 Well today we're going to be looking at verses 32 through 40 and what I'll do as we begin is I'll read verse 32 through 35 as our introduction but I'm going to give to you a few things that we closed our study with last time just to refresh your memory and then we'll move on into this passage and look at it and it relates to distractions in marriage. And so beginning at verse 32, reading to verse 35, the apostle Paul writes, But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There's a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper that you may serve the Lord without distraction, that you may serve the Lord without distraction. Now Paul has been giving commands. As a matter of fact, he gave a series of commands in verses 29 through 31. Let's refresh your memory on that before we look at verse 32 through 35. Paul had been writing and he wrote to the married, and the first command he was giving that we saw there was that they are to seek the kingdom of God first and not their own self-satisfaction. He wanted to make sure that people remember that marriage is an institution that exists on earth, but it is not an institution that exists in heaven. It's a temporary arrangement. It isn't intended to be permanent. In Matthew chapter 22 verse 30, Jesus said, At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. They will be like the angels in heaven. So since it's not a permanent institution, his command was do not put your marriage before your relationship with God. You are married, but you're married in the Lord. So both you and your spouse are to serve the Lord first. That was his first command. The second command he spoke of, he spoke concerning weeping and laughing. And as we looked at that, he was saying basically this, he was saying, Live a balanced life. So don't let your marriages, don't allow your marriages, the joys and the sorrows of your marriages separate you from God. He wants us to live a balanced life. And it's always again related to our relationship with God in marriage. And so live a balanced life. Your weeping and your laughing speaks about both ends of the spectrum that you'll have in emotion and therefore do not allow marriages, the joys and sorrows of it to separate you from the Lord. And then we saw in verse 30, he spoke concerning those who purchase. In other words, when you buy something, remember it's only temporary because over concern about material things will stifle the spiritual reality of your life. And be careful about this creeping materialism because frankly with you, it is so subtle we might not even notice that we have it happening. We bought a house. My son David was nine years old. We bought a house. And I was real excited to get a house that was bigger than the first one we had. The first one we had was 900 and about 990 square feet. And we had four children, two bedrooms and a single bath. And so we got a huge house. It was 1600 square feet. To me, that was like, wow, man, look at this. I'm in a mansion, you know, for sure. Donald Trump is jealous. I'm in a huge house. So I got caught up with the house. I mean, man, I got a new house here. And one day David decided to do some pull-ups on one of the towel racks and pulled it right off the wall. And I still remember getting so upset when I walked in there and I saw the rack pulled off that wall. And I remember just telling him, you don't do that. And the Lord chastised me about that. I'll never forget that, how he said, this is a material thing. And here you are getting upset over that. This little guy is just excited. He's just being a boy. Boys do those kinds of things. Why are you getting so upset? You know, and it's easy to be overwhelmed by material things. You get a new car. And what do you do when you get the new car? It's new to you. It doesn't have to be brand new. It's new to you. And what do you do? You take up two parking spaces, you know, because you don't want anybody to dent your car, right? I mean, I understand that. You pull all the way over in a corner in the shopping center so that nobody gets near this new car because after all you get out of it and you're looking at it and you're saying, oh, I just, it's so cool. I love your car. I love you so much. And you have a little rag and you wipe off all this. And how dare those birds fly over my car and all of that, right? I mean, we have to be careful about those things because they really are things that we can be over-concerned about. He spoke about that. He spoke about using this world and not misusing it in verse 31. In other words, use the world to the full. People can speak, it speaks of people using the world to the full as if that's all there really is in life. But of course, we know that there's more than that. In Luke 9.25, we read, what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world and is himself destroyed or lost? You can gain it all and have absolutely nothing. That's why what we need is a strong walk with Jesus Christ. We know that as we were looking at those verses, and then Paul had concluded, referring to the fact that the form of this world is passing away. The form of this world is passing away. He says in verse 31, the fashion of this world, the things of this world that distract us are slowly fading away and only that which is real is going to last. So spend time seeking that which is real. And so we looked at that and I wanted to refresh your memory. And now he moves on into verses 32 through 35 because he's wanting us to keep things in proper perspective. And so at this point, we're going to look at another reason for remaining single. What he would be saying is, remaining unmarried limits distractions because in marriage there is obviously a concern for the things of this world. The husband wants to please the wife and the wife doesn't want to please her husband. And so Paul isn't writing, I should say this, Paul is not writing against marriage. He's not somebody who hated marriage. What he's writing about is the expansion of God's kingdom. He wants the kingdom of God to expand and so he knows that if you're