 We are also live on our website that is www.kbc.co.ke This is power talk and this morning we are going to be talking about women. Should women shoot their first shot? This conversation is quite interesting because on this particular discussion we shall be having a lady and a gentleman joining me this morning and for many people they normally wonder is it okay if a woman makes the first move on a man? If a woman proposes, if a woman is the one who makes the decisions in the family setting what if the woman is the one who calls all the shots she decides who does what, them about the money what if a woman is the one who makes all the decisions and not the man? Should women make or shoot the first shot? Ladies and gentlemen, I am joined by none other to my extreme right Doctor Mbuvi. Yes sir. Dr Mwenewe. Pleasure being here baby. This is Nasi Karumusana my brother. Asante sir. It's been a while since we last met. I think it's 2019, before the advent BC. Before Corona. Before Corona BC. BC. Thank you my brother and next to me I am joined by none other than Queen Masi. She is the vice chair at the Furaha Foundation Alumni Association wonderful lady here Karumusana. Asante sir. Thank you for providing time. First time having both of you on power top. My pleasure man. I hope we shall have a good time. It should be grand. And remember to participate with us whenever you are watching us from tell us your thoughts about this should women shoot their first shot? Do you agree? Or as a man? Well to jikaza kumana umi. Mimimi ni mimimi. Hakunom prabaena ni katia. What do you think about this? Dash like is about to show. Atram maguko. Is where you can find me. Pia umezapata hao pia. Because lazmo wataki dogo. I will see you. Yes. Mabaka na upi usajomide. And you know Zote. Dr Mbuvi. DR Mbuvi. Yes sir. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter Zote. Zote. Yes. All my social media platforms which is Queen Masi and All of them Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Is the name Queen um Yes. It's my legit name. Yes. On my national ID. Yes, it is. Queen Masi. Yes, Queen Masi. Our mothers gave us good names. So I'm wondering when she's in the shop somewhere and somebody is ordering for a queen kekana kuna. Queen anapinuka. Case. She's into the board in a round. See here. How on that board? Queen. Now I want us to start with you Mbuvi. Yes. Should a woman shoot their first shot? That question is very tricky. Cause it's like we are asking, I look at it this way. It's like we are asking should they change their format of shooting their first shot in some cases. What do you mean their format? Thank you for that question. I remember being told I'm sorry by two ladies when I was in campus. And this lady, they're talking together. And one is like, you see that kia over there? Give me three weeks I'll have them. Dema na samivu. Dema na samivu. Now what we noticed was after two weeks it is the guy pursuing the lady. So it's the modus of, we only shoot the shot by saying can I take you out. But they present themselves somewhere within half. You see me modus operandi. Modus operandi. I don't know which one you're asking because I've been shooting this shot for a very long time only in their own way. Okay so it is a guy who pursued the woman. The guy pursued the woman. But the woman made sure the guy would see her so that she can pursue her. So in that case who has shot the first shot? According to what we see the guy shot the first shot. But in actual fact. So which one are we saying? Dema kukati? In that format of theirs yes. I want to take you out. It sounds strange. Kwen. Yes. Can you shoot the first shot? Ones approach the movie. Just as an example. That movie I like you. Can we date? No. Reason being like he has said we women, the way we are created the way God created us. We are not created to to be the heads. We are created to be the neck and to be nachans. So if I want something if as an individual I am seeing I can nacham bovi I can change how bovi works I can change how bovi talks I can change how bovi dresses because one I am interested in bovi but bovi how only he is not seeing he is not seeing we don't manipulate we just set our minds and say it is a movie that I am interested in it is a movie that I want to be with so come in and come in and nachame kawacha yungu so we just present ourselves we come say hi but now disclaimer we do not personally we cannot go and tell a guy bovi kuna wajunakangubeni nice we can go out for coffee no I cannot do that. It is now for him to I want the ladies to talk to me this morning ladies if you like a guy how do you behave around him what do you tell him how do you talk to him or do you know some ladies are very funny once they get interested in you they begin to be hostile by the way I have noticed that any unona usyana han yungelishi vizuri anakutu any they are so rude to you and you wonder how many she likes you listen this is what happens this is what happens different ladies have different ways of how they express themselves it is the same as you gentlemen you have your own different ways on how you are going to tell a woman I like you because not all men will just come straight forward and tell you kwen I like you let us go out for coffee they will come and tell you ah by the way that is how they do it let us go bede kuna function kwa game in that time a woman will notice this guy is interested in me but that is if the guy is interested the same way I was coming now to ask ladies the same way when we are interested into someone different women have react differently but for the type of I am myself I will come I will be nice to you but try checking up on you are you fine but not on a frequent basis but you find now the other ladies that think that when now they become hostile is when they get noticed so when a woman you can find a woman when a woman is that hostile it means there is a certain amount of attention that she needs and you are not giving her so what does she do so that you can