 Well, I would agree with you if, if, because you said that the software engineer might be next door. That would make sense if the girls were talking about like the suburban girls gravitate to the drug dealers because it's new, it's different. But the reality is the suburban girls gravitate to the drug dealers. The girls who grew up next door to the drug dealers gravitate to the drug dealers. So even if it's familiar to you or if it's unfamiliar, there's still an idea that it's exciting. So it must be more than just it's different and I don't know that life. All right, so the first question I'd like to start off with is in an alternate universe, Freaky Friday, you woke up tomorrow and you were a dude. What kind of man would you be? Walk me through your day. What kind of man would I be? I don't even know. That's interesting, I don't know. I mean, I would say I get up, shower, get myself together, make sure I take care of my skin, make sure my hair looking good, make sure I'm dressed well and then hop in a car and go to work. I don't know. What kind of job are you doing? What kind of dude are you? What kind of dude am I? What kind of dude would I be? I would like to say I would be very business. I would love to be an entrepreneur. That's what I am. So as a male I would definitely be the same. So maybe not necessarily clocking in to work, but going to do whatever my perspective duties would be for my job, for my business. And then just like getting up with, I guess my boys afterward, I don't know, like get a couple drinks. I don't know what job you're doing, like I don't got a man, so I don't know. What do you think, because the objective of the question is about empathy and being able to truly walk a mile in some light issues. What would your relationship with women be like? I would like to say that I would be the empathetic man. The one that actually is honest and cares about your feelings, I would be the one that does the sweet things. Like the things that I would want as a female would do that as a male. So like the calls of Texas, picking you up something nice, cooking you some dinner, taking you out. I would be that guy, that guy that is able to be honest with you, but at the same time kicking with my friends, like I ain't got time to always be booed up with you. Yeah, I mean I would just be very real, like have fun, kick it, like just be able to do all the things that I do or that I would want my man to do. What if your woman still isn't happy? You don't spend enough time with me, you always want to be around your boys, how do you handle that? I wouldn't be the person that's always around my boys either. Like I like balance in my life, so my time would be split between doing work, chilling with my friends, being with my family for sure, like that's super important to me. And then like spending time with you, but if that's not enough time, then let's figure it out, like what are we going to do, like how much time are you wanting, like what are you wanting exactly, like I think is it that you want us to go out on more dates? Easy, we could do that, like is it that you want me to spend more time, like talking to you on the phones and you check, like what is it that I'm not doing? And then I can kind of redirect my life. Okay, that sounds good. Thanks. So the thing is a lot of men feel like the man you just described that you would be in our current world in 2022 and in the United States would not have very much luck with women. Wouldn't have much luck with women? A lot of men are going to say that that guy is going to be the simp. The what? The simp. Okay. He's going to be the nice guy who finishes last. He's going to be the guy and the friends on. So how do you respond to that? Why do you think men feel that way? Um, I think that men feel that if you're, like, if, well, if you're being honest and. To be a good dude, just the considerate, empathetic Russell Wilson. Russell Wilson. He got Sierra though. Yeah, but before that, you know what I'm saying? Do you think Russell Wilson was having success? The type of success as a future would have with women? Uh, probably not because of the type of, well, it depends on the type of woman. Like if he's generally speaking, just no, I think he would honestly. Russell Wilson is a good looking man. He's got a great job and he obviously can take care of life. He didn't have any kids beforehand. That's like a huge thing. Um, yeah. Now when it comes to future though, like future, he, I heard with the hoes and the strippers and of course like the strippers aren't trying to be with Russell Wilson and Russell ain't trying to be with no stripper. So I think it's just two different types of women. Um, so you're saying most women are more so strippers or do you think most women are normal? So who would most women find more attractive is the question? I think it's the type of way the business of a woman. For me, for most, for most women, I think most women probably would go, I don't know, because I don't know. Tell it, but you got to look outside yourself. I know. I guess most women would go with a future because of the fame and the money and. They're both famous. They both have money. Yeah. But you don't know like, no, a future like flash is his money. Like the flashy guy is of course the girl that you went, the, the main that you want to be