 Okay, so, reading from Matthew 22 and verses 37 onwards, maybe from verse 35, then one of them, a lawyer asked him a question, testing him and saying, Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments, hang all the law and the prophets. So the Lord was giving a very foundational truth to the scribe, and he asked, you know, which is the great commandment? And one was about this twofold and it was about loving God and loving people, right? So when it comes to leadership, it's about loving God, it's about loving people. So the people whom we lead, we are there to lead, instruct, direct and so on. But it comes from a place of loving them, right? And when we say loving people, it doesn't mean that we don't speak the truth. We understand that because love, when it comes to love, we need to speak the truth in love and love is not devoid of truth. So it is about speaking truth. It is about when you when you express love for someone, it is about correcting them in love. It is about confronting in love. It is about it is about all that, right? So it is about being firm. It is about discipline and everything in love. So this love doesn't mean that acceptance of anything and everything in terms of in terms of speech and behavior and everything. But if we truly love, then we need to intervene, okay? So because that's how God loves us. I love God loves us, God cares for us that he would step in and do what is required, what is necessary. So we don't step out of line or we don't end up in a different place when it comes to the destiny that he has for us. So when it comes to loving people, this is very, very important, okay? But the foundation is this, that when it comes to leadership, it's about loving God and loving people as well, okay? So let's pray and in today's class, we, of course, we're going to be looking at that aspect of people and how do we win with people, okay? So let's pray. Father, we thank you for this day, Lord. We thank you for this time. We thank you for this exhortation, this instruction, God, that Lord, the greatest thing is to love you, this commandment is to love you and at the same time love the people whom you have entrusted, God, whom we oversee, oh God, and yes, Master, we pray that you will enable us to do it in the right way, Father, God, because Lord, the way that we do it in spirit, God, and the letter, God, we know that it will be, it will give life rather than Lord, take away something, God, you know that it will build up rather than break down. So, Master, we pray that even as we prepare ourselves, Lord, to be the people whom you've called us to be, Lord, to be the leaders, Lord, whom you've called us to be, oh God, we pray that you will teach us this important truth as well, and I pray that you will enable us to walk in this truth, Father, God. Yes, Master, we commit ourselves into your mighty hands today in Jesus' matchless name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Okay, so, yeah, so let's look at this, the second section that we've been looking, we've been studying, you know, we're just starting off with that. So it's about winning with the people, okay, it's about winning with people, meaning it's, we're looking at a win-win situation when we are leading, and so we know that, you know, leadership involves people, leadership cannot be in a vacuum, you know, it, ministry involves people, right, so we are leading people, we are engaging with people, right, so many times we could be very skillful at what we do, but if we, you know, if we miss out on this aspect of skill, which is relating to people, which is, you know, relating, encouraging, in other words, engaging with people in the right way, the ones whom we are leading, the ones whom we are giving oversight to, if we miss out on that aspect of skill, right, then our knowledge and ability, you know, doesn't really, it's a small part of it, right, we need to have this skill as well in order to bear fruit, in order to see success, because, I mean, the Lord very clearly said, you know, this is the greatest commandment that it involves God, it involves receiving from Him, and it involves giving to and expressing to the people, right, so, so the thing is that we need to have that perspective, you know, some of us are maybe gifted in that area, or we are, it's a natural part of our personality, right, so in relating to people, in, you know, putting people first, and we have a natural tendency towards it, right, but whether we have a natural tendency or not, whether it's, you know, natural part of our personality or not, this is something that we can and we need to grow in, right, and all of us, you know, we are at different levels, we could be at different levels in this particular area, when it comes to dealing with people, understanding people, and so on, okay, so we can develop it, okay, that's the first thing that we need to understand that if we feel that, okay, we are lacking in this area, okay, I'm not able to really, you know, crack this whole thing, or I'm not able to find traction with people, you know, get a grip on the people whom I'm leading, I always seem to be at, you know, having some kind of loose ends here, I seem to have a loose at grip, then, yeah, we need to, we need to know, understand that we can grow in this, right, it is possible to grow in this, right, so, yeah, so let's, let's look at some of these principles, and we are looking at this book, a compilation of the content from Winning with People by John C. Maxwell, you know, John C. Maxwell has written many books on leadership, and teams, and so on, and maybe you've read a few of them, so this is a compilation of content, the content that we are sharing right now is a compilation of that, right, and John C. Maxwell was a very, you know, successful, I think, pastor, and a big congregation, and he just felt the call of God to get into, you know, while pasting the church to start writing the books on leadership that will actually benefit the body of Christ and the world beyond, right, so, so he just went into that, and it proved to be a very, very fruitful venture, right, so many lives were touched, many lives continue to be touched, and he continues to, because he's a very kind of elderly person now, but he continues to give, you know, workshops and so on, on leadership, so, and the basis for that is the Bible, the basis for that is the Lord Jesus himself, so he draws a lot from the Word of God, and shares that, so we're going to be looking at that, you know, Winning with People by John C. Maxwell, and these are, so we're going to look at five parts to it, okay, so one is getting ourselves ready to relate with others, you know, what is it that we can do personally, and these are all, you know, small nuggets of information, and small, you know, changes that we can make, or small learnings, and maybe some things that we are already walking in, right, so these are things that that will really help us in order to get ourselves ready to relate to others, it can work, it can act as a checklist as well, you know, am I having this in my life, am I doing this, right, so getting ourselves ready, second thing is what is our outlook, okay, what is our outlook, is it in, is it, you know, when it comes to relating to people, it helps if my focus is outwardly rather than inwardly, right, the focus is on others, then it causes us to thrive and flourish, right, so it's not that we do not mindful of our needs or mindful of our areas that we work on, right, but when it's not that, but then we go beyond that and the focus is on others, okay, the third thing is when it comes to us and and the people that we are working with, we need to build something which is trust, you know, that's the bedrock or that is the basic foundation based on which, you know, all a successful relationship can be, can be nurtured, okay, which is trust, right, so building mutual trust, you know, how do we do that to give trust and to receive trust as well, then the fourth one is about nurturing relationships, so relationships, they don't happen automatically, okay, so we think that, okay, I, you know, this is great, you know, we're just having a great friendship or great relationship and it's, everything's going fine, but the thing is that, you know, either intentionally or not, we do some things which actually nurture relationships, okay, so when it comes to a work relationship, when it comes to a ministry team kind of a setting, we need to intentionally nurture, intentionally nurture these relationships, which means that we need to take a step and do certain things and carry out certain things in order to have those results, right, so, so what are those or some basic principles about nurturing, then creating win-win relationships, right, so where we as leaders or we as facilitators, you know, the overall, the overall objective is also met and also the person, you know, individually or personally also adds value, there's value add to their lives, right, so we are adding something into their lives in order to win, in order to help help those kind of relationships, right, help reach those objectives both personally as well as corporately as, right, so let's look at the first one, first section which is getting ourselves ready to relate with others, okay, so again a basic thing is that relationships are essential part of our life, right, some of us are maybe we are used to doing things on our own and we maybe keep to ourselves, right, and we are comfortable doing that maybe, right, but we need to understand that when we work with or in a team, then it involves people and we need to break out of maybe our comfort zone, if we are comfortable just working with, excuse me, working with ourselves or doing things on our own or not really interacting with others, then we need to kind of grow out of that or stretch beyond that comfort level, okay, so there's only so much we can do when it comes to doing things alone, but there's a lot more that can be done when we when we do things together, okay, and that aspect of it we're going to look at the third section which is the which is about teams and teamwork and team dynamics, right, so that is also a very interesting one, so we see that how do you function in teams and that's what, so we realize that, okay, there's one if we can do one thing alone, then we can actually do 10 things when we put our strength together when we, you know, that one thing is greatly multiplied, enhanced when we do things together and so on, okay, so yeah, when it comes to getting ourselves to relate to others, we understand that, okay, we can do more, we can do much more with people, okay, so we don't have to isolate, we can actually see that there's this great value doing things together, okay, so like somebody said 15% of success is attributed to job knowledge, okay, how do I do things done, how do I get this, you know, how do I acquire this skill, how do I apply this skill, like 15% of it and 85% of it is our ability to connect with people and when we're saying connect with people, maybe, you know, encouraging, motivating to get things done, maybe ideas, getting of ideas, implementation of ideas, right, there's so many moving parts to a particular process, right, in the sense that I'm, you know, if you look at the machinery itself, there are so many, so many moving parts, so many things that are, you know, for that output to come, right, maybe it's something to do with your, you know, it's a simple thing like your gadget, like your washing machine, or, or, you know, whatever that you use daily, an appliance, you see that there are, you know, many small things that are there, they go together, they work in order to achieve that output, so similarly, in any team or organization, there are many functions, processes, right, so and so, which means that the 85% of it, of success is the ability to connect with people and to get, you know, make, ensure that everything goes smoothly, so it depends on how we relate, how we connect, and how we get the things done, right, so if you look at ministry, okay, we, we work with other people, okay, Ecclesiastes 4 talks about that, right, about the, the cord of three strands and how it is strong and so on, so we work with other people, okay, so no person is an island, no person is an isolation, we also learn from others, right, we see, when it comes to the body of Christ itself, 1 Corinthians 12 talks about that, you see that we are the body and we are members of that body and each member does its part, right, so does its part of receiving or ministering or receiving strength or giving strength and so on, so we learn from others, okay, so and we are also uniquely gifted in order to edify one another, okay, 1 Corinthians 12 talks about that, 1 Peter 4, so you know, you can read these scriptures at leisure, but just wanted to, you know, just mention that we are called to, you know, to be in the body, we are gifted to serve in the body and then again, we are commissioned by the Lord to disciple other people, not to reach out to other people, to be that city on a hill, right, to be that influence and of course we said, you know, leadership itself is an influence for good, right, to be that influence for good, right, so there's always that element of the, or if you want to call it, that the people factor in ministry, right, the people factor, so it's not just about how much of a revelation that I receive from God and how much of the gifting that I'm able to walk in or, you know, the empowering that I'm able to walk in and so on, it's one very important aspect, of course, but the second part of it is that, you know, all this is done that people might be edified, you know, the Lord gives revelation and anointing and everything so that we might reach out, so that we might disciple, so we might, you know, whatever realm of influence that is placed us in, that we might actually express the Christ and be Christ to others, right, so here are some principles that will enable us to relate to people, now these are some things that, you know, we have learned, but it'll help as a reminder, okay, the first thing is the lens principle, you know, we all know what a lens is, lens brings clarity, focus and different kinds of lenses and it's talking about, you know, a lens generally, whether it's in a pair of spectacles or binoculars or camera, helps us to focus, helps bring things to focus, helps things bring things to clarity and maybe it could be sometime it could be just magnifying things and so on, like in the case of a binoculars or a microscope, you know, helps us, helps things to be magnified and see things clearly, right, so the lens principle talks about how we need to see ourselves, okay, so our mental picture or the image that we have of ourselves is very important, like we might say, okay, we might think, okay, the image that I have for myself is important for myself, for me personally, very true, right, and that's what we've been learning, you know, in our wholeness and so on, so talks about how we perceive ourselves, okay, and we studied that in Christ, our identity in Christ as well, seeing that our sense of self-worth, okay, our sense of identity, we, it's very, very important and so the lens principle actually is talking about that, how do we see ourselves, okay, so do we see ourselves the way God sees us, okay, or do we see ourselves only based on our limitations, only based on, you know, what is it that we cannot do or do we have a poor sense of self-worth, a poor self-image, okay, now this self-image is, it's a very, you know, it's a puzzling