notice me apart from me being you check very well if you go and try and see and talk to these ladies that are they tend to be hostile you will find that there is another part of this women just compose yourself go talk to them she is not that hostile she is actually some nice person she is a very good person but you see you have to do hostile you would like her even if you realize that she is actually into you to see beyond that hostility because there are some that don't know maybe because of their upbringing maybe their upbringing was not a good one maybe things just went on in their family and that is the only way they could express themselves so you might find in their upbringing is different all they are just others who are just mad women I agree with the last one I agree with the last one but I experienced a lot let's say it has not been easy I like the stamina I like the stamina it is a lot you know the thing is one day we need to have women on sets because as men we need to understand the mind of a woman so complicated she says this meaning another she says yes to me no no to me yes maybe to me don't try you are saying women behave differently there are some who are mad I don't want to use particular terminologies but but at the same time those will come now when you find yourself in this circumstance where and I am going to give different examples starting with a campus lady a campus lady now these campus chicks they normally get they get attracted to particular set of man some could be rowdy some could be alcoholic some could be bad boys so they end up getting trying to gain their attention mutu manya kukampo na haji afaeni ini rapara ni dey mutu na anataka kongena chali unge bad boys afaeni imagine unni sista ako where me what I would say is because the best I believe relationship should be founded on a very solid friendship because those are not to some as different zone or anything but very solid friendship so you can know this person you can know their temperament their nature everything hang around that circle and be careful also here this person is basically the average of the people they hang around with so if this guy is hanging around some weirdos chances are probably that's the kind of person they are but I would say healthy doing the healthy dating in the sense of activities like what she is saying somebody says tupiti apa tukunye chai amatupi afaeni ka function that way she will end up knowing what kind of person this is spend time you're not really spend how are you spending time? you know you can go with a friend hang out as friends a quorum maybe for lunch you join a katebo and you're quite a number it's not just you just to learn and your friend to also help you out in pointing some things because you have a crush on somebody it's very easy for it to be fungwad you're so into the person you can't see flaws and everything you're not asking out but it's like a social you're in the social space together a lady who is in kapa saizi she makes the first move she likes this particular lady but she doesn't know the guy is the one and he has brains and everyone is like I agree with what she is saying you first of all learn this person try and understand how do you do that as long as it's group discussions mostly if you're in the same class if you're having ladies we know how to find our way to I want to be with there manipulate yourself you just swap but in a good way and go and just be there so as you're discussing making and conversing and maybe talking about schoolwork because mostly in campas it's not necessarily we have to be studying we can go we can decide to have a hangout and just go and have a good time so during that time it is when you get to learn that person as an individual I say that I say I don't date strangers I have to first of all know who you are before I get myself that you like I have what did you do we talk we talk on a daily basis okay but at first let me say it was not on a daily basis it was a weeks time 2 times a week if I'm seeing for instance if you're having I see something on your status and it's not good I come in full force you're saying a lady should not make the first move that correct yes based on the society we are in right now okay wait question when you're seeing the first move be clear the first movie going and approaching a guy movie I like you can we go for a date or the first impression of let me parade myself in front of this guy so that he can notice that I am here but as long as it's a move as long as it's a move regardless of the direction ladies outside here it's a bit tricky it's quite tricky it is quite tricky but if you like a guy you like a guy apuakunanga going back but now look at how you're going to approach this guy at the end of the day ask yourself who is going to be the lead of this if you end goal is a relationship who is going to be the lead of this relationship now I want to give yet another particular example before I touch on that if a lady makes the first move does it mean that she has lowered her dignity it commit a lot of things to different people it commit so many things if you make the first move and I want to go out with you it's deemed unnatural in the African setting in the society in the African setting most of the African setting so all kinds of alambias are like kwenyumtyakonani what's up with this guy and immediately a guy's interest goes down kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa másos kwa mayisanda mdoing una You're right. He's a nice dude. He was an amazing guy. So did you still talk? Yes. I'll create friendship with you and if I like you, I'll like you in terms of friendship maybe that potential interest that could have been there now has flicked off. It's so natural. I used to think I have no issues with that vibe because I'm thinking maybe she might have noticed that I'm in an ideal situation. Maybe wuja ona, samu kwenyesha wuna fuku omono karelazo. Okay, this can be something. But in reality it doesn't quite work that