 I'm in, what is this here here, ring. Want to pop in. Been away this week, some of y'all know if you're new here, you don't know, but one of the things that I do is a mental coach for sports teams, professional sports teams and college sports teams and pro and college players. So this is something I've been doing since I was 26 years old, since 2010. And right now I'm working with one of the top college basketball teams, top five college basketball team in the division one level. And so I was away all week this week working with the team, working with the coaches, working with the GAs and the managers and doing little sessions and having some one-on-ones and now I'm back home and back to business until I fly out again next week at the end. I ain't been doing a lot of traveling here lately, but getting close to March Madness so trying to serve the best way I can. But wanting to pop on here won't be long, just about an hour. My wife cleaning up right now and stuff she was trying to do earlier today but my son forgot his cleat so she had to cut her stuff short to take him his cleats and so she finishing up right now. She's gonna mop in the floors in our room and so I couldn't go in there. So I'm like, I might as well go live and literally just walked in the house from soccer practice. So the day I got off the plane, got off the plane, drove straight to my son's school to pick up my seven-year-old and we drove straight to soccer practice, went to soccer practice, came home, I walked straight in the house, talked to my wife, talked to my older son, came straight in my office to do this here live and that folks is what I call work-life balance. And a lot of times people say it don't exist but we have to make it work for us the best way we can. So I wanted to pop on here and do a little Q and A and if you've been on here and you're in the bless tribe, if you notice the people in the bless tribe, one of the things that I do for the bless tribe is do Q and A's. I try to go, I would love to go weekly but sometimes I miss a week and this might be the second one this week, I don't know. But shout out to the moderators, I'll see Mama Tish in there. So if you don't know, if you have a question, you put the hashtag Q, put the hashtag Q in front of your question, one of the moderators gave me that idea and then that'll pop up. And for those of you in the bless business tribe, I'll be working on a video here this week and I'm getting ready to start doing monthly virtual seminars. So for those y'all in the bless business tribe, one of those a month, you'll have that uploaded to YouTube one a month because those virtual seminars will be $10 and up. And so being that you're in the bless business tribe for the $10 a month on YouTube, I'll put at least one in there a month for y'all. In these seminars, it'll be monthly virtual, like mastermind classes, some without Q and A is just a lesson and it's live, it's not recorded and then some with a Q and A. Camille, I'm glad you was able to make it. And you was able to make it. Glam Rocks put that in their hashtag Q before your questions. Now we ain't gonna be long now cause I'm kind of a little drained, been in travel. God bless you, Camille. Kept me out of fornication for over seven months. Now look at that. Now like the old praise reports, now that's good to see a praise report, you know, you don't always get to see that. For our coaching calls, the way as coaches call or do clients call us is they're an etiquette. Clients call you, I mean, you call the client, you call the client. So if you on my mentor.life, when a client signs up, when a client books you, they put in their phone number and their email address. So if you need to change the session, something comes up, you can email the client, but they give you their phone number. So you call the client on average. And you can have your Google voice number if you want to, or just use your regular number. Clients don't really mess with your number, you know. I've coached a lot of times from one phone and I don't have people, you know, bothering me. Certain age groups do, but most don't. Renee holds back member for two months. God bless you. New member, Crystal Small. Asia Baker, God bless you. Rhonda, welcome to the bless tribe. So y'all to be able to comment on here now that y'all members of the bless tribe. The bless tribe is really just, you know, is a way to support the channel. Sometimes you have topics that can't be monetized on YouTube. So the bless tribe kind of offsets that when trying to become a six-figure earner, did you set daily earning goals with your businesses? No, I didn't. You know, I kept track of it, but I didn't have daily earning goals. I tried to do a low pressure. You know, I just talked to my wife today. I was like, you know, I don't even want to post my, a flyer about my courses on Tony Gaston's Academy because I don't want to seem like a salesman. And she was like, you know, hey, it's the nature of the business. Ain't nobody going to be mad at you for promoting your courses. But that's just how I am. I just don't like selling. I don't like selling, selling, selling. So for me, I just try, my goal is to give value. Give value and I make you aware of what I have. And then if you feel that I've given you enough value, then you could go buy those things. So I don't really set sales goals because sometimes it can have you from a place of, you know, lack from a place of want, from a place of, you know, anxiety or something like that. So I try not to get too into that. And Caramel Kids, you could post Tony Gaston's Academy in there. So people who don't know about the Academy could get there on the anniversary of a woman's influence. Could you ask the queen if she could do a Q and A with you again? That's a good question. You know, I try to, I would like that. I would like that. But at the same time, I kind of, because she don't do this, you know, it's a lot of lessons, a lot of, it's a learning curve. And because we live in this society where everything go viral and all of that, you know, I don't even know if she would want to, but she would do it though. And that night, y'all had a lot of questions that night. I mean, it was a lot of questions and y'all was sending all them little super chats in there and everything. That was intense. How is it that the only reason I am single and unable to apply your teachings is because men do not approach me no matter where I go. I don't know what that is, LBS. They stare and follow me. It's extremely weird to me. You know, I think that's something that could be, I think that's something that you kind of have to work with a coach on. And it may be a coach, you know, a female coach versus a male coach could work with you on that because I feel like if, if you're never getting approached, it could be something outside feedback that you need. It could be that if you're in your head about it, so what you have to realize is our mind is so powerful. So when I say, hey, I'm shy, when I always say that to myself, it's gonna make me more shy. Okay, LBS is laughing, but serious. So I might as well LBS, Evil Pounds. See that, she been laughing, but serious on that one. And so when you, when you tell yourself, and I never get approached, I never get approached, I never get approached. Subconsciously, what happens is your countenance changes. Your countenance changes and when you go out, your face is saying, I never get approached, I never get approached, I never get approached. So instead of looking pleasant and attractive and approachable, you will look frustrated and down and in the dumps just because of what you've been telling yourself. So sometimes it's just something you got to switch up. Thank you for all you do just enough for some Popeyes. Zeal real God, bless you now. I'm gonna get a salad, I'm gonna get a salad with that, doesn't I? Feel like he may be husband, very guarded though. Suggested healing says he's trying how to handle. Move on and let him heal on his own. Good man, I feel him strong, emotional, tired though. You know, that's a tough situation. Here's the thing, when it comes to being with somebody who is healing, you have to ask yourself, are they hurting you? So if they're hurting you, then you gotta let him heal on his own. If he's not hurting you, but he's just guarded, then you could stay with him if it's not hurting you. And yet he knows what he has to do and he's working and he's growing because you can be that encourager. But that's what you have to look at and be able to say, okay, what is this costing me? Why does the side piece think she should get something after the guy passes away? Passes away, that's interesting, that's a real question. Well, I mean, I don't know, you know, that's human nature to feel entitled. That's all it is, that's human nature to feel entitled. She feel like she was his piece. She feel like she kept from stress off of him. She feel like he loved her. He had some feelings for her. I guess she feel like she put in some work and made some things happen. So, you know, she just feel entitled. That's humans though, humans feel entitled. That is very interesting though. My goodness. How to handle a guy that was never there during my, who wants to rekindle things and doesn't claim our daughter? Well, you have to look at and see, okay, has he grown? Has he grown? Has he changed? You know, people heal, people grow, people change. Part of that, you have to take it on yourself because you slept with him. So, in personal responsibility, you got to say this is the man I chose. This, that you got to look at it and say, that's the man you chose to sleep with. That's the man that you did not vet before sleeping with him. And so, what you got is what you chose. So, that's on the personal side of it. So, you have to look at, well, if I brought this child in with this man, I'm halfway responsible because I chose my child's other parent. And so, now, if he has changed and he has grown, you can't hold a pass against him when you got a child in place. If it was just you as an adult, you could kick, tell him to kick rocks and keep it moving. But if you have his child, and yeah, he don't claim her, but if he wanna make it work and he wanna, not make it work, but if he wanna rekindle, then