single you have a greater opportunity to be free to go out and share the gospel. He knows that. You can go on missions trips and things of that nature and that's just a fact. And so he's not against marriage by itself in and of itself. What he is in favor of is the expansion of the kingdom of God. You've been seeing this all through 1 Corinthians. In chapter 1 verse 17 he had written, Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel. In chapter 2 verse 2 he said, I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. In chapter 6 verses 19 and 20 he said, do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit that is in you whom you have received from God? You are not your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. And so his desire is the expansion of the kingdom of God and that's really what the desire of every believer ought to be. To see God reign throughout the world. So he's speaking concerning that and that's why he begins here in verse 32 by saying, but I want you to be without care. When he says I want you to be without care that word care is anxiety. I want you to be unburdened. I don't want you filled with worry. I don't want you filled with concern. So what are you saying Paul? Paul is saying marriage produces care, anxiety and concern. There's no doubt about that. If you're married you know that's true. Being a married man, I have those concerns for my wife. I get concerned for her. I can be concerned if Marie leaves late at night to go somewhere you know and I can get concerned that she's safe, that nobody harms her. There's a concern that I have for the protection of my wife that is very real. When our church was very young and so was Marie and I, Marie started the women's ministry and she began having small groups, and on the night that she was involved she would go to the group and the group would begin at seven and she was probably at that time maybe 32 years old or so. And I can still remember I would say what time are you going to be home? And she'd say I'll be home at such and so time. But inevitably in small groups you begin to talk or begin to minister. Time begins to fly and you don't know what time it is. But me, I'm there watching the kids which is bad enough, Mr. Mom and all of that. But it's now 9.30, it's going on 10 and I'm concerned for her coming home what if the car breaks down what if she didn't put gas in the car? I have those concerns. And so it got to be so regular that if she said she was going to be home at a certain time that at that time if she wasn't home I would tell the house that she was at. And I would say hello is Marie there? And then initially the hostess would say just a moment and Marie would get the phone hello and she's all happy because she's with her girlfriends and I'd say it's 10 I'm here you're not. I'll be right there. It got to be that all that would happen is this is the truth and the hostess would call and the hostess would answer the phone and I'd say it's me and she'd say I'll tell her and then I'd say okay. The Holy Spirit had to do a work on my life he really did and he had to tell me your wife is serving me what are you doing interrupting my work in her? Yeah. I didn't like hearing that but it was true. I understand what Paul is saying marriage has distractions it carries concerns. Marriage can divide the attention between serving the Lord and carrying the one that you love your mate. Of course carrying for our mates is important it is commanded by the Lord in 1st Timothy 5.8 if anyone does not provide for his relatives especially for his immediate family he's denied the faith and an unbeliever so we are called to provide spiritually and morally and physically we are called to do that yet very often in order to keep the home happy ministry can be stifled. You know there are some husbands and there are some wives who don't like too much involvement in ministry and they can sometimes actively restrain you from growth and service I recently heard of a husband who physically blocks the door when his wife is about to leave to go to church he actually gets in the doorway to keep her from leaving and that can be a great obviously a great pain and difficulty and what happens is in order to keep the home somewhat happy ministry service can be stifled and sometimes it's even abandoned I remember meeting a man who came to the church he was selling I might have mentioned this recently to you but he was actually representing a radio station and he came to see if he could sell us some commercial time for some reason he thought that he should come and speak to us and I'll never forget how we were having a conversation and as we were speaking he said you know I used to be a pastor and I looked at him and I said really and he goes yes and I said then why I'm no longer serving as a pastor he says because my wife said it's either the ministry or it's me he says so now I sell radio time there are people who actively will separate you from service to the Lord those are distractions and so the Lord has commanded us to serve him and sometimes people will try to make you choose between them and the Lord Psalm 2710 says though my father and mother forsake me the Lord will receive me we have to make decisions concerning our walks with God and our service to him so we're to love the Lord and we're to love him with all of our heart soul strength and mind and we're to pursue him and so God has called us to serve and to sacrifice and it is a call to singleness of heart and a continuing daily pursuit of the Lord so this demand of discipleship can often be quenched in marriage the family pushes out service to the Lord and divided attention will be divided devotion you cannot serve two masters and so you have to make a choice so he's saying in verse 32 I want you to be without care he who is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord but how he may please the Lord but he who is married cares about the things of the world how she may please her husband and as I say for your own profit not that I may put a leash on you