with because you assumed that he's going to drag you in the Gucci and designer and give you all the money and put you in the videos and you got the cars and lambos and all these things. So yeah, that's way more appealing. And plus he's more out there. Like, you don't see Russell put himself out there like rustling out here in movies and you know, like he's Russell, like he plays a little ball and he does his life. I think most women want that we crave that attention. So you think future would give most women are going to feel like future would give them more attention than Russell? I think that most women would feel like they would give him that he would give women enough attention to so that it's not about him giving them attention. It's like you being associated with someone. So I think that as a female, sometimes it's not so much like it's future going to be home with me every night. Hell no, he ain't going to be home with me every night in the strip club or at the studio. Cool. But when I'm out with future like paparazzi, I'm going to be draped in this. I'm going to get all of this. Like it's the extra that comes with it that you may not necessarily see from Russell because like you don't you don't see it. Like that's not what he's putting out there. That's until Sierra come around. I didn't know that Russell had like what women he was talking to already like that. So I just think that it's sometimes what comes with being with that person that women are attracted to because we do crave attention and we do want to feel love and we do want to be noticed. And so I do think that if I'm with a future, yeah, I'm going to be noticed because everyone knows him. So everyone's going to know you because you're the girl that's with him. And sometimes that's all that you want. It's just to be known or just to be seen and just to be heard. Now whether that's what you're going to get at home, probably not and no one sees the at home life. And if you do it's in the taboids because it's usually some mess going on. That's the why it's coming up. So let's go a little deeper, right? Because celebrities are a different beast. Yes. And and and it's not really a good apples to apples comparison. But the whole future in Russell Wilson thing, I think it it it acts like a they act like placeholders. So Russell Wilson represents the good guy. Future represents the bad boy. Right. So the next question is why do you think? OK, so it's like a two parter. Do you think most women gravitate to the bad boy? And if that's the case, why do you think that is? Yes, I definitely think I definitely think that I think though we as women do gravitate to the bad boy because it's that rebellious side that we all have. Like as a as a female growing up, like you're just not you're very protected. Most women are protected by their family, by their mom, by their dad. They're someone wants to shield them and cover them and protect them and make sure that they're safe until a certain extent. Obviously, when you turn 18, like get on you so much. But normally as a female, like there's going to be parameters that are set up that kind of like block you in where me growing up seeing my friends that are guys like their parents letting them do kind of like whatever, you know, like there's so much freedom. I feel like so sometimes being with the one that's like the exact opposite or on the edge is like, oh, this is exciting. Like, I never got to do this, you know, I never got to be with this kind of person. And there are parts of and there's parts within I think everybody, especially females that like want to be wild and crazy. And like we have all the same like natural emotions to like rebel. And so I think there's this attraction to another person that has so much confidence and freedom to rebel and to be rebellious. And like people love it, love them for it, that it's like, oh, I'm going to see what it's like, like. So what because the reason I asked that question. So for instance, I have a 17 year old brother and he's coming up and he's seeing how the world works. And he's going to see that future tends to have more success. And because he's going to see that he's going to in some way, shape, perform, model his behavior more after future than Russell. And now you have more futures, right? And then on top of that, if you know, you have a lot of single mother households where they really recreate the deadbeat dad that they complain about all the time, they literally turn their son into the same dude. So like, how do we move forward and move away from the bad boys? Just more exciting when it comes to like a black community perspective. How do we get away from that? Should we get away from that? I don't know. I don't know if we necessarily need to like get away from it. I just think it doesn't need to be glamorized. I think the thing that makes it so popular is that people glamorize being the bad boy. Like who glamorizes society? I think like social media does like, yeah. I really just think a lot of social, it's a lot right now. But be more specific, like are men glamorizing it or women glamorizing it? Are both glamorizing it? I think it's both. I mean, I definitely think it's both. Like if you are a dude out here being a future or status, getting the money, getting the women, you got all the ice, you and everybody's pictures. Everybody want to be you. Of course you want to be that. Like that's like, oh, yeah, I want all the girls. I want to be up in this. I want to be in that. I want to be in the mix. I want to know this person. I want to be connected. So yeah, let me do all this stuff. Let me go and do all that. Let me go and buy this and, you know, let me do this. But at the same time as the women, too, that are just like, oh my gosh, like let me get in futures pictures because if I'm in futures pictures and I'm going to blow up in me Instagram baddies. So let me do everything I need to do to be in here. Let me get the lace, the lashes, the nails, the tight clothes, the no clothes, the whatever it's going to take to get noticed. So I think everybody, in a sense, like fuels it. And I think to get away from that, I don't think you'll ever get away from that because there's always going to be people that you're always going to be attracted to something that's different from you. I mean, opposite to track, like it's natural to like be attracted to something that's different because it looks intriguing and it's interesting. It's just different. Like you're just curious. Like curious. Do you think it's natural? I think it's natural to be curious. Okay. Okay. Now, where your curiosity takes you, that's on you. What do you think that comes from? So like, why do you think, so the curiosity is natural, I agree with you. But why do you think female curiosity tends to go to people called the pookies and the ray rays? Why do you think that is? Okay, you'll be more specific on what you're asking. Like the software engineer, you've never been with a software engineer, but it's like I can kind of assume what his life is like and that's boring. But the drug dealer, I've also never been with a drug dealer. And when I assume what his life is like, that's exciting. So why the different ideas of what different looks like and what's appealing? I think it's based off of what it's shown. Like if all you see is the software engineer, nerdy behind a computer at home, listen to his mom or is with his nerdy friends, of course, you're not gonna be like, oh, I want to be with that guy, unless that is you, then it's great. Compared to you seeing the drug dealer that got all the money, that every time you go and now he buying you this and buying that or whatever female that he's with, she's all glammed up, iced out, money, like they taking trips, you know, like that, of course, like who doesn't want to take trips and be iced out? Like it just like, I think it naturally is like, man, I want that. Like I could have this at any time. Like I mean, I work my own job and that's my life right now. Like I want something different than what I have. And so I think it comes down to like sometimes seeing something that looks like a dream and you wanting the dream versus like the software engineer, regular, regular guy, like, you know, he could be, you know, I could be my neighbor kind of thing. So I think sometimes that curiosity is just like, I just want something different. I want to know what it's like to be on the other side of whatever size you're on. Well, I would agree with you if if because you said that the software engineer might be next door. That would make sense if the girls were talking about like the suburban girls gravitate to drug dealers because it's new, it's different. But the reality is the suburban girls gravitate to the drug dealers. The girls who grew up next door to the drug dealers gravitate to the drug dealers. So even if it's familiar to you or if it's unfamiliar, there's still an idea that it's exciting. So it must be more than just it's different. And I don't know that life. I mean, I don't I don't think it's not not that. I think and I wouldn't say like the girls who grew up next to drug dealers gravitate to drug dealers because when you see it, it's like, OK, again, I think a lot of it is just what you can get from it. So that's what I was saying, like being with future is not just about being with future, it's everything else that comes with being with the future. You know, it's like it is the fame, it is the notoriety, it is this, it is that, you know, it is the other life, it is something new. So I think it's all the things that play into it. It's not just because I do want another life, but it's also because, like you said, like I can, if I'm with the software engineer, are you going to be flying me out to Turks and Caicos? Are we going to be, you know, like, I don't know, maybe, but I know for sure who's drug dealer, who got out of this cash. If I want to do that, then, yeah, we could do that, you know? So that's what I was saying, like, I think that a way to get away from this bad boy, like attraction necessarily, not necessarily bad boy, but this, this attraction to this rebel mentality is to not glamorize it or show what it's like if you're not a drug dealer, but you got a lot of money and you're a software engineer. Let me see a software engineer that lets get the dress as well, that goes out, that does all these things. Because to me, if I know you were a drug dealer, more than likely, it's not like, oh my gosh, let me go sign up and be with that man. Like, I'm not going to be like, that's why I want to be with you because you were a drug dealer. We're like, yes, like no. Have you seen