 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by rose franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Oh bedroom is freezing. I'm cold if you'd hurry and get dressed you wouldn't feel so cold I am hurrying and I am getting dressed and I still feel cold Any windows open? I looked oh, oh, then you're cold too. I'm not a stone. You know, aren't you? You know David, it's very funny the house has been gradually getting cold all afternoon now. It's positively frigid All of us with the sniffles not good. Did you adjust the thermostat before it got so cold? You mean push up that little jigger on the wall to make the house warm. I showed you how it worked I know how it works Only it doesn't make the house warm or you turn the dial up to the right to where you want the heat to be Of course I did. What do you think I do to turn it down? I wouldn't know well I turned it in case you're interested. It's been getting colder ever since Broken that's what it is. It's not broken. How do you know it's not broken because we happen to have a perfect oil system for heating Just doesn't go and break for no reason. Well, maybe there is a reason probably didn't turn it up at all Well, look for yourself Just outside the door and I bet you the thermostat reads 32 32 is freezing. Well, I'm freezing Go on have a look and you'll believe your wonderful little oil system can break it can't break I tell you Just amazes me how you take sides with an oil system against your own wife The oil system for heating this house is a very much perfected piece of equipment. I'll tell you that right now But you can't say the same about me. No, I can't say the same about you Hurry up and get dressed. I am late for the Reynolds. I hate being late. I am freezing I can hardly move The reason the heat isn't going up is because it's it's probably so frozen. It can hardly move All right. All right. I'll look at the jig in the hall Put on your overcoat of the shock will turn you to ice You get dressed When'd you say you turned it up? Oh about five o'clock, I guess Turned up. All right to 84 degrees The house is certainly no 84 degrees. Why'd you turn it up so high because it was so cold That has nothing to do with it has it. No, probably not. Oh Well, what's the temperature now? 64 64. Well, that's below normal way below I guess I better go down to the cellar and have a look at it You better hurry we do it the Reynolds at 715 quarter of seven now. I'm almost ready now darling stop fussing David be careful of what I don't know. Just be careful. What's all this shouting? Say mama, are you freezing? I thought this was some kind of new air conditioning. I'm freezing. Yes What's the matter with the house to the wall blow down David's gone down to look at the oil furnace Says he knows all about it. Well, if he says he does he probably does David's that kind of a man You know, you're a wonderful mother-in-law First time in law to have and as a mother. I'm a total flop complete flop. Maybe you're out of oil Into the noises Oh, it's certainly a luxury to have a husband in the cellar who can fix things. I hope David says it's not broken. He says it's too good a furnace to break Does that make sense to you? No, but men feel differently about machines than we do David feels positively human about them He trusts them more than he does me. That is no small wonder Aren't you dressed yet? No mama was talking. I can't do two things at once. Did you get the furnace fixed? Are we out of oil? No, we're not out of oil. It was nothing to fix. Well, what was the matter down there? Not a thing just had to tighten a little screw that held the little gasket where the pipe led to the chamber We're not enough enough enough So the house gets warmer poor mama will be frozen stiff as a mackerel by the time we get home stop worrying about poor mama You really fixed it David You're superhuman. I'm also a little greasy in the hand. Oh, the time I get them washed. I want you to be dressed What's the big hurry about my getting dressed for the big hurry about you're getting dressed for is that if you don't hurry you You get sidetracked and we'll be late. What's five minutes? Besides the sidetracked parts the most interesting part of living I always say hey where's that clean shirt? I laid out right there on the bed under my wrap Really sometimes I wonder what you You think I did before I was married what you did about what? About getting faces on time. Hmm. You probably never got any place on time before you were married I suppose every husband thinks that of a wife. I Suppose every husband thinks that a wife's life began the day she stepped to the altar. Well, didn't yours? Course it did darling say do you remember to have my trousers pressed? I talk wifely. He talks trousers Your trousers pressed was the last thing Bertha did before she and Fritz went out to dinner Well, once I get a little service around here. Oh, you are persecuted absolutely persecuted hanging in your closet Mama Nothing, I was just wondering if you were starting to feel any warmer. No colder Well, go out in the hall and see what the thermostat says. All right, should be up to 70 by now Understand it Maybe you turned the wrong screw David. No, no, no, I never turned the wrong screw Maybe you did this time his chilly David. Oh And mama still has her coat David, please do something I can't bear to think a poor old grandma's spending your night in this Ig blue. All right But you women expect miracles in too many not at all We just expect you to be able to fix things around here after all you are an architect I'm pretty good at fixing things. You're a miraculous guy Usually he does know what he's doing. You know, David's a very talented husband. He always knows what he's doing Mama for heaven's sakes put on your coat leave me alone cold will get worse. So will yours Mine's mine's gone practically. So is mine. I'll leave me alone and get dressed You must be freezing running around in your slip. I am freezing and get dressed if you get keep David waiting He'll be furious. Oh David's fixing again Hey, throw me my shoes. Would you mama? They're under the dresser right by you. That's a beautiful place for your shoes Do they bother you under the dresser? It wouldn't bother me in the closet where they belong either Well, I put them under the dresser this afternoon So I would know where they were tonight. Wouldn't you know where they were in the closet? Might not your system fascinates me works perfectly for me. Just don't forget the combination How's it be warm about two minutes that a guarantee it is a guarantee Let me get the dirt off my hands say I noticed you're not dressed shoes are on my hair is combed Which is more than yours is Say mama, where are you going? This happens to be your room and David wants to get dressed. He's decent I happen to like my privacy Say mama, let me know when you start feeling warmer won't be too soon. Oh, you know, it's a it's a really efficient heating system Beautifully designed Simple to work to that's good That's part is that it reacts so quickly You turn it up in two minutes. It's down ten degrees laugh if you like you'll see. Oh, I Certainly wouldn't want to be an ice cube. Would you I don't imagine it's so hot being an ice cube. No, it's not so hot being us either Hey, David, what do you think is the matter without heater? Not a thing David stop being sentimental something must have been wrong. No, nothing was wrong It doesn't just go down for nothing. Will you get dressed? Huh? So something was wrong. I'm almost dressed In spite of my fixing the heater though. There was nothing wrong with it. I am dressed before you So handsome. Thank you. Lovely white shirt. Thank you pinstripe suit lovely Get that look out of your eye. Oh You're no fun You have a one-track mind My extremities have turned pale blue good blue is a very becoming color to you mama What was the thermostat the last time you read it? What was it David 62 mama? Congratulations Sixty now falling rapidly David maybe we better call the plumber or something. No, no, if there's anything wrong with the heater a plumber won't help But you will I suppose you doubt me All I know is I'm freezing Doesn't matter about me. I'm going up a mama staying home The baby staying home with her and they they have to you probably that screw I should have turned it to the left instead of to the right David Please call somebody. Oh, you can't get anybody this hour the night. Well, then maybe you better turn the screw to the left I'll be ready in a second. All right. I'll go down to the cellar this once more and straighten that thing out by the time You're up. I'll be down. Well, you better be here. We're going to be late David was that you it was I oh poor mama Mama come in here. David's gone down. Aren't you dressed yet? Oh, I'm as good as transferring pocket books That's the last step, you know dreadful boy. Mm-hmm. It is certainly winter. Oh, David's really gonna fix it this time mama She'd see him looks so handsome in that dark blue pinstripe David's a very handsome man in anything No, I can never decide whether I like him better as a farmer or as an architect or in a dark blue pinstripe All I know is he is the handsomest the most punctual the most Talented man I ever loved. He's the only man you've ever loved and will love ever There bags all transferred coats downstairs. I am all set to go. You don't look so bad yourself The girl who's married to David ought to look better than not so bad Oh, come on, let's go down David you ready? He's in the cellar. He can't hear you better hurry Was that thunder sounded more like an explosion to me you don't think that that could be come on David Was that you darling David answer me? I'm fine. I don't need to worry about this Stand back if you don't want to get to filter it up David darling your face your shirt You're so you look like a grease monkey. I told you it wasn't broken. I told you what wasn't broken the oil furnace Of course, nothing was a matter with it at all. Then what was that explosion just a spark or a valve was stuck And took an explosion to clear it out. He thought I couldn't fix it Didn't you well a house will be warm in two minutes. Mama. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I am David I am all dressed and ready to go Hours you have been nagging me to hurry and now you stand around Rolling your eyes with pride because you didn't want mama to freeze. Did you but we're going to be late for dinner I'm never satisfied. All I have to do is shower and change my clothes I'll be ready in a few minutes after all people don't you expect you to be on time you always say And we're late because of me it's a crime But because of a silly oil furnace he fixed that wasn't broken He's elated just count to ten Claudia one two three four five six Even after the Christmas rush is over shopping can involve a lot of wear and tear if you go and go go without a pause Fortunately many stores now have Coca-Cola coolers within easy reach So it's a simple matter to drop a nickel get a nice cold coke and shop refreshed Mr. King is David almost ready to leave. He'll be down in a minute. What are you impatient? That is a masterpiece of understatement. She's fit to be tired Tell her they won't be more than 20 minutes late only 20 minutes Good heavens. What's the matter? Claudia's birthday. It's tomorrow. What did you forget almost perhaps? I better remind David all David hasn't forgotten He's all set for it. That boy. I might have known. Well, I better go hold my daughter's hand. See you tomorrow, Mr. King All right, Mrs. Brown Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying or if war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney and Now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola