 in solitary confinement, in a prison smock, mourning the death of my grandfather, coming down to the list of substances. It was at that moment I knew my life needed to change. Hello everyone, I'm Joey Carpstra, opportunity to speak to you, but I've certainly been put, taking on the journey just got to disclaimer here because I'm gonna take you on a journey of my life, but my life, just warning to you, my life has explicit depictions of violence, drug abuse and serious mental health issues. So there are also many things I can't talk about, so I try to keep things general for a reason. I don't wanna incriminate anyone for my past and I won't be mentioning names of people or names of gangs. The word is incredibly dangerous to do so as you can imagine and number two, just out of respect for people's privacy of my past. I'm not trying to glorify that world, there's nothing to glorify about it. I have a lot of trauma because of my past, but this is just my story and I've chosen to be vulnerable in front of 7,000 people today. I've had to be sleeping on top of the dresser there. My brother had the cot and I'm gonna tell me a story about this dresser in the caravan. I fell off of it, it was about a few weeks old, I shouldn't have been wriggling around, but I did, I was a wriggly little baby and I fell off, hit my head and my dad had to jump through the fly screen to rush me to the hospital in a pram because they couldn't afford a car. So just giving you an idea of my humble beginnings and look at that little dumpling head and there's me as a sailor in the middle with my blue ball. And this is me and my brother. I like to tell this story because when I went vegan, become a little bit lucid and conscious, I remember this story of me and my brother on Christmas morning and my little brother was playing close to some ants and I remember being Christmas, I didn't want him to hurt the ants so I'd like to stop Josh, you're gonna squash them and that. And that speaks to the innate compassion we're all born with and the summer along the way it is conditioned out of us and not just my compassion for non-human animals but also later on conditioned to gag violence. This is me, young Joey, pretty young there and it was a broken home essentially I was around a lot of fighting, a lot of part in many ways she would always put food in the table but she had her own issues and I was around things I shouldn't have been I was essentially in a war zone having night terrors, night bears a lot from as long as I could remember just giving you a little bit of insight from where I come from. This is skateboarding Joey, this is the next phase of Joey's life with my little skateboarding shoes I was sponsored by a place called SkateFX so I skated a lot and started to smoke a bit of weed but I was in a good community there it was like it was chill there was like cool hippy vibes and skateboarding and stuff so I was safe in that environment because the environment is very important as you come to see and this is me starting to become rebellious leaving, I left school at 14 years old shaving my head, starting to use drugs and thinking I was all that in a bit and this is me and my mates this is when I started I left the skateboarding crew and started to hang around with these guys that's me down the bottom by the way and yes we are partying and don't let the baby faces fool you we were between 15 and 17 we were quite hectic, we would have incredibly violent, the violent street fights and gay crash parties and we would fire people that were 40 35, 40 years old at that age we were, there's about 20 of us all boxes and yeah, not up to no good a lot of the time so this is me learning to adapt learning to survive, getting a bit old about 18, 19 here and just trying to adapt and survive in the environment and getting older, my drug use also intensified and there I am this happened on my birthday party someone hit my brother in the face and there was about eight of them and I walked up to them by myself so I'm very defensive of my brother and had a big bar fight it was me on to the rest of them and I was throwing ashtrays and bar stools and one of them grabbed a Jack Daniels bottle from over the bar and knocked me out I got up, started drinking, went back out partying I was like, where are they? You've been knocked out for 10 minutes mate you know, but that's the type of dude I was would get a big brawl had many stitches in my head and I'd go back out and party I was committing extreme acts of violence in nightclubs and bars because of the environment and it all stems from fear like if you've been bullied when you're younger you overcompensate it when you're older you don't want to be the victim again so that's why I was I would do something very extreme and violent to someone so it's kind of like it's a message you leave me alone I was actually quite scared inside but it's the environment that shapes you so if I take someone one, two, three, four out of your environment put you in a harsh environment especially growing up that environment it's gonna shape you into the person you become you essentially have to learn to sink or swim or you sink and become a shark or get eaten by the sharks that's kind of like that out there it's pretty crazy I want to talk to you a bit about the earlier days some of the violets are witnessed so we were all going to a party I was a bit older at this stage we'd go to a party and it was people we didn't know we had someone with us we didn't know too well now I knew him a little bit but he got in an altercation with one of the older guys at this party