 It is another beautiful time that we are back here to do what we know how to do best and that is discussion and the discussion of the day to day is about relationships and relatives like when and how do you introduce your better half for your date to your relatives you know it is a learning session so we are going to really learn how to do it. My name is Sankara Kaisu and this is white five four and this is one in the morning and I am not alone in the house being Queens Wednesday I am with very beautiful Queens here try on and Lillian try on and Lillian you are going to tell us more about you you know you camera is on you Lillian you are going to tell us everything about you like your name you where you come from what you do your social media handles everything welcome Lillian. Okay thank you very much okay I am Lillian Lillian Nyango but mostly I am known by Lillian Ahony in my social media like in Facebook I am Lillian Ahony in Instagram like Ahony lifestyle and in link in Ahony lifestyle as well then I am a journalist by profession and right now I have a blog I read about I vlog about lifestyle stories yeah oh thank you thank you Lillian you are welcome to have a fun it's your first time you you are a journalist so it's going to be easy for you by the way Lillian was my schoolmate or classmate at a point so I know who I'm talking about and by the way before you forget she was named after my mom Lillian and Lillian princess Julie hi mom I know you're watching then we have try on try on hi thank you yeah tell us everything that Lillian told us and more um try on TG my Instagram handle is underscore try on TG um I study at Jayquat public administration that's it oh your social media handles you've said all of them Facebook Twitter Instagram only you are only in Instagram why what what how did Facebook wrong you in any way Facebook is just too much okay maybe maybe there are those of us who are only on Facebook so maybe we are used to being too much but now the elephant in the room is about these relatives thing there are people who you introduce to your parents and the following day he leaves you that's why we are here in asking even on our Facebook page and Twitter and Instagram that when is the right time for you at what level of relationship do you introduce your date to your relatives I think you we start with you you tell us when do you think it is uh I think you can't put like a definite time to read but you you can just tell just why the relationship I hope you and maybe it doesn't mean it so much my friend Val used to tell me that when he puts you here dancing you thought you are very loud you sleep here so you beg it on sacrifices the day he will start maybe investing in you and all that yeah it's a lot of stuff sacrifice how he treats you you'll know but now it's the right time to start telling my sisters and aunties that they have okay so according to you start from the four relatives the parents is where you do it last yes and final oh okay really on your opinion on this according to me I think that the right time is as soon as it makes a logic feeling that you feel like this is the person you can't just meet someone like two days ago and the next minute you're like oh I want you to see my mom I want you to see my dad you must see that this person is okay this is the person I want yeah so as soon as it makes a logic sense just introduce that person to your parents but you think you can think it's making sense kumbaya it's all hoax because what you what somebody told me on this same forum is that men can do everything maybe to get the rights their bedroom right the conjugal rights and then after that maybe you can a man can fly from here to London just to get by his biologic sense I mean that you must study them you must see if they really love you you can't just like see that this making sense after two weeks you must give them or maybe two months not two months maybe five months like two months so soon yeah five months you say somebody cannot pretend for too long yeah so how long can maybe somebody if you how long do you take to study somebody if he's pretending or is real I think one and a half months tops one and a half months so you feel somebody cannot pretend for more than one and a half month pretend for more than two months people can pretend I know people can pretend to get what they want okay they can pretend up to one year after one year according to that they can pretend to get what do you have any personal experience about that personal experience about at somebody pretended to love you for some time then you realize later that maybe doesn't love you yeah I have an experience but I can say that that we have a serial that he wanted to introduce him to the to his parents I'm not sure about that but he pretended to love me that's what I can say for how long okay it's for like two years yeah it was two years what do you think try on you said about one week she's like disapproving your statement that somebody cannot pretend for too long really he's telling us somebody pretended to love her for two good years I think you just knew the situation no someone can't pretend for two years and you can't see the sign for two years okay for two years I was there seated I knew that I have number one then all of a sudden something happened so then I come to know that I'm number two I don't know how guys behave by the way but I just know that after some times I just realize that this person he has someone else maybe maybe you know what run is saying is that uh maybe this person really just loved you but maybe you dated for too long until maybe and then things went and I wonder how you knew you were number two how did you know why did you know you were number one then there's number two almost so