 When the narcissist knows they can't mess with you anymore Yes, that is what we are going to be talking about in This video today, and it is quite a big video It's a very important topic and it is something that I'm sure Many of you would like to know I've just been traveling around today Driving around Taiwan Not here for much longer as I mentioned in a previous video Just chilling in here and we are Going to get very deep Into this topic because I know The narcissist was messing with you for a while They were playing around with the you They were doing all of these things to you all of these things that are immoral and wicked Things that any normal person Would not approve of or accept They were doing despicable Disgusting low-down things to you And I know that That is why I decided To create this video to validate your experience To let you know what happens When they realize That they can't mess with you anymore They can't do all of these things to you. They can't play around with you They can't do that anymore So now What happens? When they realize this It's actually very different To what might normally happen in other situations Because for them to get to this point You have caught on You've realized you've figured it out What they've been doing to you You've realized and accepted that yes It is wrong It is despicable It is not right It is immoral and it's low-down It's just bad As you've realized that now But you didn't realize that before though, did you? You weren't aware of that back then and you weren't aware of it because Maybe you were a little bit naive A little bit foolish and that's understandable. I mean Normal people we don't tend to walk around Just constantly Scanning the environment For predators Normal people we don't normally do things like that, do we? No we don't So of course You were caught off guard You didn't realize what was happening What this person was doing to you You weren't aware of it at the time But if you had known I am sure That you would have been running in the opposite direction You would have done anything In your power To get away from them But you didn't do that And you didn't do that because you didn't know As I said you were naive Maybe a bit foolish Maybe you overlooked some red flags Of course we all do sometimes But we give people too many chances Of course yes I understand that That's perfectly understandable And while all this was going on And you weren't aware You didn't realize Exactly what you were dealing with The narcissist was having a field day with you They really went to town on you They were doing all of these things to you Manipulating And exploiting you Lying to you Future faking And yeah there were times when Things didn't seem Completely right You notice some things that were strange Peculiar Unusual And they noticed When you started to catch on And then they gaslighted you If you've just come in please give this video A thumbs up down below I'm seeing 77 live viewers And only 18 thumbs ups It's very important it does help the YouTube algorithm To get this very important message out there To help other survivors of narcissistic abuse But back into the message In the beginning yes you weren't unaware Certain things happened to you Certain things didn't seem right And then maybe you confronted them on it You questioned them And then they gaslighted you They got you to doubt your own memory Perception and sanity They made you feel like Your feelings, your opinions Your beliefs are wrong How you're seeing things it's incorrect You're not seeing things right You have poor judgement That's why you need them there So they can tell you what is right Because of course as they said to you They were just trying to help you They're just trying to lead you into the right direction But you you're always confused You never know what you're doing You're crazy So you need their help That's how they made you feel isn't it Every time that you started to catch on Every time that you started to question them And you wanted to know What is really going on with this person What are they really doing Because things are not adding up They're saying this But then it looks like they're going And they're doing something else But then you go to them and then they tell You know I'm not doing that I'm doing something else I'm doing this for you But it never adds up with their story With the things that they are saying to you It never makes any sense It's like a very complicated puzzle And there's pieces missing So you can't complete it You can't get it to make any sense And they like it that way Because then it prevents you From being onto them From realising what is actually going on And that's exactly how they like it It's exactly how they want it They want you to be dazed and confused To where you're thinking Maybe I'm wrong Maybe I just need to give them another chance Maybe if I just wait around a few more days A few more weeks One day they'll understand One day they'll change Things will get better And that is exactly what they want you to do They want you to just wait around Expecting things to get better Expecting things to change But things are never going to change And you should know that Because they never even accepted What they were doing wrong And what were they doing wrong Well, they were lying to you They were manipulating you Maybe they were cheating on you Stealing from you They were gaslighting you The future faking They were doing all of these things to you And they were loving every second of it It brought them pleasure To see you going through it To where they had your head spinning Around in circles You're just looking around You don't know what's going on But at the end of it you're so confused You don't even know what day it is What month it is It's like by the end of it You can't even remember your own name And that is exactly how they wanted That is exactly how they expect things to be But that is not how things are supposed to be Is it? When you're working a relationship with someone There should be a mutual understanding Yes, they should know what's going on with you But then you should know what's going on with them You should know what's going on in their minds What they're thinking about They're going to be trying to do to you Or with you How they are expecting things to pan out What are their motives Their reasons for doing certain things You should have this type of information When you are with someone You should know what is going on But you didn't know any of that when you were with them As I said, you were unaware Maybe