and this older guy punched him in the face we didn't know but he had a backpack filled with knives and he ended up stabbing this older guy in the neck and in the forehead and it was horrible and my mates took Chase against the stabber and beat him up and I took Chase against the victim to try to help him but he thought I might be sort of chasing him to attack him I just take him to ecstasy tablets and they were kicking in really intensely and it was quite strong back then and up running after this guy he's really bleeding out because he's running his blood is pumping and I said to him dude I'm not going to hurt you if you don't stop running you're going to die like you're bleeding to death and he looked at me he's like no no no and I just held him and he was cold and then he just went to jelly in my arms and fell on the floor now I'm tripping out at this stage so I'm like oh my god so I'm trying to stay calm take my t-shirt off stuff it down the hole in his neck and I've got my mates partner to hold he had a flap of skin he got stabbed in the head essentially holding and I'm just talking to him do you have any kids mate just everything's going to be okay the ambulance goes to the wrong supermarket so you know if I wasn't there no one else was helping if I wasn't there he would have died I mean I come back to the party blood all over me it was pretty crazy and you know these things this was one that stuck with me but these things happened you know quite often now I want to talk to you a little bit about like what happens on the streets you can have a fight with someone and yeah there might not be retaliation but more often than not there's going to be retaliation you're going to create enemies for life that you have to constantly watch your back about and that's where the mental health issues sort of step from but I got an altercation with someone at a really rough bar and he sort of did something disrespected someone that was really close to me and I hit him with the bottle and that wasn't unusual behaviour by the way it was just another Friday Thursday night or whatever but we are wrestling on the floor and the guards came to help me and the guards knew me and they come to help me chase this guy off and we're hitting him and you know just normal sort of things he ended up coming back that next week this guy was someone and he was someone dangerous he came back that next week looking for us and he came back and he stabbed the guards nearly killed them and he was looking for me one of the guards had to have three hard operations just to save his life so just trying to give you a paint a little picture of what happens on the streets retaliation violence she'd mess with someone they could come back and murder you you know you just never know started growing up a bit more this is another gang that was involved with this we're at the highest level of gang but we were quite solid and we weren't just your normal street gang anymore we had clock rooms and things like this got a little tattooed on my stomach still got a lot of respect for these guys but this gang doesn't exist anymore at that time as well I was starting to living living with a high level respected gang member on the far left is that side and he was part of a very high level gang and they were the big boys they were the main men they were the ones you don't mess with I got a lot of respect for him I learned a lot from him and he was a really nice guy you just don't want to get in this wrong side they're the wrong people to get on the wrong side of but this is essentially I was living with for two years so I've seen a lot and talked a lot I also didn't see enough if you know what I mean drug use increased again you know using snorting drugs drinking binge drinking alcohol smoking methamphetamine getting really into it at this stage the violence around me increased getting a lot more serious so serious in fact one night I've got a flame the mate that I was living with got a phone call about 17 phone calls in a row I'm like he's asleep I've been answering this like I've never answered his phone I'd be too scared of getting beaten up but I answered it and something really bad had happened their gang were at my club they've got an altercation with some other guys and I thought no one's going to mess with these guys these are the big boys no one's going to do anything to them turns out there are people out there who would do anything to anyone like I didn't realize that at that stage and reality check they guys come back and shot up the group of my mates and one of them got shot really badly someone just took leg shots but he my friend he was a big guy about 40 years old and I really thought he was a really tough dude he is but he got shot in the stomach and rumour has it he was like hit in the head and then he got kicked on the ground and still got hooked so he actually died three times on the way to hospital they revived him he was on life support in the morning thought he was going to die I remember being out in the back this is the first time I've ever experienced stuff like this it was like wow like please don't die I was praying outside you know I went back inside and my mate he'd been through this before he'd lost friends to shootings on the streets and he tapped me on the shoulder trying to console me like you know mate you know this is it this is reality this is a reality of that world when you get out there with those guys you know people can get shot and get killed and you know that's it game over but I don't tell you about the time actually nearly did get killed and it happened because of my own belligerence and attitude and I went out one night with a weapon in my pocket had a fight at home and I was like that's it I was out there drinking taking drugs and we got to this bar and there's some other belligerent people just like us who wanted a fight too and I was like oh yeah they can't be at our bar this is our bar you know and I was like my mates I look settle down Joey settle down I'm like no no no like I thought I was a hero you know and I walked up and it's not that I had started before I just didn't avoid it like I didn't necessarily say anything too cheeky I just said something like you know I knew that was going to be on because of the way they were acting they were aggressive he punched me straight in the front teeth and then it was on a very violent altercation I won't go into specific details but there was a lot of blood it wasn't ours it was from there but they hopped in the car they got in this car they drove around and sped straight past me nearly killed me I just got out of the way okay they sped around the back of the there was two cars there was two entrances to this car park they come back through speeding through really fast now before I had time to react and I'm full of it you know a gentleman thinking I'm young I'm stupid my friends one on each side split up and just got out of the way and I had to jump up and I got hit went about roof height flipped in the air when they say your life flashes before your eyes it actually does I did in a split moment it was like choo choo choo choo like little flickering slide shows of my life and I was like in the air I'm like I went out tonight with a bad attitude and I started I got involved with the fire I could have avoided and I got what I asked for and now I'm dead that's what I felt like in the air and I instilled this principle of what you put out you get back what goes around comes around and that's why I got the karma slide up here hit the deck I got up and I was checking my body to see if anything was poking out of me you know organs things like that all I remember is red blood just pouring down my face and my friend he couldn't my friend thought I was dead he couldn't he was in shock basically rushed me to the hospital couldn't walk for a week and let's just say the guys who ran me over I didn't see him for they thought oh god we've made a mistake here but let's move along this is some of my craziest years here this is me I still got the scar on my neck from being run over split open and stuff just giving you an idea of where I come from so you know what I'm at now and why I'm the way I am and you know and in this world there's a lot of drugs drug trade collecting things like that the language that speaks in this world is fear and violence that's just the way it is people don't go off love and compassion like in the vegan world it's fear and violence and respect does go a long way but you know people will still rob you even if you show them respect and there was I was carrying guns and knives and hammers and people were having you know often you'd hear of stabbing people were being stabbed and being having their legs broken being put in boots of cars and having their house peppered with bullets this sort of stuff happened there's a lot of treachery and deception in that world gas lighting you don't know what is what who's telling what no one tells you the real story and you never really know where you stand with people there's a lot of IOD a lot of times taking a lot of drugs and fantasy and is that next to try to you know I was living it I was already traumatized and just trying to cover up the things I was doing I don't know I was had a bit of trauma from childhood and I just was pummeling the drugs into me alcohol abuse but I was around some of the most dangerous underworld figures in South Australia a lot of them are friends some of them not but these people were very dangerous you stepped a foot wrong you know you're in trouble now I heard rumours people serious people were trying to were out to get me and took those rumours seriously I would sleep with a loaded gun all the time I would set the house up with weapons to protect myself made little bottles filled with you know fuel just with a lighter just in case you know I was paranoid horrible way to live I'd be outside sometimes all night behind an open black umbrella peeking over it with a gun behind thinking people are coming to get me does insane things to your psychology living like that in the constant constant constant war zone sometimes you had problems so far like so many complex problems and filled with so much anxiety and trauma that you know you would think about suicide and you know if I'm putting a gun in my mouth and just flicking the safety off and teasing the idea of pulling the trigger suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem so I'm very grateful that I didn't pull the trigger back then and do something stupid I wouldn't have had this opportunity to change my life I'm actually really messed up here in my mind something can happen when you're taking drugs in that world become you know you don't really find complete tricks and you can have episodes I had an episode some episodes often but I ended up in detainee in the mental health ward and they drugged me up and kept me there I couldn't leave this is my grandfather here this is where my grandfather comes into the story he was dying of cancer at the time and he came to visit me in the mental health ward and he burst out in tears and started bawling his eyes out that his grandson little grandson was in that position and I felt deep shame for putting him through that he was already dying he was already terminally ill and you know I'll never forgive myself for that so also in mental health let's just give you an idea mental health facility like I did get aggressive in there someone I know so I felt disrespect to me I got aggressive so I went to go off fall guards come in hold you down tranquilise you with a needle full of some type of tranquilise and fall asleep wake up 18 hours later like what just happened they released me on anti-psychotic medication respiratory, schizophrenia anti-depressants things like this and I got straight back on the drugs didn't I I didn't have a lesson did I no not yet not yet still coming now one night I was caught driving a car drinking there was a I actually got breath breathalyzed I used my older brother's name they processed me under my older brother's name thanks I mean thank you but sorry my older brother turns out there was a gun on the back seat so when the car got impounded he got a call in the morning saying you'd be driving a car there's a gun on the back seat he's like oh so it caught me what the hell's going on so I was like okay so I called the police station said look I was driving the car wasn't my gun though and then cops started to look for me then and I was like well I'm not dealing with the cops I'm on this drug bender I'm leaving so that's me I was on the run then on the run you know the police were coming to my house raiding raiding raiding causing my mum a lot of hardship my grandfather was dying and he actually passed away while I was on the run so I wasn't really there to be supportive to my mother and the police knew he passed away they seen the funeral card there so they're like we're going to wait for Joey when he gets back for his grandfather's funeral because my suit was laid out I got there at my mum's one morning for the funeral and the police had just left and I freaked out and I grabbed my stuff and I left again so missing my grandfather's funeral was at a building site thinking helicopters were overhead and stuff it was you know love my grandfather and I wasn't there for his funeral because of this this is the actual article this is where I got a hotel room I had a bunch of weapons on me I had gun loaded gun bullets ammunition flick knives knife and dusters stolen property I was essentially needed all those weapons to defend myself there was some dangerous people around it's that type of environment you don't the reason people carry guns is because other people have guns if no one else had one you probably wouldn't need one and I was at this hotel room we're out the front of the hotel room someone locked the keys in the car the person I was with we actually went we're going to go get some more drugs I had the gun down my trousers she was trying to get into the car the cops got pulled thinking we're breaking into the car and they come to see what was going on they're like what are you doing? this is my car it's my car well you know it turns out the police searched me got away with it a little bit for a little while and then they they checked the car found out it wasn't stolen police like you can go but I just want to check you one more time so he checked me one more time and there he goes pulls out the gun that was it they take it very seriously to get caught the gun in Australia was no joke and ended up in G division in Yalla which is the punishment unit they put me in the punishment unit because it's solitary confinement and they put me in there under suicide watch it's militant it's insane in that it's you can hear prisoners very dangerous prisoners they put in here and you basically kept away from everyone and they'll do two sex cell checks a day you can't even have a fingerprint on the stainless steel in there that stainless steel in there you have to have everything clean if you scratch your nose while the guards are in there they will beat you up they don't mess around in there they'll take anything as a threat so you have to really this was like the hardest part of the prison I was mourning the death of my grandfather coming down off of all these drugs and dealing with everything that I've done it was rock bottom this was rock bottom for me I hit a couple rock bottoms but this was definitely one of the worst you literally don't even know what time it is in there you have to judge by the sun it's just long and gruelly five days later though I was released from house arrest carry out my house arrest what is house arrest? they basically put a little tag on you make sure you don't leave your house while I was on bail on bail awaiting to be sentenced for the gun hadn't learned my lesson yet not yet it's coming there I am here back into the gangs back into the drugs back into the violas that's all I knew that's all my friends knew that's what else what other how could I break my consciousness out of that right now I just couldn't I also this is me but let's go back also joined one of the after this I joined one of the most dangerous feared gangs in Australia the violas didn't leave me though at home D like I can tell you a story I got an altercation with some people who used to be my friends they come to my house and my family was there I went out the front with a tomahawk and a knife these were dangerous people and I smashed the window and had to stab him through the window of the car they were there and my family was there you know this was happening while I was on house arrest stabbed him in the leg just deterrent kind of thing like get away from up here and I was