 But Oliver, darling, what difference does it make if Mr. Harkness caught a perch or a bass? There's a lot of difference. But, Pop, Mr. Harkness said it was a bass. I said it was a perch. Harkness never caught a bass. Listen, Oliver, what difference does it make? It makes a lot of difference. But it didn't have any stripes, Pop? Probably too young to have them. Oliver, please. Uh-oh, here we go again, folks. Well, this whole thing started when Oliver came home with some new fishing tackle to use tomorrow on a fishing trip. Mr. Harkness and neighbor brought home a couple of fish, and Junior thought it was quite a feat of skill. The whole thing now has dissolved into who is going, when they're going, and where they're going. Now, it's time to go back to the fishing trip. And Junior thought it was quite a feat of skill. The whole thing now has dissolved into who is going, when they're going, and where they're going. No one seems to agree. So, as usual, Oliver Anderson is trying to sell them and the idea of going where he wants to go. There, now you see this map? Roads are good and the lake won't be crowded. But it's so far, Oliver. Why don't we just go down to the river? What? Watch the crawdabs eat off the bait? Not me. This is going to be a fishing trip out for the big ones. What's this big imitation minnow for, Pop? Oh, what? The green one there? Yeah. It says shore lure for pickerel. Pickerel? There aren't any pickerel around here, Oliver. Oh, doesn't hurt to have a plug for them in case we run into one. But three dollars, Pop. Three dollars? For that? Oliver, you told me the whole thing would be over 250. Leave the rest of that stuff alone, Junior. And if you see any more price tags, just be still. Okay, Pop. This little green line here, 15 cents. Is it a stringer, Pop? No. That's for you. For me? Yeah. Gee, I don't want to go and just watch a piece of string. It's the only way to learn, Junior. Now you just watch me. I don't know. Maybe you and Homer better just go on alone. Homer's going, isn't he? I don't know. I haven't checked with Martha yet. Oh, Mrs. Meister's in a swell mood, Pop. Mr. Meister brought home a pair of slacks for her yesterday. Slacks? On Martha? Uh-uh-uh. Little pictures have big ears, Oliver. I know. Were the slacks yellow? Yeah, Pop. How did you know? Oh, I saw her pulling weeds out in the backyard and I thought someone had driven up in a yellow cab. Oliver, that's not funny. I thought it was. I'll go, Mom. Never mind. I'll get it myself. Probably Martha wanting to show off her new slacks. Oh, Homer. Come on in. Okay, stay with the minute, Mary. Come here, Homer. You want to see some real tackle? Oh, good. I thought you'd back out on the trip. Oh, hi, Mr. Meister. Well, well, hello, sonny. Got them worms all dug. Oh, coffee jar full. Oh, that's the boy, Dave Nevitt. If you want it done right, turn it over to Junior. Now, Junior, five o'clock in the morning comes mighty fast. You get to bed. Five o'clock? Oh, okay. Gee, do we have to sneak up on them in the dark? Were you worried I wasn't going tomorrow, Homer? Well, it sure was. This trip cost me a pair of slacks and a pair of wedges. And I still ain't sure I'm going. Hmm, bribery never gets you anywhere, Homer. Oh, don't, eh? Oh, you just don't know, Homer. Oh, me. Hmm. Well, let's see. We should leave about 5.30, right? Oh, it's kind of early. We can drive there in 30 minutes. 30 minutes? Look, look, if you drive that car of yours there in 30 minutes, you're going alone, brother. Well, Shock, Round Lake's only 12 miles. We're not going around Lake. We're going to Square Lake. Ain't no fish in Square Lake. And you're not allowed to fish in Round Lake. Shall I slip a coin? No, no, no coin. It's my car, and I'm going where I want to go for once. But, Homer, it's against the law to fish in Round Lake. Not for me. Been fishing there for nine years now. Well, Homer ought to know, Oliver. Look, look, I like to be a grill, but I also like to fish. No, sir. It's Round Lake or nothing, Dagnevitt. Well, for me, it's Square Lake. You boys go alone. This is going to be no trip for a woman and a little boy. Isn't the toast ready yet? Good heavens take your time, Oliver. Only one person. It's only ten minutes after five. Is coffee supposed to boil? Boil? Of course not. Well, you'd better start another potful. This one's boiling. Boiled