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If I was a bear, I'd hole up in a tree. You're a bear, it might be a good idea. It's hunting season. Just look at the smell settling on the windowpane. We'll throw another log in the fire and have a fine afternoon. We will? Just you and me. Well, gosh, Aunt, I plan to go to the movies with Piggy and H.H. Who's H.H.? Hole in the head. Hole in the head? What a name. Well, his name is Humphrey Higginham, but he'd rather be called hole in the head. Well, anyway, you don't want to go to the movies this afternoon, Leroy. Haven't you any appreciation of home and family? Well, sure, but... Think of the fun there is in just sitting, staring into the fire. Oh, sure. It's the holiday season, nearly Thanksgiving. In a cold snowy day like this, it might be well to read Pilgrim's Progress. Oh, brother. It's very evident you don't want to stay with your old uncle. Aunt, I'm surprised you haven't got a date. A date? Miss Henshaw, the school principal is probably as lonesome as you are. You and I thought just you and I. It's a fine afternoon for you and Miss Henshaw to sit on the couch in front of the fire. You can read Pilgrim's Progress. Well, we might not do that. Yeah, I mean, we've both read it. Why don't I call Irene? Well, I wouldn't if your heart isn't in it. Maybe I should stay with you. No, Leroy, I don't want you to give up your friends in your movie. You don't think about me. Oh, I can't help thinking about you. Wouldn't it be right for me to go off and practically force you to spend the afternoon with Miss Henshaw? Alone. Leroy, you said you were going to a movie, now go. Okay. Is it all right with you if I go with the kids for the drive-in after the movie? Fine. In that case, I might just ask Miss Henshaw to stay for dinner. Sure, live it up, Bob. No, no, I'm just interested in spending a quiet afternoon and evening. Yes, yes. Birdie. Yes, excuse me. Leroy won't be here for dinner. No, sir. So I thought I'd invite Miss Henshaw over. Oh, yes, sir. Could we have something a little extra special? Yes, sir, just leave it to Birdie. Good. Birdie, I like to count, sir, if the dinner, put on some Bob music and make herself discreetly scarce. You're wonderful, Birdie. Yeah, I'd better phone Irene and tell her what's cooking. Yes. Yes, sir. The afternoon is beginning to shape up. This is Throckmorton. How are you, Throckmorton? Great. And I have a great idea. Oh? There's a big fire in the fireplace here, and Birdie's preparing something extra special for dinner. How would you like to share the day with me? I'd love to, but I'm busy. No. What does he look like? Long lashes. He's that short? He's concerned, of course. I've been promising for weeks to drive out to her father's farm with her. Well, you've been promising for weeks. Couldn't you postpone it another week? Yes, we're going for some cranberries. You're going to pick cranberries today? Yeah, Irene, it's cold outside. I know. You'll be warm here by the fire. I know. Popcorn? Tell her about Pilgrim's strawberry! Quietly, Roe. How about it, Irene? I'm really terribly sorry, Throckmorton, but Miss Gunther won't drive out there alone, and I can't disappoint her. Well... Won't you invite me another time? Of course, anytime at all. It is going to be a dull afternoon for me, here all alone. Well, have fun with the cranberries. Goodbye, Irene. Good to have you, huh? All right, Leeroy. But I'm not going to stay here alone if Irene can't come. I'll invite that cute little travel agent, May Kelly. Miss Kelly? Hey, now, I think I'll stay home. No, you won't, young man. Okay, huh? That boy's growing up too fast. I won't take any chances on May turning me down. He'll be pretty hard for her to say no if I come to her door and say, hey, the snow's getting a little deep. Yeah, I'll get May and hurry back home. And then let it snow. We might even get snowed in. I'll be right there, Joe. Joe? She must be expecting somebody else. I keep you waiting. I did Throckmorton. Hello, May. I was expecting Joe. No. Come in, you silly boy. Well, I don't know if I should, with Joe coming. We're going skiing. Skiing? I was lacing my boots. That's why I couldn't enter the door. Well, I thought we might spend the afternoon and evening at my house by the fire. The birdie's preparing a big dinner for us. Really? Throckmorton, I didn't know about this. I didn't know about Joe either. Oh, Joe's just one of the boys. One of the boys? Yes, one of our skiing group. The same car goes up to the snow every winter. Well, I didn't know you were sliding down hills with fellows I don't even know. But Throckmorton, you have other dates. May, you're trying to change the subject. I came over here feeling sure I could count on you. You planned all this just for me. And if you don't come, I'll be sitting by the fire all alone. You really want me to come, don't you? You're sweet to ask me, and I wish I could. But while you're sitting by the fire alone, I want to give you something to think about. Oh? I'll think about that kiss all winter. He was telling May I asked Irene over first. She never would have kissed me on the cheek. That May is quite a girl. I don't know. Hello, Leroy. Haven't you gone to the movie yet? I'm just on my way to meet Piggy and hold on the head. Miss Kelly can't make it either. Huh, Frank? To the movies, young man. Okay, so... Lonely Hearts Club. Well, if I can't have one of my girlfriends, I wonder if Pee-Vee can come over here. Hello, Pee-Vee. Oh, Mr. Guernsey. Yeah, quite a busty day. Yeah. The weather always lets you know when it's close to Thanksgiving. Yeah, it looks like we're close to rounds and days. What? You have a red cupid's bow on your cheek. Oh, glad Leroy didn't see that. I thought all the girls these days used lipstick that was smear-proof. I see you don't get kissed by many girls. Oh, right, Pee-Vee. See somebody else on your train? No, it was somebody going on skis. Give you a cut your cheek. Oh, right, Pee-Vee. See somebody else on your train? No, it was somebody going on skis. Give you a cut your cheek. Did she pass? Let's not get too curious, Pee-Vee. There. Yeah, I wiped it off. Well, I'm not curious, but Mrs. Pee-Vee won't know all about it. She's visiting her mother and once she gets home, she won't know all the news. Say, you are batching this week, aren't you? Yeah, just me and the parent. I do the cooking, he does the curry setting. Oh? He says, Mr. Pee-Vee, do this, Mr. Pee-Vee, do that. Who do you think he is? Pee-Vee, how would you like to come over to my house for dinner tonight? Yeah, I am getting a little tired of eating crackers with the parents. You and I, George, Bertie is cooking a big dinner. There will be nobody there to eat it but you and me. At what time do you close the store? On Sundays, I usually close around two o'clock. You all come over as soon as you close up. I've got the whole day planned. You're doing all this for me? Who else? It's a fine day for good friends to be together. Yeah, I always like to get friendly with Bertie's dinner. You're very nice of me. Don't mention it. What are friends for? Well, they're buying money from me. You do you want to get me over there to buy some money, do you? Pee-Vee, how can you say that? You were my closest friend. Yeah, so close you wouldn't get in. Oh my goodness. Hurry over, Pee-Vee. I bought that for you. You can go ahead with the dinner plans. Are they all coming over? No, I got a friendly neighborhood drugist. Come again? Mr. Pee-Vee is going to be our guest. Oh yes. Ran out of girls' ass, huh? Well, Miss Kelly had a date to go skiing. Yes. I'm sorry, Miss guilty. What's there to be sorry about? Mr. Pee-Vee and I'll have a fine day together. I'm not the kind of fellow who has to spend all his time with good-looking girls. No, sir. Actually, there's no greater enjoyment than getting together with an old and true friend. Talking man talk. Yes. You can play pinocchio, talk politics, smoke cigars. Yeah, I'm glad it turned out this way. Want me to answer the phone? Yeah, I'll take it, buddy. Hello? Dr. Martin, do you know who this is? Oh, hello, Grace. Oh. Who's Grace? I didn't say Grace. I thought you were some other place. Ski. Ski. What happened to Joe and skiing? Well, it snowed so hard, the skiing party was called off. Is that fire still burning? May you ski right over. Things worked out so important. Now we have all given. Yeah. Goodbye. Right, George, she's coming, Bernie. Yes. Well, what you gonna do about Mr. Pee-Vee? You know, I did tell him this dinner was planned just for him. You know, I'll have to call and explain. Yes, but just say sorry, Mr. Pee-Vee, but instead of holding pinocchio hands, I'd rather hold hands with Miss Kelly. So I won't say that. You, what will I say? 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But you can order as many pair as you want for only 75 cents and a yellow end flap from a package of Crafts Margarine for each pair ordered. You have a choice of two popular shades, and either a dark seam or a self-color seam. Complete instructions for ordering are given inside every package of Crafts Parquet Margarine, the delicious margarine that spreads smoothly even when ice cold. You can start building a luxurious wardrobe of nylon stockings at half price tomorrow when you buy Parquet. Parquet Margarine made by Crafts. A popper which says, if you don't want somebody to come to dinner, don't invite them. The great Gildesley wanted one of his girlfriends, but when this didn't work out, he invited his old friend Peavey. Now that his girlfriend could come to dinner, how does he get rid of an old friend? Yeah, I was just too lavish with my invitations, Bertie. Yes, sir. I'm too big hearted. Of course, I got enough deals for three. No, that's not the point. I asked Miss Kelly before I asked Peavey right now to phone Peavey right now and save him the trip over. He's a drugist. He should know he shouldn't come out on a cold day like this anyway. He never should have accepted my invitation. No, sir. Well, George, I don't want anything to interfere with my date with Miss Kelly. I've planned the afternoon too well. And too often. He doesn't answer. You know? Yeah, but he's already closed. He's probably on his way over. Well, the way to get out of this is to put a note on the door. I'll just write it on this phone pad. What are you going to say? Needle? No. I'll just say, sorry, Peavey. My plans have changed. We'll explain later. Yeah, Peavey will read this and think there's nobody home. Yes, sir. It is the best way to handle it, Birdie. Better than trying to explain it to him. Yes, sir. I'll use this thumbtack we hang the Christmas tree on every year. Yeah, that does it. Sometimes, Birdie, you have to go to Grape Link to protect the friendship. You sure go out of your way to do that, all right. Hey, he's just in time. Look out the window, Birdie. He's rounding the corner. Well, Birdie, better get in the kitchen. There won't be any dental for your guests. Here he comes up on the porch. He's at the door. He must be reading the note now. Why is he ringing the doorbell after I left him that note? Peavey's getting a little pushy. And now that I've written the note, I can't answer the door. It looks if I didn't want it. Yes, Birdie. I saw that note you wrote blow across the driveway out back. Oh, my goodness. Then he didn't see it. Well, I mean, this is so deep. I'll just have to wait for him to go away. It's too bad, Mr. Peavey can't be with us. Yeah. We still can see three. Yeah, I know. Plenty of food. All right, Birdie. Food's there, Birdie. Yeah, it's too late. I'm afraid Peavey's gone. I'll sneak a peek out the door. Boo. I thought you'd gone. I'll put it in another part of the house. Yeah, I think he's been busy all right. Hello, Miss Peavey. Let me take your coat and hat. Yeah, maybe Peavey won't want to take office coat and hat. I'm not going to eat with my hat on. Yes. Well, Peavey, we're good enough friends for me to tell you. I've invited Miss Kelly over. You don't say. Well, I'm glad she can join us. I've always been fond of Miss Kelly. But I invited me before I asked you. And ladies first, I always say. Well, I thought I'd mention it because I didn't know how you'd feel about sticking around under the circumstances. I wouldn't want you to feel at two's company and three's a crowd. I won't feel crowded with Miss Kelly around. I thought I would happen the first picture. I just come out to get some popcorn. Country for cranberries. That day, Miss Gunther called it off. Does Uncle know that? No. Why don't you go over home? Well, I had to turn down his invitation once. I can't go over now and say let's eat. But I'm home all alone. He may tickle the desk to see you, Miss Henshaw. You think he would? Oh, sure. He planned the whole day for you. He just moped around the house with nobody to talk to. Well, you say they shoot five men in that picture? Yeah. I think I will go spend a quiet evening with Throck Morton. Have a day like this, Mr. Gunther. Well, I thought I did. Here's a holiday nut bowl if you gentlemen care to crack some walnuts and nibble while you're waiting for Miss Kelly. Yes, thank you, Bertie. Miss Peabody, I forgot to ask you how Miss Peabody is. Oh, she's enjoying her visit with her mother, Bertie. That's nice. I had a letter from Miss Peabody just the other day. Yeah, perhaps you'd like to go home and spend the afternoon answering your letter. There wasn't much to answer. She just said, hello, Miss Peabody. Give my love to the parrot. If you gentlemen want anything, just call Bertie. Thank you, Bertie. Yeah, about the parrot, Peabody. If you feel like going home and feeding him at any time, feel free to run right along. He's been fed. What a difficult guest. Miss Kelly, if you want to get it, you want me to get it. Miss Kelly, I'll get it. Never mind, Peabody. I'll go, Bertie. Yes, sir. Well, step in, may. Oh, it's nice and warm in here. You bet. Let me take your wraps. Thank you. Is that Mr. Peabody? Yeah, Peabody's in the parlor. Hello, Miss Kelly. Well, how are you, Mr. Peabody? Well, it's a bit of a little waiting for the fun to start. May, it looks like Peabody's going to stay for dinner. Oh? Well, Mr. Goldeslee was nice enough to ask me, at least I can do it, stay. I think that's wonderful. Thank you. Now I have an attractive man on each arm. Yes, yes. Well, what do we do before dinner, boys? Well, I guess you wouldn't be interested in a pineapple. That's all Peabody knows how to play. That's what you think. How about spitting a bottle? Oh, Mr. Peabody, I didn't realize you were so much fun. I'm a live wearer, I'm here to tell you. You're just used to sticking to much like Mr. Goldeslee. Why did I ever invite you? Mr. Peabody, you're priceless. Do you mind if I sit here by you? I'd be delighted. I'm about as popular as a porcupine. Excuse me, folks. I wanted if one of you strong men would come back in the kitchen and open fruit jar for me. You bet, Peabody. Well, if it takes you strong, man, I guess I'd better do it. Excuse me, Miss Kelly. Hurry back, Mr. Peabody. Very well. May. What is it, Trockmorton? Now that Peabody's out of the room, I want you to know I only asked him after you said you couldn't come. Oh, it's quite all right. No, it isn't. I wanted to be just we two, you and me. I'm just glad I'm the only girl. Oh, I hope you don't think I'd ask another girl with you here. You want me to answer that? Well, Peabody. Anything to keep him busy. Well, hello, Miss Henshaw. Mr. Peabody. Irene? Who's Irene? What a surprise to see you here. Yeah, you were surprised, too. Hello? I didn't go to the country for cranberries after all. Trockmorton, who is this cranberry queen? Well, to commit Irene, I want you to meet someone. Oh, I just... Oh, I just know you have company. You're more than Marian. Miss Henshaw, I want you to meet Miss Kelly. Irene May. Hello, May. How do you do? I wouldn't have come, Trockmorton, but I saw Leroy, and he said you were home all alone. Well, I... He wishes he was. I suppose I should have called, but since you invited me earlier... He invited me earlier, too. Of course. After I couldn't come, I might have realized you'd probably call somebody else. I'm sure he called you after he left my place. I was going skiing. Really? Too bad he didn't. The drifts are so deep. I'm sure I was the last one to be called when I was the first to answer. A man doesn't like to be lonesome on a day like this. Oh, this was just insurance, I suppose. Yes, but Trockmorton took out so many policies. And let's make the best of it, girl. Yeah, that's the spirit TV. Help me out. You know, it does have its amusing aspects. May, did Trockmorton tell you he'd planned this just for you? No, I wouldn't. Oh, yes! The fire, the dinner. He even ordered the snow. Well, I admit this is a little embarrassing, but I'm glad to have you all. May, he told me if I didn't come, he'd be sitting by the fire all alone. That's exactly what the big lug told me. He told me that, too, but I'm big-hearted. I forgive him. Oh, naturally we forgive him. We consider the source. They'd really tear into me if Pee-Pee wasn't here. Will you answer the phone, buddy? I'm right here. Did you invite another girl, Trockmorton? No, no, indeed. But still please, resident. Yes, ma'am, he's here. Uh-oh. Just a minute, I'll tell him. Mrs. Pee-Pee, Mrs. Pee-Pee got home. She did? Heavens to Betsy. Shall I tell her you're over here with Mr. Gillespie and the girls? Where's he? No, tell her I'll be right home. Leave me. You can't leave me in this situation. No, no, I wouldn't say that. Once again in just 30 seconds. Next time you're shopping, why don't you pick up a pound of Kraft's Parquet Margarine? On the package you'll see a truly remarkable offer. A chance to get famous powers model nylon stockings at half price. Their 51-gauge, 15-genere nylons and guaranteed first quality. And you could get them for just 75 cents with the yellow end flap from a Parquet package. Get Parquet tomorrow. The delicious margarine that spreads smoothly even when ice cold. Kraft's Parquet Margarine. Go out for dinner at the same time, Mom. I'll see you here, young man. You were partly responsible. Me? You were the one who told Ms. Henshaw I was home. I took a lot of doing to make up with her. Well, guys, how did I know Ms. Kelly was here? Well, from now on, don't commit me. Don't tell them I have a date. Don't tell them I'm home. Don't tell them anything. Don't get it on. Yeah, you remember that, Leroy. Oh, sure. It's important. Hello? Leroy, this is Ms. Henshaw. Yes, ma'am? Hereafter, don't tell the girls anything. What's your uncle thinking, Ms. Henshaw? Ms. Henshaw, Leroy, give me that phone. Good night, folks. A great show to see was played by William Waterwood. Included in the cast are Walter Dutley, Kathy Lewis, Lillie Randolph, and Jane Goodnight from the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gilderslee. Delicious cold cuts for lunch and or supper make a welcome change of pace from the hot meals you've been serving. Easy to fix, too, but here's a tip. Be sure there's delicious Kraft prepared mustard on the table. Because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard. Mild Kraft mustard, so smooth and delicately spiced. And Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added to give it extra zip. Keep both kinds on hand for different tastes. Next time, get Kraft prepared mustard. Now play You Bet Your Life with Groucho on the NBC Radio Network.