 Okay. All right. How did I like this angle? I don't know. Mmm. Well, hello friends, and welcome back to my channel. Today is the day. We are finally going to talk about my financial story. I know a lot of you love my financial videos and think that I have everything together, but spoiler alert, I didn't have my stuff together for a very long time. And PS, like I know I have like super curly hair today, so I figured I'd like, you know, wear a really baggy, crazy sweatshirt today too. So, you know, ying and yang, right? Ying and yang. If I'm going to talk about something uncomfortable, my clothing better be really comfortable. Okay. So I know I promised last week that I was going to film this video. However, I didn't have time and I was kind of dreading making it, just being totally honest here. And then also, I wanted to really think about what I wanted to say because I didn't want to leave anything out. A lot of times I'll film videos when I'm rushed and then I'm like, oh darn it, I left something out. I actually filmed a video earlier today where I left something out and then I have to do like a little annotation on it and it's just a big mess. So this is a video that I know a lot of people have had questions about and I wanted to address all the questions as well as talk a little bit more in depth about my life and my circumstances of how I got to where I am now. So that being said, I have this handy dandy little sheet off camera that I'm going to be reading from, not really reading from, but like it's just like bullet point items. I'm literally starting at the beginning of my finances and when I say the beginning, I mean the beginning, the putting the coins in the piggy bank beginning. So let's start from the top. So I can't remember how old I was, but I might have been six or seven. I know I wasn't in kindergarten, I was older than that, but my parents would give my brother and I allowance. I was the oldest, my brother is younger than me, it's just us two kids. However, I remember never saving a dime. It was as soon as we got our allowance, which was typically on a Sunday. It was gone by that afternoon. It was like, okay, well let's go to the drugstore and buy candy or buy a stuffed animal or buy a magazine or buy Legos or something. Like it was always something. So I never really had that savings bug right away because it wasn't really a taught thing and that's okay. Because I was a kid, I wouldn't have really absorbed the information anyways. So really for the time of actual allowance, it was kind of, as soon as I get it, it was gone. It was like, how fast to zero can we get this? What can I spend my money on today so I can look forward to the next allowance day? And then something interesting happened. When I was probably about maybe 10 or 11, maybe 12, the first Nintendo came out. And when I'm talking about Nintendo, I am talking about the gray first Nintendo. I'll insert a thing on one of the sides. I don't know where I'm going to put it. Maybe I'll put it right over my face. I have no idea. However, I remember that it was a hundred dollars and that to me seemed like so astronomically expensive. To me now that should be just like a million dollars because it was just like I'm never going to get there. But I saved all my money. I wanted a Nintendo so badly that for birthdays, holidays, everything, I asked for money. And I told all my grandparents and my aunts and uncles and anyone that wanted to get me a gift that I would rather have cash because I am working towards a goal I want to buy a Nintendo for myself. So if they wanted to give me something, I'd get like five, 10, 15, 20, however many dollars towards that. So in lieu of getting any gifts one year, I think I actually started saving in the summer, if I remember right. And then for Christmas, I asked for money only, which the grandparents gave me or whoever was going to get me a gift didn't actually get me any physical item. They got me cash, which was really nice because they'd always call my parents and say, well, what does Emily want for Christmas? And they would just say she wants cash. She's saving up for a Nintendo. My birthday is actually January 9. So also for my birthday, I asked for cash as well. So by the end of my birthday celebrations, I was able to buy a Nintendo, which actually came with two games. It was like the regular Mario Brothers and then Duck Hunt. And we all know how Duck Hunt went. Just like, I still want to kill that dog, right? You know what I mean? So anyway, that was a huge goal of mine. And we as a family actually played it quite a bit, even though it was technically my Nintendo. My brother played it. My dad actually played it more than anybody else. So anyway, I mean, he bought a ton of games for it after the fact. I don't even think I ever purchased another game, honestly. But I just really wanted a Nintendo and then I got it and it was great and we all really enjoyed it. And really after that, I don't really ever remember saving for another large goal, really ever again. So then after that, about 15, 16 is when I started working pretty consistently, you know, after school and in the summer times, babysitting, doing lots of different stuff. And as soon as I would, it was like kind of repeating my behavior. As soon as I would get money, I would let it leave me. And it was very, and I struggle with the way to express this. But it was very uncomfortable for me to have money. And I don't know why that was. It just made me feel really uncomfortable. It felt better for me to just give it away or spend it than it did to have it. It was kind of like, oh my gosh, I have this and I don't know what to do with it. Because I didn't understand how to save. I didn't understand how to invest. I didn't understand that, you know, essentially money didn't grow on trees. But it made me feel really uncomfortable to keep it. So I spent it. And sometimes I would spend it on gifts for friends or family or whatever. I could get it down to zero. The fastest was how I did it. So whether that being going out to dinner with friends and family, I'm paying for stuff or buying clothes or buying makeup or going out to the movies or whatever. It didn't matter. It was all about getting the balance to zero, the fastest. It was a sick behavior. And I mean, I feel very remorseful in a way for it. However, my brain also didn't really understand what I was doing. I was quite young at the time. And I never really had the tools to properly comprehend what I was doing and how this was getting me into really bad, repetitive behaviors for my life. So then later on in high school, well actually I was still in high school at the time that I was working and everything. But in high school, money was not a taught subject. I remember in, I think it was like home economics or something like that. We had one week of budgeting. That was it. And we literally sat with a checkbook and balanced a checkbook for one week. That was it. That was the entire money talk of my entire high school. I went to a public high school. I didn't go to a private high school. Not that that makes any difference because they don't teach anything in private high schools either, at least at the time when I was growing up. I graduated in 1999. So obviously some schools have done other things. Some schools don't teach money at all. I don't know. But that was just my personal experience. So it was really something that wasn't taught of how to save, how to manage money, and then also to how to spend wisely and how to make good financial decisions. Because we just kind of took a second grade math class where we were just adding and subtracting. We were adding deposits and subtracting withdrawals. That was it. That's all we did for one week. And it was, I mean, you kind of felt grown up like, oh wow, this is so exciting. I mean, obviously it was fake. Everything was fake. It was just on paper. But it was one of those things where I wish that they would have made a whole class about personal finance and money and how to manage it and compound interest and loans and all that kind of stuff that would have made a big difference. Whether or not I would have absorbed it, I don't know. But it would have been nice to have the information. And also in my home life, we didn't talk about money. It was more to the fact of my brother and I would ask my parents for money if we needed something for school or we needed clothes or there was a basketball game that I wanted to go to or a dance or something like that. And most of the time it was yes and sometimes it was no. And if it was no, there was never a reason of, well, Emily, it doesn't fit into the budget. And I didn't know what a budget was. I literally didn't know what a budget was. Because I'm sure my parents were having conversations about money, but my brother and I were not included in those conversations. And I'm not knocking my parents at all. It was just whatever their style was. So if I wasn't getting the information at school and I wasn't getting any information at home, I just kind of thought that finances just worked themselves out. I know that's crazy to say, but that's just kind of what I thought. So then I turned 18. And let me tell you, turning 18 was not good for my finances whatsoever. As soon as I was done with high school, I got so many credit card offers in the mail. It was ridiculous. Like there should legit be laws against how many credit card offers can come to you because I didn't understand my little 18 year old undeveloped brain to not understand what I was doing and where the money was going. So at the beginning I maintained about anywhere from three to four different credit cards. I think I had like three visas. Like why do I need three visas? And the credit limits were stupid insane. You know, they were anywhere from $500 at the lowest to like $5,000 at the highest because I didn't have any credit. So I was getting approved for so much stuff just because I was not a risk because I hadn't had late payments. I hadn't had anything because I was like fresh and new. And that was really scary looking back on it now. At one point, this is difficult to say, but at one point I did have probably about 12 to 13 different credit cards from different stores and major credit cards. Like I had a Gap credit card. I had a Victoria's Secret credit card. I had an Express credit card. I had a Macy's credit card. Like why did I need these cards? I didn't actually even use them, but I just had them open. Some of them I had totally maxed out and some of them I had no balance, but I had all this open credit. Like it didn't make any sense. Like I bought a t-shirt one time somewhere and I'm like, oh great, I get all this money back. And then I pay the bill and but I'm paying interest on it too. So none of it makes any sense. So I was just making really, really bad, reckless decisions with my life concerning all my finances. So from about the age of, I would say like 20 to 24 was like really bad. I had these credit cards. I got way in over my head. I was spending way more than I was making. I was going on vacations and trips and putting them all on these cards. And I would get the bill and I would pay the minimums and pay the minimums and pay the minimums, but I was getting nowhere fast. And a few years later, all of these cards ended up going into collections. It was just not a good situation. It was really, really bad. And for my own mind, I couldn't even understand where to start. I couldn't, I mean I talked to my parents a little bit about it at the time. I don't think I actually divulged exactly how much in debt I was because I had zero to short for it. I had nothing to show for it. I was going and having experiences and going out to dinner and buying clothes and going out and having fun with friends. Like I had zero to show for it. It wasn't like, oh, I bought a house or oh, I have a sofa or a car or something. Like I didn't have anything to show for it. So that being said, I didn't even know how to get started on actually paying off any of these debts. I had no idea. So then unfortunately, they all went into collections. And while they were all in collections, I need to back up a little bit. In the year, I think it was 2000, I was actually in a car accident. And after three or four years of chiropractic care, I mean I was fine kind of. My back was really messed up. But I didn't actually like go to the hospital or anything like that. But my back was pretty messed up. It still is messed up today. That's a whole another topic that we won't go into. But after three years of a lot of over care by my chiropractor, they were seeing me four or five times a week, which was ridiculous for the amount of care that I needed. My insurance that I was going through at the time denied my claim. So then I had a shit ton of medical debt on top of all this credit card debt that was starting to go into collections and in collections. So it was just a hurricane of a disaster in my financial space. So for a long time, I just had my head in the sand and I just thought this would go away. I just didn't really even want to deal with it because I didn't even know how to start the process. And then in 2007, when the big financial downturn happened, I decided, let's file for bankruptcy. I just couldn't do it anymore. I finally talked to somebody about it, talked to a bankruptcy professional, and they were like, yes, you absolutely qualify for this, you know, with the amount of debt, especially because of the medical. I mean, the medical way outweighed the credit cards at all. I mean, I don't even remember what the credit card debt was at, honestly, but the medical was ridiculous. It was like $70,000 or $80,000. I mean, it was nuts. And that's just the amount they didn't pay. I mean, the insurance company actually paid for quite a bit of it. They just didn't pay for the overcare part of it. I don't know what that insurance, or not the insurance, but the chiropractic place was thinking, they probably just thought I was some cash cow because I had a lawsuit pending, because I was hit by somebody else, but that didn't work out because they put the kibosh on that. So that being said, I went through a bankruptcy. Actually, it started in 2007, but I didn't complete it until 2008. The bankruptcy process in the state of Minnesota, where I lived at the time, and actually where I'm currently living, I moved in the meantime to North Dakota, and now I'm back in Minnesota. As my shirt says, by the way, do you like my shirt? It's really nice and huge and cozy. It's like my favorite thing ever, but anyway. So in the state of Minnesota, it was a very long process. I do not recommend bankruptcy for anybody. If I would have known about Dave Ramsey and the baby steps before bankruptcy, I probably would have never done it, but I'm really glad I did do it in some ways, and let me explain. For me personally, bankruptcy is a very humiliating process. And I know a lot of you make comments on my budget videos and a lot of my financial videos saying like, oh, you've got your stuff together. Like, you totally know what you're doing. Dude, I didn't know what I was doing for a long time. Like, a long time. And I hope this video will somehow explain why I am so hyper about finances now and why I love to share and be very transparent, because for the majority of my life, I was so guarded about finances. And now I just kind of let it all hang out, and it's so freeing and very exciting to me. But if I can help even one person out there, that's good enough for me. But the bankruptcy process is intense. And I can tell