 When I was 17 years old, I had a massive massive loss in my life. I lost my mom and It was incredibly difficult But I'm not going to make this story about her in that time because it's something that I hold very near and dear in my heart But losing her kind of set the motion for everything else that was going to happen after and it truly Truly changed my life. So when I lost her I Felt like everything around me was just spinning everything was changing I felt like I had no control of anything around me and instead of getting into You know drinking or you know doing drugs the way that I handled this crazy change was by not eating and I went from 105 pounds to 82 pounds in the course of six months It was absolutely insane. It was incredibly unhealthy, but that was the way that I controlled my life I didn't become anorexic because I was insecure with my body or because I looked at myself and I saw something completely different I did it because it was the one thing that nobody could change It was the one thing that nobody could tell me to do differently or they could try but I was the one controlling it I remember realizing how serious it was when I went to the doctor one day and she had told me that If this continued that I had the ability to lose my period And on top of that I would lose the ability to have children and that's when I was like Okay, something needs to change So as much as I wanted to strive for a change during that time I had decided to move to San Diego I was a licensed cosmetologist I still am and I was able to get what I thought would be my dream job It was a very well-renowned salon in California and they had hired me on and I had no idea at the time That this dream salon was actually going to feed my eating disorder even more So I was working 40 hours a week not getting paid overtime was told that I had to wear Heels because I was too short to work there but I think what was really just the cherry on top was that I was not allowed a break not a 30 minute break not a 10 minute break nothing and You can imagine that when you're working 10 to 11 hours a day your feet are blistered and your hands are burnt from you know The curling iron and the blow dryer and you accidentally cut yourself That would really make things worse and that was the time during the day where I was really gonna eat So whatever calories I was at least able to consume when I was living up north. I was now getting No more than 600 calories in a day Absolutely awful. I decided to go back home and this is actually the first time when I came back home that I had actually started to eat again I was eating actually a very substantial amount and I remember going on Instagram and one of my old friends from beauty school had gotten into Something called bikini competitions. So I messaged her and I was like hey like how did you get the six pack? Like you look so good I want to get into this and she connected me with her coach at the time who followed clean eating Which was very restrictive. I would say but you know, we had six meals a day We had tilapia and asparagus, but I enjoyed it during that time That was a lot of fun for me and I felt like again. I had gained some control in my life That was something I seem to always be seeking. I started going to the gym You know my life became making my six meals a day and going to work and then coming back changing into gym Glows training, but I didn't realize until a few months later that I had a completely different calling so due to this overwhelming feeling I kind of funneled back into anxiety and depression and I've now come to realize that that is just a normal part of my life I've come to accept it, but it was very very high in this moment So the way that I decided to cope with it was by getting into a new hobby I started going on YouTube and Finding fitness youtubers and I remember coming across my good friend now Nikki and she would upload her workouts And she would talk about things that would help inspire people to keep training and to just stay motivated So I was like I could do this. I could definitely do something like this So I got my old little rinky-dinky camera that my mom had bought me years ago and I started to film Like once twice a week I would film my workouts and I would talk to the camera and I would take them through what I thought would be a journey To becoming a bikini competitor as time went on my passions to change It got more into powerlifting or just plain bodybuilding not really the need for competing But the whole idea is that my energy was now being invested into something that I really really loved doing and I was Reaching people I was connecting with people and because there weren't a lot of girls doing this at the time. I Was able to grow my channel really quickly. That's when I got into YouTube full-time It was actually in November that Clayton from HP Labs the head of sponsors sent me an email and he said hello, Jasmine We would be interested in collaborating with you, you know, we think that you're a perfect match for a brand You seem to have the same morals as we do and I really think you're gonna enjoy the products So you've got this brand But then you take a step back and you look at the creator you look at is you look at Clayton You look at everybody that is making this brand what it is and you realize that it's much more than supplements It's much more than helping you attain your fitness goals and helping you get that pump in the gym It's actually a community. It's a family and we have all created a stellar connection and friendship with each other You're able to see that it's it's so much more than your average brand You know, they really work hard to make everyone feel like they're a part of something That goes for the people that work for the company that goes for the athletes And that comes for all of the people that use the products It is definitely something that you can't find with a lot of other companies Being a part of the HP Labs family is something that I am so proud of something I always remind myself when things start to get a little rocky and bumpy is to let your struggles take you on an adventure because Most likely if you remain optimistic It's gonna take you somewhere really awesome when every door closes another door opens that is What my life has been and that's something I always always try to keep in mind because There's always a light at the end of the tunnel and there is always something better out there Waiting to change your life and bring on good But let your struggles take you on an adventure because I guarantee Remain optimistic 80% of the time something really amazing is going to come at the end