 The narcissist must do this before they leave you. There is something the narcissist must do before they leave you and they can't have it any other way. This is the only way that they want it to end. This is the only way that they can feel comfortable. The narcissist must do this before they leave you. They must destroy you. They must ruin you. They must wipe you out because they are not going to leave with you being better than them. They see it as a competition and they have to win. They have to defeat you. They have to establish superiority and supremacy over you because there is a hierarchy, there is a peck in order and they need to be on top of their game. They need to be in the best possible position so that when they leave you they can tell everyone that you are the problem you are the one who made something bad happen and after they have done all of these horrible things to you you have developed CPTSD you have difficulty controlling your emotions you are always on edge you feel very angry and distrustful towards the world so now it's easy for them to point the finger at you and say that you are crazy because you are suffering from the effect of the abuse you are feeling upset because you have got no closure you have got no sense of resolution or conclusion you don't know what just happened so they will tell people you are crazy they will tell people you are weird they will tell people you are stalking them you are always contacting them and you won't leave them alone when you are just looking for closure you are wanting answers but they will twist it so that it makes you look bad the narcissist must destroy you before they leave you so that it makes people think that you are the problem so they will make up lies about you they will tell people that there is something wrong with you they may even tell people that you are the narcissist which they will often be able to support with evidence because following the abuse you have lost sense of direction you are confused and unable to think clearly you are not in your right mind you are not in a healthy mental state so it will make their story more believable but people who really know you will understand what has happened they will take the time to understand they will listen to your side of the story they will give you a voice so that you can express your thoughts and feelings instead of trying to shut you down the narcissist will bring their flying monkeys into the illusion they will get them to believe their lies and this may cause you to feel emotional distress it may arouse feelings and memories associated with particular traumatic experiences when other people don't believe you when other people don't see the truth and you may think that you need to get these other people to see that the narcissist is hiding the truth or that the narcissist is lying but you are just wasting your energy because they've already been brainwashed by the narcissist so they're just going to think you're trying to manipulate them and it may re-traumatize you so you don't have to prove your side of the story you just need to understand why the narcissist is doing this and they're doing it because they need to make you look strange they need you to look crazy because they want to destroy everything that is good about you they don't want you to move on they want to keep you thinking about them they want you to remember them because they lack the ability to form and maintain relationships they can't attach to you they can't attribute importance or value to you but then they can't disengage they can't separate themselves from you so when they leave your life torn to pieces and they keep you waiting for their decision to answer they get a kick out of it because then they're taking your power away from you it's all about power and control so if you're constantly thinking about them if you're looking for answers if you're experiencing a psychological response of the abuse they find amusement and enjoyment in it because it leaves you feeling weak and vulnerable because you're wanting something from the narcissist they want your attention they want your emotional validation because they want to feel like they matter they want to be heard and seen it gives them power it makes them feel better about themselves because you're waiting for them so they must be better than you it gives them narcissistic supply it tells them that they are special it tells them that they are this amazing, perfect person who everyone wants and the flying monkeys believe their false narrative they become stuck in this activity that the narcissist engages in for amusement and fun because the narcissist is just playing a psychological game and they're playing this game to extract your emotional validation and it's a game that they've been repeating since childhood it's a game that was once played on them by their parents or caregivers it's something they've learned and they bring it into their adult lives they bring it into their relationships they project on to you everything that they've experienced in their childhood it's the only thing they know how to do and it's never going to change they do this to everyone they meet it never changes before the narcissist leaves you they must do this they must destroy you because they want to keep you in a vulnerable state they want you to be weak because it leaves the door open it makes it easier for them to come back to you and they may often want to come back to you because the one thing they really want from you is your attention and if they can keep you in a weak and vulnerable state you're going to give them your attention it makes it easier for them to manipulate you they don't come back because they've realized what they did wrong they don't come back to make things right they don't come back because they miss you they only come back to meet their own needs they only come back to get your attention they need your attention because it's something they've never had so they create situations where they are able to get attention to fill this void but it's a void that can never be filled because their ego can never be satisfied so they always want more and more you may have loved the narcissist you may have given them affection without limitations you may have given them love without conditions but that still wasn't enough for them it didn't mean anything to them and that is why they play these childish games that is why they create these situations where they can make you supply them with attention and emotional validation that is why they're always trying to get attention from other people but it's never enough for them they're never satisfied because they don't see that it's something that they're doing wrong they don't see that it's something that they need to change they lack introspection they lack insight into their own behaviors which is why they do the same thing over and over again which is why they always get the same results but they have no desire to change because they're getting what they want so even though it may seem like they've moved on and they're with another person it doesn't mean that their behavior is going to change they will be this way for the rest of their lives they need to destroy you so that they can increase their power and influence they need to win the argument they need to win the competition they need to leave in an advantageous position because they're driven by this void that can never be filled that's what motivates them to do this they have to feel like they're better than you they have to feel like they come out on top but their feelings contradict reality their feelings are contrary to what is actually happening they're very childish and immature they have to get other people to believe their lies because it validates the illusions of their false self and other people will believe it because people generally choose the path of least resistance they choose the easiest way to continue so they're not going to do a thorough investigation into it to see what actually happened they will believe what's put in front of them because it makes it easier it takes less time and that is how flying monkeys exist because they're lazy they're not willing to use effort so they're going off of their own impressions of the narcissist they're not educated on narcissism they don't understand the narcissist's hidden agendas you understand it because you've experienced it but other people may not have experienced that which is why you may feel stuck you may remember times when the narcissist did certain things and you may wonder why those events can't be brought into consideration but this is just the extreme foolishness and the rationality of it it's all based on lies it's all an illusion thank you for watching I hope this video is right with you please like, comment, share and subscribe if you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description you can email me at coaching.naxiv.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon