 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Don Amici and Moreno-Hara in Heaven Can Wait. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. For 20 years, our town has admired something called the Lubitsch Touch, that special brand of gaiety and romance that distinguishes pictures directed by Ernst Lubitsch. And tonight we offer a prize example of this cinema magic. The current screen hit from 20th Century Fox, Heaven Can Wait. Hardboiled Hollywood thinks Don Amici gave his best performance in this picture, and tonight he plays the same part opposite Moreno-Hara, one of Hollywood's most brilliant young actresses. Heaven Can Wait has no social problems to solve, no message, but the all-compelling one of good entertainment. And we never can get too much of that, particularly these days. The play is the story of a man named Henry van Cleave, who's been in hot water most of his life because of his rather enthusiastic interest in the opposite sex. But he's at least at last called to account in a very strange play. I think Heaven Can Wait should go very well with this national audience and with our global audience too. That's a fairly new addition consisting of those Americans in uniform all over the world who enjoy these plays along with us at home. It's really one gigantic family fireside that Lux Flakes brings together on these Monday evenings. Somewhere on a little South Pacific Island a lad may be listening. While somewhere on the plains of Iowa his family is listening too. Perhaps in its way the Lux Radio Theatre has become a kind of American institution just like the product that makes this theater possible. You may have to wait a few days now and then to get Lux Flakes but it's worth waiting for. Now a hit play as the curtain goes up on Heaven Can Wait starring Donna Michi as Henry van Cleave and Maureen O'Hara as Martha. Henry van Cleave passes on. Millionaire 70 years old succumbs quietly. When Henry van Cleave died he realized it was very unlikely that his next stop could be Heaven. So with dignity and gentle humility he presented himself at the place where people had so often told him to go. Hades. Now he stands in the outer office of the head man of the region known to his devilish associates as his Excellency. At last an attendant whispers in Henry's ear and he's ushered into an elegantly furnished office where behind a huge desk sits an elegantly dressed gentleman. His Excellency the devil. How do you do Mr. Van Cleave come in please. Good afternoon Your Excellency. It's very kind of you to receive me. At a tall sit down. Thank you. I hope you'll forgive my keeping you waiting but we're very busy really it sometimes it looks as if the whole world is coming down here. Frankly I haven't had an opportunity to familiarize myself with your case. When did it happen Mr. Van Cleave Tuesday to be exact I died at 9 36 in the evening. I trust you didn't suffer much. No no not in the least. I had finished my dinner. A good one I hope. Oh excellent. I ate everything the doctor forbade and then well to make a long story short I fell asleep without realizing it and when I woke up all my relatives were there speaking in low tone saying nothing but the kindest things about me then I knew I was dead I hope your funeral was satisfactory well there was a lot of crying so I believe everybody had a good time it would have been an ideal funeral if Mrs. Cooper Cooper a coloratura hadn't volunteered to sing the end of a perfect day Mr. Van Cleave I can see you have a sensitive cultivated ear thank you and let me warn you the music down here is anything but pleasant Beethoven Brahms Mozart you hear them only above I know it won't be easy never to hear the old masters again and there are several people up there I would love to see particularly one a very dear one but I haven't a chance have you tried no your excellency I know the life I lived I know where I belong I'd like to get it over as quickly as possible very well if you meet our requirements will be only too glad to accommodate you would you be kind enough to mention for instance some outstanding crime you've committed crime crime well I'm afraid I can't think of any but I can safely say my whole life has been one continuous mr. meaner well well get on with it but make it as brief as possible please well perhaps the best way to tell you the story of my life is to tell you about the women in my life you begin to interest me well let's start with the first woman my mother a lovely lady but prejudiced I was bald and I looked like a boy a lobster but she thought I was wonderful she was the first woman I ever fooled and then there was my grandmother she was just as prejudiced as my mother oh please mother Van Cleave baby you're just jealous birthday give him to me I can't stand this any longer I'm going to talk to Randolph about this yes Randolph first you take my son away and now you want to alienate my grandchild you see I was only 10 days old and already women were fighting for me what a way to start a man on the road of life go on my next lesson came from Miss Chivers Miss Chivers was my teacher I was always late or absent so one day I brought a note my dear Miss Chivers my dear little Henry was very sick so please excuse and don't wallop him signed Henry's father Henry did your father write this well well I knew I wouldn't get away with it shall I get the ruler Miss Chivers no never mind but don't let it happen again dear oh thank you Miss Chivers that made me realize women love men who smile sweetly and say I did it very true very true and then there was little Mary she was nine just my age she was pushing a doll carriage along our street one day when hello Mary don't you talk to me then please you're a bad boy my mother says I shouldn't talk to bad boys I bet you don't know what I have in this box and I'm not interested Henry then please then I won't tell you that it's a beetle a beetle see you like it oh who doesn't like beetles it's yours oh thank you but I wonder if I should take it oh don't worry I have another one another beetle huh see oh it's beautiful but it looks rather lonely I think it wants to be together with mine you mean you want this one too Henry Van Cleave