 his mouth open so as far as I'm concerned his tongue is open to the public spot on welcome to episode number two of season two this is the second season and it's this is the second episode of that season welcome to episode two uh it's time for our uh shit talk now but there's not much to talk about because we just did an episode Michael went and changed his shirt but I'm still wearing the same clothes so if you look at this episode and last week's episode wearing the same thing it's because we filmed it in the on the same day on the same day and Michael's trying to trick you there's a guy I'll go wear a different shirt to make it look like we film on different days like just be real yeah fuck sorry sorry about that there you go a public apology from Michael do we have a guest for you today and do we have some guests for you not yet not yet Brad wow it's mad man so unprofessional yeah you're right I remember telling you that as I was telling you that I was like he's gonna try and come on early because we just clap I'm starting to get drunk don't do it again I'll get more you're right I'm sorry he's confused now all right on this day on this day in 1931 winter was invented so in 1931 like 90 years ago winter wasn't a thing and then all of a sudden 90 years ago someone's like oh let's like it's cold this is called winter so on this day don't know I'm here part of history right that's just we're just clapping on this day in 1901 the first ever pelican was hung to death to test the strength of rope that's how they used to test rope strength they're a big gulp then on this day one year later in 1902 a house was built with rope I see the connecting so strong yeah yeah that's good and then also on this day it's exactly another 365 days later that rope house collapsed so it's like it's on this day like a lot of shit happened you know I mean like it's crazy so just just as you're listening to this just be just think back to that because nine toddlers died reflect on the history like on this day nine kids died from a rope house collapsing so it's just like you know be grateful for what you have do you know what I mean pelicans winter houses same shit like it's that's fucking crazy that's crazy that's crazy shit let's read some questions let's read some questions first question is from erin dot Sophia with two a's and she is asked how do you feel about picking your nose and eating it well I'll leave this to you because you do this a lot I'm not in front of fee fee Michael picks his nose and eats it none of but not in front of you though but you just know that he's doing that as soon as you turn your back oh yeah it's it's addictive let's put it that way what does it taste like it's like I don't know it's like do you like the texture is it crunchy is it sometimes they're hardened at the base and then as you pull the base out all the connectivity of smear or the slop comes out with it and you have like I've had like good like I'd say what's that five centimeters five centimeters of shit come out of my nose and if you have a big night on the cocaine gear we'll call it for safety reasons for the cops then you can pull out the hole inside of your nostril in like a what like when you mold it like when you want to do it's like a mold yeah a mold it's like a mold it's like paper mache of the inside of your nose paper machine you bring it out and then the whole thing comes out hardened and it's not only green and shit it's all red and crustified like a scab like an actual scab you bring it out you lay it out on the table it's like art and when I was traveling with Henry one of our dearest friends we were in South America so we that would happen regularly and he'd go to bed and I wouldn't and then I'd do that and in the morning I'd leave him on his bedside table and he'd get quite cranky and you do that with a lot of your waste from your body when you're peeling your skin's peeling yeah I leave him out for everyone to leave sheets of skin it's like ah I use yeah I use like a disaster and make your shits like around the toilet not in the toilet yeah like to bring them out for people so yeah that's my thought so what does it taste like though for those who haven't it's not salty yeah it's I don't know it's just you so whatever you that's like eating skin or fingernails yeah yourself all right so it's flavorless it's like biting your nails it's like that but a little bit more moist and also a bit more emotional next question disgusting as underscore baby boy with a double y on boy what video do you guys have the most fun making the b video for me because I got high off the venom yeah so we went and got stung by bees and I like that one because I like I miss the old social experiments that was so much fun just going out and fucking with people touring with their minds remember that strangers and just going out and just fucking with them and that was a lot of fun and the gelbast of it even though it looks really painful was surprisingly like a pain is like a high so if you use it so if you use it well enough then you can get off over it so the gelblast of it was fun the bee stinging video was fun the MMA fighting video was the worst this