thing because like in truth we might be skilled, in truth we might be gifted, but the way we see ourselves completely changes that, okay, like in truth we might be strong, and truth we might be, you know, in reality we might be able to do a lot of things, other people could see that, but if we don't see that, right, if we don't see ourselves, and that is why it's very, very important to see ourselves the way God sees us, because God sees us beyond our faults, right, our faults are not, you know, it's not hidden to him, he sees it, he knows these are our weaknesses and these are our shortcomings, limitations, but he sees beyond that and he knows that in union with him this is how, this is what we have become, more than conquerors, right, justified and sanctified and strengthened to do beyond, to go beyond our natural limitations, right, so it's very important to see that and this self-image or even a poor self-image or a healthy one is developed over time, right, based on our experiences, good, bad, and learnings and maybe successes and failures and we form an image of ourselves, right, and we say, okay, these are some things that I don't want to get into because I've had, you know, my history of failures and that, but these are things I can readily get into because I have a history of success in that and so on, okay, if you look at some of the people in the Bible, you know, David, when he was, I think classic example is when he's going to face Goliath and he's running towards him, right, and he's shouting, the battle belongs to the Lord and he's actually going towards him, right, he saw himself as someone who was victorious, he saw himself as someone representing Yahweh, right, and he is running towards battle, towards the giant, towards the problem, with that understanding, right, we look at, you know, Jabez and we see that Jabez goes to God and with that prayer and saying that, oh, that you would enlarge my, enlarge my pens and I want to be a blessing, right, his very name meant the one who causes pain, I want to cause his pain, so he wants to, you know, change that, he goes to God and asks Gideon, Gideon saw himself when he had that encounter with the angel of God, he saw himself as someone who's the least, okay, he's the least, the tribe is the least, so it was also almost as if, you know, when Arraizo man of Valar, almost as if he was turning around to see, you know, who's it, who's it, the angels addressing, because he was hidden and high and threshing grain in a wine press for the, because the enemies would come and burn everything if they see it, so and everything was in hiding and over a period of time that had, that is what has developed, that is what he perceived himself to be, I am one of the, one of the smallest of the tribes, not very significant and yeah, we are not people to, to contend with or in a sense, we are not people who, of any significance, I can contend with problems or can bring solutions, we are not that kind of a people, we are, we are, you know, this is who we are, right, so he, he identified himself with that, and that had formed his self-image, so when, when he said Arraizo man of Valar, and we read that in Judges and we see that, you know, he has a problem with that, don't you know this is who we are, so, so this perception of ourselves is definitely going to, is something that we carry in or carry forward in relating with people, right, it could be a ministry team, it could be a work, you know, a work scenario where we are a team that we're leading or, you know, if you're not a leading a team, it could be just people whom we are interacting with, right, so it's going to have a bearing, it's definitely going to, you know, something that we are carrying in, in what way, right, in what way will it, will it influence or in what way will it affect that, right, well, for one thing, if it's, if you're going to have a very poor self-image, there are two things that we could do, okay, we could react like, like Yidian did, right, and maybe when it comes to a pressure situation, right, we could draw back and say, you know, I'm not capable, okay, and despite having strength and ability, we could just draw back and say, I'm not capable, I'm not capable of this, right, so we could, we would not do certain things, we would not get into maybe new initiatives, or we would not get into those things, right, and so it will affect the way we relate to people because maybe people come with ideas, you know, people come with certain things and then, and our perception is colored by how we see who we are, right, and even when it comes to maybe just meeting and relating to people, okay, let's say we have a, we ourselves have a poor self-image, and here's another one who's, you know, who's all confident and who's just you know, very positive and losing confidence, then we meet with someone or we see certain abilities that they are capable of and we, you know, we kind of shrink, right, in their presence, you know, interactions with them, we kind of hold back, withhold, shrink, or maybe we avoid, right, because they remind you of all the negative things, so we kind of hold off, we avoid, and we don't like to be around such people, so