 When I was younger, I did a ton of psychedelics. Did everything. When I was older, I did, go ahead. Well, everybody comes to it at a different place. I had that same realization that I was just a little- I did it younger and I did it as a party younger and I did it as a real thing in my 40s. Yeah, like in an effort to explore yourself, yeah. I just wanted to be in a better mood. Really, an LSD? I'm not LSD, Iwaska and mushrooms. Oh yeah, well, that's a good man. That's a good, did you have a- I could talk about Iwaska so much. So much, okay. It's nauseating at this point. I understand. Well, you know, those types of revelations I sought out when I was really young. How young? 16 is the first time I did ask. Why? What, consciously you were like, I want to grow up. I want this knowledge, yeah. Well, it wasn't I want to grow up as much as I had done so much reading. I read like crazy when I was a kid and so a lot of anecdotal stories about LSD. I read, you know, the Mary Prankster's story like Ken Keezy, the electric Kool-Aid acid test. Like I was just curious about that. And then there was a point where I wanted to do a school report on- Were you going to home school? What were you doing? I graduated from a public school in Philadelphia but I had a lot of remote education with social workers and studio teachers when I was on site. But they let me maintain a regular curriculum with my classes so that I could at least stay current. And I wrote a report about the government's unredacted experiments with LSD in the 60s. I was real curious about the fact that it's just interesting how many people come to the same conclusion about what is consciousness and what is our access to it and how do you separate yourself from all of these stimulus and all of these creative or cultural overlays of like how you are, what your parents give you in your DNA separated from like what you can be, what you can feel, what you can emote, what you can, I don't know, relate to. And I, at a period of time when I was doing a ton of theological study I was just curious like what are the unifying factors for religions? What is it that everyone's really trying to get at? It's that same place of consciousness, that stillness, the connectivity to everything. Right, and so acids seem to shortcut you into that consciousness. It makes you keenly aware of the idea that well, because it doesn't... I'm gonna object to shortcut. You did it at a party though. So you're getting hit with that. No, no, I'm saying it's the only cut. Oh, interesting. I'm saying it's not like there's much of another way to get there. To me. Meditation. Yeah, meditation, but serious meditation. Yeah, meditation, heat, hatha yoga. It's the kind of stuff that is like you breathe. I mean, it's probably what people were doing at Stonehenge is putting themselves into some kind of altered state so that they can feel the divinity of unified consciousness. Totally agree. So I put even that, those, I guess they're all shortcuts, but I don't know. So I think there's either that, there's like 10 years or an hour. Well, you know. In a good way. I don't think there's shortcuts. Here's what I say. I appreciate that, the distinction of the classification. Yeah, because it sounds like lazy or something and it's not. I definitely didn't take it like that. I come from video game culture where secret doors are secret doors where your equipment inside this treasure chest, you're gonna take it. So you don't issue your potential upgrades just because you got there quicker than somebody else does. Just because you went, you got that book. Yeah. They used to be in books. Yeah, right. So with acid, I was really curious about that. And I took it in earnest, not at like a party, but with like, here's my goal. Here is what I want to explore. Here's where I'm trying to review. And I kept notes, like I was taking my pulse, like how do I feel? I'm 30 minutes in, what do I, you know, I was really... So it sounds like maybe because of the acting, you didn't have a ton of friends. And I don't say that as like, I mean, it sounds like a young, it sounds like you had your own thing and you probably didn't, I mean, you're hanging out with adults a lot and you probably just like the kids your age weren't doing it for you or they thought you were weird or you had your own... I found a lot of my people when I moved to LA and was amongst other performers that were trying to make a living in performing. And as soon as I really committed to joining the circus, it was welcoming and accessible to me, but you have to do the fucking work. That's the point. There is no, it's that great, the meme, you know, what's the secret? And then you open up and it was like, work hard. Yeah, that's it. So disappointing. It is, but it's the truth. And when you accept that, you know what I mean? When you really accept that, hey, none of this is going to come. I think about that with the industry all the time. People think that talent is enough to drive you permanently. You have to constantly be evolving and getting better and improving and demonstrating