that mean he getting ready to come back around and he wanna start claiming. So, you might need the, I recommend going on, Zina Mitchell, welcome to the Blessed Tribe. I recommend going on MyMentor.Life and clicking on the filter. When you click find a coach, then at the top, you'll see filter, click on filter, and you can pick the subject, co-parenting. And we got some co-parenting coaches on there that could really go in depth on that. BB God bless you. He says he's not living a fake life. He's living a double life. I know he's a grown boy, but do men really think there's a difference or just semantics? Well, he thinks it's a difference because he's saying that a fake life is if you don't know about the other life. But if you know about both lives, then it's not fake, it's just double. So that's what he means by that. Whereas, you know, it's out there. Lord, welcome to the blessed tribe. God bless you now. Make sure y'all put a hashtag Q in front of your question. Recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years for yelling slash cursing at me. He started therapy after the breakup and says he now has the tools to be better. Second chance. Well, that's a personal choice, of course, but what I will say is three years is a long time. So when somebody take a stupid pill three years in, they should already know you and know who you are and know where you stand and know what you're worth a year in. So three years in for him to take a stupid pill. That's a huge red flag, but you have to say, okay, is this the first time you had to let him go? Then it could be he got complacent, he wanted to try you, he wanted to see what he could get away with. You checked him, you broke up with him, let him know this or no go. So now when a guy knows that that's a no go, then that means going forward, he could be the perfect guy. When you cut him for something, you know, that small. And when I say that small, I mean, in comparison to physical cheating, physical dishear, yelling and cursing would be, you know, pale in comparison. So when you check somebody for the lesser offense, it let them know that none of the greater offenses or different offenses, if it's not greater in your mind, can they get away with, that's how you teach somebody how to treat you. And so I would say a second chance would not be the end of the world. J.M. God bless you, God bless. I met a guy on a few weeks, a few talks later, we talked to go on a date. I was late to the date and he left thinking I wasn't going. Since he left, I haven't reached out. He called after he left, but my pride got to me. Well, you was in the wrong for that. You know, you were 100% in the wrong for that and you deserve to get left on that because when it's come to somebody's time, you showing up late mean you don't respect his time. And so he had every right to leave, I would have left. And then not only did he leave, you know, he called after he left. So it wasn't like he just got up and left. So now, so you got to look at how you got the audacity to get an ego when you had him waiting on you. Like you should have answered that phone so fast. Hello, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I was late. So sorry about that. You know, I just, I went to putting the makeup on and it just wouldn't blend right. And I had flashback on the picture on the selfie I took. So I had to wash it off and redo it. You know, this track went to twisting. I messed scratch my head and my track came out a little bit, I had to redo that. And so you should have been apologizing to him for wasting his time. So what that really means is you not ready for a relationship. And then two, you shouldn't be on or out. So you're going to out that requires you to be the thirst, the thirsty one. You got to go after him. Then you go on a date and you got him waiting. Then he called to see like, make sure you ain't died in a car crash. And then you don't answer the phone cause your ego. And though the kind of question right there that have these men in the dark snapping. Come on now, y'all got to do better. Y'all got to do better. Y'all be giving these men in the dark a license to snap. Jasmine J. God bless you. When y'all go to saying something like that. Lord God bless you now. How can we keep hope alive in dating in these times? Your hope got to be within and not without. So as long as you working on you, so you keep hope by you making sure your mind in shape, making sure your body in shape, making sure your business, your career is in shape, your life is in shape. And that right there is what's going to give you your hope. Because a lot of times the world is just a reflection of the value that we bring to it. What we see in the world is a reflection of our value. And I heard it was Jim Rohn that said, if you want more value out of life, become more valuable to life. Charlotte, welcome to the blessed tribe. And so that's what I had to realize, like look at, if you see, I'm gonna use myself for example, because I'm living with me, but I get on here and I try to bring value. I try to help people out in their life. I try to give an outside perspective. And every day I'm showing up doing a video, doing a Q and A, trying to help people, trying to bring value, trying to give an unbiased opinion from the outside looking in. And that helps a lot of people. So then what does the world do in return for me? Blesses me through blessings like this right here, through super chats, through YouTube ad revenue, through core sales, through book sales. So the value I give to the world, the value then is returned to me. So a lot of times when you're sitting and you're waiting, you're not working. So don't just hope and wait, hope and work, faith with work. And then when you do that, your options are going to increase and you're going to start to see more men pop out the woodworks. Because of how you taking care of yourself, how you presenting yourself and all of those things. Can a straight man be friends with an, I mean, you can do anything you want to do. And I recently heard a guy talking about that, saying that he got friends that's, guys that's into that. Me personally, I could not, because if I know this man, like I'm a little, Ooty hole of a man, I wouldn't be able to be his friend, just like I can't be a woman friend. So I don't have a friend who could be sexually attracted to me. So any woman I talk to, she is a client. Any man I talk to, if he liked me and he would have to be a client, but I can't be friends with somebody who could be actually attracted to me. And so I personally, and that don't mean that I'm not friendly. I'm a friendly guy now. I meet guys like that, that's like that. Hey, what's up with you? Yeah, hey, uh-huh, yeah. Hey, uh-huh, keep your head up now, boy. Hey, keep going now, yeah. All right, yeah. Okay, yeah, I'll tell you what I said. Hey, I don't know if it's not, but we're not gonna be hanging out because if he liked him a little Ooty hole, and I messed around, I got to bend down and pick something up and he ain't gonna be able to do it. Ain't gonna be able to do it because I'm a married man. So I don't want a man or a woman around me that could be attracted to me. And then they got to be living in torment and stress and worry because they got this attraction they didn't develop that they can't do nothing with. I don't want to be a hindrance to nobody. So me, myself personally, I really don't too much trust a man who his close friends is men who like men because that kind of let me know like, I know men terrible at just being platonic. So if a man hanging with a man who like men, it's like at some point in time, they probably gonna get them a little some men. And so, but that's just my take, and then people try to counsel you for your opinions, but that just honestly high because we all, especially men, is sexual beings. Women do better at being platonic, but men just not good at that. Xenogar, bless you. Son, dad talks about his failed relationships from dating sites over five in the last two months. Wants me to be okay letting our five year old around these women says I need to loosen grip. Okay, with solid relationship, not a revolving door, situation and feedback. Situation around son, feedback. I think you doing the right thing, but this is the thing. You got to ask yourself as a woman, you got to ask yourself as a woman are women prone to be nasty or disrespectful to the son or the son of a man they are dating. That's what you got to ask yourself. If you don't see that happen often and that really is not a thing, then you might have a firm grip for the wrong reason. Just out of unconscious jealousy or something like that. Now, if you know that, hey, if you say, hey, you're a woman, you know women and you know these women going to be putting too much salt in your son food. They're going to be flicking them in the air. They're going to be hiding the draws. They're going to be giving them a wedgie. They're going to be telling him that's why your daddy don't love you. And you need to call me mom, not your mom cause you over here. So when you over here call me mom, if you feel like that woman going to be doing that and doing a little stuff, being inappropriate with your son and daddy in front of your son and your son picking up on a little stuff, then by all means you got to make sure that you take care of yours, that you take care of yours. And your son daddy, Carlita, welcome to the blessed trial. Your son daddy know, he know better than that. He just trying to make you jealous too. So that's the other thing, he's trying to make you jealous. He just trying to, cause he shouldn't even be talking to you about his online relationships and to have five failings in the last two months. That's all him trying to make you jealous. He could talk his homeboy about that. You not his homeboy, you know, you not his friend, the mother of his child, you his ex, that's not even a conversation for you. So he being petty and trying to make you jealous and truth be told as a man, men are very protective over our children. He's not gonna have a woman around his child that he don't feel 100% like he done felt her spirit inside and out. Cause a man will take a life about that. You know, a man will take a life about that. And