 So you want to be on his mind you want him to think about you at least as much as you do of him if not even more you want to be appreciated and cherished and That is what I'm going to be talking about how to do that today My name is Matthew coast and welcome to commitment connection If you're really serious about getting into a relationship where you're loved and seen and cherished Make sure that you go to the forever woman formula calm there should be a link above or below this video if You are watching this on one of our social media networks So how do you get a guy to think about you all the time? How do you create a connection that makes a guy think about you non-stop? I've got three steps to doing this today. I think that you are going to absolutely love this and so Let's start with a question here What's the difference between a movie that you never want to see again a movie? That's okay But nothing to tell your friends about and a movie that is so amazing that you watch it Multiple times and you tell all of your friends about it The best movies are movies that trigger Multiple types of emotions in you Those are the movies that you you go out and watch all the time that that you remember that you tell your friends about that you Get your friends to come and watch with you Maybe you quote the movie over and over again. They make you They it's not just one emotion, but it's an entire range of emotions. You you laugh you cry You feel anticipation Anger fear surprise, right? It takes you through a range of different emotions And that is what I call the emotional range principle So step one is creating the emotional range principle by the way if you're here watching us right now Make sure that you say hi and tell us where you're from in the chat We love to see all these women from all over the world watching these live streams It's really really awesome. So just go ahead and type in where you're at in the chat So think of the movie the godfather, right? It's it's a movie that is just legendary and it goes through all these kinds of different emotions with Anticipation and fear and excitement Just you know, there's humor and there's all kinds of different things in it Just it triggers all these different emotions in you and that's think of yourself as that right think of helping a guy Connect to you through different types of emotions and that is what makes you stand out because for the most part most guys They go on dates with most women and it's really really boring for a number of different reasons And so what you want to do is you want to stand out by connecting with him And and when you're in the first kind of initial dating phases You don't need to make him feel a ton of different emotions or really deep emotions or make it really serious Or any of that kind of stuff what you want to do Especially with the first date if you go on the first date or the first few dates What you want is playfulness right love is not serious love is playful and fun And so you want to start off with playfulness and fun And then eventually go into some deeper types of emotions as you spend more and more time together so Be the godfather to him obviously not literally of course, but be a bunch of different emotions So how do you kind of trigger different emotions? There's a few different ways to do it the fastest and easiest way is to ask him different questions that spark Emotion right have him remember a time when he did something by just asking him like hey Is there anything that you're really scared of is there anything that you're really that really makes you laugh that really is A lot of fun to you and and if you ask him about those things and then get curious about it and have him talk about it He'll relive those moments in his mind And he'll start to experience those emotions right there while he's sitting with you That's one of the easiest ways to do it another easy way to do it is To have Experiences that you guys go through where you experience different types of emotions and it could be as easy as Watching movies together, although that's super super passive, but also potentially going to kinds of different kinds of events together or just different things together and Experiencing emotions through that another one is learning something together You can learn a lot about somebody when you learn something together and they have to Overcome the difficulty of not knowing how to do something you can really learn a lot about a person So the second thing that's number one is the emotional range principle You want him to experience a lot of different emotions around you because the more emotions that he experiences around you and the more He kind of gets caught in those and experiences those the more He's going to remember you and the more you're going to stand out and the more he's going to think about you The next one is very important. Here's a question that I want to pose to you about this What happens when you eat your favorite food? every single day It stops being special that's what the answer is it stops being special there's a phrase out there that goes Familiarity breeds contempt and all this really means is that the more that you are Around something the more that it's in front of you the more you experience it the less you appreciate it So let's take chocolate for instance if you love chocolate, but you eat it every single day It'll eventually get boring and it won't be special anymore and you will stop Appreciating chocolate and so what do you want to do you want to eat chocolate less? So maybe eat it once a week or maybe it eat it once every two weeks and then when you experience chocolate It'll be this thing that you're looking forward to it'll be this thing that you you think about all week You're like oh my god I can't wait until I eat this chocolate right and then you go and you eat it and it's a savory experience and you're like All week I've thought about eating this chocolate and it's just so wonderful that I finally have it Right in front of me, and so let's stop talking about chocolate. It's making me hungry Let's talk about how to use this in the real world because this is normal behavior. This is normal We all do this So in the real world, this is called the scarcity principle Number one is the emotional range principle number two is the scarcity principle I talk about all of these in my program the forever woman If you haven't gotten that you can go get it for free at the forever woman formula comm I seriously suggest you go do that. It's my system for how to do this stuff and so The scarcity principle will basically what you want to do is create space And so you don't want to be in front of him all the time You want to create some distance because that's when he starts missing you That's when he has a chance to be thinking about you and his Desire and his love will grow for you when you're not there You'll be thinking about what's she doing right like you'll have all these emotions that are going on that he Experienced when he's with you going through him later, and he'll be like oh my god I can't just like the chocolate. I can't wait to see her again And so you don't want to be texting him all the time You don't want to be in front of him all the time you want to give him some space you want to have an air of mystery about you and what you're doing and The best way to do that is to create scarcity and Number three is something called Unpredictability I was supposed to say the question first. Let's go with the question real quick So why do people become addicted and obsessed with gambling? It's because of Unpredictability the one that I I told you about before I was supposed to anyway So sometimes they win right so when you go in you do gambling you gamble I'm not a gambler, but if you go and gamble sometimes you win sometimes you lose Sometimes you don't really know whether you're gonna win or you're gonna lose or when you're gonna win or when you're gonna lose And you're making money, and it's awesome And then you lose it's odd you go through this kind of roller coaster of emotions because it's unpredictable And you don't know what you're gonna get and now I just want to kind of throw this out there right because this this creates addiction right Unpredictability creates addiction. You don't want to be too Unpredictable because if you're too unpredictable, he's gonna think you're completely insane He's gonna think you're crazy, and he's not gonna want to deal with you because he's gonna be like this is Way too much way too