 I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey yes boys and girls it's comic weekly time and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness right out of the pages of the comic weekly straight into your living room your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man hello hello hello little miss honey how are you today I'm just fine too thank you why are you win suspense I'm just so worried whether he'll catch your Peter Pan all the boys and girls in Neverland you know I've been worrying about that myself well could you please read the comics quick fast enough so we can find out right away fuck the comic weekly yeah very well I'll read that in just a moment but before I do let's listen to this nice man here we go with pucks the comic weekly and on the first page under bringing up father Beatle Bailey very well my lady doot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle squeeze out music for Bailey the beetle we're out at the army camp where Beatle and his friends are stationed the sergeant is having problems a soldier runs into his office oh so I got a splinter in my finger and then another guy dashes in and such beetle climbed on the roof to get our baseball and caught his foot in the gutter I'll tell him to take off his shoe I'll be out in a minute okay Sarge I beatle the side says you should take off the shoe Sarge picks up a pair of tweezers and turns to the first soldier all right now hold still I'll pull out this splinter now go easy Sarge I got a weak heart please don't hurt me please don't hurt me third picture top row the sergeant comes out of his headquarter you see two soldiers fighting hey stop that fighting stop it just then another soldier approaches him oh Sarge can I have a pass to visit my sick cousin a sister yes a mother yes a grandmother yes but a cousin no at that moment something falls from the roof last picture top row it hits the sergeant oh hello Sarge it's Beatle whose foot was caught in the gutter and what loosened his shoe and fell out of it first picture bottom row the sergeant gets up clutching his aching back oh well I ever get out of here alive he sees two GIs monkeying with the water hose hey you guys stop playing with that holes a guy holding the hose turns around pointing the hose at the sergeant what do you say Sarge turn that thing off oh excuse it Sarge I lost my head well I'll lose mine if I don't get out of this army the sergeant goes inside his headquarters again it grabs a towel I'll have to go home and change clothes just then a ball sails through the window and last picture the sergeant comes home he's soaking wet covered with bruises his face banded he looks just like he feels a nervous wreck his wife greets him well I'm glad you're home early oh what a day I've had with the children oh shut up when he comes in the house looking like a wreck his wife who's sitting in a chair complains about her day I don't know why she should complain so they're not as much trouble as soldiers in the army oh I'm sure they're not well we won't argue about that now now would you like to read Peter Pan all right then let's turn over the page go past little iodine on page 2 past Prince Val on page 3 turn over that page yes that little pixie who lives in Neverland the place where little boys go who don't want to grow up and last week Captain Hook that mean pirates tricked Peter's friend Tinkerbell into telling him where Peter's hideout was yes and Captain Hook followed Tinkerbell's directions and came right to the spot and was standing outside the entrance to Peter's hideout last week when we left him well let's read now and find out here we go with Peter Pan say the magic words with me pirates crocodile Peter pie pan whisk up music for Neverland Wendy has told her brothers John and Michael that it's time to leave Neverland and return home to London all the other boys decide to go with them as they go up the stairs Peter snaps all right go on go on go back and be a grown-up see if I care sadly Wendy goes up the stairs and out the trapdoor and third picture top row she sees by pirates as she emerges from hangman's tree by internal gag her last picture top row Wendy sees that the boys have been captured by the pirates to first picture bottom row hook snarls away with them men the pirates take the children away and now hook takes a package in his hand and now smelly to take care of master Peter Pan but the captain wouldn't be more humane like to slit his throat I it words me but I've given me a word to think about not to lay a finger or a hook on Peter Pan and hook starts to lower a package down the hollow tree captain hook never breaks a promise me package plans at the bottom Peter sees it and picks it up he finds a note on it Peter with love from Wendy I wouldn't be a bit surprised we'll find out about that next week now look across the page to page five