 All right. Hey there foundation staff welcome to the psych 42 critique lab Now i'm going to pull up The chat real quick so i can see you guys in the stream So we can work on carnicles graph titled tussy mussy So make sure you check out the description for the link of the day That way you guys can help me clean this up If it needs cleaning, maybe it's a perfect draft on the first try. Who knows It'll group So now i've got the live chat active Let me Put on my monitor Boom, hey the chat's starting to fill up. I've got us in line here all monitored excellent So hey, let's get down to business. It is time for carnicles draft Starting with phase one the read through Oh, we have carnicles jotted notes scp tussy mussy below the line. Do I want to start with jotted notes? No, I don't want jotted notes. Don't matter. Okay, so From the item number. Let's get through the solid all the way through read through item number scp xxx object class safe corrected to euclid special containment procedures scp x's is to be held in its original box in a safe object storage locker Correction on display in its original box in conjunction with the other items collectively known as lot 76 in the secure item gallery of the site 81 library footnotes Unmended containment suggested by senior researcher carcincy addendum x is alpha x is 1.05 and addendum x is gamma x is 2 That's a little confusing Uh, we don't normally footnote the phrase I'm looking for we don't normally footnote edits like that, but I guess you can no big deal Uh description. Oh, let's do the picture first. So we have big shiny gold picture for everybody watching at home description scp x's is an ornate silver plated bouquet holder It is conical approximately 18 centimeters in length seven centimeters across at the open end Attached roughly at the midpoint is a third chain approximately 10 centimeters in length This chain terminates in a silver pin which can be inserted into a small hole near the open end Serving to secure a bouquet placed within upon recovery scp x's was contained in a hinged wooden box With the initial e carved into the lid the box also contained a cabinet card Portrait of a young couple in victorian attire Okay. Wow. Okay. I'm already missed three footnotes Uh two also known as a posie or a nose gay holder Uh 18 centimeters in length footnote three including the loop at the point at end Okay continuing on victorian attire is footnote four the backstip of the card reads artistic and practical photographers cod walleter and Fairnaught Established august 19th 1872 indianapolis indiana I wait to reply my chateau lane Is written on the back as well as what's on the card? I guess scp x's one collectively refers to bouquet spontaneously manifested by scp x's scp x's dash one Very in composition generally consisting of at least three different floral components C note five it is unknown if scp x's is retrieving or generating scp x dash one sc one scp x's dash one appear correction usually footnote six See denim x's alpha the denim axa limits of the reach are unknown. Okay, so we'll get to that later within scp x's It is not necessary for scp x's to be empty for this to occur Current contents of scp x's will appear Correction usually appear scp x's or upon a nearby surface Review of high speed video indicates that these manifestations and displacements are instant placing items not produced by scp x's into scp x's Will result in their immediate displacement to a nearby surface and may or may not be accompanied by an instance of scp x's dash one Sputnote seven a bouquet not produced by scp x's dash one places scp x's May or may not be displaced no criteria or pattern have yet been discovered Walt contained in scp x scp x's dash one will remain fresh indefinitely This preservation does not persist upon removal scp x dash one plant material will begin to wilt dry out and or decay within the expected amount of time for floral cuts of prospective type slash species Replacement onto scp x will not arrest or reverse the process Beyond manifestation scp x's dash one do not appear to possess any anomalous properties Correction examination of individual components of scp x's dash one show them to be representative specimens of their respective species Uh footnote eight c addendum x alpha one x alpha gamma two two So we're really setting up that Uh addendum or those addendums. Oh, those are separate addendums. Okay, so we're setting up those addendums Discovery scp x's was one of several anomalous items footnote nine c document person of interest 7 0 7 2 9 2 4 9 dash b dash 1 5 for a complete list jesus Retrieved from an auction warehouse in boop indiana owned by person of interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 The entire the death of personal interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 during the attempted burglary at the warehouse by person Maybe persons unknown a lot of mobile task force iota 10 Codenamed dam feds to secure The building in the guise of local law enforcement before other interested parties could arrive c footnote 10 Person of interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 was responsible for obtaining numerous items of interest for the foundation between 19 Boop and 2000 boop including scp boop and scp boop and was responsible for brokering the purchase of scp Boop person of interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 was known to have similar dealings with at least three groups of interest The several clients including the foundation interested in po i 7 0 7 2 4 9's more unusual acquisitions Had held an uneasy truce regarding person of interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 I'm beginning to spoken Agreement that it was preferable to share to services rather than risk moving them all together in an attempt to secure them Exclusively the death of person of interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 While seemingly none nothing more than a burglary on a rye is still under investigation While nothing of value was taken no subsets have been apprehended the full person of interest 7 0 7 