why you're here. There is no just showing up. That may, all right, we were talking about your emotional hygiene in your relationship. So you do that, you do the acid as a kid. I didn't know, but there was a period of time where I was like hard investigating and disciplined about it to do it on the weekends. So I would work at a committed level on whatever I was doing, like very intentionally. And then on the weekends. TV shows or movies or whatever. Yeah, all kinds of stuff. And then on the weekend, in a very controlled environment, do this kind of experimentation. Okay, but you mentioned it in regards to your emotional hygiene with your wife. Yeah, well in every capacity, like, because there's things that you see under that influence that your ability to God's eye, your own, your identity, your ego, your, to like really separate from those and say, what is holding me back? What am I presenting with? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. That stuff. So I got there as a teenager and used all those tools to continue to build on that. And it's not, that wasn't like an instant. Right, that's what I'm saying. I'm almost. So I've had consistent. I'm gonna bleep it. Anytime we talk about anybody, I bleep age. And why? Because it's hilarious. Because it's disgusting how old we are. It's a crime. We're kids, don't you get it? Well, that is kind of the revelation, right? Is that everybody feels like a teenager until they die. You're like, what the fuck? But what I was gonna say, no, that's what I don't like when people are age. You see them. I remember when you were like the kid in radio days and then I see you growing up and I'm like, wait, I'm not fucking, thankfully you still, you still strike me as like a teenager. I mean that in a positive way. Do you know what I mean? Like I will never see you as what someone who's never seen you before will see you. Oh, that's interesting. I wonder. They didn't see you on the fucking can't hardly wait pose. You know what I mean? Like are you wearing a hat? You're wearing goggles. Is that you? I've definitely got the swim goggles. Okay. What I'm trying to say is, so you get some enlightenment, but then you spend 15 years dating the wrong kind of girl. Sure. Yeah, but that's a different kind of burden, right? Can you swear it? Yeah, I can. You always emulate what you've witnessed. And so there was a disposability to relationships. And then there was also this assumption that being married meant screaming at the top of your lungs at each other. Oh, right. So I come out into the dating world and I'm convinced that what I, especially when I hit LA and everybody's like, you know, you got to play games, dude. You got to like mental hijinks these women. You got to like trick these girls into thinking you don't like them. You got to treat them like shit all this time. I was like, oh, all right. Is that the way to get laid? Like, okay, I'll do my best. It took me a really long time to realize that I didn't need to do any of that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Drugs helped. It was like, why are you? The drugs that, but so this is your drug. You continue to do hallucinogenics throughout your 20s? No, no. I mean, the last time I did anything in earnest, I was like maybe 20. Okay, all right. So what I'm just sorry about after 20 people you dated. I did a ton of exploration. That was kind of the point of it. I guess what I'm saying is hard. It's hard to get everything right. 100%. I didn't do ayahuasca until just about maybe eight or nine years ago. And it was not like I was saving it, but I knew it's a very different type of exploration. So like, I've done things like DMT and mescaline and all of those other like, I mean, DMT is the shortest shortcut straight to... Did you do Bufo? Bufo? Alvarius, the toad venom one? No, I haven't done that. The toad secretion one? No, I haven't done that. If you watch blocks on Netflix, my experience is so, it was so fucking insane. I did five MEO, DMT, like Bufo, Alvarius. It's like the nuclear bomb of psychedelics. And I think I went too far. I remember you talking about that. It was so fucking crazy. It broke me for what I thought was about nine months. It turns out I just closed it like eight weeks ago. Yeah, after a year and a half, but... And what was it? Just like the trauma of the visions? I was, I know it had nothing to do with my anything on earth. It was, I went to... Well, no, I just went to what Michael Pollan described as before the Big Bang. And I don't think it's great for people to go there. What? I'm better off. If you're able to reconcile it? Yes, but there were a couple of days there where it wasn't. We weren't going to go on. So it was insane. It was insane. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah, did you like it though? You want more? Don't want to work? Would rather watch videos of me grab acid with people? First of all, go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips. This is like when the weatherman says there's a high pressure system coming in. I'm not really used to the green screen.