a little bit naive, foolish You didn't fully understand their motives Their behaviors Their intentions But if you didn't know before I'm sure you'll know now You know that they were messing with you They were playing with you With your mind Playing these head games I don't know if any of you have seen that movie It's quite an old one Very powerful, impactful Influential It's called Gaslight It's about this woman and her husband And he's playing with the lights in the house He's flicking them around And the woman, she goes to her husband Asks him about the lights Have you been playing around with these lights? He says no And he says no Because he's trying to mess with her mind And that is what gaslighting is Trying to get a person to doubt Their own memory, perception and sanity And that's just a simple little thing Playing around with the lights I mean, he was doing other things as well But that alone, I mean Looking at it from the outside and observer's point of view That might not seem like such a big deal It might even sound kind of funny Just some guy playing with the lights It might seem like a joke, a prank But just that little thing is enough To make someone feel like they're losing their mind Because just imagine that Just imagine yourself in that position In a relationship with someone You should be able to trust them They're playing around with the lights And you're going to them And they're telling you They don't know what you're talking about Just imagine how sick Someone must be in the mind to do that No normal person is going to do something like that I know I would never do that to anyone Because I know that it's wrong It's not right to mess with a person's mind That is called gaslighting And that's what the narcissist was doing to you The entire time The entire time they were messing with your mind Making you believe that it's this When really it's that All the while they know exactly what is going on They know exactly what they're doing to you And they understand the effects That it's having on you as well They know that it's hurting you It's causing you distress But guess what? They don't care And they don't care because they lack effective empathy Which means that they have an inability To put themselves in another person's shoes So you may be feeling a lot of pain, distress But they're not feeling your pain And in fact what they're feeling is gratification It's bringing them pleasure and enjoyment To see you dazed and confused Not knowing what is going on Not fully understanding their motives, their intentions What they're really about And when they can keep you on edge like that They're loving it They're messing with you They're having their way with you And it's just mind-blowing It's really crazy Because no normal person is going to be thinking like that In a relationship And it was very difficult for me to understand as well Earlier on in my research I just couldn't understand it Why would you want to keep someone unaware Of your motives, your intentions I mean for me That was always the best part of the relationship When the person that I was with knew exactly How I'm thinking How I'm perceiving them And what I'm planning to do with them That was always the most gratifying part Of the relationship for me But of course, narcissists They don't think that way The most pleasurable part for them Is when you don't know what's going on Because they already know that there's nothing desirable About what they're doing They know that once you're fully aware It's just going to push you away It's going to make you want nothing to do with them Japanese alkaline-ine water Very good to balance the body's pH If you just tuned in please do give this video A thumbs up down below It helps the YouTube algorithm Against this message out there Very important Thank you But yeah, at some point you realise You've seen enough It doesn't matter what they're saying to you What they're telling you They're saying they didn't mean to do this Or they're saying they meant something else Or this just happened It was just a coincidence I wasn't aware of it You know the things they normally like to say To avoid accountability for their actions But at some point it's like It doesn't matter what they say anymore All you're seeing now is What they're showing you They can't get in your head anymore And make you see things that aren't even there And at that point They know they can't mess with you anymore They know that you're on to them You've figured out their game You know what they're really about And you're not going to tolerate that anymore You understand their motives, their intentions You understand that yes, they are deliberately Trying to harm you Trying to keep you back Trying to sabotage your progress and success Because they're very envious and jealous They can't stand it And once you come to this conclusion And you realise what they've been doing to you All the while All the while you were loyal and devoted to them You add their every beck and call Whatever they wanted from you, you were there You were the first one in line to help them But despite all of that When you figure it out And they realise that they can't mess with you anymore When they realise that They know that they have no other choice But to ghost you To cut you off and get rid of you Because they know that your presence Is no longer going to serve them anymore Once you figure them out Once you know what they're about And yet they will portray it as though They got tired of you You did all of these things wrong That is what every narcissist does At the end of a relationship Every time they always blame the victim It doesn't matter what you did for them How much you did for them None of that matters You could have given them everything you had You could have given the world to them But at the end of it They will find one thing you did wrong They will exaggerate it They can turn molehills into mountains Or they'll just make something up Spread rumours, gossip Starts media campaigns But why are they doing that? Because there is a pattern of behaviour That we do notice From victims of abuse You know when selling is a real victim And they've been abused They're not looking to attack Another person's reputation They're not looking to spread rumours or gossip They're not looking to go around and tell everyone And start these crazy smear campaigns Are they? No, they're not looking to do that at all And in fact a real victim of abuse They just want to be left alone And I'm sure many of you can relate to that By the end of it you just