2 4 9 dossier may be available to researchers with level 500 upon submitting a request for records Oh, that's a heck of a footnote. Okay going on Certain auction lots deemed evidence were rerouted to various foundation holdings lot 76 containing scp x's Was one of several sent to site 81 Minimal documentation regarding lot 76 was recovered The only information noted for scp x's was its ability to produce scp x's dash 1 No anomalous properties were noted for the remainder of lot 76 These items were sent to site 81 for library to determine if they contain any historical value Or could provide any information regarding scp x's. All right. I've been at that for a while. Let me see what the chat says Whoo, okay. What do we how's it going gang anything that I missed we have people who made it Uh carnival made it. Hello. Yay We're here These yes the length of these critique labs depend on the length of the scp at hand An idea for an scp depends on how long the read is some guys are real Right into the end this picture for sure. Okay, so boron bigs. God damn. That's a lot of footnotes I agree. I'm going to get into that in a little bit. But first of all, oh my god, so many footnotes Uh, okay But that might be a personal thing and I'll tell you why in a minute Continuing on the discovery log Certain auction lots deemed evidence were rerouted to various foundation holdings lot 76 containing scp x's was one of several since Okay, so we did that So now we're on to addendum alpha or addendum x's alpha x's 1.05 Addendum x's alpha x's 1.05 Expand On the 21st of june 2016 two months after scp x's and the remainder of lot 76 were catalogued and remanded to safe storage in the library Library respectively an instance of scp x's that's went up here on senior researcher erica karsten's desk While she and a colleague were at lunch upon returning to her office karsten picked up the bouquet Wait, wait lunch is footnote 12 the bouquet was composed of white anemone Blossoms with you and willow cuttings Upon returning to her office karsten picked up the bouquet Number 13 designated scp x's dash what 1.05 Initially believing it to be a gift shortly thereafter Research karsten was seen to leave the administration weighing carrying scp x's dash 1.05 She attempted to gain entry to the safe store object storage area of site 81 But was denied entrance and detained by the two security officers on duty when she could not provide a reason for her presence She became increasingly belligerent when pressed for information This attitude persisting until she was subdued and relieved of scp x's dash 1.05 by security officer jade mc daniel At this point officer mc daniel returned scp x's dash 1.05 to researcher karsten Subdued security officer w nesbitt and allowed researcher karsten to proceed to safe object storage While karsten located removed the box containing scp x's from his locker officer nesbitt Managed to break away from officer mc daniel and alert site security Researcher karsten emerged to find herself confronted by a rapid response security team Who instructed her to set down both scp x's 1.05 and the box containing scp x's and back away while placing her hands on her head She complied stating only please don't put her back in there. She was so lonely scp x's dash 1.05 and the box containing scp x's were achieved by remotely controlled drones and transferred to quarantine in secure examination room A25 in the classification wing of site 81 during debriefing scp x's dash 1.06 dash 1.07 and dash 1.08 footnote 14 each composed of purple hyacinths agrimony and hazel Up here in front of karsten mc daniel and nesbitt respectively the interview rooms were quickly evacuated to permit remote retrieval and transfer of the scp x's dash 1 dash a to S e r a 25 secure examination room while leaving officer nesbitt was heard to mutter at least she was sorry about it Upon continued debriefing neither karsten nor nesbitt had any explanation for referring to scp x's as a she Okay Going on and an x's dash gamma dash x's dash 2 expand On the 24th of june 2016 so three days later At 1400 and eight minutes and 24 seconds. Wow, that's precise a total of at least a two-digit number At least a two-digit number of instances of scp x's dash 1 appeared throughout sectors four six and seven of site 81 Addendum 50 or footnote 15. These were composed of rhododendrons monks hood and penny royal Personnel the vicinity of scp x's dash 1 proceeded to retrieve them and then evacuate the sectors or retreat designated shelter in place locations While learning staff not in vicinity of scp x's dash 1 to evacuate or retreat as possible At the same time an instance of scp x's dash 1 comprised of irises appeared on researcher karsten's desk She initially attempted to retreat from her office without interacting with scp x's dash 1 But a second instance also comprised of irises appeared at her feet as she opened the door understandably reluctant researcher karsten nevertheless picked up scp x's dash 1 And after a moment proceeded to the site 81 library tucked inside the lot 76 commonplace book Put note 16 near the end of a section on fluorography Florigraphy, how do you say that word? Florigraphy, it's like choreography, fluorography Was a page from a letter it described a number of deaths following an unusual illness in a manner similar to victims of scp boop Which at the time was contained in sector 4 of the biohazards wing of site 81 at 2 p.m. And 17 minutes and 26 seconds scp boom breached containment leading to the widespread contamination of sectors 4 6 and 7 It is estimated that approximately three digits worth of casualties would have resulted had the mass scp x manifestation designated as event x gamma 1 And subsequent evacuation not occurred Since the 24th of august 2016 there have been Two-digit gamma events forewarning loss containment at site 81 Allowing for the prevention of containment loss in two digits worth of cases and minimizing casualties in the remainder of cases Each of these events have involved an scp with properties similar to something described in a piece of ephemera Or notation