it's, it is different and women know that. Whereas men, men don't often fear women. Hey, welcome to the blessed tribe. Men don't often fear women. So with men, men will take and do some to your, because he don't fear you and he don't think you could check him. He don't think you could do nothing to him. Whereas a woman, she'll be more in fear of getting called out, getting called out or called by this man for doing some to his child, mistreating his child. And she know that a man will snap. She know a man will spaz out by that. Hey, Tosca TV, God bless you. I've been encountering men who are not yet divorced but separated on online dating outs, recent date. Gone about your business. You know, gone about your business. When you meet somebody like that, gone about your business. And reason being is, it ain't over till it's over. And so if you get in there and it ain't over, you in adultery and you getting in the way. Reality check, God bless you now. I used to be friendly with the guy who works at my gym. I stopped because he's not initiating more, move on. Yup, move on, move on. You ain't having that with him anyway. So it really ain't moving on. You know what I mean? And you still could be friendly. You don't have to, you shouldn't be being friendly for initiation. You should be being friendly because you friendly. So that's the thing too is like today, ladies to the women, what y'all got to do is y'all got to start getting y'all motives right. Because when y'all do this kind of stuff, y'all putting the battery in the back of the men in the dark on the podcast. So when the men, they come up, they watch this, they watch all this. So when they see y'all dangling carrots and y'all playing with men emotions and y'all showing up late on the date, then when the man called you to check on you, you got too much ego to answer his call when you had him sitting out there waiting on the date. That's what get the guys that's in the dark on the podcast lit up. That's what give them fire hot. So if we want men to be better and to be fair and to do right, women got to be better too. So that it can't, so you ain't got no argument. You see what I mean? So it take all of us being better. So the same way you don't want no man because he wants some, because what if you married and a man being nice and it's cause he wants some? You tell me, please may you ask your wife, what was the name and author of the parenting book you told us she read that was very helpful. You mentioned in one of your previous videos. That's in our parenting course. Reason why I ain't put that out there because she did a parenting course on tonigasinsacademy.com. So that's why I ain't put it cause I ain't want to be unfair to the people who took the course. How's the Jasmine? I can't answer that question for you just because I've never been content in singleness, you know, in the sense of you could love yourself. I give you some random advice, but I know it's YouTube is out here on a single journey and talking about self love. So I don't want to take from them and what they doing. You know, I met my wife when I was 21. Sorry about that. My thing had an unconnected on my internet. I go to the gym very often. Is that a good place to potentially meet my husband? I see men looking, but never approach. LOL, thanks for all you do, Tony. Yeah, it's hard to approach because it's a lot of memes. That they've been out there over the years of women saying they hate being approached at the gym. They hate when men approached them, you know, at the gym. So it's been a lot of that. So it's hard for guys to approach at the gym. So what you have to do honestly is you kind of got to get a gym that has a cafe in it. Or like my gym, I cancel my membership cause I ain't been in two years. I've been paying them people hundreds on dollars a month cause I got a gym at my house. So now my wife going up there cause they got better equipment than we got at the house. And so at our gym, we got a cafe. Love you buddy. So after working out, you go to cafe, get your smoothie, get your salad, get your sandwich. And then right across from the cafe is a business center, like a little area. About the same size of the cafe that you could sit in and get on your laptop. Cause see with the way men approach women, it's kind of just like a, you know, somebody, a hunter, he gonna watch you. He gonna watch you. He gonna read y'all hold on right quick. Let me see something. Let's see if this hip work now. Let me see. My thing was cutting out. Huron, can you hear me now? Huron, let me see if you can hear me now. You can hear me now. That's probably my raggedy in the neck. That old raggedy in the neck. It just be going to just go out sometime. It just out the blue. Raggedy in the neck. Just, you got the old spectrum. Spectrum similar check, raggedy in the neck. Paying all this money. Put it in the neck and just, just out the blue. Just be going out. Matter of fact, let me reset it. Sometimes you got to reset your in the neck, but I ain't gonna put it back on tonight. And while I'm playing, hoping my wife paid the bill. Every now and then, every now and then, my wife get to pay a bill. Had to bend a hand full of times. I'd be sitting here and be sitting in the dark. Go to cut the water on the brush, on the TV and act the water. Baby, you don't forgot to pay the bill. Oh, I thought I paid it. Obviously not. These people coming out here to this neighborhood, thinking we done went broke. You ain't paid the bill? Yeah. No, I ain't got that much money. It's just the technology, you know. So paying for it. The internet costing over probably $300, $400 a month. They just, it's better don't send me a check. Regularly in the neck. Let me see, I was answering a question. How long should we give a man to call after they start DMing us? Should we call him out or just move? Been chatting with the guy I used to see in passing from old high school for a week and ready to walk. Uh, you don't, don't, don't be so, you know, don't, don't be so impatient. You know, it's been a week. It's been a week. And today, people coming up missing. People coming up missing the day for moving too fast. So get to a place to where you okay? Chatting there for a little while. You can give that up to a month to be honest with you. You get that up to a month. Now, typically in the older days, I would have said, hey, if a guy like you, he gonna get that number right away. He gonna call you right away. But now today, you wanna get that thing a little time. Get it, get it by the month, up to a month. Give it up to a month so that way you have some time to get to know him. And because people coming up missing the day. So you got some time to get to know him and then he could reach on out to you. If a relationship, y'all gotta forgive him for getting a little too many questions now. These questions come on a little too fast. Lagara, God bless you. I met a guy on Friday, texted on Saturday and it was briefed with no real plans. Second day hadn't heard from him by 6.30 p.m. So I blocked him, thoughts. Well, you might've moved a little too fast on that one now. You might've moved a little too fast. So this is the thing, we switching gears right now in our world because we're in a technology age. So what you gotta realize is the guys today, they got a lot going on because it's everything at the fingertips. So they day trading, which that take complete attention. They trying to hustles, be an entrepreneur, start a business, they trying to build a brand, they trying to do all of this. So he wrote you the first day, he wrote you the second day but he wrote you at 6.30 p.m. he wrote you. So had he not wrote you at all for a week, two weeks, then that's like, okay, you playing game. But he wrote you, then wrote you. They were probably getting ready to pick up then you blocked them. So don't be so hasty. And then too what you have to understand is you don't wanna block somebody that has not done anything to you because that could be data. You could be learning from this person on how they date, on how they move. Because when you're gonna be out here, it's good to be able to learn from the dating scene. So when you see what this guy does, you don't get your hopes up, you don't get your feelings in it but you're getting a lesson from it. So that's what you have to use the situation for. Do you have Q and A for the blessed business tribe or may I ask you here? You can ask it here, Sheena. But no, the blessed business tribe, we do a video a week on their business video, sometimes I miss some weeks now. So yeah, you always, anytime you were able to be in here, blessed business tribe members, y'all can ask it here. And this, cause this ain't just for the blessed tribe, you know, so you a member too. And you a member at a higher level than the blessed tribe, you know, five times the amount of the blessed tribe. So you definitely ask any question you have in here and we'll be going back and forth as you'll see, as you see, most of the questions be relationship questions. How to help my hub make male friends and gain social maturity. He is a bit socially awkward. Let him be him. Let him be him. That ain't your son. So let him be him. Let him be socially awkward. Cause let me tell you, you got to be careful what you ask for. I used to always want my wife to express herself and be able to go back and forth in a conversation. And I, cause she'll shut down. She was shut down and she didn't wanna, you know, argue and not argue, but not even debate, not even have no conversation about what need to be worked on. She'll just shut down. She don't like to say, well, I need you to do this. I need you to do that. She'll shut down. And I remember you used to tell my daddy, daddy man, she just on talk. She just on express herself. She just on say nothing. And he says, son, be careful what you ask for. But he say, boy, you be done turning on a faucet. You can't turn off. He say, you better appreciate a woman who don't like to nag and argue and all of that. Ms. Toya, welcome to the blessed tribe. So I say that to say, be careful what you ask for because you be done got them out there and force him to go out there and get a social life and most men don't live right. So now he in a social life, now his friends got