there's Roy Rogers and they were going to hang Roy in the old man Katie because they thought Katie had been the leader of the cattlemen on the raids on their farm let's read now and find out here we go with Roy Rogers King of the Cowboys I yep I oh now here we go with Roy and trigger I yep I oh two of the farmers hold guns at Roy and Katie's backs making ready to hang them Trent the leader of the farmers orders all right Rogers March Katie's daughter Oreo in a desperate attempt to save their lives quietly opens the cage that holds Katie's Falcon a hunting bird who was trained to attack anyone whom is treats her master the falcon sees the cages open and dark south she heads straight for Trent dives for his head and scratches at his eyes the man with the other gun turns toward the bird in the confusion Oreo darts to roar a knife in her hand and cut the ropes that find his wrist a second later Roy a snatched trench rifle off the ground last picture top row he orders all right Katie fall off your bird I got these men covered or you'll cut your dad loose all right come back here now lady come on black lady hey you men you keep those hands up first picture bottom row the bird flies to Katie he turns to Roy Roy we got a convinced trend here it ain't me who raised the nestish farms how can we do it well I think here comes Trent's son with the answer sure enough it is Pug Trent who has written off in pursuit of snapper Sloan leader of the cattleman hey Paul snapper Sloan got away when he dropped this he hands his father a bundle of clothes Trent examines them carefully hey I said a judge like Katie's when I rake and Rogers was right about snapper posing to scare cruel Katie in the rage all right let's go men Roy stops him hey wait wait let me go after snapper in his pal alone one man has a better chance of trailing a short time later last picture some distance from the mountain hideout Pete the cattleman who escaped with snapper Sloan looks back over his shoulder hey snapper that looks like Rogers trailing us how are we gonna stop him snapper looks back and pulls his gun out of his holster drops back a little behind Pete and then slugs him on the head like this so am I he hopes that Roy will stop to examine Pete's body that's what he hopes well we'll find out about that next week now let's go across the page turn that page over and there on page seven is Donald Duck and I'll read your favorite favorite right away here we go with Donald Duck let's say the magic words with me squeeze them squeeze them squiddly chicken check let's have music today Donald's grandmother Donald and Donald's nephews I don't have dinner at Daisy Duck's house Donald's girlfriend second picture they ring her doorbell Daisy greets them well welcome right in dinner be ready soon grandma answers well good hope it tastes as well third picture they all troop out into the kitchen the boys see a freshly baked cake on the kitchen table do we say oh boy chocolate may we lick the frosting fan Daisy answers why sure boys whereupon grandma says indeed not never a sweet before the meat remember the boys turn around and stomp out of the kitchen Donald shouts where are you going boys last picture top row Daisy opens the oven door to look at the turkey that is roasting grandma takes one look at it plain sake this bird hasn't been basted half and up but basted all your like grandma I'll make the gravy first picture bottom row Daisy starts to make the gravy grandma takes one look at the spoon full of flour that Daisy has measured out what making gravy with unsifted flour give me that bone Donald sees Daisy throw down the spoon and stomp out of the room you're going someplace yes to the movies lock up when you leave third picture bottom row Donald turns to grandma who is basting the turkey well well well looks just like you and me Daisy went to a movie what the hostess has walked out and grandma walks out of the room grabs her hat and heads for the door good bye I'm heading for the farm and a little later we see Donald alone in the kitchen with the dog and he has served himself and the dog generous portions of the turkey and Donald says I'm not dining alone I'm glad my grandmother isn't like that and I'm glad my grandmother isn't like that yes he did didn't they well now let's turn over the page and see who's there oh yes flash Gordon and I'll read that in just a moment but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say now here we go again with pock the comic weekly and on the last page of the first section flash Gordon magic words for the music please very well my lady regga regga dune dunes ask him a task let's have music for heroic flash on the moon base the space pirate mark had slipped into the moon station when flash was gone and captured Zarkov and Dale flash it hurried to the underground hangar hoping to trap Mark not seeing him there he's gone through the