 Item number SCP-447 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-447-1 is to be kept within a 50-gallon clear plastic container at all times, monitored by camera by a security level 3 or higher staff member to prevent overflow. Areas to be maintained at level 1 clean room status to prevent contamination by foreign matter at a site at least 10 kilometers from any cemetery, morgue, or mortuary. Under no circumstances is SCP-447 to be allowed to come into contact with dead bodies. Because SCP-447-1 constantly excretes a viscous greenish slime designated SCP-447-2, at a rate of approximately 10 cc's an hour, a class D personnel in good physical condition is to be detailed to harvest the excreted slime at least once per day. SCP-447-2 can be harvested using any appropriate equipment, so long as safety procedures are carefully adhered to in order to prevent on-site fatalities. Slime can be transported in an ordinary sealed glass or plastic container through any standard mode of transportation, provided that there is no risk of the slime coming into contact with a dead body en route. Although maloderous, the slime harvested from SCP-447-1 is non-toxic, non-corrosive, and non-radioactive. It is, in fact, perfectly safe so long as it does not come into contact with a dead body. The slime is edible and reportedly makes a good salad dressing. Adding 10 cc of SCP-447-2 to 1 gallon of gasoline improves fuel efficiency by 150%. Furthermore, SCP-447-2 can be refined into a useful lubricant, approved for use in all SCP Foundation installations, so long as said lubricant is never used to lubricate dead bodies. All staff assigned to SCP-447 are to be screened by polygraph for any suicidal, necrophiliac or homicidal tendencies. In addition, all staff assigned to SCP-447 must be in good health and good physical condition and must adhere to on-site safety regulations at all times. This is to minimize the risk of SCP-447, or its generated slime coming into contact with a dead body. Description SCP-447-1 is a green sphere, approximately 5 cm in diameter with a spongy surface texture and a weight of 1.37 kg. The object is warmed to the touch, approximately the same temperature as a human body, although its core temperature is slightly higher. Personnel handling SCP-447-1 have reported no adverse effects, so long as SCP-447-1 does not come into contact with a dead body. SCP-447 was retrieved by Foundation agents on b***** in the city of B*****, California, United States of America. The incident clearly illustrates the danger inherent in allowing either SCP-447 unit to come into contact with a dead body. The dangers of allowing SCP-447-1 or 2 to come into contact with dead bodies have been clearly documented. Detailed eyewitness reports can be found in Appendix-447-B prior incidents. To summarize, however, initial effects include data expunged per 05 level directive. Research into this field forbidden upon pain of immediate termination or demotion to Class D. Please contact your supervisor for more details. Addendum-447-A SCP-447 downgraded from Keter to Safe, so long as security measures are in place to prevent SCP-447 from coming into contact with dead bodies. Please see Experiment Log-447-A for further potential applications of SCP-447. Experiment Log-447-A Experiment Log-447-2 Approved by 05 Project Head, Dr. A. Cleff Date, Expunged Test Subject, SCP-882 Procedure, SCP-447-2 was refined into a lubricant, SCP-882 was temporarily removed from its seawater bath, and SCP-447-2 applied its lubricant to all joints and connections. Results Although SCP-447-2 was successful in reducing grinding and noise by 50%, it was also successful in removing rust from the structure. SCP-882 was immediately returned to its seawater bath, and staff on hand were placed in quarantine for examination. Notes Let's not try that again, shall we? Dr. A. Cleff Date, Expunged Test Subject, 1 Guinea Pig, Purchased from Pet Shop Procedure, Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. Care was taken to keep the subjects head above the level of the fluid to prevent the death of the test subject. Results Subjects fur became saturated with the fluid. Test item required several hours of grooming to remove SCP-447-2 from its fur. No further deleterious effects reported. Notes After careful washing to remove all traces of SCP-447-2 from its fur, Subject was subsequently consumed by Agent Pruitt, who is of Peruvian descent. Said Agent reported that the meat was, in his own words, the best kuyi I've ever had. Approval for testing of SCP-447-2 as a marinade is currently on hold, pending review of whether or not a steak constitutes a dead body. Date Expunged Test Subject, 1 Tablet SCP-500 Procedure, Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. Results In addition to curing all diseases, Subject now also leaves the patient's breath feeling minty fresh. Notes About what was expected. Seriously guys, what were you thinking would happen? Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject, SCP-762 Procedure, 500ml of SCP-447-2 was added to 500ml distilled vodka and two dozen ice cubes, shaken well and strained into a pitcher. Approximately 0.2L of the mixture poured into a glass with mint and a lime garnish. Mixture was taken to SCP-762, who was told, A. Abel, try this, it's pretty good. Results SCP-762 agreed that the mixture was, in his words, refreshing, but immediately lost interest when told of SCP-447-2's interaction with dead bodies. Notes Because of SCP-762's tendency to become and or create dead bodies, further contact with SCP-447 is forbidden. Date Expunged Test Subject, 1 Pentium-4 Computer, 1.5GHz with Data Expunged Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes with the power cord unplugged. Subject became caked in goo and no longer functions. Notes Whoever came up with this one should be kicked in the head, Dr. A. Clef. Date Expunged Test Subject, SCP-63 Procedure, Dr. W... used SCP-447 instead of toothpaste to brush his teeth with SCP-63. Results Given that Dr. W... doesn't need to use toothpaste to begin with, not much really. Notes What is with you people, Dr. A. Clef? Date Expunged Test Subject, 1 Dead Body Notes Test was aborted. The scientist who made the proposal has been reassigned as Class D Personnel. Notes 2 Seriously guys, how hard is it to understand? No Dead Bodies None Nara 9 Don't think about it, don't joke about it, and most certainly, don't do it. Seesh! Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject, Dr. A. Clef Procedure Dr. A. Clef was ambushed in the hallway, dragged into a room with a bathtub full of SCP-447-2, and immersed for approximately 25 seconds. Results Subject became irate, and threatened to kill staff members carrying out the experiment if it were not for the fact that doing so would violate experimental protocol. Notes As soon as this mess is cleaned up, you will all be missed. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject Potassium Nitrate Sugar Mix Procedure A spoonful of SCP-447 was added to the mix of potassium nitrate and sugar in order to make a makeshift smoke grenade. Results Not only did the new mix slow down the combustion in such a way that the generated smoke was 10 times greater and lasted approximately 5 minutes longer than the original mix, but it also colored the smoke with a green tint, and left it with a minty smell. Notes Not bad for a $3 smoke grenade. Although this wouldn't work so well in the field, the odds of the smoke reaching a dead body are just too high. Date Expunged Test Subject Professor Snyder Procedure Two drops One microliter each of SCP-447 One in each of Professor Snyder's eyes Note that Professor Snyder has an astigmatism and normally wears corrective eyewear. Results Vision was clear and focused for six hours though Professor Snyder reported to now see everything in a green tint. Subject's eyesight soon returned to normal though both eyes are now a much more brilliant green than before. Notes Oh well. I look better with my glasses anyway. Professor Snyder Notes, too. This might be marketable as vision correction, but people might notice the extra green. Regardless, I'd like to request a couple of leaders of this stuff for personal use. Agent Mar Date Expunged Test Subject Eight ounce, 236 milliliter glass of skim milk Procedure Two teaspoons, 10 milliliters of SCP-447 thoroughly stirred into milk. Results Milk turned a bright green in color and was slightly thicker with a slight minty flavor. Chemical analysis later indicated that the concoction was now lactose free. Notes You know, we might be able to market this stuff. I'm pretty sure dead bodies don't drink milk. Professor Snyder Date Expunged Test Subject 15 pounds, 6.8 kilograms, quick dry cement Procedure Cement powder and five gallons or 19 liters of SCP-447 rotated inside a standard miniature cement mixer. Results The mixture took on a green tinge and solidified to a hardness 50% greater than normal concrete though it took twice as long to dry. Notes It seems promising but it's time consuming to make and the risks of a dead body falling on a slab of this stuff is too high. Professor Snyder Date Expunged Test Subject Two cups of water 475 milliliters Procedure One tablespoon, 15 milliliters of SCP-447-2 thoroughly stirred into water. Results Water turned a green tint but is otherwise normal. Contaminants reduced by 78% Notes This would make a good chlorine substitute for swimming pools. All the cleanliness of chlorinated water without the bleachy smell or hair discoloration. Too bad some swimmers are careless and turn into dead bodies. Dr. Ray A Date Expunged Test Subject One pizza produced by SCP-458 Procedure One small sauce cup of SCP-447-2 is held in one hand by Agent Palinuk while the other holds SCP-458. Results No outward change in the composition of SCP-447-2 is evident. SCP-458 produced a hamburger pizza on a cheese stuffed crust. After dipping a slice in SCP-447-2 and ingesting, Agent Palinuk noted the taste of the substance was like a creamy Italian dressing. Following his consumption of the pizza, Agent Palinuk's breath was said to be minty fresh. He then proceeded to hoard the pizza box to himself for a few hours. Notes Though this brings up new indication into the nature of SCP-458, nothing remarkable has come to attention from this, other than PAL's tendency to overeat. Slight psychological therapy may be in order. Dr. Del Marino I'd suggest remarking this stuff as addressing, but people eating lots of pizza on a regular basis tend to become dead bodies, so... Agent Palinuk Date Expunged Test Subject One