 Recently I found out that my boyfriend had sex in one of his past relationships. He had told me he had never been physically involved with anyone before. Now he says he didn't tell me as he didn't want to lose me. He says it was just a one-time thing he was drunk and he doesn't even remember very much. But now my trust is completely broken. Every day we argue on the same thing. I keep asking do you compare my body with her? He says no but I cannot believe anything he says anymore. What if he thinks about his ex while being physical with me and all these questions arise in my mind? I know I'm being toxic to him and also hurting myself but I keep asking every small detail about their sex night even though he doesn't want to talk about it or even think about it. It's been weeks but we're still going through the same thing. You know I know that jealousy is an involuntary emotion and it's not in our control to decide when we're going to feel it or how strongly we're going to feel it and combined with the fact that your trust has also been broken this is a really shit situation to be in. But even taking all this into account I think now it is time for you to deal with a couple of things. One, you now need to decide what exactly you need him to do to fix things. He can't change the past so now if you want this relationship to continue you have to decide what you need him to do to make this all right for you. Two, and this is going to sound a little bit harsh but if you feel that you cannot get past this you need to make up your mind and end this relationship now because living with these fights will destroy your life in the end. And finally I know that jealousy is an involuntary emotion but it is still your emotion which means that in the end it is your responsibility to work out how to deal with this and how to get past this. You know one of the toughest lessons in our lives is one understanding what it is that you're going to do in a certain situation to finding the strength to do it.