underground tunnel as he enters the moon station from the tunnel mark steps out from behind a pillar firing his electro gun flash stumbles backwards firing his rocket pistol wildly mark runs forward he slams the trap door shut and shouts to his henchman all right Gordon's trapped you head for the underground hangar at the other end of the tunnel get over there fast and hit him off last picture top row flash recovers enough to dash down the tunnel into the pit where his rocket ship is he grabs a dangling and swings himself upward toward the entrance of the cabin of his spaceship as he climbs into the rocket electro bolts from the pirate's guns be attacked to on the ship's hulls first picture bottom roll flash slams the rocket's airlock shot behind him one of the pirate shouts bring up the moon tractor will blast him with its cannon but before the pirates can unlimber their heavy weapon flash fires the starting rockets of his craft the hasty takeoff is far from perfect the ship lurches crazily as it rises from the pit barely missing a crack up against the massive concrete wall in the first few seconds of flight flash struggles desperately bring his huge craft under control last picture finally writing the ship flash sweeps around in a blazing arc maneuvering into position directly above the pirate's tractor he silences their gun with a terrific blast of rocket exhaust flame yes you bet he is yes let's hope he does I'm afraid we'll have to wait until then to find out but we don't have to wait to read Dagwit and Blondie and here they are on the first page of the second section we'll find out right now here we go with Dagwit and Blondie I'm a food I'm a fun Zim Zim zombie conjume music for Dagwit and Blondie it's late at night Dagwin and his neighbor Herb Woodley are on their way home Dagwit says oh we shouldn't have pulled that last name it's after midnight yeah our wives will be on the warpath for sure a short time later Herb dashes into Dagwit's house hey Dagwood my wife's not home she's left me yeah Blondie's gone too oh what can we do Herb last picture top row Dagwood walks into the living room drops into a chair and sobs and Dagwood Dagwood don't get panicked hey we'll uh we'll write out a list of promises and send it to him wherever they are first picture second row Herb gets out a sheet of paper and pencil our first we'll promise them never to come home late again ever Dagwood smiles happily yes sure and next we'll promise never to screw our clothes around the house or throw ashes on the floor yeah and we'll promise to shave every morning and keep the lawn mowed and we'll almost dry the dishes and wipe our muddy feet and last picture second row Dagwood carried away shouts enthusiastically let's promise them each a new fur coat that'll cleanse it yeah and new hats and a dress up piece first picture third row Herb looks at the four sheets of paper which are covered with writing and he says hey do you realize we've made over 50 promises life's gonna be terribly grim for us yeah I know I know it's going to be horrible Herb but we'll have to do it if we want our wives back second picture third row Blondie and Tootsie Woodley are on their way home Tootsie Woodley says oh I didn't realize that second feature picture wouldn't be over until one o'clock Blondie replies our husbands are going to be furious when we come in at this hour they come up the walk to the Bumsted House open the door and I met by Dagwood and Herb still standing in the door Tootsie says oh we're very sorry we admit we were wrong we beg your forgiveness Dagwood looks at Herb and Herb looks at Dagwood and they both go they've just been to the movies first picture bottom row Dagwood stomps the floor and rage this is an outrage coming in at this hour and Herb plenches his fist you should be ashamed Tootsie covers her eyes with her handkerchief to get ready to cry Blondie looks at the table and says what are these papers Tootsie looks up and reads the first line and the second and the third why it's a big list of promises to us and Blondie is reading the last page oh we're lucky to have such wonderful husbands and all the while Herb last picture is staring at Dagwood with a frown on his face and then he goes Herb stop Herb stop Herb has Dagwood on the floor and is throttling him I'll teach you not to get so panicky hereafter and then when the wives come in they don't have sense enough to put the papers in their pockets that was some joke on them no wonder Herbs mad Dagwood got carried away too much I'm afraid well now it's time for Dick's adventures so let's go to the very last page of the second section oh yes yes and Texas was ruled by Mexico and a cruel Mexican general named general Santa Anna and the Texans are trying to get their freedom from Mexico and one of the leaders of the Texans is a man named Jim Bowie and Jim and Dick have been captured by