 Should you rebel against your traditional old school thinking Asian parents? Because they might be inadvertently holding you back. Yeah, this is a viral Reddit post. It says, doesn't that old Asian mindset a focus on your studies first and worry about women later lead to exploitation? Long story short, this guy's 21 years old. He grew up, I believe, with a white step dad, a Vietnamese American mom. And he's basically saying, you know, growing up, I got to live the American life. My mom told me to go out and date Mexican girls, black girls, white girls when I was 15 years old. However, I have cousins that are typical Asian shut-ins. They're never allowed to leave the house. All they do is play video games all day and study and go to school all the time. I tried to get them to rebel, but he is just so scared of his parents. Basically, there's he's saying that his cousin's life is going to be ruined and he's very frustrated by it. Yeah, so I guess the question is, should is there some level of rebellion that you should have against your parents for the sake of your own self development? You know, and maybe particularly as a man. So we're going to go through it. We've got the comment section, please hit that like button and check out other episodes of the hot pot boys. But one thing that is, you know, went through its own self development is small ass sauce guys. It took 11 iterations to nail this recipe. We're very proud of it. Check it out, smallass sauce.com. I mean, I think to start off, it's difficult for him to judge his cousin's life, right? Because he grew up with the white step dad. His mom is Vietnamese American because I believe his mom was even born in America. He's getting essentially almost like a white American upbringing, right? Right. I mean, if you tell me that a Vietnamese kid got a little bit more looser chains on him and his, you know, like that does sound. I guess it makes more sense, you know, but I will say this right off the bat and I don't know much about this guy and the way he wrote this article. I can tell he's probably not a straight A student, you know, based on the grammar, but regardless of that fact, I would say that oftentimes traditional Asian parents and it can be a Vietnamese family. I think there are Filipino families that as much as we typify Filipinos families as being more free, there are some very strict ones still. I would say that there is like a healthy rebellion that you need to have because like life should not be that suffocating when you're young. You know what I mean? So like you, there has to be some type of balance. Right, right. I mean, I guess he's very frustrated for his cousins and he doesn't want his cousins to get high paid paying like computer coder jobs or computer programmer jobs in the future and then get exploited by the first girl that shows interest in them in their entire life. Right, because he's saying that he's going to have all this dating experience, right? So he's going to understand women a lot better, but his cousins who are nerdy that have problem will like never talk to a woman up until they have a job. Right. These are video game shut-ins. Yeah. Then maybe the woman tries to take advantage of them or something. I mean, it's kind of a funny, a concern to have, but I get what he's saying. Yeah. I mean, but like you said, the spelling, the grammar, the syntax, not very advanced. Clearly this guy probably did not focus a lot on academics and that's it. Hey, but maybe he lives a good life. Like I'm not trying to judge him and I'm not in any way saying that his nerdy shut-in cousins are going to live a better life than him. I actually don't know if that's true, but you have to understand that in a big family dynamic, his uncles might be looking at him as an example of what he doesn't want his kids to be. So his uncle might be like, oh, man, you know, I'm going to raise my kids so strict, man. He's going to, Johnny is going to stay in and study. And you know, he don't want to be like Dylan. Yeah, I don't want him to be like Dylan. Dylan's dating around. He's not focused, you know. Let's get into the comments section. Somebody said, Law, your parents are essentially just American. Their Asian heritage isn't part of their subconscious. Their subconscious is American and they think 100% in English internally. Rebelling against American parents is way easier than rebelling against Asian parents. So he was basically judging the guy saying like, yeah, you rebelled against your parents, but that's almost like expected and rebelling against American parents is not that big of a deal. It is true. If you rebelled against some Asian parents, that could be like sacrilegious. The difficulty of the rebellion depends on how oppressive the regime is. So if rebelling in America, which is absolutely a pretty free country, right? Access to a lot of things in America. Rebelling in America is actually not that hard, guys. Being rebellious in Singapore or China is going to be a little bit different. You're saying in a more authoritarian system. Yeah. So, yeah, in a way, it's true that rebelling against Americanized parents, is it really, is it really rebelling? They might like it. Yeah. This guy said, but it really pays off if you do rebella and succeeded. Yeah. There's also that downside where you don't succeed. So I think, again, there needs to be a healthy rebellion. If I'm a parent, I'm maybe focusing on studies, but I'm also going to let my kid do sports because he's got to be in some other type of social physical systems. Do you think a lot of kids want to rebel or they have that sense inside of them but it just cannot transcend the other pressures? Like they all have that feeling, but then the threshold is here and it's just not reaching critical mass. I mean, I think a lot of kids with quote-unquote oppressive Asian parents to keep the kids inside and study all day, they want to break free from the tractor beam, but just because you want to break free from a tractor beam pulling you back to a ship, it doesn't mean that you will be able to. Dude, that's like if you pull like regular citizens, like middle class to upper, like regular middle class citizens in China, like, and you're like, hey, do you think like China is very like controlling and too authoritarian? They would be like, yeah, there are rules in China that you should not break, but I don't know. My life is fine here. You know what I mean? And there's going to be a range of reaction. Some people who left China are going to be like, I'm glad I left China. And then some people are staying in China. They're just like, yeah, it's cool. Like it's life. You know, like I'm not like, that's not how I process it. Right. Then they just turn on Fei Cheng. Well, somebody said, I'm on the younger side as well, and I have to think about this a bit from the stories. It really does help later in your 30s for dating to be financially well established and stable. So that advice to study hard does have its merit because obviously you can get a high paying job with a very stable income, possibly stack your assets, right? But somebody said, what's wrong with the Asian parents advice? Sometimes though, is that you should not be ignoring your social life. You should be dating throughout your teens and 20s because you'll need that experience. I'm sure none of us want to end up as a loser paying the bills for someone who doesn't even care about us. And then, yeah. So this guy was basically stressing balance, right? Yeah. And I think that it's tough because a lot of parents don't want their kids to get too deep in their social life because then they think, oh, I can't control them all. They're distracted, right? Hang out with friends all day. But then that's on you to set up the system because ultimately, you know, as an Asian guy in America, very few, very seldomly are people going to suck you into a social system. You're talking about highly dopamine more likely it's going to be a case where the Asian guy has to go out and seek a social life to develop those skills versus the danger is not that this Asian kid gets sucked into this crazy social life. Maybe if your daughter's a good-looking girl, more she's going to get more invites out. But you know what I'm saying? Like as for a nerdy guy. No, no, let's be clear here. It is different if you have a nerdy daughter but she does happen to be pretty. It's like she still will get some of that incoming mail. But as a guy, I almost like regardless of how you look, everything's going to have to be outgoing emails. Right, right. You have to go seek the social life. The pings, right? Somebody said that old-fashioned Asian parenting style is good for self-discipline but it can lead to suppressing basic human instincts far too much. It's funny how they get confused at why their children are having a hard time finding a spouse after 28 when they basically ban them from dating even in their early 20s. Yeah. I mean, like we said, guys, it goes both ways. I mean, somebody said, listen, in traditional Asian parents' minds, society is largely meritocratic which means studying hard to lead to a better life, including a better spouse if you have a better life. However, that's not necessarily how the game works anymore. In my opinion, studying hard could still pay off but it's not worthy of completely sacrificing social life and development such as dating. How much do you think this is true, Andrew? That the older parents, they're thinking that the world is one way but it's just becoming more and more divergent from their vision. Yeah, you just can't transfer the old Asian thinking directly to America, especially if you're raising a kid in America. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. I mean, other people were defending the old Asian mindset, Andrew, by saying that that is what contributes to ultimately high median income numbers. We're talking about on a macro statistical level. Someone said, yeah, your parents give good advice. Just get rich and be a sugar daddy. What's the point of dating anyways? You know who you like. Smart pretty women dating is just spending a few weeks or a month and trying to figure out the obvious. So this person's like, oh, what's the point of dating young? It's true. I don't think you should get caught up again, man. There's just this balance, man. Somewhere in high school, you need to start playing with like relationships, but you don't need to be deep in a relationship. Well, isn't that so important that you go to a good high school where there could be like, I guess a lot of kids trying to study hard and be social at the same time and be well rounded? Yeah. Yeah. Because otherwise, you know how it is, Andrew. When you go to some bad public schools, it's like you just got the nerds and then you got everybody else acting ratchet. Yeah. I'm at a 14. This guy said, parents who have this old Asian mindset in America are pretty much contributing to the rising in-cell epidemic. True or not? Kind of, yeah. I will say this. You know what's really interesting is different communities, they almost have like different downside outcomes, right? For example, in the Asian community, would you say that becoming a shut-in, you know, heavily video game centric quote-unquote in-cell? Like bachelor forever? Yeah, forever bachelor for Asian males. It is a probable downside outcome. If you're from a different neighborhood, jail possibly joining a gang, becoming addicted to drugs or selling drugs and then obviously dealing with law enforcement because of that, those are downside outcomes that are statistically probable in different communities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess a lot of people would look at the shut-in gamer in-spell and be like, oh, that's not the worst life because they're still a human. Maybe they have a job. They can get out of it. Might have some money in the bank, right? Yeah, yeah. And yeah, I guess depending on how you spend it, sure, but I think it's just often too much of an outcome that a lot of other Asian guys witness. And I think that it is true that if you try to eliminate that possibility, then there's going to be a possible out-downside outcome of something else that's going to happen. You're saying if you try to eliminate the in-sell downside possibility? Right, right. If everybody's too social, then it becomes like something else. You get new problems. You get different problems. Yeah, I mean, just different problems. There's just different problems. Somebody said it's just one reason why Asians are doing so abysmally in the West. I believe that this guy is referring to socially, by the way. Right, because I guess you'd say on a different level, economically and educationally, Asians are doing quite well. Right, right, right. But then socially, you want to rank it lower. Of course, Andrew, there was a bunch of people talking about this goes back to the dynastic imperial times all the way back to the Unix and who could get into, you know, the Forbidden City and all this stuff. I mean, this is like a bunch of stuff. I'll just pop up that comment. Ultimately, man, what can this guy do? Because it's not like when you're 21 and you see your cousin that's like 23 and they've been a shut in their whole life, but they get way better grades than you. They're much stronger academically than you, but they don't have any of the cool American life experiences that you have. You're very social. You've dated multiple women from different ethnicities that your cousins never even got a hug or a kiss, but they want one, but they just can't get it. Like, I guess what can you do? You're not the dad. Yeah, I mean, I just think Asian parents, Asian parenting and coaching needs to evolve and you just can't raise your kids like the boomers and the Gen X did. You know, I don't know what Gen X is, how old are they right now? But like, you just, the old school way does not work as much, you know, and you have to be a little bit more nuanced. Yeah, I think that, you know, I don't know if people retreat heavily into video games because it's just Asian culture or they're retreating into the deep depths of the video game world, whether, you know, we were talking about console gaming but more than likely PC gaming, like because of family pressure or is it just because it's like Asian culture? But I do see that as a place that it's difficult because you're not really going to develop IRL skills if you primarily spend your time in front of three different flat screens. Right, right. No, that's true. Unless you're building the next VR world, you know what I mean? And like we said, every community they have downside outcomes and you know this, it's just crazy that one of the most probable downside outcomes for the Asian community is just being a shut-in, especially for Asian guys. I don't know. Let me know what you guys think in the comment section below. What can this guy do? Should he encourage his cousins to rebel or should he just focus on his life and live in the best crazy, wild, unchained American life that he has because ultimately he's not that man's father. All right, everybody. Let us know in the comments down below and until next time, we out. Peace.