them in the script club. Now his friend putting them on the nasty movies. Now his friend getting them high, getting them drunk. When him being socially awkward and minding his own business, he could be more healthy and prone to a good relationship than being influenced by other men who might not be living right. Meta engineer recently divorced. Two kids call at 10 to 11 p.m. We talk for one hour for 13 days. Am I a virtually BC? I don't know what a BC is. Is he interested? Total talk time, 11.4 hours for 13 days. He out of town and ex move to the same city. Now I don't know if I thought engineers worked nine to five. So the one thing is 10 to 11 p.m. is a little interesting. Why he up that time of night talking to you? That's interesting. And then his ex moved to the same city and you didn't kept counting the exact hours, 11.4 hours in 13 days. Susta, you putting a little too much into that now. You putting a little too much stock into that. So yeah, you got to feel that one out but all the details you got in there you going to need a couple of seconds. Go on book your coach on my mentor's life. Not sure if my best friend has feelings for me. I think he does, but are there any sure signs to look out for? You will feel that. A woman's intuition is very, very keen. It's very strong. So if you feel like he got feelings for you, nine out of 10 times he does have feelings for you. And to be honest with you, it's really no such thing as a male friend. So you can have a male colleague, you can have a male associate, but unless the man like men, most men who friends with a woman got some kind of crush on them and will, you know, get it on down, get it on in if she let it go there. And every woman on the other coach that told them they had a male best friend, it wasn't long before she was like, oh, well we crossed the line. I told you that what he was waiting on. That pushed sports on to me at a young age. I became a stellar athlete, but lost my love for it after high school. It became hard to know who I am outside of sports. Still struggling with my identity at age 23. It's a good time to start, you know, investing in yourself, you know, do your little coaching, get on my mentor.life. We got coaching for $23, $25 an hour and start to talk through that, you know, talk through it. And if you lost the love for it after high school, it may be something else that could spin off from that. Help you, you may have a foundation in you that help athletes be affirmed outside of sports. You might have a foundation that caters to youth athletes, high school athletes, middle school athletes to help them find their other gifts. And y'all meet at the library once a week, twice a month, once a month. And you get the athletes in your program and they developing, they rapping, they singing, they dancing, they writing, they drawing, they architecture, they engineering or what have you. And so sometimes from our experience or our pain, it bursts our purpose. If a relationship, ay y'all we got about was 17 more minutes. If a relationship was intimate and the woman has a coming to Jesus awareness and stopped the intimacy, can the relationship survive 1.5 years with engagement? Anything is possible. Is it probable? Anything is possible, but is it probable? You never know. So it just depends on this going to expose a weak bond. If y'all got a weak bond, that weak bond will be exposed. But anything is possible. And that's what you have to realize. It's one thing I get tired of and people want to show up on here when I'm getting ready to go. Oh, all right, let me get on over that. Is it possible to be vulnerable without seeming weak? The definition of vulnerability is to be open for attack. So a part of vulnerability will be perceived as weakness. And it's up to us to know that our vulnerability could be our strength. And it's up to us to draw the line between being vulnerable and being weak. Because sometimes it's not about how a person perceives you, it's about how you perceive yourself. So a person could think that you're weak and they could try you like a baser and then you put them in a place and they're like, whoa, okay. So that wasn't weakness, that was kindness. That was her trying to let me in. And then he take advantage of it and then he get checked and he like, whoa. And now you teach him what a line in the sand is. And so that's what you have to realize. If a guy is comfortable with where he is in life and no plans for anything more, is that a rare flag? Not if he is in a good place. You know, if he's not in a good place, then yeah, that's not necessarily a rare flag either. It just depends on where he is. If he in drugs, if he in the streets, if he in, you know, poverty and can't do for himself then yes, that's a rare flag. But if he make enough money, he could pay his bills, he got a simple life, he happy with the life he have, what he doing, he could do it to the time he ready to retire, then that's not a bad thing. He just might not be the man for you if he live too simple of a life. Hey, Tony, how do I create a website? I also want to begin a nonprofit for a woman, but how do I create a membership along with the website? Since you probably gonna need a little, you probably gonna need your little business consultant because a million different variables for that and I don't wanna, and it's really, I can't, that's kind of something gotta go step by step. You know, you kind of gotta be walked through that precious, you can't just, I can't teach you that in two minutes what I gotta answer these questions in. So, you know, you could go on Tony Gaston's Academy. I got a site on there. I mean, a course on there called Entrepreneurship with Purpose. Also got another one on there called The Personal Brand. And in there, I teach on stuff like that, business stuff and building in a little more in depth. So, you probably need to go on TonyGastonAcademy.com. And also, or if you're in the blessed business tribe, then there, I could do a video in there for that because I could go a little more in depth. How do you know if you have a Jezebel spirit on you? If you suspect it, then you might have it. Because that's a strong spirit. So, you ain't gonna really be, you ain't gonna suspect that spirit if you ain't got it on you now. So, if you suspect that spirit on you, you probably got that spirit. That's like saying, how do you have a, how do you know if you got a Ted Bundy spirit on you? If you can worry about a Jezebel spirit, like, ah, that spirit, oh yeah. Trust me. Why are men slash women trying to normalize in relationships, let alone marriage? If a guy asks me, do you think it's a test or he really wants one? It don't matter whether it's a test or whether he want one, it mean the same thing. And that is that he trash and you got to run. That's all that mean. It mean he trash and you got to run. Cause what you got to realize by anybody that's gonna have three, that mean they'll cheat on you. That mean they'll cheat with you. That mean they'll sleep with anything. That mean that they willing and ready to concoct all kind of bacteria. That mean they don't love themselves. That mean they don't know themselves. And that mean that they freak it deaky. And when you freak it deaky, you're gonna end up with a coinkie dinky and you're gonna have something burning in your body because the wages of sin is death. Point blank period. So when you take that lust out of bounds and you get wild like that, you're gonna pay a price for it. Ain't no way around it. That's why Sodom and Gomorrah got burnt to the ground. You can't take that right there out of bounds and that's what people doing today been not just cause the devil running ramp shot all over the place. Why my ex-husband emailing me about visitation with him but never picks her up is he just documenting to cover himself. How should I interpret this? Email him back. Email him back. Don't worry about why he doing it. Email him back. Hi, your daughter is here and ready and waiting any time that you get ready to keep your word. You have not shown up in X amount of months or X amount of days. So I do not know why you are emailing as if you are confused about visiting your daughter. Thank you. I will keep this email for my records as well. Goodbye. So don't let him play like no fool now. Email him back so you have some records too. All right Tony, can you share the new algorithm advice that you received from Instagram recently? It took your social media mastery course trying to learn how to keep up with the change of the social media. I added to that course. I added to the social media mastery course. Can we, hey, can we give it everything out on here? Not for the read. Listen gang to be sold, not to be told. Let me give it everything out the read. Hey, I put it in the course. Remind me to put it in the course. Listen, all kind of people watch this. People who ain't even subscribed to be watched this. I'm not finna be casting pearls to swine cause people, like the Bible say, don't cast your pearls to swine if people pass by here. They don't support me, they don't. They don't, this ain't no private thing on here. And I, so listen, join the blessed business tribe or join a course on Tony Gaston's Academy when y'all ask me ROI questions. When I say ROI, that mean return on investment. So anybody with a ROI question, make sure you the made an investment because I don't like to, you know, just give out all that kind of information for passer buyers and spectators and haters. No, no, no, that's for the inner tribe. So send me an email, send me an email on support. I add it to the course for you. Jasmine God bless her. Hey Tony, I'm recently married for about a month. My husband wants access to my inheritance. He wants a huge lump sum so he can trade. I'm unsure about it, but he keeps pressuring me. Jasmine, all right, the Q and A is over. The rest of this right here, Jasmine, listen, you got married for a month. Your husband, how do he know about your inheritance? That might be the very reason he married you, Jasmine. Your husband married you for that inheritance. Your husband ain't want you because a real man is not fixing to ask his wife to have a lump sum of her inheritance so he could trade. When 99.9% of people lose money trading, 99.9% of