 The makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Mash with Alan Reed as Fasquale. Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America in offices and factories, on farms and ranches. In mines and oil fields, folks find that chewing Wrigley Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley Spearman Gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people, and they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi, because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in it. America from a nine o'clock in the morning to three o'clock in the afternoon, all the kids stay in school. That's to keep them busy, and it gives their mom enough time to buy no hat. Oh, it's wonderful, mama. The schools that I got here, till you 16, you go to public school. First is a grammar school. Then when you grow high, it's a high school. Then if you're smart, you go to college. Even if you're stupid, you're going to go to college. There they teach you French, Spanish, Latin, and a Greek. And you're going to be stupid in the four languages. But to me, mama, I've got plenty of time to go to college, because, well, I'm still stupid in a night school. But I'm trying to learn. And I'm very happy that I've got the most wonderful teaching in the world, and that she is so beautiful. Mama, when she's trying to make me learn something, it's a pleasure, because even if it's for my brain, I don't understand, my eyes appreciate that. And just the last night, when I was coming home from school, I went to my friend's. He's certainly our fortunate. Some teachers would get disgusted with some of the answers we give, but not Miss Baldy. That's true. Miss Baldy has a wonderful capacity for patience. Yeah. And also, she's a so smart and a so beautiful. What a combination. Oh, ha! Fellas, fellas, wait up. But listen to me. My heart is bumping like it chose discovered oil. Fellas, listen. I got a terrible news. The worst news you ever heard. Miss Baldy is gonna leave us. Miss Baldy has a... What? She's gonna leave us? But why? Are you sure? What happened? She told you? No, no, no. Listen, listen. I was getting my clothes out from the clothes closet. Nobody could see me. Suddenly, the principal walked in. Oh, Mr. Reuter. He begins whispering to Miss Baldy. She says, I'm sorry, Mr. Ors. My letter of resignation still stands. And he says, please reconsider Miss Baldy. Then she whispers back something I couldn't hear. Yeah, but... But it shoots. Why you couldn't hear? Because my ear only stretches nine inches away from my head. It was, and it wouldn't go no further. Yeah, but... That's the worst news in the world. I wonder why she's doing it. She won't say it, blame you. You are always yoking around and acting like a jackass. Oh, Olsen, you are always acting like a jackass, you're sorry. Ah, I'm sorry, Olsen. If I thought she was leaving an account of me, I would... Well, I would find a near-swimming pool and jump into it. What's so terrible about that? After I let the water out? But it shoots. It doesn't feel so bad. I'm sure it's not because of you, because... Maybe it could be because of me. Well, I'm always a stop to the class with my problems. No, no, Luigi. If it's anybody, it's me. No, no, it's me, all right. Yeah, but look, why are we arguing so much? What we gotta do is go see Miss Baldy and make her change her mind. I'm not going to her house first thing in the morning. And I'll go with you, Luigi. I gotta be in the stool. But that's all right. Horowitz and me, we gotta... George, you see, that's what makes Miss Baldy disgusted. Horowitz and me. There should be Horowitz and I. Oh, at a time like this, he thinks of grabber. Anyway, you two go, Luigi, and Horowitz, and talk. Talk, talk. Until you can win her, she's gotta stay. Yeah, that's all right. So we tell her how much we need her, and we're gonna tell her everything. What if it don't work? Then there's only one thing left to do. What's that? Bribery. We guarantee her an apple a day for the next ten years. Well, here's the house, Horowitz. You talk to her, huh, Horowitz? Well, I'll start, Luigi. Then she tells me to mind my own business, then it's your turn to talk. All right, all right. Oh, here, here, the disorder says, uh, manage. I'm, I'm gonna ring. I'm sorry, no rooms for rent. But we... Try me in a couple of days. I think the girl on the first floor is moving. That is unless she comes through with a rent. A rent? You mean, baby Miss Baldy? Yes. Say, who are you anyway? Permit me to introduce ourselves. My name is Horowitz, and this here is... Luigi Pasco. Mama, may you guess my name, just by looking under my face? No, not exactly. Miss Baldy is always talking