but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction and so his desire is to serve the Lord without distraction and he who is unmarried cares about the things of the Lord and he who is unmarried cares about the things of the Lord and he who is unmarried cares to serve the Lord without distraction and marriage creates distractions now in verse 36 this is an interesting scripture notice what he says if any man thinks he is behaving improperly towards his virgin if she has passed the flower of her youth and thus it must be let him do what he wishes he does not sin let them marry what are you talking about Paul I don't know let's go to verse 37 no well I wanted to just quote a commentator that I think said it clearly so let me quote one of my commentators and this is what he wrote and I think this explains it well in light of the teaching about the advantages of singleness some of the fathers in Corinth apparently had dedicated their young daughters to the Lord as permanent virgins but when the daughters became of a marriageable age many of them no doubt wanted to be married and their fathers were in a quandary should they break the vow they made for the girl it is likely that many of the girls did not have the gift of singleness and were struggling with their desire to get married and their desire to please their fathers and the Lord again the emphasis is on the option believers have in regard to marriage a partner is a Christian marriage is always permissible a father who had vowed his daughters remaining single in order to serve the Lord more devotedly was free to change his mind and allow her to marry if she were insistent after all it was a vow made for someone else and was therefore subject to that person's spiritual needs and I think that says it best I can't improve on that I actually wrote that myself pretending to quote somebody else no I think I think that that's pretty clear of what had taken place and that's what he's saying well he goes on nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart having no necessity but has power over his own will and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin does well so then he who gives her in marriage does well but he who does not give her in marriage if the daughter doesn't desire marriage don't worry about it only the daughter's unwillingness to keep the vow to remain single should change his mind if she's willing to remain unmarried and desires to serve the Lord that's a good thing and it is a good thing you know I as a father I have two daughters neither one of them wanted to remain single you know I would have liked them to have served the Lord in a capacity full time of course and had they remained single to serve him in a single capacity that would have been fairly fine with me you know not completely to be honest with you the Lord would have had to do a real work in me about that because I'm one of these men who would like to have grandchildren I enjoy grandchildren and all but should they have remained single to serve the Lord that would have been a blessing but again that's their decision what is better being married or single Paul's argument would simply be this if you remain single you're free to serve if you get married you have distractions but each one has his gift some are gifted with singleness, celibacy they have no desire to get married it's not something that they want other people have a desire to get married and so I'm raising daughters and my daughters say one of these days I'd like to have a husband like to be married and my response is well you know whatever the will of the Lord is now I might have been one of these devoted fathers who took my daughters and said Jesus they're yours and I dedicate their virginity to you for the rest of their life they're going to serve you and then one day they come and say you know what I don't have the gift of celibacy I'd like to be married I'd like to have the kids and the family and all well if I had vowed that vow to the Lord I was doing it on behalf of somebody else it wasn't my own vow I can't vow for you I can't believe for somebody else I can only believe for myself therefore I'm not bound by that vow and yet when it's very practically spoken of had they remained single they wouldn't be encumbered with a lot of the distractions and difficulties of marriage but at the same time seeing that they don't have the gift of being unmarried then they get married whatever the case may be they're supposed to be seeking the Lord themselves deciding for themselves it's not my responsibility to live for Jesus for them they have to live for Jesus themselves and that's why we as parents the best we can do is we can dedicate them to the Lord in the way that we do here meaning Lord we would love you to touch this life and to use this life for your glory you might find this interesting I don't think I mention this very often but when we have baby dedications in reality there's no special blessing to that of course what it is is I'm not just dedicating child saying Lord would you please bless this baby in reality what I'm doing is I'm praying for the family that this mother and this dad will raise this child in a home that loves Jesus Christ so if you come to third service and you hear me dedicating and you hear my prayer you'll always hear the same basic thing may this be a home that loves your word and your spirit you know that loves you Jesus so the baby is just representing a desire or a wish for that family I want that family to walk in faith so that child is raised in the faith and has a good chance of committing themselves to the Lord when they get of age when they grow to that point where they're able to recognize that they're sinners in need of salvation I want that home to be such a real there that that's a choice that they're going to naturally make because of the presence of God throughout their upbringing so that's what dedication is so when you see me dedicate when you see me holding that baby and I love holding the babies because I happen to be one of these people who enjoy them when you see me holding those