it's a very negative scenario that we are painting, right, so if it is a poor self-image, so that could happen, or the other thing is, we try to do something in order to put that person down, okay, because of our insecurity, you know, so we feel insecure whenever we are around that person, feel that, you know, hey, this person is actually threatening me, he or she is threatening my ability or threatening my credibility, because you know, this is how I see myself and I see that that person is actually capable of much more I see, right, and because of that poor self-image and insecurity, I try to do things in the flesh, right, I try to show myself as someone who's actually capable, right, and it doesn't come from a healthy place, and it doesn't have a healthy expression, so I'm trying to do things, I'm trying to, you know, just show others, or maybe show others in the team that, hey, actually I'm actually better, I'm always better, I have solutions, I am capable, so we are trying to defend, trying to portray, trying to be, you know, trying to actually show others that we are actually this, okay, and it's a great pressure on us all the time, every time we are around maybe certain kind of people, and we are trying to be, trying to do something, and you know, we might say, okay, isn't that good, isn't that good, you're actually trying to do something and out of a comfort zone, but it doesn't come from a place, a healthy place, right, the objective is to show that I'm actually capable, while inside you're feeling that I'm not, and inside you're feeling I'm worthless, and I'm not, and I'm insecure, while all the while you're just forcing to portray something which you're not on the inside, now that's unhealthy, right, whereas if you come from a place of, a place of strength, a place of truth, where we have dealt with it, we're saying, yes, God, you know, I need to be strong, I need to be, and this is who you have made me to be, right, if by the Spirit you put to death the things of the flesh, and the Bible, you know, says in Romans 8 that we will live, if by the Spirit you put to death the things of the flesh, the flesh is, you know, constantly, maybe, you know, this is also an aspect of the flesh, which is the unrenewed mind and thinking, and unrenewed living, where the flesh is saying that, okay, this is, you've not become a new creation, you're still a product of your past, you're still, you know, rooted in your past, you're still, you know, in that change of your past experiences and so on, so it's a, you know, it's a prison, right, so if, you know, if we are living according to the flesh, then it's going to, it's going to drag us down, but if by the Spirit we put to death the things of the flesh, we put to death this image, we put to death this, you know, the fact that we have been carrying the image of the old, old Adam, the first Adam, but now we are in Christ and the last Adam, that image is what we carry, right, this is who we have become, so when we do that and when we look at ourselves through that lens, the lens of truth, right, renewed, made righteous, then it actually is a preparation to relate to people, it's a healthy way to relate to people, where we are not threatened by anybody's success, right, or anybody's failure doesn't really make us rejoice, right, oh, it's fantastic that that person, I'm better than them, now that failure just proves that I'm better than them, you know, so we're not doing any of that, right, we are, we are in a place of quiet confidence in Christ, no matter what kind of people that we are surrounded with, no matter what, because we will, we will have all kinds of people, it's not like, you know, it's going to be a very perfect ideal situation, right, even in a ministry kind of a sitting, we will have different kinds of people, different levels of maturity and, right, and journeying on that journey, so we will have different kinds of people, maybe, you know, not in the leadership team, maybe, you know, that could be a different thing, but then the ones whom we are leading might really have different kinds of people, and so we need to be in that place of Christ's confidence, right, Christ's confidence and that wholeness, so that's the first one, okay, the lens principle, okay, then now this might seem like opposite of what we share just now, lens principle, this is called the mirror principle, which means that we need to be aware of our strength, weakness, what really motivates us, what does not, we need to be aware, or self-aware, okay, how we look at a mirror, right, so when we look at a mirror, we see a reflection of ourselves, okay, and an honest reflection of ourselves, right, if a hair is out of place, we know it, okay, face is looking puffy today, okay, we know it, right, so an honest reflection of ourselves, and we must be aware, right, we cannot be having an escapist, a delusional thing about ourselves, we need to be aware, okay, so is it opposite of what we saw just now, it seems so, because, you know, in the lens principle, we are saying, okay, I need to see myself, we, God sees me, and here also, you know, we need to be aware that, hey, these are certain problem areas, okay, delusional