those videos where it's like men on the street interviews, they go out into like Miami Beach or something and they stop people and they ask them questions. And like one of the ones they did, they asked them, like, would you rather a nine to five do it or a drug dealer? Nine out of 10 of the women were like drug dealer because it's more exciting because he'll spend more money on me because, you know what I'm saying? I want to ride around with you with your gun in your lap and all that stuff. But that's not about the person, it's about what you're getting from that person. So what you're saying is most women, and again, correct me if I'm wrong, are you saying most women don't actually want the man, they want the aesthetic? When you, in the context of you comparing the future and the rustle, the aesthetic is going to weigh heavy. So I'm not going to say most women are going to go one way or the other, I don't know what most women are going to want. I just know what I want as a person, like, is not going to be with a drug dealer, no offense. Then they done that, we good. It ain't that glaring or it's that kind of thing. I don't know, I think that as a female, as a woman, that you want someone that's going to be able to provide for you to show you attention, to show you attraction, that's going to be there for you. And sometimes you do get that feeling being with someone who has this ultra-rebel, mentality, the drug dealer mentality, the future life versus, and that looks appealing because that's instant. I can touch the money right now, I can see that right now. Versus being with the rustle, which in our honesty, nine times out of ten a woman is probably going to choose a rustle over a future. I mean, I'm not saying, I don't know what kind of women you can talk to, but as an educated black woman, being around other educated black women, they're not going for a future. I think that segues perfectly. I think that segues perfectly into my next question because here's what, you know, is paying attention to the comments to what people are talking about. You're right, but it ends up being like a Mike Jones situation. Back then you didn't want me, now I'm hot, they all want me. And what I mean by that is when the girls are 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 in their prime, according to society, that's when they go for the drug dealer. And after they are used, abused, misused by the drug dealer, then at 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, they're looking for rustle. I completely disagree. So talk to me, talk to me. I think that you're very stereotypical in that. I think that the 21s, the 25s that you're describing are a section of people that you see on social media. Like, I really do, like, and I'm not saying that at 21, 22, like I wasn't the girl that was like, I want to be with the drug dealer, like, I want to be with someone that has money is what I want. And it's the money that I want. And if the drug dealer has the money he's going to treat me right, then yeah, 21, I want to be with the drug dealer then. Because he got money. But I don't think, I don't think it's the drug dealer piece that, you know, is the problem. I think it's the, I had fucked up priorities when I was younger. Now I have better priorities because I'm older and wiser. And I expect the same outcomes that were available to me at 21, 22, 23. What do you mean? Meaning that the software engineer should still want me. And now that I appreciate him, because I know it's not just about flashy. It's about 401ks. It's about what do you have in the bank account? It's about sustainability. Now that I know that he should want me again. So why do you think men are angry about that? Well, first of all, when you look at a man who is 21, 22, 23, he's not a software engineer more than likely. And he is not a Russell Wilson. Explain. Like, unless you're telling me that the majority of the men between the age of 21 and 25 are a Russell Wilson that have their head on straight, that actually are not trying to chase women in the club, being crazy and foolish. That's all I'm saying. No, what I'm saying is the guys who are 21, 22, 23 are future software engineers. And they're currently the boring nerd guy that's in the house and studying. I don't think that's it. But later on, it's almost like a butterfly cocoon situation. Later on, he's going to become a Russell Wilson. Right. But because women don't prioritize that type of potential, he gets overlooked a lot of times. Well, no, I think that when we're comparing, okay, so if we're comparing a 21 to 25-year-old female who we describe as going for the futures, it's more than likely because, or the drug dealers, it's because the 21 to 25-year-old man at that time is the future. So all 21 to 25-year-old men are futures? I'm not saying all. Just like I'm not saying all women are. I'm saying if you're talking about the majority of black men between the ages of 21 to 25, the majority of black men between the ages of 21 to 25 are not out here trying to put their head in the book to study. They are not out here trying to hold down home. That's not true. The difference is the ones that are seen are the ones who are flashy. That's the same type. That's what I'm saying about women, too. The ones that you're describing are only the ones that are seen. So if