 Answer the phone. Go answer it yourself. Can't you see I'm passing your overalls? Okay, okay. Hello? How do you do? This is the Take It and Go Quiz program. Quiz program? Yes. Can you answer this question? Who discovered America? Uh, uh, uh, Columbus. Christopher Columbus. Right! And for answering that question correctly, you have won $15,000 in cash, a new 1951 Cadillac, an electric dishwasher, an eight-piece bedroom set, a cedar chest, your house painted inside and out, an 18-foot motorboat, a 16-carat diamond ring... Henry! Henry, why did you hang up? Look what crime it is. I want to listen to Jack Fennie. Look at all those prizes they want to give you. Are you crazy? You don't understand, Kelly. Today he's doing a second episode of King Solomon's Mind. Oh, yeah, with Deborah Kerr. That's con. Well, don't stand there arguing. Turn on the radio. Okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you the star of our show, that intrepid guide of the jungles of dark Africa, Alan Quartermains! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello again, this is Alan... Wait a minute. Don, why did you introduce me as Alan Quartermains? Well, Jack, that's the character you play in King Solomon's Mind. Aren't you going to do the second episode tonight? Yes, of course, but not right now. Everybody isn't here yet. I'm here. Oh. Well, Dennis, I'm so glad you are. Believe me, I don't know what I'd do without you. My mother said you'd kill yourself. You're a mother, you're a mother. By the time she realized that I'm the star of this show. Oh, I know you're the star of the show, and I want you to know I appreciate everything you did for me. Well, thank you. You gave me the opportunity. You guided me and taught me everything I know. Oh, Dennis, please. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not the kind to forget you picked me up 12 years ago when I had nothing. Oh, Dennis. Now I have $38. $38? Which I save for my own show. Well, you put... You could save on what I pay you, too, believe me. Now, Don... Yes, Jack? Will you please call my house and see if Rochester left yet? What about Mary and Deborah? Rochester's driving them down. Yeah, I hope they get here soon. Is it too windy in the back, Miss Livingston? Not for me. How about you, Deborah? I'm fine. Thank you. You know, Mary, I'm excited about being on Jack's program again. It was fun last week. Well, you were wonderful and a Deborah. But tell me something. You made the picture King Solomon's Mines with Stuart Ranger, didn't you? Mm-hmm. And on the radio, you did it with Jack. That's right. Well, tell me, Deborah, how would you compare Jack with Stuart Ranger? Well, Mary, I don't think comparisons are fair. After all, look at their ages. Stuart Ranger is 32 and seven years makes a lot of difference. Seven years? Did Jack tell you he was 39? No, 25. Oh, no. If Jack gets any younger, CBS won't have to buy him. They can adopt him. Deborah, how did rehearsal go yesterday? Oh, fine, Mary. Jack is wonderful to work with. But we have one love scene where we're supposed to kiss. And I asked him to cut it. Why? Well, with his glasses, when you get that close to him, you feel like you're window shopping. I know. On a clear day, he can see Big Bear. The auto club calls him for snow reports. But you know, Mary, Jack really isn't a bad actor. It's too bad he never won anything. It's just as well. His head doesn't sit his hair now. Oh, Mary, you're terribly amusing. I don't know what Jack would do without you. My mother says he'd kill himself. But Jack means well. Be careful. Yes, ma'am. Mary, a fender just fell off. Yeah. I wish Jack had got a new car. This thing is awful. I think it rides quite smoothly, considering that the rear wheels are so much larger than the front ones. By the way, what's that shotgun doing on the front seat? This used to be a stage groove. Oh, Mr. Billy still has the contact to carry the mail between Santa Monica and Malibu. Rochester. Neither flatman blow out in the dirty wind shield shall stay this courier from his appointed round. Rochester, stop being silly. Huh? There goes a hubcap. Rochester. We lost a fender, a hubcap, and a tail light. I know. Well, aren't you concerned about all those things falling off the car? No, this is the molding season. Rochester, please go a little faster. We're late already, and Jack must be worried about us. This is awful. We got a programmer. Do I can't understand what's keeping the girls? Well, maybe they went by my house to pick me up. Oh, did you tell them to? No. Then why would they go to your house? They're both nuts about me. Oh, for heaven's sake, Dennis, how can you say such stupid, idiotic things? Both nuts about you. Mary thinks you're a silly kid, and Deborah doesn't even care. That's car. Now, cut that out! Anyway, Dennis, since we can't start the sketch until Mary and Deborah get here, how about singing your song? Maybe that's them now. Come in. Well, I... I certainly didn't expect to see you, Mr... Mr... You're now such a wold. John! Yeah, what are you doing here? I just dropped in to tell you the good news. I just got a job. A job? Yeah! I'm gonna be a nut shit. I'm gonna be a nut shit, Grom Chinese Theater. And I'm sure it's Grom and Chinese, eh? Well, good, good. I sure was lucky to get it. There was a lot of people there before me. They must have been waiting a long time. Well, how do you know? I could see their footprints in the cement. No, no, John, you... Well, never mind. Anyway, I know you'll make a very good, I