contained within the lot 76 commonplace book Research into the provenance of scp x's and other items comprising lots of v6 is ongoing All right, so hi everybody in case you got to the stream halfway through that read Remember to check the link of the day down below because that'll take you to where we're reading And okay, so there's a lot going on in this skip and Okay, so idea phase first Technical writing phase second. That's the easiest way to go through this so first of all We have a candle holder now I have a question right out the gate since I have the author here and that is Is there a reason that it's a silver plated bouquet holder? But your picture is gold because your s your picture is clearly gold And The description is silver. So I'm very curious about that Um, do you have a silver version or are you going to change it to gold to match the picture? Uh beyond that Before I even dive into Oh god, what order do you want to attack this? Okay, so our item our item is a bouquet holder That can spawn flowers um Based on your Based on the way that this is reading. I'm very much hoping that you have A lot of like secret messages in the fluorography here because You very clearly point out a lot of different flower combinations So i'm hoping That you made a effort to like have these flowers have meanings That we can translate So beyond that So I want so yes, we're talking about the photo the color of the vase Um I want to make sure you did go in and do the fluorography Okay, so it is a direct message excellent And I like that then So it can spawn flowers in itself and they'll last forever It can spawn flowers outside itself to give a message to somebody so I assume Is there a message between the couple in victorian attire? Is that specifically just so we have a clue that it's doing like victorian flower language? Uh continuing down So yes, it spawns flowers it speaks a language it can Kind of tell the future which is another ability all on its own Because it can spawn flowers it speaks language And it can tell the future. I wonder Why it can tell the future? Just because that seems like completely different than spawning flowers and talking to people in person Like at one point it's a sentient flower because I don't know why it's sentient it could use a See this is a really interesting idea. So I've got like chew on it and work my way through it Uh, I would love a summary if you have like a high concept thought for this Uh But in the meantime, I'm trying to chew through it on my own Um So yes, I'll take this opportunity while I'm thinking to alert everybody who's new to the stream Welcome to critique lab. I read people's scp drafts And we talk about them in the chat and see if we can make them better See if we can get them ready to go up on the site Uh, we have finished our first full read through of the draft So now we are on to talking about the concept for the anomaly and the concept for the story And anything that seems weird or out of place or everything that seems good Things that would make it better things that are awesome already things we should add things we should take away So right now the commonplace book So the anomaly is the bouquet holder It's kept in a box It has a portrait of a victorian couple inside So what does the book for lot 76? Have to have with have to do with anything Uh, it doesn't appear in the description of the scp But it shows up in the addendum like this Book has to is where it sends its messages It's sending messages Using flower language. So it uses flower language Which it doesn't seem like anybody in the scp Is getting because The let me check the chat. Just in time for Valentine's Day lovely It's not so much to have future prediction as connection to unusual events from her lifetime. She encountered Who is she? Uh, is my first question is this Carson Is this uh, the person who might be dead inside this vase Tucked inside the lot 76 commonplace book was a page from a letter It described a number of deaths following an unusual Illness in a manner similar to victims of scpx's which at the time was contained in sector four and then Each of these events involved in scp with properties similar to something described in a piece of up them or your notation containing them the lot 76 commonplace book She is the lady in the victorian picture. Okay. I like that um Okay, so why doesn't this lot 76? What's the connection between her and the lot 76 book? because This lot 70 foot six book doesn't show up until the final addendum And it seems to just be a book In one of the in the site 81 library. I don't know what a commonplace book is myself So give me just a sec. No worries. No hurry I'm gonna look up what a commonplace book is because maybe that has something to do with it And I just don't know what a commonplace book is So that happens to me a lot. I'm gonna warn you guys Um, the reason I do critique lab is because I want to help people I have written one scp successfully. That is scp 3086 I have written some theater scripts before in the past for like so But I'm not saying I'm the most qualified person to I'm not on like the critique staff for me. I'm not Any sort of authority. I'm just a guy who wants to help out, which is why I'm glad you guys helped me through the chat So we can like gang up on this and get as many eyes on it as possible But there's a lot of the time I miss references and It's like secret things in scp's because I'm not like I'm detailed when I make things But I'm not Detailed when I observe things I kind of gloss over things really easily So I'm like looking up what a commonplace book is And a commonplace book is a way to compile knowledge usually by writing information into books Such books are essentially scrapbooks filled with items. So it's kind of like a journal. It's an old timey journal from victorian age so Going back to the chat The book has a fluorography language book in it scvx was part of lot 76 so hold on so In a footnote sc so the the vase or sorry bouquet holder the I'm going to call it from now on. I'm going to call it the Posey holder I'm going to call it the posey holder