or no boiled. It's the last of the coffee. No. Well, it hasn't boiled long. It's still pours. I wonder we haven't awakened Junior with his noise. He doesn't want to go anyhow, not to Square Lake. I thought Homer said he was going to Round Lake. Well, if he does, we make two trips. Well, now what was that? The door. That you, Homer? It's me, Mom. It is I. It is not. It's Junior. Oh. You up already? Sure. I've been helping Mr. Meister push his car. Started? Oh, sure. I didn't know you wanted to go, Junior. Well, Homer acting the way he does. Gee. You mean I'm not going, Pop? Well, I thought maybe... Of course you're going, Junior. Gee, you have me fooled, Pop. I thought you meant it. Yeah. Well, is everything ready? Mr. Meister is waiting for you now. How does he act? All right to me. Well, let's not rile him up again. Is Martha going with Homer? Now, wait a minute. No, Mrs. Meister isn't going. Mr. Meister says women make too much noise. They do, huh? Now, wait, Mary. You can go to a show this afternoon. You know, Oliver, when we started planning this, I was to go along. I know that, Mary. And I don't think I'm going to let Homer have his own way for once. Spoiled man. Well, you know I'm willing. That's fine. Then I'll get ready. Get ready? But we're all ready to start now. I won't be over five minutes. Oh. Gee, Pop, five minutes. And Mr. Meister is already angry. Let's get started. All right. Just keep your mac and a... I don't care. Well, sure be your leaf, not have Martha along. Women are bad luck fishing. Oh, they are, huh? Yeah, we're sure they gab too much. Gab, gab, gab. Well, let's go, Pop. Uh, yeah. Just a minute. Homer wants to let the car warm up a bit. Hey, she's all warmed up. And if we don't pull out now, there ain't no use in going. Well, look, shouldn't we put a little more air in this rear tire, Homer? It's a long trip. But we ain't going to Square Lake. We're going to Round Lake. Look, Homer, we go fishing to catch fish, right? Look here, it's my car, and I'm going to Round Lake. I'm all ready. What, what'd she say, Oliver? What? She said she's ready. Oh. See? It doesn't take long. Shall we go? You're getting back with me, Mom. No, no, no. You keep that stuff from falling. Well, now look here, Oliver. Quiet, quiet, quiet. Look, Mary. I'll sit in front, and you can sit on my lap. Now, Oliver, you said we were... Quiet. Come on. Let's get in. Oh, crowded. Oh, would you be comfortable there? Are you kidding? Yeah, it's going to be a pretty big load, Oliver. Oh, come now. Don't be a wet rag. Climb in. If you can find room, and I'll guide you from this side. Just sit tight now, and I'll open this gate. That makes three gates. Look, Oliver, that sign on the gate. Trespassers will be prosecuted. I can read. Well, we're just being time to greet the sun. This gate, Oliver. It's clear sailing now, right down to the dock. That gate had a sign on it. Trespassers will pay the full penalty of the law. Oh, that. Oh, gosh, that's been there for years. Hey, there we are. Round Lake. Oh, dang, never didn't she pretty. Get that jug off my feet, Homer. Just a minute, I can't do everything. Oh, boy, let me get my tackle on. Wait a minute. Don't tangle all the lines up. Take it easy. Well, there's no need of spoiling the trip for Junior. Well, I'm not. I want a fish, too. Oliver, that cabin up from the dock. Yeah, probably abandoned. Well, if it is, they left the fire going. There's smoke. Well, now let's not spoil a day with willy-nilly talk. OK, Homer, here's Round Lake. You have what you wanted. Shall we fish? Yep, yep, yep. You just follow me now. Right down this path. That sun isn't going to be too bright either. Yeah, fish bite better that way. Mom, I got caught for this hook. Oh, now what? You go on ahead. We'll catch up. You know something? Women don't belong on no fishing trip. I don't see why. What's wrong with it? Well, men ought to be alone sometimes. Yeah, but when you tell them they can't do this and they can't do that, you're apt to be alone a long time. Well, of course, I don't want to argue, nun. I ain't the argument. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. Ah, boy, here we are. Oh, dagnabbit, look at that clear water. Ate even a ripple. I sure wish I was younger so I could enjoy it longer. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Well, let's bait up. Well, maybe we better use grasshoppers for bait. I see. We have worms, but you want to use grasshoppers. Got 15 of them in this jar. Only thing to catch bass with. OK, you ought to know. Gee, water's only four feet deep. Yep, got to throw all the waves. Well, here she goes. Ah, rail's working perfect. Well, here's what we've been waiting for. Let's get your line in. And keep quiet like a hand me a grasshopper homer. Caught anything pop on his bike? Shush, shush, shush, dagnabbit. Not so much shit. Put a worm on your hook and drop off to sleep. I'll watch it for you. Oh, that's no fun. Shhh. Hey, there's one eye in the bait. Oh, give me room, give me room. There is no room. Not even enough room for the two of us to sit out here on the pier. Here, Junior. Put your jacket on. Shhh. Oh, man, hurry. Quiet. Why? Someone's sick? No, but it wouldn't take much to make homer that way. Hey, hey, he's nosing the bait. No, no. Now watch out for action. I'll get in the robot pop. Out of the way. Oh, now there's two of them. Oh, watch everything now. Wait, Junior. Don't jump in the boat. Junior, hang on. Oh, grab him all over. Junior, watch out! Take it. Now they're both in. Here, Mary. I went after them, but I got them a good pants on. A good pants only up to her waist. Stand up, Mary. It's not deep. Here, take this oar. I'll grab it when I hand it to you. Hey, someone's coming from the cabin and coming fast. Okay, let them come. Now, Mary, grab this oar. Junior can stand up. Be quiet. I've seen you beating that woman over the head with that oar. I was doing no such thing. I've seen what a seener did. He's my mother and there's Mary. Well, being Mary, don't give you no right to beat her on the head with no oars. I'm not hitting her with an oar. I can make it, Oliver. Now, you're both okay. Madam, my name is Crumpet. Senator O.C. Crumpet. My cabin's right out there, Yonder. You get up there with that poor boy and get them duds dried. Oh, I couldn't think of it. Now, that's all right. All right. Don't you be afraid. Nobody's going to bother you, none. Sure, the one who bothers us. Well, no now, lady. And I'll handle this vomit here would hit you with that oar. Now, back to the Andersons. Homer Meister, the man next door, has taken the Andersons around Lake to Fish, regardless of the no trespassing signs on the gates. Just as they started to fish, Junior fell in the water and Mary fell in trying to get him out. The water was only waist deep, so no harm was done. A pretty tough character showed up to see Oliver helping Mary out with an oar and thought he was beating her with it. Well, shall we join them? I'm slowly freezing to death, Oliver. Well, gee, honey, you're just going up to my cabin and dry out. Ain't nobody going to bother you at all. I got some talking to do with this fellow here. That's you, Pop. I know it. Go on, get dry. I'll fish a pile. If I need your alcohol. Okay, Mary. You get that young and warmed up a bit. I'm okay. Thanks. He's polite, young one. That's the way he should be. Hey, where'd that other fellow get to? Oh, Homer? He went back to the car. He likes it quiet when he fishes. Yeah, it seems like I've seen his face before. Don't he do cement work? Yeah, he lives at 345 Plainview, just next door to me. 345 Plainview? No right where it is. Look, look, I'm going to sit on the end of the pier and fish. Do you have any objections? Nope, nope. I'm going to do a bit of fishing myself. Now that I know you ain't abused women. She just fell in. I know that now, but I was sure coming at you, Bob. Well, let's have it quiet now. Much room at the end of the pier, here. Yeah, plenty of room. You're fishing where I generally sit. I'm sorry, but I'm here now. Well, I'll fish alongside of you here on this end. Well, now look, it's pretty crowded here. Well, just show your line. Don't drift across mine. Well, you just watch yours. Mine's all right. You sure threw in a good spot by them lily pads. Oh, I fished before. You know, there's something melancholy about fish. They got such sad eyes. I hadn't noticed. Yep, a whole lot like people. You know, a fellow living alone out here gets to know fish. I never met one, except across a counter. Yep, you know, sometimes I come down every day and feed him bread. If him fish could walk, they'd follow me around just like a dog. Wait, wait, wait. I had a bite. Yeah, just a