much for me So there's there's different kind of levels that you can do this with and my suggestion is that you start small With all of these things and build your way up as you figure out how to use them and what makes sense so that you're not Jumping off a cliff with Unpredictability and driving guys out of your life because they think you're completely insane and so how do you use? unpredictability So when you're texting and we just talked about scarcity and texting so you don't want to be texting him Every single day right you don't want to text him. Good morning and good night every single day If you do text him good morning and good night, you should do it Randomly randomly throughout the week if if this is something that you do Actually do which is text him good morning and good night what you should do is just different times different days right different days and not and don't have a pattern to it and just do it in an unpredictable way and if you're Texting when you are texting You can text back Immediately sometimes maybe sometimes you you wait a little bit to text back Maybe you if it's later at night you wait until the next day to text back and and and so just have fun with it Just play with it, you know, don't make it serious Don't try to turn this into a game when you're trying to like, you know Get something from him or try to make him do something through it Just have fun with it Just make it a part of of who you are and what you're doing and just just just have fun and and don't take it too Seriously, because like I said Just a new tongue today love is playful and fun. It's not serious and so My suggestion is don't wait days, right? Like sometimes I'll hear women They're like well, you said scarcity so I waited three days to text them back Don't wait three days to text them back. Don't wait seven days to text them back. Sometimes I get women They're like, well, I don't know I text them and he didn't respond I'm like, well, when did he text you and you're like, oh, well seven days ago and it's like It's like slap face slap hand slap Face slap. I don't know how to say that. Anyway Words are not always my best things So sometimes you text back immediately. Sometimes you wait an hour or two Sometimes it's the next day if it's getting late and just have fun with it And so that's it. The three are Emotional range principle the scarcity principle and Unpredictability and if you combine these three together You will become somebody that he obsessively thinks about and he will eventually think about you all the time And it will be really exciting for him to think about you and he'll want to be around you He'll want to be with you And it's a really great way to do things if you this is human behavior. This is human psychology Right here. This is human biology. We all do this, right? If a guy does this with you You will feel this exact same way with him. And so That is what face slap Zenny says face slap. Okay, so next I'm going to Do question and answer. So if you have any questions about anything Please leave them in the chat and we can talk about all of these things If you have any questions about the things that I've just talked about Or if you have questions about your situation Or if you have questions about anything that you want to talk about feel free to put them in the chat And I will go down and I will answer All the questions that we have so Again, if you if you've watched this video and you think you're thinking to yourself right now Man, this Matt coast guy has some really good ideas and I've heard that his stuff really works really well. And so Maybe I should get deeper into what it is that he's talking about my suggestion Is that you go to the foreverwomanformula.com and pick up my program there for free You can join our community and it's a really cool awesome program So Hello, hello, hello everybody. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here with us Alice says already in a relationship. However, he has passed A past of cheating on me Any advice normal circumstances obviously ditch him, but we recently had a doctor well, one of the things and One of the things that you have to think about Alice is that people have patterns and so What you're saying to me is that this guy that you are with has a past and a pattern of cheating Now I would never condone such behavior Cheating is dishonest. It's disloyal It's Very low Bar type of behavior that both men and women engage in in relationships And so you're in a situation where you have a daughter And you have to think about your daughter and you have to think about yourself And if you're saying to yourself, I Don't care that he's cheated on me I am going to stay with this man You have to realize that there's a really high probability chance That he's going to cheat on you again Because you are kind of enabling it by staying with him and saying, hey, you've cheated on me in the past and I'm going to overlook that and I'm going to forgive it. It is possible that he could change It's possible I've seen it happen. I know people that have done it guys that were cheaters who Now at least to me that they swear that they would never ever do that again And that they haven't ever done that again in the relationship that they're in because they have grown out of That kind of a phase that they were in of cheating and wanting to go around and cheat and being a player or whatever it is That they were when they were younger And so it is possible that he could Change however If he does cheat, I would say that that wouldn't be very surprising and so you have to think about it in terms of How is this going to impact you and your mental Being your mental well-being your emotional well-being your life how you feel about yourself how you feel about Him how you feel about men how you feel about your daughter How you're going to be passing on information to your daughter about relationships and about men and what's acceptable in a relationship with a man and how a man Is allowed to treat you or women or your daughter in the future and So I you know, I I do believe in potentially giving people second chances especially if There's a very complicated situation That it is important to give somebody a second chance and it's it's a difficult situation Which it sounds like you are in one of those kinds of situations So I don't know how many times he's cheated you say he has a past of cheating. Is that one time? Is that multiple times? I mean, obviously you're in a situation now where You know, maybe you Probably should have gotten out of the situation earlier, but you didn't and now you have a daughter together and You have somebody that's very important to you in your life Who's your daughter and you're in a situation where it's like, okay? Well, what do I do now? Like how do I? How do I kind of navigate this world with a daughter and wanting to have her father in the picture? I don't know if he you know, maybe in all other senses he's a really awesome guy and you want him in the picture because of that and You want him to be there and all that kind of stuff and so yeah, I mean it's a really difficult situation and really you have to kind of look at it from All the things that I just talked about and decide whether this is something that You want to continue and whether it's going to be healthy emotionally and mentally and spiritually for yourself and your daughter and If it is what you want to do is hopefully get him some help with his issues which I mean, obviously you don't want to make it look like he is a bad person or he's Like there's something wrong with him necessarily, but if he does have a past of cheating and He doesn't feel like he can change or he doesn't feel like he can fix it which sometimes People have issues like that where they just are like this is who I am It's a part of my identity and I'm a cheater and so that's what I do and I can say this as much as I want to But deep inside I know that I'm going to go and cheat again Then he's going to have to get some help. He's going to have to get some legitimate help and So there's a lot going on there and I'd have to kind of know more about the situation to know what kind of help You really need it's not something that you can necessarily fix Just by saying the right thing or just doing something in this Relationship because it's a choice that he makes And the question is whether he's addicted to that choice and whether he's become a victim and a slave to that choice or whether he is taking ownership of that choice or not and