cute yes it's possible try on that somebody can love you until uh you know this should also be like a discussion for another day how long should you date somebody and then maybe you get into serious things like the next step yeah the next step like this Lilian was dating somebody for two years no serious step had happened yeah 24 months yeah 24 months did he like open up to you and tell you that there's somebody or you just investigated and went I didn't investigate it was kind of telling me let's give it a break and then you don't know if a man tells you let's give it a break so obviously a breakup put in an envelope that's so that you can't know what is inside so I was there seated okay let's give it a break because maybe he was going through something he was stressed out about his mom and I was like okay let me just give him time maybe he just went to a break but in real sense what does break mean in this sense like you don't communicate you don't meet you don't do what like what does a break really mean a break means that he just wants me to like give him a break he wants to be himself maybe when I'm with him he's not himself so but actually what it really means when you open the envelope it is a breakup inside the envelope I just want to get to know this better when now during this break is it now this time that you started investigating I knew there was somebody or okay I felt changes like when I called sometimes don't be like he doesn't pick my calls then sometimes when I sent him messages he doesn't reply after two weeks or sometimes he doesn't reply away for ages to for him to just reply like you have long durations and then reply the message after two weeks after two weeks already he doesn't reply at all how are you then day one day two day three up to day 14 I am fine in the 14th day and then his message is ready to be shot very short he doesn't write the photograph like he used to like he used to be how are you my darling you you text and then fine I was the one pushing the conversation actually and then I felt like something is amiss here be the coach now try on tell us what you think about the whole this whole thing yes I don't think he was a pretend what do you think I just think maybe you guys started misconnecting somewhere at some point but he wasn't pretending all the way through someone who pretends they don't even have the time to tell you let's take a break because they don't care I'm done with you that you think you think she could reignite this love and come it's just over I just think the break was a breakup he doesn't he just didn't want me to tell me that let's break up I'm learning something that when a man tells you a break there's just up missing at the end of that break it's a breakup you agree yes I agree and if it's the man who breaks the relationship yes it can't happen again it can't reconnect what if you still love him try on how to put yourself first what is how how because that's just toxic there is no point of wasting your emotions with someone who doesn't care but don't you think it is selfish try on for you to be the people breaking relationship now men don't break you're the people who feel it is it can work or feel now it cannot work try on that's just the norm of life she'll take it as it is do you have like do you have an experience in in maybe such a thing a breakup or an introduction to family I have two the first one I just it's like I just knew so I was ready you were ready for the breakup yes that's why I'm telling her if someone pretends you'll just know you'll always just feel something is amiss you know how did he do it the first one yeah he didn't ask for a break or something will it take stuck with jibu or something how did you know that now it's over oh we can't India or maybe a social needs okay let's get back to introduction that was by the way you told us you gave us a tip that you start from far relatives yes maybe cousins or maybe uncles and aunties how do you do it like you just tell auntie that I'll visit you this weekend and you surprise her with this man or maybe you meet in town or maybe you bump into them if anybody has an experience in that I love experiences or if you have the best way that you think it can work maybe to these four relatives first because you're the person who gave us this tip yeah I think when you start introducing the the mind to the four relatives it's easy to to see how he'll relate to them how he'll treat them oh so that is just maybe a test an experiment yes because someone who really cares about you but now there are people who don't they don't okay so according to you you go to them or you invite them maybe to your place or maybe you meet just a facade in town um not to their place you said you start from the places like hotels you just go for lunch you know yeah for lunch and then you invite maybe that that cousin then for lunch over lunch and I was and I was surprised to go now I'm here by the way this is my boyfriend oh this is my boyfriend is buying us my boyfriend my boyfriend or a friend this is my friend so even the other side of the intro maybe what you want one on one one after the intro one by one like where to corner lily and or lily and maybe in your relative to corner where so when I introduce a lot when I introduce lily and I will let them introduce themselves I usually feel if you don't introduce the person you're with it's kind of not disrespectful but it's a value oh yeah I'm making them want to feel no kind of oh you can just let you to introduce me mistaking I'm not proud of you you know yeah yeah to take a stand and say so this is so-and-so and this is so-and-so I can say that maybe you can start by someone close to you maybe if uh okay according to me maybe I'll start with my brother I'll tell