wanted to be left alone But Narcissus, they can't just leave you alone They have to be on you They have to do something to you To bring you down And here is the crazy part about it And this will shock a lot of you What I am about to say right now But this is the truth The reason why they go out And they do all of these crazy things It is not because of anything that you have meant to Have done to them It's not because of anything like that at all The reason why It's because They know what they've done to you Yes, they know that all of that time They were lying to you, manipulating you Maybe cheating on you, stealing from you Gaslighting, future faking, triangulating Talking about you behind your back Yes, they know what they have done They know what they are Although they do enter a stage of denial Because they want to avoid the consequences of their actions And to protect their false image But not only that but because They also have a lot of shame They are shame-based people who will do Anything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame And yet many of you look at it and you really believe That maybe you did something wrong Just look back Remember everything you did for them Remember all of the times you went out of your way for them I mean you did more than most people ever would There are not many people in this world Who would do what you did for the narcissist There are not many people who would do that But you did it for them Many of you You did more for them Than their families ever did for them You did more for them Than they ever did for themselves Than they ever did for you So why at the end of it do they turn around and blame you? When as I said, a true victim They just want to be left alone I mean if you've been abused for months or years You haven't even got the energy To think about all of these ways to punish or get revenge Gossip about another person Start a smear campaign against them You haven't got any time or energy to do that If you've been abused for months or even years You're going to want to spend that Whatever little time or energy you have left On yourself to heal and move on I mean once you've been around an abuser for long enough It just makes you feel sick to your stomach If you should ever have to re-initiate contact with them It makes you feel sick inside It disgusts you So many of us the last thing we want Is to continue any form of contact with them We're going to avoid doing that at all costs We're just going to want to get away from them But Narcissus It's like when they know they can't mess with you anymore Many of them will still hold on to you for dear life They just won't let you go Of course there is the player type of Narcissus as well Those types They will typically just ghost you and move on But I understand as well I guess that could be painful too Maybe you thought you had a relationship with them They would just use you for sex Maybe a place to stay, money, whatever it was Maybe they weren't really abusive so much They weren't really putting you down, gaslighting you But these other types of Narcissus When you are the grade A source of supply When they realise that they can't mess with you anymore What all they really realise is They can't mess with you anymore directly But they will mess with you through other people Organisations Whatever it may be A divorce through the children Child support Alimony Through smear campaigns They will use all of these other means And yes they are kind of in denial when they are doing that The denial they use as a Defence mechanism for their false character But deep down they do know the truth Yes they are fully aware of that They know exactly what they are and what they are doing What they've been doing to you And what they are continuing to do as well They know exactly who they are And they understand the effects that they are having on you But they don't care All they care about is What they are getting out of it And although yes they may have gained a lot from you in the past While they were with you When they realise they can't mess with you anymore They still just want more Because they are very greedy and selfish It's never enough They're never satisfied No matter what they do to you They just always need more They always need more from you And you may look at it like Okay so I've given you my entire life I sacrificed everything I had for you My love, my energy Everything that made me who I am My hopes and ambitions My goals and dreams Everything that I wished I could be That we could be together At some point in the future As you led me to believe And then you think So I've given up all of this I sacrifice it all And I don't get anything in return For that Or do I at the very least Get to be left in peace Can I at least just lay In the rubble In the midst of the Aftermath of the destruction That you created in my life Can I at least do that And many of you may be aware That no you can't just do that So you may just lay there In the rubble You may just play dead But a criminal always returns To the scene of the crime And when they come back They may see what looks to be Your corpse laying on the ground And they will poke at you with a stick To see if there's any life left in you And if there is They're gonna take what they can And then they're gonna be off again Which is why at times yes They will hoove against you Many of you You hold Some form of Limits Boundaries or restrictions For these narcissists These exist only in your mind It's like you're telling yourself Yes, they may have done this But they won't do that They would never do that And then some time goes by And that is exactly the very thing that they do And then it catches you off guard It leaves you in a state of shock Held these imaginary limits In your mind And I know exactly what that is like The narcissists before They did so many things to me And I thought Okay, yes, they've done all of these things But they wouldn't do that They wouldn't stoop that low Even they're not that crazy And then before you know it, that's exactly what they do They go and do the very thing that you thought they would never do And then that becomes your new normal It wasn't normal before But now it's normal to you now And it's something you just tolerate and accept Sometimes you've just got to look back At the amount of time that you have spent with them Remember what was normal At the beginning of the relationship And then how it gradually changed Throughout the devaluation Going on to the discard Notice how what was normal back then Gradually over time