 What I had locked down in our special relationship was actually a whole lot of deep beliefs about really loving others And when we went through this work, I realized that my terror was vulnerability and that in fact until I can let go of my grip on Raj I can't experience that intimacy with others when after I went through the experience in Bali I had a thing where I was really kind of showing that that God would have us like Princes or kings and queens walking through the Garden of Eden in it absolutely ecstatic love with each other all absolutely enchanted by each other This this deep deep intimacy That's how we were created to be And so what I'm finding now is that even moments with Helena will turn to each other and there's like this This light that transpires and then this intimacy these deep hearts and things That's I feel that's where we're all going to be in a Total presence with each other in the absolute recognition of the Christ and the other and this ecstatic blitz that I'm sure Such You know my movie watchers got to enlightenment. There's a movie in there that George Clooney Was guided to do he actually went in they already had an actor for the part But he went in and pleaded that he could play the part, but it's called Solaris And there's a great poem in there. It's really the core of releasing specialists and opening the holiness though lovers be lost Love shall not and death shall have no dominion And the whole movie George Clooney plays a psychologist who goes up to this planet called Solaris Which represents the divine will that that you know your thoughts Are instant you may manifest and his wife Had committed suicide and when he goes up to Solaris he goes to sleep this first night and his arm comes around and it's her it's actually a Australian actress very very beautiful and and he's just shocked and he gets up and he So terrified because it doesn't fit into his box. You know dead is dead and gone Her arm comes around and and she's so loving but she conveys to him, you know that she's not she's kind of confused because she's just playing out what's left in his mind of her Not seeing her whole and complete yet He's still playing things out about the suicide what he could have done differently and whatever and when she comes back Near Solaris. She's just playing this out. So he's so terrified of her Because it doesn't fit into his box and he puts her into like a little pot and It's the eject button and sends her away Then he goes to sleep the second night And she comes again as he's still thinking of her So it's Solaris. It's like the thoughts are made manifest instantly and and then he has to go through forgiveness process of that and in the end He realizes that he remembered her wrong That was his only problem Was he remembered her wrong and she comes back again at the very end of the movie, you know, it says everything is forgiven Everything like you can let go of however you remembered me Because the love is will be there forever and she gives him this big kiss and it's just beautiful and So that's really what we're opening to is, you know the ego through the ego We remembered our brothers and sisters wrong We didn't see the Christ in them and that's all these holy encounters are about is to see them anew And therefore accepted for ourself, you know, that we're the Christ and they're the Christ and that we just for time There's a memory that got in the way of grievances and judgments that