my brother I want to introduce you to someone and then I tell them this is my boyfriend so I feel I make them feel comfortable around each other like I want him to know my brother I want my brother to know him so after they know each other then it will make it will make them comfortable that if I introduce them to my family they will feel comfortable as well and my family will also like okay they know my brother he knows my brother so there will be that family thing it will be a family already so if I go there and introduce him to my family it will be comfortable as well to me it's all about comfort oh yeah as long as he's comfortable create the comfort if you love someone create comfort for them you can't just go tell me mom to hear you see here is my my boyfriend you must have mentioned prior to oh mention them tell me mom I have someone I have a guest yes yes I have somebody so maybe at some time you will come here yeah maybe you don't surprise them I am imagining you pooping his name maybe during their meals oh you know green grams are good but my boyfriend doesn't like but Brian doesn't like this yeah and then there will be with a good surprise uh let's get to now the opposite side when he takes too long before introducing you to anybody in his family what do you think what do you think try on red flags red flags even a sister yes hey after after how long do you want to be introduced after how long try on after maybe four months according to me after four months yeah okay according to me I think this four months because he must make himself ready yeah for you he must prepare everything maybe he's living in that single room he want to make comfortable he want to make you comfortable maybe you are okay he's not okay with this family like the issues of the family there are many in the family so like he just want to create that comfort for you maybe he's not saying alone people are different and I love that because you are good variety you are you are different like two of you are different try on as a sprinter you are a marathoner like try on once things to open very fast very fast but Lilian is cautious I think you you are melancholic you are an introvert she's an extrovert extroverts once things then then but melancholic extroverts are careful I don't want this to happen or maybe I want to this to happen now tell us on your part why you think it should be as fast as possible because this man he cares about these people and if he really loves you and cares about you he'll want the both of you to meet like the same way you said I'd want my guy to meet my brother get to know each other the same way this guy should want you to know his maybe his sister a cousin they're close to when you want to making jokes nice something like that okay that's okay but I'm say I'm talking about maybe the parents the parents went to meet the parents and went to meet the friends but if this guy wants you to meet the friends here and I am at the event but if you get to the event you know I'm at the event but they're gonna attack at your relationship with Siri come on I'm at the event okay I'm gonna introduce you to your for you I'm talking to Siri Bless him, it was introduced to this one. Then this time, I'm in Guinea. Bless him, he'll require blood. Okay, now we'll talk about preparation. How to maybe preparing if you want him to meet your relatives. How, what things do you think you should tell him to be aware of? How do you prepare him? What do you think it's, there's need to prepare him. Okay, how do you do it? Because as for John, he's a great hit show. So, he's the one who has the character that he's going to meet his relatives. He has all the stories, he's the one who's going to meet his family. So, he's the one who has the character that he's going to meet his relatives. This is how I approach this one, this is how I approach this one. When I would at Rambia, how you should prepare your family. Prepare your family that somebody is coming. Apart from, he doesn't even know himself. But I don't know anything about him. How do you prepare your family that somebody is coming here soon? Okay, like, okay. I'll start by maybe making the house clean every time. And then I sit my mom and dad down and I tell them, okay, now it's time. I know I haven't introduced you to someone for long now. I think now it's the time. Okay, just tell them. I know it's, okay, too much of that courage to tell your parents that I want to introduce you to someone is so difficult, but it'll be easy. I have a cousin called Barry. I salute her because she was the first person to introduce the boyfriend to the family. And they ended up wedding. She was in school of journalism, if you can remember, very lucky. She just went and, during the meals, said, but dad, mom, I want to see you after this meal. I have something I want to tell you. Yeah, those people are curious, saying, oh, does she want to tell us? She may be pregnant. Or maybe she wants to come again. Then sweet surprise. I am seeing some courage when you're in Luleland. And it's my friend. And I want him to come and see you here. These guys were speechless for some time. Don't you think she's too young for that? Because she was in third year. Don't you think she should finish school first to come? But at long last they accepted and, you know, she has done what no other girl has done in this family. You don't have any courage, son. Huh? You don't have any courage. Come on, that's a good idea. Joe, okay, me and you have the same experience. So I'm just wondering, how will I start? To guess, maybe my mom will come. So I'm going to tell my mom to come and say something else. So just tell her, mom, I have a guest and I want him to come and meet you. Maybe, yeah. That is just simple to start with. I