also you know got got in the middle of some problems while I was on house arrest and got held hostage at gunpoint on my birthday happy birthday very scary but that's just what that world is you know they call the police in that world they deal with it in different ways if you want to be part of that world which I definitely advise against that's how things get dealt with this is me super bad look at the size of my belly it's not there's no issue with being overweigh or larger there's no like it's fine as long as you're happy within yourself it doesn't matter but I was definitely not I was really big 40 kilograms heavier than I am now and I was depressed on medications and I just was just felt horrible I was looking for a diet to lose weight this is how I was like I've had enough I've had enough you know I don't want to feel like this anymore and I come across a fruit a vegetable juicer named Dan McDowald the life regenerator on YouTube like you wouldn't think gang members would be sitting there watching Dan and the man but I was he was wearing weeks juicing fruits and vegetables he was talking about the power of fruits and vegetables and I was like who's this? dude man like and I thought I'd try it I thought I'd try it it's a fruit and vegetable juice it's green juice so I was like I drank it and I was like oh my god this is like I was like off my head I was like this is like natural meth I was calling my mates I was going to get some of this natural meth this is amazing like it's it's our first fruit piece of fruit I'd had for like 20 years and yeah and then like basically this is where this is where I was conscious enough it's almost like I was eating this healthy diet and I was conscious enough and I was listening to him talking it was just like he rambled about all this spirituality stuff but then he said a few things that stuck with me one of them was that when you eat dead food like a piece of an animal who'd suffered you know you take on everything that animal went through before they died you know they're suffering you know they did drill and they felt before they were killed and I was like oh my god karma I remember that when I got hit by the car I caused that like nothing good could come out of me consuming this animal and suffered it was a seed right this is how far a seed can go you don't need to convert someone fully just plant a powerful seed and it will grow later on I was calling people out when I was still a meat eater in 2013 here I am saying you know I wouldn't be eating if you remember you modified pigs' carcass be honest with yourselves here until you're vegan or a vegetarian who didn't know about vegetarians and you're not an animal rights activist you're just a hypocrite I was a hypocrite calling people out so I was already an activist before I was an activist pretty crazy and the weeks before prison you know I was training getting ready for prison I was a little bit away still a bit you know not quite there yet I was partying a lot using drugs a lot causing my family crazy stress and all the way up to getting sentenced no one was actually in the courtroom on my sentencing day to support me except for one mate if you watch a mate thank you very much but eventually pushed everyone away because of my attitude because of the way I was and judge sentenced me I got after 18 months of house arrest I was sentenced to 13 months prison for the firearm I was waiting for him to let me out like on a suspended sentence but I've got a six month long parole period meaning I had to go inside for six months minimum and that's it I've got a process then getting processed pretty crazy what they do first is you go down they go straight from the courtroom straight out and they strip you down they make you you squat over a mirror they look inside your bum and you basically lose all freedom and you basically lose everything you know you have to show them everything and I had nothing inside my bum except for the obvious but some people do carry things inside of it but essentially you're not you don't belong to yourself anymore you belong to the prison system it's a pretty crazy experience first prison I went to a lot of my gang members were there I was part of it obviously a full member of a dangerous gang so that was pretty safe and then the guards they moved me on to another prison oh my god what's going to happen the thing is being in gangs is okay in prison because you've got backup but also you've got to worry about the other gangs you know but if you're just a normal prisoner you don't have to worry about that so in some ways it's a lot more dangerous but what happened to me in prison is I got sober I refused to take drugs it was ground upon in my gang and I didn't I wanted to have my head screwed on for the prison system and not do something stupid get myself stabbed so I stayed sober and I trained twice a day and this is when I become lucid conscious for the first time in 12 years I've always had some type of substance in me and I started to you know think about what I was eating a bit more and I was like eating a little bit more fruits and vegetables I still wasn't vegan still eating chicken breast I thought I needed protein however I was but I started to see like my life is just a collection of all the mistakes I've made in my past and it's led me to this point so where do I want what actions do I want to take to lead me to this next point I've never looked at my life like a lot of people make that analysis all the time I never had I was living in the moment what can I do right now like you know running for motion so there's