about her night school class. And where's the tall, silly-looking fellow who tells her funny jokes? You mean a shirt, sir? Yeah, and a quisk at all, sir. I tell you, the way she talks about you, you'd think the class was one big family. I don't know, the way she marks the papers, we must be distant relatives. Well, anyway, if you're here to see Miss Baldy, she's not in now. Oh, she's not, huh? Well, uh, where is she? Well, right now, she's down in a professional employment agency, I told her about. You see, Luigi, the whole thing is a matter of money. You mean to Mr. Landler that you turn her out of her room because she's a nut that got the money? Oh, Lord, don't get me wrong. Miss Baldy's a fine girl, very fine, but, you know, this isn't the first time I've been delayed on my rent, and, you know... Hey, wait, what are you doing? Are you mad because I'm putting her out? No, please, it doesn't get us any wronger. But the way we find out the way we want to, come on, now, how do we know enough? Charles, did you see Luigi, dear Horowitz yet? I don't know, but I hope they get here to the class before Miss Baldy comes in. I'm dying to find out who she is. Well, fellas. It's even simpler than we thought, boys. She's resigning from teaching because she needs more money. Yeah, and if she doesn't pay her rent as soon as she's got to move out... They can't make her move by Yemeni. She is a teacher. Olsen, you can be a professor, but if the landlord don't get rent money, you've got to take your PhD and move to the YMZ. Why does the matter, Luigi? Well, it sure looks like I'm going to feel good. You know, sure, so when I'm going to find the address, I'm going to talk to Miss Baldy and we'll be living in a beautiful place. No. It was just a little apartment in the house. Plain, old. Oh, Luigi, don't take it so too hard. She's coming in now. Maybe we can talk her out of here. Good evening, class. I'll call the roll. Here? Mr. Harwitz? Here? Mr. Olsen? Mr. Schultz? Peek-a-boo. My, everybody. I made a joke. All right, Mr. Schultz, now we'll get on with our lesson. I assigned you the chapter on the duties and powers of the president. Mr. Harwitz, will you tell us some of the duties of the president? With pleasure. The president, let me see. And Mr. Harwitz, do you or don't you know? Well, I'm trying to refresh my memory. The place to refresh it is home when you're studying. I'll just give you a zero for that. Tabasco? Well, I must admit, powers are over the president? Yes, go on. Well, he appoints you the cabinet. With whose consent and approval? Huh? When the president appoints his cabinet, whose approval must he get? My friend, I don't know. All right, Mr. Tabasco, you may have a zero, too. Now, Mr. Schultz. Just call me zero. You stop mumbling, Mr. Schultz. You may tell us when the president appoints his cabinet, whose approval is necessary. Uh... The senate. The senate. Mr. Schultz, tell us some more powers of the president. Commander-in-chief. His commander-in-chief. Executive powers. He's got all executive powers. He signs the bills. He pays all gas on the electric bill. Oh, zero. And Mr. Olsen, for whispering those answers to Mr. Schultz, you may have a zero, too. Mishpoly, you're giving Olsen a zero. That's like putting a dance clap on Einstein. Please be quiet, Mr. Schultz. Olsen, you amazed me. Why did you do that? Well... I wanted everyone to... to make a good impression on you today. Today? Why today? Because... Well... Because you... Because here's the one that you should stay in the school and not to design. Oh, so you know about my resignation. Yeah, and I don't worry about that answer, Miss Spaulding, because... Because we wasn't spoke to your land of honor... I see, gentlemen. Don't you think you might possibly have acted a little out of turn prying into my personal affair? Miss Spaulding, it was only because... Please remember this for the future. My private life is my own. No matter how many liberties I seem to allow in my class, if I choose to resign from my teaching position, I shall resign. You may go now, class. I said class is dismissed. We don't want to go. We want to stay here with you. You're... that's right. Please... Please, Miss Spaulding, don't resign. Everything I'm learned about America, well, I'm a learner from you. All the ideas that I've got... Well, you helped me to get there. He's right. Very well. Since you all intend to remain here, I'll go. Good night, gentlemen. School will never be the same after she goes. Sure. I wonder who can take her place. Nobody. I hope there isn't that crabby old Mr. Hein. Maybe when he's a look on his a salary, that's to make him a crabby. Ah, stop. If Miss Spaulding