don't know. You've no time later. I don't know. Because I know it takes courage to do that. Are you anticipating to get to that day or are you just nervous? I am. Okay, I'm nervous about it. Just to think about it makes me sick. I mean, how will I start doing this? Like, seriously. What do you think? For my case, it's just easy. So just tell my dad, I have a male friend. The moment it's just male. You have to ask her to add one place one. I'm not relative. Somebody told me that part of preparation is maybe if you are off, you are in bad terms with one of the relatives, say your brother, sister. You start being nice to them. Do you ask for permission? That's a good point though, yeah. I'm speaking over Ibu. It's a case of somebody who went to introduce a man. And then the grandma was there. It doesn't look like that other guy you brought there that time. He looks better. But that one was tall and broad. So I was talking to him. I told him that situations come by, you know, some grandmas when maybe there were trouble some at their youth. The trouble comes back when they get old. And one has a kufi. Will you hide your grandmother if she is like of that time? But that's what you were saying. By the time introducing your guy. I'm not close. You know this is a serious relationship. So at that point in the conversation, I'm like, I'm the one who is in trouble. So if the grandmother says he's what or what, he knows I'm the final. So it's okay. Yeah, and maybe to add on a point, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must, you must to create doubts in your life. Maybe I should try something else, I will try taking a loan from you. You might be able to create doubts in your life. But if you're left with this solution, you can make it like, maybe 5 months out of school, you can join a visionary. After you have to get them approved, you can say that's just me. This is what completes me. This is what I want. And so even though you are done volunteering, This is where I am. I am and this is my place. I told her, you still insist. She said, I'm black and she said, I'm brown. She said, I'm pooping and I'm in the bathroom. She said, this is true. This is what I want. So she said, my arguments and comments are the same. It has affected me. But you can bring some complainers. Najua Philiam too had introduced girlfriend work. She was not so beautiful. Sorry to say. So she said, who is she? I told her, she is my lawyer. I told her, I'm a lawyer. You compliment that other side. You can use that also on your man. Meet James. James is my man. I told her, who is she? But when she introduced me, she said, man, I told her, I'm a lawyer. She said, hello, I'm your lawyer. I told her, really, I'm not someone who wants to get married. I am preparing soon after we had Tugayu I thought he was going to be my friend and i served him he was like i was curious why he is here he asked me if i had Tugayu I thought it was because of you I know I am your friend he told me he took her for Tugayu I thought he was going to give me Tugayu I was surprised to find out that i was your friend The other side of him, but I've seen him before I forget, Marathona, I've been saying for five months, five months I want to introduce, what does a sprinter say? Five months? The other side of him I want to introduce, what does a sprinter say? Three months How many months? Three months What's the introduction? Yeah, you're right. We do that many times, and we do a lot of people do it. We introduce them, and we do it separately, and we do it together. But we study together at some point in five months. We do it together and we introduce them. I understand. You know why I don't want the introduction to be too fast? The best men who we would use that introduction. You're not allowed to introduce to your parents. I never came here. I was quite a troublemaker. You just had to introduce yourself. I was just a troublemaker. I was a troublemaker too. Even though I introduced myself, I'm still in the study. I didn't know if I would be introduced like this. In the first place I was also introduced as a foreigner. I went to the study room. I had to introduce myself too. I was still in the study. So, I came here to study. Okay, try on. Try what you think of maybe a family situation. You guys are very poor, but you are the thing. Somebody who has a lot of money. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to my house, I'm grass-touched. I'm not saying that it's not bad. It's bad to be in such houses. But it's practical. There are so many people still in Kenya. In Kenya, we are still in mad grass-touched houses. So maybe your situation is, sorry, you are in a sorry state economically, but they are well off. Tell me how you handle such a situation. You avoid going home? Sir, the five months that I was in, I can maybe buy time, because obviously at that point, by the time you decide you want to introduce someone, you're also maybe financially stable. I want to stay at my house. You want to stay at your house? Yes. Because in that relationship with my mother-in-law, I want to stay at your house, I want to stay at your house. I want to stay at your house, I want to stay at your house. I want to stay at your house for just three hours. I don't want to go back to my house. Because your house is a cemetery. What can you do? I want to stay at your house, I want to stay at your house and you can stay at your house. You can introduce them to your parents. I want to stay at your house and you can stay at your house. That's the thrill. If you have time, I'll go and take this time. I'm going to make my house as safe as possible. I want to stay at your house. I want to stay at your house, I want to stay at your house. You can do makeup. We are not doing real-life makeup. We