 Hey, welcome to the Darren Marlar radio show, my weirdos. Hope you're having a great day. And coming up on this Thursday edition, if you want to electronically whisper sweet nothings into your true love's ear, well do that via email instead of voicemail. I'll tell you why coming up later on. Hey, if you know somebody with lung cancer, I do have something coming up later in the show that you might be interested in looking into. But if you can't stick around for the entire show, I do have a link to it in my blog at DarrenOnTheEar.com if you want to jump into that right now. I don't want you to miss something if you actually do know somebody with lung cancer. My blog is DarrenOnTheEar.com. That's D-A-R-R-E-N, DarrenOnTheEar.com. Have you ever been so drunk that you couldn't remember what you did the night before? Well, that happened recently to one man and you will not believe what he did in our Brain On Drug Story today. We have an entire town in Scotland that has been lost. A boy thinks of kidnapping, so he won't get into trouble for being late to school in today's moment of death. Are you looking for a new employee to hire? Well, if you are, you might want to consider hiring a class clown. I'll tell you why. What one Georgia cop said to a driver that he pulled over is nothing short of totally outrageous. We got cartwheels and housekeepers making their way into today's weird holidays. I'll start the show today with this thought. For all of you on your way to work, wondering how you're ever going to cope with another weekday, just remember, it could be worse. Your boss could be a twin. The Darren Marlar Radio Show. Every day that you breathe, you make my life hard. This is going to be fun for you. Are you a twitface? Send Darren a message through Facebook, Twitter, or his website at DarrenMarlar.com. Thanks for joining me today, weirdos. Welcome to the Darren Marlar Radio Show, and it's time for today's weird, wacky, strange, zany, odd, bizarre, quirky, unusual holidays. Today is Thursday, September 7th, 2017. We now have 108 shopping days until Christmas, and today is Turn A Cartwheel In Public Day. Actually, the boss here at the radio station, he already did turn a cartwheel when I told him earlier that I was tendering my resignation. But then I told him I was joking and he stopped turning cartwheels and he became a sourpuss all over again. It's a National Field Love Day, you pansies. Today is neither snow nor rain day, which either has something to do with the U.S. Postal Service or the unexpected weather that we're going to be having this coming fall. Today is Google Commemoration Day. Ironically, I wasn't exactly sure how to spell commemoration, so I had to Google it. National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day. A National Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day. You'd think they'd come up with a shorter name for a day dedicated to people with short attention spans, wouldn't you? And this entire week, actually, September 4th through the 10th, it is International Housekeepers Week, which kind of reminds me of how I never received my allowance when I was a kid. My parents, they added this little addendum and whenever I left something out that my mom had to pick up for me, a quarter. It was deducted from my $5 a week allowance. She had to pick up my shirt off the floor, boom, 25 cents. G.I. Joe left out in the middle of the floor, boom, 25 cents. A pair of underwear, 50 cents, because underwear is considered a pair. Oh, another useless fact. There's such a worldwide shortage of trained butlers that a good one can now command up to $500,000 a year. Unless you work for a Kardashian, at which point, no matter what you make, you are way underpaid. Oh, that's not right. You found. You have fallen into disaster. No show. I'm a sad little man. Coming up, what one Georgia cop said to a driver that he pulled over is nothing short of totally outrageous. That story is coming up here in just a few. I'm Darren Marlar. If you like scary stories, well, I've been I've been putting out quite a few episodes of Weird Darkness recently and you can find them on my website at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, the next time you run into the grocery store and you grab a cart, beware the handle of that shopping cart. It could be very well coated in E. coli bacteria or fecal bacteria. A team led by University of Arizona microbiology professor, Dr. Charles Gerba, they swabbed 85 grocery cart handles in four states looking for bacterial contamination. And they found that, believe it or not, 72% harbored fecal bacteria. And upon closer examination, 50% had E. coli bacteria, as well as a host of other germs. Previous research has shown that children who ride in, who ride in shopping carts, they're more likely than others to develop infections caused by salmonella and campylobacter. If I'm pronouncing that right. Why do science have to make really long words? I don't understand that. Anyway, so you might want to carry some antibacterial wipes with you if you plan on going grocery shopping in the near future or do what I do and just become a hermit and order everything on Amazon. The following is an important public service announcement on behalf of the Center for Disease Scares. Following years of research, it has come to our attention that we are in great peril from all sorts of stuff. As a result of this, we are putting out the following advice to ensure that we all remain as healthy as possible. Please do not eat anything, as food has been known to cause all kinds of badness to your body. Don't drink anything either, as we know this to be the cause of other bad things. And while you're at it, best not to breathe in too often, as air is now bad for you. This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the Center for Disease Scares. Have a nice day. What time is it boys and girls? In Georgia, Cobb County police Lieutenant Greg Abbott. He has been moved to a desk job after being heard on video during a traffic stop saying, and I'm just going to say it the way it came out, alright? We only shoot black people. Yeah, the Dashcam video from July 2016, it shows a white female driver telling Lieutenant Abbott that she was scared to move her hands in order to get her cell phone. Well, Abbott interrupts her and says, but you're not black. Remember, we only shoot black people. Well, he didn't stop there either. He then said, yeah, we only kill black people, right? All the videos you've seen, have you seen the black people get killed? Well, Police Chief Micah Register said Abbott will remain on administrative duty pending an investigation adding that no matter what context it was said in, it should not have been said. Abbott's attorney Lance LaRusso said in a statement that Abbott is cooperating with the investigation that his comments were meant to deescalate a situation involving an uncooperative passenger. Abbott has been on the force now for 28 years and I'm guessing he is most fluent in the language of sarcasm. Hey, if you'd like to keep up with everything that I do, you can sign up for my newsletter. It's free. It's called the Marlar Sheet, and you can find it at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, Theme Park in Japan, they're offering a fight with bad guys service for men so that they can impress their dates. Although, come on, let's face it. I mean, if you can truly impress your date by taking her to a theme park which is known for letting you fight bad guys and win, your date will be over. Hey, if you'd like to get social with me, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Minds.com, LinkedIn, Instagram. I've got links to all of my social media at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, Francis' famed Notre Dame Cathedral, it is literally falling apart. And organizers of a restoration effort, they're asking for Americans to help. However, the Americans' suggestion of a ground-level cracker barrel is not without opposition. Time for today's birthday wrap-up. Celebrating birthday is today. We've got from an American werewolf in Paris, that thing you do, actor Tom Everett Scott is 45 today. You might remember her as Rousseau, that French chick on the TV show Lost. Mira Ferlin is 62 today. From major league movies, L.A. Law, he plays Sean Spencer's father on the TV show Psych. Corbin Burdson is 63 today. We have another actor from the TV show Lost, Michael Emerson. Personally, I know him best from the TV show Person of Interest. He is 63 today. From the Tracy Allman show, Rota, she's also the voice of Marge on The Simpsons. Actress Julie Kavner is 64 today. Mr. Shaw on Desperate Housewives, John Shaft in both of the movie, Shaft 2000 as well as the TV series. Richard Roundtree is 75 today. And from Scary Movie, the Johnson Family Vacation, American Pie, that 70's show, Shannon Elizabeth is 44. Welcome to the Darren Marlar Radio Show, Weirdos. And if you're looking for a new employee, you might want to consider hiring a class clown. I'll tell you why here in just a couple minutes. A Houston doctor, I love this story, he braved the hurricane Harvey floodwaters in a canoe to make his way to the hospital so he could perform surgery on a teen suffering from a painful and potentially permanent condition. Dr. Stephen Kimmel's own home in Dickinson, it was beginning to flood on Saturday when he received word that a 16-year-old boy needed immediate surgery at Clear Lake Regional Medical Center, where so Kimmel hopped in his car and he began making his way to the hospital but he was stopped by the rising waters. Two volunteer firefighters with a canoe, they came to his aid and the three paddled toward the hospital in the dark against heavy currents. Kimmel walked the last leg of the journey almost a mile through waste-deep water to make it to the hospital. If you want to read a little bit more about this story, have it bring a smile to your face, there's also a video that goes along with it. You can find it in my blog right now at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Coming up, a boy fakes a kidnapping so he won't get in trouble for being late to school in today's moment of death. Hey, I'm Darren Marlar and if you missed any part of today's show or maybe you want to catch up on past shows, you can find the podcast at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, if you want to hire a good employee, make sure that that person was a class clown. Yeah, research by American personnel managers reveals that workers with a sense of humor, they do a better job than the grouches. A hundred company bosses they were surveyed and 84% of them said the laugh-it-up employees, they were the best. So, hey, thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, why don't you give it up one more time? Joey from the mailroom, yay! How did this delightful chance encounter go south so quickly? The Darren Marlar Radio Show. I'm suffering for what you've gone to this town. That is not fair. Time for today's moment of death. And a 13-year-old boy, he has faked his own kidnapping to avoid getting into trouble over being late for school. The French teenager he had forged his mother's signature on a letter explaining why he was late one morning, but he was found out and decided to fake a kidnapping by cutting his face with a knife and pretending that he'd been grabbed by men in a car. Well, police then launched a four-hour search for the non-existent kidnappers before the boy finally admitted that he was lying. He was given a warning and he also needed stitches to the cut on his face. If you'd like to be a part of the show, you can email me anytime at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Cell phone use is ubiquitous, isn't it? A new research shows that it might be socially contagious, too. People are more likely to pull out their phones to check their text messages or email if they're with somebody who has just done the same. But then, you know what? That's probably because the person next to them is the one that just sent them the text. Because that's the world we live in now. Coming up right around the corner, I have a story about an entire town in Scotland that has been lost. Details on that coming up. Hey, if you like a few laughs after the show, you can check out my daily dose of weird news. Got a new episode every weekday, and you can get them at DarrenOnTheAir.com. So you're thinking about watching a horror movie? Well, you better keep that candy out of arms reach. Researchers at Arizona State University and Aramish University, the study that they conducted suggests that watching something that makes you think about death, like gory movies or crime dramas, they may trigger you to stress about mortality and overeat. It always happens to you, never to someone else. When it happens, there's nowhere to run. You cannot prepare for the shock of cold shower. There's no time to turn it off. There's no time to grab a towel. There's only time to scream. Shower. It was so real. It sent chills down my spine. It was really real. When the hot water runs out, it leaves you more than just wet. It woke me up. Now showing everywhere. It was amazing how happy Darren Marlar said Darren Marlar Radio Show. You ever been so drunk that you just couldn't remember what you did the night before? Well, that happened recently to one man. You won't believe what he did during his drunken stupor in our brain on drug story coming up. Hey, if you want to like me, poke me, tweet me, follow me, stalk me, you can find links to all of my social media at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, lost. It's a tiny village in Scotland, and its name is Lost. But it's not lost. Well, not quite. See, residents in the village of Lost in Aberdeenshire, they're appealing for Lost to be found. The signpost for their village, it is gone missing. According to a spokeswoman for the town, Lost is a tiny village, and it's quite difficult to find at the best of times. Well, now that somebody has taken the signpost, people are getting even more lost. We are appealing for Lost to be found, and for the signpost to be returned, she said. See, see that way, people trying to find Lost will find Lost and not be found looking for Lost because they're lost. Say what? The most significant event on the internet today. Listen up. The Darren Marlar Radio Show. Darren Marlar Radio Show. You have to continue to personally, personally torture me. If you like stories of the paranormal or unsolved mysteries, you might want to check out my show Weird Darkness, which I post on my website, DarrenOnTheAir.com. I usually have a new episode every Tuesday and Saturday. With the University of Rochester, it reports that children who eat candy cigarettes are more likely as adults to smoke real cigarettes. Either that or they're more likely to eat Marlboro Reds. If you're like me, you love to smoke, right? But you're tired of paying all those high prices for cigarettes. Well now you can have all the benefits of a good puff and pay less at Ginger's Second Hand Smoke Shop. Hi. I'm Ginger. Come on in and take a deep breath and you'll see what I mean. Ginger's Second Hand Smoke Shop. Where there's so much second hand smoke you won't need your own cigarettes. Ginger's Second Hand Smoke. Call ahead for reservations. Well, here is a guy with a serious drinking problem. A New Zealand man, he got so drunk, he apparently forgot that he had sold his car and he contacted police the next day to report it stolen. Our friend sold the vehicle so he could get cash to, well, what else, buy more alcohol during his drinking binge. But he couldn't remember his actions the next day. He reported his car missing to police but then the man who purchased his car on the car selling site Car Jam, he came forward. Sergeant Dennis Murphy explained, thankfully the man who bought the car checked the registration the next day on the Car Jam website and he was worried that it might have been stolen. See the lesson here, do not drink and sell cars. If you'd like to keep up with everything I do, you can sign up for my newsletter. You can find the Marlar sheet at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, if you know somebody with lung cancer, this might be something that you'll be interested in looking into. Some kinds of lung cancer tumors, they really like sugar and blocking that sweet tooth, it might offer a way to treat cancer. The team at the University of Texas at Dallas, they were looking for simpler ways to tell one kind of cancer cell from another and they discovered that squamous cell tumors which account for about 25% to 30% of lung cancer tumors, they slurp up more sugar than other types of cancer cells. If you want to read a little bit more about this and watch a couple of videos on the topic, well, I have posted them in my blog which you can find right now at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Darren is spelled D-A-R-R-E-N. DarrenOnTheAir.com. And now another... useless fact. A day on mercury lasts approximately as long as 59 days on Earth. That means a traditional work day there would be about 157 hours. On the plus side though, your lunch break would be about 20 hours. Finally, enough time to drive to Burger King and back without worrying about your boss chewing you out for taking too long. What's funny? The Darren Marlar Radio Show. Where's the banter? I heard there was going to be banter. Sign up to get Darren's newsletter on his website at DarrenMarlar.com. Thanks very much. Thanks for joining me on The Darren Marlar Radio Show. My weirdos, I really appreciate it. If you want to get social with me, you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Minds.com, LinkedIn, Instagram. I got links to all of my social media at DarrenOnTheAir.com. Well, if you want to electronically whisper sweet nothings into your one true love's ear, you might want to do that via email instead of voicemail. Why? Well, in email, it's more effective than a voice message when it comes to expressing romantic feelings according to researchers from Indiana University in Bloomington. And that's actually surprising. Previous research, not to mention good old common sense, it would suggest that a voicemail message is a more intimate way to connect with others, especially with somebody you love. But apparently, that's not true, at least not for millennials. And so following this logic, then the perfect marriage proposal would come via text message then. Am I right? Good night, ladies. Hit it, sweetheart.