 hi everyone welcome back to my channel and welcome to another video i'm really sorry about the back clip behind me there's this really bright light up here but without it on it's way too dark so i do apologize for how bright and white it is behind me i thought today we would just film a very chatty very real honest video um it's gonna be a q&a slash you know the trend like answering questions i've been avoiding that video i feel like a lot has changed in my life recently and i haven't really updated you guys on it so i asked for questions on my instagram and i'm just gonna answer them very honestly a lot of the questions were about the same kind of thing okay let's start with what do you like best about yourself and what would you change am i gonna talk about personalities or like looks i think in terms of like personality i think i'm very what i don't think i know i'm very selfless and i know i definitely put other people before myself sometimes that can definitely be a flaw but i think that's a good quality i don't think i'd change that what i would change well first i'd have naturally blonde hair so i didn't have to have to get it dyed i'd also have boobs so that i don't have to get a boob job and lips i don't have to get lip fillers personality wise i just say i wish i was more focused i just procrastinate so much it's so annoying so maybe that what made you pick a uni nearer to home so if you don't know i go to raw holloway university of london not really in london it's it's near it's in sorry if you know the geography of the uk obviously compared to like the universities i was looking at before like leeds in manchester it's a lot closer to where my parents live in london there were a few reasons for that some of them were good reasons some of them weren't good reasons i mean one of them was the fact that my boyfriend lived in london i'm not gonna lie that was definitely one of the reasons a bit awkward now i'll get onto that in a minute but i also really really wanted a campus uni i didn't want to go to a uni like say like one of the actual london unis because everyone always just said how much more i guess inclusive a campus uni feels like it's a lot easier to make friends and you don't feel as isolated also my course was one of the main reasons because i was i wanted to do marketing a lot of the russell group unis i don't know if it's because of their russell group status but like a lot of them that did marketing it was very like old-fashioned in terms of the content of the courses and like the modules that you can pick whereas the the course here has a lot more on the side of social media and digital marketing and stuff like that so that is also the reason that i pick this uni and i'm very happy that i did i have no regrets a life at home or life at uni interesting question there's a lot of questions about uni i'm gonna get into the deeper ones a bit later i don't know i've only been here for a month now i enjoy the fact that i have a lot to do here like having full time i mean i say full time uni half of our uni is in person and half of it's online so it's kind of and then also doing youtube at the same time and obviously living with your friends and so you socialize quite a lot i like that my life's a lot busier now than when i was at home because if you didn't know the second half of my gap year i wasn't really doing anything because i lost my job from covid and i couldn't go traveling because of covid so i was a bit lost with what i was doing with myself but obviously like living at home i get my laundry done for me i get cooked for get my washing up done with a dishwasher i'm gonna have a dishwasher here opinions on the wavehouse i think it's sick they've done amazingly i'm very proud of them and realistically people that are hating are just jealous so take it as a compliment that's what i always say you like meeting new people and how is youtube going for you i don't know if i like meeting new people once i've got to know them i love it if that makes sense but i'm so nervous before i meet someone you like coming to uni i was terrified about meeting everyone and like having to make new friends because i haven't really had to do that for a while obviously until now like i made friends in year seven at school and i've kind of almost pretty much had the same like best friends since then but it was fine i've made some lovely friends i think the process of like getting to know someone is really interesting and how's youtube going good i'm actually really motivated with it right now which is surprising i think because i've had like because i've just started uni i've got so much more content to like make and this is the kind of content that i enjoy making whereas i was a bit stuck in my gap here as to what to film but yeah i'm enjoying it right now see how long it lasts what do you do for a living i don't have a job i'm a student full time are you happy with where you are at in life right now good question in a lot of aspects yes as i was just saying with like moving to uni i'm really happy that i feel like my life's actually moving forward right now and it's definitely got me more excited for like life again if that makes sense because this is really getting a bit deep obviously not everyone's happy all the time and i don't want to get upset but in the big picture i'm good are you homesick no i actually really am not homesick i've been here for a month as i said and i don't know if i've ever been away from my family that long before probably the max i've been away would have been like two weeks on holiday like with my friends or something i don't feel homesick at all sorry mom and dad have been watching this but i am going home next weekend to see them and i'm also going to see my other friend for her birthday who is at uni in oxford um so that'll be really nice maybe i'll feel more homesick after i've been home everyone always says don't go home too early when you first start uni because it makes it worse so i'll update you after i've been home but yeah right now i'm fine did you feel out of place starting uni a year later than most people i'm on a gap here at the moment so if you didn't know i've mentioned my gap you're like three times this video already so hopefully you've caught on by now but i'm 19 i'm about to turn 20 in three months i do feel old in that sense and like when i turn 20 i'm gonna feel really old because there's gonna be people here who are still 18 but i feel like because we're all at the same kind of stage in life which is first year of uni and like everyone's had to leave home and make new friends and all of this so i don't like i haven't ever felt the age gap i haven't felt out of place at all i can't really can't tell the age gaps between me and my friends i think you'll be fine enjoy your gap here i'm very jealous do you really want to be at uni i really do want to be at uni i think i mean the covid situation made it pretty rubbish but i'm not gonna drop out i think i'm not gonna drop out i'm gonna manifest it i'm not dropping out i'm not dropping out are you still friends with kate or yes of course i'm friends with kate i haven't seen her in a long time but yeah obviously we've both just been very busy she's just become a tick tock sensation and i've moved to uni so i haven't seen her recently but we are definitely still friends do not worry okay right i'm just gonna i'm just gonna start talking about this now because there are like a hundred questions i'm just gonna put some on screen basically saying are you single did you break up with your boyfriend how did you get over a breakup what's the reason your last relationship ended yeah also a lot of you uh knew who he was um i don't really know how you managed to figure that out because literally none of our relationship was put online so congratulations and good stalking skills you've also all managed to find out that we broke up probably because of my tiktoks if you don't follow me on tiktok go follow me because that's why i post all my emotional content uh if you ever want to know what's going on in my life i'll probably post tiktok about it anyways yes me and my boyfriend have broken up me and my ex he broke up with me about just over a month ago now no maybe more like six weeks ago now time flies quick when you're having fun yeah none of the details of our relationship were online so i really need to say anything but the fact that i've got more than half of my questions about this i feel like i couldn't just ignore it and obviously the tiktok content people are gonna want to know what's going on i'm not gonna say too much obviously it's his business as well a lot of the questions were asking how i've gotten over it i wouldn't say i'm completely over it i definitely have moments where it hits me and then moments where i feel completely fine i don't know how long it's gonna take i'm doing okay i don't know a lot better than i was doing six weeks ago yeah a lot has happened in the last six weeks so i'm feeling very different from when it first happened to how i feel about the whole situation now it's very confusing i don't have like a set answer for you like it wasn't like we broke up because i was moving to uni or because he cheated on me like it wasn't any of that i just hope that in the long run it will be the best for both of us obviously i didn't plan on ever breaking up but when it first happened i knew i was gonna be upset but i don't think i quite realized how much power he had over my emotions if that makes sense like even now just thinking about it it's gonna make me cry there's definitely been times since it happened where i've really really missed him but also just missed like that feeling of comfort like you'll know when you're if you're if you're in a relationship or you've ever been in a relationship but like being with them just feels like everything feels safe and comfortable and like happy i think that's what i miss the most for fuck's sake but everything happens for a reason and i need to keep telling myself that because there's bigger and better things coming not necessarily relationships because i do not want one of those right now but just in life in general i'm gonna follow that tiktok sound that's like go get that degree go focus on me anyways point is you don't need a man and you have to be your own happiness you can't love someone else more than you love yourself and that's the lesson that i'm learning anyways i hope that cleared that up i can answer some more questions now have you ever considered dropping out of uni and pursuing youtube full time i wish i could do this i would absolutely love to do youtube full time for a bit i don't think i could do it as like a long-term career i don't even know if youtube could be a long-term career for anyone but i really want to do social media marketing and like that is why i'm here at uni to get eventually into that field and get a job in that field so yes i would like to do youtube full time but also i wouldn't drop out of uni to do it so i'd always want to have my degree in my back pocket if that makes sense so that i could use that if i needed to or when i wanted to obviously right now i'm in no position to be doing youtube full time at all i just about managed to get one video out a week someone asked how much i make from youtube uh genuinely from like adverts ads that you see on my videos a hundred and something pounds a month it ranges obviously but like from a hundred to two hundred pounds a month is like average and then sponsorships but i barely do any of those like realistically and so it's not an income at all it's like i could probably make more money if i went scarring the streets for people's loss change would i get a nipple piercing maybe if i had a boob job first what's your ultimate life goal to feel content and happy i want to be financially stable i don't care about being ridiculously rich but i want enough money so that i never have to worry about like obviously i don't ever want to have to worry about paying bills and stuff like that but i also want to be able to just treat myself and treat my friends and family whenever i want to like i'd love to be able to just be like i think we all just need to go for a weekend like a spa weekend i want a job i actually genuinely enjoy so that it doesn't feel like work because they always say if you enjoy your job then you never work a day in your life i think that's the same and just to be surrounded by amazing people who genuinely care for me and to have a really nice house and a really nice car and really cute kids at one point in life because i really want children i guess that sums it up okay last question is do you ever feel like you have to live up to certain expectations or standards i don't know if you mean online or in my life in real life definitely when i was at school i mean i went to a very very academic private school in london and i know it might not have felt like it to a lot of people there because it was so academic they had very high expectations for what you had to get like me even getting one a in my gcsc's i was disappointed like the school had made me feel like that wasn't good enough which is ridiculous a lot of my friends were very very clever and so obviously they weren't pressuring me but just i was just like putting the pressure on myself to do as good as them online beauty standards a hundred percent oh my god i could talk about that for hours and hours and hours but i think i'm getting better i'm gonna end this video here got a bit a little bit emotional i need to go see my friends and have a hug i hope you guys enjoyed this video thank you so much for sending questions in if you don't follow me on instagram then go follow me that's why i always ask for like any questions assumptions video ideas whatever i need for my videos it will always be on there so go follow me if you want to be involved give a big thumbs up if you enjoyed it subscribe if you aren't already because it's free and it would really be a very nice thing to do and i'll see you in my next video bye