one's from 20 potatoes works at wholesome which hurts more getting kicked in the balls or getting whipped by a whip probably getting kicked in the balls I really don't like the hates the testicle trauma the testicle trauma hurts it's passed on to me whipping yeah it becomes like even I had actually fun honey badger the honey badger and Michael with a whip he's an ex bachelor from he's also a professional rugby union player he uh and knew his day party got the old whip out like the actual ones that break the speed of spent sound and he used that on my back and it didn't hurt at all didn't hurt one bit Matt Matt it didn't hurt I don't know why you're being so like anyway move on Kevin Corthra has said are you guys still the best now we spoke about this in our last episode we're not the best yet again where we're like above average well oh like that whoa like it's there no I'd hang out with them but they're not like yeah it's it's like oh yeah so podcast it's not it's not the best we were here Bruce Willis was here now Bruce Willis is just above us and we're second even though he doesn't have a podcast he's obviously just going to be that hard all those action movies great cameo and friends friends yeah awesome yeah Hamish and Annie they feel safe around him fuck all right well let's stop right there because we're gonna we're gonna get to our next we're gonna get to our next day we're gonna let me tell you about this let me tell you about this boy right he's fucking gets out there and just has a blade guys gets the shit down he's on everywhere or social media he's fucking get on here brother smart man brad smart man brad all right let's look into it hey guys I'm Brad I'm Brad it's okay I want to do the interview first well first of all what like what so for those who don't know you right what do you what do you do so we I first I first discovered you on snapchat everyone's like oh this dude's fucking hilarious on snapchat he's like a tradie dude so you were just at work he's fucking around I was yeah so so I got to work and uh pretty much uh I was earning money yeah in my job and and fuck you don't are you doing away again all right sorry yeah I'm trying to I can smell it it's a bit it's so I make videos at work and um I try to be I try so you just did it for fun you were just like you just fucking around yeah just dicking around and it's all it started all on snapchat I'll do little snippets and blah blah blah and then uh I'd put them together made the Facebook page put them videos under the Facebook page and it it didn't take you long how long you've been how long are you snapchatting for before before you got your job at trade tools two years yeah okay yeah that's very fast three years in total three about three years ago when I when I started yeah and here we are taking a recording a very professional podcast with marty and michael well michael's pissing you know the people just overflow deserts um all over our guest it does it it smells like no that's all right we're here now we're here now like I'm not one to complain it's something from now I really appreciate you not complaining about I got it so close to the microphone I got told earlier Brad all right so all right so you started making snapchats and then when was it when it like started becoming a thing like what were you doing was it one thing that you did that became a big thing or was it just gradually people just been like fucking there was one one moment the uh the traffic going on garbage guts went really uh big uh share from lad bible and and a couple other big pages yeah and that uh that uh mounted like 30 million views or something to you guys yeah that's that is that is pretty good shit loads that's pretty good it's fucking shit loads I'm not saying it's not much it was great but um yeah it's all it's always been an organic growth of I've never never I've never boosted a post yeah you shouldn't for anyone who's starting out you shouldn't because that will Facebook or any platform will expect that forever and then that won't give you reach so those influences out there don't fucking boost your post man leave it organic anyway so so you're on instagram snapchat are you on youtube yet yeah I've got a youtube channel but I've never really focused on it because it's I feel youtube is a different uh you gotta yeah you gotta be like a full-time fucking making videos you gotta address the audience in a different way you gotta make longer videos I feel and and really um cater to the youtube platform but yeah all right so instagram facebook madman brad yeah and snapchat all madman brad and um so what's the plan like like so you got a job out of it though right yes yeah so I was on the on the tools on the diggers uh until last year about a year ago trade tools contacted me oh yeah send them an invoice Christmas bonus 12 under bucks and thanks all right so trade tools contacted me and said uh we like what you do gotta obviously your demographic is what we're chasing uh why don't come over here to us and uh make videos for us let's say all right so they just offset here we'll hire you you make videos for us that's fucking awesome well kind of they sort of said