 Two couple nights ago, Andrani says, out of nowhere, I'm walking over to the couch, sit down, we're watching television together, and she says, she says, you have a huge head. I said, I know, did you put on one of my baseball caps? She said, no, I'm just looking at your head. Hey, welcome back to our stupid directions of Corbyn. You can follow us on Instagram, Twitter for more juicy content. Thanks for watching, you can follow us on Twitter, and subscribe for the like button. What are we doing today, Rick? We are going to slather ourselves in mayonnaise and dive into a vat of tuna fish. Oh, cool. Tootie. It's called our stupid cuisine. We got a video, it's from Carl Rock, we've seen a couple of his videos, we recognize him. I do recognize him. He was with his girlfriend. Yep, he did a South Indian thing. Yeah, they were on the island. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, it's how to drive in India, apparently. There's no rules. No, absolutely none. Just honk your horn a lot, and Jimmy for position. Which is like most people's love life. Oh my God, it was so crazy. First thing I remember, because we got picked up by a stupid baby, lovely stupid baby, when we got to Delhi, so awesome. And there was on a loop to get on to a highway, I'm pretty sure, and there was a truck in front of us, and he just went into the median point. Oh yeah, baby. I was like, what are you doing? Oh yeah, just in there obviously. And wherever you're going, you can just reach your hand out and touch the vehicle next to you, but everywhere you go. But what's amazing is that it's such organized chaos. It's organized chaos. I remember saying that to Andrani, he said, how are there not more accidents here? It's insanity. Yeah, and then the honking isn't angry honking, it's just like, hey, I'm here. It's simple, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. That's all it is. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. They use it as echolocation. Andrani was amazed at how quiet the streets are here, because we only honk in the event of a warning because there's an impending emergency. You'll hear a lot more. I mean, you'll hear honks here obviously, but not like India. And New York is closer. Yeah, there's a lot more, but that still is angry, get out of my way. Nothing is like India. Not like, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. This should be fun. The United States, it's more of get the fuck out of my way. Now, where is he from originally? Is he an American? Is he British? I don't know where he is. If he's American. He's a human, Rick. Well, the streets are set up there as are the vehicles just like they are in England. We are the reverse. We're the ones who put the steering wheel on the other side of the car and we drive on the other side of the road. So that adds a whole other level of weirdness for you if you're getting used to Indian roads because they're set up like British roads. What? Nothing, okay. Our first memories I thought of just asking something really dirty. What a surprise. Today, I'm going to show you how to dodge cars in India. Seriously. See how nice these new Delhi streets are. Yeah, it was really nice. There are animals, no enroachment, mansions hidden behind green walls. Yeah, you're in a residential area. There are clean streets. Not what you expected, right? And that's because this is a diplomatic area of Delhi. These are the most exclusive streets in India. Let me tell you. I was going to say that doesn't... It does not look like India. It's Modi's house. Well, his entire street. Got a whole street. Just around the corner, on the right here, is Burla house where Gandhi lived and was assassinated. If you're wondering why you're seeing Israeli flags, that's because the Prime Minister is visiting at the moment. And to end the tour, on this roundabout, you can see the soldiers practicing for the upcoming Republic Day parade. Oh, nice. Yeah, that roundabout is quite timid. It's now a museum and you can go in and see exactly how these guys... A lot of big cars. But for me to show you how to drive in India, we need to go on a real street. There you go. Not the posh streets where the 1% live. That's more like it. But damn it, the boogaloo and cellars will see me. Ha ha ha ha! Uh-huh. Cellars of all kinds come up to the door. You don't have to drive like a main man. Like this guy. Well, a lot of times you can't. There's just too many. People don't drive on the wrong side of the road and overtake on residential streets. Luckily, not everybody drives like that and you don't have to wait. You're perfectly fine driving slowly and sanely. You're just doing work on the road. Swerve with grace. Speed in India. Things jump out. You kind of can, especially in Mumbai. It's too many. Too many cars. More south-east. Ha ha ha! Animals, cars, buses. There you go. You need to be alert. And you need to be able to read. That's more like it. That's more like it. Look at that! It slowly allows you to do this. Buses and trucks rule the road and give them the right of way and interstitutions watch for them. You should also watch out for the motorcycles and mopeds. Yeah, because they'll fuck you up. It's true. Fluent areas and areas which are highly policed. Watch this guy run a red. That's a California green right there. If you're horning straight through and traffic lights. Especially at night when traffic lights are ignored even more. Oh jeez. If you stop the light before going make sure you take all the directions. What is, what is happening? You have to read my India survival guide. Oh yeah, they came up to the windows all the time. Find out how to get rid of these guys in India. No one in India uses the lanes. Fluid it, yeah. The lanes are fluid here. Yeah. At the beginning, one mistake, a kill. The lanes don't mean anything. The lanes don't mean anything. The right lane. It's like whose lanes are made up and the points don't matter. It is used for killing, to go right and for U-turns. So you're constantly getting stuck behind people who are turning. So instead of staying in the centre or left lanes when travelling straight. Every time you get in the car make sure your rear view and side mirrors are adjusted so you can see around your entire vehicle while you're driving. While driving in India, you can't put your mind on autopilot. You'll need to be constantly scanning around your car for hazards. Beep your horn whenever you need to make someone aware of your position on the road. If you're passing someone, beep your horn. So they know you're passing. If you're approaching them, beep your horn. If you're passing them, beep your horn. If you're making a turn, beep your horn. This guy's just out of his car. You can't be timid. Can't be timid. Now we're going now. Don't take it personally. You should. Don't worry about small things with other vehicles. It happens. And most Indians are relaxed about it. The price of panel-beaking hair is very cheap. You'll notice most Indian cars are scratched with a tooth. That's the nature of driving hair when everyone is trying to fit through small spaces and traffic to get a little berber ahead. So there are accidents. They just don't care about them. They don't care about them. Here, that would be a... You need a police report. Do you realise that driving hair is different? No. But it's not difficult. And I bet fatalities on the road are lower because the speeds are only... Yeah. ...most of the time... Four miles an hour. ...they're not going to be able to speed. I'm just not going to drive in India. I so want to. Yeah. I so want to experience that. I actually don't really have a desire. One, because the public transit is so good. Two, I like riding at Tok Toks. I think they're fun. Oh, I do. That is fun. I think they're fun. Public transport is a lot of fun. A lot more fun than here. But I just, for the experience of it, would like to do it. Have you ever driven in Manhattan? I've never been to New York. Oh, that's right. You've never been to New York. I would imagine that's probably the closest experience that you're going to have is the traffic in Manhattan is what it would be like in Mumbai and Delhi and... I drove in... And I would guess Chennai as well. I drove all over Ireland when we were in Ireland and so it was on the opposite side that we drive on here. It was a lot of fun. You get used to it. You were in a lot of country, though, weren't you? You weren't really in city a lot. Well, we drove all over. Yeah. We were Dublin, south, west, north. We drove all over Ireland when we were in Ireland. I don't think... Did everybody think you were a local and speak to you in Irish? In Irish? Yeah. That's not a language. It is for the Irish. No, it's called Gaelic. And most everybody in Ireland speaks English. They do? Yeah. That's weird. That's crazy. Oh, I know why. They're white. Yep. They make people speak English. Those of you who think... Don't look up that stat. It's true. It's 100% true. And if you're thinking about anybody who were in Russia or the former Soviet Republic that has been dissected into the many different places, those are actually variations of English. Anyway, it's great video. Great education here. He makes great videos. So it's what I find so... It's really funny. It's so studious, the video. It doesn't have much comedic or entertainment or ridiculousness. This is almost like a Driver's Ed video. Yeah. And it's pretty accurate. It was very accurate. I mean, obviously, he wouldn't actually know about actual driving, which we haven't done yet, but we were there and it checks out what he says. He forgot something, though. And I've seen this happen. If you have to pee, just pull over and pee. I don't know if it's legal, though. Doesn't matter if it's legal. When you gotta go, you gotta go, am I right? I mean, you could be here in Los Angeles and see a homeless man pee on the sidewalk. It's true. Now, here in LA, because the distances are so far, what we do is we just take Gatorade cans and bottles and keep them in the car. It comes in handy when you have to do long-term driving. It's true. You know what else works? FedEx packs. They're waterproof. You know, they have these things I've seen for females. I've seen it. So it encompasses all of it and then it has a little nozzle on the ends. I've seen it pee on the side of the road. I saw a guy do that who was a driver, like an Uber driver. Not an Uber driver. Don't do that as an Uber driver, but he was a delivery driver. And he put a hole in the floor. And one of those things, the tube that connects so that when he's driving he can pee and it goes on the ground while he's driving. That's hilarious. Anyways, let us know if you've ever driven in India. And if you've ever peed in your car. Both. Down below.