leaves, there's only one thing left for us to do. What's that? Play hooky from school for the next 25 years. It's the fact that Wrigley Spearman chewing gum is really a two-way treat. It's a taste treat with lots of delicious, long-lasting flavor, and it's a chewing treat. Something good that you can chew on for as long as you want. What's more, this pleasant chewing aids digestion and helps keep your teeth bright and clean. So it's especially helpful right after a meal. Enjoy healthful, delicious Wrigley Spearman chewing gum often. And always have some in your home for your family to enjoy. Wrigley's Spearman costs so little. Tastes so good, lasts so long. Now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in it. Mommy, I've got a bad news for you. You know that the wonderful teacher, I'm always right about Miss Spaulding. Well, it looks like she's really going to stop teaching. I'll never forget the mommy. The first time I walked into her room, that was two years ago. And she said, are you Luigi Basco? Mommy, the way the sweet American girl is a pronounce Luigi Basco. I felt like my name was just a guy as a citizenship of purpose. Then I remember first the year. She's teaching me so much about America. I'm going to learn about Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, Paul Revere, and all the other great Americans. Also, she's teaching me the biggest American rule. You must never say ain't. Oh, I'm all so much into this girl, mommy. Last Christmas, I'm going to give her a little box of handkerchiefs. Then a couple of weeks later, she's got a cold. And when her shoes are used to my handkerchiefs to sneeze in, I was the proudest fellow in the Chicago. But anyway, I'm sitting here wondering what to do. When it is to come to somebody, and I know he's a no-got to the answer. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Hello, Pascuali. What's the matter for you? Hello, Pascuali. What's the matter, little banana nose? Outside is a spring. The sun is shining. Birds are flying around like a B-29. The air is as sweet as a perfume. And if you live another six weeks, June is going to be busting out the right of your little cabbage-a-puss. That's the matter, Luigi. You sick or something? No, no, Pascuali. It's just that something is out of my head. Oh, it's about a guy, Luigi. Yeah, but how do you know? Oh, I know. I can read people's minds. I'm a philanthropist. You would have liked to do something for this little girl, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, Pascuali. I would like to... I'd like to do something but what can I do to help her? Rosa, don't ask her for much. You're just a marier. Pascuali, it was not the Rosa I'ma think about. What? How are you like that? She's a committed bigamy on my little girl before even a marriage. Pascuali, I'ma think about the Miss Spaulding. Luigi, that's the sneakiest thing you could do. Marry a new teacher just to get a higher marks. You know, stop it, Pascuali. There's nothing like it. That is just a... just a well... Miss Spaulding. She's a... She's going to stop her coming into the school. That's a no sound all right, Luigi. In America, the Pouples is a play hook. You're not the teacher. Oh, Pascuali, stop it, stop it. You're making a fun of her from something that's... that is a very serious thing. It's a hard for Miss Spaulding to get along on her Saturday so she's going to find another job. That's not a bad idea. Lots of teachers, they get a part-time job as a tutor. In the daytime, they teach, in the nighttime, they toot. But if she's a no going to toot, she's going to give her resignation to the principal and if she's a no, come back. Oh, that's a good... that's a free. Yeah. Well, Luigi, sometimes the things that turn out are for the good. Yeah, but the... Sure! My daughter Rosa, going to be your teacher. Miss Spaulding ain't the only one that knows the world is around. A two and two is a four and a link can discover Nebraska. No, please, please, Pascuali. I'm... I'm... I'm going to feel a bad day. Then why not, Luigi? My little girl, she's got a high school diploma. She's going to teach you arithmetic and geography and history and all the time you can be sitting and holding her hands and we're doing the movies. No, no, no, Pascuali. No, no, no, Pascuali, no Pascuali. Best thing for you, Luigi, would be to stop the schooler for good, give you a tired brain and rest. You think it's healthy to take things out of books and stuff them in that little head? Someday you're going to be standing in the sun and poof, you're going to explode, just like that. Hey, hey Pascuali, I'm... I'm a good idea. I'm going to go right now to board education and to make them understand that they got to give a Miss Balding a raise. Ah, now you're talking a sense and I'm going to give you good arguments. Just tell them that with the high prices she's enough to afford to buy chalk so she's got a ride on the blackboard with a burnt mattress. Yeah, but a Pascuali... Shut up your face, I ain't a finisher yet. Also, you tell them she can't afford the school books for the last two weeks she's been teaching you with the telephoto books. Then you've got to... No, no, no, no, goodbye, Pascuali. I'm not going to the board education. Miss Balding is... He's got to stay my future. Why does this world are coming to? People are fighting so they can go to school. Excuse me, sir. Yeah? This is a board education building, isn't it? Yes, it is. Who is it you're looking for? Tell her who's the hand out the raises to the teachers. Raises to teachers? Yeah, you know, you know, more money. Oh, you must be on some committee that's trying to raise teachers' salaries. That's right. I'm with the Hall of Committee and we're trying to raise it just to one at each. I'm afraid I can't help you very much. All right, then. Another please. Remember, you know, who's in charge of it to teach you the money? Well, Mr. Winters is the head of our school board. He's right up the hall in Room 107, but I don't think he'll see you. Oh, here's a... Is he not going to see me? No. Why? He's got a bad eye, isn't he? No, he's... It's just that he's busy. Is he busy, Wally? He's not going to be so busy when he's found out that his best teachers are going to live in him. No, please, not so loud. Maybe you could come back Monday morning. No, no, Monday's not good. She's got to have the money right away because you want her to turn out to not have the money to... What's going on? Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Winters. This gentleman insists on seeing you. About what? About the... About the Mrs. Spaulding's raise. Mrs. Spaulding? Who is she? The boss. He don't know who's working for him. Well, we can't stand here in the hallway. Come in, Mr.... Basko, Luigi Basko. No, then. Just what's on your mind, Mr. Basko? He's about the Mrs. Spaulding. She's a teacher and he unites the school. And you ever complain? You don't pay enough for money. What? I mean, she's not got enough to pay to rent or buy whatever she's in need of. She's going to quit at the school and then, well, she's going to join the employment agency. Well, this is all very interesting, Mr. Basko, but what do you expect me to do about it? I'm only out of the board. Well, please, Mr. Haddard, please, just to give a little raise. Maybe $10, $15. That's impossible, Mr. Basko. Her salary is fixed. Salary? Fixed? Of course. Your instructor's salary is defined in the city salary schedule for teachers. On the basis of the money we have to go around. Money? Well, who's decided how much money must go around for the teachers? The board of education. Well, who's the head of board of education? I am. Oh, that's good. I'm going to tell him he's spoiling you. She's got the raises starting tonight. Please, sit down, Mr. Basko. Look, I don't decide what money is to be allotted for teaching. No, then who's decided? Well, indirectly, the people. You see, teachers' salaries come out of local taxes. If we wanted to raise their salaries, we would first have to raise taxes in order to get the money. Well, all right, I'm awake. Go ahead, the raises are taxes. It's not that simple, Mr. Basko. We are at our tax limit right now. Do you understand what I'm talking about? Sure. I'm understanding. Good. Now, do you have any further questions? Yes. You think you can give him a spoiling a raise? Good day, Mr. Basko. Hello, friends. What do you all do not say to my story? Pascuali told us you went to the board of education. Luigi, what happened? Well, there wasn't no use to classmates. The board that had the says only way a spoiling can get the raises if we tax the locals is to run on a schedule of salary and all sorts of schedules and it's impossible because the whole thing is a fix. Oh, Luigi, are you for shimmers? What's the difference? The answer is no. You're too bad that it looks hopeless now. Yeah, but there's... No, no, I'm... It's not hopeless. I've got another idea. Yeah, maybe it's crazy, but I must say we should try it. What is it? Well, I'm going to tell you, but please don't laugh, because if it doesn't work out, it's... Oh, you're going to laugh because you're going to think I'm a crazy. No, tell us, Luigi. Even if it don't work out, we can always bleed insanity. Well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I hope it works. The baby's been running around like