money. That man finna get a lump sum of your inheritance and flush it down the toilet. And two, he's not gonna trade it. He's finna be out there slanging with it. He finna be in the club. He finna be all kind of stuff. Do not get that man no money that he did not earn. That's your inheritance. That's for you to be took care of when he take a stupid pill and divorce you. So keep your inheritance. And that go both ways. If a woman get married to a man and she go to Harlem by hay, can I have some of your inheritance? Absolutely not. That's for a rainy day. And it's already in a state plan to get passed down to my kids if you got kids. But definitely do not give a dime to somebody you just got married to. And you think he just found out that man might already knew. Rhonda, God bless you. Just saying thank you. Your videos have opened my eyes so much. God bless you and your beautiful family. God bless you. So will God bless you. Working big tech before PAN D. Got official with coworker in ATL office in shy. When stuff shut down, I broke up because can't do long distance. He's moving to the shy now. Both make six figure. He wants to try again. I'm looking at you with my good eye. Well, as long as he make his own money, as long as he make his own money, he might feel like you his wife. So as long as he make his own money, I'll tell you that. That's honestly what I think a man will do if he really like a woman. I think a man will make that move if he really like a woman. Now the only thing you got to look and see can you do more for him than he could do for you? Cause one thing about men and airman can attest to this if he'll be real. And one thing about men is we'll do some strange for a piece of change. What I mean by that is a man to move mountains to get close to some money now. So if you work in big tech and you could get him a right, you could get him a job, you could get him put on, you could get him an investment, you could get him to the next level, you could open some doors, then you got to pump your brakes and make sure this thing real. You got to pump your brakes and make sure this thing real. Cause it happened men do it, women do it. It's getting situations for advancement. Now, if you can't do nothing for him like that, then it could just be him wanting to equally yoke partner. And y'all build together and y'all strengthen each other and it could be real love. But you always got to be careful. Male or female, when you've got some money, you got some assets, you got access, you got connections, you got to really vet the person that you're dealing with. Cause a lot of us get used for what we can do for somebody. And because we won't love, we don't see what the hit us. Rhonda, God bless you. Just saying thank you. Your video has opened my eyes so much. God bless you and your beautiful. Okay, I read that one, I think. God bless you. Tony Boyfriend isn't that romantic, but knows I, oh no, where did I went at? I enjoy romance. Red flag or just a lack of creativity. Well, you know, maybe you playing one of the dates. Sean, how it's done? Sean, how it's done? Let me see, watch the words you say on the live. Such words, uh-uh-uh, can't type those type of words. You too, we'll play at the video. Thank you, coach, here. What you think of a man having too many women friends and not any male friends? I don't know about that. I don't trust that one. I don't trust that one, does not at all. Make sure y'all put the hashtag Q in front of your question. Cause I see that's getting y'all deleted. The older I get, the more I realize I'm either too picky or what I like, don't like me. Is this common for women in their 40s? Yeah, it seemed to be the case. It seemed to be the case. And the thing is, is, you know, sometimes the list shrinks and then sometimes it get bigger, but where it may shrink, but it get more specific. And so the thing about it is as humans, a lot of times we want who don't want us because we seeking approval and not love. So you gotta really identify and you gotta say, okay, am I seeking approval? Because if we get somebody that we look up to, that make us feel better about ourselves. Instead of being in a place to where we say, okay, I am equal with this person. Sometimes you really wanna be able to look at a person and not look down on a person. And so, but when you looking up at a person and you like, whoa, this hill's something, then that could be a red flag right there. Erica, you skip a question. I seen your question, but it got deleted. So I don't know if it got deleted on accident or if you had a word and that can't be said on here. Off and on with a man for two years, we were in love at one point. He just went for another woman. We are done forever. You need to be done forever. You might not be done forever, but you need to be done forever. Tell you that now. Do you know where I could get a book cover designed, made from? If you're in my birth year book class, then I put that information in there. And if not, then if you in the Blessed Business Tribe, I got a video on how to publish a book in there. And if not, send us old message in there to do that. What are your thoughts on the possibilities of women getting married over 40? There's a certain special guy on YouTube saying they should just hang it up and look for a guy much older. Thoughts. Well, I really don't know the possibilities of a woman getting married over 40 because I don't know how many women that is and how many men that is. I know I coached a man who was 44, never been married, no kids. He was a doctor. So he'd been locked in and focused on his career. And so my thing is, regardless of the statistics, it depends on who you are, what you bring to the table. Cause cream gonna rise to the top and the cream of the crop is gonna track, the cream of the crop. So it's always gonna be men in their 40s who are single and women in their 40s who are single. And if the pool gets smaller, it just comes down to who's the most prepared. So if you carrying yourself very average and you're not taking care of yourself, you ain't separating yourself, then you're gonna blend in. So the older that you get and you're not married, the more intense you should be about your self-development and your self-love and working on yourself so that you separate yourself from the pack and you could stand out. Is a man who curses a lot a red flag as a Christian and someone who lives intentionally, I find curse words offensive but recognize that most people curse, wait for the unicorn or sell a man who curses a lot. Red flag, it could be his upbringing. It could be a lack of education. It could be a lack of maturity. And so if you see those things as a red flag, then it's a red flag. You determine your red flags. Ziggler said, studies show that the more a person curses, the less sensitive they become to their behavior. So that's why I don't curse and that's why I see it as a red flag but no, welcome to the blessed tribe. So I believe that we should become intellectual enough to be able to express ourselves using real vocabulary words instead of profanity. And I think that by eliminating profanity, it allows us to have more meaningful connections and meaningful conversations because oftentimes profanity is connected to or associated with ignorance, immaturity or violence. So that's why I don't curse but I know people who curse like a sailor and they harmless. You know, they don't mean no harm is just how they was raised is where they was raised is just who they are. So you kind of have to look at it. If the curse words come with a person being belligerent, if the cursing comes with a person being violent, being out of control, now you know this is not a good thing. Erica, God bless you. Is it good to be with a man you was not head over heels for when you first met him? If you can stomach him and if you like him and if you, you know, you them got into him, then yeah, because a lot of time head over heels is not a good thing. Well, it's never a good thing because it means that you in lust and not in love. So you got to realize about that. We shouldn't be with somebody that we head over heels for because if we treat them like a celebrity, they're gonna treat us like a fan. And so that's what you got to realize. Makisha, can the moderators be fair, please? Well, what they're doing is if you don't have a hashtag queue in front of your question, it get deleted. And if you're not putting a question in the comments, it get deleted. And if you use a word that is not allowed on YouTube, it get deleted. So it seemed like they're not being fair because they have to delete a lot of just excess conversation. But if you, you know, but that's what they doing. They just trying to keep the chat clear. As you see, I'm missing a million questions and it's just because the chat just so cluttered. Most people come on YouTube and just talk and don't read questions or they bring people on the video. But I can't bring people on the video because it ain't my personality to cut somebody off and doing the nature of the work that I do. If I have somebody talking, they be talking for 30 minutes. Do you think women are being overlooked just by superficial reasons alone? It seems dating has become more competitive and harder than what it used to be. Yes, that is happening a lot just because of, back in the day, it wasn't of no such, it really wasn't a BBL. And it wasn't, it was weave, you know, back in the day, but not like, I just remember like braids, really like braids and you know, stuff like that. But not so much kind of weave out there and then the body jobs and then the lashes is getting so long and I mean, teenage middle school girls wearing lashes and at the house, they can't afford no BBL but they're at the house doing 500 squats a day trying to get a body in middle school. So can you imagine? It's like they starting at that young and then boys being superficial at middle school. So yes, it is very superficial today. It's really, it's unfortunate. And I seen her later today and she was probably in her fifties and I complimented on her outfit. And I was like, hey, you know, I really want to present my wife. I want to have my wife, you know, just like that my wife feels like that, but I was complimented later because she