babies I mean I enjoy that but I'm really praying for the family not just this child though Jesus used to hold babies and rabbis during his day would actually have children brought to him and they would be asked to pronounce a blessing on that child that's what dedication is we want God to bless this baby but in reality I'm actually praying for the whole family and so marriage produces distractions that can cause us to be caught up with the needs of somebody else to the degree that I might not serve the Lord in the full capacity that I one time had been doing and so Paul would say look at the time is short you ought to be living for Jesus Christ you ought to put the kingdom first and serve him with all of your heart now if you get married you haven't sinned it's not as if you had I'm simply saying Paul would say that those who are married have great distractions and every married person in this room would have to say a hearty amen to that yes we do because we have distractions now it's not necessarily unpleasant distractions I happen to love being married I can't speak for my wife but I like being married I like coming home to her I like being with her I enjoy all of that there are beautiful benefits to that I love it would I be more able to serve in an even more full capacity were I not married at some degree yes but again even in marriage what you learn in marriage is so practical I can bring those things to a pulpit and minister to other marriage and I can do so in a way that even young marriage may profit this morning a young couple that are newlyweds came and spoke to me and they said you know we've been coming here for a while and the young man said I asked him how did you discover our church and he said I listened to you on the radio he said and as I listened to you on the radio he says I noticed that very often you'll mention your wife or your children he said and it attracts me as a young man he said so I wanted to go some place where I knew that marriage was valued so I have come to this church because I know that you care about those things and so that there's some real practical things related to that and so Paul is not saying marriage is not a good thing he's simply saying that if you're married you do have distractions but there's no sin involved in getting married now finally moving on into verses 39 and 40 a wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives but if she kills him oh no excuse me I'm sorry I'm sorry a wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives but if her husband dies I've got liberty to be married to whom she wishes I want you to see this only in the Lord she's happier if she remains as she is according to my judgment and I think I also have the spirit of God a wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives once again Paul reiterates the permanence of marriage marriage is intended by God to be a lifelong relationship and you are intended by God to be married as long as you live that's one of the more traditional vows I wonder how many of you who are married had that vow when you were doing your vows do you promise to love and cherish and honor so long as you both shall live was a traditional phrase used for many years and continues to this day and that's basically taken out of Scripture we get married for a lifetime as long as you both shall live in Romans chapter 7 verse 2 Paul writes for the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he lives if the husband be dead or if the husband dies she's loosed from the law of her husband so Jesus made that very clear when he was teaching his disciples concerning marriage he made it clear that marriage was a lifelong relationship that had many sacrifices as a matter of fact he was making it so clear that when he was sharing these things his disciples said something that I find humorous and they very often say things if you read your Scriptures you'll note these things that are kind of funny because they're so human because Jesus was speaking concerning the permanence of marriage and in Matthew 1910 it is stated if the relationship of the man with his wife is like this it's better not to marry it's better not to marry and Jesus would have agreed yes because marriage has distractions indeed it does we have been intended by the Lord to be united together one man, one woman one lifetime and those of us who are married may remember that day that we got married I do remember that day that I got married very well and one of the things that I think was just really weighing on me heavily was the fact that it was a permanent relationship I was standing in the front because we got married at my parents house I was standing in their front yard when our guests arrived and when our guests began to arrive they would walk past me and the guys were all saying the same thing are you nervous and I wasn't I would say no, no okay they'd walk by and here comes another guy you nervous and I'd say no I got nervous I mean after all those guys after I mean I had all these guys are you nervous I began to think I think I'm supposed to be nervous I think I'm supposed to be nervous and it was a small wedding there were only a hundred people in attendance and I do remember we had set up in my parents back yard a hundred seats and I had gone to a mortuary and borrowed some seats how symbolic is that from a mortuary and we had a hundred seats set up and at a certain point the pastor who was performing my wedding his name was Noel Weiss and he was very dear to Marie and me when he was performing my wedding I asked if I could read out of Ephesians 5 passage relating to husbands loving their wives and I have heard the saying the words were swimming before his eyes I've heard that saying that's true that happened to me I mean I'm trying to read and I couldn't read because it was like the words were getting up off the Bible and jumping all over the page I was and he hit me man you're stressing out you're gonna die right here it might be better to die right now do it get out of here as fast as you can I mean as I was getting married this is true Marie knows this you wouldn't mind me saying this there were three girls who wanted me this sounds egoistic but it's true three girls I could have been going out with you know who were there sitting right in front of me and I saw them and I am telling you I'm looking at Marie and I have a beautiful bride but I was looking at Marie and I don't know I don't know she knew yeah I got him he's my but I didn't know because one thing I knew one I'm nervous because everybody told me I'm supposed to be and two this is forever see I come from a biblical background that forms the way I look at things and even at that age I knew forever this is not a trial run it doesn't work I learned some lessons I'll be better next time this is one time for all time one time for all time one woman one lifetime I believed that because Jesus taught that and so when I'm standing there looking at this beautiful radiant woman who is now to be my wife I was asking the Lord is this the right choice not because she isn't a great woman but because I didn't know whether I was good enough to be able to keep a vow like that that's how important it was to me because I knew enough Bible by that time I was only a few years old in the Lord but I knew enough Bible at that time to know that when you get married it's forever what God has joined together let not man put asunder and I knew that I knew that God had established this and so it's one woman one man that is his plan for one lifetime well what happens when a partner dies well that's what he's speaking about when the partner dies it is possible to remarry but notice once again only in the Lord only in the Lord I say this but I don't really need to repeat this but I will just in the event that one person may want to hear this or need to you're single you get married in the Lord you do not missionary date there's a phrase missionary dating well I'll go out with him and I'll win him to Jesus no you won't what they'll do if they're not sincere in Christ is they'll say very much anything you want them to say anything that you want them to say if they want you badly enough to convince you that they are this close to getting saved they are so close and I'll just keep working on me honey don't give up on me you know I'm that close and we can wear you down I have had people say to me I remember one woman in particular who approached me and said she was wanting to marry an unbeliever and I said to be married only in the Lord the Bible makes it clear 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 verses 14 and 15 do not be yoked together with unbelievers for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common what fellowship can light have with darkness what harmony is there between Christ and Belial what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever and so I said the Bible strictly forbids it in the old in the New Testament that we who are covenant people of God relationship with God through Jesus Christ are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever when you get married it is to be in the Lord and she says well what do you think the chances of this man coming to Christ are going to be well I don't want to limit God who am I to say what the chances of this person getting saved or not is I don't have that kind of knowledge that I don't know how would I know well give me a guess if you were to guess I said you want me to guess what the chances of this guy coming to Christ are she said yes I said you have less than one in a thousand she said I'll take my chances she went and got married to this guy they'll do anything sometimes to get married they're so lonely there are things that are worse than being alone one of those things is being unequally yoked because an unbeliever is going to stand between you and Jesus Christ and there are plenty of people in this church who were married as unbelievers got saved but their spouse remained unbelievers and were I to give them an opportunity to stand up and give you a word of experience I guarantee you they would say don't do it you will regret it but even though I say that people will do what they want because they think that they can circumvent God's word with their own will and in doing so they reap the consequences Paul's commandment is when you marry he said you marry in the Lord he says in verse 40 but she is happier if she remains as she is according to my judgment and I think I also have the spirit of God you're happier if you remain single because you're enabled to serve the Lord freely when you love Jesus the fact is your own family may reject you so you need to be willing to lose all the gain Christ because the demand of discipleship is following Jesus first and that kind of demand of discipleship is very often quenched in marriage the family itself can push out service to the Lord and again divided attention results in divided devotion so that's why he would say she's happier if she remains as she is she'll be happier if she remains single he says according to my judgment and I think I also have the spirit of God in this meaning I believe that this advice that I'm giving is spirit led and he's right he knows he's right and therefore he says that God's with me on this one if you're unmarried you are able to serve the Lord freely if you're unmarried you do have distractions so what do we do we try to minimize distraction by serving Jesus together that's the key in my marriage I thank God so much because in my marriage my wife set me free to serve Jesus Christ and if she had not set me free to serve Jesus I would have had to make a decision is it going to be Marie is it going to be ministry and like Adam there in the garden I would have made a similar choice I had said and I'm sure I would have I'm going to please my wife and because I would have done that I wouldn't be here right now and somebody says oh I wish you'd have done that that was not nice but God gave me a woman who fears God and because I have a woman who fears God this woman set me free to serve Jesus Christ that's how it works best in marriage