like come over here cut that because we've got to be like a good tool right no no well yeah yeah yeah that's awesome where we do that again yeah so yeah say that again mighty say what again Michael oh that's awesome oh that's awesome oh it is it's so good no it is good okay wait let's do it one more time the timing went well because I got sacked from the last job I was selling copper on the side oh really because yeah I was working it done and I thought instead of going to landfill you know save the earth hashtag killer whales and my friends 2020 and share I'll instead letting this copper go get buried in the earth and maybe do something bad to the earth which it probably would oh no climate change is changing it kills it kills people and I thought you know what I'm not letting that happen I care about the earth I live on greenhouse gas right yeah so much green house synthesis yeah all I know and uh so instead I put it in a a bin truck and let him go and sell it yeah no that's to recycle yeah yeah yeah just because it end up money in my pocket I didn't even care about the money yeah it's just happened it's amazing he gave the money to me I was like I don't want it that's fucked and he gave it to me he gave it gave it to me anyway I didn't want to fuck the money better gave it to me I bought I bought heads of fun shit it was so good anyway here we are it's great it's been so good yeah that's lovely trade it's good that you got into where you got because that sounds like a rough journey getting done for copper selling that's fucked but now but now so what's the plan now you're gonna you're gonna work on your own shit or you just it's quite time consuming isn't it working for trade too yeah it is yeah it's like it's like a normal full-time job yeah so you really have time to do your other shit but what's your like what do you want to do like what where are you gonna be in five years five years me daughter will be 10 so they get me gun license well the years are progressing I remember when I was 12 13 it gets out of control yeah and yeah so no in five years uh let's talk about I live week to week right so let's talk about next year I'd like to like to be sort of living uh still you know doing stuff at trade tools but at the same time having more time for myself and me family and and focus and being able to spend more time focusing on my content so I reckon next year's goal is no more Saturday work five days week Monday Friday hear that trade talk it's Michael talking to you Rachel love you so yeah that wasn't a kid no oh she's got a boyfriend he's tough is that who the fuck is Rachel she's my boss her boss Rachel my yes yeah her boss raise maybe otherwise you're gonna lose him because he could make it be making a lot more money making his own shit anyway wait could I yes we're gonna want to tie that Facebook page we got so much copper in this house oh yeah yeah all through the walls he won't tell me all right copper is everywhere is like gold it's a new gold all right let's move on pretty much is gold so what does your family think of it so like when you started doing your snapchat stuff yeah and and then you started going taken off a little bit well what did your wife say was she like was she like oh yeah that's cool did she just know that you're you know a bit of a fucking funny dude and you do that sort of shit or was she like you know because it's it's hard it's like it's fucking weird you know social media is just fucking weird to have thousands of people just watch you just be you you know what I mean I do how what was her reaction no it's uh she's always been so there's a big rule at home right as long as I eat at home okay all right you understand breakfast lunch and dinner yeah yeah well yeah I'm not gonna stray for a meal or something that defeats a point yeah so no she's good 4 and 20 yeah I do love it she's like a saucy one no yeah so Crystal's been really good uh it was a bit of a culture shock at the start once it when it first started blowing up yeah because people would recognize her as well right yeah yeah yeah she's been recognized a few times but the worst thing is they say oh you're a mama bros missus crystal tell the color by no man they actually recognize me kids too yeah of course so what has that affected their school no it hasn't well actually the uh the daycare that the kids went to most of the uh a lot of their daycare workers teachers you call them yeah they uh follow the page too so you walk in there it's like here comes king dick what's up daycare that's not what it was like it was in my head it would have been it would have been exactly like that yeah exactly what you mean it's fine yeah I've never I've not had too many beers for this oh no we didn't start drinking like what six seven hours ago lucky you came at midday because yeah it's 4 30 now yeah four yeah you know I mean like it would have been even later if you came at five I'm so you know I'm so I'm grateful we didn't start the podcast on time yeah so am I so am I if you see the green screen that is so perfect so it's unusable yeah so many creases and shit in it but yeah it's a green screen so we went out all out for season two