 The covert narcissist knock mode. This is what I like to describe as one of the narcissist's modes of behavior. Their modes of behavior are how they cite the characteristics that determine their responses to how they think and feel. Narcissists are known to neglect to reason or plan their behaviors and responses. They don't consider the consequences before they engage in a particular action. This is one of several videos in the modes of behavior playlist. You can see the other videos by going on to the Narcissist channel page and clicking the playlist tab. There you will find the modes of behavior playlist. When you first meet the covert narcissist they can seem overly happy. People might describe them as being bubbly, full of cheerful high spirits. They might seem absent-minded as though they are forgetful or distracted. They often forget things or do not pay attention to what is happening near them because they are thinking about other things. It's as though they have a low level of attention. You make a fault or mistake and they might not even notice. But even if they do they will be very tolerant and quick to forget about it. It's as though they have this fantasy of you in their minds. Finally they found their perfect man or woman so they can't just let a silly fault or mistake ruin their perfect fantasy. Which is why if you do happen to do something wrong in the beginning they won't pay any attention to it. They won't even care. But they will be keeping it in their back pocket as an advantage that they can have over you in the future. When it is needed they will use it as ammunition against you. They will use it to support their case in a debate or argument but until that time they will remain very tolerant of anything wrong that you might say or do. Anything that might trigger them. They will act like it's not a big deal or they didn't even notice. But as time goes on they seem to become less and less tolerant. Even though you feel like you have learned what they like and what they don't like. You feel like you know how to please this person but now it seems like they are completely unpleasable. They cannot be satisfied. Now there is nothing you can do to accommodate them. When in the beginning even if you did something major it will be overlooked or they would act like it's not a big deal. But now you can't do anything without driving this person insane. As time goes by you might notice a pattern. You might notice that at certain times they enter this altered mode of behavior. They change in character and composition in order to cope with the situational environment and this is what I like to call narc mode. It's when the covert narcissist appears to become an overt narcissist. Instead of concealing their true characteristic traits or their personality they now choose to reveal them to you. They take their mask off and show you who they really are. You may have thought that they were this kind caring loving character but when they're not getting what they want when things are not going their way that is when you will see who they really are. That is when you will see them entering narc mode. The covert narcissist will enter narc mode when they are not getting what they want. They realize that accept that being nice is not going to get them what they want anymore. So the other method of getting what they want is to become unkind, spiteful or unfair to you. Now they're going to force you into giving them what they want by pressurizing you. Even though you may be unwilling to do what they want you to do they will use forceful threats to make you comply. This is known as coercion or coercive abuse. They're telling you or implying that if you do not submit to their demands something bad is going to happen to you. Something that you would not desire to happen and they are using this to make you do what they want because all they really care about is getting what they want. They never cared about you. They never cared about your interests or needs. And when you take away what they want when you stop letting them get their way that is when you will see how self-centered they really are. That is when you will see that they never cared about you. They will enter narc mode. They will become very overt. Their disguise comes off and then they start making demands. They start telling you what to do. If you don't comply they will try to force you by using threats. They will verbally abuse you to no end until you finally give in. They will call you some of the most hurtful things you could ever imagine whatever they think will hurt you the most. And if that isn't enough to make you give in it may even escalate the physical violence. They will physically attack you as a means of getting what they want because that's all they really care about. They are constantly in survival mode doing whatever they can to survive emotionally. They don't have what they need and they cannot produce it on their own which is why they targeted you and they knew that you wouldn't give them the time of day if you knew who they were and what they were really about. That is why they concealed their true character and displayed something to you that might have been more appealing. Someone who is happy and full of high spirits because they knew that would interest you. They knew that was what you wanted to see. They don't always need dark mode to get what they want. Sometimes just being nice is enough. Being nice is often the form of manipulation that they prefer because then you're just going to hand it over without a fight. It's less effort for them. But when you stop giving them what they want, when you stop letting them get their way, that is when you will see them enter in dark mode. That is when you will see them making demands, engaging in coercive abuse and even becoming verbally or even physically abusive, which is why the best thing you can do to identify whether or not you're dealing with a COVID narcissist is to simply tell them no. If they are requesting you to do something for them or give something to them, just say no and watch how they react to you. If they get angry and start throwing things or attacking you. That is not normal. Normal people do not react in that way. And it is highly likely that you are dealing with a COVID narcissist. COVID narcissists are far more difficult to identify than overt narcissists. Although both of them can change from one to the other, depending on who they're around and the situation they are in. COVID narcissists know how to conceal their true nature. When you first meet them, it is not openly displayed. But what you will see, which in my opinion is a huge red flag, is their fake overly kind caring personality. They act bubbly, as though they are happy and full of cheerful high spirits. But if you pay attention, it can seem so forced. You can tell that it's fake. It's a natural. No one is going to be that into you before they've even got to know you. Unless they are trying to get someone from you. Unless they are trying to take advantage of you. Otherwise, there's not going to be any other reason for them to be coming on to you so strongly. That's just my opinion. If you see someone who seems a little too kind or friendly. In most situations, there's another side of them that they're not showing you. They're trying to manipulate you and to give them what they want. All they really care about is their own selfish desires or needs. They don't care about you. And as soon as you refuse to comply with their demands, you will then see just how important their desires or needs are to them. You will then see that they never cared about you. It was all a lie. The only thing they cared about was what they could get from you. And that is why as soon as they're not getting anything out of you, they will then enter knock mode. They could be very dangerous and unpredictable, whether not getting what they want. They are in survival mode doing everything they can to survive. They do not have the capacity to consider you. All they really care about is themselves. And that is why they have constructed these characters as a means of getting their needs met. They are neither an angel or a demon. These are just tools that they use to get them what they want. Underneath it all, they're just traumatized children who never developed. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonate with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you'd like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries you can email me at nicefeathercoachingatgmail.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.