Heidelin's blessings horrible at dancing Which is why you should move as little as possible once you've got the enemy's attention That way the party can continue to whap the one-less without having to chase down the bad guys glorious booty Just as well because you have control of where the baddies are you control how useful everybody else is So if somebody puts down a useful aoe stop fucking running away from it Now that you have the baddies attention and are in a nice cozy poking position You don't have to worry about anything else right that's what I thought you'd say you dumb fucking horse Believe it or not when you die It's not entirely the healer's fault just mostly their fault that little bit of responsibility you have is based on how well you can juggle mitigation What's mitigation? It's the buttons that make the bad guys slaps hurt less that you sometimes press once a subscription and never think about again You ever wonder what you have several of those buttons that all seem like they do the same thing That's because you're supposed to space them out over the course of the fight some healers Don't have to sacrifice their entire manifold and firstborn child to get your frail ass through the dungeon Remember not to bust your tanking load all at once or else you're gonna feel a lot of shame when you're all out of juice And the boss still wants to go about four more rounds Every tank also has a press x to not die button that can be used to survive any devastating attacks Or if you're a really aggressive paladin who drew every enemy in a dungeon ever and don't want the healer to hire a hitman on you As for what your limit break does tanks are thicker than the average disney mom to the point your honky chon donkey Bahonk I was a paladin to the same in this game too Protecting them from damage up to a whopping 80% at lb3 the thing is unless you're a high-end player You'll probably be using tank lb as frequently as a good player rolls high on loot overall You have four flavors to choose from punk grunge meadow and christian rock There's warrior for big axes big anger big self healing and if you like to do fell cleaves again and again and again and again If you prefer more brooding than cruding the dark knight is great for doing your best guts impression You get a huge ass sword goopy black energy particle effects and the literal best mitigation in the entire game But it's balanced because they get the worst invulnerability button in the entire game You press it and then it makes you die gun breakers call the tank But everybody knows it's just three dps in a trench code as designated by the fact you get a fucking gun and your swings explode But you have to be a hardcore gamer since it requires a lot of cartridges And finally the paladin who tries to pretend they're a healer and caster but only when the other healers and casters are looking But fuck all that because the most important thing is that you get the mother fucking sword and shield, baby Try getting behind this wall of holiness, bitch. Now you know how to play tank. You're welcome Okay, so I have a question now. What is it tank?