hollywood we don't even have a green screen at trade tools see what I mean like that's Rachel it's up there you know we need one of these look like it I know it'll cost a lot but we can maybe write it off in the marketing budget just so you can borrow this one it's tax deductible it's a it's a it's a green bed sheet yeah it is yeah I can tell it's okay yeah yeah shut up what was your what was your trade what what what do you what so you were where the fuck did you grow up so a bit of a fucking nomad so I was born in New South Wales down in Musselbrook Hunter Valley yeah I lived there for nine years and then moved to McClay Island was the first place down in Morton Bay McClay Island McClay Island yeah wow spent a bit of time there went to a couple of schools there and high school that anyway yeah so then we moved to Koran which is between Gimpy and Noosa yeah then we moved to Gimpy and then I moved to fucking Bald Hills why why did you move around so much I was like pretty um I had no sort of anchor no purpose yeah I didn't you were floating around like a fuck dead set you're a leaf in the wind I would go with mates uh or whatever and just stay there place but I see how long I could get away with it yeah stay there for it me yeah I get that and I loved it like it's a bit let's say how do you do it how do you do it where's your next meal coming from Brad you obviously that's why I'm here that's why I'm here yeah and then you know all of a sudden you have to move to town because you're robber mackers yeah yeah yeah so what's mom and dad think of you ah that's a fucking loaded question no they're they're happy now they're like me and dad had a couple of ups and downs a couple of biphons when I was younger because I was a dickhead you know before filming stuff you mean yeah way way before that yeah so I started fighting in high school and dad said well how about we put you into tie box and teach you how to actually fight a bit of um bit of discipline yeah while you're at it and then it sort of it worked for a bit and then we got worse and got better and oh shit just went wild and I thought you know what that's I gotta go I'm going out on my own and take this world by storm and so I float around being a bum for a few years so you moved to brissey without your without crystal without your wife or did you meet her in brissey no so I met her in the 2011 floods oh we were on a season when that happened yeah so I was at um at between gimpy and tin can bay a town called glomorgan bale glomborian glomborian so yep and we got flooded and she just floated past no we got flooded into a house together we were down here in brisbane the night before the floods kicked right up and they and me best mate and her said I do you want to come back to glomborian from brisbane and I thought oh I've got work on Monday but fuck we'll work on that right let's do and then here we are flood all the fucking flood water rise it rose and I couldn't get to work and I thought I've wanted crystal for a long time look I've had my eyes on her she's crystal yeah and now we're stuck in this house and it ended up being like eight or nine days oh really so I got to wear it down I don't get started off as a like who are you yeah oh what's your name and eventually she said right I'll dump me I'll dump me boyfriend oh wow yeah I had to steal her I was a it was a swindle so during that eight-day period she broke up with her boyfriend because you she just knew that she had to have right mad man up right yeah yeah yeah right I said that in the house I'd say right at the end yeah and uh you know it was like I can't I cannot if I stay here for any more days we're flooded in I'm gonna end up fucking George yeah you know and yeah and he's like he's got a real strong ass like he'd nip it off snap it off yeah you know George yeah okay yeah yeah we're best mates for you know a long time and and we used to grapple when we were trying and he's strong strong fella now the fuck we've been here a long time eventually I'm gonna have to fuck him yeah I would have thought definitely within that eight-day period that you would have fucked is that's a long it's a long time I don't the fucking week you met crystal your messes you can't leave you couldn't leave no no it was like sore no she couldn't leave oh okay because you had a cornered in a room I'm a strong swimmer I'm a strong and she's not oh yeah and I said little little top yeah yeah not much upper body strength yeah but yeah I can I can swim hard so you'd go out to 7-eleven bring back snacks you'd swim no we had no we had no access to anywhere oh but you weren't swimming all right oh you could have left but she didn't want your leave because she didn't want you alone yeah and George wouldn't let me otherwise she was she would have said give me a lift yeah yeah and what to your boyfriend that's enough for me thanks no no we're staying right here because I got a army shoulder is that is with that with the ex-boyfriend was he like how long was that devastating for him like it seems like she it wasn't a very healthy relationship that she was just able to flick him off like that so they've been together for a fair while right