ebobies. Divas, I'm gibushed. Shh, shh, shh. She's coming in now. Good evening, class. Good evening. Gentlemen, since I dismissed you early last night, we have a lot of ground to make up. Oh, and incidentally, I'd like to apologize for my behavior last night. There was no way for a teacher to act. That's not true. A teacher's only human. She's not made from stone. Yeah, sure. I'd sit at the place of Miss Pauline. Just...just to tell us who you changed your mind about delivering a score. No, Mr. Basko. In class, I will not have any more discussion on that subject. We will open our books now, and we... Excuse me, Miss Pauline. Why, Mr. Wilson? That's a hellendler. Yeah, yeah. Miss Pauline, some letters came in a little while ago for you. One special delivery and the other registered, so I thought I'd better rush them to you. Well, thank you very much. Oh, I'm glad to do it. I wonder what they can be. Himmel read it. I can't stand of the spin. Thank you, class. I'll just take a moment. Miss Pauline, I'm writing this letter for a whole class that we don't want you to leave at a school. Since the teacher's the money, as it comes from a tax, this is going to take too long until you get a raise. We want to decide to make a private tax on ourselves right now. Every week, all of us should see the meet. Ship and a five dollars a piece. That's a twenty dollars all together. And we're going to mail you the money. And the closer you find you, first the week's a raise, signed it. Half-show. Nathan Horowitz. Yeah, they called, son. And I'll read your basket. Class, you're crazy. Crazy like this we should always be. I'm a spottinger. What's the register letter? It's from the Board of Education. Mama, may they accept the letter of resignation? Kenneth F. Winter's Board of Education my dear Miss Faulding, one of your students, Mr. Luigi Basko, has just come to visit. Oh, no, no, no. I'm a medium of trouble, Miss Faulding. I'll read the rest of this to myself, class. It is not easy to take a group of foreign-born students and educate them to absorb completely our American customs, institutions, and ideals. If Mr. Basko is an example of your efforts, then the city of Chicago needs your type of teaching very badly. I, for one, hope that you will rescind your letter of resignation. As for the money situation, let us hope that citizens' groups will, in the near future, put pressure on our legislature to increase teachers' salaries. You all deserve it. Sincerely, Kenneth F. Winter's. I'm a spottinger. What did he say? Did you accept your resignation? Class, I don't know. Miss Faulding, please say you're going to accept our tax every week. No, class, that's impossible. But we won't miss it, Miss Faulding. And remember, next year, if we like you, we're going to give you another raise. No, class, but you're wonderful. Miss Faulding, I... I can wait another month. And if the landlord don't, we're going to build your tent. You can sleep in the bar. Yeah, that's a fact. Miss Faulding, are you going to stay? We'd better get on with our work. I don't want to have a bunch of dumbbells in my class next year. Miss Faulding has decided to keep on teaching us, which is to make everybody very happy. Come on, Miss, is it too bad of teachers that don't want to get them more money? Because they deserve it. If I wasn't a judge, I would have given every teacher bigger days in a pay. Every summer off with the pay. And every time she's a keeper, kid enough to school, I'm going to pay her doubler for the overtime. You're lovin' a son, Luigi Bascogli, immigrant. Folks, the makers of Wrigley's Fairman Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they'd like to remind you that Wrigley's Spearmint Gum not only tastes good, but is also good for you. For instance, chewing a stick of Wrigley's Spearmint after a meal aids the gestion and helps keep the teeth bright and clean. At the same time, it freshens your taste and pops off the meal to perfection. So, after meals and between meals, enjoy chewing delicious Wrigley's Spearmint Gum. Get a few packages next time you go to the store and always keep some handy. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum will try to listen next week at this time when Luigi Bascogli writes another letter to his mama Bascogli in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Norman MacDonald. Mac Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Masch is starred as Luigi Bascogli with Alan Reed as the squally, Hans Connery the Schultz, Mary Schiff as Miss Balding, Joe Forte as Horowitz and Ken Peters as old. Music is under the direction of Lod Gruskin. Bob Stephenson speaking. This is CBS Columbia, Casting System.