 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Pokémon Outlaw, which, you know what I'm not even going to explain it, let's just get started and you'll find out. Ah, Pikachu instead of saying pika pika says what's up my homies. Wait, where'd my hat go? Damn Outlaws. Alright, fine. At times wild creatures and crazy people will try to steal from you, attack you, and even kill you. Most people use Pokémon for their own twisted reason, violence, theft, and murder. Was this game also made by Peter? Oh my god, what the hell is this thing? It's got a coat made out of Pokémon skin. This game's already kind of out there and edgy. So there's no point in me putting in like swear words or anything. I'm gonna do a 180 and I'm gonna call my guy Cuddles. It's a good name. My parents almost called me Cuddles. I was this close to being called me Cuddles. And my rival can be Shrek. You sure it was Shrek? Yeah, it's pretty memorable. Cuddles! Your crappy life is about to get a bit less crappy. Slums. Okay, great. Great stat. Where's my house? Where's my mom? I need crack. Crack. Oh, Jesus. Alright, move on. Hey, baby, I'll make you feel real good for a cheap rate. Oh, Jesus. I'm leaving the slums. That's it. I'm done with the slums already. There we go, pallet town. It turns out the slums were in a cave. Oh, hey, mom. Ooh, what a nasty little hood rat. Oh, perfect. I guess at least it's a more rational reaction to a stranger walking into your house rather than just welcoming them in and giving them gifts. Ah, it's Professor Oak. And all the Pokeballs are there. As Professor Oak always says, the early bird catches the worm, or in this case, the Pokemon. So I get the Pokemon, right? What's your name, Cuddles? Grab one of them backup balls. What? These? Can I have one? Oh, fantastic. A sand shrew. Yes, I will take it. Wait, your aides just told me to die. Oh, I'm being assaulted. Great. Okay, I won. And Shrek now said, lol, peace out, losers. And not because. All right, bye, Shrek. Can I just leave now? Is the assault over? Okay, yes, it's over. I'm leaving the stamp town. Everyone just seems to be a crackhead here. Oh, God, a policeman. Everyone except me is a crackhead. God damn it. Hey, no bombs allowed. Die. Okay, he's right to the point, isn't he? Listen, officer, please. I'm a homeless kid called Cuddles. Just give me a chance. He's actually gonna kill me. Like, how am I even supposed to beat this guy? He's killed me. I left town and a policeman killed me. Wait, what? Lady, wake up. Why the hell did some washed up bum end up here? Your Pokemon obviously suck right now. Listen, lady, I didn't choose to come here. Some policemen have killed me and then brought me to your house for some reason. Oh, God damn it. He's waiting for me again. He killed me again. How am I supposed to get out of town? All right, I guess I'll just try and fight wild Pokemon to level them up because it's impossible to get out of town. Two deaths later. Okay, officer, I've died twice since you last saw me and I'm ready to fight again. Apparently not. All right, officer, I'm ready for you this time. This is pretty much impossible to lose. I'm way above you in level now. There we go. Okay, finally, stay. Jesus. This is stressful. Not perfect. Take another person. I'm already nearly dead. You look tasty. Huh? Burglar Joe. I think you misspelled cannibal. Cannibal Joe. Hey, lady. Yeah, I ran into another person. I'll be out of your hair again now. Sorry. I'm sure I'll be back. I'm sure I'll see you soon. All right. Here we go again. I can beat him this time. Okay, thank God I just about beat him. I need more Pokemon. And you know, to stop being a soldier, that would be nice too. I'm for fact sick. He won't let me use the store until I go back to the slums and get a package for Professor Oak that was stolen. I hate the slums. What the hell are you doing in my house? Good question, I guess. Yeah, that's a fair point. You deserve to attack me. And he has three Pokemon, so yeah, he's going to kill me too. Yep, I am dead. That's my own fault for breaking and entering, I guess. All right, more slums. Let's see if I can get this package back. I'm a big time drug dealer. I poison the community and make a huge profit. Please don't stop me. Yeah, but they try to kill me just for leaving a town. I shouldn't say try. They succeeded many times. And now I'm being attacked again. All right, I got the package after beating up these thugs. Give me some Pokeballs. I badly need some more. Oh God, the economy's tough. I can only afford one. Oh, manky. There we go. That's what I want. I need a fighting type Pokemon because apparently there's a lot of fighting in this game. Well, I killed it. All right, let me try that again. All right, don't kill it. I can't get it any weaker because if I hit it twice, it'll die. Oh, God damn it. All right, try just throwing the ball at him, hope for the best. Please just stay in there. Don't fight your way out. Yes. Okay, good. I got another Pokemon. I'm just going to name a bodyguard because honestly, I really need one. Okay, now I'll go attack that guy in his home again and see if I can win. I lost. This is so rough. I just want to do a simple home invasion and I can't. Yes, I did it. I broke into his house and beat up the old man. A sexy music video's on. Booty, booty, booty, booty. Dude, your kid is in the room. Maybe you should... You know who I might have to tell you how to raise your daughter? I just broke into your house. Okay, I got a Pokedex. It actually made more sense in this world. He said he stole the blueprints for the idea and now they were on to him and he needs to hide the evidence, so he gave it to me to hold on to. Makes a lot more sense than just giving a 10-year-old this