 You know, I'm thinking about a slightly different kind of example and that is where our ego gets stuck because it wants what it wants and it's not getting what it wants. This is another way that we can become stuck in it. I'm reminded of something that Winnecott says, this is not an exact quote, but this is the sense of it, is that psychopathology happens when we can't make the transit from omnipotence to the depressive position. And the depressive position is this rather obscure term for this that was coined by Melanie Klein, the psychoanalyst. But it means to reach a point where we recognize our own helplessness that we give up trying to control everything in our environment. And there's a way where the ego always wants to control everything in its environment. And that desire can keep us stuck and keep us from moving forward. And I'm recalling early, early in my training process, we were talking about the transcendent function. And I was saying, you know, is it like this? And this great, this wonderful analyst who taught, I think at least Deb and I, her name was George Kelly, she said, nope, nope, that's not it. And I said, is it like this? And she said, nope, that's not it. I said, so is it like the depressive position? And she said, yes. And I could sort of intuit what she was talking about, but I didn't have any language for how those two concepts fit together. But I think I finally, like 30 years later, I think I sort of understand it. And I think it's that sense of when you're locked into an ego place of wanting what you want, part of what happens is the ego has to surrender. And that surrender is what brings about the possibility for renewal and growth. And I have a different kind of example to share. And it's rather involved. So I did get the person's permission to share it. So this is a young woman, she was, she was in her late 20s when this happened. And she was just trying to make a career decision that involved leaving where she was working, she was working overseas. And she was wondering, was it time to stay or come back? And in the midst of it, she'd fallen quite in love with this colleague of hers. And they were dating. And so for a little while, it seemed like that was great. She was going to be with this guy, they, you know, maybe they would get married. It was like, she wouldn't have to make a decision about whether or not to leave the job and come back. And then if she did come back, what was she going to do? Was she going to go to graduate school? Was she going to change career? She had all these kinds of career things hanging. But for a little while when she was dating this guy, it was like, Oh, great, I don't have to think about any of that. And then she found out that, that his, his ex-girlfriend wasn't really so ex. So it left her really hanging. And she just felt a lot of kind of, I want to say she felt a lot of like infantile rage. Because not only was she upset, I mean, kind of heartbroken, obviously. But, but also, you know, she, she could recognize that a lot of what was so difficult for her about this relationship rupture was that she was now in throwback on herself and had to deal with her own decisions. She says that she remembers standing at the window at sunset, looking, looking out watching the sunset. And she actually heard a voice. And, you know, it wasn't, this wasn't a kind of psychotic hallucination at all. But it was a voice that said very clearly, you have to proceed with your life as if this relationship isn't going to work. And it's not what she wanted to hear, right? She wanted the relationship to work. She wanted the guy. She wanted all of her questions answered for her. Almost that really was an instance of, you know, the self getting constellated in this very direct way and an instant of the transcendent function. And, and it was very sobering for her. She was like, Oh, Oh, the way she said it to me is, Oh, I guess, I guess I have to take responsibility for my own life, don't I? And that, that is also the depressive position, right? It's when we're in this infantile state. You know, it's like, I, I want what I want. Give me what I want. I don't want to have to do anything. I don't want to have to know that I'm responsible for my own decisions. If something doesn't work out, I can get mad at you. But it was like, it really just landed for this young woman. It's like, wow, this is about me. And I've got to figure it out for myself.