you about my personal experience. This was actually a long time ago, so I don't know what bankruptcy laws have changed or what has happened since then. I don't know. I did it through the state of Minnesota, so I don't know state by state how they do it. But mine was a very long process. Like I said, I started it in 2007 and I completed it in 2008. What they actually had me do is I went to the bankruptcy office, made a budget with a really nice woman. We talked a little bit, had to bring in my taxes and bring in some pay stubs and things like that. Talked about any of my assets, which I had no assets. She had me take a ton of literature with me, had me read through the literature, and then I waited. And then I think a couple of months later, I actually had to take a class online. And this was back before the internet was like super crazy high speed internet. I mean, there was probably high speed internet then, but it wasn't as high speed and technologically savvy as it is now. But I remember I had to take a class on the internet. I was actually on the phone taking a class on the internet. Like I had to be on the phone with like this group chat kind of a thing as well as like clicking through this stuff online. It was actually really interesting. But it was a four hour class, I want to say. And this was required. Because we were learning about finances. We were learning about how not to do this ever again. And it was so eye-opening for me. This was the first time that I had actually gotten proper information about what my financial picture should really look like. After that class was over, I felt just so empowered. Also very ashamed as to what I had done my whole life. And then I was just so thirsty for knowledge. I just, I never knew any of those things. And I just really wish I would have known. Because I could have made different choices. So then after the class was over, what happened after that was that I, we had to inform all of the people that I had debts with, that I was filing for bankruptcy. And then we had to wait for a really long time. I remember it was like, gosh, four to six months in between there. There was something happening there. And then I had my court date. And let me tell you, my court date was such a weird experience. I was actually talking to my mom today about my court date because no one went with me, because no one else was filing for bankruptcy. It was just me. And I really needed to do this on my own. So when I went in, the judge, or not the judge, but my lawyer met me outside of the judge's chambers, there was like a little room where there was like five or six people kind of waiting inside so we could hear each other's court proceedings. But we couldn't go in there until it was like almost our turn. So I was waiting out in the hall. My lawyer came up and talked to me about what was going to happen, kind of walked me through the process of what's going to be asked of me, you know, yada, yada, yada. And then we got to go in. And oh my gosh, when I went in, and my heart was just like beating like crazy. Like I just thought I was like the biggest failure and how did my life come to this? And it was just a really icky, icky experience. But when I went in there, I was listening to these other people's stories and I was just astonished. There was one woman that was actually the first woman that was having her case be heard that I was listening to. And she was, because you had to say your name, you had to say your age, birthday, like all of this stuff to the judge to make sure that you're the right person, first of all. And so she was around 40, like 38, 40, something like that. So the judge was making a comment to her that this was the third time in her life that she had filed for bankruptcy. The third time. And I'm like, oh my gosh, that is never going to be me. That's my first instinct of what I thought. And I know maybe that's horrible to say, but like that woke me up so fast. Like I was just like jaw on the floor. I don't know what circumstances that this person was in to have them file for bankruptcy three times in their life. But I just knew for me in my life that I did not want to make these choices anymore regardless. That was just a huge wake up call. I mean, I hate to use somebody else's bad circumstances as a positive in my life, but you know, sometimes you have to do that to get yourself out of your funk. And then after a couple more cases were heard, then it was my turn to walk up there. And I was so nervous. I mean, I felt like I was going to throw up. It was bad, just bad. But I survived and I got through it. And the judge was very kind. We had a good conversation about budgeting and what I had learned from the classes that I had taken. And we talked about my age and what I had been doing in the past and then it obviously hadn't been working and what I'm going to do in the future. And I have stuck true to all the things that I said I was going to do and not do. So the classes really helped. All the other stories that I would hear from other people definitely helped me along the way. I have never, ever in my personal life not claimed my bankruptcy. It is something that I will talk about if people want to