was older, later 10 KL sevens. First question she asked me, does she work out? I was like, I was like, yeah, yeah, but I was talking about, you know, your fashion. She was like, oh, okay. And so this was in her fifties, say she hid in the gym. She say that's the main thing. She say that's the most important thing, working out. And when I tell you, she had a five carat ring on. She had on a Chanel, big Chanel purse. And her husband is a millionaire. And what she said, basically she was saying, hey, I keep up with myself. And that's the thing. It's like, there are women who, this is the thing why a lot of times women say, eight Joes be winning. The reason why eight Joes be winning, so y'all call it. Now we ain't gonna call God child eight Joes, but the reason why it appears they be winning is because they take the time to see what a man likes. They go to try to see what a man like, what a man into. And you need Queen, I'm gonna get to your question. And then they play on that. Whereas your everyday woman, she is focused on herself and her grind and her life and what she want. But then there's a section of women who, they was raised eight. Do whatever it take to have you a man so you could be taken care of so your bills could be paid, so you could be stable. And so what I noticed, the women who are like, the least trustworthy, those be the ones that get the perfect body. They go get the perfect body, the perfect skin, the perfect hair, and they play to a man's senses. And they'll get that man and they'll cheat on that man. They'll lie to that man and they'll rob that man, but he don't know it because he blinded by her looks. And so that's what happened. You know, B-Faye asks, why am I moderators? Why am I timed out? Can one of y'all tell B-Faye why she timed out? I don't think you timed out B-Faye if you could type. If you timed out, you can't type. Let me see here. Oh, let me see. Now, somebody put a question here. You need Queen. He told me I am too good to be true. Is there an underlying meaning to this? You know, it's hard with these kinds of questions because nothing really couldn't dry. But yes, because nine out of 10 times, a man ain't gonna tell a woman that. A man ain't gonna tell a woman she too good to be true. That's really when a socially awkward man started to date. That's what a socially, you know, did it hurt? What do you mean when you fell from heaven? That's that kind of guy that say that tell a woman she too good to be true. And that really don't come out of man mouth who serious about his life or know how to date or know what he doing. So typically that's what y'all would call a corny man, but we not gonna call God child corny. You know, he just, he working on his game. He working on how he talk to women. He trying to pick them up some stuff. So he say you too good to be true. Now on the flip side of that, no, no, that ain't it. I was about to say he'll tell you that when he get ready to leave you. Some men build you up cause they getting ready to knock you down. So they don't want you to hit rock bottom. So they build you up. So when they knock you down, you don't hit rock bottom. You kind of right there floating in the middle. Megan, roll God bless you. Should you give a God chance who passed up on you before getting to know you? He had a girlfriend at the time. Yeah, you give him a chance. You know, you give him a chance because he had a girlfriend at the time. So you can't look at this as he passed up on getting to know you. He was being faithful to his girlfriend. So, and that's another thing. Ladies, y'all got to stop being so selfish. One thing I've learned about women and doing the work that I do is that y'all is the most selfish people in the world. God bless you now. And y'all know, I call this great down the middle, you know. Ladies, y'all got to stop being selfish. Cause the stuff I be seeing women be dating a man and a man to have a child and a woman to be like, why you got to see your kids? You got to see your kids every week. And I'll be like, that's his kids. He ain't got to see his kids every week. He need to put me first. He need to be building with me. And I'll be like, he got kids. If you want to be first and only get a man without kids. You see what I'm saying? So it's like, so what you asking is, should I pass up on this guy? Because when I first met him, he decided to be faithful to his girlfriend instead of cheating on her to get to know me or instead of dropping her like a hot potato and getting to know you. You see what I mean? So you have to think about what you asking. And one thing I'll be noticing is like, it'd be women versus women. It'd be the girlfriend versus the sister-in-law. It'd be the girlfriend versus the wife versus the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law versus the daughter-in-law. The sister versus the girlfriend. And y'all got to stop being like that. If you under the sound of my voice, get that jealousy out your heart. Get that competition out your heart. Get that hate out your heart. And love yourself enough to know who you are and love you and know you ain't got to compete with nobody else. Mother, rocker, God bless you. Tony Ray, welcome to the blessed tribe. Mother rocker, thought that about said something else. I was like, hold on a minute. If you ever meet a man while you're out with your house last chosen, should you still keep said man away from your, for at least one year? Yeah, you should. I mean, because meeting a man is different than letting a man come in your house and be around you and all that, meeting them. You know, they just standing there. He can't get close to them. He can't do nothing, but you still need to get to know this man. You can't be like, oh, just cause he already seen my child, he could come over to the house and stay the night or child could go over there and stay the night. No, he hurt me in 19, since he's consistently been trying to get back, but I'm focused on me healing and growth. He's patient, supportive. How long will he wait? Should I take him sincerely? Well, I'm gonna tell you this. If you want the man, then stop playing games. If you want him, don't play games with him now. And now you're healing and growing, but what you got to realize too is that we never gonna be a hundred percent healed. We never gonna be a hundred percent grown. So if you 70, 80% and this a man that you feel you can make it work with him, you can still heal and grow while building with him. Being with him don't mean you got to be sleeping with him. Being with him don't mean you got to be living with him. Being with him mean y'all talk on the phone, y'all go on dates. That's it, you can still be healing and growing while doing that. I was raised by both parents, not the best relationship with dad growing up because of mom. He's 71 now, cut him off multiple times. We never speak on the root of it. Should I find a way to share my experiences? Yeah, you should. They should, he's 71, ain't gonna be here always. You need to go ahead and work through that and get that off your chest and get that out of there because if the Lord called him home, now you got to live with that the rest of your life. So go ahead and be the bigger person, be the mature person and understand that anytime when you got something going on with your parents, it's because of what they done suffered. Because of what they done went through. As humans, a lot of time we just think about us. But when we have a parent who is not a good parent, if you learn that parent's story, it'll make you throw up in your mouth. Because what do you think it takes for a parent to be a horrible parent to their child? They got to have a whole lot of pain, a whole lot of trauma. They got to have a whole lot that they done been through. So you got to realize that. How do you know if he's interested or not? We are close to the third date in person. He is talkative and we vibe together. We barely talk during the week or is he just bad at texting? Well, texting shouldn't matter because he ought to be calling you. And if you barely talk through the week, that means that he's a juggling woman or he in a full-time relationship. So he's not interested. And if he is interested, he's not available. So if a man is interested and available, you're gonna hear from him every day. Point blank PRR. And even when I hear somebody send me a video, a man talking about old, busy and all that trying to get to the bag and the woman got to know he trying to get to the bag and so he ain't gonna call every day or he might not, y'all that listen. If you're too busy to call a woman, then you don't need to be in a relationship. You need to go on about your business. I don't know Erin Hernandez, Megan. So I really can't tell you. So you got to go on about your business now. If you too busy to call a woman and leave calling in the morning before you get the going and say, hey, I'm gonna be real busy today. I'd be able to call you at 8 p.m., 9 p.m. Ain't no man in the world working 24 hours a day. So if a man like a woman, he gonna make time for that woman. And like I tell y'all, if Barack got time for Michelle, every man in the world got time for the woman that they claim to be talking to. But even in the day be broke as a box of cereal and hauling back, they getting to the money. They ain't can't call you cause they grinding and they ain't got nothing to show for the grind. And so you feel me? So you got to understand that. Evan and G, I'm sure we're all tired now. I'm sure we're all tired. Husband is very stingy with money, talking about leaving. Have talked about this with him a lot. No changing made. No thinking about leaving. No changing made. Well, you got to define Stingy now. So if Stingy mean he putting up for y'all future, Stingy mean he got investments or he got an account that, you know, but if Stingy mean you want Gucci and he don't want to get Gucci or you want to keep up with the Joneses and he don't want to keep up with the Joneses, then you looking at it the wrong way. And then also you got to ask yourself, what's wrong with your legs? The thing about most men, every man, not every man, those of us who our heart is whatever, we'll be very giving, but we also resent it. So I respect the man who could just tell his