The posey holder was in lot 76 with the Book from lot 76 so Discovered in lot 76 Is that The photo a collapsible fan a brooch with a pen and watch and several charge attached and a commonplace book with several items of ephemera touched throughout Okay, so Lot 76 consists of x's in its box the photo Absorbent a brooch with a pen and several times attached So this is my lord So the book contains the flower language Gang up on the gang up on this sounds good okay, so So then this woman in the posey holder I guess she's countered all of these scps in the past To then know about them and have notes on them Because okay background for everyone who doesn't know about this I just kind of glossed over it because I know about it. I've heard about it in the past but flower language Is a thing Where like if you want to communicate with someone in secret you would give them bouquets with certain arrangements of flowers and like these three Each flower and you could link the flower patterns to get send a phrase to somebody in a bouquet So like if you put this bouquet up in your house It meant someone has died and we are sad or if you're holding a bouquet at a party Only your friends who know flower language will know what that bouquet means Or so it's like a secret code in flowers So that is cool for the Uh, so that is what this bouquet is doing is it's trying to tell these people things in what's called fluorography fluorography is flower language So that's why these are all flower code. There's always it's very important that there's specific flowers because they mean things And i'm guessing that Carnival has done their homework and made sure that the flower language in each bouquet fit that way the story made sense in that sense, which is I just love details like that That is that's the kind of detail that I like putting in ahead of time because it makes the story more Infactually correct so The book that came with the bouquet Contains notes about scps That are about to breach Or it's just coincidental that she warns them About the breaches before they happen by leading them to specific scps Because right now it speaks flower language So a bouquet contains a woman She spawns bouquets that speak flower language so she can send messages And then also this woman Had a notebook of scps Like something to me it just seems kind of unrelated. It just seems kind of extra It seems but it everything has to be extra kind of these days. It has to have more of a story So that's Yeah, she not that she knows about sorry, uh, she said she knows about those specific ones because she's encountered them but by no means all scps okay, because posi woman knew about the scps that she knew about But she also had the sense to warn them to evacuate when it was about to breach Now how did she I guess I'm trying to figure out what kind of omnipresence it has because it can find people anywhere It can find It can find people within a range and affect them. They haven't figured out how far that range is I guess it can sense if because it's still in site 81, right? So it's contained in site 81 Okay, it is contained with the other items collectively known as lot 76 site 81 Okay, so there's a lot of threads of story and I don't think I'm not sure that any of them come to a full head in a way that satisfies me on the front and let me try and explain what I mean Uh So we have dead woman in a vase who speaks flower language. We're set. We have an anomaly Uh, she goes a little further that she can reach out and sense people when they're away from her She can reach out and sense scps that she saw In the past. Okay, so that's a separate thread You first got a novelist posi holder with dead woman who Speaks flower language spawns flowers and tries to tell people things It can also Control people kind of Because it controlled her to get her out of hiding because she doesn't want to be hidden. She wants to be on display So it's got a compulsion effect on people And it has Okay, so I'm gonna go back to the chat one Still phrasing this the guy that got them to the parent was done in by a third party By some bloke who dealt with other people like the foundation. Yep Maybe doesn't predict the outbreaks but he can directly manipulate the course of reality to make certain events happen It could just have amazing luck But within a limited range or degree of possibilities hence why you should predicts outbreaks predicts quote-unquote Can I check my email? Okay, I certainly can Ah a quick long notes. Okay. Lot 76 contains the items of a lady who is part of a proto foundation type group So she was an scp Precursor kind of founder thing. I hope to do more work with that idea. That is pretty mean It has notes on you. Oh, okay. You're not you don't want me to say all this Gosh darn it. Okay. Sorry Wait, I need to say all this. Otherwise the audience doesn't get what I'm doing Uh the bouquet holder itself flows good for what you're applying to her And the new study running would be the name for flower language bouquets. Oh, that's neat Combine type the agenda which would be less controlled and more glory Okay, so there is an overlying factor here. This is going to be spread out um We need to tighten this one up now so that It tells its own story without coming off Where it tells a solid story With some threads we can expand on so let's make sure it does that Okay, so we have proto foundation woman. We have Uh We need to know why she was in the flower holder. We don't need to know why it happens that happens in a lot a lot of anomalies We have flower language. We have flower spawning She has a compulsion effect on people as well I almost would I almost would rather Her spawn like a bunch of flowers in a way that it makes someone Look into fluorography so that they can translate and talk to her because You've made it clear at least to me who knows what flower language is that that's what she's doing But no one in the foundation seems to make a huge note of it like It's not in the description that it will that it will try and talk to you right So if it's not in the description, I assume that no one in