way. Mika ako desperate sama aku digitya ke meru. Do you sama? It doesn't even get there. It just feels unnatural. I think it is because in the mind space of a man, as much as I'm not in one, but in a mind space of a man, there is that sense of pride that a man gets when he goes and approaches a lady and tells her, because now you see for you guys it really needs courage. I will not say if you really really like this girl and you already have usha jiji fokusti ona taka. It is all about uji leta pamoja, uji compose and then now you present yourself. So it has pride but now when a woman comes and does the same, to other men it might look as desperation, but in reality I have actually experienced with some of my friends when I was scared. And the guy tells me, this tiki came and told me, we want a taka to be out. It is scary. It is scary. A man gets so scary to be like, one first things first. So that is the first question that comes to your head. What does this lady want? It is not much at all. It is not much at all. It is not much at all. It is not much at all. And you know for those who are watching us from home, maybe you can tell us who is who. It is already approaching me. Ladies are approaching me. We are interested. We are changing positions. You know what I wonder and I really want to understand this particular angle. The society has, there is a way we are trained. There is a way our forefathers, our grandfathers. There is a way we used to align ourselves in terms of the principles we have, in terms of the culture and the virtues we are employing on ourselves. But now times have changed. People are on social media. Dating up. I say, should we accept it because of the changes that have come due to time? And now we are dating up. I know. Dating up. Ladies are the ones who approach you. And mostly, not that they are bad, but I see an instance where ladies are seeing it as a normal thing. We are employing other cultures because of changes in time. Should we embrace changes in time? Should we say that sequence is kama kitambo? I think it all goes down to a person's personality. You as an individual, what do you believe in? Because not all of us have been raised up the same. Maybe my parents have raised me up to, if you want something, go and get it. Be a gogeta. So it does not have to be specified, be a gogeta here and try not to be a gogeta here. Exactly. So they just say, go be a gogeta. So at the end of the day it falls. You know women empowerment is... Thank you. And when we come to speak about women, that's another one topic. Another one topic. And a power do man. I will go for this girl because I am empowered. Exactly. So it all narrows down to how have you been brought up? What do you believe in? So if my parents have taught me their parameters where you cannot cross, their boundaries where you cannot cross. Take your time first of all. And parents actually. Parents actually talk to their children. Because if you are not able to teach your child and to just tell your child what is wrong, what is right, what should you do, what should you not do. That is where we go and cross the line. Let me talk about culture. Changes in culture. When Amanda was in the US, just as an example. Because the cultures are different. Should we embrace other cultures? Should we embrace modernization? We have no option. We must. We are contemporary. We cannot be African. Yes, but then also your values. Like she said, your culture, your values. The values that you carry. How much of them do you want to compromise on them? Life is about compromise. How much of your values are you going to compromise? For example, why are you dating first and foremost? Those are very critical reasons to look at. If I am to date personally like I am Bovi, I will date in lieu of it leading up to raising a family and so on. So now, here I am, the simple nature of names. My name is Victor Bovi Mutune. I am looking for a Mrs. Bovi to establish the Bovi Kingdom. So I am the one who is going to look for the parameters that Bovi Kingdom. So I am looking for what values do I get from this other person that will raise that Bovi Kingdom to a certain level. You get. That's why it looks funny when it's the other way around because now you won't have a guy like now what did you say your second name was? Queen. Second. Nasi. M-A-S-I. Sanem. Jastas. Jastas. Now I can't go there and we can't be called Mrs. and Mr. Jastas. It's going to be Bovi. Mr. and Mrs. Bovi. So I think naturally already that that name itself, why as you to think in terms of it's my family. I mean you are not calling every short but it's my family. If it's my family, I know what values I want within that family. And what kind of person I want within that family. So when it's the other way around and they are calling the short so now it looks weird. For dating sites, people date for different things. There are one night stands, there are all those things all together. That's a whole totally different ballgame. But if I look at it in terms of where I come from, culture and how I've been brought up really plays a role or what I believe in. And how much of it? Like compromise and what is uncompromisable. That's actually where I was coming from. How much are you going to compromise and how much are you going to accept? How much are you going to reject? A lady tells you that hey the way you are brought up is not the way I am brought up, the way I see things is different from the way you see things. In my world when a woman is out she pays the bills or the man can pay the bills. When it comes to certain types of responsibilities that each individual should be having that is in relation to a female and a male. Personally I don't see if it's a problem when we have gone out for a date and I feel like paying the bills. I'll go daches, I don't mind. Because at the end of the day atatuki kuza kwa nyumba it will not be all responsibility to be drawn to the man. I want us to give a different example now. I want it to make you understand this. When you talk about women making the first move don't put it inside a box and think just nine attack at a beginning these things deeper than that. Now, giving an example who makes the first move when it comes to making decisions of the family to make a an event and we have a decision that needs to be made maybe in a family event I love to know what should happen. In some settings a lady will consult the man but a pata they will ask some lady won't feel like consulting. They will say I will call the shots, I will make the decisions in this particular setting is that okay with you? When you come together you put your minds together. There are things you can actually say these are the backstops with you. I believe this way I could be right, I could be wrong. This is Mbuvi's family. But that home kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani kata ni kalagani So there are some things that she is allowed to make the first move and make decisions Straight up and you've trusted her in that that's why you got into your life. But some men don't accept that they are like the alpha males if you want to change something I must be told At alpha wanga na omega we say who is equal to alpha your alpha To omega And from way back it has been the home is for the woman So if you are an alpha male why do you need a woman in your house if you can do everything in that why do you need a woman in that house I had to make a move because as a man you are not doing anything I had to make a move because as a man you are not doing anything Now you see in that mindset when the way he has said when two people come together it means there are things that they agree upon and it means there are certain decisions that cannot be made without consulting and there are those that if I go ahead if I go ahead and I have not asked if for example I am married to a movie it's not a must I ask movie the same thing we can live a very bad example we can live because some ladies they will just call the shots they will make that move because as a man it relates to how you understand and keep pointing in every relationship communication thank you if you want to hear you don't hear what you want to hear you sit with your partner down and listen listen to your partner so that even if there is a call that has been made and at the end of the day there are some shots that need to be some calls and some things that need to be responded to you need to understand your partner it does not just come down to we still asimani muwami and you find in such cases there will be a lot of conflicts a lot of things that could have been resolved as a matter of just sitting down and talking we have instances where it is the lady who decided no no she is the one who decided when to get married now it is the same thing it is the same thing the way you have spoken and said we have alpha men we also have alpha women they know the way they have been brought up it is for them themselves to make the shots they have been taking care of themselves you see these women that call themselves independent ladies I am not against I am also an independent lady but it depends to what extent so you will find I am in the house I do not want to care about I do not want to care about the rent of that house as long as I know I can afford that house it is fine we can live in not considering the mindset of my husband it all cuts down a guy who lives in a house he can live in a house he can live in a house with a culture he can live in a house with a culture what is happening here that is what she is saying communication are you okay with it there are some ladies who decide kwa moa whether you are okay or not they will buy the ring I will give it to you why are you shocked look at this they will buy the ring and I come and get down and they will buy the ring will you marry me yes I will and look at it like this any trick any trick and can search a setting work that setting it is the woman who proposed marriage one of the most complicated settings but if these two have an understanding if these two have an understanding and let me give you a very good example where we have a married couple and the wife is earning more than the husband and you will find actually you will never even know there are family setups that you will never know I was actually going there you will never know you will never know I will receive a proposal and there are tricks because one the pride of this man or the ego of this man he will be diminished he will be like at the back of your head and you see that's a problem that we see with many ladies they say we have been dating for I don't know how many years and he is not proposing to him or do I just buy a ring and he says come on she can buy a ring to pose to me you see a buyer by the way I think that's where she was going you see a buyer let's suppose you are really going through a rough patch when she is in a better place he said if you want to die you just have a rough patch it's not a bad thing she bought you the ring okay technically she bought herself yes and no she bought into that relationship investing there is her and there is what we are investing in so now we could end up delaying what we want to invest in just because I am flat and she has the means so depending on her communication she can decide let's once we have a process we will get where we want to get it will accelerate some things why should that stop us and she has the means which makes me wonder if such relationships last I have seen some couples they say no she is the one who approached me she is the one who came to me she is the one who proposed Mary it gives you chills I don't know as you see she is the one who goes on one knee she goes down why me? it's tricky but I think in our private conversations she can say I see it deep and by the time you are proposing somebody walks away laughing by the time you are getting there there is such a communication you know who you are all your hearts are ready when you are proposing