you think I'm the kind of a girl who would take away a boy's last beetle oh that's all right you can have it oh thank you Henry now if you want to you can walk with me to the corner from that moment on one thing was clear to me if you want to win a girl you have to have lots of beetles oh yes well then there was the matter of the French governess we had I was 14 years old then I borrowed my father's dress suit and $20 and we went to Delmonico's for dinner you win the governess yes you were 14 at the time yes think of that did you enjoy yourself oh very much good up to a certain point anyway I drank too much champagne and then my family found out about it oh how my cousin Albert Van Cleave told them go on well I suppose the first really important incident was the morning of my 26th birthday that was back in 1899 there was a big family conference that morning my mother my father and my grandfather it was about me of course oh that boy where is he why didn't he come home last night now Bertha I'd like to give you some consolation but all I can say is chin up Randolph where does the boy get it from our own son I give up Bertha I never gambled in my life and I never knew what a musical comedy girl looked like why to this day I wouldn't know how to find the stage entrance to a theater it's always around the back Randolph it has a sign over the door you can't miss it father please I'm not interested too bad oh where does the boy get it from father built up the van cleave importing company from nothing when father stopped I carried on dad you must admit that from the day I left Harvard I earned every dollar I ever spent and why do you give Henry money without making him work for it why I had to save the family name but what about you handing him hundreds of dollars if I had ever come to you for money would you have given it to me now but you give it to him why because I like him father does that mean by chance that you didn't like me son I love you now shut up and leave me alone good morning grandfather good morning Albert good morning uncle Randolph and Bertha good morning Albert well I just came in to bring a little birthday remembers for Henry anything wrong isn't he home well it's 11 o'clock Sunday morning and if I know my cousin Henry he's probably still in church I mean that humorously Albert I'm struggling successfully against the gout and I'm waging a terrific battle with my liver but I doubt if I have the strength to survive your jokes you're a successful lawyer let it go with that I love you Albert I beg your pardon Albert it was sweet of you to drop in so early I I hope Henry will be here tonight to thank you hope so too otherwise I'd be in the most embarrassing position so far as my future in law is a concern we're so eager to meet your fiancee how does she like New York well she's only been here for two days and naturally the impression is overwhelming and her parents Albert how are they oh yes and how does the big butcher from the wide open spaces like New York father please grandfather you don't seem to have any idea the importance of Mr. Strabel while he's one of the great meatpackers of our time he created the most famous character in American advertising Mabel the cow you've seen her on billboards father that big happy cow smiling at you over the fence and saying in big letters of how does it go to the world my name is Mabel which you'll find on every label I am packed by EF Strabel for the pleasure of your table no cow no cow and its right mind could have said anything like that sounds more like mr. Strabel grandfather please Mr. Van Cleave yes plug oh mr. Henry has just come home he went directly upstairs thank you plug well I'd been out all night I was in my room just getting out of my evening cape when mother came up to speak to me Henry good morning mother are you all right my boy yes mother and many happy return I'm sorry mother if I made you unhappy father and grandfather and I we're worrying ourselves to death but you don't give your family a single thought all that matters to you is having what you call a good time mother I went out last night to raise King you mustn't talk like that don't worry mother I didn't I couldn't I couldn't get her out of my mind Henry you'll be well are you well mother when you saw father for the first time did you feel that unmistakable something did you feel an electric spark from your head right down to your toes that swept over your like a hurricane and threw you down to the ground but you bounce right up again and floated right over the tree top heaven for dead I never had such a feeling oh Henry where do you get it from not for me and your father certainly never had any spark mother mother all I'm trying to say is I met a girl yesterday oh well I hope she's from a good family I don't know and frankly I don't care mother if one sees a lovely rose one can be certain that she comes from a fine rose bush what's her name I wish I knew is she is she one of those musical comedy oh no no no this time it's entirely different music it's not the hoochie-coochie it's not the can-can it's like it's like a waltz by Strauss like a minuet by Mozart oh son where do you get it from from you mother now you must be just when I when I was a little boy you wanted me to believe in fairy tales and now when one really happens mother you remember that story about the young man I think he was a shepherd who was walking in the woods oh you've been in the country no no it happened right on Broadway suddenly the young man saw a big castle and out of the window lean the most beautiful princess nothing could stop me climbed up the parapet of the castle have you broken into the Waldorf again mother darling let's forget the fairy tale I don't think I'll ever find that girl but if I did all your troubles will be over if she didn't want me to gamble I wouldn't look at another card I'd stay home every night mother I might even go to work that's wonderful for the first time you're beginning to sound like your father well anyway mother I don't know where she is so don't expect too much and look mother I've been riding around for hours and hours trying to forget this girl don't you worry but it was pretty expensive