 And it felt so good to have a moment of independent autonomy from the control I felt I surrendered myself. It felt so good, but it felt so scary. And here's why, because when you stand up for yourself in any way that you do and reclaim yourself and reconnect with yourself and realign with yourself, you will feel instantly homeless when you've normally made that home in someone else. And the feeling of homelessness and the feeling of lostness and aloneness is felt a lot faster and a lot deeper than you returning home to yourself feels. So when I said no to him, I didn't feel, yes, I'm back home in myself, didn't feel at all, because I was miles from home. It was the beginning of a return to home, but home didn't come to welcome me enough. So I felt so out there on a limb that I wanted to go back inside his acceptance and say things that made it okay. And that's by the way, what most people do, and they never continue the journey, which I was tempted to do that day. So the sense of homelessness is so deeply felt that you abandon yourself again in those moments and say, you know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Or please don't misunderstand me and you start tidying it up and qualifying it, which makes your home back in their validation again. It's all done for good reason. There's no bad heart in us, but you do it because you'd rather you'd rather the home in someone else than the homelessness this threatening. You'd rather have your home in a home that you know is not home than risk being on your own on the streets homeless.