woman, no. She got to scratch her booty and get glad. Instead of being mad, then the man who be like me and over give and then be mad by the later. Because as men, we always, we're gonna be thinking about the future. We're gonna be thinking about the rainy days. We're gonna be thinking about the hard times and that's a man job to do that. So you have to define Stingy. Now if the man got you going to bed hungry, that's different than Stingy. You know, if the man, you've been wearing the same pair of shoes for a year. Okay, that's Stingy. You know, going to bed hungry, that's Stingy. But not getting you Gucci and gold and not frivolously spending, that's not Stingy. But a lot of times women sometimes, if you're not making the money, then you don't. If that's not the money that you win and work for, then you see it differently. And I realized that too, as a man, and just being out here, having a sister, having a mama, having a wife, having a mother-in-law, they got like money growing trees. I mean, as soon as it come in, it be gone. And I'd be like, my goodness, and it is to no end. So sometimes, you know, as women, you gotta think about that. So if you make money, then you can't worry about, you know, if you make money, then make your money. You know, if you make money, then you can't get caught up on that. You know, as long as he meeting them needs and y'all got that right there. Now, if he ain't doing that, then I seen you said six kids, but you ain't put a question in there. And Sheriff don't allow replies. She don't allow no back and forth. So Sheriff deleted you before I got to see what you said. I mean, Caramel Kits has got you on that one. So you just gotta define Stingy. And you gotta look at it from a different perspective and see if he really being Stingy or if it's just your perspective. And at the end of the day, don't ever be afraid to get your own money. Don't ever be afraid to get your own money. How many times to express my dislike of his random moments of being short with me or walking off for no reason sometimes. We weren't arguing. He apologized after I addressed it 10 months dating. You shouldn't have to express that too many times more than three times really. As humans, we as adults, we know right from wrong. So if you check an adult on something you don't like that's disrespectful, something that could add up and could become something that's a deal breaker, then you can't keep saying that over and over and over. You gotta be made clear. Now if it's something that's not really a deal breaker and it's just a pet peeve of yours, then you just gotta grow and you just gotta get over. Went on five dates, then went over his house. All right, now eight more minutes. Now I don't went over them, I don't went over my time. Now I don't went over my time cause we had all the people come tilt on in the church right before the benediction. So we had to teach another sermon. It's like, well, y'all get to the live on time now. Someone says they need time and space. No contact or communication and they will reach out when they find peace. Do you think it's over for the relationship or they just need to get some healing? Well, Malcolm, being that you a man and you asking that question, what I found if you asking about a woman, what I found about women is a lot of times they say that just send a message for you to tighten up, for you to get your life right, for you to get on track. And they a lot of time want you to chase them. But if you wanna give her her space and see if she gonna reach out when she get peace, it really ain't like a woman to tell you she gonna reach out when she get peace and then her ghost you or her leave you hanging. Women don't typically operate like that, but you know her. So you got to look at who she is. And now if you don't hear from her in a month and you miss her and you love her and you wanna make it work, then you could reach out. Cause at that point she may be waiting to see if you have grown, if you have changed and you know, you in that position, the way you ready to make it work. Christy God bless you. In the Air Force being married, in the Air Force being married in the military increases your pay and benefits. So people marry for money often. How do I know if he wants to marry for the right reasons? Well, it depends on you now. If you know you got that sauce. Mm-hmm, sauce say, if you know you got the sauce now, you might wanna marry for the right reason. If you know you been a little dry over the years, then you know he wanna marry for the benefits. So it's like, you got to know you. You see what I mean? And that's gonna tell you, you got to always be able to listen to your own intuition. Went on five dates, then went over his house and found another girl number in the kitchen, not officially together, thoughts. Well, I mean, you know he get women, could get women, he desire, y'all ain't together. So it is new, y'all been on five dates. Don't give it more than three months, though. When trying to flirt, why do guys sometimes mention, oh, you must have a lot of guys after you or anything about other guys, especially if they know you're single. It's just socially awkwardness. It's just conversation. Why are family friends pressuring me about dating slash relationship status? I sent them your video, truth about and no response. So, uh-huh, that right there, that right there. Shut them right on up, shut them right on up. Let me see. Okay, Erica, I see your question here. Erica, when you put them on, them little five-dollar ones, they delete them. So that's why, because when the chat be gone, chat be gone, they put them in the chat and they get deleted, okay? So you got to realize that. So thank you for reminding me on that one. Is it a red flag that a man I just met asked me to move in with him for six years? Is it a red flag that a man I just met asked me to move in with him for six years? And yes, he had, huh? He's moved in with him for six years. You know, Erica, you're gonna need some questions. You're gonna need some coaching, Erica. But you don't ask, you don't ask. It's an interesting question tonight. You're gonna need some coaching. God like wants to be friends as he works on himself. Been friends for two years, been emotionally supportive, but it seems one-sided. I pull back to keep friend boundaries, am I wrong? Glam Rocks say trolls will be blocked from the channel. Glam Rocks, who would troll, who would troll him? But now you know, let me see the troll. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'd be on him, he'll be the spramer fangirl, blah, blah. I ain't see, I ain't get to see the troll. I wish I would've got to see the troll. I'd be the hurt myself. I'd be in physical therapy tomorrow. God like wants to be friends as he works on himself. Been friends for two years, been emotionally supportive, but it seems one-sided. I pull back to keep friend boundaries, am I wrong? No, you ain't wrong, you ain't wrong. You need to go on and let him go though. Because the fact that you were in the Q and A and you asking questions about him, it let me know that he is taking up that space in your life, that space that's meant for a man. He taking up that space. Erica, that was a much better move. Join the blessed tribe, you put your question in there free of charge. You ain't got to be sending it in the super chat to put a question in there. So yeah, go on about your business because you got to realize if a man is a friend, men are not friends. Men are not friends. And I know sometimes we, y'all are look at Steve Harvey with a side eye, but a lot of stuff he say, it be spot on. He be telling the truth. Sometimes he just tell the truth to a fault and because he done been married three times, sometimes y'all look at him side eye but Steve Harvey say he ain't got no women as friends because he can't be no woman friend and that's the thing. I don't have women as friends because we created to unite, we created to come together, we created to reproduce. Like it ain't just about living, it's about the humans want to, when you communicate that is making love. A lot of people don't realize that making love is not in the bedroom. Making love is communication. So when a man is communicating with you and he talking to you, if he calling you a friend, then it's going to eventually become more. And if it's not becoming more, but it's becoming more for you, but he not making a move on it, that means that he's not into you at all, but he want to keep you there because he depleting you, he using you. That's why you say it feel one sided because you being used to fill a void, but he don't want you, but you starting to want him. And so you cannot be friends with a man. You could be colleagues, you could be associates, but you cannot be friends with a man unless that man like me. And even then he could have some spirits that go to disturb in your spirit. And so you have to be very careful with that. Men ain't meant to be a woman friend, unfortunately. And I know a lot of people don't believe that. And it mostly be women. It every now and then you'll have a man say, oh, I got a female friend, but they capping for the comments because they wife follow me, or their girlfriend follow me, and they want to keep that little woman that they been calling a friend right there. But that's not how heterosexual men built. That ain't how heterosexual men built. If a woman there and they go to getting close and all that communication at some point, 9.9 out of 10 men gonna make them a move. So you got to understand. Britain wide dating guy one year, no relay moved away for new career options, don't really want to return to city near God. He is stable in career and city thoughts. Yeah, gone about your business, gone about your business. You don't want to, you don't want to. What is your advice on younger women dating older men? I got a video on that on here. Can you do a video for the blessed business tribe on how to promote a book without using paid ads? I've been listening to you and wrote my book on healing and self love. Thank you for your wisdom. Sheena, now the in-depth version of that is in the birthday book course, but I will put that on my list for the blessed business tribe. Hey, all right, God bless y'all, 9. God bless y'all. I hate to be taking on off on you after we done, everybody finally made it. But if you missed it, you could look back over the questions over the Q and A and then watch our beat and got off and then my wife still got the room turned upside down cleaning. Give me one. Guess how I'll be working a little longer because I don't know what my wife had. I apologize for that, y'all. I know I missed a lot of questions. Now we're gonna be gone if my wife was in the room and she was done, but I can't find her. So I'm guessing she in the gym, up in the gym working out. And so this is how we do over here. We occupy our time. Only be God bless y'all. High toning, can you or have done a video on girls who didn't really date in high school and how men prey on their naeva tape? Well, honestly, my whole channel is for that. That's what my whole career started from that is me being out there from the age of 15 to 21, playing in high school, playing in college. And then when I wrote my book at 22, the reason why I did it is because my sister was getting played, my mama was getting played, all the women I knew was getting played. And so that's why, so my whole channel is to read naeva tape so that the playing field is level and you don't have to be played. So I'm gonna try to grab the last couple of questions that I missed and I'm gonna, I'm thinking my wife went up to the gym I went in my son's room, went in my room, play room, I ain't fine. Cause I just got back in town today. So I'm trying to, you know, soon as she done doing, she doing getting the boys read and all that, my 14 year old still up doing homework. So we can't go to bed till he done with homework. But soon as she, so I'm guessing she getting her work out and unless she left and had to go pick something up. Oh, he's 23, I'm 20. Says he wants to learn to love God. Should I leave him alone so he can learn on his own? I feel like I need to leave for him to understand that I really will leave. No, if he didn't say he wants you to leave him so he could learn on his own, then you shouldn't leave. I mean, that just saying he wanna learn the love of God, you know, so what, what, where did he say he wants you to leave at? I'm not sure why you would. So it sound like you need coaching cause it sound like it's something else in there cause I don't know why you'll be, you know, ready to leave him if he just trying to get to know God. All right, Tony, I know you said it was very taxing on you but would you ever consider doing talks with Tony again? Maybe just not as often your feedback in the letters was insightful. Yeah, I'll be thinking about that. But the thing about it is I just be in my own head because to me the letters be kind of boring and the insight be kind of boring to me too. And so I just kind of was like, you know, I don't like YouTube to be a job. And so it just was, it just be random stuff. And then I don't like reading, you know, I'm a listener. So I do audio books and podcasts and so I'm reading these letters. And so for me to get a letter that and I don't know what letter is good because every question is the same to me because it's not my question. So it's like I have to go in order and then sometimes some of the questions I answer I really don't have a lot to say about it. And sometimes just like people just writing in just to write in. So it just kind of got to be, you know, draining, taxing just a mash up. But some of them I had fun with and you know, I was able to kind of break them down. So I plan, I've been planning to get back to it but if I don't have it written down sometimes I just forget to do it. So hey, I'm, we're about to hit 100 minutes on here. I don't know how much time to do it with an hour and 40. I apologize if I missed y'all long questions. If I miss your questions I'm trying to see. I try to catch as many as I could. You know what? I ain't get one from this sister here. Messed up and started intimate doing things with a friend of 25 years. It's been five years of this. Very disappointing to myself. What's the best way to end this without seeming mean so much more to this. You just got to end it. But like you say, 25 years, you're gonna need culture. You're gonna need some culture. I know you don't understand ghost, I know you don't understand ghost writing but do you know, don't understand how one can get into ghost writing, gospel songs for artists. To be honest with you, we're in a social media age. So you really just gotta write the song. Just write the song and have somebody who can sing. If you can't sing, get a little beat offline. Sing to it. You can sing right in the app on your phone. And then just DM it to the artist that you want it to be for. Say, hey, I made this reference for you. If you would like this, I would love to talk to your manager. And just DM it. They might steal it from you and use it. But then, hey, you got the screenshot to DM now. Screen record your DM. So when they steal it from you and they release it, you could go to the blog site and show them that receipt. And they say, oh, woman sent, sent a song to gospel artist, gospel artist released the song without credit in her, talking to her. But it's the social media age. You really could reach almost anybody in the DM. Candace, God bless you. Hey, so y'all, hey, thank y'all for your questions. I'm gonna go ahead and end it here. I'm guessing my wife went to the store to get something. She probably forgot for the boy at school tomorrow. So I'm gonna go and get on off of here and find you. Nah, like y'all telling at B, the poster question, B forgive me if I missed your question. I don't hear a nah. I know you was, are you typing everything else? But the question, the question must be too long. So yeah, and to the moderators, thank y'all so much for being here and helping out tonight and keep them trying to keep the chat as clear as possible, I really appreciate you. And I don't know when I get to do this here Q&A again, but I'm gonna try to, when they ain't doing nothing or my wife tied up and she doing her task, you know, things she trying to get done around this time of the night, I just hop on here because I ain't got nothing better to do than other than having the TV on. So God bless y'all. And I'm gonna finish my next book proposal, working on my next book and gonna see if I'm gonna go, you know, the traditional route with a major publisher or if I'm gonna go independent, but working on my next book. And so I need y'all some details on that. But if I go with the major publisher, you know, it'll be one of the top five publishers in the world in the country. And that means the book won't come out till 2023. If I go with them, if I go independent, the book probably be out by the fall. Cause I write my books in a week. I go to the, you know, go to a beach house, go to the waves and I write the book. I'm leaning independent because it's a lot I could do with it independent. And then too, it's like, you know, when you get, when you go with a publisher, if I get on here and I say something, then they could cancel me. Oh, we counting tonic gas and book deal. Cause even said this right here, but if I go independent, I could speak truth to power how I need to. But sometimes it just depends on the reach. You know, it depends on the reach. Sometimes they have more reach than we have independently. And the book may not necessarily be for my audience, this next book, you know. So if it ain't for my audience and it's to a new audience or a different audience. So if it don't relate to everybody, then being independent, you really ain't gonna have the same traction. But I'm thinking about it though. Well, I might do the book as a, as a, you know, it's a couple of other ways to release them today. So we might do something a little different. Y'all have to get help to it. But God bless you. And the last thing I'm gonna say what I forgot to say, cause I've got to close this out. Let's, let's, let's level the playing field. And what I mean by this is, is right now it's a lot of spiritual warfare going on. And it's a lot of men versus women. And it's a lot of women versus men. And it's a lot of people taking out they pain and they frustration on the other gender. And it's a lot of people that's painting the whole gender or a whole race with a broad stroke. But what I'm asking that we do is that we look ourselves in the mirror, male and female, and we take accountability for our own actions and that we grow as people. And if each one of us hold ourselves accountable and then we tell everybody we know to hold themselves accountable, cause some message is gonna be for men, some message is gonna be for women. The messages for men are gonna offend the men. The messages for women are gonna offend the women. But all of us have to look ourselves in the mirror and we gotta hold ourselves accountable. And if we can do that, that's when we're gonna start to see a change. Instead of men just blaming and attacking women and women just blaming and attacking men if we can call it down the middle and hold ourselves accountable, we're gonna start to see a change. But I'm gonna tell you, you know, it ain't easy and especially for the voices cause you gotta realize for the voices that's out here talking to ones with a platform, once we start getting paid, it's hard to do something different. So that's why you see men who got podcasts that be little women it's hard to switch that off because they getting paid for that. And that's when they built their following on that. And people would do anything to pay their bills, to have money. And so that's why you see the struggle out there. So you crying out to the voices to the platforms, hey, promote this, promote this, like y'all can go to the blog site and say, hey, y'all need to be posting positive messages but they can't really post a lot of it because they built their following on gossip. They built their following on the negative. So they can't get too positive or they're gonna alienate the audience. And so that's why we got to realize that it take every individual being positive and being a part of it and sharing the positive messages and being a light starting your own channel, starting your own podcast, creating what is missing in the world. Hey, God bless y'all, we'll talk soon.