little one. Yep, I kind of hate to see folks catch a fish. Makes me feel sad. Kind of mad, too. Oh, don't see why. Oh, of course you don't. You know, you folks come out and catch them and throw them back in, just to see how big they was. Better watch your line there. It's crossing mine. Oh, won't do no harm. Yep, I'd sure like to see a man throw a fish back in after he took them out. I'd throw him back in with a fish. You're lying. Now, now watch it. Won't do no harm. Yep, some folks don't appreciate fish. They think they ain't got fish. It sure looks like this ain't your day. Just not. Mary and Junior must be dry by this time. Yeah, been going about two hours. Nice little woman. I think so. I'll be down in a minute, Oliver. Okay, no hurry. Look, look down there alongside of that dead log. On the bottom, there's a bass. Sure as dandy. Looks a lot like my mother-in-law. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, that's it. I'll drop my line over there beside him. Me, oh my. I wish you could see Alfred. Alfred, who's he? He's fish. I just call him Alfred. He looks a lot like a cousin I had once by that name. Alfred's my favorite. Favorite cousin? Favorite fish. I don't know what I'd do to anyone who caught him with the hook. He almost eats out of my hand. Got a big red spot right under his left eye. Look, look, mister, do you have any place to go or anything to do for an hour or so? Well, no, can't say I have. Well, then I'm pulling my line in and getting out of here. Yep, it's kind of discouraging. Now me, well, I catch one or two for food. Some folks don't know how to cook fish. They put that corn meal stuff all over them. Me? Well, I pour over a can of tomato soup, a couple of cloves of garlic, and sprinkle a bit of flour over it. Hold it, hold it, hold it. Quiet, quiet, hold it. Look out, now, give me room to play in. Now, now, wait, pardon me. Who you shoving? Oh, there goes my line, too. Let me whip him, bud. Get over. Lay off now. Let me land this. Now, move over. Hurry up. Don't whip him around. Bring him an easy life. Don't tell me how to fish. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold your line, sir. Quiet. Go on home. That's a land of that. Get the calf. Get married. Get out of the way. That's it. That's it. That's it. Bring him an easy life now. There he is. Wait, wait, wait. That's Alfred. Huh? You called Alfred. You know my line, too. What do you mean your line? Hmm, we are tangled up. Of course they are. You can seize on my line. Oh, it is, huh? Who brought him in? Whose line was he on? Answer that. Go ahead, partner. Answer that. Now, look, brother, don't get pushy. I landed him. Oh, Oliver, you caught a fish. Oh, hi, ma'am. Yeah. It's Alfred. Yes, it's... Huh? Who's Alfred? He said fish, ma'am. Fish? Hmm, you've been talking too long to Oliver. Well, anyhow, it's mine. Say no such things. Boys, boys, please. Well, there's only one way to settle this. Get your hands off of that fish. I can't see you're hankering for trouble, partner. Well... And I ain't gonna disappoint you. Please, let's not have trouble over, uh, Alfred. This is gonna be settled right now. He's gonna be settled my way. You stay right where you are, Formant. Gee, Mary, what you gonna do? I don't know. Oh, here comes Junior. Hope he doesn't touch him. Don't worry. He won't. He's going to the cabin. Uh-oh. He has three guns hanging on the wall. Huh? Go to the car quickly, Junior. What for, Mom? Gee, I wanted to go... Go to the car! Never mind. Oliver, if he gets a gun... Guns? What? Brother, grab that tackle quick. I'll bring Alfred. Homer. Homer! Quick! Wake up! Huh? Uh... Me? Huh? Huh? What's up? Your number, if we stall here. Huh? Hop in. Hurry, Junior. Gee, I-I-I don't quite get the hurry, Mom. Never mind. We'll explain on the road. You're crushing me, Oliver. Watch out for Alfred. Now, here, Homer. Take Alfred. I won't do it. Here he comes, Oliver. Gee, Pop, something ringed in the sun. Guns? Come back here, you poor thing! Get going, Homer! Belts besides on my feet. I'll try. Oh, gee, what a fish. What a beauty. Oh, brother, what a meal. Oh, sure is, Oliver. Hey, look. Are you-are you through with my unit? Well, yes, so why? Well, take it out of my lap then. I've got the new blue jeans on. Oh. Come on, Gee, Pop. Why did you have to start a fuss? I didn't start a fuss. I sat there for three hours and caught nothing until Alfred took a chance. Well, I didn't like that fella from the first time I've seen him. You know, he had a sort of a dangerous glint as I did. Yep, I can smell trouble a mile off. Well, we don't think he'd shoot just over a fish, do you? He might over this one. Remember, it's Alfred. But I didn't get a chance to fish, Pop. You fell in, didn't you? Well, yeah, but... Oh, Mary, here. Hold Alfred till I button up my jacket. Gee, I wouldn't fail to touch him. Wrap him in a paper. Hold his suffering, Mirko. You know what would help? I guess if I opened up the window. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. I'll put that old fella's back there and mash in his teeth. I don't think he is, Oliver. Huh? There's a car following us when he's gaining. There is? Hmm. Step on it, Homer. Well, I can't lose him on the road. But I'll bet you four dollars he can't follow me across these fields. All right, hang on to your hat, everybody. Here we go. Well, here we are home. Well, I told you we'd have fish for dinner. Yeah, that's great, Pop, but I didn't get to fish. Oh, well, you'll enjoy eating him anyway. Well, frankly, if that's what men want to do alone, I'll never ask to go again. Oh, well, today was an exception. You know something? I bet that fellow would have shot at him if he'd been close enough to us. Jeepers, Pop. Mr. Meister sure can drive through fields, can't he? Oh, that's his tractor training. Well, shall we prepare, Alfred? We'd better. Junior, put Alfred on the back porch until I get my clothes changed, will you? Oh, why don't you let that poor fella have the fish, Pop? Because I caught it, that's why. But he'd grown fond of him, Oliver. I don't care about that. I'll take him out in the back porch, Junior. Okay. Gee, he's a pretty good-sized fish. A pound? He'll go four pounds if he goes an ounce. That's probably Homer. Tell him we haven't cooked it yet. My goodness. Where's that fish stealing vomit? Hell to my way, lady. I never strike a woman. Oh, wait a minute, Bob. So we meet again, eh? Put up that gun. I ain't got no gun. Don't tell me that. I saw the sun glint on something shiny. There weren't no gun. That was a knife. Oh, no, please. Not in here, anyway. Call someone, Mary. Get Homer. Oh, that partner. I ain't aiming to hurt nobody. Yet. But the knife. Oh, oh, oh. When you rounded your cabin, you said you'd settle us in your own way. Yep. That I did. Well, I was, uh, I was going to cut Alfred in two and give you half of them. Oh, well, thank goodness. You see, I ain't a killing man, but I just couldn't sit home wondering what had happened to Alfred. Probably being rolled in some old cornmeal or something. Oh. Well, that's what's worrying you. Yes, ma'am. You see, some folks don't understand a fish. A fish spends 10 years growing up to be fit for a king. Then some bum cook spoils it all in five minutes. Oh, now I see. You weren't mad at me. You were interested in Alfred's future. And that's right. I'm going to see Alfred through to the end. Well, oh, I'm glad that, Saddle. Would you like to sit in on Alfred's farewell with us, Mr. Crumpet? Well, that's right sporting of you, ma'am. I wish I had to admit the likes of you when I was younger. Oh, what would Alfred have done? Oliver. Well, Mary, when you fry Alfred, I'll put plenty of shortening in the pan. Well, hold on, hold on right there, partner. Huh? There ain't nobody frying Alfred. Well, I got a breath left in my body. I agree with you. We'll broil it. Oh, no, no, ma'am, please. Alfred deserves the best. We'll bake him. I don't like baked fish. We'll fry him. You mean we'll broil it? I see we bake it. And I can bake it up, too. Who's coming in? Probably Alfred. Gee, I heard you clear up in the back, Pop. Well, I'm sorry, Junior, but we just can't agree on how to cook Alfred. Oh, so that's it. Well, then gee, Pop, you don't have to argue anymore. Huh? Meister's cat just went over the fence with him. The Anderson family is written by Howard Swarth. Directed by Herb Lytton. And features Dick Lane as Oliver. Louise Arthur as Mary. Walter Tetley as Junior. And Herbert Rawlinson as Homer. Cyril Crumpet was played by Doug Young. Music by Gordon Kibbe. Sound effects by Ray Erlenborn. And your announcer is Ken Peters. The Anderson family is a Hollywood broadcaster's production. Transcribed from Hollywood.