 Hi, this is Pastor David Rosales, and I'm the pastor of Calvary Chapel, Chino Valley, California. Today, I want to share for a few minutes concerning marriage, especially as it pertains to husbands. Issues related to marriage and concerns about how to have a good marriage are common in the church. And of course, they should be because, after all, we know that marriage has been established by God and it is our desire to not simply survive, but to thrive in our marriages. With that in mind, I'd like to share for a few minutes with the husbands, because it is an obvious fact that the husband has a tremendous role in responsibility in marriage. Sometimes it seems that some men enter into the marriage covenant unprepared, while others come into the marriage more prepared for what they are committing themselves to. I remember hearing a woman say that men who have had pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bodjilry. With that said, God designed marriage to have husbands take the leadership role. This role finds its origin in creation and is intended to ensure order in the home. In 1 Corinthians chapter 11 verse 3, Paul wrote, I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ. The head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God. Man has been created to lead, but some men have a difficulty doing so. There are various reasons why this is true. Sometimes the wife refuses to be led. Sometimes a husband does not know how to lead. Sometimes husbands are simply afraid to take the lead, fearing that they will fail in their attempt to be what their wives need them to be. Others just do not want the responsibility and do not want to have to make decisions. Still, it remains that God has given men the responsibility of leadership in the home and is something that we husbands are accountable to God for. In 1 Timothy chapter 5 verse 8, Paul wrote, if anyone does not provide for his relatives and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. This is a serious role. And of course it is something that we husbands must learn to perform properly, to make it possible for our marriages to actually bring glory to the Lord. At this point, I would like to share a few things that might help us husbands to lead the home. In 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 7, the apostle Peter wrote, husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered. In this verse, we find several things that can help us as husbands to have a blessed marriage. First, Peter begins by instructing husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge. The word dwell means to intimately cohabit with their wives. This would mean that we are to know the difference between a house and a home. Our home is not my motel. It is not my shop and it is not my office. It is our home and my wife needs to know I recognize this. In reality, dwelling speaks of living with your wife, causing her to know that you enjoy being with her. I do hope your wife believes that you enjoy her company and simply being with her. Second, we dwell with them according to understanding. In other words, we make it our task to actually get to know her. We take an active interest in our wife and in her life. We get to know her personal needs. We take an interest in the entire home's daily affairs. We are considerate towards her and are interested in her life. She is to be the focus of my studies, and I am not to allow intrusions that will diminish her importance to me. My hobbies, work outside, activities that eliminate her from my life should be kept at a minimum. By restricting outside distractions, I can concentrate on my development of a good relationship. Third, I need to be a husband who is giving honor to my wife. Giving honor means to assign dignity to her. I do this by the way I treat her, how I speak to her and how I speak of her. Assigning honor speaks of verbally lifting her up instead of running her down. The way I speak to my wife or of my wife either encourages her or diminishes her personal value. Because of this, we should tell our wives how much we love her. We should tell her how beautiful she is and how much we need her. And we should make a practice of valuing her openly. Notice how Peter refers to the wife as the weaker vessel. That's because she's normally physically weaker and is tender. The point he's making is that the husband is to treat his wife with gentleness, with tenderness. This means that he does not verbally bully her or physically abuse her. Some wives come from homes where verbal and physical abuse was common. And because of this, they need tenderness to be shown to them, especially by the one who claims to love them the most. Paul instructed husbands to love their wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. So treat your wife like a lady. Help her to see that she is the most important person in your life. Yelling at her and being demanding is not the way to lead your wife. Bullying her and demeaning her destroys her. It breaks her spirit. Remember what Proverbs 12 verse 18 says, reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. As husbands, we must understand that we both are sinners saved by grace. We must also realize that we are one. And as a team, we stand together or fall together. Both husband and wife are equally called to enjoy the Lord and to enter his glory. As such, I have the awareness that my wife often reveals my true ministry. She is the greatest reflection and open expression of my walk with Jesus Christ. The fact is we are heirs together of the grace of life. She's not less than me, but rather we are equal before God. We are heirs together and we equally share in the need for the grace of God. I am to encourage her walk in the Lord. I am to be the man that she respects. If I minister to her, our prayer life will be fruitful. Our lives will be blessed. I must always remember that she belongs to the Lord and I respect her walk with him as his little girl. As such, I am to refuse to Lord it over her. I must conscientiously lead her in the things of the Lord. And as I do so, our prayers will not be hindered. My father and my mother were married for 53 years. My father suffered a heart attack and my mother called me to let me know and told me what hospital he'd been admitted to. When my wife and I arrived at the hospital, he was in the intensive care unit. My mother sat in the waiting room and began to share with me. She told me that when he had had the heart attack, they called for an ambulance. And when the call was completed, he took the time to pray. My mother then asked me, David, do you know what your father prayed? Of course they said, no, I don't know, mama. What did he pray? She then went on to say he prayed, father, take care of my wife. That was his final prayer. But that prayer was one of the greatest examples my father ever gave me. His concern was not for himself. It was for his beloved wife of 53 years. It was the last prayer that he ever prayed out loud. But it was the greatest example of what Jesus instructed the church to do. Husbands, love your wives. Let them know how important they are to you. Remember, if a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she'll never turn into an old nag. This is David Rosales, pastor of Calvary Chapel of the Chino Valley.