 I'll be reading from a novel by Nat Hintoff, the day they came to arrest the book. It was challenged in Charlottesville, Virginia in 1990 because it taught young people to challenge and defy authority. You've got to understand first that Karen Salters is no firebrand. The only crusade I ever knew her to get involved in was saving the whales. And since one of her ancestors was captain of a whaling ship out of New Bedford, I put that to guilt. So when more than the usual number of would-be censors began to come around the school a couple of years ago, Baines went on. Karen used to say, there aren't many books I'd go to the stake for. She liked the job. She needed the money. What she didn't need was trouble. Her husband had been sick for a long time before he died, so that took care of whatever they'd saved. What I mean is, Karen wasn't carrying any banners, not for the First Amendment or anything else. What kinds of censors were coming around, Dager asked? The standard brands, parents who didn't want their children reading about sex or being exposed to words they weren't allowed to use at home. No problem there, of course, so long as they wanted to prevent only their own kids from reading those books. You'd just give the kids something else. But some of the parents wanted to save every single child in the school from those books. Then, Nora Baines buttered her English muffin. There were people who said they were complaining only for themselves and their own children, but they'd pull out a list of wicked books that looked exactly like the list we'd seen from other folks, who said they were only acting for themselves. I must say, however, some did come straight out and say they were part of an organization that was determined to clean up the whole school and woe unto anybody who stood in their way. So it is that we have come to know, if not exactly love, concerned citizens, parents for morality in the schools, and so cash, that is not a vegetable, that is save our children from atheist secular humanism. I think I know the answer to what I'm going to ask, Dager, which Gerald said, but which books were they after? All the usual suspects, Nora Baines' signal for more coffee. Go ask Alice, poor dead child, they think she's a vampire and keep driving silver stakes through her heart, and that aging menace, catch her in the ride. And of course, sweet Judy Bloom, with blazing eyes and flaring nostrils, they have come after blubber and forever, and then again, maybe I won't. And are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. Oh my, I think they would excise Judy Bloom if they could get her to hold still, and Kurt Vonnegut too, although I think they would rather skin him alive to see all the creatures from hell popping out. Dager laughed, your review committee must be awfully busy. That, Nora Baines banged her hand on the table, is the problem. We have all the procedures ready to go. The complaint form for the child's service to fill out, the way in which the review committee is to be put together from the school in the town to examine the complaint. And if the book is arrested, how the trial is to be conducted. I don't understand, Dager said, so what's the problem? A sneaky principle is the problem. Mr. Moore prefers to handle these complaints informally. They hardly ever get to the review committee. Mighty Mike meets with the indignant parent or whoever, and then he takes care of the complaint. What do you mean, Dager asked? Let's say it's a library book, Nora Baines said. Not that we haven't had some complaints about classroom books. He handles those the same way. Of course, he hasn't had to deal with me yet. But if it's a library book, Mr. Moore would have a word with Mrs. Salters. She used to imitate his performances on those occasions. Nora Baines squared her shoulders and taking on a deep, buttery voice impersonated Mr. Moore. My dear Mrs. Salters, with all the good literature available, surely we don't need the questionable books, the offensive books on our shelves. This title, for example, a number of parents have dropped by to talk to me about it. Surely this one book is not crucial to the education of our young charges. I am certain, Mrs. Salters, that someone of your broad experience and knowledge will easily be able to substitute or more balanced. Well, why should I be ashamed to say it? A more healthy book. I'm not criticizing you for having ordered this title, not at all. I am merely suggesting that if you will reflect on this matter with me, you will agree that this book will not be missed if it should be retired from the shelves, or if not wholly removed, at least placed on a restricted shelf. Oh my god, Dager Fritchie Gerald said, one of those, the emperor of smooth, my dear. Never ever will you hear the word censorship past his plump, innocent lips. If mighty Mike were a mortician, he would soon have given a discount than say death, passed away is what he'd say. And so when he kills or locks up a book, it is not censorship. It is simply selecting another book to take its place. And Mrs. Salters, the new librarian, asked she went along with it without saying a word. At first Nora Baines paused to finish her coffee. Karen figured that one title, a few more titles, weren't worth a battle. And she knew there would have been a fight, a mean fight. Karen was no dummy. She knew for all the honey on Mr. Moore's words that she was getting orders. And if she didn't follow those orders, he'd make her life miserable. She'd seen what he'd done to people who crossed him. But after a while, Baines continued, Karen got to where she couldn't stand figuring out what to say to kids who came in for one of those books and who had to be told it was no longer in the library or that it couldn't be touched unless the kid had a note from his parents. So I wasn't surprised when Karen quite agitated told me one day, this is not why I became a librarian to keep books from people soon after she quit. Without a fight, Dager Fitzgerald frowned. There was one Baines said, it was a doozy. But she's going to have to tell you about that. So far as the record shows, Karen left this school on excellent terms with the principal. She has a grand letter of recommendation from the book killer. Sounds like they must have struck some kind of a bargain. Dager Fitzgerald said, but what? Nora Baines laughed. I am sworn to say no more. I've probably said too much already. But I did not want you to think that Karen was a wimp. She came through in the end. She came through beautifully. Dager Fitzgerald put her fingers together and pressed hard. And now it's my turn, I suppose.