 So keep your place there in Proverbs chapter 21, so we're starting a new two-part series tonight and the series is called Off the Rails and what we're going to do tonight is we're going to look at this idea in the Bible of, you know, this idea of, you know, leaders and followers in the Bible and look at what the Bible has to say about this. Now obviously the most, the best, and I'm going to look at it at a little different angle as well. Let me just explain a couple of things about the sermons. The first sermon tonight is called Leaders That Won't Lead, okay? The sermon tonight is called Leaders That Won't Lead and now all the ladies are getting excited. They're like, yeah, he's going to really give it to my husband tonight but tonight is a sermon for followers, okay? Tonight is a sermon for followers in, you know, the case of leaders that won't lead. And you say, okay, is this mainly just about marriage and, you know, that's the primary application in the Bible to what we're going to talk about tonight. But let me just say this before we even begin the sermon, everybody's a leader and everybody's a follower in their life in some degree at some level in their life. You know, the only person in this church that is probably, you know, not a leader or a follower is probably the youngest child in the church is not a leader or a follower. Even the children, even the older children are leaders to the younger children in the church. A big brother is a leader to his little brother. A little brother is a follower to his big brother or his big, you know, siblings or whatever. So it is important to understand that this is not just about the husband and wife relationship, everybody's a leader and everybody's a follower. So tonight the sermon again is called Leaders That Won't Lead but it's a sermon for followers tonight. It's a sermon for followers. You're like, well, I'm not, I'm not a follower. Let me tell you something. If you cannot figure out how to be a follower in your life, you will never be a good leader. And everyone is a follower to some degree. Say, what, what about you? You know, you're the pastor of the church. Well, I'm a follower in many points of my life. First of all, even in this, even in the administration of this church, yes, this is a pastor led church. I am a follower of the Word of God. And I had better be a good follower of the Word of God and look, and especially you say, well, how do you know if, guess what, you're all reading the Bible. I'm, I'm, you know, I'm just preaching to you over and over and over till I'm blue in the face about how you should read the Bible, read the Bible, read the Bible. If the leadership of this church being the pastor is not following the Word of God, that is something that you should notice. That is your responsibility to know what the Bible says. All right, so look, I am a follower of Christ, of the Word of God, the Word become flesh in the administration of this church. I'm a follower of, you know, you know, worldly leaders, managers, bosses, all these different things, just like everybody else. People that cannot follow or people that cannot, you know, have any authority in their life. Look, there's people like this out there and they're in serious trouble in their life. People that just will not recognize any authority. Look, if I didn't recognize any authority in my life, I would end up where other people that, you know, they have a place called this. It's called prison. If I was just like, I don't recognize the authority of the federal government and I'm not going to pay my taxes. Guess what? I will end up just like anybody else that does that in prison or dead. So you must recognize authority in your life. We are all leaders and we are all followers. Now the Bible has very specific roles for different people. You say even women are leaders, turn to Deuteronomy chapter 6. Even women, yet women can be, women are commanded actually to lead in specific areas in their life. Now caution, this is not going to be a politically correct sermon. Things you're going to hear in this sermon, you know, have, you know, I've been in Newsweek for, you know, for preaching what the Bible actually says about the relationship between husbands and wives. But look, mothers are to lead in certain areas. Women are to lead in certain areas. Look at Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse number 6. The Bible says, And these words which I commande this day shall be in thine heart, talking about, you know, the word of God, you know, the law of God, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, diligently meaning consistently over time every day. And then it goes on to say, and shall talk of them, meaning the words of God, the laws of God, when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. You're going to be teaching the children all day, every day, from the time the children get up, from the time the children go to bed. The mother has a massive role in what Deuteronomy chapter 6 is talking about here. The mother is going to be leading this charge in the case of teaching the children. But there's even more. Turn to Titus chapter 2. Turn to Titus chapter 2. You say, Oh, women are just followers. No women are to be leaders in specific areas. The Bible is clear about. Look at Titus chapter 2. If you find those T books towards the end of the New Testament, you'll see Titus. Titus chapter 2, look at verse number 3. Titus chapter 2, look at verse number 3. The Bible says this. So what mainly the mother is to be, you know, the mother is going to be the mechanics of teaching the children because where's the husband? He's supposed to be out there providing. He's supposed to be out there working. Look at Titus chapter 2 in verse number 3. The age of women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomeeth holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. Well, you say teachers. So the women are to be teachers, the Bible says here that says in verse 4, it clarifies that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not black's fiend. So the age of women, or I even put, you know, in this category, the mature, meaning spiritually mature women are to teach the younger women, you know, these things to be discreet, chaste, so teach them how to be a godly woman, how to be a virtuous woman is what the Bible would say, to teach the young women, and to teach the young women to be obedient to their husbands, to actually teach the young women what the Bible says about the structure of a marriage is what the older or more mature women are to teach the younger women, meaning the married women teaching probably the single women who haven't been married or are just newly married. But now look at first Timothy chapter two. First Timothy chapter two. So in the case of everyone's a follower and everyone's a leader, women are a very good example in the Bible, actually. It's a very good example because women are to be leaders to the children, to the younger women in the church. However, they are also to be followers in a specific case. We already kind of saw that when it says obedient to their own husbands in Titus chapter two. But look at first Timothy chapter two. So the Bible actually said in Titus chapter two that in these cases, in the cases of younger single women, it is actually the mature married women that are supposed to be teaching and helping out the young ladies in the church about these things, about the Bible, how a woman should be, how a woman should be pure, how a woman should be discreet, how a woman should be obedient to her husband. They should be teaching those things, how she should be teaching her children, all these different things. Look at first Timothy chapter two, however, in verse number 11. Now here's what the Bible says according to the woman in the church and the woman in the marriage. It says, let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. Then look at verse 12. It says, but I suffer not a woman to teach. You're like, wait a minute, what are you talking about? It just said that women were going to teach before, but just keep reading. It says, nor to assert authority over the man, but to be in silence. So the man, the man are supposed to lead the church is what the Bible is saying here. The woman is not supposed to lead the church. I mean, there goes your woman pastors right out the window, right there. We met a woman pastor with pink hair today. I've never met that type of person before. So it just, it never ceases to amaze. So I mean, the woman pastor, here's how a woman, according to this verse in the Bible, here's how a woman pastor would preach. She would say nothing. Of course, in qualifications of a pastor in first Timothy chapter three, it literally says like six or seven times that the pastor's to be a man. Just again and again and again. A man, a husband, he, his household. So look, the Bible clearly says that a woman is to lead in this area, but in the marriage, in the church, that is the man, that is her husband is supposed to be the leader. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 14. You say, but what if, what if she has a question about something in the church, a question about something that was preached? The Bible even covers that. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 14. Look at verse number 34. 1 Corinthians chapter 14 and verse number 34. Well, this isn't popular preaching today, but this is what the Bible says. And at this church, we believe every single verse, every single word in the Bible, and we practice that at this church. But what if the woman has a question? What if the woman has a question about something that was preached, about something in the church? The Bible says, let your women, in verse 34, keep silent in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak. But they are commanded to be under obedience, as also sayeth the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. This is where Baptist, and at this church, we have the same practice where the men amen and the women do not amen, because of this verse. Because the women are literally supposed to be silent during the church service. This doesn't mean women can't speak in fellowship after church. This is not what we're talking about. If that was a problem, we would have major problems in this church. But the point is, is that this is where we get these practices, because it's biblical. And the Bible says that it is a husband. What the Bible is really saying here, is that the husband should be the one that is teaching his wife. So the wife is one that, I mean, so that puts a little bit of responsibility on the husband, does it not? I mean, how are you gonna teach your wife if you don't know anything? You know, that's a sermon for next week, actually. But tonight, we're talking about leaders that won't lead, what does a follower do in that case? I'm just trying to lay out the structure of what the Bible says as far as women and men's roles. 30 Ephesians chapter five. So women, they can teach the younger women. They're to be silent in the church. They are not to teach the men. Which brings us to Ephesians chapter five in verse number 23. Ephesians chapter five in verse number 23. Which brings us to who the woman's leader is in the family. It says for the husband, in verse 23, is the head of the wife. Even if Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. There's your answer right there. So the husband is the leader of the wife just as Christ is the leader of this church. I'm not the leader of this church. I'm the under shepherd underneath Christ, which is the word of God. So the woman is to ask her leader if she has questions, spiritual issues going on. So they're leaders in one sense, but in the family, in the church, they are followers. Okay? All that was intro. All that was intro. The question tonight, the question tonight is now that the women know, now that the women know, you know, who the leader in the family is, who the leader in the church is, what if the leader doesn't lead? This is the question. This is the question. I hope you kept your place in Proverbs chapter 21. Because we're going to be going back there. Tonight's sermon is for the followers. The woman says, my husband, he doesn't know anything about the Bible. He doesn't have a clue about a single Bible verse. How can I follow him? And look, it's not even just the Bible. You're gonna keep your place in Proverbs chapter 21. You're gonna turn to 1 Timothy chapter five. It's not even just the Bible. The husband has major leadership responsibilities in the family, like all of them. Like everything, it's like a, the family is like a ship that the husband is leading. He's responsible for the finances. He's responsible for the spiritual leadership. He's responsible for, you know, the structure of the home. He's responsible for everything. You know, the wife is his helpmeat just as, you know, just as Christ, just like I am to Christ is to me. It's the same structure. Look at 1 Timothy chapter five in verse number eight. The Bible says this about a husband that won't lead in not just spiritual areas. Look what it says. I mean, look at this language here. It says, but if any provide not for, is that say her own there? Look what it says. I mean, we have to notice these words in the Bible. This is why you need a King James Bible because these words like this are all messed up in all the new Bibles too. If any provide not for his own and especially for those of what? His own house. He had denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. The Bible three times says that this is talking about the man. This is talking about the husband right here. And God is literally saying here, he's like, you are worse than an unbeliever if you don't take care of your family. If you don't lead your family. If you don't look, the Bible's equal opportunity in setting people straight. All right, so it's saying, look, I mean, worse than an unbeliever. It doesn't say he loses his salvation. It's just saying, look, you're low. You're as low as dirt is what the Bible is trying to say here. If you don't provide for your family and you're the man, you're dirt is what the Bible is saying. So look, the first thing I wanna point out here, you see that there's major responsibility for the leader but the point of this sermon is this, what if the leader doesn't lead? What if the husband doesn't do any of this stuff that we're talking about? Then what? The first point is kind of a pre-point that I wanna make. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter six. The first point, what do you do in this kind of situation? The first point I wanna make in this situation is in 2 Corinthians chapter six. And the first point is to all the people that are not married, to all the people that are not following someone in this context yet is this, be careful who you marry. You must be careful who you marry. Look at 2 Corinthians chapter six. Look at verse number 14. 2 Corinthians chapter six. Look at verse number 14. The Bible says, be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship have righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? The Bible here is saying is that, first of all, it's just very literal saying that a saved person should never marry an unsaved person. And look, it doesn't discriminate against male or female here. It's saying, look, an unsaved girl should never marry an unsaved guy. An unsaved guy should never marry an unsaved girl. But you can take this philosophy a little bit further to just say that, look, you should marry someone that is on your spiritual level. And especially in the case of young ladies. If you marry somebody, see, because here's what young ladies could possibly do. Not any young lady in this church. But here's what young ladies could possibly do. They could say, you know what? He doesn't go to church and he's saved but he doesn't go to church and he doesn't really do anything for the Lord in his life but he's really good looking. And you know what? I can change him. The Bible says no. The Bible wants you to marry your spiritual equal. Because the problem with the lady that does that is she has now hitched her wagon to that slow horse. And it will affect her spiritual life. It will either make her spiritual life very difficult or it will actually slow her spiritual life down to his level. So the first thing is that if you're some spiritual young lady and you're doing all the right things and you're praying for a husband, don't you marry somebody that is spiritually below you. Because guess what? You're not following him until you get married. He's not, you are not subject to obey him until you get married. So you be careful who you marry. That's the first point. That's the first point. Look, if you marry some person that's lazy, that's unspiritual, it'll lead to a very hard life and a less spiritual life. Guaranteed, guaranteed. So that's the first point. Be careful who you marry. You say, okay, well what about somebody that's already married? It's already done. And that's kind of the point of tonight's sermon. What about somebody that's already married? Many people, they are unsaved and they get married and then one of them gets saved. One of them gets saved and then the other's still not saved. Now what? Now you're unequally yoked, but you're married. Now what do we do? People that got saved later in life, this is such a common story. This is such a common story. You know, the husband just maybe he's saved but he just doesn't have the same zeal as the wife. Or maybe he's just, maybe he's not biblical at all, maybe he's not saved. But here's the beauty of the Bible folks. Obviously plan A is to marry someone who's saved and is your spiritual equal. That's plan A. But the beauty of the Bible is God always lays out a plan B, a plan C, a plan D, a plan E, a plan F, a plan, whatever. God's got a plan B rev 1.12. If you do things the wrong way, which is what we're talking about tonight. So what do I do if I am married to a leader that will not lead is the question tonight. It's already done, it's already done. Now here's what the world will teach. Here's what the world will teach. And look, what the world teaches here is a paradox. And I hope that I can get you to understand that tonight. But this idea, look, this idea of feminism today. This idea of feminism, it flies in the face of everything the Bible says. And feminism unfortunately has crept into everything. You say, I'm not a feminist, but you would be surprised how feminism has crept into the lives of Americans, women, everywhere. Even if they wouldn't even identify as a feminist. Here's what feminism teaches. And then we'll look at what the Bible says. So here's what the world teaches today. You know, girls gonna go off to college, university, this is what they're gonna teach her. They're gonna teach her that, you know, she needs to be in competition with men. They're gonna teach her that not only does she need to be in competition with men, but that she can dominate men is what they are gonna teach her, you know, in the world today. And look, since women, the Bible says, women are the weaker vessel. Since women are the weaker vessel, this young lady now that has bought into this feminist philosophy is gonna go out and find a man that she can dominate. What does that mean she's gonna do? That means she's gonna find an extremely weak man. I've seen this too many times in my life. And I'm not that old. All right, you say you are old. Well, I don't think I'm that old. And I've seen this many, many times, because guess what? Strong men would have no interest in a woman like this. None. So she goes off and she marries some weak man that she can dominate, because this is what the world is teaching her that she must do. Now she's got this weak man that she's dominated, but then later on in her life, she realizes that this career dream that she was sold is fake. It's not real. That my life is gonna be fulfilled by this career that they told me that I could have. It's not a real fulfilling life. Then she has children and she wants to be a mother because that, you know what? That's written in her heart. That is written in her heart. That is written in her conscience that God has given her in Romans chapter two. She wants to be a mother. Now she wants a man. Now she wants someone that is strong. Now she wants someone that can provide. The career was a lie. I wanna be a mom now. Now I have this weak man that won't lead. What do I do? This is the problem. This is the problem today. What do I do? Do I dominate him? He's unmotivated. He just lays around all day. You know, I'm out here. I'm working two jobs and he's laying down all the time. He's laying down. He's eating Cheetos off his chest. You know, he spends all the money. He's not responsible. What do I do? Turn to Proverbs chapter 27. Proverbs chapter 27. Here's option number one. And this is what the world will teach. It has taught her since she was a young woman. Option number one is I will nag him and I will get all over him for being a bum is what I'll do. Look at Proverbs chapter 27 and look at verse number 15. Proverbs is so great because Proverbs just explains every single possible relationship between friends, husbands, wives, business deals, whatever you could possibly want. The answer is in Proverbs. Look at Proverbs chapter 27 and verse number 15. So the reaction of this woman who wants to dominate this man has a weak man. He's not leading. He's not doing what the Bible says he should be doing. But that's not the point of the sermon tonight. He's clearly not doing what he said he's gonna, he was supposed to do according to the Bible. What do I do as the follower? Is the question that we're asking. Here's what women will do though. Look at Proverbs chapter 27 verse 15. I'll nag him. I'll harass him. I will get all over him for not being what the Bible says that he should be. I mean let's consider that he's even saved and that he believes the Bible. I will just smash the Bible in his face every single chance I get and then he'll listen. But look at Proverbs chapter 27 verse 15. It says a continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. The Bible says that the woman is that just all over and nagging her husband, it doesn't look, it doesn't say she's right or wrong. It just says she's being contentious and she's coming at him and it's like Chinese water torture is what it's saying here. It's like torture to this man. He'll never be like this man in Proverbs 27 in verse 15 is never gonna be like thanks for the advice. Here's some flowers. It's never gonna happen. All right, look at Proverbs chapter 21 where we started. Proverbs chapter 21, look at verse number 19. Proverbs chapter 21 verse number 19. Remember this is the word of God right here. In Proverbs 21 verse 19, look what it says. It says it is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman. I mean that's a pretty profound statement right there. You know what this is saying is that he's not going to want to be around you is what the Bible is saying here. But he's not doing what he's supposed to do. But taking this approach is gonna make him not want to be around you is what the Bible is saying. Look at Proverbs 21 verse number nine just a few verses back. The Bible says this, it says it is better to dwell in the corner of the house top than with a brawling woman in a wide house. This guy's got a mansion. This guy's got a mansion and his wife is constantly all over him and he's up in the attic just like trying to hide. He's running off to the wilderness. The problem, look the problem with a woman that is coming after her husband and being contentious to her husband because he's not doing the right thing is not necessarily that she's wrong in every case. This is not the problem. What the Bible is clearly saying here is that, look first of all it's a catch 22 and I'm gonna explain to you why. I'm gonna explain to you why because there's only two results that will come from a woman nagging or a follower chastising their leader. There's only two results that will come from that. The first one is this and in the case of the husband, the first result is this, the man gives in. The man gives in, the wife nags on him to the point where he just gives in and he does it which basically makes him weaker. It makes him a weaker man which creates less leadership. You literally break him down to where he's weak. That's what I meant, it's a catch 22. The solution actually worsens the problem is what happens and that's what the Bible is explaining to us in Proverbs chapter 21. It's like if a follower comes at their leader in this way, even if they give in, now you've made that leader a weaker leader. Now the problem's worse than when you started. Now the problem's worse than when you started. In a marriage, here's the second problem. Here's the second problem and the Bible is clearly explaining this to us in Proverbs. The three Proverbs that I just read to you, you will destroy the relationship. Now this is a major problem. Who would want to destroy the relationship between a husband and a wife? I mean this man in Proverbs chapter 21 is literally just trying, he's hiding behind a tree in the wilderness. He'd rather spend time up in the attic than in his huge house. He wants nothing to do with this brawling, angry woman that is coming after him. It doesn't say he's doing right or he's doing wrong. He just doesn't wanna be anywhere near. It's destroying the relationship that they have together because he will do anything to get away from the contentious woman. So these are the two problems. The two problems is it will destroy the relationship and even if it works temporarily it will make the problem worse. So this is what the Bible is warning us about here. This is biblical truth here folks. This is biblical truth. I mean look, God hates divorce. Okay, God hates divorce but there's plenty of people that have that right. There are plenty of people out there that will never get divorced. They will stay together until one of them is in the ground but they have a terrible relationship. Their relationship is broken. They wanna have nothing to do with each other. This is not the marriage that we want. This is not the marriage that I want. I said this morning, I think that a great relationship with your wife is maybe one of the best blessings God's provided us on this earth. Why would we wanna do anything to break it down to damage it? But it takes both parties acting properly. We're gonna hit both parties equal opportunity. So look, nagging and being contentious towards the leader that's not leading is the worldly solution. That's the worldly solution. It is the wrong solution. It will destroy the relationship and look, you marry weakness and then you're gonna, you know, you basically then you destroy the marriage. That's feminism today. Marry weakness, destroy the marriage. That's feminism, who's following this? Who's following this? I mean, it's just logic. It's not surprising that it happened because it was a feminist that pushed the woman into marrying the weak man in the first place. But nagging and being contentious and angry in the situation where maybe he's not doing the right thing is not the solution. And look, guess what, here's another thing. For the ladies, it'll rob your marriage of any love and affection. You know, they say women need love and affection as much as men need respect. I don't know if you've ever heard that. But your husband can't be loving and affectionate when he's hiding behind a tree or he's up in the attic, all right? So look, it's a catch 22. Turn to 1 Peter chapter three. But you say, but, but, but, but he's a bum. You know, he's not doing what he's clearly supposed to be doing and that's making my life very difficult. What do I do? And look, I'm giving women, you know, pretty much all the benefit of the doubt here and we're just assuming that in this scenario that I'm putting forth that it's all the guy's fault and the woman just wants to know what to do. But guess what? The Bible addresses this. The Bible addresses what a wife, a woman, or even just apply it to being a follower. Just being a follower. Say you're at work and you have a boss that you don't believe is doing the right things. What do I do? The Bible addresses this. The Bible addresses this. It's actually, you know, it's kind of rare to have a perfect leader, you know, like it doesn't exist, right? But let's just say that, you know, the woman wants to do the right thing. The Bible addresses this if her husband is not leading or if someone's leader is not leading. Look at 1 Peter chapter three. Look at verse number one. I mean, he's not leading spiritually or in any way, all right? Look at 1 Peter chapter three in verse number one. It says likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands. I mean, this just keeps coming up again and again. That if any obey not the word. Look at this now. Look what it said there. It's talking about the husband. It's saying be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word. Talking about the husband. Saying if your husband is not following the Bible is what it's saying here. What should we do then? Well, keep reading. That they may also without the word be one by the conversation of the wives. Woo, you hear that? The Bible here is saying is that be in subjection to your own husbands and even if they don't obey the word. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter seven. It says even if they don't obey the word, actually just stay there for a second. Read verse number two. It says it's possible that your husband even though he's not obeying the word could be one by the words that you say. That's a pretty powerful thing. It's saying the leader that is not leading properly could be convinced to lead properly by the words that the follower says. All right, what are those words like? Look at verse number two. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. It's talking about the fear of the Lord right there. As they see your spiritual life being played out before them and as they see your pure conversation not angry, contentious, coming at him constantly. It's just saying, hey, be a meek and quiet spirit and have pure chaste conversation is what the Bible is saying. And you know what? Have an example of a Christian life for your husband to look at and you know what you could win him. Look, this is a long game. As I talked about two Sundays ago, this is a long game and let me tell you something. It works. And I've seen it work after years. And it works, but it is not going to work through the contentious angry woman. But the Bible here, turn to 1 Corinthians chapter seven. The Bible is clearly saying women, you must still be in subjection to your husbands. But you must, hey, have chaste conversation coupled with fear. Have a spiritual life that he can see and that he can hear. And you know what? He could be won. He could be won by your conversation. Look, that's power right there. That's power right there. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter seven. Look at verse number 13. 1 Corinthians chapter seven and verse number 13. The Bible says, and the woman and the woman which hath an husband that believeth not. Here's a woman. I mean, this is, isn't this beautiful? The Bible's just like plan A, plan B, plan C. I mean, couldn't God have been in the Bible like, hey, don't be unequally yoked. Don't marry an unbeliever. And then you look for the page where, oh, I didn't listen to that. I did it anyway. And he's like, have a nice life. But that's not what God does in the Bible. Here's a person that married somebody that wasn't a believer. This person is not saved. And if he'd be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. She's saying, the Bible here is saying, you married somebody that's not saved. Okay, that definitely wasn't plan A, but stay with your husband. Stay, don't go get, God hates divorce. That's still valid. Look at verse 14. Why, let her not leave him. Why? For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife. You know what that means? That means the unbelieving husband is purified by the wife. Through what? Through that spiritual life that she was living. Through that chaste conversation that she's having. And look, it works the other way too. The unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband. And here's the really big one. Elsewhere your children unclean, but now they're holy. Look, I've known a few cases like this where a chaste wife had an unbelieving husband and after years and years and years, her husband got saved. And pretty soon, they're equally yoked. He's leading like he should lead, but she was there being pure and chaste and a spiritual wife in subject to her own husband the whole time. And she won him. She won him to the Lord. She won him to Christ. I mean, this is like, it's not ideal to marry somebody that's not a believer, but if it happens, God has a plan B. And this is the plan B for the follower. Look at verse 16. Verse 16, it says, For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? He's saying, you stick together and you too, you do what you are supposed to do. And you do what the Bible says you are supposed to do and the wife could save the husband or the husband could save the wife. And look, if you destroy the relationship though, there's no chance. If you destroy, if he's in the attic or in the forest or in Africa or whatever, there's no chance. There's no chance. Look back at verse number 14. Look back at verse number 14 of 1 Corinthians chapter seven. And guess what? If you destroy that relationship through that angry and contentious wife or that angry and contentious woman just constantly being after her husband, you know what you're teaching the kids on how to destroy relationships is what you're teaching. And that's why in verse 14 it says, Else were your children unclean. It's saying do what you are supposed to do and the children will benefit from it is what it's saying. But if you sit here and you just, you decide that you know what, this isn't, I'm not gonna stay in my wheelhouse. I'm gonna get outside my wheelhouse and I'm gonna take the wheel as the Bible says I shouldn't do the children will suffer because you're now teaching your children how to destroy their marriages. And this is how these things carry through generation and generation and generation. And if you go look up statistics on, I'm not saying that a child that comes from Paris that were divorced is gonna definitely be divorced but it's definitely a higher percentage. And this is why, because they've learned how to destroy relationships, not function in them in a godly context. This is why. So look folks, if a leader does not lead, I'm not trying to sugarcoat this. If a leader does not lead, life will be harder for everyone. That's it, we'll talk about that in detail next week. If leaders do not lead, I mean look folks, battles have lost because leaders didn't lead. I mean, empires have fallen because leaders didn't lead. Everything rises and falls on leadership. So life will definitely, families are destroyed because leaders didn't lead. I better never have a man come to me that's been divorced and tell me it was all her fault. You were the leader buddy, you were driving the ship. It's like a captain that sinks the ship, everybody dies, he's the only one that lives, he's like, ah those people were no good. That's what that's like. The leader is responsible. And a leader that is not leading according to the Bible is a very serious thing but that does not change the role of the follower. Or in this case what we're talking about tonight, the wife. So let me give you a couple examples of just how to put this into practice. And before we end this evening, you just say, well what does that mean? This doesn't help me, like what do I do? How do I put this into action? Say you're like he won't do anything. You know, turn to Genesis chapter two. Turn to Genesis chapter two. You say, he just won't do anything. I can't get him to do anything. Brother Trevor and I were talking today out soul and he's just like talking about just being lazy and like what a curse that would be. What a curse that is to be a lazy person. That's another sermon in itself. But look it's a curse upon you, it's a curse upon your family. It's a curse upon the next generation. But look, it exists out there. All right, it exists out there. So like, you know, he won't do anything. What do I do? Look at Genesis chapter two in verse number 18. The Bible says this about the woman when he was God, God was gonna create the woman. So then the Lord said, it's not good that the man should be alone. I will make and help meet for him. That doesn't mean like a help stake. Okay, that means a help that is proper. That means a help for him. God is saying I'm gonna design someone to help him. So that is what the wife is. The woman is a help that is proper for the man. It's what the Bible is saying. So he won't do anything. Well, how's this? Be encouraging. Be encouraging to him. Turn to Proverbs chapter 31. Turn to Proverbs chapter 31. Be encouraging to your husband. Ask if he needs help. You know, be a help meet for him. Look at Proverbs chapter 31. Look at Proverbs chapter 31. You know, here's another good one. Ask for help. You know, maybe, look, your life is gonna be, look, your life, ladies, if you marry somebody that is not gonna lead properly according to the Bible, your life will definitely be harder. There's no doubt about that. And I'm sorry about that, but that's the way it's gonna be. So look, you may have to do more things yourself. You know, you might have to, you know, pick up that screwdriver and fix that door yourself. Let me tell you something. Just be quiet about it. Pick up the screwdriver. Watch a YouTube video and try to fix it yourself. Let me tell you something. If I see my wife walking around the house with tools, something has gone horribly wrong. That is gonna spur me into action. I'm gonna be like, look, because what's that gonna, what is that gonna do? It's gonna hit my conscience. You know that? Because my conscience is gonna be telling me I should be doing that. I should be providing. My wife shouldn't be, you know, pulling the dishwasher out and replacing pulleys. You know, I mean, my conscience is gonna hit me. But your life just might be harder. Look at Proverbs 31. What you shouldn't do is what we talked about this morning. You shouldn't go and just complain about your husband to a bunch of your friends or on Facebook or whatever. This is like the most horrible thing ever. To go and become a tail bearer against your own husband or against your wife, for that matter. Both are just terribly wicked, evil things to do. Look at Proverbs 31. Look at verse number 11. You know, we're talking about the virtuous woman here. You know, this woman is a virtuous woman. Look at verse number 11. It says, the heart of her husband. This woman is a hardworking woman. She's a godly woman. She's taking care of her family. She's teaching the children. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. And look at this. This is the woman who's talking trash about her husband to other people all the time. Look at this man's wife. She will do him good and not evil all the days of his life. This woman will just, she will just do him good no matter what. It didn't say like, if he does all the right things to her. It's like, no, she's a virtuous woman. She's gonna do him good. She's gonna be a help to him. Encourage him. There's positive ways to encourage, to ask if he needs help to do things and be a positive influence without harassing and being contentious and being angry. What about this? What about spiritually? You say, well, I don't have a husband that's even saved or he's not a spiritual leader. He knows nothing about the Bible and I have questions. Well, guess what? We already talked about this. There's all kinds of ladies in the church that'll be able to answer your questions. You know, not only have a pastor, but you have a pastor's wife. Many times, my wife will come to me and she will say so and so had a question and I was going to, and look, my wife knows the Bible inside and out backwards and forwards. But she'll come to me as the pastor of the church and she'll say so and so had a question about this doctrine in the Bible and I was going to tell her this, just wanted to run that by you to make sure that in 99.99999% of the time, I'm like, exactly. That's all it takes. So you have other resources. You have other resources. And again, be encouraging and this is where that spiritual life comes in. As he sees you going to church, as he sees you living this spiritual life, that is going to hit that conscience that God has given him, all right? And look, as far as engaging like if he's, the leader is engaging in wicked things and this could be any kind of leader. The leader's engaging in wicked things and wants to get you involved in wicked evil things like, look, you're not, the Bible says in Ephesians 5.22, wives obey your husbands as unto the Lord. The Bible always puts that in. In Ephesians 6.1, it says, children obey your parents unto the Lord. The Bible always puts that caveat in there that, look, your husband can't encourage you to sin. She is subject to the higher powers, which is always God at the top. So your husband can't, you know, hey honey, you know, I'm lazy and I don't want to work. You know, you're going to help me go rob this bank and you're going to drive the car. You know, a wife is completely, you know, not going to do that. I'm not going to sin. Look, this goes for bosses. You know, some boss that wants you to do something unethical or illegal or whatever, I've had this happen a few times to me in the last 23 years. Some boss comes up to me and is like, hey, I want you to, you know, put your stamp on that letter right there and I'm just like, yeah, you know, no. I'm not going to do that. Only I'm not disrespectful. He's like, why aren't you going to do that? I'm like, well, you know, I don't agree with what it says and I didn't write it, so no. I'm not disrespectful. Just you don't have, no one can encourage you to sin. That is not ever what God's hierarchy of leadership is about because God's always at the top. And again, I mean, even if a husband is speaking things that he shouldn't speak or even a leader is speaking things that he shouldn't speak. Say you have somebody at work that's maybe above you and is constantly coming to you and wanting to engage in conversation about other people. You know what he's trying to do? He's trying to draw you into sin. He's trying to, he's being a tail bearer and he's trying to make you a sinner too. And you know what all you have to do? Silence speaks volumes. Just don't say anything. Or you could just say, I'm not comfortable talking about that. But in the case of a wife who's got a husband that's saying things that she doesn't think that are correct or anything, it's not to chastise him and get angry with him and be contentious with him because why, because you're gonna destroy the relationship. That's why. Just let your chaste conversation speak for itself. And many times that chaste conversation is just gonna be silence. I've found, look, I have found in my life, the older I get, I was not good at this when I was in my 20s. But I have found that many times with conversation, if you're in a room with people, whether it be work people, church people, whatever, and you just don't really know what to say that it's best just to not say anything. Silence is a good thing. More people should be silent. Here's another one. Here's another one that you could do. So you don't have to engage and encourage him. Let him see your spiritual life. But here's another one, pray for him. Did you know that prayer works? Pray for a leader in your life. If you're a wife that is saved and you have a husband that is not saved, pray that he would be saved. Pray that God would soften his heart and that he would be saved. So look, the best chance, the best plan A, the best plan A, folks, is to follow the Bible. But God always has ways out for us. And I'm not saying, look, plan A is always the best. Plan B is a solution, but it's not as good as planning. It's the same thing with plan C and plan D and plan E and the whole way down. But just remember, with these doctrines that God is teaching to the followers, to the wives especially that we talked about tonight, this is a long game here. This isn't something where I'm gonna try it for two days and see if it works. This is a long game. The few cases that I know where women have really acted properly towards their husbands in this case, husbands that were not leading properly, that actually worked and now the husband is saved and he's leading his family like he was supposed to do, it took many years for that to happen. Many years of prayer, of chase conversation, and of a spiritual life. So just follow what the Bible says and remember that no matter what the other person acts like in our lives, and it could be marriages, it could be workplaces, it could be friendships, it could be whatever, just remember that our wheelhouse is always our wheelhouse. And to jump outside that wheelhouse is really to say that we know better than God is really what that is. So leaders that won't lead shouldn't affect how the followers follow is really the conclusion here. You know, the Bible's very clear about that. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.