people in there doing life it's five years, ten years 15 years of life I've got friends in there doing 30 years I have a one stupid decision they made and they're in there for life and I'm just like do I want to be in here for life like there's a lot of good people in prison that just got dealt bad handicards there's also a lot of people that you know they're in prison for a reason you know what I mean and it's just it's just not a good place to be in yeah I started to make that realisation I was training twice a day there's incredible stresses in prison I was trying to keep myself focused and get involved in any of the drama I got one fire I think and that was it the days before my release I was really worried that someone was going to deliberately start on me and you know because if you get in some altercation the guards know about it your prison time is extended to us fully anxious oh my god I'm going to get out of here I'm going to get out of here and so like I remember being just my last day another gang member from another gang it's like Joey it's time to go I'm like oh god quick about my stuff and I'm just walking the gates are opening I'm like they're not going to grab me I was so anxious six months not a long time but trust me one weekend there's too long you know every day you're worried oh what's going to happen you know it's just like some people are doing ten years horrible I couldn't imagine it but even six months was long enough see my mum and sister they picked me up as happy as they ever were here I am this is my first day out through a little jail bid that's my younger brother got a little bit of a tan from training in the sun I was home for another birthday Christmas because they put me back on Home D for two months for my parole then they released me on a normal parole and so I spent three three birthdays, Christmases and New Years on Home D and this is my court pants while I was going to court there's how much weight I lost so I was pretty happy about that that's nearly another me and I'm going to tell you how I went vegan that story of my mum here like my mum had a big part in it she didn't even try to she just did I was eating a bit of food she was doing the juices but I was still eating chicken breast I thought I needed for protein and that and I was talking to my mum because I'm sober now you know I'm like this moral king of the universe now I'm like what are you doing with smoking I was telling her like she shouldn't smoke back she just looked at me like she's put me through 12 years of hell who the hell are you to talk to me about smoking you just got out of prison dudes it's been one month that you already give me her anyway she's really nice she didn't say it like that anyway when she said there's a lot of biases people have they don't change and when she said that I reflect it I said what's it about me that I haven't changed and I was like I've always known I've been calling people hypocrite since before I was in prison for eating animals I'm a hypocrite I've always known it's hypocritical to say save the whales care for the dolphins I love the dolphins I had a dead piece of an animal on my plate so I was like you know what mum you're right there are lots of things people don't change and they should change them if they're wrong and I'm going vegan tomorrow I'm going to do my life I believe a little bit destiny was well vegan I didn't know what to do the year after so how's that for a craziness good to shut me up this is me Christmas I went vegan 1st of November 2013 this is me Christmas oh well I'm having it great for it could be worse I could be a turkey freezing in the dark age in my NPCs wedding to be knocked off and fed to one of you expletives so straight off the bat I'm still in the gangs here it's all meat eaters following me now so it was just in me to be an activist so my home D officer actually said to me when I was released off of home D for the last month in 20 months on home D 5 or 6 months in prison and then I had to serve the rest of my parole he said to me you're not coming back I know you're not coming back I've been doing this for decades and I can see it in your eyes the way you're speaking you're not coming back so he was right this is me after leaving the gangs now leaving gangs at that level it's not easy it's not like hey mate well it's not as easy as you think it can be complicated it can be a bit dangerous you know I was a bit anxious about it but you know I went and I said look it's time for me to leave another friend had left and I was like obviously it's not you know they kind of knew that my posts on Facebook had changed I said we had no idea that you were not sort of with it anymore I wouldn't have been a good gang member anymore anyway like I was just not I was past it but it was the hardest year of my life leaving the gangs and being sober by myself I no longer had anyone to protect me I had to break my ego back who was I who am I like I'm not a gang member anymore I don't have my mates where's my gun if something happens like I was riddled with trauma I always I was so concerned for my safety there was a massive war going on people I'd never get stabbed up bashed up broken limbs are shot up it was like I'm by myself I don't go to police that's not something I would do I was having incredibly bad violent nightmares I was filled with anxiety it was the hardest thing and I didn't get to use alcohol or drugs as a crutch which I desperately needed but it was hard but I'm glad I went through that hard year because staying sober was the best decision I ever made if I touched one beer