sure. I hope so. Yeah. They offered me the same job at the Pantages Theater, but I turned it down. Why? They're showing porn yesterday, and the smell of hearts will make me sick. Oh! It's so weird, man! Well, tell me, John, how did you get the job at the Chinese? Well, I'll tell you how it happened anyway. I was walking down the street. I wasn't doing anything. Just walking down the street. I didn't feel I was doing anything. I was just walking down the street. All of a sudden, a pilot comes up to me and says, Hey, you, I see you. He says, you, I see me. He says, yeah! He says, can't you see I'm busy? Busy? I was counting the cracks in the sidewalk. Well, mister, mister... You're gonna watch me, I think, awful trash! I'm sure you... Well, good luck on your job, Mr. Savoni. Mr. Savoni, goodbye. Goodbye! Tennessee Wall, sung by Dennis E. Day, and accompanied by a three-star Hennessy orchestra. Hey, that was a pretty good ad-lib, wasn't it, Dennis? Yeah, it even got a big laugh at rehearsal. Dennis, you weren't supposed to tell. You know, sometimes you do the... Hey, Jack, we're here. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Deborah. Hello, Jack. Dennis, you're here. I went by your house. You see, you see, you see... All right, all right. Now, girls, you got here just in time because we have to do our play. Now, Mary, in this episode, you're gonna be a native princess. And, Dennis... Yes? You're gonna be Deborah's brother the same as last week. Now, go ahead, Don. Introduce the play. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, the Jack Benny Jungle Art Players bring you the second episode of that thrilling saga of darkest Africa. King Solomon's Mind. My name is Alan Quartermain. My business is leaving safaris through the animal-infested jungle of the Congo. Last week, I had decided to give up the treacherous life at the jungle and go back to England. As I was packing a beautiful girl... I mean, as I was packing... A beautiful girl! A beautiful girl with flaming red hair came to my hut. Her name was Deborah Kerr. That's Kerr. Kerr, Kerr. They come in late and give order. I was looking for her uncle who never returned from King Solomon's mind. I refused to make such a perilous trip. She knelt at my feet and begged. She pleaded and cried. But I resisted her for hours. She offered me her lip. I remained stubborn. She offered me her love. I still resisted. Then suddenly, I became putty in her hand. She offered me money. Days later, with our food and water nearly gone, we arrived at the village of Kelowana. As we entered the clearing, the savage cannibal tribe turned on us. Quataming! Quataming! Ah! Don't let these cannibals torture me. Do something. Talk to them. I will, Deborah. I will. Ogula Kanagu, Wagu Kanoya, Matula. Wagu, Wagu. Wagu, Wagu. Quataming, these cannibals are vicious. How are we going to get away? Quiet, Deborah. I'll amuse them. I'll tell them a limerick. They love those. It worked! It worked! It worked, they've gone. Oh, that's wonderful. What was the limerick? I can't tell you, it's dirty. It really wasn't. But I like to drive the CBS censor nuts. The next day, Deborah, her brother, and I started out again on our search for King Solomon's mind. Agadouamowa! Agadouamowa! Makua! Why is your sister lagging behind? Shall I go get her? No, she's ten feet away and you'd only get lost. You're always getting lost. I didn't see you all day yesterday. Well, yesterday was Saturday. What about her? I had to go back and do my own show. I was glad he had returned because the map to King Solomon's mind was painted on the roof of his mouth. And I was the only one who knew which one of his heads it was in. Brother, you wait here. Deborah, you keep lagging behind. Here, let me help you. Don't you touch me. What? I hate you being here. Hate you, hate you, hate you! But why? I'm trying to help you. Why do you hate me? Because it happens in all pictures. I have to hate you first so I can fall in love with you later. That didn't seem to make sense. And the horn blows at midnight. They loved me in the beginning, but hated me when it was over. I couldn't understand it. What are you mumbling about? Nothing, nothing. I can do them all off. I can do them all off. What's the matter, Quaternain? Why did the natives stop? They can always sense danger. Careful, Deborah. There's a lion. Where's my shotgun? I saw it on the front seat of your stagecoach. But I brought it with me. Oh, here it is. I think I... We were in trouble. The lion had a rifle, too. We must get away. Aganua Moa! Aganua Moa! Late that night, we arrived at the village of San Zimbalas. As we entered the clearing, a native princess came to greet us. Aga Malayakanoa. Yakanoa? Are you a native princess? Yes. Me, native princess. But your skin is so light. Me, not real navel. Me, daughter of man once lost in jungle. Oh, are you the daughter of Mr. Stanley? No, Dr. Livingson, I presume. Oh. You come with me. I take you to Bally High. Bally High? At that moment, I was proud of my writers. They were now stealing from South Pacific. The princes not only befriended us, but our whole tribe showed us their hospitality. They realized we had been traveling for days and prepared a bath for each of us. As I sat there in the big tub relaxing, they even built a big fire under it to heat the water. But I became suspicious when I reached for the stove and found out it was a potato. This was a gravy situation. My writers were also stealing from Milton Burl. But I knew what to do to save us. I made every member of the tribe a package of lucky strikes. You could tell they were delighted by the way they sang. I can do a moa goo, lucky strikes is a spoke for you. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, digga doo. I can do a find a back, round and ferment fully packed. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, digga doo. We're so buried, digga digga, when we're puffin'. We all say, oh digga digga doo, there's nothing better than a lucky. Meek-a-wa-wa-doom-a-guff means that there is no rough puff. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, digga doo. Men who say that native chief is a dummy. Often advised going out to savage tummy. Get the bacon soda. We eat men and when we're through, we all smoke his lucky stew. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, digga doo. Go on, see, see, my wife. Go yupponga, see, my wife. Go on, see, see, my wife. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, digga doo doo. Digga digga doo, today. When they finished singing, they went into the weirdest gyrations. We stood there spellbound watching them do their native dance. Woo-doo-wah, woo-doo-wah. Woo-doo-wah, woo-doo-wah. Muga muga muga with an L.A. main right. Muga muga 확진 with an L.A. main right. We deserter right and deserter left. Mubangabangabong with a. Whooo! Gee. That must be a tribe from Calabasas. Yeah. Princess, there's something I'd like to know. What do you like to know? We've been watching your people dancing, and the one at the end of the line dances so much better than the others. Why is that? Last week him eat Arthur Murray. For the next two weeks, we traveled onward in our efforts. Thank you. For the next two weeks, we traveled onward in our effort to reach King Solomon's mind. And the feeling between Deborah and I had grown to... Uga mala nega. Oh yes. And the feeling between Deborah and me had grown... had grown to be more than friendship. We was in love. Each night, we sat in the darkness of the jungle, anxious to show our feelings towards each other. But our brother kept coming between us. Twice, I kissed him. During the day, there was work to be done. Quatermain, what are you doing with that shovel? Where is my brother? No, no, no, it isn't that. Tomorrow, we start across the desert at King Solomon's mind. So I'm digging a Hudson trap to catch some food. But that's just a hole. Why do you call it a Hudson trap? Ask your brother. Brother? Why do they call that hole in the ground a Hudson trap? Because the animals have to step down to get into it. I wouldn't touch that joke with a ten-foot pole. The next morning, we set out across the hot, blistering desert. For twelve days, the sun beat down on us unmerciful. Our tongues were getting parts. Wait, Quatermain, wait. I can't go on my throat is dry. I must rest. How far have we traveled in this terrible desert heat? Twenty-two miles. Only twenty-two miles in twelve days. Aren't we moving awfully slowly? Well, we'd have gone a lot slower if I hadn't lightened our load. Lightened our load? What did you do? I poured all the water out of our canteens. My first impulse was to crush his skull. But I didn't want to wrinkle the map. And though we had no water, we still continued on our way. I can do them all. Wait, wait, please, wait. Makoa! What's the matter? I just can't go on. We'll never reach the mine. This is the end, Quatermain. That's Quatermain. Oh. I begged her to continue. We had to find out what happened to her lost uncle. And two weeks later, tired, weary, dusty, and bedrackled, we arrived at King Solomon's mine. Arsh, Quatermain. Look at all those diamonds lying around. Yeah. Stop kissing them and find my uncle. Here comes somebody now. What do you do here? We're looking for my uncle. His name is Sylvania Carr. Was he here? Sylvania Carr? Yes, yes, he here. But he go away. Away? When did he leave? Maybe we can still catch him. Tell me. When he left here, did he walk? No. He went by car. That's curved. Stupid natives. Well, Deborah, we got to King Solomon's mines and your uncle is gone. So there's no use of us going any further. I know, but what's the point? I know, but what can we do now? There's only one thing we can do. We'll finish it like all pictures. Kiss me. What? Come here, baby. What do you say now? Aga nua mawa. Well, tell that to Stuart Granger. I'm going home. This is at our local movie theater. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Strike me happy. Go lucky. Go lucky. Strike today. My girl is quite a movie fan with luckies. I will teach her that richer taste and mildness make a perfect double feature. There's only standing room tonight and that's a happy fact. The movie's like a lucky strike so firm and fully packed. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Strike me happy. Go lucky. Go lucky. Strike today. Friends, are you happy with your cigarette? Here's why I ask. A recent 38 city survey shows that millions of smokers are not happy with the brand they're smoking. Now, if this is true of you and you want complete smoking enjoyment, switch to Lucky Strike. You see, fine tobacco and only fine tobacco always gives you that happy blending of perfect mildness and rich true taste. Everything you want in a cigarette. And everybody knows LSMFT, Lucky Strike, means fine tobacco. So friends, really enjoy your cigarette. Be happy. Go lucky. Make your next carton Lucky Strike. Be happy. Go lucky. Be happy. Go lucky. Strike me happy. Go lucky. Go lucky. Strike today. Thank you, Deborah Carr and good night, folks.