 The Kraft Foods Company, makers of Kraft Oil, presents Willard Waterman as the great yield-us-league. This is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. How'd you like to own a brand new Ford Victoria every year for five years? This is first prize in Kraft Oil's Sensational Name the Cake Contest. All you do to win is name a wonderful new cake made with Kraft Oil. Find the recipe on every bottle, bake it, name it, and win a new Ford Victoria every year for five years, or one of 1,850 Dormire electric appliances. Listen for complete details in a few minutes. It's on the porch to inhale the whiny October air. Where's Leigh Rye? He's out kicking the football. Yeah, I don't blame him. Nothing like October. Any mail? Yes, he has a few bills. Oh, it's a good about October. That's when the September school bills come. Yes. When the leaves start falling, that's when the bank balance starts falling too. Well, after you're home, I better go check the ropes. Yeah, I better go write some checks. Let's see what we have here. Hogan Brothers, the shoe store, hardware store. I haven't bought any hardware. Oh, for Leigh Rye's lunch pay. The way he eats, you should take his lunch in a suitcase. Oh, George, it takes a lot to live these days. Never mind. I'm right here, Bertie. Oh, hello, Marvin. Leigh Rye isn't home. I know. Would you like to come back later? No, I'd like to come in now. All right, come in. I'm surprised you aren't out kicking the football with Leigh Rye. I got mad at me and told me to go home. Oh? Boy, will you be surprised to find out I came to his home? I'm hard to get rid of. Well, I'm going to be busy in my den. You make yourself at home. Okay, I'll go in with you. He is hard to get rid of. Marvin, I'm just going over my bills. Okay, let's go. I'll watch. Yes. There are lots of bills this month. That's what my father always says. Well, let's see. I thought I'd paid this one. That's what my father always says. Hogan Brothers, $45. Great guns. My father says worse than that. Maybe this sort of thing keeps up, I'll be bankrupt. Why don't you start cutting your own hair? What? My father got so mad, he started cutting mine. He said it saves a lot of money. Well, I have to start cutting someplace, but I don't think that's the answer. My father says a penny saves is a penny earned. True, true. I'll bet he saves more than you have. A bully for him. Hey, what's this bill? Zeke, how could we owe the shoe store this much? Here's the light bill, the gas bill, the laundry bill. Marvin? Yeah? Let me take a look at your haircut. What can I do for you this morning? Well, I just paid my bills. You can give me a glass of water. I just paid mine, I'll have one with you. Care for an aspirin? No, it wasn't that bad, Pete. I'm not the only one who has to watch it to make aunt's meat. Marvin was over home and says his father started cutting his hair. He did a pretty good job, too. Yeah, I'm glad to hear that. I told him the clippers. You sell clippers, Pete? Well, it's a drug store, isn't it? You will. These days, we're the pharmacists. They're on our toes, I'm here to tell you. I've got a cement mixer if you want it. A cement mixer? It got back, it belongs to the city, but if they don't move it, I'm going to sell it. Oh, my goodness. What are you interested in, Mr. Gillespie? The cement mixer or the clippers? Well, I might take a look at the clippers. Yeah, I'm there right over here in the showcase. I guess Marvin's father will save quite a bit of money in a year's time. Oh, my God. Let me see how they work. I'd like to make a sale, Mr. Gillespie, but I wonder if a city official should cut his own hair. Oh, I'm not going to use it on myself. But I might trim Leroy's. And then there are Marjorie's twins, I could save her some money too. Well, that's an idea. Trimming three heads right at home, I'd have the clippers paid for in no time. Yes, you could trim three heads with no overhead. Well, where does it go, Mr. Gillespie? Three heads, no overhead. Yeah, I got it, P.D., and I like the idea. How much are these clippers? $9.95 and $0.21 for the governor. Well, George, I think I'll take them. The governor will be glad to hear that. Will that be cash or Chinese? Yeah, I think I'll take cash. I'm tired of looking at bills. Yeah, yeah, P.D. Yeah, well, I'll ring up the sale and put them in a bag. Yeah, thank you, P.D. This is a smart move I've made. Yeah, I hope so. What? Well, now that the money's in the tail, what's our barber friend Floyd going to say? Yeah, I hadn't thought of Floyd. That's what I'll tell you. Floyd will still get my business. In fact, I'm going by there and get spruced up this morning. Yeah, it's a good idea, depending on him. Sure. And I don't feel obligated to tell him I'm going to cut the kid's hair. I certainly wouldn't tell anything about it while it's shaving you. All right, P.D. How about a haircut? I think I got one left about your size. Yeah, fine. Mind if I leave this sack here by your tonic? No. What's in it? Gum drops? I don't think I'm nosy. I just ain't had lunch. Yeah, just a little purchase, Floyd. Oh, nothing to eat, huh, Commissioner? Hop into the chair. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, just a light trim, and I'll have a shampoo. Well, you ain't going out among them tonight, Commissioner? Well, I do have a date with Miss Tuttle. Any Roy's teacher, huh? The other day I seen you out with the school principal. Yeah. You must be crazy for teachers. No, Floyd. Well, to each his own. When I got out of the eighth grade, I was through with them. Hilt your head forward a little, Commissioner. It's not too high with the clippers. Oh, no. If she wants to run her fingers through your head, there'll be plenty left. All right, all right. Say I sure got a kick out of Marjorie's twins when they come in for haircuts. Well? Yeah, cute kids. They was in about three weeks ago. Come to think of it, they're due. Has it been that long? Why don't you bring them in? Well... How about me putting them down here in my book? Tomorrow? Not tomorrow, Floyd. Okay. Next day? Not this week. Next week? We'll see. Oh, sure. How about Leroy? He's way overdue. Leroy? You better send him in before the dog catcher gets him. Cheaper than buying tags, Commissioner. They may not be in for a while. You ain't taking them to another shop, are you? Of course not, Floyd. If I'm anything, I'm loyal. Oh, good. I didn't think you'd take your trade to some jack leg. Oh, no. You know me better than that. Sure. I knew I could count on you, pal. Oh, here. Mr. Spot here. Let me get the clippers and we'll be all set to hose down your hair. Uh-oh. Yeah, knock your sack on the floor, Commissioner. I'll get it. You know, Floyd, don't look in that sack. Hey. What do you got here? Hair clippers? Are there hair clippers in there? They ain't for clipping a hedge. Well, now, Floyd, this is easily explained. I'm listening. Tilt your head. Yeah. It occurred to me that as far as cutting the children's hair is concerned, they're so small. They're buckers as big as anybody. Now, if you want to know what I think... Floyd, watch those clippers. Oh, now you've done it. You did it. You moved. You clipped up too high on that side. And I have a date tonight. Well... Look at my hair. Yeah, I guess I wasn't watching. I'm sorry, Commissioner. You just saw it because I bought the clippers. Yeah, but I wouldn't take it out on you like that. That ain't ethical. Ethical. Here, let me even it up. No, thank you. Ah, but commit. I'm getting out of here. I'm not trusting you with my head again. Commissioner, you can't go out of my shop looking like a half-picked chicken. Give me my clippers, Floyd. I'll manage. All right, take them. Jack, leg, barber. Floyd... Didn't see you down there in the rug. He'll never make it. Marvin, I want to look at myself in the mirror. Why? I want to see what Floyd did to my hair. Did you get a haircut? Take a look on one side. It's too high above this ear. My boy, I bought some hair clippers. Yeah? Uh-oh. You're not going to let Mr. Munson cut yours anymore, huh? No, no. I brought these home to use on you. Me? Are you kidding? No, indeed. I plan to trim your hair and also the twins. A little economy move. Oh, now wait a minute, honk. I have to face the kids at school. I'm at the age where I even have to go out with girls. You can cut the twins' hair, but... No, my boy. Marvin's father cuts his hair. Yeah, but Marvin's father knows what he's doing. Yeah, boy. Yeah, I'll see you here, young man. I can cut hair as well as Marvin's father. There's nothing to it. Ah! Think of the money, I'll say. I'm thinking of saving my hair. Leroy, which would you rather do? Let me cut your hair or go without shoes. Go without shoes? No, I'm saying. Now, don't be difficult. Let's see how well the clippers work. Open your collar and tilt your head. Oh, honk. If you won't do it, take him up here in a wood shed. You stay. Now, just to show you how easy it is, Leroy, you take the clippers and even up my hair. Yeah, I'll sit here with the lights good and you go to work. I don't think I'd better, honk. There isn't much to do. The clippers do the work. Just even it up with Floyd's side. Well, okay. How are you doing? Heck, I thought you were going to mess him up. Careful now, Leroy. Not too much. I'm watching. Don't you think you'd better check the other side before you go any higher? Full sides or even? Marvin, what are you giggling about? Hey, Mr. Munson. What? Cutting hair, honk. No, Leroy, those clippers cost money. Besides, I don't think it looks so bad if you just watch it and bring Floyd's side up even with yours. Honk, I'd rather not do it. This takes practice. Go ahead and practice. You have to go ahead. Can't go out with this kind of a haircut. What do people think? Don't think he had the bull on crooked. Leroy, get busy with the clippers. You've done a good job. Just make the other side higher. OK. Dave Gillespie will be back in just a minute. Somebody's going to win a new Ford Victoria every year for five years. It could be you. And 1,850 other families are going to win valuable Dormire electric appliances. To win one of these wonderful prizes, all you do is name Bertie's Luscious New Cake that's made with craft oil. It's easy. You'll find the cake recipe printed on the inside of the label when you buy a green-capped bottle of craft oil. Just bake it and send craft the name you think best describes it. First prize is a smart new Ford every year for five years. You get a deluxe Ford Victoria the first year and then trade it in on a new model every year for the next four years at no further cost to you. Additional prizes include 100 Dormire electric broiler rotisseries, 200 Dormire electric blankets, 200 Dormire power mixers, 250 Dormire portable mixers, and 1100 Dormire fry wells. All together, 1851 prizes. You'll find entry blanks for craft oils name the cake contest at your grocers where you buy craft oil. The entry blank gives you the full prize list, news about a special bonus prize and complete contest rules. Craft oils name the cake contest ends in just a few weeks, so get your entry in soon. Remember, you may win a Ford Victoria every year for five years or one of 1850 Dormire appliances. Gildesley thought it would be a fine move in the direction of the economy to buy some hair clippers to use on Leroy and the twins. Of course, some people are a little wary of home haircuts, so there had to be a guinea pig. Guess who? Hello, Peevee. Hello, Mr. Gildesley. What can I do for you? You can take these compounded clippers and throw them in your concrete mixer. How's that? Peevee, take a look at my hair. Where is it? Well, some of it is Floyd's barbershop and the rest of it is at home. You don't say. When I stopped by Floyd's for my haircut, he found out about the clippers and got a little excited and clipped too much. You got clipped already. Well, Leroy did most of it when he tried to even it up. I thought you were going to cut Leroy's hair. Peevee, I don't think much of this home haircutting. Now, here are your clippers. Give me my money back. Well, I can't take back used merchandise. Peevee, the clippers are just like new. Mr. Gildesley, if you were their water commissioner, what would you say if your customer brought back your water? That's silly. That's what I'm saying. Well, I don't want the clippers. I don't either. You've been in this store for 12 years. White elephant. You shouldn't have talked me into buying them. You talked yourself into it. Well, you shouldn't have let me. You should protect your customers. It wasn't my fault you got a bum haircut. Why don't you go back to Floyd's and get it fixed up? I can't go crawling back to Floyd's. Well, then buy it to pay. Yes, yes. And there are other barber shops in town. If Floyd heard I went to another shop, I'd really lose his friendship. I hope he doesn't find out. I told you the clippers. Oh, you're not implicated, P.D. Say, how about taking the clippers and sort of evening up my hair? Mr. Gildesley, I went to pharmaceutical school, not barber college. P.B., I thought you were my friend. Well, that's why I don't want to do it. Well, you're going to lose a customer if you don't. Yeah, if it'll stick. Give me the clippers and get on this dude. Yeah, that's better. I'll talk to you. I'm shaking out the way it is. Hi, P.B. Uh-oh, it's Floyd. Hello, Floyd. And Commissioner Gildesley, I believe. Hello, Floyd. Hey, what's up? Is everybody taking a barbering? I'm just doing Mr. Gildesley with flavor, Floyd. I'm not barbering. And what are you doing with the clippers? You got the corpus delecti right in your hand. Look, Floyd, he's only trying to straighten up the bad job you started. Oh, yeah? Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm taking my drug business someplace else. I'm not coming in here again. Well, take it somewhere else. You only come in here to read the comic books anyway. Well, yeah, well, don't you pick up one of my magazines when you come in the shop? I'm not coming to your shop. I guess the commission is going to cut your hair, too. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. And praise them more. I want to... Now, look, fellows, why should you two argue? Why boycott each other? Okay, water commissioner, I'll boycott you. I'm going to dig my own well. No, thank you, Bertie. Okay. Thought you might want it early because you came over early. No. I said it early. Please, Bertie. You mean you want it? You go where you have to house? I'll be wearing it for about two weeks. Yes. You've been initiated in a lodge or something? I doubt if any lodge would take me. Come again? I've lost most of my friends, Bertie. Yes. Floyd isn't speaking to me. Peavey isn't speaking to me. Floyd and Peavey aren't speaking to each other. Besides, I've got the worst haircut I've ever had. Is that why you're wearing your hat in the house? That's why I'm wearing my hat in the house. I guess I have to call off my date tonight. I can't take Mrs. Tuttle out in public with my head looking like this. How does it look? Never mind, Bertie. I just have to go phone Mrs. Tuttle and make some excuse. I hate to do this. This one, Gray, seems to be getting really fond of me. Just wait until my hair grows out. I'll make up for it. Well, Gray, this is Dr. Morton. Dr. Morton, you must have known exactly when to call. Oh? I just had my tub. Yeah. And I couldn't have come to the phone a minute sooner. Well, should I call back? No, I've been thinking about you all afternoon. You have? Do you mind if I'm a little forward? No, indeed. Delighted. If you haven't anything special planned, would you take me to the crystal room? Me? Go out in public? Yeah, I mean... The crystal room? Tonight I want to dance. While the orchestra plays a dreamy waltz, I want you to take me in your arms. I'm in a dancing mood. Just hold that mood. Oh, and I get there. Bye, goodbye, Dr. Morton. Bye, bye, Grace. See you tonight. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Excuse me, but I thought you wasn't going out to see. Well, Bertie... I thought you didn't want a lot of people to see you. Well, I think I can talk Miss Tuttle out of going to the crystal room. Yes. You couldn't wear that hat in there. Well, we might just settle for a long drive tonight. Yes. Of course you're going to have to take your hat off when you're going to Miss Tuttle. Well, perhaps I'm just too sensitive about my looks. Yes. Nobody's going to laugh at a fellow just because he happens to have his hair cut a little differently. No, sir. She may not even notice it. Let me take off my hat and see what you think, Bertie. Yes, sir. What do you think? All right, George, I just won't go in. I'll just stand out here in the shadows and keep my hat on. Come in, Dr. Morton. Dr. Morton, where are you? Here I am, down the hall. Go ahead and take some out of the shadows. You look like Friday waiting with his dragnet. Well, I thought we might leave right away, so there's no use in my coming in. What's the rush getting to the crystal room? Grace, I want to talk to you about that. Would you mind settling for a nice long drive this evening? No crystal room? Well, I have reasons. Come in and let's talk about it. You won't think me implied if I don't remove my hat. Dr. Morton, you're behaving strangely. What's the matter with you? Well, let me just tell you. I got a bad haircut today. Dad, I'll take off your hat. Let's see it. You promise not to laugh? Of course I won't laugh. All right. There it is. I knew it. I'm going home. Oh, you poor thing here. Come sit down. We'll sit here on the couch by the fire. I'd better go, Grace. I'd rather not sit in the light. Well, we'll turn off this lamp. Oh? There's nothing like the warm glow of a log fire anyway. Well, I might just stay a few minutes. This is my best side. I'll turn it towards you. Oh, stop worrying about your hair. I find it rather fascinating. You look a lot younger on one side. You think so? Uh-huh. How'd you happen to get this butch-tucked butch? Well, I bought some clippers to trim Leroy's hair. Things would save me some money. Then I made the mistake of telling my barber about it while he was cutting my hair. You must have gotten quite excited. Floyd got mad at me for buying the clippers and he got mad at Peavey for selling them to me. Now we're all at sorts once. You men are acting like some of my little school boys. Yeah, I know. I can't do business with each other anymore. I don't trade with Peavey. Floyd's threatening to dig his own well. You started it by doing the barber's work. Well... Frott Morton, do you know what I'd do if you were one of my students? Keep me after school? No, no. I'd make you shake hands with Mr. Peavey and Mr. Munson. Well, you don't mind. I won't run out and do it right now. If you run out on me tonight, you'll be in more trouble. Yeah, I don't like getting into trouble. Yeah, I'll shake hands with him tomorrow if you let me hold hands with you tonight. Now you're learning how to get along with people. No. I knew those clippers would pay off. Great Gilded Sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Just one more reminder to get your entry blank for Craft Oil's Sensational Name the Cake Contest at your grocers tomorrow. It's the easiest contest in the world to enter. Just send in a name for Bertie's wonderful new cake made with lighter-bodied craft oil. First prize is a new Ford Victoria every year for five years. Other prizes include 1,850 Dormire Electric Appliances. Just name Bertie's cake made with craft oil. Get your entry blank tomorrow. Peavey, don't lag behind. Mr. Gilded Sleeve, I don't want to go into Floyd's barber shop. Come on, don't act like a schoolboy. Good morning, Floyd. Oh, yes. Speak to him, Peavey. Good morning, Floyd. Oh, yes. Well, Floyd, be civil. We're all going to shake hands and make up. We need each other. As a matter of fact, Peavey needs a haircut. A haircut's your thing. Get in the chair, Peavey. I can't stay away from the pharmacy. I'll give you a quick trim. Very well. Yeah, that's more like it. We're all pals again. I'm sure glad you guys came in. I was getting lonesome. Don't take off too much, Floyd. I'll just use the clipper's light in the back. See, there's Grace Tuttle passing the window. She's the one who suggests we make up. You're a wave to her, fellas. Hello, Grace. Hello, Miss Tuttle. Hi, a teacher. Isn't she a doll? What are you doing? Why'd you clip him too high? Well, I was waving. Mr. Gillespie, you talked me into this. Yeah, you distracted me too, waving at girls. Oh, here we go again. Good night, folks. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gilded Sleeve. Enjoy the wonderful sauces you can make for hot meat and vegetable courses with Kraft Prepared Mustard. Keep both kinds on hand and keep the whole family happy. Get mild Kraft Mustard and Kraft Mustard with snappy horseradish added at your favorite food store. This is the NBC Radio Network.