you took a lot of things for granted you didn't understand your person and where their heart is so there is a lot of things you actually took for granted but the time you propose that's why you see proposals because in a sense at the back of their mind kwa mefika apo now you've done it so you get what I'm saying give another example you had mentioned it earlier on you both have different levels of income but in this scenario the woman earns more than the man does it give her power to make the first move on any financial decision? no it doesn't any financial implication in the relationship does it give her the right and the power and the privilege to make them? no it doesn't because I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine he told me money in any setup it's a facilitator for example when you have a jug of water and what can that jug hold it holds water it holds liquids so if marriage is a certain container you put money inside there that money it is for facilitating it is not money should not be giving any woman power to step over a man I'm saying this and disclaimer I also activate for women's right but now it should not be giving you any room to actually feel that you're superior and make some financial decisions if you love your husband to most importantly if you respect your man there is no way you're going to make a very huge financial decision without involving your partner going to buy a microwave in the house that is fine it is not a must I call you I want to buy a microwave but now thinking of something of I want to go buy a plot I want us to build a home I should involve my partner so you as a woman earning a lot of money does not give you the justification of feeling that you're on top of a man because at the end of the day who is the lead of that family which surname do you have do you have your father's surname or this man's surname do you have this man's surname I like how she's putting it even the reverse it doesn't mean that now because the guy has money more than a chick it should step on it's not supposed to be like that it's supposed to be you're building something together you know what I'm wondering Bovie we are talking sense we are talking sense but for ground between the difference this guy hajuwi hajuwi you see sometimes I don't know if it is women who are the ones who go so fast they are faster than men or what but this woman wants you to start a particular business you've not yet started it she's been complaining about you starting a business she wants you to buy this piece of land you plot it in the same way and how you figure it out and if you have money you can buy it no that's sorry for cutting your shirts and it's okay but now that goes to when you guys started dating okay what type of a man do you want in your life what type of a man would you accommodate because as an individual you need to understand yourself before I say yes to this man can this man reason out and see that we can do a business reason out and listen to reasons and listen to reasons can we start a business with this person can I make a home with this person in the case that they don't reason they can't make decisions will you make choices for them you will have to make choices for them and you are going to have to make very hard choices for them at the end of the day both of you will benefit mimi I will make that choice for you and it's not like I have just woken up and go to make that decision I have actually been talking you through it and I am saying you are wasting time 2 years down the line me I will go you are wasting time love happens here love happens here we always think love happens here but it happens here now for all intents and purposes we are telling women to submit isn't it you need to know what brand is this you are submitting just don't submit to any brand submission people have never understood what this vibe of submission is it's just order of A comes before B it doesn't mean A is more powerful than B A is more powerful than B in some things B is more powerful than A in some things I tend to think when I think I think the amount of power that women have is way more than what men have but absolute power corrupts absolutely but power needs to be under submission no matter when you both understand those things kufu ovisuri ni easy you've heard them say we can only single task or double task they can multitask we have the power to see one unidirection one thing at a time but unfortunately there are things sub things we don't get to see we ignore when they come in they think unidirectionally unfortunately they are never able to know which is bigger or which is smaller that's why at times we start saying ananuna over something petty to them is not petty so now when you combine these brains together ulu kwa na moja anakuja na zingine 15 na ziko better than he but you know how to make purpose when you pick so at the end of the day you made the final decision but it could actually be based on a thought she gave you that communication is so key so a woman needs to understand is this a person who sound sound of mind but also can listen to doesn't feel intimidated if it's an idea that is better than he is I want us to take a glimpse at what's taking place in our social media platforms remember we've made a post on our Facebook page that is at Y254 channel on Facebook Y254 drop in your comment on the comment section Chinya Pichaito you will see a very interesting photo of this lovely lady and gentleman here in studio let me just read ok these are many kuna trouble waise ni sove gani bring it up Timo na nape kuna chero na nape na kato na nape na pesa sana jesus spoke about money more than heaven and hell money is very money is very important in the olden days in our cultural time so women should love money in the sense they are looking for money is security in the olden days the big strong guy who can protect the home was the one who women used to go for who they can have stability with we can go for people with good vision so many comments after the break we will come back and we will touch on that bring it up ok take the break one Timo masama take the break one take the break first we break very fast I know you like coffee let's take that short break we'll be back in a bit should women make the first move the first decisions should they call the shots what do you think about this this is the power talk show at Ramaguko why 254 channel after this break we'll be back in a bit after this to talk wuzia tena dowari drum why 254 imagine and this is power talk thank you very much for keeping it to why 254 if at all you are just joining us we are talking about women making the first move is it advisable should we embrace change is it all about the women what is it all about keep the comments going I am seeing so many feedback we are getting so many comments on our facebook page head over to our facebook platform the hashtag is power talk show on twitter at Ramaguko and that's why 254 channel Timo, let's bring it up Timo, let's bring it up Timo, let's bring it up Timo, let's bring it up Timo, let's bring it up Timo, let's bring it up Timo, let's bring it up yeah France Prince love has no limits they should make their shots it all depends on a man's mentality dunk it Danmak this is a clue you need clues I started watching Jules so let's bring it up to the camera where you've come in movie Sam I am 19 years old Jules is 19 years old can I hear thank you so much say hello to the team Say, there is, oh by the way hi, I want to say there is no harm in women making the first move, but so unfortunately we live in judgmental society whereby anyone doing so is deemed to be desperate or a joker. Well woman may not necessarily make the first move literally but she can do something that encourages conversation between her and the man. She has a mutual attraction too. Honestly speaking making the first move is hard even for men is like taking a journey to a non-designation in the wilderness. You aren't sure who to find whether you will meet hostility or a hostile community or perhaps you will experience an welcoming reception. When a man approaches you, be kind to him. If you like him and he is as good as making the first move, in the end who cares, who did as long as your relationship is robust? I like what that guy is saying, it goes towards the end. At the end of the day it's not even really about who makes the first move. Most of the relationships I have been in, it has never been like can we date, naji pata bina date. Kus we enjoy each others company, naji pata muka pamoja already. So it's naturally just flows like a river. There are many comments Timo, you will bring them up on the screen as you continue this conversation. But I am seeing so many comments people watching from different places, tell us where you are watching us from. I want them to bring them up on the screen. Now let's continue this conversation. Women making the first move is broad. Before we went on a break I wanted to touch on something, but there is something vilely I recommend up on the screen. Which we should touch on. And she was asking, is it all about gender or personality? I think I got it right. Gender or personality. In the sense that there are some people who are just quiet. We are not talking about the story. They are quiet, they have, and see my kwausa, they are okay, that is just who they are. So as a woman it is up to you to approach him, mkatiye, propose, and you do you. What do you think about that movement? Quiet people are not, they are just quiet in public. When it's you and them there is a lot to talk about. So there is nothing like personality there? Personality is there. It's expressivity. Personality is expressivity. The other person will still express themselves in their own way. Not necessarily as loud mouth as I would be. But you will find that they communicate. They may say less but communicate a lot. So at the end of the day it's that communication that's key. So what do you think? Onea umegina or manya maza? So as a woman just? It's like you say an introvert. A person who is completely introverted does not talk it does not. I would consider myself as an introvert. No you are not. This is career. You might have subdued extroverts. No I have put career aside. I have put a career aside. And would you as a indie? I would say indie. Who do you want to see? An introvert, an introvert. It's not necessarily that they are introverted to everyone. They have conversations. They talk to people. I don't know what you are saying. You find a lady who is so outgoing. The husband. Amemiya maza. And then when you come to hear the story. It is actually the man who talks. Who vibes. How did you come together? Because people are perceiving a movie as an introvert. It is not the same as perceiving him as my husband. Because we talk, we have conversations. It's not necessarily format to just. Although there are those exceptions. This man is not an introvert. I have a friend who is like that. He is not an introvert. But now this lady because she is an introvert. Because she is an introvert. She just came and told me. I like you. And what do you think? Is it okay? Are you comfortable? The guy is like okay. I don't know what you are saying. But I know. So you see. So this woman should actually be in a higher level. To understand the personality of this individual. And you might find they may actually have a very good family. A very good relationship at the end of the day. Let me add something there. So the guy will. Let me add something there based on my own nature. As far as everyone is concerned I am a super sanguin. But in my own space I am introverted. The people I like in my life. More often than not must be introverted. Not extrovert. Because I am extroverted. Because of the career I do. The kind of music I do. There is this public image. That's a public image. So if you shouted me from across the road. I'll shout back. But in my house. My day was not even. They just here I live here. I quiet. I just know the moment I step out of my gate. I have to be all this loud guy. That's me. But inside introverted. So to put a womb to introverted here. Kwa nyumba akuna freedom of expressivity. Kuna wad kaiyo. What? Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia. So the nature, the personality doesn't limit you. It's just now you need a space away. To be able to express yourself. And which brings me to ask this question. And I alluded to it earlier on. Mumawana. And now you are in a relationship. And you know in every culture we have the norms that are to be followed. Dawari. Time to take dowari mifika lakini this guy. Hanyiti. He's not concerned. And in some cases the lady asks. When are you going to take. When are you going to come see my folks. When are you going to take dowari home. But the guy is not making any decision. Is it okay for the woman to choose. Let me just make the move. No. Ula na chiza na yo. It's communication. Question. Naniya nao amu ingenes. Who is marrying the other. Yes. But the system is coming from. It's communication. So for you na zema it's. If I take a man or a partner. In this case. No I'm also. I'm still also in a sense in her point. But now she needs this thing. Expandited. So what you do is. So what you do is. So what you do is. So what you do is. So what you do is. So. So. So what you do is. We can't give it to labor. So what you do is. So what. So. So this. So then. But. So so. So you do this we have. To have a woman for your. Every woman. Right. Some women. Going tonamo. The doctor. Go ahead.ziu kisa wwutisha le kwega, nii kwa kwa kwa kunj amanitали. Mitishaforubu nii tiltedil Uni chi maizutu nii koni, por原因 nii bo personalized dalini torawon? tuwa zikiale na, maza nubifu nabiru, maza puni lau Umi na rata uami, katakumpi na kwa? Umi na nafutu naze Umi na naze Umi na naze Umi na naze Umi na naze Umi na naze Umi na naze Umi na naze Amenyamasa. Amenyamasa. Unona hilti itrova tumesama? Itrova. The Bible says, Solomon says, he has never understood a man's way into a medium's heart. Tjaba hilewa. Because us women, we know how to get. If you are my man and I understand you very well and I love you. You have a press. Then you have the senior helper, because the senior helper. I think I have a press. That's why it's women who are supposed to press. Or we pressed it instead. I have a question. There are no people who understand what Solomon is saying. He has never understood. He has never understood what he is saying. We have you covered. What you are trying to mean is, how a man from different people from different walks of life and this young median who knows nothing, who is innocent and then his man comes and tells this woman I love you. And then this woman just says yes. And that is something, that is nita ga chemistry. Because at the end of the day, how am I supposed to love someone that I one I have never lived with, one I have just met, we have just like known each other. It is, it kind of gets, it's like to turn better. Hai sasa, muna itua, muna itua queen. You know that person, it's just that I look at you like what's wrong with this person. Are you normal? Exactly. So, so mesa ma ningubu. Kwa zema hiyo, hai ita to live. It's tricky but I know the ladies will feel pressure because the value proposition, especially from home now looks like k, the value. Now the lady has the power to buy a few cattle. She will she buy? If she notices the kagai is because of it's not decision in memlemya nika kitu kame kata. I think it can work together. You cannot together laugh but I remember disclaimer. Yes, cover your man. If you know your man is how you working, if you know your man, nika kitu to kwa na yo togen, cover your man. Usine kumua nika, wunanya kwa na do not do that. This is a man that you love, this is a man that you respect, this is a man that you want to stay with. This is where I have an issue with women who make the first move. When you make the first move dunia nzima ita jua wunanya jua nimi mi no nimi mi no nimi nwa ii nyomba. Wunanya nimi mi no nimi mi no nili propose wunanya nimi mi no nimi mi fanya kwa man no me ma ii yuko. Listen, do tofiki hapo, you as a man, vinesit na samanga we see red flags, you as a man, you should be able to see there is a red flag here and be able to point it out because before you get tofiki hapo, you should be able to dress, I picked you up, I cleaned you up. There is always that red flag that you see and most men ignore it. And after you have ignored it, utala wunanya. Now that she talked about Solomon, Solomon said catch the small foxes. Thank you. So when you're relating there are some small signs that you'll need to see and try and understand why is this off. Yes. Catch the small ones. The big ones are not an issue because the big ones I know are issues and you accept. Uru kwa kwa kwa kitu ingine if you're not careful with them? Miriam we gulu kwa je Facebook wale amituma comment it's not always about who does what. If it works out, let's concentrate on that and build the relationship. Joshua wandukusi anasama watching Miriam anasama ita As long as it works out. That is why we said initially about communication and understanding each other. If we understand each other, then we can understand. Remember it's you and her or her and him against the world. It's just the two of you. Ni nini. So you're facing all these things pamoja. If we're one strong team, I don't have any yet except those who are through with my relatives. But in-laws can actually by meaning good be actually a thong in your flesh if you guys are not together in tandem. Let's talk about that. In-laws. We are in a position where now the ones who come home he said in some kujaku wa tembelia nyubani in the first is how do you handle that situation? Ni wa gaini wami fika and you know your guy hana kitu kami isha maa dami fika kujua na kujya. You know sometimes they like surprise visits. Kujui na kujya kujua na kujya as a woman what do you do? Should you make that move of handling this in-laws? Because as a man they will feel as though they are out of Siba when you're in Yumba they are the ones who should come and chair that meeting kujua na kitu chini kwa kai, kwa mani kongia the woman is on who is now talking we have women who do that they sit, they chair those meetings and they talk the husband is kapa kando ananya maaza doesn't have money doesn't have the ability to make the hard choices In such a setup I would say when this woman was in a space of where she wanted to get married she did not want to get married to a person that would actually submit to haku kua rediye I want a husband for people to know I have a husband I want a family for people to just know I have a family but now that alpha figure in her head has spoiled she does not exactly she has taken the responsibilities kama nifanans these things was inna zanga kwa sabia pesa mani is always one common factor hana to pesa so haizika kunulia yongo kwa zazi kakitu kwa kiki kuja lezima but you see now kiki kuja kwa hiwa point and you know your husband does not have cash I'm speaking in the dimension of your husband kwa na iwa angetoa so I'm not married but you take your husband I have seen that happening with my parents go have that little bedroom discussion tell your man I know you don't have cash but now I have this just take this ATM it is our money I have said initially man is just a facilitator of any relationship or marriage or life so talk to your person come as I have said you cover your man most of you know he is our hardworking person cover your man kama nilezi kama nilezi kama nilezi I do not trust him exactly if you are a lazy person a person who is doing well and now they are lazy maybe kuna kivuna maharas so now you with a woman backing her up can conquer the whole world at least as a principal I know so how we will mahi atatulia he will just keep on realising He was dead long, I have seen I remember a friend of mine got married Union was not enough, even a wedding kek was not available Bidi aftah a few weeks after that we went映ha Gherumi pazumik award Kiki kajh toca na wending Now first time the folks were coming to visit the home That's a prize thing Gena there was no seats fistia kwen kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa kwa k Girls started their own Hotel But the woman knew how to deal with it And bring her the best together If she has a vision that she can print in cloth Then she will be a fuller I have no idea how to measure the size I want it to go Let's work like this 1 2 3 4 5 You have a plan You'll be fine There's something you had mentioned earlier For some women So that is a very good question and it affects a lot of ladies or even men that have been raised up by single, same gender parents. So for such a setup, if it's a woman, she's a female, she's alpha, she only knows control upon her life, nothing else. You as a man, you need to understand this woman because if you do not understand where she has come from, muta kwa muna collide, each and every time you will be colliding, muntaka kwa fanyahi, muntaka kwa fanyahi, so you should understand this person. And that is why we have things to do with cancelling. Go for cancelling, understand this woman. I like the way she's saying that because you cancelling, but not necessarily cancelling. When you're waiting to get married, when you're waiting to date, to relate, do as much research as you can. All of us in life are limited in one way or another based on the culture or background we come from. Here we are talking about marriage and we are not married. That means we've been researching because we intend to get married. We've studied various weddings, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, strengths and seen what can I pick, where am I like, I know where I'm lacking. So by the time you coalesce with somebody, you know where their strengths are and they compliment you and you can go together. Now I want to wrap it up, just to give just one example. We have single mothers who are trying to look for husbands. Now, from what I have seen, they need to have that particular figure in their lives because they want to settle down. It's a single parent. Now you see most of these single mothers, apart from those who make the moves. They ask you maybe you can go out. They are normally very, for lack of a better term, flexible. What would be your advice to such? They are flexible because they already know what they want. Yes, they already know this is what I want, this is what I need from a man. So let me go talk to this man. Mostly to the single. But now be careful, just don't go to just talk and just say whatever you want to say. Make those moves first. I'll tell you how we view single mothers. We find them more real than single mothers, than the real people. Because they are real, they are real them. So, what is panic? I'm a product of my mom was single mother with me and she got my dad. And before my dad is like my best buddy. So it works, I'm evident. I am evident. I want us to wrap this conversation up. Mubi, Queen, thank you so much for being part of this show. Thank you. That was to the end of this conversation. But before that, I want you to tell me what you think about this quote. Bring it up. Timo, you later? Yes, girls. You don't have to wait for the guys to always make the first move. Go and ask him out. You have nothing to do. Tell him what you think about it. Well, it was all about understanding whether women should make the first move. My name is Ram Aguco. Thank you very much for being part of this conversation. A repeat of this show comes again tonight at 10 pm. A very big thanks to Mubi. Thank you so much, my brother. Thank you, sir. A very big thanks to Queen. I will have you again. I love this duo. Thank you. We'll be glad to come here. Thank you so much. That was to the end of this show. On behalf of everyone who ensure that this show was a success. Thank you very much. May God bless you. May God bless the work of your hands. This is Power Talk.