the foundation realizes that it's speaking in fluorography because of that I honestly think it'd be a more interesting angle if it was just trying to talk to them in fluorography and then the compulsion effects weren't there And that would be more interesting to me anyways I know that compulsion effects are kind of a weird thing that people sometimes are kind of on and as well I mean sometimes are good, but at the same time She can speak flowers. She can spawn flowers and also she can control your brain with flowers Maybe it's a list too far Plus she has kind of an omnipresent awareness but okay um There's a side quest side story of person of interest 707 249 and I mean that footnote is ridiculous because that is the place where you're hiding this entire subplot um And I say ridiculous not that it's bad just that it's long like oh my god. That's ridiculous. That's a long one I'm not sure who I feel about that. I don't think that happens very often I don't know if that's good or bad myself um So I think the main thing of your footnotes is you have so many footnotes because you've got really in depth into the details I I give you a lot of kudos. There's not a lot of I don't think there's really any spelling or grammar errors There might be one or two. We'll come back to it. No spag errors as it's called or I've heard it called but It's because you're so detailed and you've so got all the research down there that Just like Jesus a lot of people forget to Like I've never seen someone Like footnote a correction the way it is in the first footnote. You're like this was corrected By this person for this addendum Normally that's like up in the description see addendum blah blah blah for more details It's not normally a footnote, but it could be a footnote All right, go back to the chat for a second Persuading the mask at least to release her and then other scps What if Carson was a site 81 librarian and gets the first message while cataloging transcribing the book Uh, the author wants to know that that was the author speaking about second paragraph And yeah, if Carson is a site 81 librarian is cataloging the book and finds the message Should the message be a florist A floral message or should it be a note in the book It should it be like she's cataloging the book and a bouquet appears in the book And that would tell her oh, I should look at that Ah our author is a chemist and is used to writing scientific reports That is easy to tell my lord that is clean so Yeah, I feel like our spelling and grammar run through near the end is going to be really short I feel like it's not going to have a lot to say. It's mainly going to be this story threading so Yeah, I don't think the footnotes are bad. Um like Your all of your footnotes are pertinent and they give extra details that wouldn't be necessary in the main thing Okay, so I didn't mention this. This is my personal beef with footnotes Footnotes make reading scps terrible A footnote breaks the rhythm of making an scp reading like I do on the channel awful. I hate them so much So like I would look at your scp and I'd be like, oh my god These are so important to the story I'm probably not going to read this one because it just it doesn't flow when there's that many like wedged in footnotes as opposed to a narrative thread But that's just me as an scp reading youtuber guy That has nothing to do with story structure And again as a chemist you're writing footnotes the way you would and that's more accurate than a lot of footnotes on the wiki Anyways, most of us are just faking it Okay, so The story section we've got talking about her being a librarian and she finds it. That's interesting She can make the uh So yes, my big beef is really the compulsion in the aphorcededendom I think if we could communicate with someone who knew floriography That would be a more interesting way to get attention Like maybe she leaves a message it's ignored and so she spawns a bunch of the same bouquet With like the exact same amount of each flower in the exact same arrangement And that cued somebody like whoa, that's weird And she also happened to be reading a book about reading in the book for floriography She would like scanning the pages and so that came to mind and so she found it Because you would What's the phrase i'm looking for because if you're a librarian cataloging scps in our day and age pages that way they could be seen Once you determine that they weren't anomaly themselves that would be spread through the internet But actually you wouldn't scan the pages if you weren't if you weren't sure it was an anomaly But you would look through them and make sure that a memetics expert made sure they were not an anomaly something like that so something like she the identity she was writing in a A bouquet appeared and she thought was that was weird. So if you put it back and then She spawned it again And it's almost like you'd almost end up with an interview log for the flowers and like the interview log would be like This combination of flowers roughly translated means blank something like that Yes, the identical one sent to karson and the security guards were an apology so I almost like getting her out of the display Or out of storage and being on display I think works better As like maybe if she communicates and then over communicates Rather than compulsion But I mean that's up to you. That's just me Beyond that Okay, so we have our story that I'm going to go down straight down the page now because we have We're going down boron bigs notes that it might actually be better to move some of the information into an incident log Or an interview log somewhere um Especially the discovery footnote with person of interest actually Now that I think about it the way Person of interests footnotes Comes in That is really appropriate the way you did it like honestly now that I look at that again I like the way where the only pertinent information and discovery is about the flower bouquet The item in question But then person of interest being important is down in the footnotes So that is Super As much as I don't like the giant footnote in theory myself It is perfectly. That's the right idea. Again, you're a chemist enough. You know your footnotes So that's exactly how it should be separating the pertinent work from the non pertinent work Okay, uh random question off topic of anything we've been talking about Is there a reason that the addendums are titled addendum X's gamma x's again. Is there a reason it's on both sides? Uh Most addendum formatting is like addendum item number And then whatever the designation is the author asks Should the contents of lot 76 be in the description? I don't think so especially if You might do more with Uh, are you all right if you're going to use the other items in a separate way Like if you're going to use them for more things later, I don't suggest it Because then later on you'll add them as they contained along with this other scp Um Especially because you say the other items collectively known as lot 76 That what addendum is that that is addendum number one And then did contain suggested by okay, so that's not regarding the items from lot 76 Perhaps Perhaps footnote one isn't super necessary at least it's not often used and then Your footnote for the containment procedures can be The items contained in lot 76 That way it's right up front These are the items that were discovered along with it That way we have those right out the gate and they're refreshing our mind These are the things that are involved That way when it comes up later that this book is getting messages from the flower base You can be like whoa, that was in the eye get it Okay, I'm just going to go through the footnotes and see what we need here Number one amended containment suggested by senior researcher Carson see addendum See addendum x is alpha x is 105 Also known as a posi or nose gate holder not good including the loop at the point and end Including the loop at the point and end is a good thing to say. It's a realistic thing to say If we're looking to trim. I don't think it's holding necessary The backstab the card reads Okay, that's good. That gives us a year It is unknown if it is retrieving or generating honestly Because it's generating specific things I almost wonder if it should be something about generating flowers to create scp x-1 instances just because I can't see how it's retrieving that many specific bouquets So maybe It is unknown if scp x is is retrieving or generating the flowers to create scp x-1 instances Might be something I would say Because it would be I don't think it would be retrieving that many identical bouquets if they existed Icy wolf wants to know if we do site 42 critique lab Regularly and so far we've done one a week on friday afternoons Schedule subject subject to change due to my day job schedule, but for now this has been a good time slot See addendum x is alpha x is out gamma The limits of scp x's reach are unknown. So that explains that Bouquet not produced by scp x's place and do it may or may not be displaced No criteria criteria or pattern have yet been discovered not number seven, I don't know if it's necessary because I don't feel as if it gives us any more information that we need footnotes See addendum So yeah, see addendum number nine see document PoIs and lines of a complete list So I assume that Maybe this poi document will come up later Or maybe it's just world building But we're talking about That poi and that person does a lot of things And then we get into their story with clients and part of probably mickey d's and Serpent's hand Their death is a mystery So honestly, I was so much ready for Like a full mystery story to come out when poi 707 249 was taken out I was like, whoa, this story is taking a radically different Tone in direction than I thought it was going to like for okay. So here's the thing with story in scp's very series four is a lot a lot of people trying to make the difference between This is a scary thing And this is a scary thing and also there's a story I guess I shouldn't say scary. I should say weird This is an anomaly and here's the story behind it because back in the series one days. It was just enough to say Here's a here's a thing. It's weird and scary. Ha ha ha So now there's more to it than that Um That by that point in your story you would explain here's a weird thing It does weird things And then this story chunk came in and I was like, whoa, there's a murder mystery and there's Uh A guy and there's stuff and he's selling things and he was murdered and we don't know who did what And I was super locked into that. I was like, oh, this is gonna be really cool. This is going in another direction We're hitting the story And then that's the end of it And I was like, whoa Okay, so we're not gonna talk about him anymore And then we got into a completely different story about your Victorian foundation precursor woman so Like you've got two whole story setups in this one But the one that I missed was the less blatant one though, which is the focus of this item This item's focus is victorian flower woman And I didn't even catch that because I was so locked into Oh my god, there's a murder mystery going on So even when I got to the following addendums, I was still wondering if the murder mystery was going to go anywhere so Right now Okay, so here's the thing Your narrative for flower woman I think especially you said you would take away the compulsion And make it more speech and that'll be interesting. She can communicate. There might be an interview A POI dude is connected, but not directly Says the author so maybe trim it down Because like It's very good It hooked me Instantly, I was ready for poi 727 or 707 249 I was ready for their story And then it stopped And I was like, oh no, what are we doing? Why are there containment breaches and magic compulsion and future telling? So like that kind of broke my brain in the reading and I think a lot of people will have that happened But again, that's that's just me. My brain's not the hardest to break Uh, I am a big fan of this scp declassified server so I can go on reddit So I can go to that subreddit and see what the heck's going on sometimes with