the cab is still waiting out in front and the cab driver was so nice to me I promised him oh I know your heart is always bigger than your father's pocketbook well look under your pillow I put something there mother mother sometimes I wonder if you're not spoiling me there was a big crowd at the house that night all the van cleaves in New York turned out to meet Albert's fiance Martha Strayville when Albert brought them in a hundred pair of eyes turned to the door and a hundred tongue stop wagging dear dear family it is my privilege and honor to present Mr. and Mrs. E. F. Strayville and laugh but not least well here she is my fiance Martha how do you do madam how do you do her grandfather mother Strayville welcome mr. Strayville did you bring Mabel grandfather we're pretty proud of Mabel mr. van cleave naturally and you mr. Strayville welcome to our family mr. van cleave we people from the West don't talk much but when we say something we mean it thank you thank you for giving me the chance to meet the man who feeds the nation may you lie as solidly anchored in our hearts as you do in our stomachs grandfather this is Martha so this is Martha well Martha how do you do mr. van cleave grandpa yes grandpa if I were about 50 years younger I'd take you right away from this splendid young man you're going to marry kiss your grandpa dinner is served oh where's Henry oh here he comes Henry come here yes Martha dear I want you to meet Henry van cleave my cousin how do you oh miss Strayville we're celebrating Henry's birthday Martha dear oh many happy returns mr. van cleave cousin Henry cousin Henry thank you cousin Martin well Henry here she is now I've done my duty it'll be your turn next Henry that's most unlikely oh nonsense all you need to do is to find the right girl it's difficult Albert I'm afraid I'll never have your luck yeah no question about it I'm lucky oh where's father Strayville father Strayville father Strayville don't be afraid cousin Martha I should have told Albert it would have been the thing to do it shall remain our secret I promise thank you yes we had a secret the most innocent secret I ever had you see I had met miss Strayville just the day before it was in a department store near the telephones I heard a girl making a call hello mother I'm at the hairdressers or they say it will take at least half an hour oh don't worry mother goodbye now here was a girl lying to a mother naturally that girl interested me at once why was this angel lying I had to find out so I followed her but even if she hadn't lied to a mother I would have followed her anyway she left the store and went to a bookshop on Fifth Avenue she seemed very worried about something and kept glancing around nervously looking for clerk well briefly I volunteered may I help you miss thank you I'd like to oh aren't there any women clerks and unfortunately not well it's maybe I'd better come some other time oh please miss my employers watching and if he sees me losing a customer it might cost me my job oh I'm sorry well perhaps I can buy some other book well why another book please speak freely which book do you want well the title of the book is yes well it's a oh there it is right there that one this one oh yeah oh how to make your husband happy by Dr. Blossom Franklin this one yes that one well I probably should apologize I imagine I should have called you madam no it's still miss but not for long I presume that's quite right how much is the book well it's very expensive oh that's all right now this is against the interest of the firm but I must be honest with you don't buy this book you don't need it I'll tell you something much more appropriate leave your nest and fly away with me well I might buy that book too well it's not in stock right now but I'd love to discuss the idea with you please will you tell me how much is how to make your husband happy by Dr. Blossom Franklin oh look there's a picture now where could a woman like that I found out how to make her husband happy you certainly don't want to learn anything from her you're just a charming so young and so beautiful you shouldn't say things like that and if you don't mind I'd like to buy this book I do mind now I imagine that I'm the man you're going to marry I couldn't imagine any such thing what's the matter with me you think I'm that terrible please I just came in here to buy a book for the sake of discussion let's say we are getting married now believe me I don't want anybody to tell you how to make me happy the greatest gift you could bring me is to be just as you are adorable all I want is a book just one book stubborner now look if you don't change your attitude I shall have to complain to your employer I'm not employed here I'm not a book salesman I took one look at you and I followed you into the store if you'd walked into a restaurant I would have become a waiter if you'd walked into a burning building I would have become a fireman if you'd walked into an elevator I would have stopped between two floors and we would stay there for the rest of our life I think you must be mad goodbye oh no wait please please well that was our secret Martha Strabo was the princess I had met and now she was going to marry Albert that night Mrs. Cooper Cooper entertained at the party I call it entertainment she was saying Martha dearest come outside yes Albert Martha dearest I'm terribly sorry Albert dearest you don't seem to realize who is singing I know Mrs. Cooper Cooper one of your most important clients but Albert what could I do I I had to sneeze but you did it right in the middle of our area and five times but I had to sneeze five times dearest do you think you may have to sneeze again I don't know I can't guarantee well then let's not take any chances why don't you go into the library and rest a while and see how things develop yes now run along now I'll go back to the drawing room oh I didn't know anybody was here you didn't know I was here is that what you mean cousin Martha look at me what you're beautiful you're so beautiful oh let me go let me oh oh you you you kissed me you're irresistible cousin Henry yes you must never do anything like that again I hardly know you why even Albert my own fiancee never did you kiss you well of course he kissed me why not but he never kissed me like that like what oh I hate you I don't know why I even stay in the same room with you please forgive me but can't we be friends never now look we're going to be related aren't we we're going to see each other how can we help it well I suppose we can and if we meet in the future we don't have to talk about personal things about you and me let's well let's talk about something neutral for instance Albert why not by the way do you love Albert I'm marrying him am I not are you yes I am no you're not you can't you haven't got that book what book how to make your husband happy it might interest you to know I went back and bought it does it tell you how to make a man happy whom you don't love what he's a fine man he's good he has integrity he's full of high ideals do you love him well I'm I'm going to make him a fine wife at least I'll try my best and if you ask me any more questions I'm going to leave this room and I'll never come back here again never I still can't understand an angel like you and Albert it doesn't doesn't make sense why do you want to marry him well I've always wanted to live in New York and oh I don't want to say anything against our home don't misunderstand me we have all the modern conveniences and luxuries but you don't know father and mother well I've only just met them don't you think they're sweet oh yes very sweet oh yes yes they are but you see it's not very easy living with them you see most of the time they don't talk to each other and whenever a young man and hold their wear some very nice ones well I'm sure of it what if I if one asked for my hand and my mother said yes my father said no and if my father said yes my mother said no but Albert came when they happened to be on speaking terms and if I hadn't said yes who knows when they might have been on talking terms to each other again and I might have been an old maid no no you're not going to be an old maid you're going to be married but not the Albert and yet you wouldn't have to change the initials on your linens I don't know what you're talking about you're going to marry me we can't how can I marry you I'm not even engaged to Martha do you love me well I hardly know you love doesn't need any introduction you love or you don't love do you love me or don't you're trying to take away the fiance of your own cousin do you love me yes oh why did you ever come into my life to make you happy to hold you in my arms forever oh I wish I was dead look let's get away let's get married immediately tonight right away you mean a low yeah that's just what I mean where would we go I I never did such a thing before I feel so helpless oh I wish I was dead oh when Romeo and Juliet ran away from home they didn't stop to say goodbye when Tristan falls in love with a soldier they have to sing for three and a half hours and all I'm asking you to do is to jump into a cab with me and drive to the first justice of peace what are we waiting for come on no wait listen well now don't stop now but I'll come on come on or do I have to carry you listen we can't all right then I'll carry you Henry put me down open the door plug real quick Henry say what are you doing out of the way we're going to be mad mr. Henry what's the matter what's all the excitement right in the middle of Mrs. Cooper Cooper Daria mr. Albert they happen flogger mr. Henry and mr. table they're going to be married are you sure she was packed by a stable to be served at Albert's table but that Henry changed the label Mr. DeMille presents act two of heaven can wait starring Donna Michi and Marina Hera in just a moment. Meantime here's a question for Sally Sally what do you do when you're writing something with a pencil and make a mistake why you rub it out you take an eraser and rub it out mm-hmm and what does that do to the paper you're writing on well I don't suppose it helps it any matter of fact sometimes you make a thin place in the paper or even rub a hole right through aha so when you rub a pretty ray on slip with cake soap or rub the fabric together between your fingers you're certainly not helping the slip any and you may be doing plenty of damage that's why it's so much wiser to let gentle luck suds float away dirt that's what they do you know when you squeeze them through the fabric float away the dirt with no rubbing and none of the harmful alkali either that strong soaps have luxe helps your things last longer where better there's another reason to for luxing under things after every wearing listen a minute you're so lovely darling you know I've been looking for you for years sentimental well maybe but what girl doesn't hope for words like that and luxe girls hear them often you see they're always sure of daintiness and it's so easy to be sure it only takes a minute to give undies they're nightly luxing so don't take chances luxe undies after every wearing to guard daintiness and help those pretty things of yours last longer to we pause now for station identification this is the columbia broadcasting system act two of heaven can wait starting down a mech years Henry and more you know as Martha are below in the infernal regions Henry van cleave continues his life history as a suspicion of brimstone in the air the old man talks to his excellency the devil and so we got married it stole Martha away from Albert her yes your excellency hmm well so far I'd say that well let's hear the rest well in the next 10 years old houses were torn down and new houses rose taller and taller but our marriage lasted just like our four-story brownstone house one morning a few days before our 10th anniversary I was coming down the stairs for breakfast my son Jackie was bouncing a ball you know stop that good morning daddy good morning Jackie you know very well you're not supposed to bounce that ball until your mother is up I'm sorry daddy I've told you this many times son I'm always sorry daddy I bet you'd like to know what I'm gonna give you for your birthday yes I'm dying to know it's up into where now let me see is it a tie well I'm not telling but I'll give you a hint it has 22 colors in it no tie has that many colors so it can't be a tie it can't be a daddy how old are you gonna be 36 that's pretty old isn't it well I never thought about it but yes I guess it is daddy when you were as old as me what kind of a kid were you well I was pretty obedient when my parents said go to bed I never argued about it I did all my schoolwork I brush my teeth every morning and I never sneaked into the kitchen stuffed the turkey with my father's old Panama hat she daddy I guess you were a wonderful boy well I suppose I was then grandpa must be a terrible liar goodbye Jackie good morning Henry morning mother sit down while your breakfast is still hot morning grandfather how are you feeling that's fine look mother this is a brace that I bought yesterday you think Martha will like it oh it's beautiful well after 10 years with me I think she's entitled to it yes oh if your father could only be here Henry to see you settle down a fine husband a good father and a wonderful son well it's Martha and only Martha you know I'm the luckiest man in the world by the way isn't she coming down for breakfast I didn't go into a room she's probably tired mr. Van Cleaves so this telegram came for you thank you what is it anything serious no no nothing I I think I'll go upstairs and see if Martha still asleep and Henry was Martha still asleep show me that telegram Henry please don't try to follow me as soon as I have settled down I will make plans about Jackie don't let him know anything with your ingenuity it will be easy to make up a story Henry you mean we've lost Martha it's incredible it just doesn't make sense what did you do what happened I don't know how I can go on living without her I love Martha I love her more than anything on earth I didn't ask you that I asked you what happened I don't know I always thought she was very happy with me I don't know what she's heard you know how people would talk about anybody but running away like this I can't see any reason for if a woman like Martha runs away from her husband there must be a reason grandfather what am I going to do that's up to you but let me tell you one thing I'm an old man and I may have to go any day if you can't make her forgive you I'll be standing up there right in the entrance and if you ever tried to climb up that ladder I'll hit you on the head with the baseball bat I figured Martha had gone back to her folks and I was right but the thing I didn't know was that she had met Albert on the train he stopped off with her Albert the great corporation lawyer Albert the peacemaker come in Martha dear your father mother will see you now hello father hello hello mother hello Martha well I assume there are things between daughter and parents which are better left to her daughter in parent if you'll excuse me well I guess it was a pretty muddy ride from the station and all that rain yes I suppose it was you want some breakfast Sunday morning we have wheat cakes thank you father but I'm not hungry well place hasn't changed much has it no it looks exactly the same maybe now you'll appreciate your home took your 10 years to find out that we were right if you listen to your mother and your father things would have been different please father I don't want to hear a single unpleasant word about the last 10 years or I'll have to go oh Martha you look so tired cut upstairs child you're going to have a nice hot bath and then you're gonna lie down and rest thank you mother sure sure you'll be all right here child father I just talked to mr. Chuck sir he says somebody saw a couple of prowlers somewhere on the ground they may be some of them horse thief well kill Chuck to keep after yes and if necessary shoot him yes excuse me father but if you don't mind I think I'll go upstairs I'm pretty tired good night sure good night mother good night dear breakfast at 730 yes oh Martha yes Albert Martha I want you to have a restful night and why not your troubles are actually over you paid for your mistakes and paid dearly Albert I don't want anybody to get the impression that I'm a victim of 10 years of misery nothing of the kind there were moments in my marriage which very few women have been lucky enough to experience there were times when you were lifted way up to the sky yes way up only to be dropped way down afterwards that's not the purpose of marriage marriage is a peaceful well-balanced adjustment of two right thinking people I'm afraid that's only too true good night Albert and Martha there's one other thought I want you to sleep with my feelings for you have remained unchanged that's very kind of you naturally I'm not the flashy type like some people and I would say I'm rather on the conservative side and if I were for instance a suit of clothes you well you'd not call me a stylish cut and I prefer it that way but I can safely say that I'm made of solid material I'm sewed together carefully and my lining is good frankly I believe I wear well I'm not too hot in the summer night your protection in the winter need I say more no Albert you gave a complete and accurate description of yourself good night thank you Martha miss Martha excuse me please ma'am but that horse thief we was looking for oh yes did you catch him my Jasper yes ma'am he's right in your room waiting for you in my room you mean oh yes ma'am that's him Henry you oh Martha darling sweetheart how could you do this to me don't you realize what I went through running away like that without a word can't you imagine what I suffered on Martha Martha Henry it won't work anymore what's Albert doing here Albert yes Jasper told me what's he doing here well I just met him by accident on the train accident you expect me to believe that here I am looking all over the world for my wife going insane with despair and where do I find her 2,000 miles away with another man I I just don't see how I can stand anymore Henry it won't work I know your every move I know your outraged indignation I know the poor weeping little boy I know the strong silent man the wounded lion who is too proud to explain what happened in the jungle last night so I'm a fake I'm false I'm cheap Henry please I know I brought you nothing but unhappiness you know that's not true oh so we did have some good times together some wonderful time but then what do you want what did I do even a murderer has the right to defend himself you can't hang a man without evidence I know if I only knew what particular thing is in your mind have you seen that one out of recently of course I have oh well now everything is clear now let me tell you when she saw me yes I was having tea at the plaza and at the table with me was a very handsome young woman but believe me there was nothing to it I would have come to you and told you myself but I didn't want to make me uncomfortable even for one second that's exactly right darling it won't work Henry and besides Aunt Manetta hasn't said one word about you oh all right all right I'm fighting a losing battle I don't look I never loved I love everybody in New York more than you there you go again listen it's the 25th of October Henry many happy returns thank you but it's something much more important than my birthday it's our anniversary 10 years ago today I was almost as much in love with you as I am right now it's very difficult for a woman to send her husband away on their 10th anniversary especially when he speaks as beautifully as you do but I must do it all right darling I know it's all over but can't we pretend for just one minute here this is your present do you like it I'd say it costs $10,000 for that money it's a very good purchase what makes you talk like that if you'd only forgotten to give me this bracelet I probably would have been foolish enough to be in your arms right now you've no idea what a mistake you made the magician played one trick too many you see the other day I was having a new photograph made of Jackie and me and I wanted to have at the right size to fit into your wallet so I slipped into your room this is what fell out of your wallet it's a bill from the jeweler's September the 30th one bracelet delivered $500 October the 21st one bracelet delivered $10,000 I don't remember having received any bracelet from you honor about September the 30th oh oh so that's what it's all about huh think that you had to go through all this only because the jeweler made a mistake and that's what the whole thing is all about it's a mistake I never bought this $500 bracelet has the jeweler ever made a mistake on any of our bills before oh so you don't believe me it's easier for you to believe that I lied and that the jeweler made a mistake oh Henry this may surprise you but I just don't believe a word you're saying I don't believe it either grandpa Martha darling now come on let's get started let's pack what do you mean well naturally you're going back with us to New York Henry what are you standing there for come on sweep it off her feet otherwise we missed the next train where's your bag Martha I can't make her happy than I don't want her to come back that's better no I mean it's serious that's why it's good I'll pack for you Martha Martha let's face it you want a divorce I see no other way what about Jackie naturally I want him yes I think you're right the boys should get away from me oh I didn't mean it that way but I did you want to turn into another Henry van cleave in the closet but for instance do you know what our little Jackie did the other day what bought ice cream for a little girl what's wrong about that I think it's charming but the girl he bought the ice cream for was not the girl he should have bought it for the little devil and when the one little girl found out that the other little girl well that boy got himself into such a mess did he get out of it sure little girl likes him better than before oh what a child let me tell you he is a problem I suppose so but when he comes and makes up his little stories and you know that they are just little stories but he wants you to believe them so badly that you wish you could and finally well what else can you do yes oh but I'm not talking about oh I oh I don't know I'm still too confused I have to collect myself you can do it on the train or what am I going to say to my parents send them a telegram you mean sneak out of the house in the middle of the night exactly like these yes like these we did it once before why shouldn't we do it again how many people are lucky enough to have the thrill of a looping twice in one marriage that's it that's it well we better get will you come back mother well of course you will Martha will you yes Henry of course I will we sneak down the stairs and out into the carriage old Strabel saw us though he came flying out of the house like a tornado and so farewell dearly of Strabel we take Martha you keep navel then one birthday followed another faster I became 45 then came 46 47 and I stopped counting on one of these birthdays Martha and I went to the follies and at the end of the first act we saw a very attractive girl coming down a staircase a few weeks later I happened to find out that her name was Peggy Nash and I happened to hear things about her which made me very eager to meet Miss Nash sit down how do you do Mr. Jones Jones was the name wasn't it yes yes Jones how do you do Miss Nash thank you for letting me call thank you for those beautiful beautiful roses when I saw you the other night at the follies coming down a stairway I said to myself that's the girl of my dreams yes that's right you see Miss Nash oh Jones even knows that came with your flowers you liked who wouldn't that note was so full of charm it was so sweet it had all the quaintness of bygone days really yes you know men don't write that way anymore oh why are there so few of you left well to tell you the truth Miss Nash I didn't exactly come up here to be admired as a museum piece oh now Jonesy don't be touchy anyway Miss Nash Peggy anyway Peggy I'm sure it's a waste of time to talk about the past when the present can be so lovely that one anticipates a most delightful future oh Jonesy it all sounds so wonderful but oh dear but what well you see this photograph he's very handsome isn't it oh front of yours very much so serious I'm afraid it is is there anything I could do to make you forget this young man Jonesy you're asking a lot would it be indiscreet to ask who he is oh now come on Mr. Van Cleave don't you know your own son miss nice oh no I didn't fall into your trap but it must be rather sad for the great Cavalier of the gay 90s to find that his technique is getting rusty yes I've heard all about the daring Henry I understand in my mother's day you were and I'm sure you had a very dashing figure now you're kind of retired Casanova well it's always the same with men when they retire some grow flowers and some grow a tummy miss Nash my son means very much to me he means very much to me too how much shall we say five thousand five thousand oh Jonesy you're underestimating me I'm much worse than that but I'll make you a bargain 25,000 I'll send you the money before lunch before lunch goodbye miss Nash and you've been perfectly charming and so have you and you hope never to see me again goodbye miss Nash now that our little problem has been solved I would like to ask just one question and I'd appreciate an honest answer I give you my word suppose you didn't know I was Jack's father and you happen to see me on the street or in a restaurant this is just an academic question how old would you say I am well I say about 50 that old I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you no no no that's perfectly all right thank you very much excuse me but how old are you 50 after a brief intermission mr. DeMille returns with Don Amici and Marino Hera for the third act of heaven can wait but before we do Sally has a new version of the old nursery rhyme about the little Indians it's a very sad story mr. Kennedy so I hope you're in the proper frame of mind it's about a girl who just bought some new rayon stocking it goes like this for little stockings pretty as can be one pop to run well then there were three three little stockings pretty nearly new got rubbed with cake soap oops only two two little stockings my stories nearly done strong soap weakened them so now there's one and you know a girl can't go around wearing just one stocking a very sad story Sally but I'm afraid your heroin wasn't awfully bright she was just plain dumb mr. Kennedy why if she looks those stockings she might still be wearing them she might indeed we have proof you know that luxing stockings cuts down runs over 50% in a whole series of tests on rayon stockings the ones washed with lux flakes lasted far longer than those rubbed with cake soap or washed with a strong soap luxing cut runs in half that goes for silk and nylon and cotton too as well as rayon whatever kind of stockings you're wearing a luxing a day helps to keep runs away just be sure you let your rayons dry thoroughly they need from 24 to 48 hours to get dry all the way through and be sure you get lux flakes if your dealer is out of lux when you ask for it he'll have more soon so ask him again in a day or two now our producer mr. De mill after the play we have an appointment with two very charming people our stars but now the curtain rises on the third act of heaven can wait starring Donna Michie and Maureen Ahara the recital and the of the life and sins of Henry van Cleave is growing to a close as Henry talks his excellency the devil listens attentively jotting down notes on a pad of red paper at the age of 50 then you found you were growing a bit corpulent unattractive to the ladies yes you were displeased well in a way a man likes to feel that well vanity I suppose it's it continue please well another year rolled by and Martha and I celebrated our 25th anniversary early in the evening she disappeared I found her later sitting alone in the library nothing I just wanted to take a little rest after all it's been such an exciting evening nothing wrong is it oh no nothing dear I'm just just one well to tell the truth I'm being a little sentimental so I came in here for a few minutes yes this is where it all started 25 years ago yes I was standing there by the window no you were sitting in the chair well that's right and then you came in you went over the window then suddenly you started walking towards me very slowly I could count every step you were such a frightened little girl darling I want to make a confession after all we have been married 25 years I wasn't frightened at all you weren't when you were walking towards me so slowly do you know what was in my mind I thought what's the matter with him can't he walk any faster you darling Martha yes Robert Mrs. Van Cleave your wanted on the telephone oh thank you hello yes I called you well it's really not important yes everything's all right now I'll call you tomorrow who was that oh nothing special let's go back to our guest shall we darling who was that on the phone I'll tell you all about it some other time why not no all right I'll tell you this is another confession my lover I don't think it's funny at all are you jealous don't don't be silly Martha but why can't you tell your husband when you talk to over the telephone and besides I wouldn't have brought it up right now but for the last several weeks you've been going out in the afternoons and you've always managed to avoid telling me where you were you are jealous oh Henry at last after 25 years thank you darling Martha whom did you talk to well do you promise to be sensible enough to make a mountain out of a molehill yes I promise well you know how women are we have too much time on our hands and we begin to imagine things are wrong with us well I'm no exception so I've been going to a doctor that's all darling you know I certainly feel like a fool now I'll make a confession I really was jealous imagine a man of my age get Martha what did you see the doctor for what's wrong oh nothing really so that's why you came in here you weren't feeling what darling is it serious I tell you it's nothing at all just a little dizzy spell now you promise to be sensible what did the doctor say listen dear if I take five drops three times a day and if you don't worry too much about me we'll both live to celebrate our golden anniversary now let's dance I didn't know it then but this was our last anniversary it was the last time we danced together there were only a few more months left for Martha and she made them the happiest of all our lives I was a lonely man after Martha died I kept searching for something in life and never finding it perhaps it was my youth I was looking for perhaps it was Martha one morning I came home at breakfast time I had been out all night my son Jack caught me sneaking into the house father is that you oh good morning Jack I'd like to talk to you father now Jack I said I'd like to talk to you come into the library Jack I heard a very funny joke it'll start your day off with a lad you should be ashamed coming home at all hours making a wreck of yourself how long do you think you can keep this up please now Jack don't scold me someday you're going to collapse I know you're right Jack I shouldn't be living this kind of life but my boy put yourself in my place I'm lonesome you're always away somewhere on business and being alone in this big house night after night you don't know what it's like neither do you because you're never at home but but I can imagine what it's like and Jack it's horrible I want to have a talk with you I'm not fooling myself I'm not getting any younger and I think the time has come to change my way of living oh yes all right who is she who the girl you want to marry who said anything about getting married no no what I had in mind was something entirely different you know Jack the other day when I was all alone in the house you know what I felt like doing what Jack I felt I'd like to sit down in a comfortable chair and read and read why didn't you Jack my eyes can't take it anymore why don't you go to an Oculus that might do yes on the other hand what do you think of the idea of well of some kind of a reader you know someone with a pleasant voice and nice diction come on out with it who is she well you have the most suspicious mind how old is she well she is an unusually adult young woman I met her old Wilson whether he's how she was his reader father this is the silliest idea I ever heard now Jack why do you want to deprive your old father of a little cultural pleasure look at all these beautiful books I can think of nothing more dignified and home-like than sitting in front of a fireplace and having someone read one of them to me something worthwhile something like well like this perhaps now let's see this book well something like what a book is it how to make your husband happy where did that thing come from that's been here a long time I'd forgotten forgotten what a father about this reader you want this girl I've forgotten that too I don't want to check I I guess I don't want much of anything as a man grows older his medicine cabinet grows bigger at the age of 70 my medicine bottles filled six shells the night I died I'd eaten everything the doctor said I shouldn't when I woke up there was a nurse sitting beside me a nurse she was a vision I opened my eyes and there she was Nelly Brown registered nurse your Excellency one look at her and it didn't matter whether she was registered or not and then then Nelly took out a thermometer and she said open your mouth well who wouldn't for Nelly then she put the thermometer in my mouth and my temperature went up to a hundred and ten who could ask for a more beautiful death well your Excellency that's the story of my life and now I'd be grateful if you'd ring for the elevator and send me down where I belong no definitely no sorry mr. van cleave but we don't cater to your class of people please make your reservation somewhere else somewhere else but your Excellency if I walk into the lobby of the other place to mean above yes I know what will happen the man behind the desk will say can't you read the sign clientel restricted well you never can tell sometimes they have a small room vacant in the annex not exactly on the sunny side not so very comfortable the bed may be hard you might have to wait a few hundred years till they move you into the main building or I don't think they'll even let me register well it doesn't hurt to try after all they may inquire about you among the residents in the main building and I think you'll find a lot of people will give you a good reference that always helps for instance grandfather oh yes yes grandfather don't you think he'll be waiting for you he might he will and not with a baseball bat there must be many old waiters from sherry's and del monaco's whom you tipped generously those old cab drivers who still remember that you never waited for the change yes I wouldn't be surprised if you have a lot of friends up there and if they all should fail there's someone else yes she is up there she will plead for you do you think so you know she will mr. van cleave I would say you have a chance anyway it's worth trying is the elevator goodbye your excellency and thank you good luck oh I'll need it going down sir no up our stars will be back in a moment you know people have different ideas about almost everything even washing dishes I do my dishes once a day just rinse and sacks them tuck them away in the laundry tub and then wash up the whole lot of the time I think it's more efficient I wouldn't think of letting dirty dishes stand around I get them out of the way just as fast as I can after every meal different methods but listen to this I use Lux Flakes of course I wouldn't think of using anything else but Lux yes it's Lux for dishes whichever plan you follow first Lux saves your hands if you've let strong soaps give your hands that dishpan look change to Lux soon your hands will be soft and smooth again that's been proved in many many tests second Lux does more work does up to twice as many dishes as the same weight of well-known dish washing soaps tested you get so many suds with Lux Flakes they're very thrifty use Lux thriftily to don't waste it use all you need to get good suds but no more than you need try Lux tomorrow for dishes and see for yourself how much work it does how kind it is to hands be sure you get Lux Flakes now here's mr. de mill with our stars in the book that lists fine performances given at this microphone you will find written in large letters the names of Donomy Chi and Maureen Ohara and here they are for a curtain call thank you CB I I have a rather important piece in use for the audience well let's have it done well all fairness to you Maureen I think they should know that you're not 60 years old as your word one time during the play but just 23