so It's hard to know from That one sentence in question that you have however. I wish you the best of luck So Liz says I need a handyman instead love haha from island. Okay I don't know you need a handyman, huh? I don't know. I don't know what that means Sissy's here. Good to see you So m dot says he is in Iceland and it makes me so freaking hot for him So he is so outdoorsy. I like him so much Well, that's sweet So grace says hi matt from Santa Monica driving at a red light I want to say thank you for your youtube's your hair looks good growing longer on top. Okay. Well, thank you Glad that you stopped at a red light just to Text and comment hi We have some dedicated followers here of the channel. So thank you for being so dedicated to the channel M dot said I did the abundance thing. I do not think that I liked the abundance I felt like a cheater. Well, if you're not It depends on the situation you're in right like if you're in an exclusive relationship It might not be best to Do abundance from the standpoint of dating other guys Unless you're not in an exclusive relationship And then that is the best thing to do And if you felt like a cheater, you know, you might What it probably says is that you're really really hooked on that guy And you need to do some things not only necessarily from the standpoint of getting And dating more men so that you feel that abundance But also from creating kind of abundance of connection, right? So what we're really talking about here is not only having an abundance of options But we're also talking about having an abundance of connection So that you're not your only connection isn't with this guy So it's like oh this connection gets shut off All of a sudden it's like devastating to your world And it might be that you need some other types of connections In your life It might be that you need some more female connections It might be that you need some platonic male It might be that you need some connections with children or with animals or with other things nature Maybe right like just getting different types of connection where you're you're feeling connected to things And you have an abundance in your life and you have other things that are going on So you're not so like You know focused and tunnel-visioned on this dude And what's this dude doing and if this guy's doing the right thing or not and it's driving you crazy because it's Yeah, it's just this guy Right and so you want to make sure that that you're not so Kind of stuck on a dude that you are just like freaking out and losing your mind Sarah says I want to be unpredictable right now because his predicting me gives him too much power At least that's what I've realized recently. Well, I would get away from Worrying about him having too much power Like that that statement that you just made right there Is what it sounds like to me and maybe i'm wrong But what it sounds like to me Is that that statement is coming from a place of fear and so if You're coming from a place of fear When you're talking about this idea of power right like I don't want him to get too much power Over me. I don't want to have him to have too much power in the relationship The reason you're saying that is because you're coming from this place of I don't want to be hurt I don't want him to hurt me. I think men have some kind of malicious intent Right and so you're in this kind of like this fighting against each other kind of mentality You're in a world of not of partnership, which is what we want to be in but you're in this world of Of like the world of the sex, you know, the war of the sex is the the adversarial type relationship, right as as As as it's said before and so what what you want to do Is you want to figure out where that's coming from because it sounds to me Sarah like you're coming from a hurt spot and you need to do some healing and if you don't do some healing What you're going to end up doing is one you're going to end up getting into situations with men that are kind of adversarial fighting kind of situations And two you're going to end up hurting people Because you're worried about making sure that that person Isn't hurting you and so you're putting up walls and defense mechanisms and ways to fight this person So that they don't end up hurting you which is a really bad way to be in a relationship And it just leads to more fighting and it leads to more adversarial kind of negative Relationship type of stuff you want to be in a relationship where you're both on the same side where you you've got each other's back Where it's not i'm trying to make sure that he doesn't have enough power over me so that he doesn't hurt me But you want to be in a space where you're like Hey, we're in this together and we're growing and we're going to this destination Together because that is a place where a man then looks at you a man even So for instance, we have this woman who is one of our coaches and her name saline saline remi great coach and she Is just got recently married and Her husband was one of those guys who didn't ever want to get married He had looked at all these relationships around him He'd looked at his friends and his family and all these people that had these horrible relationships and got men that got hurt in relationships And he said i don't want a relationship and then he met saline And saline Changed his mind right he changed his own mind But he changed his mind because of saline because saline Always had his back because saline was on his side because saline really loved him And wasn't worried about making sure he didn't get enough power But was in a place of giving and connecting and receiving and loving And that's the place that you want to come from you don't want to come from a place of fear And the only way that you can get there from a place of fear Is if you do some healing and you find out what's going on with you and what's Making you afraid and how to heal those kind of areas of your life Whatever it is whether it's from the past of of being in a relationship where you're hurt Or whether it's kind of some kind of thing within yourself that you're kind of fighting against in order to prevent yourself from getting from from from Being like shamed or feeling like you're a bad person or whatever it is And if that doesn't make sense to you if what I just said doesn't make sense to you You need to spend some time Researching that because it's very very important to not only this relationship that you have with this guy But all relationships that you have with all people for the rest of your life Okay That was a bit of a tangent. Let's see. What else do we have here? So lis says I love chocolate chip cookies. That's amazing My time says but i'm a chocolate haul like yeah That can happen Yeah, and just think about it though think about if you took that chocolate and let's say you are a chocolate haul Right and you take that chocolate because you have this connection to chocolate. That's what you have You have a connection with chocolate and it makes you feel something probably makes you feel all kinds of different emotions And so imagine I I don't know how often you eat chocolate But let's say you eat chocolate all the time and you take that chocolate and you put it somewhere and you go You know what? I'm not eating that for a week All of a sudden you're going to be like, oh my god. I can't wait to have that chocolate and that's what we're talking about here Excuse me Shan says I've done the scarcity involuntarily left out loud We don't live in the same town and because of family priorities. We can only see each other maybe two times a week and and it's It's one of those things where if you have that kind of a situation a lot of times That's when things are going really really great. Sometimes we get women that come into our community And they are in these situations where they have a guy and he's in a relationship And she starts getting with him while he's in the relationship And then he gets out of the relationship and starts dating her and then all of a sudden What happens all of a sudden things change and he's not the same guy anymore And it doesn't feel the same way anymore and all these things start coming up and all these issues and next thing you know She's the problem and all this other stuff right and it's because it was like It's because There was this thing that was kind of keeping them away from each other before and it was that he had a girlfriend And so it kind of created this environment that made a really fun and engaging and flirty Kind of exciting thing for them and all of a sudden that's gone and they can hang out all all the time And you know, and there's other things that are involved there too with patterns and stuff like that But it's one of those things where all of a sudden he's around all the time and things start changing because You're around each other all the time and and and that's when long distance relationships can really work really well Is when you guys do see each other on a once a week basis or on a once a month basis Or something like that and they can work really great because when you're together It's just so passionate and just so oh because you're just like oh my god I had to wait this whole month to see you and I just oh my god. I love you Right and it's just amazing I almost forgot what I was talking about there for a second, but I remembered So Shan said I let him text me usually. How do we factor in unpredictability? What do you never text him back? Shan said what if he's terrible at texting? What if he's terrible at texting? What does that mean terrible at texting? Spend less time texting and more time Meeting that's what you should do. Don't worry about texting should be meeting each other and texting less and meeting more m.co says It has been three months of ups and downs. It laughs and sharing thoughts times and times spent apart for days Okie dokie Then he said thank you for your amazing advice. You are absolutely welcome My time says thanks matt. You're welcome m.co says we had no sexy time though I don't know he says that his love is growing for me I think I love him already When can I let him have some You can let him have some when you figured out that He is looking for the same thing that you are And that he has an emotional connection to you and he starts acting in a way that shows that he has an emotional connection If he shows that he has an emotional connection and he's looking for the same things that you are Then you're Good to go and you've been hanging out. You obviously have been hanging out with each other, right? You've been talking to each other. You've been spending time with each other Helena Hart Says hey matt that color looks good on you. Well, thank you. Helena. I really appreciate that What color are you wearing right now? Helena? I tell you that that looks good on you It doesn't matter what color. Helena is wearing everything looks good on her We all know that we all know that Shan says okay, what if he lulls on text like he's bad at texting? Well You should be focusing on meeting up in any way So don't worry about it Becca says what if he is terrible at texting any type of emotion even though I know my texts offer a feeling of happiness His are dry or inconsistent He probably sucks at texting and you should stop trying to get emotion out of his text messages Right. Why are you he's horrible at texting, but I'm trying to make him Emote over text message like, you know, a lot of guys are terrible at texting. That's kind of a masculine thing Right. Like a lot of guys aren't even that really good at Connecting or communicating and that's a very masculine thing to do and my suggestion is that you stop trying To get him to show emotion through his text messages Why are you trying to do that? That's So silly instead what you should be doing is Getting out on dates meeting up with him Stop the texting stop trying to live through text messages Michelle says he doesn't text me back fast, but he is always on facebook I know he isn't posting so I wonder if He talking to different girls in his inbox. He might not be doing anything Facebook sometimes shows people like they're online if they're just using their phone Sometimes it shows that people are online when they're doing other things And so I wouldn't pay any attention to that and I certainly wouldn't go to Maybe he's talking to different girls in his inbox. I definitely wouldn't go to any of those places That is definitely coming out of a place of insecurity and fear And maybe he is maybe he's not you won't ever know And sitting around thinking about it and thinking that he is Isn't going to get you to the place that you want to get to And so my suggestion is that you do the opposite and don't do that It's a beautiful day says been texting two weeks and have a date friday. He never suggested talking on the phone That's pretty typical in today's world. Most women believe it or not Don't want to talk on the phone. They just want to text and so guys are used to that And so if it's a big so think about calling right like calling can be a big deal depending on like where you are In as far as like the date process is concerned so if you're a guy and you meet a girl and you go on a date with her and You want to talk to her and you've texted her Like calling her like this is what a lot of guys have experienced the more that they try to like do a lot of things The more that they end up screwing things up And the girl that they're talking to ends up ghosting them right like there's all kinds of things that women don't even realize that Other women ghost for or do or whatever right like if you go on a date with if a guy goes on a date with a woman And the woman says That she really likes him and that she can't wait to go on another date with him Does that mean that she is ever going to text him again or respond to any of his texts or pick up his phone call? Absolutely not. She might end up ghosting him. That's right. You have no idea What guys are going through in the dating market? And so a lot of guys they'll get this right and they'll go on a date and they'll think it's great And this woman will say all these sweet things and how she can't wait to see him again And then she will ghost and so you have to realize that a lot of guys are Trying to play it cool these days because they don't want to screw things up with you And so what they'll do is they will not try to talk on the phone And they will just text and they'll set up a date and then they'll just be like, okay I'm not touching things until we get to the date because I suck at texting And I don't want to say something stupid and I don't want to screw things up with this woman And it very well might happen, right? At least as a woman If you say something stupid to a guy the guy might be like, well, she said something stupid But I'm still interested in hooking up, right? And so he'll still end up meeting up with you a lot of times because he doesn't care that you said something stupid But for a lot of women like they say that men Fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears And so what a lot of women will end up doing is if they hear something that they don't like they'll end up just disappearing because Of whatever so it's it's one of those things out there. You have to you have to have a little compassion for men and just realize that There's a lot, you know, you want all these things, right? You have all these expectations and these things that you think that guys are supposed to be doing Those guys were raised in all kinds of different crazy environments, right? And they had parents that were divorced and they're they some of them have never met their fathers or their fathers were Alcoholics or whatever, right? And they don't have any idea how to interact with women. And so They don't know that you should call or they don't know that you should Text however many times or you they don't know that they should do all these certain things And they certainly don't know that they should do it with you because they've gone on other dates with other women And those women have had all their own expectations that are completely different than yours And so Right now the the dating world is all over the place, right? And so everybody is like, I don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. What am I supposed to do with my hands? Right? And so there are in all these weird situations and guys don't know what to do And so they just do whatever they think is going to work most likely And so that's probably what he's doing in your situation My time says I learned from others mistakes. Well, that is a Amazing ability to have Prisa says cute hair prisa from kameru. Well, thank you. I appreciate it Love the compliments. Just keep them coming MB says is it wrong to be turned off when someone lies about their age and cut them off? well Maybe maybe maybe not I mean It's one of those things where he it Maybe right it depends on how Important his age is to him in his mind. So a lot of guys he probably told you a different age I'm guessing because he's older than The age that he thinks that you would want to date up to Right? That's usually why guys will lie about their age women Usually lie about their age and say that they're younger Than the age that they actually are because they think guys want to date younger women than them. And so I don't know, you know, it depends on whether he's got other qualities that are really good It depends on whether you find him lying in other situations It could be a red flag. It could not be a red flag It might want to be one of those things where he's just tired of being Of turning women off because of their Because they're like they find out how old he is and then they're just like, you know Not interested anymore And so it's kind of It kind of depends on his character and his personality and where he's at It does say, okay, if he's willing to lie about this He might be willing to lie about some other things And so what are those things that he's willing to lie about and how serious does he take his word as a man And so it could be it's a it's a red flag for sure And it's something that it should make you pause and go, okay What else is going on here that I might be missing and Is it necessarily should you cut him off? Maybe I mean if you're just starting to date and you just found out that he's lying maybe Maybe not it kind of depends on your situation and All that jazz prista says He recently got cold Hardly text as for calling. He ain't the call type. So what do I do to make him text often? Why do you want him to text often? Why don't you get stop texting and get meeting up in person? Why do why are you trying to get the text off? We just talked about the The scarcity principle, right? You don't want to be texting all the time You want to be meeting up with each other? You don't have to worry about him texting all the time You want to make sure that you're meeting up that he's a good guy That when you're there in person that you're connecting with him on the right levels You want to make sure that he's looking for the things that you're looking for In a relationship and if those things are going on You know, if you've got a great guy and he's got all these great things going on Like you should be focusing on that and less about how his his mastery of texting so that he can be Texting you all the time and stuff because it's just it doesn't it's not That's not the way to a man's heart. That's not A real like the connection that you really want to have I mean, it's possible like you could kind of connect to his heart through text message But you know if if he's already like not texting a whole lot and he's not the calling type It's like Why are you trying to make him? the texting Type right like it's literally what you're doing here Is you're trying to like get him to start doing something that he's he doesn't do all the time And so you want to find out what he does do all the time And hopefully that's meet up with you and hang out with you and build a real relationship with you And you want to be focusing on that and stop focusing on text messaging I've gone about that for hours thin fini Land 74 says hi Nanda here from boston. Thanks for your mature thoughts. We all need to evolve on our relationships. I agree Always learning something new from you Well, I appreciate that you learn new things from me and totally agree with your viewpoint Well, you know what you sound like an amazing person Nanda And I really appreciate that you are a part of our community And that you think I have really mature thoughts and that we're evolving relationships here and that you're learning new things And that you agree with me. So thank you so much for being here Alice said it was during pregnancy. So I put it down to being scared of being a father Yeah, scared of being a father. I don't know about all that. I'm scared of being a father. So I'm going to go and cheat I don't think that's one of the reasons that guys cheat Okay, so what other questions Sean said how can you make texting with him interesting like get Him to text better see you keep trying to get him to text better like he's got if he wants to text better He will figure out how to text better You got to stop trying to get him to text better and you shouldn't be focusing on texting You should be focusing on meeting up in person And if you're not meeting up in person either getting on the phone or doing video call At the very least if you're long distance If you're not long distance you guys should be meeting up with each other and you should stop focusing on Getting him to be a better texture just get that out of your brain completely That's that's what you should do is just get rid of the idea of I need to make him better at texting Just get rid of that 100 that's not going to help you out in any way He is going to be bad at texting for a long time. You might make a little bit of progress here or there And if you're forcing him to do it, but it's I mean, he's got to be in a space where he's like man I need to learn how to be a better text messenger, which is unlikely Because if you're breaking up it with him for being a bad text messenger, then you are Looking at the wrong things in life, right text messaging hasn't even been around that long Like who cares about text messaging you guys should be meeting up together and having a real relationship in person Paulette says I called a guy out and told him I'm done with liars cheers and players All right And he asked me if I was calling him that How can I tell if he's not? I'm trying to believe he's who he says, but oh, well, you know what? Paulette you are coming from a place of pain right now. We just talked about this a little bit ago With sarah and you are coming from a place of pain How can you know how can you tell that he's not? I mean if you think that if you're coming out Calling a guy out who you don't even know if he is or not And you're saying that you're done with liars cheaters and players And he's like are you calling me that and you're like, well, I can't tell if you're not You are coming from a place of pain You are coming from a place of feeling of being hurt And you are bleeding all over this dude right now is what's going on And so what you need to do is you need to take some time and you need to heal You need to get into those emotions that you have on your anger Probably i'm guessing your anger definitely some hurt there I mean there's there's some things going on with you that you need to address before you end up destroying Whatever kind of relationship that you're in because of your own trust issues that you have Because that's what you have right now you have trust issues and you have you have you have hurt issues You've been hurt and so you need it you need to do some healing you need to do some healing work and you need to Go through some forgiveness probably of some person probably of yourself maybe letting go And spending some time really getting back to a space of really valuing yourself and loving yourself and and getting Into a place where you're finding men that you can be around Who are are definitely good men from a platonic standpoint and just getting to a space where you can trust men again and you're because If you're doing this right now and that's what's coming out of your brain and that's what's You're pushing on top of him That's not going away By you finding that he is you know finding little things to tell that he's not lying Because what's going to happen is you're going to find the things that are going to tell you that he is lying Regardless of whether he's lying or not because most people lie right almost everybody lies At least a little bit about little things right like you're walking by homeless person He's like do you have some change and you're like no right you just lied right you somebody's like they There's most people lie all the time right and they're little lies or big lies depending on the person And so you're going to find that he's got lies going on because most people do even if they're small and innocent and white lies And so it's you're just going to hurt yourself You're going to hurt him and you're going to get into a bad situation where you're hurting everybody And you need to you need to heal you need to heal before you get into a relationship because coming from this space right now It's it's not going to it's not going to be good for you. It's not going to be good for him It's not going to be good for anybody Mary Ann says thanks from Spain. You're welcome Two wins says hi I've taken space from my guy three weeks because he was unclear about our future together How should I proceed? He's reached out with I love you and we'll show you with actions Well, what is he unsure about is he's unclear about your future together and you've been With each other for two years. I mean, he's not unclear. He knows exactly what's going on at this point and It's one of those things where you have to be like look don't just show me with your actions I want you to tell me right and as a man He needs to come out as a man and tell you what it is that he wants and he doesn't want And if he's not willing to do that Not only with his words, which is the first thing that needs to come but also with his actions then you need to realize that you're in a situation that Is not going where you want it to go And you need to decide how long you want to stay in that situation or whether you want to get out of it and He needs to decide whether he wants to stay Unclear or that whether he wants to get clear real fast in order to keep you in the In the relationship and it sounds like he's He's giving you some nonsense. That's what that sounds like the I love you and we'll show you with actions That doesn't Mean that he's clear about a future with you, right? That sounds like i'm going to avoid the topic of a future with you So that I can stay unclear and instead talk about my love and my emotions for you and At two years. He definitely knows he is 100 certain about what kind of a situation he wants to be in with you and He needs to let you know real soon and if he doesn't then that is Very clear that should be very clear for you about what's going on and you need to Get up and move on before you end up There's women in our community that have been in unclear situations for decades And you don't want to be in 10 plus years of I don't know where this is going Situation In my I don't think you want it, you know, maybe you do. I don't think you do. It sounds like you don't Michelle says and he gets mad because he thinks i'm checking up on Him because I send him a text to Facebook and he tells me why you got to text me two times Right, exactly. You need to stop that. You need to lean back. You need to chill out What you're doing right now is you're going to be smothering him because of your own insecurities and your own fears. Michelle I know exactly what you're doing and you need to stop it. That's what you need to do You need to just chill out and stop it and relax and Lean back and let him contact you After you've messaged him stop looking at his facebook stop figuring out whether he's online or not because Facebook lies. Okay, your man might not be lying but facebook definitely lies And so you don't know when he's online. You don't know when he's not online Facebook will say that he's online when he's sleeping So you don't want to rely on facebook to tell you Whether your man's lying to you or not that is the wrong signal to be looking at that is the wrong signal you need to be Looking at other signals that is not that's not the signal you should be looking at m.co says maybe he is cheating because he wants to be single It's possible. It could be that it's probably that he's cheating because what Guys usually people Usually cheat because of a couple different things. One is because of a power dynamic shift in the relationship Another reason is from Is from This thing of wanting variety, right? Like we all have this need for variety and so if he feels like He needs some variety he can get that from many different sources But he might get it from cheating and so it kind of depends on the situation It could be that his attraction has left for you And in that case what you need to do is dive deeper into the world of the principle of scarcity And Go from there So m.co says not my man that other girl's man that is okay Camilla says seriously some people are just not monogamous by nature just like preferences and personality We are all different, but it sucks if you trust the guy Well, it's not a big deal if somebody's not monogamous. That's not a big deal What's a big deal is if they say That they're in an exclusive committed relationship with you And then go and cheat on you That Is a big deal Kilima Camilla says monogamy is also just social conditioning It's possible. It's possible. It's possible that it's just social conditioning. It's possible that It's good To be in and and it might it might also be possible that it's it's a good social conditioning to have Right, like there's a lot of good things that come from monogamy Especially from a society standpoint, right? Like we are in a space now especially in the western world where monogamy is going away And there's a lot more open relationships. I was actually in this This I went to this group this men's group one time It was like this men's like becoming a stronger man type of program Which yes, there are lots of programs like that out there that tons of men go to and I went to one I've been to actually many of these things and I went to this one and there's this guy there He was from san francisco and he was married and his wife was They were in an open relationship. They're in an open marriage and His wife was running around town banging every dude. She could and he was like, yeah, it's funny. Yeah. Yeah open relation open marriage, right? And I spent we ended up like really connecting at the retreat that we're at and I was talking to him and I was like I was like, I already know what's going on with you and he's like what what you know And I'm like, you're scared because you want something that you're afraid of wanting because you've been told that it's bad And he was like, he's like, what do you mean? I'm like, you know exactly what I mean And he was like it took him a day Like he had to go and sleep and then the next day he came to me and he's like He's like, yeah, you're right matt. You're right I want a traditional relationship. I don't want to be in an open relationship. I don't want to see other people I don't want to date other people. I just want To be with my wife and I want her to just be with me And I know that our community that he was a part of this community in san francisco where everybody was in open marriages And they frowned upon monogamous relationships and they talked smack about monogamous traditional relationships like it's uh You know these these like lower people are into these traditional relationships type of thing, right? And It's one of those things where I don't think there's anything wrong with it, you know And from a society standpoint, I think it can be really really healthy He ended up just in case you were wondering he ended up getting divorced to his wife And he because he went back home to her and he was like, look, this is what I want I just want to be with you and I just want you to be with me and she said I'm not willing to do that and so he ended up getting divorced to her and You know and he's much happier for it because now he's not living a lie anymore where he's being forced to live in an open situation when he wants something monogamous and so You know, I mean, I think that maybe there's definitely a social conditioning aspect to our monogamy that we have And I also think that there's a lot of societal benefits to it because being in monogamous Relationships makes it so that the playing field is a lot more even And more people can get into Real relationships that they actually want. I think it's healthier for a lot of women Because women end up having a father figure father, excuse me father figure who's there to you know Theoretically speaking she can have a father figure. She's more likely to have a father figure who's there Who's helping raise that child? I mean, it's possible that she has multiple father figures that help raise her child for her And I think that for men It's really especially beneficial because in the situation that we're in right now What we have is is a small very very small group of men that are having ridiculous amounts of sex with women Right now and these men are hooking up with tons and tons and tons of women because they're really good looking And they're on tinder and they're swiping right and every girl swiping right on them And so all these women are all competing for these guys and these guys And so like regular guys that used to back in the day have better luck with Getting into a real relationship. A lot of them are completely celibate now and so it's Getting to the fact getting to the point where we're almost at 25 percent a quarter of all men Who are completely celibate? And so the stat was I think it was like 23 percent of men Haven't had sex in the last year And that that's the standard for celibacy And so it's it's getting to that point right and so there's a lot of benefit to having Kind of monogamous relationships from a society standpoint because men are more likely to be emotionally healthy and happy and women are more likely to have like real relationships with men and You know and so I mean there's There we'll see what ends up coming from the situation that we're in right now I mean who knows who knows where this is going to go I mean it's it's only crazy time right now as far as dating is concerned In our world, but my suggestion is that you put yourself in the best situation that you can if you're not about monogamy Then don't get into a monogamous relationship And if you want to open stuff just be open and honest about it and that's totally okay There's big communities out there that are poly communities that are all about People banging each other and whatever And I have friends that are in some of those communities and that's great and whatever you know It's it's not a problem. Just make sure that you are being honest about everything. That's that's all that matters Shan said I'm too afraid to ask what are we like putting a label on us Well, you shouldn't be asking that that I don't recommend doing that anywhere I've never ever recommended that you should say hey, what are we? But I know I'm only with him and he's only with me However, I would like some clarity. Well The question isn't what are we but what kind of a relationship does he want? And if he because labels are weird, right? Like, oh, you're my boyfriend and I'm your girlfriend It's like, what does this even mean? Like we're in this jolly world of boyfriend girlfriend Like it that's not even necessarily doesn't even necessarily mean anything a label doesn't necessarily mean anything And so what you want to find out from him is not What are we but what do you want in like what are you what are you trying to get out of relationships? Like where are you, you know, what do you what do you see yourself? You know, do you want to get married? Do you want to have kids? Like those are important questions that you should be asking At the beginning stages of dating somebody Not waiting until you know A few months in and then being like, oh, you know, we've been hooking up and I'm Totally emotionally attached to you now. What do you want in life? You know, are you looking for kids? I want them But you know, it doesn't matter anymore because I'm already attached to you And so you got to ask these questions Way way earlier, right? Like because they're they're literally like questions that make or break Whether you're with somebody too many women get into situations where they're like, I'm going to convince this man You know, like we're talking earlier like they want you want to convince this guy how to learn how to text It's like stop trying to convince him to learn how to text You want to convince him to have babies with you to get married and you know, all these different things It's like that is going the wrong direction and that sets up an adversarial relationship because now you're fighting to get your needs met It shouldn't be a fight for those things those things shouldn't be a fight Ramona says three years in I have left him every year for different reasons Okay, however this time I said I would stay was I right to announce I would try to work it out Don't want him to become lazy. You should stop breaking up with a guy To try to get him To do something different I mean, seriously, like how many times are you? I mean, I don't I don't know what the problem is, but it sounds like You're leaving you've left them three times already And you're getting back together with them and you're like, okay. Well, I don't want you to become lazy. I mean Oh my god I don't know. I'd have to hear more about your situation I'm not sure if it cuts off right there if you Tried to type in more and it didn't pop up Talia says, what is the time period before a relationship should be exclusive? A relationship should be exclusive when it moves to physical intimacy And no later It can be exclusive before that If you somehow get that if he says that to you if he's like, hey, I want to be exclusive But at the very last moment it should be before you guys get physically intimate together That's one Obviously, you don't want to pressure someone into anything quickly. You shouldn't pressure him into anything at all ever That is not what I teach you what you need to do Is go get my program the forever woman formula dot com go to the forever woman formula dot com There should be a link above or below And go through the it's free by the way and you should go through the program No, you're not leaving it up to the guy. Absolutely not. We had we had this We keep having these feminists that come onto the channel and they're like, why are you teaching women to You know chase commitment from men if that's a man's thing to do that is not a man's thing to do That is your department a man can be in a situation ship a friend with benefits casual hookup thing for Decades and not want to move anything further. I don't know any women that want that I'm sure there might be some women out there that are okay with that But most women that I know do not want that they want real relationships And so absolutely not you should absolutely not Leave that up to the guy that is your department And you need to make sure that you are getting into a situation that you want to be in You are here to make sure that you are taking care of yourself Have boundaries that make sure that only the right guys come in and one of your boundaries should be that you should not be Hooking up with dudes unless they are agreeing to exclusivity with you, which does not mean that you're pressuring them You are giving them a choice That's what i'm talking about here and I go over that in detail in the forever woman program So go and get that program right now. It's free. There's no reason not to have it Renee said I'm just joining. What did I miss? Oh The humor jack rabbit says when you think someone has too much power is because you've given them that power You can take that away and balance it out Well, she's coming from a space of fear. She's talking about sarah. I think and you're talking about somebody that's coming from fear not when they That's not when you're worried. She's she's not she doesn't think that he has too much power She's worried about giving him power. That's a totally Totally different mindset that she's coming from It's beautiful. They says I don't mind being able to I don't mind being able to be red But not schedule red Spontaneity is exciting. I think that is what unpredictable is Sexy Cheryl says could you speak on being in a relationship with a narcissistic guy? Do you want to be in a relationship with a narcissistic guy? Is that why you're asking are you in a relation? You know, it's it's interesting to me This whole thing about narcissism, right? Like first off if I were you I would stop using the label narcissist. I mean if he was Technically diagnosed as with having npd. That's its own situation if he wasn't and you're Self diagnosing him as a narcissist. My suggestion is that you first stop doing that Second because it what it does is it objectifies him and so it instead of looking at him like a human being You're looking at him as this narcissistic guy object thing And you start it's really easy to demonize and dehumanize him and turn him into this Thing that doesn't matter anymore when you do that instead what you should do Is you should look at his behaviors and you should decide whether those behaviors are things that are healthy for you to be with or not And coming from that standpoint should you be in a relationship with somebody who is Using these type of behaviors that you do or do not like And if they aren't behaviors that you you like and they're really bad behaviors what you need to do is get out of That abusive situation Completely as quickly as humanly possible That's what you should do. You shouldn't get into a situation. I I get these women. They're like, he's abusive How do I turn the tables on them? You don't you stop and you stop trying to be abusive back You stop trying to get revenge You stop trying to stay in a situation where you're victim to this human being and you get out And you take care of yourself and you put yourself into a situation. That's better. That's what you do Michelle says no matter what I do is not good for him And he always likes to yell at me and put me down. We are always fighting. That sounds horrible M. Dotco says so continue to hang out with other men get a puppy hang out with other ladies as much as possible And no punani punash I don't remember what the situation was but that's funny that you said that okay I don't remember what your situation was shown either. You said it be but it's been going on for 10 months Is that okay? I don't know what was going on for 10 months I'm wondering how it would work if we saw each other more, but ha ha we really get along so well songs and covers I'm in love with someone And we are very friendly with each other without games and very healthy I see his potential But very shy to do the move How can I make him do the move? So it sounds like you aren't In any kind of a romantic Situation at all. I have a livestream about this actually And what you should do is you should go look it up It's called something like how to turn your guy friend into your boyfriend Something like that should look up that live stream and watch it. It is fantastic Women I hear who have watched this live stream have turned men into that who are shy and Not making moves on them into just guys that were totally into them that were making moves and move things for There's actually a woman who I know that's in a relationship because of that I'm sure there's other women that are probably in the relationships now because of that and haven't said anything about it So I would go check that out. I hear from women that have told me. It's an amazing live stream It's amazing live stream Chance says he texts me from work to say hi and tells me he misses me. That's why we text so much between visits Well, that's sweet Michelle says I have a male using red pill content techniques on me and I had to let him go It was more abusive than masculine energy and masculine energy isn't abusive Red pill stuff Is abusive. I mean it Usually it's not red pill stuff. It's usually black pill stuff they like to call it red pill stuff because it makes them feel better about themselves But really they're a bunch of nihilists, which is why they're treating women so badly and I could talk about that forever. Maybe I'll do a video on On that at some point Sean said my guy seems like he has an emotional connection Can I tell him how I feel or do I wait till he tells me? What are you trying to tell him? It depends on what you're about to say I mean, it's it's one of those things where it's like What what exactly what exactly are you saying when you tell him how you feel? Fort Collins, Colorado, I lived in Colorado for a while Been to Fort Collins many times Natalia says what if I block him and I want him back? Well, then don't block him M.co says I touched something and got knocked off the out of the convo I hope that I didn't miss anything good. I hope you didn't either Michelle said he thinks he is still like 25 years old, but he's 43 years old And he thinks he looks like that, but he is 300 pounds now Sounds like he's got Peter Pan syndrome and he has never grown up Michelle says what if blocks and block you? I don't know what that means Nathan says nothing Nathan I agree with the Facebook advice 100 Facebook is just time wasting yet. Do not do that So she said part one I lean back and he apologized not having time to see each other because he is working too much We still haven't seen each other in a month. He is a detective and works a lot Part two, he texts me every day, but I'm tired of his no time. He keeps saying he will See each other soon or next week, but it doesn't happen. Should I disappear? I don't think you should disappear on him. I think you should Create some scarcity there. I mean if you like the guy and you want to see him again Just be like, hey, you know keep your text super short Keep them to one or two minimum and just be like, hey You know, it's really good to hear from you. I love hearing from you and I'd love to meet up Sometimes soon. I'm really busy right now So if you let me know when we can meet up we can chat then and say You know just keep in touch Until he you know and keep keep the connection on text messages low That way he feels an incentive and a desire to meet up with you And just you know, don't give him, you know, you don't want to go from like It's like, okay. Well, he's talking to me and then I just disappear on him I mean you don't want to disappear on him necessarily if you like the guy Just let him know that you like him and that you want to see him but you're This whole texting and not meeting up with each other thing just doesn't work for you and That you want to you want something more and You know, if he's just going to be too busy Just let you just to let you know when he's not too busy and that you're going to go on living your life and You know, if you're still if you're still single when he's Finally not busy again, then he can get a hold of you and And you know, maybe you guys can meet up again Becca says thank you wasn't trying to get him to show emotion But rather seems a waste of time would love to get together more than texting a few times a week But due to his family commitments make it one a week Lulu says do you think he's serious? That's a good question. Do you think he's serious? M. That co says I agree calls are like funny feeling M. That co says but calls are important, aren't they? Don't we have to speak outside of hanging out? Depends on how often you hang out. I guess not necessarily You can depends on you depends on what your needs are right and his needs are Maybe maybe not and says hi from norway. Hey It's beautiful day says thank you for answering good points regarding talking on the phone patients till after the first date friday Ta-da says I haven't talked to my ex for 30 days Miss him like crazy. How do I know if he misses you? You will know if he misses you when he reaches out to you To talk to you It's beautiful day says I found out on dating profiles. They often lie about their Age I think they want younger women, of course That's exactly what they do Alexandra says yes, it may turn you off. It turned me off big time He lied about his age by four years, but overall he was 14 years older So that was a bit too much right exactly and he knew that if he told you that you'd be like, ah, it's too much Couldn't go further with this dude after that. Yep Julie tree says aha Matt. You are so funny. Well, I'm just so happy that you think I'm so funny Julie tree See what time are we hitting here? Oh Man, we are way over. We are way over So again, I just want to remind you guys if you if you have been watching this and you like what I have to say And you are sitting here thinking well G golly G golly willers this Matt guy Maybe you aren't thinking g golly willers But you think maybe this Matt guy has got some smart things to say and maybe what he's saying might Help me in my dating life get me into a situation Where I am being loved and seen and cherished by this amazing man that I want to have in my life What you need to do is go to the forever woman formula Dot com And get my program there for free. There's no reason you shouldn't have it. You should go there Get it. There should be a link above or below this video Again the forever woman formula Dot com Thank you so much for being here with me. I really appreciate you bringing all of your Thoughts and concerns and everything to me and allowing me to be a part of your journey to attracting and Getting into the relationship that you've always wanted to have And so thank you so much for being here and I I love all of you guys. You are the best part of our community Thank you so much. I love you. I think you're amazing. Thank you for all the compliments Thank you for all the women that come back and give us Testimonials and tell us about your amazing success stories Thank you for all the women that come here who are having issues That are willing to open up about those and talk about those things because that really helps us Create the environment on this channel and our group and in the forums and in everywhere about How to help everybody else out because your problems and the things that you are going through helps everybody else So thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you being here and I will speak with you again soon Good night or good morning or a good day or wherever you are Again, I don't know what to do with my