some of these deeper scp's so Plug for scp declassified you're welcome modulum Going down the list Because god you're set up for poi 707 249 is so good So I hate to say trim it. I hate to say lose it But I want to see it given less focus than Your Victorian lady That's my main thought and I want to know how to do that Without butchering such a good idea that's there Because it's hard to write a good story hook and a good concept out the gate And that's a really interesting one to me. So I hate to butcher it in any way so Maybe if we can flesh out The compulsion effect Or flesh out the Victorian lady Find a way to get her story a little more forefront Author says there's a whole deal with the poi guy and the cooperation between the foundation and other groups Poi who's definitely part of something I'm working on in the future So yeah, that's such a good hook. Oh my god Okay, so probably my main story suggestion is once you've taken out the compulsion That's gonna butcher your first addendum pretty hard Uh because you're not gonna have the security tussle. You're not gonna have the mind control You can have a different reason for any sort of sorry or something communicating But that's going to change that addendum a lot and then It'll change your second addendum a little but I think your first addendum should probably focus on the first communication finding out that it's sentient and some sort of rudimentary backstory of our object and then we get way more into the Almost like we find out that it's sentient In the first one that it can communicate through through fluorography But then in the second one we discover the relation to lot 76 and What's in its notebook and we're like, whoa, this is uh Pride and prejudice and zombies. This is Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter up in here Problem is this is a whole world This is the most straightforward item to start with I understand that I can tell you have a whole lot of story to tell I'm very very excited to hear it now so Maybe so yes, if I were to structure this Addendum one would be discovering that it can communicate discovering it is sapient And it's hard to communicate because it is Because it's speaking in fluorography. It's a limited language And then Your second addendum can be its evacuation Because it knew about it From its old days I think because it said it described a number of deaths following an unusual illness in a manner similar to victims of scpx I don't think it was I didn't think it was as linked as it could have been I think maybe her notes should be shockingly similar like these are really thorough notes on this scp we have contained And what happened to it back in the day? and that could be a Like this is how they contained it with victorian era Technology And this is how we did things. Oh my god the tales You are going to be able to tell with a victorian area foundation precursor That is so cool Evacuate flowers literally mean danger something which is you harm and flee. See that's really cool That's the world you are building. I'm so excited. I can't I'm so excited. I want to help with this So, okay, so I've been talking a lot of gibberish for the last little bit. We've been brainstorming this story uh for a while and Author do you have any leftover questions about anything because I've been going here and there and everywhere? I'm sure that Foundation researchers are going to have to watch this thing like 10 times to get my train of thought on where we should go with this And where I think anything should be Uh, that's why the story section is the hard part Because you have your ideas. I'm trying to decipher them through your story. I'm trying to decipher it through what you tell me We're trying to brainstorm together that people in the chat are trying to help out so God i'm so ready for this miniature canon of whatever you call these guys So I guess I'm kind of stalling because there's a 30 second delay in chat So I want to see if karnacle has any final questions for me to address before I go into the spelling and grammar run through Because it's always good to do one of those even though it looks heck of clean Might be something I stumble on Uh, or at least have more questions about as we run So i'm going to check the chat if anything comes up. Otherwise, I'm going to start my run through of the spag And not really any questions try some time outlining getting the agenda a little more solid coolio Let's run down the list of things that are here. Item number fine object class fine special contaminants teasers held in its original box in safe deposit a lot of on display in its original box in conjunction with other items cool ornate silver plated Okay, so I mentioned is it going to be silver or is it going to be gold? Uh, you can check to that Uh, icy wolf asks if I submitted an scp. Would you check it out? Uh, if you would like to submit an scp to the site 42 critique lab Send it to my gmail box, which is scp Site 42 at gmail.com and I would happily feature it on the show although it'll take a minimum of two weeks Uh, one scp draft is in line and then the following week I can look at it But yes submit it to scp site 42 at gmail.com and I'll gladly look at your draft in the later episode description ornate silver plated bouquet holder It is conical poxonately link poxonately seven and cross at the open end Touch roughly the midpoint find silver chain 10 meter length change remains in the silver pin Which can be inserted small hole into the open and serving to secure bouquet placed within open recovery upon recovery As we actually named the velvet line hinge wooden box with the initial e-card into the lid But also contain the cabinet card see that's good details. I love it. There's an e-card in the lid It's got a target quarter my chateau lane is written on the plot back collects two bouquets spontaneously manifested Okay, so anywhere you say hmm So anywhere you say scp xxx-1 In my head The word instances should usually follow that scp xxx x-1 instances vary in composition generally consisting of at least three different floral components Instances