cellular phone Procedure The phone is placed in one small plastic container holding one liter of SCP-447-2 and left to sit for five minutes with power off and battery disconnected. Results Phone is ruined and subsequently destroyed in a nearby furnace. The ashes and fumes from the burning phone were reported to be green and minty in scent. Notes Hey, has anyone seen my phone? Agent Palinuk Date Expunged Test Subject One Trojan Condom Procedure Dr. A placed the condom on his data expunged and applied SCP-447-2 onto it. He then tested the SCP-447-2-covered condom by data expunged. Results Data expunged Dr. A reports that the procedure quote went really well. Notes I could market this as that kind of lubricant but I don't think a warning label is enough to ensure that some necrophilia doesn't use it on a dead body. Dr. A Date Expunged Test Subject Three cars One 2006 Honda Civic One 06 Dodge Stratus One 06 Chevy Malibu Procedure SCP-447 was used as liquids in each vehicle mixed equally with oil used as window washer fluid and mixed into the radiator. Results Each car had each liquid added individually. The various components of each engine performed with superb results. The Honda's radiator did not overheat until temperatures reached in excess of 340 degrees Celsius more than twice the average temperature of a vehicle. The water seemed to be tinted green even after being drained. The Stratus's windshield was cleaned to factory new perfection and resisted dirt and grime after use. Side effect described as green tinted glass. The Malibu's engine components were lubricated to perfection and lasted over 160,000 miles on a dynamometer. Exhaust was tinted green. Notes Impressive but given the intelligence of some drivers the chance of dead bodies contaminating the sample is too high. Dr. Axe Date Expunged Test subject One roll of duct tape Procedure SCP-447 was applied to the adhesive side of a strip of duct tape which was subsequently attached to a cement brick. Results Tape had bonded to the cement with twice the strength expected of a normal strip. Cement brick was left with a green stain in the shape of the strip of tape. Notes This could be marketable but with all the possible uses for duct tape comes the even greater risk of coming into contact with dead bodies. Dr. Slav Date Expunged Test subject Nuclear reactor at site Procedure During the regular maintenance The leaders of SCP-447-2 were added to the moderator material in the reactor. Results The moderation of neutrons was increased by leading to very high thermal output and temperature alarms being activated. The reactor's chamber gained a green tinge and faint mint smell. Notes Effective but the chance of an explosion and radioactive slime reaching dead bodies over a large area is too high. Dr. Kotska Notes 2 Dr. Kotska has been incarcerated and sent to a corrective facility for unauthorized and extremely dangerous testing. 05 Date Expunged Test subject One Colt Python revolver with an 8-inch barrel Procedure Gun was taken apart for regular cleaning. The cleaning cloth was put in a small tub of SCP-447-2 and soaked for 5 minutes. Cleaned as normally would. Lubrication replaced with SCP-447-2 Results Gun fired with a 35% reduction in recoil. Testing found bullets fired had their maximum speed increased by nearly 210% and acceleration increased by 55%. Accuracy was increased by 3.7% at close range and by 486% at maximum range. Max range was also increased by 40%. Gun smoke was green in tint. Interestingly, unspent ammunition put into the gun were stated to smell minty and had a green tint. Despite this, when these bullets were removed and fired from another gun, said gun did not receive any benefits. Notes The more testing we do, the more I begin to wonder how more advanced technology would be. If only this damned, dead-bodied curse didn't exist. This stuff would benefit us in so many ways. This test shows that guns would become extremely efficient. But then again, guns are used to kill people, so you will run into a dead guy at some point. Notes too. I suppose we COULD use this in a combat situation but only as a last resort. And even then we'd have to be careful. Dr. Clinton Date Expunged Test subject One liter of candle wax Procedure Wax was added to SCP-447-2 in a 2 to 1 ratio of wax to SCP-447-2. A candle wick was dipped into the wax to create a candle. Results The candle gave off 50% more light at a distance of 10 meters and also gave off a strong smell of mint as it burned. However, the candle burnt out in roughly half the time of a candle made solely out of wax and was far more difficult to extinguish, requiring a CO2 fire extinguisher to put out. Notes While it may seem like a good idea to market it, the mint smell was far too strong to the point of being nauseating. The candle also burns out too quickly to be used as a source of light as well. I suppose you could use it as an air freshener, but seeing how dangerous fire can be and how hard it is to put out... Well, let's just say there's a good chance of it coming into contact with a dead body somewhere down the line. Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-586 Procedure 10 ml of SCP-447-2 was directly applied to SCP-586. Results No noticeable cha-chas to structure, composition, or effect of SCP-586 were noted. However, SCP-586 became more violently luminescent in its shade of grey and was reported afterwards to smell strongly of mint. Notes I see no point in continuing this line of zesting, but it is safe. Very little chance of dank bodies here. Dr. W... Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-914 Procedure One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the rough setting. Results 10 cylindrical glass containers, all exactly one-tenth the mass of the original container, each holding 100 ml of SCP-447-2. Notes Well, what did you expect? Dr. W... Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-914 Procedure One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the coarse setting. Results One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container, all SCP-447-2 recovered in this manner gradually degraded to an unknown fluid with similar composition to Terciops truncatus with a half-life of two hours. Notes After most of it is sufficiently degraded, I suggest this new fluid be run through similar tests as were conducted before. Dr. W... Notes too. Agent R, head cook at site W, reports that this new fluid has a simple and rustic, yet surprisingly compelling flavor and has requested five liters for culinary use. Request denied Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-914 Procedure One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the one-to-one setting. Results A dead body Notes Further cross-testing of SCP-447-2 with SCP-914 has been enjoined by order of 05... Date Expunged Test Subject Two liters of W... brand paint primer Procedure 250 milliliters of SCP-447-2 was mixed thoroughly into the paint primer. Results The primer took on a green hue and started to smell minty. The resulting paint was approximately 200% more opaque when compared to a different can of primer. Notes This would be marketed in home improvement stores, but the chances of a dead body coming into contact with painted surfaces is too high, plus the smell of mint is overpowering when a whole room is painted with the primer. Date Expunged Test Subject One pair of Adidas brand running shoes Size 12 Procedure Ten liters of SCP-447-2 was poured into a standard hardware store bucket. The pair of Adidas shoes were submerged in SCP-447-2 for five minutes and removed. Shoes were then applied to researcher Ortiz's feet. Results Rubber and sole increased by 37% in density, allowing subject to run slightly faster. Shoelaces became 13% more rigid, slightly decreasing the chance of the knot coming unraveled. Shoes emitted a minty scent. Notes We could market this as some kind of shoe conditioner, but I seem to be aware of the fact that many dead bodies wear shoes. Researcher Ortiz Date Expunged Test Subject A variety of clothing belonging to Dr. Levy Procedure 100 ml of SCP-447-2 was used as a substitute for fabric conditioner and a washing machine. Dr. Levy's clothes were washed for 30 minutes, after which the clothes were dried and worn by Dr. Levy. Results The clothing seemed more resistant to rips and tears, as well as shrinking. Dr. Levy reported that the clothes felt more comfortable than before. Clothes took on a slight green tinge, as well possessing a slightly minty smell. Notes We could market this as a fabric conditioner, though some people might not like the green tinge and the smell. Plus, there's the problem that dead bodies are often clothed. Dr. Levy Date Expunged Test Subject Dr. Hekilla's Hand Procedure A drop of SCP-447-2 was placed on the back of the subject's hand via an eyedropper. Results Dr. Hekilla proceeded to slap a nearby researcher across the face. The researcher said that they had a minty taste in their mouth after being slapped. Dr. Hekilla proceeded to do the same to someone else, but the effect had worn off. Notes First of all, why? Second of all, why did we let him do it? Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject A ballpoint pen Procedure The ink cartridge was infused with 0.5 milliliters of SCP-447-2. Results Anything written with the pen became approximately 27% clearer and gained a greenish tint. A slight minty smell also started emanating from the ink. Notes This could be great to market to children. Scented pens And I don't think there's much of a likelihood of it coming into contact with dead bodies, although you can never be too safe. Dr. Aherna Date Expunged Test Subject 111045 T5 wire stripper Procedure Metal portion of subject was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 30 seconds and used to strip 12 AWG copper NMS cable. Results Any insulation was easily peeled off regardless of improper use of the tool, but stuck to the T5s and had to be removed by hand. Notes This would make the lives of new electricians so much easier. Unfortunately, they could be careless and get shocked to death while holding on to this. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject One standard-sized tub of Legos Procedure Tub was filled and submerged in SCP-447-2 for one minute and used to create a variety of items. Results Builders state that the directions just kind of come to us. We don't even need to look at the manual. Bricks also turned lime green and have a faint mint smell. Notes The only reason I say we shouldn't market this is the fact that a small child could choke on it. Then we have an entire new thing to deal with. Dr. Markman Formerly requesting this tub for recreational use. They're really addicting. Dr. Sanders Accepted Have fun Dr. Markman Date Expunged Test Subject One of each foundation security keycard tier leading up to four. Procedure Keycards were left to dip in SCP-447-2 for one hour, then tested on pre-made keycard testing doors. Results All keycards had their numbers erased and replaced with the level two tiers above their own. All cards performed with their respective new numbers. Notes Requesting an extra level four keycard and one liter of SCP-447-2 Dr. Sanders Ha ha! No Dr. Markman Date Expunged Test Subject Two AA batteries Procedure Batteries were submerged in SCP-447-2 for 30 minutes, then inserted into Dr. Clinton's flashlight, which was then shown until batteries were out of power. Results Both batteries lasted roughly 28% longer than usual and were tinted a light green. The light from the flashlight was also a light green. Notes All right, this we can probably use. Pretty sure dead bodies can't use batteries, but, uh, someone may want to make sure that the green light doesn't have the same properties as the normal slime. Dr. Clinton Nope, batteries have a tendency to cause dead bodies when around babies. Dr. Engelhardt Date Expunged Test Subject 10M202A1 Flash Rockets Procedure Rockets were coated in SCP-447-2 for 50 minutes, loaded into an M202A1 flash to test explosion size, flame duration, and accuracy. Results The explosion size remained the same. The flame's post detonation lasted 10% longer, along with having a greenish tint. No temperature difference noted. No difference in accuracy. Notes Well, the accuracy of it isn't improved because it's not the rocket launcher itself. It's the rockets. Weapons Researcher Person Weapons Researcher Person It is requested that you not do this again. Weapons have a way of creating dead bodies. Actually, wait a moment. How did you even get in? With a weapon? Senior Researcher I have my ways. Weapons Researcher Person Date Expunged Test Subject One Earn Procedure Earn was polished on the inside and outside with a mix of polish and SCP-447-2 at a 3 to 1 ratio. Results Experiment was interrupted just as ashes from a dead body were about to be put in. Notes Ashes from dead bodies are dead bodies too. I don't care how curious you are, but no ashes from dead bodies. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-999 Procedure SCP-999 was submerged in SCP-447-2 for two minutes. Results SCP-999 exhibited a green tint for five hours and, in addition to curing depression, gave the subject green eyes. Notes SCP-999 looked pretty cool, and we may be able to do this again. We could even reconsider marketing it is an antidepressant. Dr. Fall No Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject One Katana Procedure The Katana was submerged in SCP-447-2 for five minutes. Results The Katana emerged with a distinct green tinge to the blade. Dr. Clef confiscated the Katana before any tests could be conducted on its performance. Notes Are you maniacs trying to give me a nervous breakdown? The whole point of a sword is to kill people. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject One vial of SCP-447-2 aged 30 days. Procedure The vial was submerged in SCP-447-2 for five minutes. After that period of time, the vial was removed. The contents poured onto the top of the SCP-447-2 solution for five minutes. Results Vial was tightly sealed. It's simultaneously easy to remove. The solution within the vial turned a bright green and gave off an extremely minty odor. Now designated as SCP-447-3 Notes I really thought this was going to go nowhere. Maybe you slack-jawed yokels have some sort of a brain in that FedEx box of a head. Have the solution of 447-3 sent to my office. I would like to personally conduct an experiment with it. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject Two $1 bills USD Procedure One vial was submerged in a cup of SCP-447-2 for five minutes. The other submerged for the same amount of time within a cup of SCP-447-3, referenced above. Results The vial submerged in SCP-447-2 became a US $100 bill. The bill submerged within SCP-447-3 became a US $2,500 bill, which, according to the U.S. Hall of Records, never existed, yet is completely usable in a marketplace environment. The bill was removed from circulation shortly after by an MTF team, by command of Dr. A. Clef. Notes Why would you send that into circulation? Who knows what could happen to that bill out there? Dr. A. Clef Ooh, I wonder what we can do with this 447-3 stuff. Maybe we could make better and better liquid, like inception. Dr. Bright Request denied. We're playing with forces we don't understand here, Jack. Dr. A. Clef Dr. Bright Date Expunged Test Subject A copy of The Phantom Toll Booth Procedure Book was immersed in SCP-447-2 for 20 seconds. Results Book became green and gained a minty smell. Notes I realized a bit too late that paper might constitute as the dead body of a tree. We really dodged a bullet on that one. Still, let's not try to push the envelope any further. Dr. Norms Lesson complete If you missed the previous orientation, go watch SCP-446, human mannequin, right now. Or for the complete course, watch this playlist.