for four or five years I think oh wow and he was like I was a I was a fighter back in midday like I had a couple of fights and trained for a long time but he was much more accomplished in the ring than I was and he was about fucking two foot taller than me I reckon his dick would have been about like you know 10 centimeters longer probably you just want to be there was a dick there it wasn't just skin look I'm not saying it's tiny it's not great it's not you know what I mean yeah average dick but uh but here's me thinking weighing up the options like um he's a big bloke he can fight I'll have a go yeah I'll have a go you can get me in the water I'm on you can fucking swim maybe I can drown him swim rings around him maybe I can drown him yep and uh and anyway I said well it's your call crystal and then bang marry three kids was he was he was he shitty with you or was it just like just like whatever well I sort of did you know me yeah yeah I think this is my best mate it was George he was one of the boys but you know I said to him this is we'll flood it in we didn't know what to do he was in there but you win this is what's happening yeah yeah the uh the victor comes in oh fuck you'll probably come down if switching huh me down yeah that's all right I think he definitely listens to this podcast yeah yeah well that's how I got crystal is there yeah I'm there Chris she's a lovely she's she's sweet yeah she's very patient she puts up with it actually maybe I'm the patient I mean it's it's possible man can I pop sound check oh and bond gone lost your bond I already put screws for you yeah yeah I tried to fix their door jam and that's not my house it's not my house so can you explain this is from crispy underscore cream 69 great name that's a good very creative can you explain what an ashay is yeah gone I believe ashay is a word derived from pig latin so oh you know it is I think oh you quite me on it search it up can we get a confirmation on that ashay yeah it's pig latin for sesh that's I believe where it comes from but obviously always they have to have a bum bag if you don't if you go out posing as an ashay and you don't have your fucking out of this yeah my thumb bag with a I believe they carry at least a butter knife and and some probably a couple of dime bags smoke bombs and shit crust up cops come they just throw a smoke bomb down bomb I think it is now because yeah crust up pennadol in the bag yeah yeah yeah just in Ryan yeah that here you go 300 bucks they go go to smoke yeah they're so big as they're wearing black caps and they're wearing fucking black clothes and they're wearing runners yeah and they go to nightclubs and they do the dubstep dance no it's called uh what's it called uh she's seizure seizure no it's something else where they they kick their legs yeah yeah it's like trapping forward and it's called and they do loops around their head like yeah but yeah but thank you cozy yeah but it's called yeah yeah they do the gabba if you ever got in that even if you lived your life and got over that and then you look back at your life and go I used to do that that is a call for suicide yeah all right everyone watching so if you do that oh no I have done that have done it yeah if you're a gather people who do it just just if you're a gabba fiend you don't want to say what I said again it's not on it's not on yeah if you're a gabba fiend the way I look at it is they're like the dudes in England that are called chavs you know chavs but they wear the English I how do they pronounce about a chav a chav a chav harry lee harry lee h a double r y double l double e fuck an open addiction harry lee what were your big influences in starting doing these videos did it just sort of come along oh I think well I think that our influences growing up were um well jack ass a bit tom green originally for me yeah just 1999 tom green show was like but but make when we first started film when we just wanted to do like pranks which isn't really that jack assy but we just sort of fell into hurting ourselves and then it worked so we just have continued to hurt ourselves and we yeah like a lot of people go oh man how did you do that when you do it it's like maybe like 20 minutes of sometimes there's like weeks of pain yeah usually it's about your body heals within like half an hour to half a day huh and then it's and they're like man you are so crazy now sometimes you go into the hospital for a routine checkup a little routine we're just gonna we're just gonna put a little camera up your bum and see what's going on check the prostate what did they find well I don't know you had a lump a couple weeks ago they never know oh yeah my chest is still there no I thought it was in your balls I was saying you can feel it I've got one on my left nut I saw in your story a new lump here I don't care see oh whoa that's a good one that's not meant to be there anyway can we have a ciggy but yeah I went into the doctors once right for a routine checkup and uh you know they said it lung cancer you just got to go under uh twilight twilight uh twilight frd yeah how much do you weigh we'll give you this much yeah and the next thing I woke up the first