appear Usually appear within So you might be able to add the word instances Either after dash one or instead of using the number to change your repetition That might help I own the actual item. It is silver. I don't know why it's photographing gold. What? No, are you serious that? Okay, so it must be like an old-timey silver under like a yellow light So you might just need to change the lighting Uh Christian in the chat. It's a real thing Yes, ha hashtag scp's are real. Oh, no Huzzah Yay jokes Okay, so continuing on Yeah, it's probably like a light I can see where you might want to use like natural light from a window to get a whiter light Rather than a yellow light from like a light bulb that will probably make the difference And no, no, that's what it is. It's the blue black white gold dress. That's exactly what we're doing It's it's blue and black. It's white and gold. Oh, no, the dress is back All right, so we're gonna talk about whether to use instances or not Need different sentences Is not necessary for it to be empty for this to occur Contents current contents will appear usually appear next scpx is or upon a service Review by speaking video in case these manifestations and displacements are instance placing I have not produced by scpx and xpx immediate displacement to a nearby service may or not be accompanied by an instance cool Dear god, oh, I think those are the right terms cool While containing scpx, we're running fresh indefinitely. This preservation does not persist upon removal Of the will placement and that and the rest of the investigation not most properties Examination into all right. So beyond manifestation svx's dash one do not appear to possess anomalous properties Examination of individual components should be representative specials Okay, so you that may or may not get striped through depending on if you take away The compulsion effect So you'll decide on that you'll decide how that works um So constantly in the scp When you strike through something You show me what it replaces So you strike through appear in the paragraph above and this they usually appear you do it again strike through appear Then say usually appear But in this one you say beyond manifestation scpx's dash one do not appear to possess anomalous properties But then you don't say what you're replacing it with and so that confused me because You went on to say examination of individual components of scpx's dash one show them be represented specimens of their respective species Which is a separate idea. You didn't replace the strike through on that one So in my mind that consistency Just in future reference for other writers You want to make sure you're consistent in anything you do if you do it once Do it again if you don't do something continue not to do it Make sure that the rules stay the same throughout your writing Uh, for instance, every time I record an scp It is my Very specific rule that I say every digit of a number of an scp As an individual digit When i'm speaking as an official researcher But when I play a mobile task force member or a d-class i'll shorten it. So scp 3086 Is official scp 3086 Is casual and so I make sure every time I read a document It is one of those two things depending on what i'm reading and consistency make sure that your story stays coherent Okay, cool. So yeah, that's just a note for any writer who's doing anything Discovery scpx's was one of several of those items retrieved from an auction warehouse in blank illinois Indiana, sorry owned by a person of interest 707 249 who I'm so dreadfully interested in the ultimately death of this person of interest During an attempted burglary at the warehouse by persons unknown allowed mobile task force I would attend damp as secure the building the guys who look law enforcement before other interested parties could arrive Um, okay, so i'm curious. I got a story question now about this cool guy who we don't know about Well, nothing of value was taken. No such sex have been apprehended. Okay. That was my question is was anything missing Was anything? What's the deal? Could do we know if anything's missing? Is it unknown if anything's missing because nobody was there when he died? Uh christian mentions that Maybe not a compulsion but a cognitive hazard kind of forcing people making people want to learn fluorography Without them realizing it. I don't think that's necessary. I think it's really more interesting if like maybe karson Maybe not even researcher karson or maybe the librarian doesn't know But then the librarian is looking at the fluorography page of the book when a bouquet appears And because that ticks in their brain, they have to hunt down somebody who can Interpret it and that person is dr. karson So maybe Or maybe dr. karson is the librarian who also has an interest in fluorography or maybe karson is the librarian and they phrase i'm looking for karson is the librarian sees the fluorography and begins studying it because of that Or they give it to a researcher on the This item's research team and they that person on the research team becomes the interviewer or This person becomes the head of that research team because they are a piece of that research team because they communicate with it So your character is there you can play that out with who knows what and why Having the librarian all having the librarian get the message because they know fluorography seems I don't want to be too coincidental that the person already knows it. So having them learn it Might be good, especially because it's not terribly complex So if the person the librarian finds it and studies it they can then become an ancillary member of the team Because they can communicate with it or they can teach the team because it's not that hard something like that Because then lot 76 would be given to the research team and so it would be part of the team At that point because they wouldn't keep it in a separate area If lot 76 was all related to This scp it would all of a sudden become Part of the scp's containment procedures just in case something was needed Okay continuing on with the spag reading