we're going to compare apples to apples, let's talk about the flashy dudes and the out-hero females because they attract each other. I disagree. Yeah, I know. The reason I disagree is because generally our culture, because obviously all I've dealt with is women. All I've dealt with is black women. Generally our culture pushes the same aesthetic to everybody. And unfortunately today, young women, whether they are inside the nerds or inside the bad bitch, they still accept that narrative. So what I'm saying is even the cheerleaders want the quarterback, but the nerdy girls also want the quarterback because he's the quarterback, right? Right. And she's not looking at the band geek. So the band geek gets overlooked by both women. So it's not as simple as saying, oh, the nerds are going to find themselves, the hot people are going to find themselves. No, both people are overlooking the nerds, right? But then later on, when the nerd glows up, because most men glow up, you know, most nerds, nerd men glow up, she wants the same outcome. What is wrong with that? Because as a society, right, as a society, we have decided that men have a certain curriculum to grade what type of man you are. We've also decided women have a certain curriculum to grade what type of woman you are. What happens a lot of times is we think those curriculums are the same. So what I mean by that is a man getting a master's degree makes him more attractive to women. A woman getting a master's degree, she assumes makes her more attractive to men, but it's not the case because a curriculum is different. And for men, our curriculum for women is based on youth and it's based on beauty. Both those things go away over time. So I think that's why men are upset about it. Because it's like when I slid in your DMs, when you were still hot, you didn't want me, but now you got five baby daddies and you didn't gain 200 pounds now you want me. See, I think the fact that you even labeled it as that is a problem. Talk to me. Because as an educated black female, I don't have any baby days. And who the fuck cares if I got a baby they did not because more than likely nine times out of 10, you have two to three baby moms. So if we don't play that route, like you lost. But who are you talking about? I'm just saying like you just described, you said I wanted you when I was outside. But that's future though. Future has two or three baby moms. The software engineer. But the software engineer, why are you assuming that the, I guess it bothers me that the narrative is always like, well now she got all these kids and now she unattractive. And now that's when she wants that. And that's not the case. Yeah, I don't think that's the case. I don't think it's always the case that because I got five baby daddies or I got all these kids or just didn't work. And now I want you like, no, I think that people grow. And I think that I just, I just don't think that because I know a bunch of beautiful black women, including myself who glowed out, who actually glowed up after whatever the hot stage was when everyone was hot at their 20s. Like now I'm in my 30s and I'm the best looking thing that I could have ever been. And I still don't have a man. So let's talk about that. But no, I'm just saying, let me finish that part. But like, I just, I don't think that it's, I don't think it's about, oh, you weren't hot then. Now I want you because it didn't work out over here. I think that sometimes it's, I couldn't see you. I couldn't see that. Like that's not what I was looking for at that time. So of course I'm going to skip past you because why I do want the quarterback, maybe not because he is the finest thing, but because he's the quarterback. Again, it's about what comes with it, you know? Like, and I think that's the main thing is about, sometimes it's for females, what comes with it, not necessarily all about the looks and all these things. So are you, when you're talking to other females, especially younger females, are you encouraging them to have foresight? Well, yeah. I mean, I'm always encouraging like my little cousin, she is, she just turned 16 and it's like, like focus on you. Like, focus, like for real, like focus on you, like focus on like finding out who you are as an individual, not being social media, like heavy, like, yeah, social media. I mean, you grew up in technology, so of course it's a part of you, but like you don't have to be that to be everything. Like you don't got to be the Instagram baddie or the Facebook girl or you don't got to have the this or that. Like you don't have to do all these things. Like sometimes it's just good to just be you and figure out you before you start trying to be everything for everybody else because I also think that that's a part of this crazy whatever this is going on between men and women in the black society right now, like especially in the younger generations, like everything's so social media heavy and social media driven that you can't tell me who you are. You don't even have your own language. All you know is what that Instagram or that TikToker says and like that's all you want to be. It's like that TikToker because they have a hundred thousand views like a hundred thousand followers. Like, but who are they? And more importantly, who are you? Like you're not them. So who are you? And so yeah.