the Mexicans and when the Americans heard about it that is the Texans you know they rose up in arms and came to attack the soldiers who were going to execute Dick and Bowie but the Mexicans had put up cannons and the soldiers were all ready to shoot Dick and Bowie I wonder if the people will save them in time well let's read now and find out here we go with Dick's adventures say the magic words with me Dick and Jim face the firing squad the officer raises his sword Dick stares straight ahead waiting for the click of the trigger when suddenly the soldiers turn and start to run Dick looks around hey what's happening Bowie smiles grimly take a look at the stone wall behind you Dick Dick turns around to see first picture second row the wall alive with armed Texans who come leaping down and set off in pursuit of the enemy soldiers the resistance of the Mexicans is short-lived the Texans triumph and last picture second row in the plaza of San Antonio a flag is hoisted the old Spanish province of Texas is declared a free and sovereign nation east of the Rio Grande and west of the United States as Dick looks at the leaders first picture bottom row five citizens of the new Texan Commonwealth impressed Dick most Davy Crockett Sam Houston Jim Bowie young Bill Travis and Stephen Austin they were the brains and the inspiration that led the way in accomplishing the freedom of Texas one morning second picture bottom row Bowie wakes dick up hey bad news lad just heard the general Santana's government is setting up a big army to wipe us out and last picture with a few days supplies dick and Bowie ride out to rake an order they come to the Rio Grande and there they stop and wait canceling you bet they saved Dick's life and made Texas free yes they did well we'll find out more about that next week now look below Dick's adventure there's Rusty Riley oh yeah because you remember last week Rusty broke into the attic of the Dooley house and he found Miss Dooley was sick and dead and locked up there yes she was locked up there by the man and woman named Mel and Trixie who had told Rusty that they were the hired man and Miss Dooley and when Rusty ran downstairs to call a doctor just let's read now and find out here we go with Rusty Riley gallop and run till the road is dusty give us music for his horse and Rusty as Rusty hangs up the phone Mel says who are you going to call on that phone kid well I was just going to try to get a doctor from Miss Dooley she's awful sick so you've been snooping up in the attic huh well that wasn't healthy get in that room there are no stalling Rusty walks into the living room Trixie is standing by the table it's a good thing you're back Trixie his nosy kids been talking to you know who up there in the attic what'll we do with him Trixie tells Mel to lock Rusty up while they decide what to do last picture top row Rusty exclaims but I wasn't snooping I was just on the roof trying to fix the radio antenna and I heard Miss Dooley moaning Trixie answers okay okay it doesn't matter how you found out you know too much now all right Mel take him we don't have much time meanwhile in the town of honey hollow Jim Woods the storekeeper has been wondering why Miss Dooley has not come into town recently and why she's always had somebody else cash her checks for him has come to the bank to talk to the bank president about this first picture bottom row the banker is saying Jim here are all Miss Dooley's checks for the last quarter they seem to be in order these signatures are genuine Jim answers well it's not really my business Sam it just seems downright odd that she never comes to town yeah and it's clear that all the checks were cashed at stores and here at the bank unless I always liked the old lady I'm really quite worried him Jim let's take a little run out to Dooley's farm right Sam I think it'd be smart to pick up the sheriff on the way at this moment last picture at the farm Trixie and Mel are packing Trixie tells Mel that while she puts the stuff in the station wagon he knows what to do with the old lady and the kid that they should be out of the country before anybody finds them and Mel replies quickly where I'm going to put them it'll be sheer luck if they're ever found so am I because if Rusty ever needed help he needs it now yes but but do you think that they'll get there before Mel does something awful to Rusty well that's something we'll find out next week now that's all the time I had but before I go here's that nice fella with some more interesting information well honey and all your boys and girls I've got to go now all right Mr. Tommy weekly man but I'll be waiting for you next week okay that's a date and a date with all your boys and girls be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss honey next week when I read pot the comic weekly for I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man