hear about it. I'm not going to walk around and be like, Hey, I found the bankruptcy. You want to hear about it? Like, I'm not that person, but you know, whatever. But if somebody's considering it, I will have a conversation with them about it and talk to them about my experience of what I learned and that it was beneficial for me if you qualify for it. Sometimes people don't qualify for it and I get it. But if it was me now and I was in that much debt, I would work my way out of it. I would pay off my debt because that would morally make me feel better rather than just erasing it away like it never happened. So after that, your credit is pretty much screwed. It took me a long time to get my credit back up to where it should be. And I have already talked to a mortgage lender and I've been pre-approved for a home. Like I said, this happened in 2008 was my end of when I actually got my paper in hand saying that I had been through everything. If any other creditor wants to come after me that was listed, I have this magical piece of paper that says, uh-uh, no, you don't. But yeah, I mean, my credit was garbage, just garbage. So I had to kind of weasel my way through that and unfortunately you have to have those conversations with anyone you rent to or not rent to. But like rent from and be like, well what happened here? Why do you have a bankruptcy on your credit? It's like, well, I was really stupid with money plus I had a ton of medical debt from a car accident. So I had to file for bankruptcy. I couldn't pay it back. I didn't have the funds to pay it back. And legitimately I did not have the funds to pay it back at that time. I wasn't making enough money to even make a dent in that. The compound interest alone, I couldn't even make minimum payments on it after all was said and done. Even if I was living at home, it was ridiculous. So the bankruptcy all ended in the spring of 2008. And then in the fall of 2008, I made kind of a stupid mistake. I mean, I wouldn't call it super stupid because I still have it, but I bought a brand new car. And don't freak out, I got myself a 2009 Toyota Corolla. It was not a crazy expensive vehicle, I think. Because I think I put like 5,000 down and I, what did I do with that? Because I was saving for it as well. As I was going through the bankruptcy process, I learned how to save some money. I had saved about $5,000 and so I put that down on my vehicle. I didn't have a vehicle before. I actually sold it as part of the bankruptcy thing. And so buying a brand new vehicle in hindsight probably wasn't the best idea. But you know what? I still have it and it's paid off and it gets me from point A to point B. And that's all that matters. If I would have probably bought a used vehicle, I would have had to pay for another vehicle probably by this time anyways. So it probably wasn't the best idea for me to buy a brand new car right outside of bankruptcy. But you know what? I still have it. It's still a great investment for me. And the car runs great. And I'm very happy with it. I also had to open up a new credit card around that time to establish some good credit, if you will. This is back before I learned about Dave Ramsey and his teaching. So this is just my story, okay? I know I'm huge into Dave Ramsey, but this is exactly what I did. And really what I did with that credit card is I just paid for gas for my vehicle. That's all I did with that credit card. That's it. I didn't do anything else with it, just gas for my vehicle. And that has helped boost my credit up and up and up and up. And now I think isn't perfect credit like 800 or something. And when I got pre-approved for my loan, I think it was like at 750 or 765 or something like that. I mean, it was pretty good considering. So I think I was about like 50 points away from like perfect, if you will. Which is essentially like between like excellent and good like on the little chart scale that the banker lady gave me. I don't know. So anyway, so kind of closing out the car thing. And then I paid off the car. As soon as I moved to Fargo, I had paid off my vehicle. While I was in Fargo, I didn't really have a lot of debt. I mean, I had some debt. I had some student loans and some stuff from a medical procedure that I had done. But those were very manageable payments and things like that. And then I got really into the Dave Ramsey thing maybe about a year, year and a half ago to like the day that I'm filming this video. And I remember there was one year, not last year, or not this past year, but the year previous to that. So like 2015, I had no debt. No debt at all. I was a debt-free individual. And guess how much I had saved? Like you guessed it, nothing. I hadn't saved anything. I would constantly have my savings account that would go from $1,000 to anywhere for like $4,000. And then it would tick back down to $1,000. And then I wanted to hit $1,000. Then I was like, oh, I gotta bump it back up. And then I better deplete it. Like it was just this weird little thing I was doing. And I don't know why. But then at the very beginning of 2016, I got super hyper-focused as like, okay, I am going to buy a house. That was my goal. And I needed to put down 20%. If I couldn't