They begin to normalise More toxic, harmful and abusive behaviours Until it gets to a point Where you're just going through it You're an autopilot And they're doing the most disgusting things to you And by the end of it you're just sitting there taking it And you know what they're doing? This is what they're doing They're reading into you They're scanning to see What is the most hurtful thing I can say to this person What is the most hurtful thing that I can do? What's really going to break them More than anything else in this world And yet we wonder How could they stoop so low Because that is what is going on in their mind Yes, they're literally thinking What is the most hurtful thing I can say to this person What is the most hurtful thing that I can do? That's really going to get under their skin That's really going to irritate them It's really going to wind them up It's really going to break them Destroy them Crush their heart and soul Until they're on the floor Begging Screaming and crying for mercy And that is the nature of a narcissist Yes, that is exactly what they do Whatever they think will hurt you the most They will go out and do that Because they really don't care They have no empathy They can say whatever they want They can do whatever they want It's not going to affect them They're not going to care They're not going to feel what you feel They're going to know what you're feeling Because although they may lack effective empathy They do have high amounts of cognitive empathy Which means that they can read into your emotions So they know exactly what you're feeling The only difference is that unlike us I mean if you just imagine for a moment Maybe you see someone in an accident I don't know Maybe someone gets hit by a car You see someone get run down on the road Not only are you going to know What that person is feeling But if you do have effective empathy You're going to feel it As though it's happening to you You're going to have a response to it You're going to flinch You might even cover your eyes Or your ears Or look the other way Because you just can't bear to see another person in pain Especially when there's nothing that you can do about it But a narcissist You know what they're going to do They see someone about to get run down by a car They're going to be staring with their eyes wide open And they're going to be loving every second of it And you might even see that narcissistic smirk Because they're enjoying it They're getting off in it I mean some of us we may be looking But we're just trying to figure out how can we help this person But that's not how the narcissist is thinking They're enjoying it Because their brain processes very differently to ours For them, they're not feeling our pain They can read into our emotions very well Because they are predators So they know exactly what we're feeling Far more than what a normal person can read into But they're not feeling our pain And in fact, when they read into it And they know that you're upset, you're hurt Whatever negative emotion it may be They're finding pleasure in that It's making them feel better about themselves It's elevating them at your expense As crazy as that sounds That's exactly what is going on in their heads So of course, even after everything they've done to you Even when you finally catch on, you figure them out They can't mess with you anymore At least not directly They're just finding another way around it They'll get other people involved They'll target you Because they're not feeling your pain They're not in paths, they're predators And they are getting off in it They're enjoying it The effects of what they're doing to you They're seeing it, they're fully aware of it They understand it They don't care Because they're feeding from that They're getting something positive out of it Many of you don't seem to understand this But when you understand it, everything starts to make sense Now you know why they do what they do Because for me I mean, let's just look at this again From a relatively normal person's perspective As an empath I mean, of course In the past People have done things to me And I had an opportunity to get revenge To hurt them In return to what they did to me And yes, of course I'm human I've done things I'm not proud of I've hurt people But you know It only took maybe a few minutes After hurting them To where I felt so much guilt I felt so bad for my actions To where I just wanted to run to them And put my arms around them And hold them so tight Because I felt so bad This is something that I've experienced Many times throughout my life Where I've hurt someone In return to what they did to me And I couldn't let it go on Of course there were times I was with someone They said some hurtful things to me We went to sleep together Maybe at first I kind of gave them the silent treatment I went to punish them But I couldn't let it go on until the morning I had to make it right Or else I couldn't sleep So that's a normal person's perspective For a narcissist they can let it go on until the end of time Makes no difference to them Because they're not feeling your pain They're not feeling your struggle For me I just can't let anyone go through that I just can't sleep If I know that someone is in pain I have to go and try my best to relieve their suffering But as we know Narcissists aren't going to do that And in fact they will be watching you Stalking you on social media And they will be rubbing their hands With a little narcissistic smirk on their face Just hoping, anticipating They're going to see something Maybe some post that you put up Narcissistic abuse Maybe a picture with a sad face Maybe you're talking about something You're going through Maybe you've got bills to pay You're worried about how you're going to pay your rent How you're going to feed your kids You know these daily struggles That we go through in life While the narcissist When they log on and they see that They're going to be loving it They're going to be getting pleasure out of that This is just the way that they are And for a long time It was very difficult for me to understand it I thought there's just no way I thought everyone is just like me I thought we all have the same brain We all feel bad for other people But that's not how they feel for you I know they say it sometimes with their words But just look at their actions How many times Until you start to realise who they are And this is why I have to get on here every day and do this I have to put this message out there Because this is what people are going through All around the world I know it's not just me This is what I've always been about This is why I started this channel to begin with To be this person that I never had in my life No one was ever there for me No one was there when I needed them I can tell you that what brings me More pleasure than anything else in life Is to know that I am there for you And that's how it should be That's what people are supposed to be like We're meant to be there for each other And honestly that is the most beautiful thing to me in the world It really is To see when people are there for each other Unfortunately I know a lot of you may not like to hear this But I'm going to say it because You do deserve to know the truth And the truth is that the narcissist is never going to be there for you like that I do have to be quite, quite though because There are other people here And they may be trying to get some sleep But yes The narcissist They're never going to be there for you They're never going to come in And be that person that you've been waiting for Only because that was who they led you to believe that they were But they're never going to be there for you The entire time They lied to you They were manipulating you They never really cared about you They only cared about themselves You were manipulated, you were used You were lied to You were gaslit And at some point you have to cut your losses and realise But yes, that's all that there is to it You were exploited There is nothing in it for you There is no light at the end of the tunnel There is no silver lining To the cloud Not from them anyway Unless you go and you create that for yourself Because that's what you have to do I mean I had to do that in my own life I waited around for such a long time Thinking that one day All of these dreams that were fed to me One day maybe it's going to be a reality But just wait around another year Another few years Something will happen eventually You can keep doing that until your life passes you by But it's not going to make a difference It's not going to change them They're missing that effect of empathy So they're never going to be there for you They're never going to feel your pain And at some point you do just have to accept But yes, you were tricked You were duped You were deceived They led you to believe that they were this And they were not that at all They were never what they led you to believe If they were then you would have seen something by now I'm sure So yes, at some point we do just have to accept it We have to accept that yes We were victims of a narcissistic abuse But we don't have to be that for life That's why I chose to give this channel The name that I gave it Narc survivor I didn't call it Narc victim Because unlike these narcissists I don't want to label myself as a victim Even though quite honestly if I really look at it I've probably been victimised 100 times more than 99% of people in this world And even that would be an instatement Real strength To go through all of that And still come out of it And not call myself a victim Instead I call myself a survivor Because that's where I am I survived I survived it all All of the abuse All of the lies All of them is treatment And misfortune And you know I am proud to say That I survived all of that I'm not going to let it weigh me down I'm not going to carry their shame Instead I look back and I see Everything that I have overcome And then again that only made me stronger It made me more powerful And again that's how I'm able to get on here every day And empower you So they realise they can't mess with you anymore And then they try to mess with you Through other people Their enablers Their flying monkeys Whoever it is that they're dealing with Maybe even their new supply That may triangulate you Or if you're dealing with a player type of narcissist They're just going to ghost you You might never hear from them again And if that is the type of narcissist You're dealing with Count yourself lucky But at the same time I empathise with that as well You may have wanted a relationship A marriage, children You didn't get that Of course that's not right It's not fair I understand that You went to commitment You didn't get it Either way it's not right What they do It's not right at all We deserve better And we've got to give that to ourselves We've got to practice self love Self care And remind ourselves just how great we are That's why they chose us They could have chosen anyone But they chose us, why? Because they believed that we were greater Than other people So it gives them more of a high When they finally break us down They love turning a powerful Confident person Into an emotional wreck The more higher up you are The further away you have to fall Until you finally hit the ground So that should just remind you Just how great you are And why they picked you But it's getting late here I'm getting sleepy I'm sure you can tell My eyes are starting to close I've stayed on here quite long But I had to get this very important message Out there And those of you who haven't hit The thumbs up button yet Please do Help see you with your algorithm Get this message out there Other people need to hear this Other people need to be aware They need to know what is going on What the narcissist Was doing to them And what they do And they realise that they can only Get a mess with you But yeah I think it's time for me to have a shower now Get ready To sleep It's been a long day I think this is actually the latest I've done A live video I had a lot to say But yes, thank you all for watching I do appreciate you all Let me know your thoughts In the comment section I am reading your comments every day Hit that subscribe button down below as well And click the bell icon Very important Click that bell icon as well Only then will you receive notifications For my future videos If you don't hit the subscribe button And click that bell icon You might not receive the notifications So please remember to do that And if you'd like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me Preferably when I am a bit more awake You can do that on my website It's NarcSurvivor.co.uk And if you'd like to see some more of me You can go to my Instagram And follow me on there It's NarcSurvivor YouTube and Instagram I've got plenty of pictures and videos And recent travels on there So do check it out As always, I would just like to thank you all for joining me Hit that thumbs up button below If you enjoyed the video And to show your support Again, thank you all And I will talk to you in another video very soon