is, where we say these are not problem areas, but if it's the truth, then we are, college, these are problem areas, but it's a work in progress, right, these are problem areas, but this has been covered by the blood of Jesus, I see that, right, so that, you know, that perception of ourselves, the way we see ourselves, we need to have a very honest look at ourselves, right, so this is what the psalmist says, right, and Psalm 139, 23 and 24 says, search me, oh God, and know my heart, try me, and know my anxieties, you know, Jesus is laying himself bare and open before God, okay, we can do that, we can trust him, there's no one else whom we can go to, to this, with this level of vulnerability, praise God, right, so we can search me, oh God, and know my heart, try me, and know my anxieties, and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting, so he's saying, Lord, you know, you don't, you know, this comes from a place of knowing that God, my Lord will not reject, right, he is, like, especially for us in this dispensation of the cross, we see that he has already paid the price, he has taken the punishment for the wrath of God was upon him, and all that, right, so he has taken every curse that we might receive the blessing of Abraham, and all that, so we, we can, with more, you know, with more revelation and understanding, we can actually declare this psalm, or pray this prayer, so Lord, search me, and know my heart, try me, and know my anxieties, and see if there's any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting, so the Lord gives us clarity, and when we, any gives us clarity, when we see ourselves, there are some things that we do not like about ourselves, and we say, okay, God, this I do not like, and definitely God does not like, right, this, this attitude of mine, or this characteristic trait of mine, I don't, and that needs to come, that needs to, you know, go through the cleansing of the Word of God, that needs to be renewed by the Word of God, that needs to be renovated by the Word of God, and the Word of God, which is the hammer, needs to break this into a thousand pieces, and just clear that out, right, we, we bring ourselves to that, right, we commit ourselves to that, right, and, and especially when it comes to our motives, our intentions, okay, so this is very helpful, then we will not live a dual life, right, what we say, what when we relate to people, what we think in our hearts, or what we, you know, know in our hearts, what we are processing on the inside, it's the one and the same, right, we are not being, you know, we're not saying something in front of people or to them, and thinking something else about them, or behind their back, right, so a very honest look at ourselves, problems for 23, keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life, okay, so being aware of our motives, okay, so our, because our decisions and our actions, whatever we are implementing comes from that, okay, so what is our motivation, what is our motivation for serving, what is our motivation for, you know, ministering in a certain way, what is our motivation for helping someone, so we align that with the truth, right, so, so that is very, very important, okay, and if we see that there is a, there is a variation, right, we see that deep inside we are not really living in alignment with, with the truth, okay, there is a change, you know, we are someone else on the inside, we are someone else on the outside, then we can change, and we need to change, right, we need to do, we don't have to wait, what are we waiting for, right, we need to make that switch, we need to make that alignment, that shift on the inside, so that what is on the outside also measures up or matches up, okay, so, so the mirror principle to be, to be really aware, and to be aware, what is it, that is, you know, you'll study more, I think in the third year when we do, when you talk about, I think skills and values is what we are going to look at in one of the semesters, so, you know, our awareness of self, I'm sure you've seen, you know, little babies, children, they are upset, right, they're not sure why they are upset, it could be, it could be hunger, it could be, it could be maybe they are sleepy, they're upset, right, and they are coming out with all kinds of cranky behavior, you know, they're just refusing to do that, and they are, you know, throwing a tantrum, and we're asking them, you know, what is it, what is wrong, what is, and they're not able to express, right, they're just crying, I don't want this, I don't want to do that, I don't want to do that, and, you know, they're throwing all kinds of tantrums, and then the thing is they are not aware, they're not aware what is going wrong, they're not aware why they are doing that, they're just, all they know is that something is, you know, something is wrong, or I don't feel right, and therefore it comes out as a tantrum, it comes out as, you know, all that behavior, as, you know, as parents that we know that, experience that, and, and the thing is this, that we as adults, we need to be aware, self-aware, you know, what is it, why am I feeling upset now, right, what is it, put a finger on that, what is