put 20% down on a house, I didn't deserve a house. That's the way I view it. And that's what was going to work for me in my lifestyle and for me to feel comfortable. So since I was very hyper and laser-focused since the beginning of this calendar year, I have been able to save way above and beyond what I thought I was going to be able to save. I had already hit my goal. I think it was like June 1. I had already hit my yearly goal because I had taxes and I had birthday money and things like that that was kind of rolled into that. So anything extra that I got, I also had bonuses from my previous job. Anything extra I had, I threw right in my savings account and I didn't touch it. And now it is so difficult for me to touch any money in the savings account. And I don't think I have. And I don't know if I've had a circumstance where I have actually touched it in the last year, like the last calendar year. I don't think there has been. But anyway, I mean, it's nice to know that it's there. However, I just don't really mess with it. So since going through all of the really bad crap that I went through with money, that is in a nutshell why I am so hyper and laser-focused on saving money now. Why I think it's really important, it's really important for me to feel comfortable and not so chaotic and just, I just felt just nuts. Like I just felt out of control and that was not a good feeling at all. And now that I have control over my finances, I feel so much more peaceful, so much more at ease. I remember actually when I got laid off from my job after working for a company for nine years, so many of you commented, Oh my gosh, how are you so positive about this? I would be freaking out. You know why? Because I had a nice fat bank balance that I wasn't touching and I knew how much it costs for me to live. I knew how much my electric bill was. I knew how much my rent was. I knew how much the maintenance on my vehicle was. And I knew that I had more than six months worth of expenses in my savings account. And so I knew for six months, if I didn't get a dollar from anybody in six months that I could live by lifestyle I was already living without a problem. With no problem at all. So I just never felt that out of control feeling once I had that emergency fund in place. And if you guys want to learn more about Dave Ramsey, I will put his links down below. Actually right before I was filming this video while I was doing my, you know, my curly hairs, I was listening to his podcast. I don't listen to the podcast while it's like currently airing, but I download the podcast on iTunes. And then I'll just listen to it when I've got free time, like getting ready in the morning or just hanging out at home. But even just listening to the podcast just keeps me motivated. And also it gives me new insight on other people's issues and things that maybe have not even thought about yet. So the Dave Ramsey baby steps that I've gone through already has been number one is $1,000 in your savings account. Number two, pay off all your debts. Number three is three to six months worth of expenses in that savings account that you already put $1,000 in. And then now I'm on baby step three B, which is saving above and beyond the three to six months of expenses into a house fund. So I'm about halfway there for the house funding situation minus the three to six months of expenses. And for me, six months feels good of expenses just because I am a single person and I'm on my own. I don't have another partner that I can rely on for an income. So for me, six months, it feels very comfortable. And that's where I want to keep my emergency fund, but I am currently saving. So yeah, that is where I am sitting today with my financial story and journey. I'm going to close out the video because I know this is really long and I'm really sorry, but I know you guys had a lot of questions and I wanted to be able to answer them as well as I possibly could. If you guys have any questions, feel free to post them below and I will try to get back to you. My hope for this video is that I motivate you guys to understand my journey and why I am the way I am as well as if you are in a similar situation that I was seven, eight years ago, that there is hope that you can get out of whatever you're currently dealing with. Make a plan, stick to a budget, and execute it. That is the biggest takeaways that I had from that bankruptcy class is you make a plan and you stick with it and you make it happen and you can make it happen. And that out of control feeling that you sure we've all had is able to be pushed aside once you have that financial freedom in your life. So okay, I hope you guys enjoyed this. This was a really, really difficult thing for me to talk about on camera, face to face. Like, I'm definitely like owning all of my problems and my mistakes and my issues. So I'm kind of nervous about posting this but I'm gonna do it anyway and if you've made it to the end of this give yourself a thumbs up. Actually, give the video a thumbs up if you liked it. If you made it this far, you must have liked it. I'm gonna let you guys go. I hope you're having an amazing day and I will talk to you all in my next video. Bye guys.