 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm your host Jonathan Astley from Jonathan Astley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic the Five Signs He's Capable of Commitment Five Signs He's Capable of Commitment and you've got to look for these red flags Okay, really quickly if after this video this content resonates with you This is these are my Saturday morning videos very similar to the videos I shoot my private group called Midlife Love Mastery check out the links below where I shoot three videos a week based on the questions You ask so if you join the group ask a question. I'll shoot a video just for you in the group All right, and you can learn all about it in the link below. All right, these five things Five signs man is capable of commitment So as a dating relationship coach when I work with a client one of the fundamental principles I established very early on is are you seeking a casual relationship? Are you seeking a serious fully committed relationship that leads to partnership? Okay, so I want to differentiate the two because sadly many people are experiencing casual relationships These are relationships where basically there there's companionship connection and sex, but there's no real established Commitment in the relationship. There's no real established commitment other than maybe Monogamy and exclusivity, but that's the base level of commitment. That's layer one of commitment I want to take it to the next level. What does it take for a guy to fully commit? And so what's interesting? I was speaking to my best friend this weekend And this past weekend I should say and I was asking him his perspective because he's a man who's Capable I mean I witnessed him in relationships and when he's in he's in I mean he's definitely he commits to the person He commits to the relationship So I was kind of asking what's not what so much what your secret for that But why do you think that's such a challenge for most people what? Fascinated me is what he said next and he said because most people are emotional jackasses That was his word. They are emotional jackasses And what he was really saying is and this is he followed up by saying that their emotional IQ is incredibly low Their emotional IQ is incredibly low So it got me thinking about what does it take for a man to fully commit? And that's what we're going to lean into today those five signs. He's capable of commitment Really quickly Oh, by the way, my mug says coffee tastes better when shared and my t-shirt says the University of North Texas This is where my eldest son Colin graduated I know many of you hear me talking about my son Connor who passed away And I just want to thank you all for your kind Condolences and sympathies. I really appreciate it. I I appreciate every comment you post But this is my other son Colin. This is a picture of him and I And it relates to what we're about to talk about today. So that's Colin right there And someone asked me if I'd honor him and I'm honoring him today. So What's interesting about Colin is When I began doing personal development self-help and spiritual work I I started to infuse my children with it little by little I remember having them listen to Tony Robbins CDs in the car or Abraham Hick CDs or Mary and Williamson and all the different people that I love to listen to and One of the things I a book I gave Colin very early on in relationship is the book the four Agreements the four agreements and if you haven't checked out the book for agreements. I highly recommend it. This is a Bible to live your life by and This is when I say Bible I'm just I'm using that from the terms of something incredibly important And you want to choose men based on what's in this book because what we're going to lean into those five things So prevalent for this and this is what I shared and I'm Infused in both my children and especially Colin because I look at him now and while he's not perfect at these five things He's certainly more evolved for someone his age. He's 24 years old By the way, if you have a cute daughter send me a link to her Instagram so I can send it to Colin. All right Also, I'm single so send me a link up to anyone you think might be interested in me. Anyway, okay, so number one The first thing that sets a man capable of being a relationship is that his actions match his words his actions match His words consistently Now I have a child who isn't always consistent. I mean, he isn't absolutely perfect at it But he's consistent if he says he's gonna call me he calls me if he makes plans to spend time with me He shows up on time for the most part now He's a kid I cut him a little bit of slack because I'm his parent but in relationship you want to be with someone whose actions Consistently match their words. I think that's pretty obvious Right kind of leans into what's talked about in the four agreements Number two they take personal responsibility for their choices. They have a level of Victor consciousness and not victim consciousness sadly here Especially in the United States people are sucking on the nipple of victimhood in their emotional sense And I don't mean that people aren't victims of certain, you know Bad experiences, but their consciousness is stuck into I and you can see you can read these in posts By the way, you can read some of the posts that's listed here and you can read the victim consciousness I know you've told me have you experienced that have you experienced it for yourself? Have you noticed it in others? If you said yes, please post a comment below But victim Victor consciousness, this is one of the reasons why I wrote my book What the heck is self-love anyway? What the heck is self-love anyway? This is about empowering yourself in a relationship and when you're choosing a man you want to pay attention Does he complain about his ex-spouse? Does he complain about his job? Does he complain about his health? Is there basically this constant narrative of Complaining and not taking ownership of life because a person who's constantly complaining isn't going to be able to lean in Lean into a relationship Okay, number three and this is critically important They know how to do what I call fighting fair fighting fair and what I mean to say is they have good Conflict resolution skills. The reality is is most relationships are going to have tension So a person that knows how to do what I call fight there is not focused on being right They're not focused on being right They want to be happy. This is why if you haven't checked out the book eight dates Well, you know what we're going to pull up this book this time Nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg. You've got to check out this book. This is all about expressing yourself In such a way that you can be seen heard and understood but in relationship It's all about learning how to fight fair and I mean if you're in relationship with a guy and ladies if the penis Gets to go inside the vagina. I say that kind of a little bit capillarily, but my point is You should be introducing these books and talking about this stuff. This is the nitty gritty of a relationship Sure, you can talk about you like sushi me too. You like a stand-up paddle board my favorite thing I love the role you like the Rolling Stones. Yeah, I love them or in the case of my pictures Led Zeppelin and the who But that's just familiarity stuff that's not the meat of a relationship Ladies if you want commitment that you have to choose people that want commitment and that they're capable of commitment and Emotional maturity is the base foundation to create commitment and learning how to what I say fight fair Number four This is critically important to choosing a man because these are all Basically, if you're not noticing these things these are red flags These are red flags to pay attention for and the fourth thing is empathy empathy and empathy says not only Means I can you know, I can feel your feelings. It means your feelings matter to me If you watch some of my previous videos one of the first things a man who's really gonna who really cares about you He cares about your feelings your feelings matter Your feelings matter and if you are afraid to share your feelings Then you might not be in the right relationship And you might not he may not be capable of being in relationship if you're unable to share your feelings So you want to choose someone who has a level of empathy and Last but not least is transparency Transparency means he can share his feelings. That's the sign of emotional maturity because a man I'm gonna share another book with you in a second because a man who's unable to commit or has emotional maturity is Really, I mean he can be in a relationship with another human being a man or one by the way everything I shared goes both ways a Man or woman who doesn't have emotional maturity can be in a relationship In fact, they can be married to one another One another they can be committed, but is it really a happy relationship? And isn't what you want a truly juicy delicious loving relationship You know when my clients come to me and by the way, I just got an email from a client who went through my five-week boot camp Back a few months ago, and she wanted some support because she's in a great relationship right now With in a relationship She's never experienced before because she went through these steps to learn how to vet for emotional maturity Vetting for emotional maturity Ladies if you need love some support on that check out a link to my free discovery call because that's my area of expertise As a coach and that discovery calls to see if working with the coach is right for you because if you're tired of wasting your time Beating your head up against the wall with men who are incapable of commitment that let me support you on that But if you're not ready for coaching definitely check out my VIP group midlife love mastery below Check out the links to all the books. I recommend. I'm gonna recommend one more book before we wrap up today. I Picked up this book about a decade ago, and I use this for a lot of content I come up with but the book is the real reasons men commit the real reasons men commit why he will or won't love honor and marry you Now a lot of this content is based for those They're emotionally weak Emotionally weak men, okay, because an emotionally mature man who's really emotionally mature You're not watching this video Because you're in a happy relationship an emotionally mature man just like my friend is all in he's fully committed You're not watching this video. I want you to pick up on the clues to prepare you these red flags, so you don't waste Weeks months years or decades with the wrong person. I Want you to start choosing better. That's what I'm here to help you with Okay, I realized I didn't curse in this video. So we'll say fuck Because I did say jackasses. I mean that is a form of cursing I don't want you to spend time with a bunch of knuckleheads a bunch of clueless men Who are incapable of commitment and I want to help you lean into The type of guy who wants to lean into you and I hope this content resonates with you If you have a question or have a comment, please post it post it below I do my best to read all of them again if you need some support check out all the links below Schedule a call with me join my group by the books. I'm here to support you All right I'm gonna wrap up this Saturday morning video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear a hug of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or even a teddy bear and give them a hug right now Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now