it would have been all over back in 2015 I was ready to take on animal agriculture finding my feet in the world I was like who am I, who am I what am I going to do I had this fire inside of my chest and it's really bizarre I don't know how else to explain it an actual burning ember of like desire and every time I fell asleep and woke up I was like I've got to do something now like I've wasted all this time causing people hardship and you know what have I done what have I done except cause a negative impact I need to leave a positive impact I want to leave people first then I realised that the animals need my help even more so that's why I focus on them try yourself the chance to spread it because that's your purpose and it's calling out to you 2015 I was like this is a good platform to inspire people on and boy it's going to be good but you've got to do it, you've got to do it just do that first one get out of the way about this he had a video called Drunk Opinions where he was doing interviews and I was like oh I could do that and I inspired me to start the first focused street interviews called Joey vs the public you know who remembers those old school ones not many of them, three people wasn't being done on social media filming our retails having debates this is October 2015 get my phone out and I'm like why would I just have this debate with this person when the whole world can listen to it well there's like 4,000 people but methods in my magnets are madness why would I have a one on one when I could share it with thousands of people that's what I do now so all these people who would otherwise not have heard of it haven't now heard of it and that's why I'm magnifying my outreach efforts before then I started doing with the screens and the slaughterhouse footage and things like this and it all just sort of stemmed from just spontaneity basically doing it all with my little iPhone 5 this is my dad, I want to talk about my dad because he's an integral part of my activism and I'll explain why when my dad was really sick he was dying for the last 5 years of his life he was dying and we spent a lot of time together at house arrest when I was drinking and we socialised like that but when I got sober I didn't really my dad was sick and he was listening to the doctors who had Crohn's disease, they were feeding him dairy through a tube and I'm like dad they're killing you with meat and dairy and he's like Joey what do you know you're not a doctor, I've got 20 doctors telling me I'm like what am I trying to tell them about Dr. McDougal, Dr. Dubeinard I'm like dude they are killing you dad and they wouldn't listen to me, I was having fights with my brother it was horrible, I had to like distance myself now cutting parts, body parts out of him you know it was just it was horrible and so I distanced myself from my father and I regret it a lot because I got a phone call from my brother one day and he was crying and he's like you know you got to get down and your dad's not well and we went to the hospital and you know he got bad news from the doctor and he said you don't have much time and I didn't realise he meant not much time as in like very soon so I went home and I was like dad we're going to spend the whole weekend together you know it's going to be great like I love you dad so good, went home got a phone call friend, yeah mum is mum your dad's about to die, get down to the hospital so I was so good at Animal Rights Act I was spending a lot of time on YouTube I was very dedicated to spreading the message and I was like you know I went down to the hospital and he was like laying crunched over his lungs had collapsed it was a complication from you know crisis and many things in the immune system and yeah I was holding his hand and he looked me in the eyes he knew we came he was smiling he knew we were there he couldn't speak my mum and family was all around him and he faded away I watched his eyes fade away and I watched him die in front of me and it gave me this amongst other things the reality of mortality and that we're all going to die one day and what are you going to do while you're here you know after dad died we found a clip of him he has to hit him again and he's not giving up he's just not but he's going to try his hardest to stay down that's what we're all going to do every one of us just fight give up not to fight don't do that life can get hard it can be even harder advocating for animals in a world that doesn't care but no matter how hard it is for us it's always a lot harder for the non-human animals on this earth and we have to always stay strong and never give up I will always apply the words of my father about activism and I hope you will too so this is me angry about my agriculture about the non-human animals and I'm generating my anger into action productive action anger is a good emotion if you use it in a productive way this year was after I this was January 2018 set an intention to bring just an intention just put it out there right to veganism to the forefront of the mainstream media I was like okay let's do it you know call this the vegan prophecy what will happen vegan prophecy to it I didn't actually expect to happen what transpired after that there was a worldwide media search like after this video here this got 6 million views of the time it's now on 7.3 million I was rigged down to by a film documentary maker she worked for Victoria Darvish here created this little piece on the vegans vs farmers this lady here claimed she was being threatened by vegans turns out that turned out to be false but it went viral she said that it was one of her best performing short documentaries she never made she couldn't believe it got me on this show here with Jeremy Vine and I was like who's Jeremy Vine I'm from Australia mate I don't know who that is I'll debate anyone and it turns out he had 7 million listeners you know and he had a ham sandwich on the table and I was like you know that pig suffered and didn't want to die outside of the gas chamber there was so many articles they were talking about it I couldn't be so overwhelmed with articles it's just a few of them even my hometown was talking about it in Adelaide multiple railers contacted me for interviews and I was debating farmers I was editing all my own content I only had one other person with me at this station I'm going crazy at this stage like burning out pretty soon I would say but then I also got this who went with this interview this morning farmers who said they got threatened by vegans where's the evidence of these threats I don't know you know that that actually got more media it was kicking off and then every time I speak on the radio or TV it just seems to get media maybe it's the way that I speak about animal rights very direct tonight access to the UK and he's Scottish so I can get a status factor in telling Piers Morgan the Arch Nemesis anti-vegan that he's not a baby cow what is wrong with a cow being milked for milk it's unnecessary why do you need breast milk it's not milked for milk you're not a baby cow bro you're a human being I'm certainly not a baby cow bro it's not unnecessary now Dave his criminal past I've been exposing my own criminal past for the last 5-6 years dude it was nothing like special work road but like some more media that happened this is later on look a lot of that has happened I want to talk about the other media that's happened this was an interview with the Today Show and this is a Hunter here didn't particularly like this Hunter she thought it was humane to shoot deer in the heart and there was a bit more media because of those being a bit more controversy Veganville this has got a billion views each episode and it's BBC One biggest channel in the UK I think it is and it's been on BBC Three farmers didn't like it very much I thought it was too biased towards vegans but hey maybe that's for a change and this is my reunion with Jeremy Vines, still mates now or make Jezza it's crazy that like me coming from where I come from X-Gang member Rock Bottom using drugs in the world I come from end up on UK TV debating all these people I didn't even know who they were didn't think I would come this far impact has reached tens of millions just through the media alone and then I've got to go on it over 100 million views on social media always with an animal rights message always when everyone get on TV radio it's always animal rights after 2018 crazy I was feeling close to burnout and activism struggle, struggles I've been exposed a lot of criticism, a lot more people criticising my work and me highs and lows and still feeling the impact of my past if you have a crazy past just maybe look into what you're getting treated I didn't I thought if I got sober went vegan everything would be good turns out it wasn't I was diagnosed with something called complexity PTSD so when you have one instance of trauma it's easy for therapists to target but when you have multiple instances of trauma much more difficult so I was in a year worth of therapy to treat I feel like I'm about 70% better thank you to my therapist for that action you've stopped doing something egregious and cruel to the non-human animals you weren't doing something morally wrong to the animal you've stopped okay doesn't necessarily make you mother Teresa to realise and stop doing something egregious and cruel veganism is a neutral position really when you think about it this is quote Desmond Tutu if you are neutral in situations of injustice you have chosen the side of the oppressor so I believe it's a moral imperative to not just be vegan but to also be an activist can you go up and debate here's Morgan stop small to house trucks with my bare hands no utilise the skills you possess in the movement and be creative about it like don't think you have to do what anyone else does speak to your strengths and your skills and don't ever well yourself but step outside to confidence you will surprise yourself don't wait don't make this mistake and wait until you're perfect to start the perfect activist doesn't exist unless your name is open again of course and I want to say do you want the best activist advice you'll ever hear the best activist advice are you ready follow your heart and don't give a damn what anyone thinks about do nothing say nothing and be nothing okay this is a dead animal in a royal farm I'm so protective over smally they themselves if they could they are helpless beings and they need you they cannot protest they can't form coalitions and speak for themselves they need you and you and you as well and all of you so I hope my life story inspires you in some way I'm now 8 years vegan and we're at 8.5 years sober those years ago sitting in solitary confinement like a rock bottom that my life would have turned out the way it has thank you I was given a second chance basically a lot of my friends they didn't get you know I mean I would never take it for granted so no matter your life I look to this point no matter your struggles anyone can rise from the ashes and make a difference and I'll leave you with this point that I made back in 2016 there's a fire inside your heart I've done it a lot of work thank you