it that causes me to like behave this way, why am I having this kind of a temperament now, be aware of, you know, this great strength, because when we can, then we can actually go to the root of, okay, it's because of this, it's because I didn't really process it, process this with God, it's because I actually, you know, I'm feeling a little hurt about what that person said, right, while I'm trying to convince myself, no, it's not, actually I'm feeling hurt, because of, and that's why, you know, whenever I interact with that person, when I relate to that person, I'm behaving a certain way, right, either, you know, whatever it is, so we become aware, like the, the intents of our heart are becoming clearer, right, so then we can actually address it, process that with God, take it to the Lord, like the psalm is saying, Lord, you, you know me, try me, know me in my anxieties, anxious thoughts, and lead me in the way everlasting, right, so, so the Lord eliminates that part of us, eliminates and says that this is, this is why, this is the problem, he just puts a finger, you know, this is, this is what it is, so then, then we are in a better place having, having dealt with it, having processed it, and then we are able to relate to others, right, either we make that change, we make that shift, or we ask for some time, you know, I need some time, hey, just, just give me some time, or we do some things, you know, just go for a walk, go for a, you know, just, you know, you need to do that in order to, you know, allow that change to happen, you need, I mean, different people have different ways of doing it, right, so, and we're processing with God, of course, right, but we need to do that, so this self-awareness, and it's not a new age thing, but we need to be aware and be truthful of what is happening within us, okay, so we'll, yeah, let's look at one more, okay, the thing is, the third one is the pain principle, okay, the pain principle, so we looked at the lens, we looked at the mirror, the third one is pain principle, and why are we looking at these principles, you know, so we can relate to people, it's a preparation to relate to people, okay, so this this is something that we need to understand, it's that, you know, people who are hurting hurt others, okay, so in other words, hurt people hurt people, if I'm hurt, I pass on that hurt, I could do it in different ways, I could lash out, I could be, I could go quiet, you know, but hurt people hurt people, right, and the response to a problem, it could be a small problem, maybe some small issue, but our response to it need not be in proportion to that, you know, the complexity of the problem, but it could be in proportion to the hurt that we experienced in the past, right, still the unresolved things, you know, the pain which is there, and our response will be a huge response to something that, you know, people could say something that people did, you know, some problem, some mistake, maybe, but that comes from the, with the weight of it's like, it's like a big huge, you know, avalanche of emotions, which has gathered momentum over the, you know, because it's not stopped or not dissipated, and you know, just give vent to that whole thing with all that, okay, so send in a surprise, wow, why did I do that, it was a very small thing, right, why did I react this way, why did I respond that way, right, this person is, I did not have spoken those words, it was a very small thing, because it comes with that weight of unresolved pain, okay, so also very, you know, if you look, if you look at things, you know, why are people hurting, why are people enjoying hurting others, it's because they are also hurting, deep within they are hurting, of course, you know, when we, when we look at the world, we see that, yes, it's a whole problem of sin, right, which, which not only motivates, but also kind of empowers people to act that way, right, the whole problem of sin, but also it's very important to know that when people are hurting, they will hurt, okay, and, and this is, this is true in, you know, if you're having a pet or, you know, if the pet is hurt, you know, maybe it's a pup or a dog, it's hurt, and you, you didn't realize it and you carried it, and you press that very thing that is hurting, maybe a, you know, some bone or some wound and you press that, and this normally, you know, very, very obedient, very peaceful dog, pup, just turns around and bites, right, because it's hurting, and that hurt intensity, you know, intensified, and it's just a response, right, it's just a reflex to stop that hurt and do whatever it takes to do that. So, you know, hurt people, hurt others, we need to understand that, okay, so when, if we carry these hurt, okay, we are preparing ourselves to relate to others, we carry this hurt, then it clouds our objectivity, it, it clouds, when we have pain, you know, just think about it, physical pain, if you, if you're physically pain, if you're having pain, it, that is all that we are thinking of, right, that is all our mind is processing, and it's very difficult to go beyond that. Okay, okay, we'll take a break and we'll continue with this third principle, the pain principle, right, okay.