do the introduction and do your introduction. Just tell him come and see how I do it. What do you want to do? I want to stay at your house. I want to stay at your house. But you know how Tryon was arguing is that it will pop up maybe later in your, maybe marriage, life come up to one or another, you go. Don't let me ring you up and let me limp you up on top. You know what I'm saying? Life equal, even your life equal, I think I'm going to change, I think I'm going to change. I'm not going to change, I'm going to correct myself, I'm going to correct myself by the way. You know what I'm going to do, I'm going to correct myself. Can you do the same if maybe one day you're going to go on that sort of state? Yeah, I understand. One day you're going to go and eat, it's traditional tools. And then you're going to eat dishes that are dark, black, black, you're going to eat hamburgers, you're going to eat corn. And the way maybe you're a town girl, your daughter is our minister. Can you handle that? Especially with the Kenyan Nairobi ladies, Villanova Juah? I will handle it too. Come on, you can handle it too. You're going to say that you are not going to love it. If you want to do that, you can handle it too. If you don't, it's not going to work. You have a different opinion. If you're not going to love it, if you're going to love it, people will ask you, there's no way. You're going to travel even though you meet the parents, you talk to the parents, you love the parents, because now they've become your parents. I don't want to get married. You make things different. What's your opinion on the drama I'm itching for? I don't know. I don't want to get married. Who are you to be honest? It's so misty. Do you know what I'm trying to tell you? Yes, the feelings won't change. But I don't want to get married. I don't want to get married. I don't want to get married. I don't want to get married. I don't want to get married. He has to pull out the socks. I'm an emotional student. I don't want to get married. What? I don't want to get married. I want to get married. I want to get married to people. I want to get married to people. We're not talking about the people. I'm a man, I'm a woman, and I'm a man, and I'm said there, I'm a helper. You go change that. You go change the situation. Okay, now if you want to change your opinion, you can make better. I got the best set of you to me. Different, as different as art from heaven. Very different. Whereas I was it on a retina, whereas I'm at a stomach. With a sprinter, with a marathon. The same way for me, Mr. Manita, thank you very much. Even if you want to take a stand. What's your name? You are first house. Where come from? I know where you come from too. There's something called Simba. Simba is this first house boys build in their homestead. You can't go to that house if it is grass-touched. When it's your, maybe you're married, or a wife. It's grass-touched. It's maybe, leave or two. You're in the house, do you know what you're the best at. Yes, I do, I do know what my parents are. They're our own sisters. I think they're maybe brothers, or parents. No, they're not. They're not in the嗎. They are the same. Do you still have money? Actually, I don't have. Just what kind of grass-toucher are you? and then five years down the line it will be great, I wish I knew it will be to me stuck yeah, and a baby but die on the agenda but die, yeah okay you start from somewhere small then you grow you don't stay there the parents who do background search like they want to know they want to know how your family are like maybe economically, socially one has a great boyfriend who is your father what does he do if you come by his do you think you can stomach that or maybe you can tell your parent just to be able to die come on Adra, you cost buy those, buy those oh, and if he doesn't want to buy parents to be able to die because if he will get to that point but I don't have any potential but you know the background dig is better it used to happen traditionally so that the parents protect you from going to a bad family like a family of witches and all that yeah, NETRONUS you are later are you at that point with Zoya do you encourage your parents to do such a thing yeah, I would you would you can encourage them that I don't know if it's kind of something that was done in the past but I think I would encourage them to do that but maybe if I go to a family I go to a good family some parents may insist to meet the other parents first or maybe send a spy to spy about that family before they give a nod but you girls are different you can say you can say you can say you can say you can say it's tricky it's tricky give us your final word your punchline on how you can advise on this introduction to relatives thing as you wind up I will advise that before you introduce someone you are significant other to your parents you must make them comfortable I am going to repeat this make them know that you love them and make your parents know that there is someone coming home and if you create the comfort your family will be comfortable your by the family I mean everyone cousins, your brother and they are grandmother the grandmother and you are significant other okay tell us give us your potential on the whole of this matter of introduction before you introduce someone just be sure don't assume the red plugs trying to paint them blue or white and when you are sure make the step that's it from me is that you know what's good for you but your parents also know what's good for you if they advise otherwise please don't wait to regret later do what you wanna do but listen also to your parents this has been a man woman crush when is the WCW and it's been with me with two beautiful queens till we meet next time salut