thing I said when I woke up from the from the anesthetics uh I was like did you fucking leave tools in here turned out they'd done a full operation up inside my bear yeah from there no from here from the asshole okay so they put knives up your asshole and cut you down and dragged it out it felt like that yeah so why well I went in there what was in you no no no the old hemorrhoids yeah it was what was out of me yeah and I could get back in yeah and I said look I I've dealt with this for a long time but this one's a special special case I can't I can't even try to butt plug it's like a collapsed asshole it was bad yeah really oh so what would happen if you if you shut would you ask me out like a sleeve that was already out yeah sort of yeah in a in a roundabout way it was just was that that hurt it sounds painful so so fucking I've only ever had one thing that was more painful but but yeah anyway went into so they could work out what's going on and I didn't book any time off work or anything and they put me under fucking there I go and then I woke up and I was just torn to shreds sore as fuck took ages to heal and it turns out they went in there with things called burning lances band bandings all sorts of shit I've been snapchatted when when the nurse gave me the like anime at the start I was like haha this is gonna be a fun day and I woke up I just came I would say he's so bad yeah oh stop it was fun yeah but the only yeah and it all worked out like you're gonna leave it was just yeah yeah yeah it was just super painful the only lumps on the bum the only thing that was more painful was that fucking uh c-star had on me tailbone oh why did you do that on the inside or the outside so it starts from the inside it's called a polynomial abscess starts from the end of the tailbone I'm gonna call my daughter that and it fishes its way out pushes its way through your flesh anyway it was it was that painful I had to walk around on my hands and knees oh so do they cut it out and then do they give it to you yeah I ate it like yeah like that's it's good it's definitely good tailbone flavoured bad flu for a couple of weeks but uh yeah I was walking when I knew I was fucked was when I walked out the back on me hands and hands and knees no hands and feet I had to keep me legs straight because I couldn't so you couldn't stand up and I because I had to piss right and I was like how am I gonna I can't stand up straight I can't straighten me spine so I just I just stood there on me hands and feet and just pissed on myself and I was like well here we are Brad oh dude I was there years ago it's only up from here yeah maybe you have cysts on your tailbone Michael maybe that's why you piss yeah yeah well I'll definitely I'll go get that look into it yeah look into it do some research yeah so there's um fun facts about madman brad 10 minutes of health with madman brad week yeah so everyone out there be careful watch you watch your health because you don't want to have cysts on your tailbone and make sure you're always just be healthy you got one avatar and I haven't got any advice to avoid any of that no no just be no wait the doctor literally doctor said luck of the draw mate just luck of the draw really so was it from smoke they said we can operate on it but it'll probably come back oh so you're the cyst can't in the group and that's when you king well let's let's focus on the hemorrhoids cysts and so yeah pussie yeah okay excuse me yeah let's keep going with the questions fuck brag your most memorable moment and where I can listen to the podcast this is from lil chump lil chump lil chump with two peas our most memorable moment would have to be um when uh fish ah I don't even know when I didn't like stewie finding stewie was pretty fucking yeah yeah when we found a raped man I remember that the most vividly and you can see this podcast on episode Spotify first Marty and Michael fully actual or on youtube Marty and Michael fully actual or on um I'll never forget like it was it was fucked up it was blood running down his legs he didn't want us to call the cops or ambulance we had to convince him that really found eventually the evidence to put dude away the there was semen on shorts found it was like a year long thing and we were the best eight years we put someone who raped a man away and I like for all the dumb shit I've done it's like that it's just lovely wow yeah that's pretty memorable to me I've had some good moments in my time with a drug fueled no no no no some actual good bones from that what's your best social media do you have a favorite you have a daughter and a son yeah yeah yeah a favorite my daughter's my girl yeah okay but my son is a little tank yeah but one of the probably the most recent they see we helped the farmers during the drought when it was really kicking off that was awesome uh we've done a lot of help for hope homeless helpers thing but the last one I've done for hummingbird house which is a children's hospice rock like uh the only children's hospice in Australia which what is a hospice so hospice half a hospital no hospice is the end of life care oh yeah so people who know they're going to die go there yeah no for children yeah oh my god yeah so I don't know they existed yeah that's called hummingbird house yeah look kids just I don't know kids die yeah they do oh it's crazy that changes everything yeah yeah shit getting real for a second we're not making videos anymore yeah yeah it's time but what was it what was your story about uh the dude we just found a rape man that's probably the most memorable thing for us is that we found and helped a raped man I just remember my story from that I woke up once in a new market caravan park bathroom the the shower all been there yeah yeah and all I had was me undies and the shower was still running I was laying in the shower it's still warm and I woke up with great hot water yeah it's good hot water and I woke up in there with nothing else bar me undies and the door was locked and you were snap chatting the whole time I don't remember from well I started off in breezy and that's where I woke up I had to borrow shorts wow I had to borrow shorts off the caravan park owner to jump trains to get home because I'd know wallet you could have been raped you were raped well here whoever it was I assume it was here how old were you when this happened uh 18 so there's no hospice there case he's nodding that yes he's confirming you were raped definitely raped that's where the hemorrhoids came from yeah yeah friction on the bum it's not on that kind of makes sense unless you've got enough lube and if it's not lube it then yeah that's hemorrhoids well our next question well yeah we just fixed a lot of world problems then all right what question would you like to ask us brad and then we will ask you a question that we would like to ask you brad okay right how long after you started getting uh after your following started growing did you start to think and realize that this might be a career option at what stage four years before we started even making money dude in high school in year 10 when I met marty we'd go to the uni after school every day by 600 mil coca cola and Michael when we snored it yeah I would a whole bottle and then we'd just talk about how eventually one day we will be famous yeah and then like so from year 10 which was and then it took from year 10 how long have we known each other since half our lives ago when we're what 30 now so when we're 15 so when we're 15 we knew and then it took till we're 23 to start having cracks at it and then about two years ago it happened and now here we are pissing in bottles on a podcast in front of a fucking professional green screen Matt works at fucking wholesome woo Matt works at fucking wholesome you know what I mean it's crazy all right now let me throw one back at you mate okay what do you think I think giving you something there hey I think who are what are you do you know I mean like what is it if you had to commit to a religion what religion would you commit to and what's your favorite color I kind of car to your drive yeah I think that life is expendable be careful cherish every day I like purple be yellow more even though it's a feminine color I had to be Buddhism because I believe it's it's um yeah reincarnation oh yeah well is that what I think Buddhism is that what they yeah yeah reincarnation I fully believe but Buddha is that yeah but he just ate a bit too much he's a big fat well we're we're 30 now metabolism is gone yeah that's spot on that's what I want to know thank you that's what I get asked a lot of questions and how fat I am oh yeah look at this ready I've got a little crazy disgusting oh no I don't want to tell you it's just it's more like amplified what's it there's like three tits I can crease my tit in the three now and that is it folds there it just becomes cellulite even though I'm not 60 the last time I've seen that I had to pay heaps for to see that lies yeah yeah yeah Buddhism anyway we're all happy here yeah it's great all right let's pray call brass mom we're gonna pretend that he's been involved in a road rage acts incident and that I'm a policeman calling her so I so what we're gonna do is start off like you instigated it put your mate in hospital so he's a vegetable in a coma this is his call from lock up this is his one call he's decided to call so we'll mighty start as the all start as the officer also as the officer as the fortitude valley police station yeah and then we will um yeah like I will put you on after I explain what has happened god I hope this works is anyone else that we can call with the same joke and say to them oh look his parents aren't answering and that your who would be your next try George right but George is clever right he's been me best mate for a long time growth hey George mates it's just a comfortable Ben Anderson here from the fortitude valley police station I was just wondering if you had a few minutes to talk I've just got Brad Ward here in lock up we've tried we've tried calling his parents but none of them are responding so we were just wondering if he's he's using his call basically and he's asked it to talk to you so is it is it a right if I I legally I have to give you the the information that you know the circumstances that have led him to lock up so basically there was a road rage incident in Brisbane and um yeah so there was a a violent outburst and he's physically injured someone and so now he's in lock up and he's asked asked to call you for his call so at the moment he's he's in lock up and he'll be in lock up for the next 48 hours unless someone can pay his bail which is uh $12,000 at the moment but um yeah I I just have to call and let you know the circumstances and and I'll put him on the phone now if that's okay no worries mate well here he is he's mum ah they could uh fucked up man uh they're fucking pulled up at lights in a bloke fucking carried on but I fucking I tell this come bad oh he hit his head hit his head on the fucking edge of the gutter and he's fucking cactus hey oh really bad um I can't I I'm fucking I'm stuck here oh yeah yeah that's all I got I asked him to I gave him four numbers you mum dad and crystal but oh is that what he said so fucking oh when this can't fucking hit the deck George when oh when this can't hit the deck he was fucked oh like when old mate hit the deck he was fucking cactus oh like no no he's he was fucking squirtin blood it was bad I don't know I think I oh I think he's fucking he the cunt wasn't even fucking moving hey I was trying to fucking pick him I was I was trying to pick him back up I was trying to pick him back up and he wasn't fucking moving yeah yeah I got held down by people in traffic because I was fucking the aggressor yeah and um like fucking 15 minutes probably and he was fucking he was fucked he was he'd done like a little shake he'd done a couple of shakes yeah yeah yeah but what's your there's the bloke um that arrest me he's been coming in a bit yeah and uh I reckon when he when he comes in when he comes in next they'll put me back in the in this fucking uh I'll fucking uh five glass cell there I think when he comes in next I'm just gonna fucking try and push past him and get the fuck out man because this is in good eye that's you can't get out of there I hate well it's just from the end like it's just out of the entrance like it's just inside the entrance you go left and that's where I am I reckon I reckon I can get past what do you want to get down for well what the fuck am I gonna do any right um I'll call you you can't get out you can't escape mate you know that don't you really just relax I know you're gonna have a tough one um but don't think the worst just fucking fuck can't I think he worked out I've had about fucking eight beers two before it he was he was a fucking cock I just hope there's CCTV on the intersection so you can see how much of a cock it the cunt was I fuck yeah so we got out at the same time we met in the middle and but I fucking I fucked him up I even kicked the cunt right in the fucking nuts and then up a cut of him that was a clean up one it was bad oh yeah hold on hold on oh yeah the cops coming back fuck this man I'm gonna go I'm getting out of here hey hold on yeah sounds like gunshots oh that was me being oh George oh George I'm sorry can't wait call him back because he's gonna be calling everyone no no no no no leave it leave it until the podcast over we gotta tell we gotta tell him yeah fuck wait he's gonna bash me he's he's strong man hey mate it's just a console console been uh Anderson here um we've just got uh Brad just send me fucking go mate calm down we've just got him in restraints and um we've broken both of his fucking legs you didn't have to fucking tase me and I've really cracked one of the fucking shit myself fucking little dog I'll fucking put you out I'll fucking finish ya hey George um it's just a prank call mate we're just fucking with you where it is he's at the Marty and Michael podcast and um he's fine everything's okay he's not out he's gonna bash you you predicted it even Casey he knows he knows that's bad hey he's gonna bash you with him Casey's gonna help him back oh is that a pride thing through fighters oh my god oh so George has fought George has fought professionally for so long he's got Australian intercontinental titles in Taiwan he's such a he's a good he's like a bit violent he's but a bit violent yeah and we just went and fucked what did I suggest George ah Brad is he gonna be okay no let me tell George oh fuck he can come on mine oh yeah you want to fucking get George oh George George we love you we're sorry George yeah i got it i got his name George he's not gonna answer he's gonna be so pissed off oh shit i'm worried for Casey's safety oh no he's not gonna answer there's no way he's gonna oh this is episode one of when prank calls go wrong he's on his way here to kill everyone oh friendship ended and that's what we do on our episode that's what we do on this podcast we split friendships apart for the entertainment of yourself so make sure you tell your uncles about this and goodbye and we're getting that's a bit more best back to the best we're getting pretty good we're getting pretty good we're getting pretty good we're getting pretty good we're getting pretty good if i get a video of George fucking me up that'll be all right yeah we'll put that either add it onto the end of the podcast yeah always fuck i feel bad now sorry about that one