crazy, expensive invention. Oh, what is it now, Shrek? Cuddles! Okay, that's nice. You're a homeless. You have no family. What is Shrek's problem in this universe? Time to die, loser. How many people are gonna say that to me today? You know what? I don't even have to kill you. With all my money, I hired a group of assassins to... Why does everyone want me dead? They're up ahead. Lol, he says. As if calling assassins to kill me wasn't bad enough. He had to lol right in my face. Oh, it turns out the assassins are bug catchers. They're moonlight assassins when they're not catching butterflies. Watch out, there's a bug assassin ahead. They kill with bugs. Yeah, I was more picturing buckshot rather than string shot. I think I'll be fine. My bugs will devour your corpse. Oh no, a metapod. Please don't harden. No. Oh no, another metapod. You get what you pay for. Shrek cheaped out on these assassins into the next town. The bug catchers didn't stop me. They were the one thing so far that I was actually like... This is kind of pathetic. Everyone else was terrifying. Jigglypuff is such a boring Pokemon. I regret catching it. Dude, it's right there. It can hear you. And it looks kind of demented. Don't mess with it. Tell me something good about yourself. What's your profile? What? Combine four words of phrase and make your profile. Okay. Can I say live, laugh, love? Please. Profile. Absolutely must be a little mistake. Honesty is the best policy. Your profile really says something about who you are. It really does, doesn't it? Brock is a disgrace to this city. No one will work with him after sexual harassment charges. He's a registered sex offender. So embarrassing. All right, well, I'm going to beat up your gym leader then. Nightclub. No. What? Okay. Stranger is now taking this kid to a nightclub. Thanks. What is this? 50 bucks to get in. Yeah, sure. I really like dancing in the club with a nice girl while intoxicated. God, this guy's trying way too hard to fit in. Oh, great. Now someone started to fight me. Why do you have a whip in a nightclub? Actually, don't answer that. All right. Bodyguard fainted. Maybe there should be a bouncer. Like if this kid kills me, do I have to pay to get back in? Well, I'm about to find out because I just died. You actually lost, lol. You must really suck. All right, game looked. Give me a break. All right. In fact, give me many breaks because I keep dying. Hello, yeah. I'm here to pay to get back in. You're way too young for alcohol. I'm way too young to be in here. They have a whip downstairs. Oh, he is a rare Pokemon. He said they'll sell me for 500. I got to get it. But I don't have enough money. It's a tough economy right now. All right. This nightclub is a waste of time. They won't even serve miners. Second lame. All right. It's time to take on sex offender Brock. Let's first get something out of the way. I am not the same man who inappropriately touched that. Prison changed me, man. So let's have a great battle, kid. I don't even have attacks. All I know how to do is scratch and he is rock Pokemon. This is death by a thousand cuts for one of us. I think it's death for him. Okay, great. I just about won. It's just scratching at a rock. And the winner is Goggles by erosion. Now that we're cool, do you know any hot girls, Brock? I just got out of jail a month. Oh, God damn. I'm getting out of here. I want nothing to do with you. All right. Now that I've brought money, maybe I can get that Pokemon. Let me pay this nightclub for the fourth time. I told a dial. Oh, that's actually quite cool. That's not even in this game. Is it? Either way, I'm happy. Reject seems like a good name for him since the guy just sold it to me. That look you gave me, it's so intriguing. I'm looking at a wall. Do you mean the fact that I didn't look at you is intriguing? I came here to do mushrooms and get high on her Pokemon as mushrooms on it. Okay. You better be careful. Poor Paris doesn't stand a chance. Oh my God. What is going on here? Some standoff between Team Rocket and the police. All right. Good thing I can just walk by the police here. Oh no. The police want to attack me too. Yeah. I'm the issue here. I'm the important thing you should address. Not the gang standing 10 feet away. At least I've water gone now to spray their growl. It might actually be helpful. Oh, thank God I made it to the next city. Jesus Christ. It was touching gold for a minute there being attacked by everyone. I make all kinds of drugs with berry powder. Hmm. He's talking about making cocaine out of berries. Do I care about berries? Yes, I do. I'd love to get some cocaine from you old man. You don't have berries? Go kill yourself, loser. Well, that's a bit rude. And he followed it up with lololol. All right. I feel like before I go it's my responsibility to tell Misty about Brock. You're dead, you perv. I'm the perv, apparently. Okay. That's my first Pokemon one-shot it. Okay, that's my second Pokemon one-shot it. And there goes my third Pokemon. Okay. Well, I feel like my person's profile sums up this game quite well. And we are gonna leave it there. God, this Pokemon world is quite punishing when you're not a protagonist and you're just some random homeless kid. You really get taken advantage of and everyone just seems a lot more cruel. But I hope you guys enjoyed the video. I appreciate you watching. It has been fun. Jesus, it's been weird, I think. I think it's been a healthy mix of weird and fun. But yeah, I appreciate you watching. If you want to see more of me, I post every day and I also stream over on Twitch four days a week if you want to check out that as well. Other than that, I'll stop rambling. Thank you very much for watching and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.